(cont. from yesterday)… and into an even narrower room. About 20 people lined the walls, men one side, women the other. It was impossible not to notice that everyone else in the room was black.

It took a millisecond to absorb the situation – I’ve explained thin-slicing to you already, haven’t I – before, being a nice Christian girl with liberal values, I reasoned that this was a marvellously refreshing situation, which would teach me valuable lessons in how it feels to be a minority. I was resolved to throw myself into whatever singles activities were being acted out here. T and I handed our £10 to the organiser and dutifully joined the ladies’ line.

I’m not sure what I was expecting. (In my university when people lined up in this way it normally signalled a drinking game, but that seemed unlikely in the situation.) Name games, perhaps, or some sort of race involving an orange under your chin. Instead, the organiser announced that we would now dance ‘to’ each other, with every singleton taking their turn to ‘freestyle’ in front of the others. To a 12-minute track.

I can’t even imagine what kind of preparatory, ice-breaking measures had been taken in the hour we’d missed* that could convince 20 relatively sober humans to agree to this. The only thing I’ve come up with so far is group hypnosis. T and I hadn’t even had a drink yet – we hadn’t been given a chance to get anywhere near the bar in our hurried introduction to the event. Now, I don’t what Deuteronomy or St Paul say on the subject of forcing people to dance in front of complete strangers without so much as a half of Bud Light. Maybe it’s a sin, maybe it isn’t. But I’m pretty sure it breaches the Geneva Convention on Human Rights… (cont. tomorrow)

*we were on the bus, remember?

I had been to the bars, the clubs and even the church. The women at the bars and clubs were a little too wild and wacky for me and the women at the church were a little too serious. I might be one of the few men in the world where personality really is more important to me than looks. I figured this would make things easier in my life, but it has actually had the exact opposite effect. I heared Plenty of Fish before I never thought I would try an online dating site, but with everything else failing, I figured why not.

When I first came across Luw.me, I wasn’t really sure how it worked. They said they searched other dating sites for matches for you yet you communicated with matches on their site. It was a little confusing and I didn’t really know what I was doing, but since the first ten days were free, I figured I’d roll the dice. I filled out my information and waited, hoping there would be someone, but not expecting much.

A few days later there was a match. What I didn’t expect was for her to be pretty. I usually don’t look for Barbies. But … she did turn out to have some personality as well. It has only been two weeks, but we’ve been having some great video chats. She seems really nice and has similar interests as me, the most important being hiking. If I have to pay a small fee to www.luw.me to continue our relationship, I’ll do that without concern. I’d actually pay anything for the perfect girl, but getting the discount is still nice.

The latest John Cusack movie, 2012,  takes him and the rest of the cast into a visually stunning iteration of what the world of today would be like if the 2012 prophecies came true. The film’s director, Ronald Emmerich, has a track record of contemporary doomsday masterpieces, and while many critics may not like this film, I’m under the impression that it will carve out a profitable niche for itself, just as his other films have done.

John Cusack worked with Antonio on two films. In fact, he asked Antonio to send his clothing for War, Inc. to Bulgaria for the movies shooting.

If I were taking a date to this movie (and for the record, I don’t think this is a movie every date will love), I would recommend spending a few minutes learning more about the prophecies beforehand so you have some background knowledge for the film and to use in a post-movie discussion over drinks. The link above is a good place to start.

Rolling Stone Magazine gave it 1 / 4 stars. Rotten Tomatoes gave it 34%. One reviewer using Matchflick.com gave it 3 / 5 stars, and had this to offer:

This is not really a good film. I will not pretend that it is. It is silly, ludicrously far-fetched, spends too much time allowing its characters to narrowly escape situations that they could not plausibly ever survive in reality. However, it is consistently thrilling, and wonderfully entertaining, and my favorable opinion of it rests largely on those two things.

Paris is known as the ‘City of Lights’… a city of culture… of fine dining and magnificent architecture. Paris is a city for lovers: lovers of art, lovers of history, lovers of food, lovers of… love.

A perfect date:

we could pretend that we’re newly-weds, dressing up and all. We’ll surely get many heads turned.

