You may remember that I recently reviewed a book that I didn’t want to read.  I still had mixed feelings about it in the end, but I concluded that it was quite well-written, albeit infuriating.  That book was chosen by my book club, as was the one I’m talking about today.  Because I questioned whether I should have spent the $14 on a book that may not bring me closer to Jesus, I decided to exercise my library card on City of Thieves, by David Benioff.  That was a good decision!

I will preface this (well, I guess I already prefaced it, but I’m gonna preface again) by stating that I am NOT a WW2 buff; I am only mildly interested.  In addition, I have very little curiosity about Russia, past or present.  The fact that this novel was set in Leningrad during the war should give you a slight inkling into my opinion of the book.  But, that inkling is not complete.

The book was explicit.  It was mostly just teenage boys talking, but it was as intrusive as if it had been detailing the degrading acts in real time.  Very vulgar terminology dropped into the dialog like little grenades, catching the reader (at least this reader) off-guard every time.  Perhaps this was meant to add credibility to the situation, as it was narrated by a then-17-year-old boy who was accompanied by a then-19-year-old soldier.  Perhaps boys talk like this.  Constantly.  As though they’re talking about the weather.  As though nothing is meant to be respected or kept private.  As though the language were acceptable enough for your grandmother.  But I was not entertained by it.

Those things aside, it was a decent story.  It was well-written, but I just wasn’t captivated.  It may be unfair of me to say these things, because I was distracted both by the vulgarity as well as by the fact that I was uninterested in the first place.  I did find the two main characters both hilarious and tragic, apart from everything else.  The horrors of starvation and isolation were evident, and there were some really heart-wrenching moments.

I can’t say it was a great book or a bad book.  What I can say is that it wasn’t for me.

I have the (admittedly annoying) tendency to judge people based on their grammar and spelling habits, even over informal channels such as gchat and texting.  Some have complained that this practice is unfair; but until recently, I thought it was a fair testament to a person’s overall worth.

I admit, I was wrong (at least in one instance).

I’d like to introduce you all to Max (a real NYC friend!).  Not the most grammatically correct gchat or texter (or best Scrabble-er), but good at fixing things and entertaining over a beer.  Fed up with my correcting him and assuming he’s incapable of writing, Max recently decided to prove me wrong, with the following that he wrote on his lunch break from solving white collar crimes.  Please welcome Max and I’d love to hear your thoughts:

From the desk of Max

It is the dead of winter and I am behind enemy lines in Nazi occupied Russia, 60 kilometers from Leningrad. Bundled up in my Red Army issue parka I have taken up position in a stand of trees, perched high above a clearing on the edge of the enemies’ base.

I can faintly hear what I imagine are the punch lines to jokes about killing Jews,
Something like, “eichenschleimenheimer” or “heishdenjewdemkillier.”

Looking through the scope of my Kalashnikov sniper rifle, I’ve identified six Nazi soldiers standing in a circle, huddled together for warmth. I’ve zeroed in on the Swastika emblazoned on the hat of the soldier whose voice I heard right before the group burst in laughter.

I glance at my watch – only eight minutes left before they report back to their posts among the trees. If I don’t move quickly enough I will surely be discovered and killed. I prepare to fire, switching off the safety while carefully positioning myself to kill all six of them in one burst.

Five minutes.

My heart is pounding. My hand trembles. My vision goes in and out of focus. I am exhausted from the long nights in the trees, but there is no room for error.

Three minutes.

Adrenaline takes over, and I go to work.

THWAP. THWAP…THWAP. THWAP. THWAP…

“Shit” I whisper. The sole survivor of my barrage dove to the ground after seeing his companions fall dead in front of him. He scrambled into the wooded area and has sought cover behind a large oak. Precious time ticks away, but he hasn’t discovered my position. 30 seconds left. He peaks his head out from behind the tree. THWAP.

I breathe a sigh of relief and lay my #2 pencil down as I return to the reality of my fluorescently lit LSAT testing center in New York City.

“Please stop writing and lay your pencils down.” booms the proctor. “You will now have a fifteen minute break after which you will begin the final two sections of your exam.”

This is only a practice exam, but that was too close for comfort. You see, since reading David Benioff’s sophomore effort “City of Thieves“, I have developed a proprietary test taking strategy for the LSAT, for which I am currently studying despite my lack of desire to go to law school (long story for another post).

