Vivica must really be on 50 nutsack after the way he disrespected her,called her  a stalker and perceived to make a damn fool out of vivica. well i guess vivica have forgave  50 because she is in his new video (do you think about me?)  Come on vivica you can’t tell that’s a message to you? Look at vivica lookin all in love AGAIN

This is a line from the song from ‘Already Gone’ by Kelly Clarkson. I really like her voice and personality, whatever I have seen so far. She’s so real, no plastic, no unimaginably and unachievable shrunk waistline (i like this ), and she has this sense of real feel to her, like she’s just a girl like anyone of us and happens to be a good singer too.

Anyways, so not that I’m crying or anything, but yes it’s not the best thing to have to tell someone that you don’t want what you share anymore. It’s always better when its mutual na? hmm…

Guess what? Yup! I haven’t told New Guy this yet. I haven’t been talking much to him for last two days and when I did speak to him he did say that he missed me. I miss talking to him to, but it’s just the ‘thing you’ve been doing and then you stop’ type missing.  I know I overdid many things and even when I was doing it all I felt I was always on the safer side of things, but I slipped into a hole dug where I need a hand to pull me out of it and then I can’t give my hand to New Guy to come out. He has to get out on his own.

If you look at it, it’s not so complicated, but still I’m very bad at shaking my hand off and walking away. I think you all know that (by the number of posts on this context).

So? How to do it? How do I tell him ‘we’ll only be friends. Forget about whatever happened, lets become friends only.’? How do you end when the feeling is not mutual?  

And you know what, he’s not that crazy about it me either, just that I think he wants to hang on something he found after a long time and then it would all be empty space, and also its difficult to just meet someone and get along and that to someone as sweet as me. But he’s not crazy about me and neither am I about it. So why this hesitation to say to move on? Why aren’t we both being upfront and trying to say it means something when it doesn’t. I know he wouldn’t want to end it(whatever this is) , but I want to.

How do I say it, so he’s not hurt or doesn’t feel like I’m shaking my hands off him? Or maybe,  how do I tell him to move away, take his steps back and then we’ll become friends again?

 P.S: spoke to him last night for almost 2 hours, almost like earlier. ok! like earlier. But no more. no more talking.

Some help please…

The other day a girl told me that if she doesn’t date, she will die.  Wow.  So what…? Is dating now this magic pill that keeps some people alive?  She continued, “I hang out with teenagers all day.  Scary.”  I dunno, I think teaching high school can be fun.  I mean, come on.  Today to get the students using the language we got 4 manequins from the sports med teacher and played “Patient Rush”.  It’s this high energy game of patient-doctor-prognosis…the best part is they did in the target language.  And they pay me to come up with this stuff???

Ok, but back to dating.  Actually, as you may have noticed if you’ve read my blog, I have precious little time to date although I enjoy it…mostly.  But my mind, nor my heart are really there.  So I don’t really notice if I am dating or not.  If it happens, great.  If not, great.

Sometimes guys have their lists and apparently I must be a little bit of an ‘aud’ity  .  So here’s some reasons guys have crossed me off their lists.  If I don’t listen to their music style—I’m off the list.  If I don’t straighten my hair all the time—off the list.  If I don’t spend every free minute with them—off the list.  If I’m not confident every second—off the list.  If I ever disagree with them—off the list.  If I don’t wear the color scheme they want—off the list (no joke, there’s a guy that had a color scheme for me to wear every date we went on).  If I have an MA—off the list.  Too old, too young….In other words, I haven’t met the right guy yet, and frankly having been through all the wrong fits, I’m a little apathetic.  Ok, I’ll admit it.  I’ve crossed some guys off my list, too.  For me it’s not about being married or dating someone.  It’s about being happy.  If I’m happier single, why would I date a guy?

So the moral of this story is: the other girl will die if she doesn’t date.  I will die if I don’t do something else besides date.  And please, boys.  If any of you are reading this.  Please don’t have a stroke or get a disease that won’t go away, or be in a fist fight with your roommate.  Just date someone else.  Really.  You’ll save me a lot of trouble crossing you off my list.  I am currently a very content girl.  Everything’s not perfect, but it’s fine.

10. Romance helps to create an intimacy level in which you can be accepted and valued. Many guys go through life never understanding what spiritual intimacy between two people feels like. Some are scared of it, thinking that if anyone truly knew them deeply, they would not be loved. But romancing your lady opens you up…if you let it. Otherwise, it’s just going through the motions. But even going through the motions of romance is better for your relationship than no motions at all.

11. You will be understood by your lady. You will be judged ultimately by your ACTIONS, not your thoughts. What you value comes across in your ACTIONS. If you value her, you will show it. There are other things in your life that you value and you take time to care for…like your car, your golf clubs or your gun collection. Don’t make the mistake of caring for inanimate objects more than the person who you SAY you love.

12. You will save money. Marriage counseling or relationship counseling is expensive. Divorce is even more expensive. A little romance might keep you out of the counseling office or divorce court. And, face it…if you go to counseling, the counselor is going to tell you to be romantic. Save the money and do it now.