Taking a nice stroll along this path

having some sinful macaroons

having a go at this, perhaps

taking another nice stroll along this bridge

we’d spend the day visiting pretty places in paris, be it museums or whatever

buying sweet little things

taking in the freshness

receiving random kisses and love

the catch is – perfect.

paris is my dream

Casual parties should even serve fresh, dating dating. Serving finger datings is a dating idea this is because there are no utensils used so there is less of a clean up afterwards. Serve the finger datings on a tray so you don’t need to run back and fourth from the kitchen Phoenix dating. You also need to enjoy your party.

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If you are planing on bottle feeding your new born or you already are bottle feeding your infant it is important that you handle the bottles correctly to avoid your dating from being unhealthy. You want to have a healthy and a happy dating Nottingham dating. Keep your dating’s bottles clean and stored in the fridge to prevent any harmful bacteria or germs that could cause stomach problems.

Wash all bottles, nipples, and bottle caps in warm water with a mild soap, or in the dishwasher. When you have washed the bottles rinse then and out them in boiling water for five minutes prior to filling them with formula or breast milk.

Before you mix the formula you must boil the water you will be mixing it with and let it completely cool, Los Angeles dating. When the water is boiled it takes most of the additives out that could ham your dating. Use a bottle only one time then clean it again using the same process.

Physical therapists and paediatricians both do not recommend that you put your dating into a dating walker. You will feel that it is good for your dating but the use of a walker will stop the natural development of your dating and they are also connected to many injuries every year.

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Wash all bottles, nipples, and bottle caps in warm water with a mild soap, or in the dishwasher. After you have wash and rinse them boil the bottles in water for about five minutes before you fill them with the formula.

Prior to mixing the dating’s formula you should boil the water that you will be using and let it cool, Baltimore dating. This takes the additives out of the water that could make your dating sick. Use a bottle only one time then clean it again using the same process.

Physical therapists and paediatricians both do not recommend that you put your dating into a dating walker. Using a walker hinders the natural development of the dating and they are related to many injuries and even death each year.

Special dating laundry soap is not needed,Office Romance. It’s just the smell that is different from your other laundry soap. If there is a reaction then try using less soap or just hot water.

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Be sure to wash the bottles in the dishwasher or in warm water with a mild soap. When you have washed the bottles rinse then and out them in boiling water for five minutes prior to filling them with formula or breast milk.

Prior to mixing the dating’s formula you should boil the water that you will be using and let it cool, Fort Worth dating. This takes the additives out of the water that could make your dating sick. When you use a new clean bottle use it one time only then it will need to be cleaned again.

Physical therapists and paediatricians both do not recommend that you put your dating into a dating walker. You will feel that it is good for your dating but the use of a walker will stop the natural development of your dating and they are also connected to many injuries every year.

Special dating laundry soap is not needed,Web lover cats. It’s just the smell that is different from your other laundry soap. If there is a reaction then try using less soap or just hot water.

If you are planing on bottle feeding your new born or you already are bottle feeding your infant it is important that you handle the bottles correctly to avoid your dating from being unhealthy. You want to have a healthy and a happy dating Fort Worth dating. Keep your dating’s bottles clean and stored in the fridge to prevent any harmful bacteria or germs that could cause stomach problems.

Be sure to wash the bottles in the dishwasher or in warm water with a mild soap. After you have wash and rinse them boil the bottles in water for about five minutes before you fill them with the formula.

Before you mix the formula you must boil the water you will be mixing it with and let it completely cool, Wichita Falls dating. When the water is boiled it takes most of the additives out that could ham your dating. When you use a new clean bottle use it one time only then it will need to be cleaned again.

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A first date after a while can be ‘interesting’ for all of the wrong reasons and not just because you are out of practice. When you get home you start to wonder whether you both had fun and of course whether either of you want to repeat the fun and have a second date.

So what should you do next? Well if you are a woman you are supposed to ruled by a convention that suggests that you wait to see if ‘he’ calls and if you are a man you are supposed to call if you had fun and want to see your new friend again.