At the onset of my campaign towards LSAT domination, during breaks in my studies, I would read Benioff’s novel to break the monotony of the “Logic Games” section. The novel takes place during WWII, and follows the adventures of a trio of unlikely heroes, one of whom is a Russian sniper. I enjoyed these breaks, which made the LSAT study sessions somewhat bearable, but quickly finished the book, and was left with the emptiness that only multiple choice questions can provide. So rather than thinking of each question as a series of logical premises that lead to “the best possible answer”, I started imagining myself as Vika, the sniper, my pencil as my rifle, and the questions as Nazis. Haven’t missed a question since. December 5th, test day, will be a bloodbath.

As an aside. I would recommend the book highly. Like cotton candy, it’s light, fun, and will give you a little rush, like a sugar high. I haven’t read his first book, The 25th Hour, but Benioff’s screen play adaptation was turned into one of my all time favorite movies, it’s a Spike Lee joint starring Edward Norton. If you haven’t seen it, do so. Shhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiit. (You’ll understand once you’ve seen the movie.)

“You will now have 35 minutes to complete this section. If you finish before time is called, you may check over your previous work from this section only. Do not work on any other section, and please do not disturb the other test takers. You may begin.”

I can see my breath again.

I believe I’ve heard of this book from some of those newsletters I have subscribed to from publishers. I always read them as sometimes I find something I might like and might want to read in the near future. This one caught my attention and I decided to give it a try.

City of Thieves by David Benioff takes place in World War II Russia during the seige of Leningrad. Here you read the story of Lev, a young boy who gets caught looting a corpse of a German soldier, and of Kolya a Russian army “deserter”. They both get saved from certain death in prison by a powerful Soviet colonel who asks them an impossible task: to find a dozen eggs to make a cake for his daughter’s wedding. Impossible? yes there’s hardly any food in the city. Rations are slim and many people are resorting to very drastic measures to get food. To avoid failure (meaning death if they fail), they go on a journey to look for these eggs.

This book has all the makings of a coming of age historical foreign movie (makes sense, the author is also a screenwriter). I can actually picture the movie in my head and watching it. It’s something I would watch. It’s both funny yet certain parts remind me of the horrors of war still thriving within the city. The story is told in the point of view of Lev who’s young and stays behind while his mother and sister move away from the city. His father, is most likely dead, as he gets arrested and is never seen again. When he meets Kolya, the charming deserter who seems to have a tale for everything and has to say something every waking moment, they make a comical duo. Lev is very surly at first and is annoyed frequently by Kolya, who doesn’t really care what he thinks of him and keeps on going with his little quirks and stories of his various romantic conquests and how he hasn’t gone to the bathroom in a very long time.

I liked this book because of its’ interesting mix of comedy and drama set in a rather serious and sombre setting. Come to think of it, I haven’t even read a book set in World War II where there is comedy in it. In fact I think it’s quite a rarity, yet this kind of rarity, and written and executed well, makes it a rare gem. I have to admit, I liked Kolya from the start. You could tell he was the comic relief of the duo here. He provided the light hearted side of the story and actually had very funny and interesting things to say. It was hard to like Lev. I don’t know what to make of him. Surly, hard to like, easily angered (really all the makings of an angsty teenager) although on the other hand, he knew how to survive on the streets which had made him mature faster while Kolya was more of the child of this twosome. However towards the end of the book where Lev actually does grow up both mentally and physically, I started to rather respect him more as his character developed.

As you read through their journey, you start to see their relationship develop and it becomes even brotherly, as Lev asks Kolya for some tips when it comes to romancing the ladies (and other “sports”). Although Lev sort of begrudgingly and even is embarassed by asking him, Kolya acts like a father figure, an elder brother, and a personal friend to Lev (although sometimes it’s more like an annoying friend you never asked for) which makes the relationship funny, but also at the same time, very personal because of the various events they went through both life threatening and yet comical. Believe me, those comical parts actually had me laughing out loud at times, the dramatic parts are just that and there’s a good balance between the two so you won’t be bored reading this novel.

The things I didn’t like about this book? well for starters, there were some very graphic and gruesome parts that aren’t for the squeamish and some parts even made me squirm uncomfortably. Lev rather annoyed me because he wouldn’t stop thinking as how Vika would look naked (and those moments increased towards the end of the book) it got annoying and stagnant. One other criticism, what happened to Kolya was rather predictable in the end. I figured that out at least before halfway of the novel. (Which is why I said it had all the makings of a great foreign movie).