Mastering this stuff will help you become a Great Lover.

My body is not a wonderland. It’s not even a wonder-town. Not a wonder-port. It’s a mess. Case in point: pilates. I have just recently discovered that I stand and walk like a duck. My brother and mom have always told me so – and an Italian lady did once impersonate my walk and say I waddled in three different languages – but I never really saw what they meant. But now I work at a pilates studio, and since the goods are free, I have been taking advantage. Doing pilates in front of a mirror is humbling. Not only do my feet instinctively face the wrong way, but turning them all the way in – or what feels like all the way in – only actually brings them pointing forward. FML. I’m loving the pilates, though. I have a visible triceps! Wow!

I’m also working on the cardio side of things, meaning I’m trying to actually do some. A woman was looking at me really funny at the gym today. I was thinking it may have been because I released a silent-but-deadly fart or something (seriously, do other people fart on the elliptical? It’s kind of a problem.), but it turns out that it was because of my workout routine. You see, I tend to pretend that I am in a music video when I am on the elliptical. I forget I’m in public – or sometimes I just don’t care – and start mouthing the words to songs like I’m Beyonce or Mariah, not that Mariah has ever stepped foot on an elliptical. The worst part is that I actually sometimes do the “diva hand,” specifically if it’s a Destiny’s Child song or something like that. I’m surprised I’m single. You?

Speaking of single, there are a few ongoing conversations happening on the DS. And one new one has even landed himself on MSN/Facebook. But since he will likely be reading this, all I will say is that he seems pretty sweet. And cute. I do have a weakness for Italians, though. Also, I’m pretty sure he’s in the mafia.

I will try and write in the A.M., crazy bedfellows.

BM

PS: Lady GaGa on Gossip Girl? I hate her face. So much.

So I’m reading this other blog about this poor woman’s situation/relationship, or monumental waste of time, or science experiment, I guess it really depends on how creative you wanna get with what you call it, and it seems that there are just entirely too many assholes out there and not enough real men who are boyfriend/husband material.  Pffft.   And then when you add to the one or two who might be, a crazy, somewhat skanky, certainly insane, self-appointed bodyguard (read as deluded “friend” who really wants to be more than a “friend” to this guy, but she’s either, too fat, too ugly, or too unhinged to be GF material to the poor sap),  and the decent guy pickings, get even slimmer because come on now, who wants to deal with a whacked out friend who fancies herself more than that to your potential man??   I’m sorry that’s just one too many pieces of Samsonite and I can be pretty tolerant for the right man as can most women.  Now by right and decent guy I’m talking about the upright, non-knuckledragging, non-cretin, who can dress himself without the help of Grrranimals and does not, in fact, still live in mom’s basement, and has a paying job that does not require a hair net and the phrase, “do you want fries with that.”   Oh, and lets not forget the ability to string words together to make a coherent sentence, minus the use of the words, “dude”, “homie”, “bee-atch”, “gangsta”, “pimp”, or “aight”.   I mean come on now WTF does that mean, “aight”?  It’s like one of those words that sounds like it’s slang for a body part.  Oh, and lets not forget the ability to be able to wear his pants somewhere in the vicinity of his waist and not down around his knees with his underwear showing because they just saw whoever the newest gangsta rapper is and they think it’s cool, and this is nevermind the fact that they are 30-something or worse 40-something, because then you are dealing with all of the above AND a really fucking bad hair piece that looks like something my cat hawked up after a really enthusiastic licking of himself.  I’m telling you dating in the 21st century let alone finding a relationship with any merits is near impossible.  ACK.

You know god help us all, at this rate if the dating situation doesn’t get any more favorable for women, if 2012 doesn’t make the human race extinct, we’re gonna become extinct anyways because women won’t be doing the dirty with much other than the latest, and greatest Rabbit on the vibrator market because actually finding a guy you can stomach sleeping with will have become an exercise in futility.   People, my strongest and best advice, BUY A FUCKLOAD of stock in Duracell… ya’ll stand to make a fortune in the New World… 

Approximately a week ago I had my first date with Mohawk.  Since that first date we’ve texted a lot and seen eachother a few times.  It’s been a lot of fun and I think I like him.  So whats the problem? (And you know I wouldn’t be writing about it unless there were a problem)

The problem is apparently he likes me a LOT.  At the end of our third date he pulled out of a kiss and the following ensued.

Mohawk: “I love you”

Me: silent trying not to look terrified thinking “you don’t even KNOW me”

Mohawk: “what?”

Me: “nothing”

Mohawk: silent and I have NO IDEA what he was thinking

Me: “what?”

Mohawk: “nothing”

And that was the end of the evening.  My plan was is to ignore the “L” word that  obviously was said in error because I have a good time with this guy and want to see where this whole dating thing goes.

Then the next day he invited me to watch him bowl.  Yeah have I mentioned he bowls…on a league…so NOT my type at all.  So after I agree he mentions I’ll be meeting his mother who bowls in the same league (different team).  Yep met the parents after 1 week of dating.  AWKWARD. (btw bowling alleys smell like ass just one more reason I don’t bowl).