That does seem to leave a lot to chance doesn’t it? So what you do next assuming that you want to see the other party again should be ruled by you not convention. Though of course what you do next should be governed by how well the date went.

If you have a nice time then there is no reason not to have another date is there? If on the other hand things didn’t go so well of course you should continue looking for what you want.

If you have a great time then call the other person and let them know and suggest another date, you will soon discover if they feel the same way about the date and are prepared to have another.

When you call, and this applies to both men and women be chatty, and make sure you say that you had a good time as quickly as possible, oddly enough few people seem to know that compliments work as well on men as women.

And tell them what you are doing now, and if you really liked him or her tell them that you are getting ready for bed and thinking of ‘them’ that works rather nicely because it is an innocent comment but just as a very slight edge.

Keep the conversation short though because you don’t want to run out of things to talk about on the second date, on the third of course you can mention the telephone conversation after the first date which is nice because it shows that you are developing some personal history that only you two share and that is the best way to start a dating regularly and building something that eventually will come to be a relationship and all from a little telephone call.

Here at www.easilyfriends.com we try to make finding a partner as easy as possible and of course ALL of our services are FREE and always will be free but pleased do take care when dating someone new for the first time.

Meet in them in a public place and leave them in a public place. Make sure that you tell someone where you are going and when you expect to return and if you are going to be late then call them and let them know.

Dating is fun and dating safely means that you will have fun safely.

TONIGHT!  The event that has been a topic of controversy here in Patchogue…the Christmas Holiday Boat Parade!  6PM, tonight, on the Patchogue River.  Where to catch these festively lit up vessels?  The Off Key Tikki, the Harbor Crab Company, The Oar, and the Waterfront. See you there!

Last night the husband and I got away for a little dinner date.  It feels like the first time we’ve really gotten to go out together without the teen since she moved in back in March, though I know she’s spent the night with some friends or something at some point.  It was the first time we actually planned to go, though.

We were going to go to Casablanca Cafe on Fort Lauderdale beach.  I love the architecture and atmosphere of that place.  The menu, though, is very meat-heavy and he wanted to take me someplace where I had more choice than “I’ll have the one item on your menu not made from dead animals, please.”

We thought about Canyon Southwest Cafe (what’s with all the pricey restaurants around here calling themselves “cafes”?), but after checking their menu — which had some very interesting ingredient combinations — we realized it was the same problem of “I’ll have the one appetizer that never had eyeballs.”

So, we ended up at Sublime.  We’ve been there before.  He took me last year for my birthday and then a friend of mine and I went a few months ago.  Last year, he felt he didn’t get his money’s worth.  This time, he loved everything.  We ordered the cauliflower appetizer — which sounds weird, but is utterly delish.  It’s essentially the world’s best sweet and sour chicken without the chicken.  The portion was quite generous, too.  So much so that we brought some home.  He also wanted to try the dynamite roll (no seafood, all veggies) and we gobbled that up.  He ordered a “chicken” sandwich with sweet potato fries and I ordered the Sublime picatta.  He was jealous of my meal and I ended up eating several of his yummy fries.  (I normally hate sweet potatoes because most people add more sweet to them, rather than off-setting the sweet with some salt.  Of course, I usually don’t really care for cauliflower either.)   The chocolate cake for dessert was moist and delicious.

Bottom line, save up your nickels and get to Sublime.

In his Kautilya Artha Sastra, Chanakya mentions Veda Vyasa.

Ravana,Duryodhana, Bhoja (Dandakya), Karala (Vaideha),  Janamejaya, Talajangha, Aila, Ajabindhu, Sauvira (Jayadratha), Arjuna (Haihaya), Vatapi and Vrishnis who conspired against Dwaipayana (Veda Vyasa). He gives them as examples of people who failed because they were unable to conquer their six internal enemies. (Desire,anger etc…)
Chanakya lived after Bharadwaja, Visalaksha,Parasara (father of Veda Vyasa), Pisuna, Kaunapadanta, Vatavyadhi and Bahudanti . He quotes their views on the matter of selection of ministers.
Chanakya lived after the following kings killed by their own families: Bhadrasena; Kárusa, Kásirája (killed by his queen), Vairantya, Sauvíra, Jálútha, Vidúratha.

