Once on the first of December I said I do. Then eight years later on a December first I learned a new word. It was December 1, 1998. We (my first wife and I) approached the Dr’s. office with a mixture of hope and dread. On the one hand we could not believe it could possibly happen to us, on the other we knew something was very wrong inside her body.

They had already told us there was a rather large spot on her left lung, but we were hoping it was a mucus plug, a benign anything, or some crazy artifact; we longed to hear words of comfort and have the good Dr. smile and say we had nothing to worry about. Instead he was about as serious as any human I have ever encountered.

He sat down and said, “The biopsy has returned. I’m afraid I have some bad news for you. Turning to Lena he said, “You have an adenocarcinoma.” It was both a clinical term and a statement of finality. At some level I had already accepted the fact that Lena would die, as a large spot on the lung spells big trouble. But I could not comprehend that this horrible adeno… whatever was now our reality.

I was at a loss for words. Lena asked in a very weak voice, “Is that like lymphoma?” naming what was probably the only technical name for cancer that she knew. Dr. E. sadly shook his head and said, “If only it was.” Then I knew that my worst fears would come true. Dr. E. was telling us, barring a miracle, this was the beginning of the end. He promised to put us in touch with an Oncologist and ushered us to the door. The whole thing took about 15 minutes.

We were stunned, numb, confused, scared, and trying to act normal in front of all the people in the waiting area. We still had to pay and fill out some papers. As we stood in line trying to act Ok, Lena said she didn’t feel very well, and suddenly began to collapse. I managed to get her to a chair and get someone to help as she lost consciousness. I have no idea what happened to the paperwork. And with that, the blur of what went on to become December 1998 began.

So on that December 1, I learned a new word, a deadly word: adenocarcinoma. It wasn’t clinical to me. It was personal! This word referred to my loved one.

On this December 1, I think back to that one. And I vow to learn, and use, other kinds of words; words that words that lift up my wife and family, words that communicate life and love, words that express appreciation and support, words that bring joy and laughter, words that inspire hope and desire, words that, as the scriptures teach us, are like honey.

While adneocarcinoma was thrust uninvited into my life, these other words are mine to go after, mine to share, mine to learn and use.

Grant this O Lord.
Peace,
Leon

Check out his ambiance!

The more you think about it, the deeper you go, the more you can come to the conclusion that the first date is this weird and unfair experience. Yes, first impressions are always important (people love talking about that) but to knowingly be tested like that for a job that actually has little connection to the setting of a first date, it’s a little scary.

Actually, I feel that having faith in a Higher Being while dating is what makes the first date tolerable at all. If you believe that what is supposed to happen, will happen, you can relax, do your best (in my opinion that means being yourself, being honest and trying to be in the moment which, btw, doesn’t include imagining being married to the person) and see what happens.

So, what is the purpose of the first date?

I will assume here that you aren’t going on a random date with your mom’s friend’s cousin’s brother-in-law who you said yes to without any discrimination because you think that it’s important to say yes to every guy offered to you. I assume you do discriminate and ask questions ahead of time, trying to make sure that the basics fit before you go out.

Maybe the point of the date, then, is to just get a feel for the other person. As Vera put it, to check out the other person’s “ambiance.”

What is your goal on a first date?

P.S. This whole topic brings us to another question: Should people have a two-date rule, that they always go out on two dates with the person they’re set up with? A story for another time…

Photo by 111 Emergency at flickr.

i am riding home from dinner with you. dinner where i felt the distance as soon as i walked into the paradox cafe and imagined that it was just because i hadn’t seen you in weeks, that we had just recharged all that nervousnewcrush energy. i am riding home down belmont then morrison then 20th then fremont then 10th. feeling very portland queer at the moment; the gossip on my broken headphones, a slight mist over my glasses making me wish i had tiny little wipers on the lenses, a 2.50 dollar microbrew warming my belly from the first bar i went to upon my arrival in portland. dead guy ale. our first beers in this city.  the excitement turned s’s dead guy hangover the next day. but tonight my tender tranny heart is twinging after your decision. “i don’t think i can go on dates with you anymore.” my frustration at the inevitable.