Today we reached the trifecta.  He refered to himself as my boyfriend. Which I guess isn’t that bad considering the other two, but it has me on edge.  WHO DOES THAT?

Who defines a relationship after a week, but moreso who does it in their own head and just assumes the other party is onboard!?

I am not interested in dating the “female” version of myself. My approach as a single male doesn’t include seeking out available coaches that I can sweep off their feet during the off-season.

However, I have read several studies that concluded it is human nature to be attracted to people who’s opinions and characteristics you find appealing, which naturally you’ve acquired a taste for since you possess many of them.

Furthermore, it has also been uncovered that many couples have corresponding levels of intelligence, come from similar socio-economic backgrounds and share many of the same moral and cultural beliefs.

All of this makes perfect sense since it seems obvious that people would want to be associated, particularly in a romantic sense, with people they got along with and were similar too.

Upon quickly studying myself it is clear that most of my friends come from similar suburban upper-middle class backgrounds and shared ideologies. When I look back at my relationship history there is a similar pattern since we were all well educated and had strong professional aspirations as well as similar intelligence levels.

When I really think about the most significant ideological conflict that Barbara and I had it was probably the fact that she was a White Sox fan while I live and die for the Cubs. Other than that we were pretty much cut from the same mold.

However, I was recently wondering what I would think if the next person I dated turned out to have political beliefs that opposed my own. Since I am a pretty politically active person, with well-defined opinions and values, our disagreement could pose a number of combustible problems.

I am specifically referring to the conflict that would arise if she turned out to be a “Fox News” girl since I am an “MSNBC” kinda guy.

I honestly don’t think I could be in a relationship with a person whose personal politics were in stark opposition to my own. Its not as clear cut as me believing that my political opinions are right, and those who don’t fall in line behind me are wrong, but to an extent it is.

I’m just being honest that I have strong social convictions that I feel serve the best interests of society, such as providing all Americans with affordable health care, a woman’s right to choose and protecting our individual privacy. The justifications presented by those who oppose these stances just don’t compute in my head and therefore I don’t understand their rationale.

However I am not writing this blog to promote my political opinions since if there is one thing I strongly believe it is that everyone has the right to express their thoughts, beliefs and ideas, whether or not they conflict with mine, because I deeply respect their right to feel that way.

When it comes down to it I don’t need someone who’s politics are 100% in sink with my own, but I also don’t think I’m open-minded enough to look past our political differences and engage in a meaningful relationship if we didn’t at least agree on a majority of controversial political topics.

When push comes to shove I’m willing to stick to my own set of talking points, and am declaring here and now that until I find a nice cute girl who has a liberal social agenda I’ll be forced to remain in my relationships with a spunky lesbian (Rachel Maddow) and arrogant former sportscaster (Keith Olbermann).

In the end these relationships may not be sexual but after all there are more important things in life than sex. Sometimes you have to draw a line in the sand and add “political affiliation” to the list of things that you are looking for in partner even if it means I will never get the chance to sleep with a gun toting, pro-life, fiscally conservative creationist.

And I’m completely okay with that.

I am so happy. I just got broken up with. Wait, what? Ok, this person decided to stop dating me, and I’m really happy.  I can’t really call it a breakup, because there was never a relationship, talk, exclusivity, all those social details, etc., etc.  Wait, what?  I’m happy to be dumped.   Somehow that seems counterintuitive, but this is the lightest I have felt in a long time.

I’m a person at risk…of falling into a relationship

because every happy person is in one
because you need to be in a relationship to have sex
because it is just one of those experiences that you need
because that’s the only way to have true intimacy

Oh lies. Sometimes I cannot tell the difference between fear and intuition. I wanted to be in a relationship so badly–to prove that I could do it–but it just was not the right fit. Isn’t that a weird thing? To prove that I could “achieve” a relationship. It’s a decidedly weird goal to have, but I think a lot of people have it without realizing it.

Sometimes, a person can have all the qualities you want without them fitting the way they would work for you.
Sometimes, when you work through your fear, people you should be around are near and the ones you should not are not.
Always, I decidedly deserve to explore my sexuality.
Always, there are men that handle emotional people, be secure in their masculinity and sexuality, and be passionate about what they do. And treat you well. And just be friends.
I think I have a desire to be around genius, but I think in truth, I have a desire to discover my own.
Always, I love myself.

Jared from Chapel Hill

I have seen my fair share of those college-party nights.  I have been a part of bar crawls across the country.  I met Jared in the middle of both and on one of our country’s most-beloved night of debauchery and hedonism, Halloween.  Oh I know you were guessing 4^th of July, not this time buddy.  I did not get much background on our hero, Jared, from his friends but let me start with telling you that it was Hall-o-ween.  This is one of the only nights that every guy starts out hoping, thinking, wishing… whatever …having some kind of intention of ending the night in a girl’s bed.  (Lesson:  True, there is something sexy and exciting about the romantic side of low-cut, short-skirt, see-through costumes that every girl feels they should be a participant of… so go out! But dress in costume!!  Girls do not want to take pictures with guys that are not in costume.)