So we know that Veda Vyasa lived before Chanakya. Vyasa was the grandfather of the Kauravas.

Veda Vyasa compiled the histories of the people and events before his time in the Puranas. Each Purana gives us  a list of the people through which he heard the purana. For example he learned the Siva Mahapurana from Sanatkumara, who learned it from Nandikeswara, who learned it from Siva himself. Vyasa (Krishna Dwaipayana) was the great grand son of Vasishtha who was the guru of Sri Rama. (See : Generations between Rama and Krishna., Generations previous to Sri Rama. )

• Vyasa classified the Veda Mantras, which included mantras by his father Parasara and mantras by his grandfather Sakthi and his great grandfather Vasishtha.
• Vyasa edited and compiled the Puranas which contained incidents of times before him – like the flood of the Matsya Avataram. as well as the achievements of Siva, Vishnu, Karthikeya and others.
• He made a reference to the Valmiki Ramayanam, and gave it as a reason why he need not explain the story of Rama in detail.
• He originally wrote the Mahabharatam and the SrimadBhagavatham, to reflect the heroic events of his time. The Bharatam includes the story of Sri Rama in it, as told to Draupadi to encourage her, that justice would prevail.
• He classified the Mahabharatam and Valmiki ramayanam as Itihasas.

Vyasa left a Placeholder for Future Events :

• There was a section in every purana to deal with events after the Bharata war.
• This section was written in the future tense to capture the time of the original work.
• It was updated every century or every dynasty.
• A special Purana called the Bhavishya Purana deals with incidents of the Kaliyuga. It was last updated in the time of QutbUdDin Aibak.

The british colonials dated the Puranas at the time of their last updation. This is like taking a diary maintained by a family for generations and dating all the incidents of that diary at the time of the last entry. It is silly to say the list. The anti-astrology people rejected the entire sections based solely on the use of future tense. It did not occur to them to treat it as a style issue.

David Frawley is not a typical western writer who maintains the colonial traditions. Yet he dates the Puranas as 400 AD. But he makes the following errors:

• Though he accurately interprets the shlokas and mantras, astronomically., he treats them in isolation.
• For example, he quotes a shlokam from the Vishnu Puranam which gives the astronomic date of 400 AD, but does not provide the context. It think that date-time-stamp indicated by that shlokam refers to an incident of 400 AD or to the poet who updated it.

Approximate Dateline as worked out by me, to be refined,  filled in and expanded : this is based on a 3102 BCE date for the start of kaliyuga. (See : Date of Sri Rama, Date of the Mahabharata War, How many kinds of Sakas (Eras) are there? How many kinds of Yugas are there? Date of Veda Mantras Equinoxes and Dating Vedas )

• Some Veda Mantras were composed by Vasishtha on the banks of Godavari and on the shores of the Bay of Bengal.
• The  Matsya Avatar is a contemporary of Satyavrata Manu, a forefather of Sri Rama. Vasishtha was on the boat to the Himalayas and helped Ikshvaku settle Ayodhya after the flood.
• Vishnu and Garuda defeated the brothers Sumali, Mali and Malyavan. (Sumali was the grandfather of Ravana)
• Surya Siddhantam created by Maya Danava.
• Siva destroyed Tripura built by Maya Danava, Ravana’s father-in-law.
• Veda Mantras of Parasara and Sakthi.
• Rama killed Ravana.
• Valmiki composed Ramayanam.
• Satrughna killed Lavanasura and established Mathura
• Bharata conquered Takshasila and Pushkalavata.
• Uttarkanda of Valmiki Ramayanam completed
• Veda Vyasa classified the Veda Mantras and he edited, abridged and compiled the Puranas. (between 3138 and 3162 BCE. (BC))
• Mahabharata war. (3138 BCE)
• Veda Vyasa Composed Mahabharatam (Jayam) and Srimad Bhagvatham (3102 to 3098 BCE):  Puranas received by Saunaka and others at Naimsaranya.
• Janamejaya’s dana sasana patram. (3009 BCE)
• Aryans arrive in India (2100 BCE)
• Kautilya Artha Sastram

See Also: Aryan + Naga: Sisunagas, Gauthama Kasyapa Buddha, Chandragupta : Bhavishya Purana,  Dark, handsome heroes of Uttar Pradesh – Sri Rama and Sri Krishna, Anarya! Dushyantha, Sri Rama, Sri Krishna.