so instead i am thinking of the way my muscles feel when i bike. i am thinking that the day i take my shot, the thigh i inject into feels more sore than the other one, feels like it’s straining more against jeans and bones.  instead i am thinking about my bladder. i am thinking how hot it feels, pressing against all of my internal organs, pressing against my bike seat.  instead i am thinking about how if this were chicago i wouldn’t be on a bike, i would be walking from the L platform, squatting in an alley, pressure released. i am thinking how i don’t do that in portland, pee in public.  i am thinking of the one place of public urination in my time in portland, some half alley half driveway in the pearl, off some street i can’t recall, because i don’t know most of the streets on the westside.  i am thinking of chicago, of missing it after five-hundred-and-one-pages of reading crossing california and five-hundred-and-one-pages of rogers park references and five-hundred-and-one-pages of northside chicago jewish culture and familiar sounding names and prayers and food.  i am thinking about how fucking much i like the new gossip album. i am thinking how portlandqueercliche that is or maybe how portlandqueercliche it would be if i turned my nose up at it, had seen them before they were cool, had knownsomeonewho’dknownsomeone who one of their old songs, the classic songs, was written about.  i am thinking how your friend described the album as if one had opened a door in a gay club. i am thinking about how the album manages to bridge the gap between throaty riot grrl growl and ass-shaking, faggy, club beats. i am thinking this album might be a really good musical representation of my gender.  i am thinking how great it would be to have a joint to smoke when i got home, how romantic that sounds. i am thinking i will go home and recline in my bed and write about how great zie looked tonight and how much i wanted to kiss zir and how my tender tranny heart is feeling dejected and my testosterone charged sex drive is feeling disappointed and i will listen to mournful, folky music with guitars and whiskey smooth voices and i will smoke a joint. i am thinking how good i am at not thinking about you, but rather thinking about how i will write about not thinking about you. i am thinking this is dissociative behavior.  i am thinking thank god i’m home and i can finally pee.

I just noticed, but I will be approaching my three year anniversary, for, if not my WordPress blog, but my whole entire blogging career! As to whether I’ll celebrate or not, I choose the latter. It isn’t all that important, anyway. I thought I’d like to point it out anyway as a means of some useless information.

I took a break from internet dating. My personal life was in overload and I figured that I would get into more trouble if I did not pay my bills vs. surfing the net for my future husband.

My internet searches usually involve a radius of 50 miles. But, on this given day I decided to think outside that restriction and corresponded with a cute dimpled man in a state closer to FL than NJ. What did I have to lose?

We corresponded. Texted. IM’d on Facebook. I really do not like to “friend” potential dating prospects on Facebook. But, in this case made an exception.

My suitor emailed me and said he would be in town for a conference and suggested dinner. I was really looking forward to it. I met him at his hotel and we ate in the lobby. He did not have a car and I was not comfortable allowing a stranger into my car.

As we entered the restaurant, my suitor immediately talked about the benefits of how wonderful the people from the south are and engaged the hostess in the conversation. She was rather flirty and when she brought us to our table, I naturally sat down and he continued standing trying to find pictures of the trees in his backyard on his cell phone. The Hostess continued the conversation and when she left to seat another person, she said, “I’ll be right back.” And, sure enough, in quicktime she was. I felt she overstepped her bounds and she should have left us to dine instead of flirting with my date.

My date, J, was very nice and outgoing. Almost a little too outgoing. I was not sure whether to be charmed or scared.

No sooner had we gotten to the table than he pulled out an 8″ flat cutout of a photo (pasted onto cardboard) of a woman named, Mary Ellen. He insisted on taking a pic of Mary Ellen with the restuarant as the background and then emailed it to her. He told me there were good friends.

Eventually, the hostess returned to her job and my date sat down. We no sooner got our menus than J insisted that he take a pic of Flat Mary Ellen reading the menu while telling me they were very close friends.

Ok, this was sort of cute the first time. And, I can understand how friends can be silly together. But this “gag” was wearing very, very thin – almost as thin as Flat Mary Ellen.

Our drinks arrived and J again pulled flat Mary Ellen from his pocket and took her pic by the salt pepper saying, “we are emotionally very close.”

I frowned and was perplexed and had an overwhelming desire to plunge flat Mary Ellen into J’s Guinness and say, “look, Flat Mary Ellen is drowning in the beer. Quick, take a pic.” I refrained. Barely!