The moment that I met up with Jared was probably at the same moment he had given up on disguising his true feelings.  Jared was dressed in costume; he was an Olympic synchronized-swimmer with the Speedo, the goggles, the slicked back hair, and baby oil all over his body.  He had so much oil that whatever or whomever he bumped into got slimed.  (Lesson:  In theory, you should steal this costume idea but remember that if you do make it to the bed… it will ruin sheets, clothes, and could stain the mattress.  So be advised.)  And after meeting him I instantly asked him where his synchronized partner was and Jared furiously explained that she had cancelled a couple hours before the night started because she was busy studying for a test.  But Jared found out that she decided that after she studied for an hour she was sick of it and went out to dinner and a movie with her mom.  And then Jared tells me that the last time she went out with her mom for dinner, her mom turned out to really be an ex-boyfriend that she ‘ran into’.  (Lesson: Get to know her mom, maybe get her cell phone number and keep a simple friendship going with a text message every now and then.  That way, you can verify things that your girlfriend may or may not be doing.  But this is not meaning you do not trust your girlfriend, it is just in case you need it.)

Our hero was a mess, he was walking around the bar confessing to anyone who would talk to him about how much he was all over his girlfriend but she was clearly working the corner for tuition.  He was carrying his own bottle of liquor, do not ask me how he got that in the bar, but would be the first to join in on shots offered by anyone else.  (Lesson:  This is a bold move; you may be hurt by your girl but stay classy.  Let sober words and sober actions be bolder than drunken slurs.)  His friends told me how Jared had been dating this girl that every guy wanted and a lot of guys had dated but had no luck with in comparison to our hero’s luck.  Our hero had been naïve to her past because he was from out-of-state and did not ask about her past in between date number one to date number twelve.  (Lesson:  The past is key, but not a reason for mistrust or hesitancy.  It will help you have a grasp on how she used to be, dating style, and in case there is a jealous ex-boyfriend that may try to sucker-punch you one night.  So ask, it is not prying.)

By now, I had been hanging out with our hero for a good three hours and he was telling more and more people how this girl was amazing and beautiful and follow it with a chug from his bottle of liquor.  Jared even told a couple of us how he would make her favorite kind of muffins and leave them on her apartment door-step in the morning before her first class and then on nights that she had to study all night for an exam, he would stop by with a batch of cookies.  (Lesson:  You better steal that idea, wrap the baked-goods and leave a little note for her.  It is good for days she has an interview, test, etc.)  Jared was now on the verge of collapsing from the alcohol and from heartache.  It was around three in the morning when our hero let everything crash down on top of him.  Literally.  Jared was in the kitchen hunched over talking about his girlfriend when he fell over and started crying.  We thought maybe he had broken his arm or shoulder and that was the reason for the tears but when he punched the closest kitchen drawer, we realized he was crying because of his girl.

Our hero was so oiled up that no one dared to help him up so he started stammering out his emotional turmoil between and during sobs.  (Lesson:  Try to avoid moments like this.  No it is okay to cry, but try to avoid the moments where everyone else in the room but you will remember what happened the next day and you will not.)  Jared then threw me his phone, where he was storing it I did not get a chance to see nor did I even want to ask.  Jared demanded that I call his girl … and I did and after a good ten minutes explaining that her boyfriend really was crying and really was oiled up and really was laying on the kitchen floor, after all of that she agreed that she would come.

Jared is a good kid and I think the best way to describe him is as a romantic.  His friends had talked about how this was only his second girlfriend and the last one was a good two-year relationship.  And when the girlfriend finally showed up to the scene of the crying, Jared said he blacked out and does not recall the rest of this… good thing I was there.  We all watched him pour out his heart, confessing it all and it all led to the finale featuring the infamous words “I love you.”  He was so good and so believable in his drunkenly-oiled role that two girls listening were actually crying because of how romantic he was being.  His girlfriend felt bad and walked over and helped him up and took him back to her apartment.  (Lesson:  The girl probably has been so embarrassed at this point that she has to take you with her, do not put your girl in this awkward situation ever.  That is a lesson.)

The next day Jared came and got his phone.  He told me how she woke him up and he was completely naked, no oil, and she told him;

“I love you too Jared, I love you so much.”

Jared followed this up with a sign and a smile.  He told us that it was nice to hear but he realized that even though she said it back, her response was from him acting like an idiot and due to pressure not due to anything in their relationship.  Plus, Jared said that she admitted that she had went out her a different ex-boyfriend that night but would stop doing it because she realized after he said I love you that even though it was innocent it still was wrong.

One month later, she broke up with our hero … and our hero did not cry.

(Lesson:  Having good intentions may lead the way for absurd actions but do not bring her into an awkward situation or melt-down.  Man up.  Sober words and sober actions are far more meaningful and you will at least remember them the next day.)