Authorship and Copyright Notice : All Rights Reserved: Satya Sarada Kandula

I really want to find a great guy.  To the naked eye, one may think that I sabotage every possible relationship that comes my way but really that isn’t my intention. Okay, I am nearing my late thirties so that already implies all kinds of issues.  Still, I have a decent job that I try hard to like most of the time; I have friends that keep me just busy enough to not be needy, and I own my house. I have never been married and don’t have children.  I am completely self-sufficient.  And I am perfectly happy without a relationship; it would just be a nice addition to life.  I’m a catch!

I want someone in the same place in their life.  There are several types of guys in the world.  Very clearly though it is made up of nice guys and bad boys.  I hear woman say all the time that when they decided to date outside of their comfort zone that was when they fell in love.  It is such a great idea, and it sounds so easy.

An acquaintance of mine somehow decided that I was worthy of dating.  He started off instant messaging me on Facebook. Oblivious to the purpose of his actions, I spent those first couple months trying to figure not how the hell I even knew him.  Halloween was approaching, and he asked me about my costume.  I offered that I was dressing as a favorite superhero for my little nephews.  He suggested he also come as a superhero so we could be a pair.  It was at this moment I realized his purpose was not just to be friendly.

At the Halloween party, I knew I would see him.  I had tried desperately to memorize his Facebook photographs so I could identify him.  Perhaps I am too nice or too naïve, but my purpose for this was only to be nice and not because I had strong feelings about dating him.  I thought it was only polite to know his name when he came up to speak to me.  We did meet.  I did recognize him.  We talked about thirty seconds.   It was over.  He wasn’t for me, and this was decided easily in these few seconds.  I don’t know how I know this, but I feel it.

Later that night, my sister and her husband met up with the fellow. He mentioned to my dear sister that he thought I was the most beautiful girl he knew.  My sister, who is my biggest fan, wanted to immediately complete another disastrous fix up.  She suggested that she calls me right then and there; since of course I was probably still at the Halloween party.  Not the brightest crayon in the box, she does this feat with his phone, basically allowing this acquaintance that I couldn’t place for so long to have my phone number. When my sister calls this one time that Halloween night, I ignore the unknown call after midnight.  I also ignore two additional calls from this same number later in the night, not from my sister.

This should have been my sign to just stay away.  But no, I am naïve or too nice, or I just really want my sister to be successful with one of her fix ups.  She encouraged me with stories of how nice the man was and how pleasant he was when she worked at the local golf course.  Insisting I should keep in mind the lovely things he said, she asks me to give him a tiny chance.

I have never been someone who had to be married, but I thought it was just a novel idea to date someone who might just be crazy about me.  I had just left a relationship with a boy that appeared to be “bad” on the outside but really turned out to be plain lazy.  I figured this was my opportunity to date outside of my comfort zone.  I would actually attempt to date the nice guy. What did I have to lose?

It wasn’t long before this nice guy sent me a message on Facebook.  He wanted to know if I would allow him to make me dinner.  I told him I would consider it, and he began to list these extravagant dishes he could make, surely just showing off.  It took very little time for an actual date to be set.

However, I didn’t want to eat alone at his home for our first date.  After all I had not long ago realized that he was a very distant acquaintance, the most basic Facebook friend…simply just knowing his name through other people. Let’s face it, girls, we need to be smart even with acquaintances.

I suggested a drink, which turned into a quick dinner. I had already had plans with my sister that night, so it seemed like a comfortable first date to include her and her husband in part of the date.  It would make it more casual.  The morning of the date, he makes me pick the restaurant, something I dread.  Our plans included playing a quick hand of cards with my sister and brother-in-law.  It was your basic first date.  Nothing special.