At this point, J kept his cell phone out and giggled as each emailed photo illicited a text from a not so flat Mary Ellen.

This was bordering on rude but our dinner was ordered and I was hungry.

When the food arrived, our conversation was again interrupted by J pulling flat Mary Ellen out and putting her by his plate – pretending to eat his dinner. At this point he said, “I met her on the same dating site as you. Actually, I guess you could say we are dating. I guess. We have great chemistry and get a long so well. We are friends … dating … I don’t know what we are … but I have never met anyone like her. Actually, I invited her to come on the trip but she couldn’t make it.”

Say *%!@# what? I thought.

Then why the hell are you on this dating site everyday and asking another girl to dinner?” I wanted to blurt out, but regrettably did not.

What kills me is that J told the real Mary Ellen that he was meeting me for dinner. At least he was truthful … to HER. But, as I reflect on it, I think he was very disrespectful towards this woman with whom he “had great chemistry with and had never met anyone like her before.”

I had other things to do than to be a “better option to eating alone” on this night. I also deserved better and deserved the same honesty that he gave to Mary Ellen.

Mariann wanted to dump flat Mary Ellen into the beer and then dump it on his lap. But writer Mariann had to see where this was going. Hey … I had a blog to write!!

J eventually went on about how his last girlfriend broke up with him because she thought he was having an emotional affair with a friend of his (who he dated briefly) of 25 years. And, I am thinking … his ex was probably dead on the money with her analysis.

It did not help that after his 2nd beer, J kept pulling out Flat Mary Ellen and called her … yep … “Flat Mariann.” I wanted to correct him, but I just smirked.

I sure am glad I am not his “Flat Mariann.”

Thanks for listening!!
Mariann
www.lifebytesbook.com
lifebytesrealstories.wordpress.com

Dear Self,

Esme, you need to pull your act together.  What is your deal?

OK, so your dating life up until now has been…interesting.  Not many people can have your experiences.  Some you bring on yourself.  Others completely blindsided you.  And now, you are having a mini panic-attack.  For what?  Well, I’m guessing for a couple of reasons.

Date number two.  Ah yes…it has been a while since we have been out on a date number two.  You waited so long for New Guy to ask you out again.  And when he did, you were just excited.  Now, you are realizing date number two has a bit of committment attached to it.  You said yes because you like him.  Because you want to see where this can go.  Because he intrigues you.  Because he just may be as nice as he comes across, and you crave that.  But there is that committment issue…is date number two necessarily a committment?  How is seeing someone a second time equaling a long-term relationship in your mind?  I know you have been burned in the past, but it is time to move forward.  Can’t you just look at it as getting to know him better?  If you freak out over this, you may ruin a good thing!

The second issue I think you are having?  You are completely weirded out about this Mr. Hottie curve ball.  Why now?  Why does he suddenly want to go out on a date?  What is wrong with the old arrangement…hey, you free, come over arrangement.  I know that is the kind of relationship you crave.  No attachments.  No strings.  Therefore no hurt feelings later down the road.  You both get what you need, and you move on.

But how long can you do that for, Esme?  How long can you keep having these meaningless relationships?  Maybe it is time to give someone a chance…

Be brave!

Love, Esme

Age: 28

Hair: Red

Height 5′4

Method: Wearing Her Down

Advancement:  The Sitcom Shoot down

Me and D have one of the weirdest friends/non-relationships/love/hate kind of things. It all boils down to the simple fact that we could/will never remotely get our shit together. Either I have a girlfriend, she has a girlfriend, I’m not looking for a relationship, she’s a basket case, or we spend all our time on the phone together, it’s a revolving relationship. It’s been this way for years, and I get a little sick of it every few months. It also works out that our schedules never mesh, so we go through these fits without actually having to see each other.  Last night, in a fit of drunken spontaneity, she randomly calls and asks me if she can come over, just to get a bottle of wine. Luckily, I don’t live in a place where such a feat is impossible at 10pm at night.

So she comes over, and I haven’t seen her in well over a year, and it was just weird. It was awkward as hell, so she immediately asks to crack open the wine. We also decide that we are gonna watch some Scrubs, because she likes to joke that we are like JD/Elliot in the on/off again kind of stuff. So we are sitting there on the couch with a pretty decent mutual buzz going on, she’s cuddled against my chest, and I just decide to go for it. I turn, kiss her, and immediately she pulls away. And this freaks me the fuck out, because I’d never seem to misread a situation more. She tells me that we should wait, but I become paranoid, that I did something wrong, and I don’t think she likes me at all and seeing me in person has completely complicated the situation.