Despite these faults, I enjoyed reading the book and following these two on their dangerous journey to find eggs. The whole finding eggs bit does make it comical but on the other hand it’s mixed so well with the horrors of war that you’re left being reminded that it’s still there, but that it’s okay to sometimes laugh once in a while even when the situation is very bleak. Besides, you have nothing to lose when you’re starving, and you’re always reminded of death everywhere you turn. Overall a good read if you can get past the graphic parts.

I give it a 7 out of 10.

“We walked alongside the frozen Fontanka Canal, the ice littered with abandoned corpses, some covered with shrouds weighted down with stones, others stripped for their warm clothes, their white faces staring up at the darkening sky.  The wind was beginning to wake for the night and I watched a dead woman’s long blond hair blow across her face.  She had taken pride in that hair once, washed it twice a week, brushed it out for twenty minutes before going to bed.  Now it was trying to protect her, to shield her decay from the eyes of strangers.” (page 56)

City of Thieves by David Benioff is one of those books that I avoided for no good reason.  The subject matter seemed boring to me, another war novel, another novel about Russia that I just had no interest in reading.  Every once in a while, though, a book just keeps showing up in my life and I just have to pick it up.  This was the case with City of Thieves.  It was featured at B&N, I stumbled upon it in the stacks and finally it was there at the check-out lane at the library.  Then it moved to the top of my TBR pile by chance – it was the only book I had in my car one day.  So I started reading it and I’m so glad I did.

The one word that comes to mind after reading this book is absurd.  The book is about Lev and Kolya, two young Russian men who are doing their part to defend St. Petersburg/Leningrad/Piter from the Germans.  They both end up in prison one night, after Lev loots a dead German’s body and Kolya supposedly deserts the army.  Certain they are facing death, they strike up an unlikely friendship that continues to grow after they are sent on a ridiculous  mission by the commander: find a dozen eggs.  If they can find a dozen eggs for the commander’s daughter’s wedding cake, they will be set free.  Never mind that no one has seen an egg in Piter for six months.

So they go looking for eggs.  This book balances the tragedy and absurdity of war in an unlikely way.  It is humorous but it never forgets its setting; it is grand and it is base.  There are moments of laugh out loud debauchery and tear-inducing trauma.  I cannot tell you how well this book is researched, in terms of how accurate a representation it is of Leningrad during the German blockade, but it sure feels well-done.  It feels impeccably researched, but never loses the narrative in the history.  It combines a character-driven tale, a historical back-drop, mythic allusions and manages to be refreshing and original.  As for the ending, well, I might have seen it coming from a mile away, but it certainly felt satisfying and I might have cried just a little.

More quotes!

The boy sold what people called library candy, made from tearing the covers off of books, peeling off the binding glue, boiling it down, and reforming it into bars you could wrap in paper.  The stuff tasted like wax, butt here was protein in the glue, protein kept you alive, and the city’s books were disappearing like the pigeons. (52)

For a few seconds he helped me forget the fear, but it never left for long.  I could not remember when I was not afraid, but that night it came on stronger than ever before.  So many possibilities, but that night it came on stronger than ever before.  So many possibilities terrified me.  There was the possibility of shame, of cowering again on the fringe of the action while Kolya fought the Germans – except this time, I knew he would die.  There was the possibility of pain, suffering through the kind of torture Zoya suffered through, the saw teeth biting through my skin, muscles and bone.  There was the excellent possibility of death.  I never understood people who said their greatest fear was public speaking, or spiders, or any of the other minor terrors.  How could you fear anything more than death?  Everything else offered moments of escape: a paralyzed man could still read Dickens; a man in the grips of dementia might have flashes of the most absurd beauty.  (pg 136)

This book was just what I needed when I needed it, highly recommended.

So go read this:  now| tomorrow |next week | next month | next year | when you’ve exhausted your TBR pile

Also reviewed by: Trish’s Reading Nook & Bending Bookshelf

Did you read and review City of Thieves?  Tell me in the comments and I’ll link to your review!