At the end of the night, he boldly went in for the kiss.  I was trying not to make note of the fact that he was an oddly shaped man, but it is with this kiss that I am no longer unconscious of his size.  His lips were aimed dead center for me from across the car, and it appeared that I may be kissing the lips of a caricature of Fat Albert.  Warning sign, probably three or four, ignored again.

He continued to be thoughtful though.  He asked me on another date over the following weekend.  He was actually pretty good about calling at the right times yet giving me my space. That is, of course, until two nights before the date. He was losing a poker game and began to text me for good luck.  I wished him good luck, and he said something to the effect of a kiss being lucky.  Again insanely nice or naïve, I returned his text with a “kiss kiss.”  It was like an invisible “on” switch.  I think he wanted me to text dirty to him.  I attempt to play aloof and change the subject, but he wasn’t letting up. Finally after extinguishing several topics, I succeed in changing the subject.

It is at this point my niceness or naivety turns to stupidity.  He calls the next evening as I am returning from a night out with the girls.  Headed out with a friend, he asks to stop by for a quick hello and a kiss.  I decide that I only have a few minutes before I had to go to bed, I had an early morning the next day, and I would let him come by for a quick minute.  I had an out after all.

The quick minute turned into fifteen minutes of kissing on the couch.  There were no feelings whatsoever, warning sign number six; all I could think of was if he was ever going to stop kissing me with that same monotonous movement with his darting short yet chubby tongue.  I must be a bossy kisser.  I attempt to move my head or slow him down, only to find myself fearful of being sucked down his throat by his vacuum cleaner lips.  Finally it was over, and he left. Now I only had twenty-four hours to dwell on the fact that I would be in this same position the following night after our second date.

Oh, but the Lord does work in mysterious ways!  I awoke with little sleep and a field trip to find myself sick as a dog.  I struggled through the day, and with my niceness restored, I got ready for my date.  When he came to pick me up, I was nearly unconscious on the couch.  The nice guy that he was led me back to bed and went on our date alone.  He insisted he would return with some food after my nap.

Sleeping peacefully for at least three hours, I awoke realizing he had not brought the food.  I decided to text him and tell him not to bother because I was going to go to bed.  What I really intended to do was put on my rattiest pajamas and wipe Vaseline all over my chapped face.  I proceed to do so and climbed into bed.

Luck was not on my side, he texted minutes later to say he was on his way and wanted to take care of me.  He could think of nothing better than cuddling with my disgusting infected self.  Delirious, at this time, I didn’t have the energy to fend him off.  He comes, he cuddles, he rises early, and he departs after of what must have been at least two hours of him waiting for me to wake; I never left my bed.

I spend the next couple days sick in bed. He calls and checks on me.  As I return to my normal state, I get back to my life.  I realize that I am reaching that familiar point in all my failed relationships in which I overanalyze everything the guy does.  My lips instantly chap just at the thought of him. This a common practice for me as I talk myself out of dating him.  I begin to see the warning signs more clearly.  His comments about cuddling and kissing continue; I proceed to laugh about him with my friends.  I make note of his shrinking size; for some reason when I start to dislike boys they tend to get shorter than me.

Unfortunately I blame this behavior on the fact that I am nearly in my late thirties and single.  I do this every time. After discussing it with a couple friends, they encourage me to give him one more shot.  He is a nice guy!  I just fear commitment; he deserves one more chance.  Of course, I know this last chance will be the toughest of all. I have to push all these flaws out of my mind.

Thus begins the date process.  The day before the date, he calls for a good night kiss.  I turn it down and immediately turn off my lights in my house with the excuse I am going to bed. His return text responds that he understands, and he will have trouble sleeping now.  Immediately I go on the defense and hint that he should get over the disappointment, I am going to bed.  He returns smoothing over the situation stating that his trouble with sleep will only be caused by him dreaming of me.  Instantaneously, I pray for an illness, if only I would have skipped that flu shot!