But she then proceeds to keep cuddling with me, holding my hand, putting her head in my chest, until she falls asleep. Eventually I wake her up, because I know she had to get home, and I walk her to her car. It’s that slow kind of walk where we are just chatting and being flirty, and out of nowhere she goes, “I swear to God if you try and kiss me, I’ll kick your ass”. And this screamed of the kind of time where a girl would say the exact opposite of what she means, but it rattled me enough to not bother going for it, even still wanting to.

Geeez, this song’s been stuck in my head the whole day cuz I happened to hear it in some shop.

Today’ well spent with my favourite boy♥ Days like today makes me feel like the happiest and luckiest girl on this planet (;  I hope there’ll be more dates like today in future love even though its so simple

It’s amazing how the same love who makes me laugh, can also break my heart. Sigh.

Love my girlies <3

Happy 4 Months, Happy Holiday and Happy Birthday Dear Dear!!

You’re the reason I wake up with a smile everyday..

Date and Walnut Balls
2 c dried dates
½ c walnuts
juice of 1 orange
½ tsp caramel essence
coconut for rolling

Place dates, walnuts, orange juice and essence in food processor, process until
forms a chunky paste.
Roll small balls in coconut.
Will keep a few days in fridge or freeze.

Dear Mr. Hottie,

So in the last month, we have talked, remained friends.  At some point, you finally admitted that you have been seeing someone.  I told you I was happy for you!  Everyone deserves to find that special someone if that is what they are looking for.

I have been having car problems.  In addition to being a hunky firefighter, you are also a certified mechanic.  So…you were the first person I contacted.  I sent you a text message yesterday, not wanting to call you at an inopportune moment: I know you’re busy, but how much for a new power steering pump?  Mine is going out…need a new one.

About 4 hours later you gave me a call.  As usual, your baritone voice made me weak in the knees.  You asked some questions about my car, told me it probably was my power steering.  You said the parts won’t be much, but the labor will be expensive.  Of course.  Then you said this: But I will make you a deal.

Me: OK, shoot.

You: I will hook you up on one condition.  Fix your car, no cost for labor, if you let me take you out.

Me: Fine.  We go out for drinks all of the time.  Deal.

You: No.  I mean out.  On a date.  As in you dress up nice, I come pick you up. We treat it as a date.

I paused here.  Date?  You?  Not like hey come over, but a date?

Me: What about your girlfriend, did you forget about her?  And how do you know I am not dating someone right now?

You: I no longer have a girlfriend.  And I know you aren’t dating someone, at least not seriously.  I am ready to have some fun, and you are the person I want to have fun with.  Esme, you and I both know you are not going to turn me down.  We are way too attracted to each other.  And when we have sex, it is amazing.  And I also know this about you.  Even if you were dating someone…you still wouldn’t turn me down.  After the kind of marriage you had, you are way too interested in having fun and playing the field.  I know you won’t settle down and commit until you absolutely have to.

Damn.  Damn, damn, damn. You got me…I can’t turn you down.  I can’t even give you a half-hearted attempt.  And I am afraid you are right…I don’t think I could ever turn you down.  I called you cocky, and you chuckled.

Me: You are so confident about that, aren’t you?

You: I get back into town on Tuesday.  Be prepared to dress nice.  I will call you with a date and time.  Bye Esme.

I stared at my phone when the line went dead.  My heart was racing a little, and I had to slow my breathing.  I knew, without looking in the mirror, I had a ridiculous smile on my face.  I know, for a fact, this will never go anywhere.  But I love how you are just so MANLY…I like that you are cocky, it’s a turn-on.  I like that you are confident.  I like you are so positive about things.  I like that I don’t have to be that man in this relationship.  I like I don’t have to guess what is on your mind.

Oh, but this could be so much fun…

Love, Esme

It has been a little while between updates, so a thousand apologies.

The team at House Of Distinction is in preparation for a big 2010 wedding season.

We’re also hitting the airwaves shortly with a radio campaign on Hot Tomato starting this coming week, so to be sure to listen out for us.