Brothers จากค่าย Lionsgate ภาพยนตร์ดราม่าเข้มข้นเกี่ยวกับรักสามเศร้าระหว่างพี่น้อง เป็นการประชันบทบาทของดาราระดับซุปเปอร์สตาร์ฝีมือถึง 3 คน อันได้แก่ Jake Gyllenhaal นักแสดงหนุ่มที่กำลังมีผลงานเด่น ๆ ในปีหน้าในคราบเจ้าชายเปอร์เซียใน Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time ที่เมื่อเร็ว ๆ นี้ เพิ่งปล่อยตัวอย่างมาให้ชมกัน ที่งานนี้ Jake จะต้องมาแย่งหลงรักพี่สะใภ้ Natalie Portman เจ้าหญิง Padme จาก Star war และมีหนังฟอร์มยักษ์ซุปเปอร์ฮีโร่ใน Thor ของพี่ตัวเอง Tobey Maguire พระเอกสไปดี้ ที่ผูกขาดไอ้แมงมุม น้อยนักที่จะเห็นเขาแสดงบทบาทอย่างนี้ จากการกำกับ Jim Sheridan จาก The Boxer จากการเขียนบทของ David Benioff (The Kite Runner, 25th Hour)

Brothers เป็นภาพยนตร์ที่รีเมคจาหนังเก่า Brødre ปี 2005 ของ Susanne Bier ว่าด้วยเรื่องราวของสองศรีพี่น้อง Sam Cahill (Tobey Maguire) นายทหารหนุ่มผู้ที่หายสาบสูญไปในระหว่างการถูกข้าศึกโจมตีเฮลิคอปเตอร์ของเขาตก ซึ่งน่าจะตายไปแล้ว Sam มีภรรยา Grace Cahill (Natalie Portman) และลูก ๆ ที่อาศัยอยู่กับน้องชาย Tommy Cahill (Jake Gyllenhaal) น้องชายของเขารับหน้าที่ดูแลพี่สะใภ้และหลาน ๆ ให้เป็นอย่างดี เวลาผ่านไปความเหงาและความใกล้ชิด ก็ทำให้ Tommy กับ Grace ก่อเกิดความสัมพันธ์ที่นอกเหนือน้องชายกับพี่สะใภ้ จนทั้งคู่เผลอมีใจให้กัน จนวันหนึ่ง Sam ก็กลับมาแต่ไม่ใช่คนเดิม เพราะเหตุเครื่องบินตก ทำให้สมองของเขากระทบกระเทือนจนทำให้เขากลายเป็นคนก้าวร้าว และวันนึงก็ได้รับรู้ถึงความสัมพันธ์ของภรรยาที่รักกับน้องชายตัวเอง ในที่สุดก็รับไม่ได้ เหตุการณ์จะเป็นอย่างไร กับรักสามเศร้าของพี่น้องคู่นี้จงลงเอยอย่างไร ติดตามกันในโรงภาพยนตร์ 4 ธันวาคม 2009 นี้ครับ

ตัวอย่างใหม่นำเสนอรายละเอียดของเนื้อเรื่องได้อย่างครบถ้วนที่เข้าถึงอารมณ์ผู้แสดงทุกตัว เริ่มตั้งแต่ Tommy ดูแลครอบครัวให้พี่ชายเป็นอย่างดี ตลอดจนความสัมพันธ์ของน้องชายกับ Grace พี่สะใภ้ จนกระทั่งการปรากฏของ Sam พี่ชายที่หายสาปสูญ จนกระทั่งทุกอย่างเปิดเผย Sam คลุ้มคลั่งเหมือนคนบ้า ในที่สุด ถือว่าเป็นตัวอย่างที่น่าดูมากครับ!!

Brothers จากค่าย Lionsgate ภาพยนตร์ดราม่าเข้มข้นเกี่ยวกับรักสามเศร้าระหว่างพี่น้อง เป็นการประชันบทบาทของดาราระดับซุปเปอร์สตาร์ฝีมือถึง 3 คน อันได้แก่ Jake Gyllenhaal นักแสดงหนุ่มที่กำลังมีผลงานเด่น ๆ ในปีหน้าในคราบเจ้าชายเปอร์เซียใน Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time ที่เมื่อเร็ว ๆ นี้ เพิ่งปล่อยตัวอย่างมาให้ชมกัน ที่งานนี้ Jake จะต้องมาแย่งหลงรักพี่สะใภ้ Natalie Portman เจ้าหญิง Padme จาก Star war และมีหนังฟอร์มยักษ์ซุปเปอร์ฮีโร่ใน Thor ของพี่ตัวเอง Tobey Maguire พระเอกสไปดี้ ที่ผูกขาดไอ้แมงมุม น้อยนักที่จะเห็นเขาแสดงบทบาทอย่างนี้ จากการกำกับ Jim Sheridan จาก The Boxer จากการเขียนบทของ David Benioff (The Kite Runner, 25th Hour)