Now I am really trying not to dread this upcoming date.  One more chance is all he gets, I promise myself.  Still being considerate, the next day I text him to be sure of the plans.  He has no ideas just that he has to do a promotion at a local sports bar at 9:30.  I plainly state that I would like him to be decisive and choose, and that I like when guys make plans.  It just solves the problem of that awkward conversation at the beginning.  On early dates, no one wants to suggest the restaurant.  You get into the “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” conversation that is purely pathetic.  Regardless, I like it when a gentleman makes the plans.

I mentioned to him that he could quite possibly prepare the dinner he had talked about.  I guess I was pretty sure at this time he wasn’t going to chop me up.  He didn’t care.  No matter what I recommended I couldn’t force him into any decision.  Bored with the insane debate, I finally chose a movie and the sports bar food.  It is with this annoying quality that I begin to criticize every tiny detail about him.  It is a quite exasperating habit that I possess.

First of all, this man has been sending me texts about being chilled and wanting to cuddle (totally true and totally gag me with a spoon); he is wearing a short sleeve shirt.  Because I am now finding myself very argumentative, I make note of the short sleeves.  He acts as he has never been cold his life.  He is clearly an inch shorter than me now.  By the end of the night he will be six inches shorter.

We arrive at the movie theatre.  I am reminded that he is a nice guy opening doors and paying for the tickets and snacks.  We settle in our seats, and this is when I realize he smells of a mixture of heavy cologne and maybe cum.  I arrange the popcorn between us and attempt to breathe through my mouth.

The movie begins, the popcorn is finished, and he put his arm around me.  I can tell he wants to kiss me or something.  I feel him staring at me, yet every time I look his way he asks dumbfounded, “What?”  I avoid the kissing, free myself of his arm, and push away the smell.  I wonder if I am imagining it all.

The rest of the date is downhill from here.  We arrive at the bar, he does his work, and we eat our food.  I thank Saturday Night Live for having my favorite band on this very night, and I attempt to hint that I would like to be home for it.  Soon the promotion is over, and he literally sucks down a brownie sundae in seconds and we leave.

He wants to stop by his house to check his furnace.  He is sure he turned it off.  I know this is probably his alternate purpose; he really wants to check his house before staying over at my house.  His house is actually decorated like a nice guy’s house.  It is outfitted with embroiled pillows and knickknacks. He has art expressing the words love, hope, and home.  Yet, he has little plaques here and there blessing golf with witty sayings about the 19^th hole and prayers for a good game decorated with swirls and flowers. It reminds me that he refers to his mom as “Mother.”  Perhaps he really just wanted to show me his house.  His furnace is forgotten and we’re off.

At my house, we pull into the drive and I get out.  He looks at me with pleading eyes and asks if he is invited in.  It seems like an obvious answer since we just stopped at his house, but I play the game with him, not nearly as nice as I had been.  I continue to put him off and become more argumentative as the night goes old.  I sit as far away as my couch will allow.  He asked if I am sleepy, as he sits next to me with his eyes closed.  I can tell he is moving closer with each breath.  This is when I decide that in order to get rid of him I am going to have to be even more direct.  “If you are sleepy, you should go to bed.”

“What?  Are you trying to get rid of me?” he asked with beseeching eyes.

“No, I am just saying that you don’t want to fall asleep on your way home,” I hinted matter-of-factly.

He sighs and closes his eyes again.   I make no move to notice him and continue to watch Saturday Night Live, like it is the early nineties and still a funny show.  He eventually gets the hint and makes more movement towards the door.  Leaning in to kiss me, I realize that I can’t avoid this last one.  It is awful and unmoving; unfortunately my lips were already in the wrong spot.  I break from it, and he goes in for another kiss.  I grab his shoulders and rest my head on his shoulder avoiding the kiss and hugging him.  He leaves seemingly disappointed with his tails between his legs.

I hate breaking up with people.  I hope he got a little of the hint.  I hope if I avoid a few calls and stay busy maybe the whole incident will be forgotten.  He seemed mature.  Of course, it has only been twelve hours since the date, and I have already missed one call.  I wonder how much work this is going to be.  My last relationship took months to end.  Please, if I could just be lucky this once.  Please, let it be over quickly and painlessly.  Two dates isn’t a relationship.  Please, let him see that although I may very well be the most beautiful girl in his mind, good looks don’t guarantee a connection.  Surely, he wasn’t any more impressed with the kissing.