House Of Distinction was also in the Gold Coast Bulletin on Saturday with a fun little story about Groomzillas (yes, I know who you are, but we love you any way). So delighted by the story, a reporter from Today Tonight phoned, so who knows, House of Distinction might be on a television screen near you soon.

Loved hearing all your favourite muffin varieties!! I’m a big muffin head. I blame it on my mom, who didn’t let me eat them as a small kid because I would crumble them everywhere and make a HUGE mess (don’t worry mom, you made up for it by teaching me how to make a mean chili). One muffin variety that piqued my interest were Ellie’s “kitchen sink muffins” with carrot, zucchini, raisins, banana, and walnut. Doesn’t that sound fab? Must add that to my ever-growing list of things to bake…

Moving on!

I caved and bought dark chocolate M&Ms yesterday, so you know they found their way into my breakfast cookie today.

• 1/2 cup rolled oats
• 1/2 scoop chocolate protein powder
• unsweetened shredded coconut
• 1 tbsp almond butter
• M&Ms
• splash almond milk

All mixed up, flattened out on a plate and set in the fridge overnight One of my coworkers came in a FIVE A.M. this morning while I was chowing down on my cookie. It scared the crap out of me! But it was nice to see a friendly face. Normally I’m there all by my lonesome on the weekends.

Snack was one of my chocolate banana protein bars muffins.

I put peanut butter on it last night before wrapping it up again, that’s why it looks funny. I also heated this up before eating, as that usually makes bad baked goods taste better. But it made it squeaky :\ Like, it squeaked in my teeth. It was still edible with the PB though. And surprisingly filling!!!

“Lunch” (I always put that in quotation marks because I eat it at 10am) was a smoked salmon bagel sandwich. 

I finally found decently priced local smoked salmon at my grocery store – it’s my new favourite thing! It had laughing cow cheese, mustard, onions and spinach as well. There was an orange in there too, but I trust you know what that looks like

I immediately dug into my Peanut ButterNut Squash Muffins when I got home from work.

Wait. You hear that? Oh, that’s just me tooting my own horn. *Toot toot* I’m in love with these muffins! Besides the perfect marriage of the PB and squash flavours, the texture is perfection for me. Soft, dense and a little crumbly. Nomnomnom.

Then I read a chapter of Eclipse, and proceeded to conk out for an hour. One of those naps where I just remember closing my eyes, then all of a sudden I open them and it’s an hour later. I laid around for a bit, waiting for my post-nap drowsiness to subside. Then had another snack in preparation for a long gym visit:

Bananas, dates and almond butter. I don’t always photograph it because it’s redundant, but if you’re reading about a workout on here, you can just assume I had some variation of this beforehand. Never fails me.

My gym visit today was ohsogood. I’ve been doing a combo of HIIT, upper-body weights and abs on Sundays lately, so that’s what I stuck to. Since I only ran once this past week, I decided to do all my cardio on the treadmill. I ended up with three separate variations of HIIT on the treadmill. It was awesome. I felt h-core.

Warm-up:
Walk/jogging on the treadmill for 5 minutes

HIIT:
incline = 1%
0:00-1:00 – 6.0 mph
1:00-2:00 – 6.2 mph
2:00-3:00 – 6.4 mph
3:00-4:00 – 6.2 mph
4:00-5:00 – 6.4 mph
5:00-6:00 – 6.6 mph
6:00-7:00 – 6.4 mph
7:00-8:00 – 6.6 mph
8:00-9:00 – 6.8 mph
9:00-10:00 – 6.6 mph
10:00-11:00 – 6.8mph
11:00-12:00 – 7.0 mph
12:00-13:00 – 6.8 mph
13:00-14:00 – 7.0 mph
14:00-15:00 – 7.2 mph