It doesn’t take a lot of searching to stumble across an “all men are dogs” post online. I have yet to meet a female that hasn’t at some point had her heart broken, including myself. I have yet to meet a female who hasn’t at some point stated that, “all men are assholes”, including myself. I have yet to meet a female that hasn’t at some point considered a single life of celibacy if it meant never having to get screwed over again. I wanted to share my story so hopefully woman will stop ripping their hair out and settling for a no-good S.O.B doesn’t know how to treat a woman.

I didn’t have any boyfriends during my teenage years. I used to think I was super picky but now I see that it was because I am a “straight to the point” type of girl that doesn’t like having her time wasted. I was a virgin until I was almost 19. This made it hell for me because as soon as a guy found out I was a virgin I became a territory that needed conquering. I can’t count how many bets I have been involved in at some point. It was pitiful. Guys went to desperate measures to sleep with me- and when I laughed at how lame they were and made fun of them for it, I was called a “tease”. I was a “snob”. I “wasn’t all that anyways”. It was hilarious. Besides that situation I was honestly too wrapped up in myself and having fun than to worry about relationship drama with a guy that almost certainly wouldn’t last long.

When I was 18 I met my son’s father. I have blogged about this so many times, told this story so many times that I can’t even go there anymore. Let’s just say it didn’t go so well. I lost my virginity to him after dating him for 11 months and ended up having his son. He’s gone, he’s been gone since a few days before I found out I was pregnant. This was a pretty crazy experience. I ended up being the bitter  female who flattened his tires then had him arrested….. being cheated on—- no…..being lied to about an entire relationship can turn someone mad. Yes, the whole time I was with him I thought he loved me, thought I was special, thought I was the only one when in fact I was one of many and our entire “relationship” was a complete lie. I was a “bet”. He won. Wow, huh? And now he is a deadbeat dad that doesn’t even know his son and I was left pregnant at 19 and to become a single mom 5 days after my 20th birthday.

I became a serial crusher. Yes, that’s a word I just made up. I found guys to develop a crush on- never to let them know. I loved it. I could watch them and imagine what a relationship would be like with them- without actually having to deal with who they really were. It was great. One of them was some asshole in a band. Another was a co-worker…..and another co-worker….. ok, they were usually co-worker. I talked to another jerk in a band that was way too popular and whorish for me to handle. I met a guy that will forever be the “rebound guy”, thinking he could help me get over my ex- oh wow….. isn’t it funny how rebound guys are usually the TOTAL opposite of the guy who screwed you over? I took it to a whole new level of weirdness. I am a beer drinking, swear like a sailor, prop my feet on the dinner table kind of girl. This guy was a collared shirt wearing, overboard on the hair gel, “I seriously listen to Maroon 5” kind of guy. LOL. He was the second of 3 guys I have ever slept with and I literally had to drink myself silly to do it. I’m all like 5’9 big boobs and stuff- and this guy looked like freaking Prince. He was petite. OMG. I can’t believe I slept with him. (trying to stop having flashbacks ew).

I was never looking for a relationship with any of these guys. I turned into a super bitch who trusted NO ONE. Guys would hit on me in the club and I would deliberately gross them out to get them away from me. I hated men.

I started exchanging numbers with quite a few guys online. Oh no- I never had any intentions of meeting them- I just enjoyed having a guy call me. It maintained my confidence and that was it. Every time they asked to meet up with me- I pulled a new excuse out of my ass. I could have written a very successful book about it; “1000 ways to get rid of a guy”.

The whole time all of this was going on, maybe 2 years, I was still crying over my ex. I went through all of the stages of grief. It was HELL. It wasn’t normal to feel that fucked up in the head. It honestly wasn’t. Especially when I didn’t have to face him, he had already moved across the country and got another girl pregnant. You would have thought that made it easier- it made it worse. Or at least I hope it couldn’t have been any worse than it was.

  So one day in 2006, I got a friend request from some random guy. He was really cute so I clicked his picture and noticed he was from around the same area I grew up in in Virginia and had recently moved to Florida. I clicked his pictures and wow. He was standing there in the middle of the freaking woods with an assault rifle. I thought to myself, “nope. no way buddy”. But after really checking out his profile I got curious and decided to send him a message. Here it is- my very first message to him.

From: kal32205
Date: May 13, 2006 1:08 PM
kevin check it out you are so damn cute but jesus you are gonna scare everyone away with that picture of you and that gun lmao i hope to God that isn’t yours…..

And his response:

hey babygirl…thanx for the comment and the advice lolz…well itz not my gun and i dont have one but it doesnt hurt to know how to use one Have a good weekend cutie and i would appreciate an add <3 ttyl

He eventually explained the gun situation and I can guarantee you, it was totally innocent. On May 19th, 2006, he came to visit me at the club I was bartending at and we have been together ever since. I fell totally head over heels for him, he honestly had every quality I wanted in a guy. We are now engaged and have a daughter together.