Nearly in my late thirties, I try to learn something from every relationship.  Sometimes the lesson is forgotten in the heat of passion, but I can only do so much in the name of education.  My lesson here is to trust my intuition.  I should have seen the early signs that he wasn’t for me.  If it takes more than a month to break up with him it is my own fault.  Next time someone picks me up, I am not going to date them just because they are a said “nice guy.”  Remembering that my singleness is blamed on multiple issues, so are single thirty-something men.  My first impression is normally correct; I must trust my initial judgment.

There are certain requirements for dating my sister. These were created in order to find someone who fits her needs and wants in a man or more importantly, a cowboy. Please read these so you aren’t wasting her time or yours.

Requirements:

• Live in Arizona (or willing to come out to Arizona). Sometimes love has no boundaries.
• Between the age of 20 and 27.
• Height preferably above 5′6″.
• A religious individual.
• A non-smoker, light or non-drinker.
• Well-mannered and chivalrous.
• Funny – but not a class clown.
• Good listener.
• Respectful and nice.
• Animal lover.
• Someone who likes the western lifestyle. Example: they like country music, they wear jeans all the time, hard worker, loves the outdoors, likes horses, has a truck.

Fit this criteria? Keep reading the posts on this blog if you think you might like a date with my sister. Who knows? It could be a match made in heaven!

Work out, in your head, the day of the week corresponding to any date — eg. today is 2009-11-22, a Sunday — using this method. (Wikipedia page, but I recommend the first link). If you stick to just years from 1900 onwards it’s very simple. Could be a geeky ice-breaker at parties to tell people what day they were born on.

I’m fairly certain I remember a TV one-off in the 1980s where some unfortunate autistic man was subjected to a “Mastermind“-style interrogation. The only thing this poor man could do was tell the day of the week for any date. Probably he’d stumbled upon this method …

Sometimes, a spontaneous evening can turn out to be the best night of your life. Accepting a last-minute invitation, agreeing to join a friend at a party you haven’t been invited to – these can be the moments that change your life forever.

Or they can just be frickin’ weird.

Yesterday I got a call from a friend who lives nearby. I’d been planning a quiet night in watching Strictly Come Dancing; she wanted to know if I’d like to go to a ‘Christian singles party’ with her housemate, who was a little nervous to go alone. I said yes. I felt like the soul of spontaneity. I even convinced myself that there was something destined about it. After all, I’d been invited out on a Saturday night and I didn’t have already have plans. What were the chances?*

When I met up with T, I asked her where we were headed. She pulled a small scrap of paper – the corner of an envelope – from her jeans pocket, and peered at it. ‘Somewhere near Piccadilly Circus,’ came the reassuringly vague reply.

I asked her what kind of party it was. She wasn’t sure. Who was organising it? She didn’t know. So I asked T how she’d heard about the party. She said she had googled the phrase ‘Christian singles’ and this had come up. All she had was a mobile phone number, the address of an Italian restaurant in the West End, and the promise of dancing.

The journey to the restaurant wasn’t any more promising. Our bus was only halfway into town when it came across the kind of gridlock that suggests a ravenous monster/giant tidal wave is on the loose. We didn’t move for half an hour and one by one the rest of the passengers left the bus (presumably to their imminent, gory deaths). We crept towards our destination a few inches at a time; after an hour, the only people left on the bus, we both admitted that if we’d been going to this party alone, we’d already have turned around and headed home.

But we’re made of strong stuff. One hour late, we arrived at the restaurant and the maitre d’ bustled up to us, trying to show us to a table. ‘We’re here for the party’ said T. ‘Which one?’ he asked with a hint of impatience.

‘Er, we don’t actually know the name…’

‘It’s a, erm, group event…’

He leaned in confidentially.

‘Speed dating, yes?’

Ah. So that was what we were coming to. We followed him down a narrow staircase into the basement…

*Pretty good actually.