A1 – Wide-grip lat pulldown:
3 sets @ 55 lbs x 8

A2 – Dumbbell shoulder press:
3 sets @ 15 lbs (ea) x 8

B1 – Seated cable row:
3 sets @ 50 lbs x 8

B2 – Dumbbell bench press:
3 sets @ 20 lbs (ea) x 8

B3 – Tricep dips:
3 sets @ bw x 8

HIIT: (a la Janetha)

incline=0 – 2 min @ 5.5
incline=0.5 – 1 min @ 6.0
                       1 min @ 6.5
                       1 min @ 7.0
                       1 min @ 7.5
incline=1.0  – 1 min @ 6.0
                        1 min @ 6.5
                        1 min @ 7.0
                        1 min @ 7.5
incline=1.5 – 1 min @ 6.0
                       1 min @ 6.5
                       1 min @ 7.0
                       1 min @ 7.5
incline=2.0 – 1 min @ 6.0
                       1 min @ 6.5
                       1 min @ 7.0
                        1 min @ 7.5
incline=0 – 2 min @ 5.5

A1 – Swiss ball crunch:
3 sets @ 11 lbs x 15

A2 – Russian twists:
3 sets @ 11 lbs x 30

A3 – Reverse crunch:
3 sets @ bw x 8

HIIT:
incline = 0%
0:00-1:00 – 3.0 mph
1:00-3:00 – 3.5 mph
3:00-4:00 – 8.0 mph
4:00-6:00 – 3.5 mph
6:00-7:00 – 8.5 mph
7:00-9:00 – 3.5 mph
9:00-10:00 – 9.0 mph
10:00-12:00 – 3.5 mph
12:00-13:00 – 9.5 mph
13:00-15:00 – 3.5 mph

Cooldown:
Bah! Accidentally skipped it! I was so hungry when I finished, I ran out of the gym. But no worries, I foam rolled and stretched at home while my dinner heated up

This workout took me almost 90 minutes and I loved it! HIIT on the treadmill is so much fun, I ended up covering just over 5 miles. And Janetha, I lovelovelove your routine. I was a sweaty mess at the end of it, and I even skipped the final sprint because I knew there was more in my future.

As previously mentioned, I was ready to eat my arm off when I finished. I grabbed the quickest, most filling thing I could thing of when I got home. Frozen leftovers of moo-beef chili.

I realized I was lacking in the green department today, so I heated two big handfuls of spinach into it. Hit the spot! Just what I needed.

Final November Goals Check-In!

I cannot believe it’s almost December. Wow. This was my first month checking in every week on my goals, and it really kept me motivated. With that said, I feel I only accomplished maybe half of them. I don’t see that as a bad thing though, I may never have accomplished any of them had I not set the goals in the first place!

Have fun workouts.

Monday – Step class at the women’s gym. Sosososo fun. I LOVE this class.

Tuesday – 5 miles speedwork on the “dreadmill,” except I really enjoyed it!!! I swear, I really did I’m a sucker for intervals, they make anything fun.

Wednesday – Rest day.

Thursday – Body Pump at the gym, followed by HIIT on the elliptical. It was “meh” but got the job done.

Friday – Spun my little heart legs out in spin class. I pushed myself and it felt good!

Saturday – Rest day. Broke my quads in spin.

Sunday – HIIT extravaganza on the treadmill with some upper-body weights and abs. Best way to spend a “lazy” Sunday afternoon

I also did no yoga this week! My schedule didn’t jive with yoga classes, and I suck at getting motivated to do it at home.

Be less complacent with food.
I’m still feeling okay with this. I definitely feel like I’m “on track” and my food choices are for the most part deliberate.

Get more sleep.
Again, it’s hard to switch from early morning shifts on the weekend, to evening shifts throughout the week. But I did okay once I got into the swing of it. It’s been a few weeks since I’ve had 8 hours though…

Make it through the last month of work with a positive attitude.
My co-workers set up a going away get-together for me!! How sweet!!! I’m not incredibly close with any of them, so I’m very touched by the gesture. My schedule for this last week is going to be tough, but having that in there should make it easier

Try my best to not let anything hold me back.
Um, I registered to get my personal training certification this week. I finally followed my heart and took the plunge. I say I excelled at this goal.

Figure out a way to get into the holiday season.
I’ve been smiling at all the pretty lights that are starting to pop up I’m getting really antsy to see my family again too. Definitely feel like I’m entering December with a positive attitude.

Spend more time with my grandparents.
I really wish I did better at this one, as I only got the chance to see my Nana once. I still have two other grandparents in another city that I never get to see.

Be more honest with people.
Check and check. This goal has been on the back of my mind a lot this month. I think I moved forward a lot by being more honest with people, it’s something I’m definitely going to continue to think about and strive to do.