I could have given all of those losers a chance (why did I always attract losers anyways?) but then I wouldn’t have this wonderful life I have right now. Everything happens for a reason- don’t write anything off as chance. This is how it was supposed to be. When I cried my eyes out night after night over my ex- I never in a million years thought I could be happy with someone else. When I had our son, I didn’t think I could possibly find someone who would accept me and my son. My friends and family all tried to tell me that I was a wonderful, beautiful person who deserved to be treated with respect- and that I would find someone perfect for me if I just gave it time. They were more than right. I can’t tell you all how many nights I prayed to God that he would just send my ex back to me- and how many times I got mad at God for putting me through what I thought was unfair. I now thank God he never answered those prayers of mine, he knew what I wanted and what I needed better than I did….

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LDS Singles, SeniorDateNetwork.com has IM, Chat Rooms, Skype, emails, flirts to break the ice, and other features for you to use FREE. That’s right, FREE!

Find someone interesting, send a flirt. If they respond, we have IM and Chat Rooms to get acquainted as well as internal emails. We even are set for Skype so you can visit on video.  You can even connect with your mobile devices.

SeniorDateNetwork.com is a 40 and older site for LDS. We have all the technologies that you need. All you have to do is log on, fill out a profile, and start looking. We are a newer site that will soon have many profiles for you to choose from. Get in on the ground floor while there are less people in competition for you.

LDS Singles, SeniorDateNetwork.com has IM, Chat Rooms, Skype, emails, flirts to break the ice, and other features for you to use FREE. That’s right, FREE!

Find someone interesting, send a flirt. If they respond, we have IM and Chat Rooms to get acquainted as well as internal emails. We even are set for Skype so you can visit on video.  You can even connect with your mobile devices.

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I am all excited!  I’m going to have two cocks today.  One is on his way over now and I am anxiously awaiting his arrival any moment.  He and I have gone out a few times.  We have several things in common including our state of birth, similar career paths, and the love of a good fuck to relieve stress and heighten the mood.  We keep a light and airy relationship with no strings attached.  We just enjoy the moment to it’s fullest each time we get together.  No matter what we do, we both know in the end we will enjoy a good fuck!

He knocked on my front door.  I answered and we were both so excited to see each other on such a glorious, sunny, spring day and what was soon to be happening inside my bedroom.  We kissed quickly and then just started stripping our clothes off by the kitchen.  He excused himself to the restroom and I got completely undressed and waited for him on the bed.  He came out and hustled over to me with his hard cock sticking straight out.  I even said it must have been hard to pee with that erection.  He agreed as we both laughed.

He stood in front of him and I put my mouth around his cock, but I don’t think either of us wanted much of that.  He wanted my pussy and I wanted his big, hard dick inside it.  He slowly and easily slipped his head in, and then let the rest of the shaft follow slowly as his big dick filled my pussy, taking it in all the way to the base.  He put my legs on his shoulders, his hands underneath my ass, tilted his pelvis forward, and moved my body up and down his cock.  I came and then just kept cumming.  My juices got his cock so wet.  I could hear them smacking as he moved in and out.

I moved his body closer to mine so that I could grind against his cock pushing it hard into my pussy.  His hard shaft moved the walls of my pussy, stirring it like a stew.  I loved it and came at least another five times.  He then positioned himself so that we could kiss.  The connection of our kiss and his cock deep inside me made me cum again.

Now I was ready to feel his cum.  I wanted the earth inside my pussy to shake as he erupted inside me.  He said he wasn’t quite ready and I was okay with that as I was cumming constantly.

After a few more orgasms and his cock so wet with my juices, he moved me more onto the bed and got on top of me.  His body was close as I held him tight and my legs were spread wide.  This time he was ready and said he was about to cum.  I told him to scream it out; I wanted to hear it.   He came and I could feel all his creaminess flow into and all through my pussy.  I got so excited at the thought I came and then once more as he was still cumming.  His cock was still hard enough for me to squeeze it and with the added slickness of his cum it felt incredible.

We laid there side-by-side on the bed, hot, sweaty and oh so relaxed with endorphins dancing through our heads.  My pussy was so wet with his huge load and all my juices from my many orgasms.  I had a good stew brewing inside me.  It is the best concoction one can make.  I still have some deep inside me as I sit here and write this with visions of good fucking in my head.  And there’s more that lies ahead.  What a day!

********************

I had been texting a guy from an online dating service for about a month.  I was finally able to pin him down and confirm a date a week prior.  I knew since it took such a long time to confirm a day and that we never talked it was probably not reliable.  After several texts back and forth, I confirmed a place and time for tonight.  Since I was unsure of his appearance I contacted two other guys from the same online source to see if they were available.  One said he may be and to touch base with him later.  In the meantime, I got a nice surprise from a friend I had been dating a couple of months.  He wanted to come by for a quickie before the time I confirmed with the guy I had been texting.  I thought great; this is perfect, in case this guy doesn’t show.  As I predicted I got a text from Mr. Text himself stating that his brother took the car and he will be unable to make it; can I drive to meet him.  He lived 45 minutes away without traffic and I knew I had other options so I ditched Mr. Text.