Brothers เป็นภาพยนตร์ที่รีเมคจาหนังเก่า Brødre ปี 2005 ของ Susanne Bier ว่าด้วยเรื่องราวของสองศรีพี่น้อง Sam Cahill (Tobey Maguire) นายทหารหนุ่มผู้ที่หายสาบสูญไปในระหว่างการถูกข้าศึกโจมตีเฮลิคอปเตอร์ของเขาตก ซึ่งน่าจะตายไปแล้ว Sam มีภรรยา Grace Cahill (Natalie Portman) และลูก ๆ ที่อาศัยอยู่กับน้องชาย Tommy Cahill (Jake Gyllenhaal) น้องชายของเขารับหน้าที่ดูแลพี่สะใภ้และหลาน ๆ ให้เป็นอย่างดี เวลาผ่านไปความเหงาและความใกล้ชิด ก็ทำให้ Tommy กับ Grace ก่อเกิดความสัมพันธ์ที่นอกเหนือน้องชายกับพี่สะใภ้ จนทั้งคู่เผลอมีใจให้กัน จนวันหนึ่ง Sam ก็กลับมาแต่ไม่ใช่คนเดิม เพราะเหตุเครื่องบินตก ทำให้สมองของเขากระทบกระเทือนจนทำให้เขากลายเป็นคนก้าวร้าว และวันนึงก็ได้รับรู้ถึงความสัมพันธ์ของภรรยาที่รักกับน้องชายตัวเอง ในที่สุดก็รับไม่ได้ เหตุการณ์จะเป็นอย่างไร กับรักสามเศร้าของพี่น้องคู่นี้จงลงเอยอย่างไร ติดตามกันในโรงภาพยนตร์ 4 ธันวาคม 2009 นี้ครับ

ตัวอย่างใหม่นำเสนอรายละเอียดของเนื้อเรื่องได้อย่างครบถ้วนที่เข้าถึงอารมณ์ผู้แสดงทุกตัว เริ่มตั้งแต่ Tommy ดูแลครอบครัวให้พี่ชายเป็นอย่างดี ตลอดจนความสัมพันธ์ของน้องชายกับ Grace พี่สะใภ้ จนกระทั่งการปรากฏของ Sam พี่ชายที่หายสาปสูญ จนกระทั่งทุกอย่างเปิดเผย Sam คลุ้มคลั่งเหมือนคนบ้า ในที่สุด ถือว่าเป็นตัวอย่างที่น่าดูมากครับ!!

Jake Gyllenhaal, Tobey Maguire and Nathalie Portman in a drama about war and those it leaves behind.

When decorated Marine Sam Cahill (Tobey Maguire) heads off to his fourth deployment in Afghanistan, his wife Grace (Nathalie Portman) and their two daughters go through the motions of readjusting to life without a husband and father. But when Sam disappears after a helicopter crash while on a mission above the Afghan desert, his estranged ex-con brother Tommy (Jake Gyllenhaal) assumes the role of caretaker for the family, even romancing the lonely Grace as the two share their grief. In time, all three Cahill girls come to accept, even embrace Tommy as a surrogate for the presumed-dead Sam. The four move on with their lives until Sam returns home, scarred and shaken after his time spent as a POW.

Brothers remakes the 2004 Sundance favorite Brodre, reinterpreting writer-director Susanne Bier’s script to an American perspective and setting. Director Jim Sheridan’s brooding and forceful earlier dramas, including In The Name of the Father, The Boxer, and The Field, dealt as this film does with sweeping political themes on the level at which they affect individual lives, and the aftermath of events which were bigger than the people involved in them. Bier’s original script is adapted by David Benioff, who previously adapted The Kite Runner and his own novel The 25th Hour.  