Look for a job.
How about got a job Albeit, it’s just another temporary gig at Starbucks. But a paycheck is a paycheck my friends.

Start playing music again.
This is my biggest fail of the month. I don’t want to push it though. I’ll start playing again when I feel inspired again.

Re-reading that, I feel pretty good about it actually. Tomorrow, I’ll do another instalment of “Things I Learned This Month” and then Tuesday will be a whole new set of goals for December!

Question of the day: What’s one thing you feel you accomplished this month?

The debut album from Tha Glitch entitled “…A Galaxy Near You” will be officially released on December 25th, 2009. The release will feature 9 new tracks as well as a re-worked track from 2008’s “Computer Error” EP. The release will be available for purchase directly from the bands website, and available for streaming on demand on select sites.

Tracklisting:
1. We Comin’
2. Low Budget No Budget
3. Starting Over
4. Anotha Night
5. Take You Home
6. How To Make Love In Outerspace
7. Nasty Girl
8. K.S. (featuring/ Staci 2.0)
9. Spaceship: Hooptie
10. Way Out There In Space

The first coyote was shot in Vermont in 1948. ( Lawrence Pyne, “Northeast’s ‘coywolves’ a product of evolution,” BFP, 11/29/09)

It’s official: I’m back on the couscous bandwagon.  Thankfully, I’m not quite as obsessed as before.  Unlike my earlier college days, I do vary my diet a little; I also eat pumpkin pies, apple crumb cakes and cranberry sauce.  I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again: couscous salads are so flexible, you can add whatever you have lurking in your fridge drawers and it’ll probably make a good meal if you spice it up enough.  That said, I’ve been making several grain & veggie salads of late and this one really stood out and, despite the fact that it provided a huge Tupperware of leftovers, two days later there wasn’t a semolina granule to be found.  What made this salad different was the spicing.  I didn’t skimp with salt (3/4  teaspoon for the entire salad), chili powder, coriander, cumin, garam masala and cinnamon.  I took a riff from my previous Moroccan Couscous dish with the sweet-tastes (I even added a splash of orange juice at the end).  But I also wanted it to have a bit of a kick, like a chocolate mole sauce, so I included chile peppers, chile powder and a smidgen of cumin for warmth.

The best and most unusual part of this salad was the fact that the couscous played a minor role.  Instead of eating COUSCOUS flaked with a few specks of parsley and a lentil or two, the couscous was the medium to eat nuts, dried fruit and savory, spiced veggies.  Each spoonfull had chew and crunch.

I tried this salad hot, room-temperature and cold.  My favorite was room-temperature.  Conversely, my dad’s favorite was piping hot and my mom loved it cold.  As my cousin Emily said, we’re like the Three Bears.

Ingredients:
1/3 cup pine nuts
1/3 cup pecans, chopped

1 cup whole-wheat couscous
1 cup chopped dates and dried apricots

1 large onion, white or yellow
5 sweet chile peppers (or 1 large bell pepper), thinly sliced
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon chili powder
1/2 teaspoon ground coriander
1/2 teaspoon garam masala
3/4 teaspoon sea salt
generous amount of ground pepper
1/2  cup dried beans (I boiled a 12-bean mix from a market bulk bin)
olive oil
1 tablespoon orange juice, optional

Methods:

1.  If using dried beans, measure 1/2 cup and boil according to cooking time.  Skim off any white foam that rises to the top during cooking.

2.  In an ungreased sauce pan, toast pine nuts and pecans on medium-high, approximately 5-7 minutes.  Pinenuts burn easily, so keep close watch.

3.  Boil amount of water according to couscous instructions.  Remove from heat.  Stir in whole-wheat couscous and chopped, dried fruit.  Cover for five minutes, then fluff.  Set aside.

4.  In a skillet, heat 1-2 tablespoons olive oil.  Add chopped onion and cook until wilted and slightly browned, about 5 minutes.   Add peppers, cook another 3-4 minutes.  Add generous pinch of sea salt and spices.   (Don’t skimp here; remember that these ingredients will flavor the entire salad.)  When cooked, remove from heat.  Toss with couscous salad.  Add more olive oil to taste, pepper, salt if necessary and smidgen of OJ, if using.