As it turns out I decided not to connect with my quickie friend either – I was in the mood for someone totally new so I arranged to meet with a guy I talked to for the first time today.  After some communication and coordination I picked him up from his house because he recently got into a car accident and his car was in the shop. We drove to a local bar and talked about various topics while we sipped our drinks.  He spoke of his ex-wife and her lack of a sex drive and how vibrant his own libido was.  This was my clue that tonight would lead to another thrilling time in bed.  He spoke of his days as a professional dancer and a Chippendale dancer also.  This gave me even a better clue to the moves that he may perform on me.  I hurried the conversation and asked he if was ready to go back to his place.  He was ready and willing after a couple more sips of his drink.  I think I made him a little nervous but he was visibly excited in anticipation.  He loved my small, tight, fit body and wrapping his hands around my waist as we sat at the bar.

We drove to his house where he gave me a tour all around outside, and then inside.  I excused myself to the restroom, turned on the recorder, and exited to his bedroom to place my purse on the floor.  I met him in the kitchen where he was putting away his delivery of water bottles.  I helped him finish and then he took me in his arms and kissed me passionately in the kitchen.  He had a great mouth and tongue, very soft and full of passion.  I said let’s go someplace more comfortable as I took off my shirt.

We went to his bedroom and as he turned on music, I stripped to my underwear.  He too took off his clothes leaving his brief’s on.  I got on the bed and made myself comfortable.  He had mirrors all around his bedroom walls that made for an exciting ambiance with lit candles flickering all around.  He got on top of me and kissed me again.  I felt the outside his brief’s and found a plump cock that I knew would grow nicely.  I felt up and down his shaft and his balls and thighs.  He moaned in ecstasy with my exploration.  I got him to take off his briefs as I took off my panties.

I put his dick inside my mouth and felt his shaft grow hard in my mouth and hand.  It was such a nice cock.  I couldn’t wait to feel it inside me.  He then went down between my legs and licked my clit and inside my pussy.  He kissed my clitoris and tongued inside my pussy.  It felt really good as I moved my hand up and down his shaft.  After some time, I couldn’t wait any longer and wanted to feel that dick of his inside me.  I stated, “Give it to me!”

He opened his bedside drawer and pulled out a condom packet.  He blew into the condom and then slipped it over the head and down the shaft.  He licked my pussy to ensure it was wet and ready for entry.  He slipped right in and his full, thick, hard cock made me cum instantly.  He had a great cock.  I loved every inch of it and wanted it as deep as he could get it.  I wanted to feel it all, leaving nothing behind.

I told him to grind his cock deep to the bottom of my pussy.  He positioned my legs on his shoulders and I moved up and down his body feeling all of his cock inside me.  It was exciting and I came again, but I squeezed him out.  He had a hard time remaining hard.  He would say he wanted to fuck me all night; I just wanted him to remain hard.  Twice he slipped out as I was cumming because he couldn’t remain fully erect.  I think there was more with him than met the eye, but I just wanted to fuck.  But after I saw that he was having a hard time remaining hard, I just really wanted him to cum.  I told him I wanted to feel him cum and then boop, he came.  It was strange.  He said he came so hard, but I didn’t see much of a reaction.  I did feel his cock get softer.  It is hard to tell if a guy cums when his dick is surrounded by a condom.  It is such a treat to feel a cock explode and wearing a condom takes that excitement away.  Regardless, I got two cocks today and many, many orgasms; so one cannot complain.  It was a spectacular, spontaneous day.

I even got a shave at the end.  Once we were done fucking, he suggested I go bald.  He kept mentioning it over and over.  I know it is a big deal in the Chippendale world and I actually liked the idea.  So we cleaned up and he got out the shaver.  I sat in the kitchen with a towel on a chair.  I spread my legs out wide and he shaved my pussy with his shaver.  I then turned around, bent over, and he shaved around my ass.  He loved that as he kept kissing it.  He got excited again and wanted to play again but I had my share and was ready to go home.  I said let’s save it for another time, got dressed, and he walked me to my car.  We kissed once again.  He loved my tongue and even requested me to stick it out so that he could lick it in the air.  I was tired and said good night, until we meet again; maybe…

The best way to meet someone new is to put yourself out there. Take a chance, a risk and try something you have never tried. We have all done the nightclub thing, waiting and hoping to meet someone halfway decent. Somehow, it never seems to happen…does it?

What is a normal, decent, funloving person suposed to do? You can try the grocery store, gym, post office or any of the other 10 million random places we have been told to check. The problem with this approach is that very few of us have the ability to walk up to a perfect stranger and start up a conversation. If we could do that, we probably wouldn’t be single, right.

The idea behing Table for 20 is to remove the barrier of having to start the awkward conversation. When we relax, when we are comfortable, we somehow turn into that person who has no problem being social. We suddenly enjoy talking to new people and making new friends.

Join us for a dinner party and make some new friends, and hopefully, with a little luck, meet that perfect person.

Originally written November 12

I’ve recently been converted to a fan of Dexter.  So far I’ve only made it through the first 2 episodes.