The film’s biggest obstacle, we imagine, is the wall of indifference American audiences have consistently demonstrated for films regarding America’s presence in either Afghanistan or Iraq. The larger Hollywood studios and smaller independents alike have tried for years to bring any number of true- and fictionalized stories related to either Gulf War to the screen, but all have met with little to no success. In fact, Gyllenhaal himself has starred in two: Sam Mendes’ little-seen adaptation of Anthony Swofford’s memoir Jarhead and Gavin Hood’s 2007 drama Rendition, though neither could be considered a box office hit. Most other war-focused efforts have found a mixed critical reception, with only Kathryn Bigelow’s The Hurt Locker getting almost unanimous praise as its release crept across the country last summer.

For its part, the cast is qualified and competent, even if all three principals have seemed on the edge of their emergence as adult stars for years now. Maguire, once so promising in The Cider House Rules and The Ice Storm, has spent most of the last decade devoted to the Spider-Man franchise. Likewise Portman, another rising star of the 90s who (as we’ve said before) in recent years seems to only make films that are based on books with their own cardboard display at Barnes & Noble. Gyllenhaal earned his acting credentials with memorable turns in Brokeback Mountain and Zodiac, though controversy overwhelmed the one film as much as public confusion undermined the other, blunting his arrival in either case.

All of this is only important in that, for the film to work for most audiences, all three will have to grow into their roles onscreen, asserting a maturity that audiences would take for granted in older actors. Judging from the trailer below, it’s apparent they’ve managed with Sheridan’s help to do exactly that. Also appearing are the great Sam Shepard as the Cahill boys’ career Marine father and Mare Winningham as their mother.

Brothers opens nationwide December 4.

- Michael Kabel

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I’ve been trying to read more lately, I figure every author should be reading others’ work and it’d be nonsense for me to deny myself that knowledge.

I just finished Tucker Max’s book ‘I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell’, funny story behind that actually. I bought the book last year because I love that kind of humor but I never read it – instead, I passed it around to my roommate last year and one of my best friends. See, they loved it. So I read it this past weekend and I was just killing myself laughing. Tucker Max, although he’s an asshole, he’s also a genius and his sense of humor is outrageous!

But now I’m starting another Jodi Picoult novel ‘Salem Falls’, I’m only on like page 11, but I have high hopes seeing as I’ve read ‘Nineteen Minutes’ ‘The Tenth Circle’ ‘Perfect Match’ and my favorite I think ‘Second Glance’. I guess you could say I’m a big fan!

I would like to read, however, Joe Hill’s ‘20th Century Ghosts’ because I loved Heart-Shaped Box and the latest installment of Jeff Lindsay’s Dexter series, ‘Dexter by Design’. Funny, I started reading the Dexter series before I got into the television show.

Also, this semester I’d LOVE to finish Aravind Adiga’s ‘The White Tiger’ I just couldn’t finish it but they want to turn it into a movie so it must be worth it! I’d like to read David Benioff’s ‘City of Thieves’ too.

But for those who know me, my favorite author is CLEARLY Chuck Palahniuk. I went to a book reading of his for ‘Pygmy’ in the city this spring and it blew my mind. I was sitting so close to the stage and he was hilarious!  I can’t wait for his next book, and my favorite was ‘Invisible Monsters’.

So I guess I’ve got a lot of reading ahead of me – see, I’m trying to cut down my online time because the internet is fantastic yes, but I need to get my Lit on too!

More later <3

xoxo,

Harley

Al carajo tú también. ¿Yo, al carajo? Al carajo, tú.