5.  When beans are cooked, drain and add to salad.  Toss.  Serve warm or at room temperature.

Eva moved to Silicon Valley to start anew. She had
just flunked out of college and was basically disowned
by her parents. Her friend back home had set her up
with what he said was a great buy on a real nice
starter home. She purchased it, sight unseen, and
started out on her new life.

When she finally arrived to her new digs after days of
travelling, she had discovered her “good buy” was a
big rip off. Sure, the land was great…. and nearly
entirely undeveloped. There was a small house (more
like a shed) on the front edge of the property. It
literally was 1 room, no furnishings or plumbing.
Eva purchased some second hand furniture and set out to explore the
town, terrified she would have to head back to
Riverblossom Hills.

Eva immediately fell in love with the town. It was so
warm and sunny, and she always loved the beach. She
spent the day exploring and finished off by stopping
by the local gym. Eva knew exactly how she could avoid
moving back home! She would get a membership and just
use their facilities! Perfect!

After a rough sleep in her second hand bed, Eva set out
to find some work. She had enough experience during
her failed attempt doing a lab technician course that
she was able to land a job at the local hospial. It
was pretty sketchy, donating organs, but it paid
enough to keep her gym membership paid as well as her
cell phone.

For her first few weeks in town, Eva didn’t have a lot
of time to socialize. Aside from keeping long hours at
the hospital, Eva basically rushed between work, home,
and the gym to keep her basic needs covered.

Although the food was never good, her gym membership
covered complimentary use of the kitchen facilities
there. Eva made sure to make use of it every day.

There was one thing, though, Eva didn’t make use of
very often. Being a bit clumsy, she didn’t ever really
get the hang of using any of the actual gym equipment.

After a few weeks, Eva had adjusted a schedule that
allowed her to do a bit of dating. A string of
horrible dates ensued.

Eva couldn’t believe how rude people in town were!
Her boss had set her up with this guy who greeted
her by slinging a barrage of insults. What a loser!

At this point, Eva was really starting to feel like
she had made a huge mistake making this move to this
snobby, shifty town. She went home that night utterly
discouraged.

The next morning, Eva made her way to the gym. She had
no idea that her life was going to change forever.
And then, while she was trying to fit in some TV before
the carpool for work arrived, she saw him.

Mark your calendar – Sunday, June 13th is the next Heart Song Choir benefit concert.

Age: 27

Hair: Blonde

Height: 5′5

Method: Serendipity

Advancement: Nada

I really hate the universe sometimes, I’ve had some potentially awesome things go down this week and then it tossed me another awesome curve ball…I’m waiting for about seven other shoes to drop. I almost don’t want to write about this, because I don’t even believe this kind of crap actually happens.

When I go home to suburbia, I usually hit the same places. I go to the diner by house for bagels, the coffee joint for mid-day coffee, the Irish Pub for drinks with my high school friends. I’ve done this more times than I care to admit. I don’t even think about it, I just do it every single time automatically. It’s nice to immerse yourself in creature comforts you don’t normally get. And of all the diners in all the towns in all the world, she had to step into mine.

I didn’t even know who it was. I’ve built this girl up in my mind so much, and it’d been so long since I’d actually seen her that I had no clue who she was. She is actually the one who approached me. She asked if she knew me from somewhere. It only took about fifteen bad guesses until she asked if I ever went to a certain hospital. I was like yeah…wait, are you the one that gave me a sonogram.

The story behind this was I had a liver problem (go figure) a few years and had to essentially get sonograms regularly to check my shit out. Basically to sum it up, we had a nice little rapport going but back in those days I lacked any sort of guts. There was a lot of BS reasons I tell myself to feel better about it, but it essentially boils down to the guts-ectomy.

So we talked a little, and I’m pretty sure my awkwardness over having bumped into her came off as disinterest. I was honestly just shocked. So were talking and she’s telling me how her grandmother lives a few blocks away and how she’s just stopping in for some donuts, and she had to get going. I just smiled, “Oh, Okay. Have a nice day”

I didn’t get her number for entirely different reasons this time. I really don’t want to date anybody right now. I don’t really wanna have the cutesy meetings, the neurosis, the hurt, the long night phone calls. I don’t want any of it right now. I’m far too mixed up and far too bizarrely committed to this. She just might be my savior, but if it’s meant to happen…I don’t think now is the time.