Dexter is a serial killer who only kills bad guys.  He’s careful and methodical about making sure that they really are evil people who have escaped justice.  He’s a sociopath who claims to have no feelings, to fake all of his emotional human interactions.  He dates a single mom.  They’re both terrified of being intimate.

And yes, I very much identify with the show.  All too often I find that I’ve missed some crucial bit of information and have to manage to fake my way through a situation.  And I am very much afraid of letting people into my life.  I show a startling lack of judgment at times.  Witness Psycho Stalker and Icks.

One of the things I love about Dexter is that he finds the single mom who’s been severely damaged by her past more attractive than the “normal” co-worker who’s after him.  There’s none of the usual BS about single mothers being desperate for a hook-up or un-able to meet their kids needs.  She might have a past but she’s a good mom and she’s not easy.  The difficulty of dating with kids in tow is tactfully but truthfully touched upon.  They finally get brave enough to kiss (although it is almost painfully obvious that both characters are still quite hesitant) when her son calls after getting sick at his friend’s house.

It’s a good show, good enough to earn a spot on my very meager TV viewing time.  Luckily I burrowed the DVD’s from a co-worker who understands that it might take me a while to get through the whole season.

originally written November 11

I’m not very good at sharing.  But I am trying to learn.

I want to share my life with BF, but so much of it has been mine alone for so long that I don’t know how.

In particular, I have no experience sharing my kids.  I am used to being the only adult who is consistently part of their lives.  Icks sees them nearly every weekend but he is not around for Tuesday morning when no one wants to get out of bed and we’re 20 minutes late already.  Grandma sees them often (except she’s out of town for most of this month) but she mostly spoils them with treats and TV.  They see their teachers everyday but the turn over at the school is (too) high and the schedules often change.  Until now I have been their rock, the one grown up who is always there and can be counted on to meet their needs and look out for them.  And I am used to getting all the sticky hugs, the fresh-picked dandelions, the demands for make it better kisses.

Single Mom Seeking’s post on discipline comes at a good time for me.  Because as I learn to let someone share in my trials and joys as a parent this issue is starting to come up for us.  If we really have a future together he needs to have a relationship of love and respect with my kids.  They need to know that he is another rock they can rely on.  PB seems to be starting to trust him more, the first sign being that he’s really testing the limits.  He wants to know if the rules are still the rules.  J is small enough that she is fine to let anyone (she sees often enough to trust at all) distract her with an appropriate activity if she veers into trouble.

And BF seems to really want to do the right thing.  He wants to become a part of my family, wants to be good to both me and my kids.  But sometimes he doesn’t know how to go about it, doesn’t have much experience with kids, doesn’t know where my limits are.  And so he is hesitant to get too involved.

For the most part I think it best to (slowly) let them work it out themselves.  I don’t want to have a family where I must always referee between my kids and my man.  But I also don’t want these people I love so much to think that I don’t care enough to help them through the process.

I am learning to share my children, the most important part of my life, and it is so hard.  I have tried to take things slow, to let him be around, to let them all get used to each other, without having it be too serious too soon.  But things are quite serious between us now, we might not be forever but baring trauma this is going to be a long term serious relationship.  And so now I have to learn to let the compartments of my life, my heart, bleed into each other.

Last night was a hard night.  Everyone had had long, difficult days.  And the evening didn’t go very well.  I got the kids in bed before BF came over (we’d gone to his house for pizza earlier) and we had one of those talks.  I went to check on my kids.  And they were sleeping so peacefully.  So I pulled BF back to their room with me.  And we stood quietly in each other’s arms and listened to them breath.  Sharing the moment.  It was so beautiful, and I was so happy to have someone who could be with me for that instant of tranquility.

As per Craigslist:

W4M

“Baggage” – I can’t deal with actual human beings

“Curvy” – fat

“Drama free” – I’m still bitter and involved with the last guy who got me pregnant

“Love to laugh” – I am a boring as hell so hopefully you can make it entertaining

“Looking…” – spam

“Must love…” – spam

“Partner in crime” – I’m as clever and interesting as a brick

“Seeking…” – spam

“Sensual” – fat

“Something real” – spam

“Treat me…” – fat black woman with a highly undeserved sense of entitlement

No picture – fat

Picture of sunset, flower, cocktail, eyes – fat

Three or four sentence post of superficial crap with picture of cute or hot woman – spam

“Not looking for sex” – I’ll blow you

Five paragraphs long post – I’m fucking insane

M4W

“see what happens” – I’m hoping for at least a fingerbang

“down to earth” – boring

“sincere” – needy

“romantic” – needy

“drama-free” – I need a vagina that won’t bother me after I’m done with it

No picture – I resemble a creature from Middle-earth

Picture of anything else other than a person – I will give you an STD

“Love to eat pussy” – Don’t really know which part the pee or the baby comes out of

“spoil you” – I hope you’re into watersports

“lets chat” – My other hand is on my erection

“love [music, movies, tv]” – I’m a cultural retard

“experienced” – one or two date rape convictions