Al carajo con esta ciudad y todos sus habitantes. Al carajo con los mendigos sacadineros, que se ríen a mis espaldas. Al carajo con los que vienen a limpiarme el parabrisas y lo ensucian. Busquen trabajo. Al carajo con los sij y los paquistaníes, con sus taxis decrépitos por las avenidas, mientras el curry les sale por los poros y me apestan el día. Terroristas entrenados. Bajen la puta velocidad. “…una de esas operaciones que alargan el pene”. Al carajo con los muchachitos de pecho depilado y brazos musculosos, chupándoselas en mis parque y mis muelles, sacudiéndolas en mi canal 35. Al carajo con los almaceneros coreanos y sus frutas caras y sus tulipanes y rosas envueltos en plástico. Diez años en este país y aún “no habla inglé”. Al carajo los rusos de Brighton Beach. Matones de la mafia sentados en cafeterías, tomando el té en vasitos, con los terrones de azúcar en la boca. Con sus tejemanejes y sus estratagemas. Vuelvan de donde vinieron. Al carajo con Hasidim y su sombrero, paseando por la calle 47 en su gabardina sucia llena de caspa, vendiendo diamantes sudafricanos del apartheid. Su esposa se lo merece. Al carajo con los agentes de Wall Street. Los supuestos dueños del universo.
lmitadores hijos de puta del Gordon Gekko de Michael Douglas, que inventan nuevas maneras de robarle a la gente trabajadora. Cadena perpetua para los imbéciles de Enron. ¿Creen que Bush y Cheney no sabían nada de esa mierda? No me jodas. Tyco. lmClone. Adelphia. WorldCom. Al carajo con los portorriqueños. 20 por auto, abusadores del servicio social. El peor desfile de la ciudad. Y no quiero ni mencionar a los dominicanos, los portorriqueños son un poroto a su lado. ¿Quién carajo es este tipo? Vete de aquí. Al carajo con los italianos y su pelo engominado, sus equipos deportivos de nylon, sus medallas de santos, sus bates de béisbol Jason Giambi Louisville Slugger, y sus ganas locas de actuar en Los Sopranos. Les voy a partir la cabeza en dos. Bensonhurst. Al carajo con las esposas ricas y sus pañuelos de Hermès, sus alcachofas de 50 dólares de la tienda Balducci. Rostros regordetes, jalados y estirados tensos y brillantes. No puedes engañar a nadie, querida. Taxi. Al carajo con los negros de la zona norte. Nunca pasan la pelota, no quieren jugar en la defensa. Dan cinco pasos para cada cesto, y luego le echan la culpa a los blancos por todo. No, no vamos a desistir. La esclavitud terminó hace 137 años. Supérenlo. Al carajo con la policía corrupta, que te mete un palo en el culo, te dispara 41 tiros, y se esconde detrás de un muro de silencio. Traicionan nuestra confianza. Al carajo con los curas que le meten la mano a los niños inocentes. Al carajo con la iglesia que los protege y no nos libra del mal. Y, de paso, al carajo con Jesucristo. La tuvo fácil, un día en la cruz, un fin de semana en el infierno, y todos los aleluyas de los ángeles para la eternidad. Prueba siete años en la puta prisión de Otisville, J. Al carajo con Osama bin Laden, Al Qaeda, y todos los atrasados trogloditas fundamentalistas. En nombre de los inocentes asesinados, rezo porque pasen el resto de la eternidad con sus 72 putas y porque ardan en un avión en llamas. lmbéciles con turbante arriba de un camello, pueden besarme el culo irlandés. “Me doy cuenta de que lo que alguna vez creí eran pruebas de represión…”. Al carajo con Jacob Elinsky. Llorando descontento. Al carajo con Francis Xavier Slaughtery, mi mejor amigo, que me juzga mientras le mira el trasero a mi novia. Al carajo con Naturelle Riviera. Le di mi confianza y me apuñaló por la espalda. Me vendió, la maldita perra. Al carajo con mi padre y su angustia sin fin, detrás de esa barra, bebiendo agua con gas, mientras le vende whisky a los bomberos y alienta a los Bronx Bombers. Vamos, Yankees. Al carajo con esta ciudad y su gente. Desde las casas en Astoria hasta los penthouses de Park Avenue. Desde los bloques del Bronx a los lofts en SoHo. Desde los conventillos en Alphabet City a los edificios en Park Slope y a las casas de Staten lsland. Que un terremoto la destruya. Que los incendios la azoten. Que se queme hasta las cenizas y que las aguas suban y sumerjan este lugar infestado de ratas.

No. Al carajo, Montgomery Brogan. Lo tuviste todo y lo tiraste a la basura, estúpido cabrón.

Tomado de The 25th Hour (2002). Sobre libro de David Benioff. Esperpéntica traducción de Argenteam, yo hubiera cambiado ese “carajo” por “jodan”. No sé si la película sea tan buena como este monólogo ya que no la he visto, pero no parece mal para ser la cinta de un negro.

I read about 2 or 3 books a week.  After a while the books all run together and I can’t seem to remember what I read a week or two ago.  Actually twice this summer I mistakenly read books that I had previously read.  Some books, though, stick out and remain with me.

I don’t usually like Science Fiction, but strangely enough, I LOVE time travel books.  One of the books that I read in past months that certainly hasn’t slipped from my memory is a novel named “Replay” by Ken Grimwood.  It’s not going to win a Pulitzer; it’s not the great American novel, but still.  It’s quite creative.  The main character goes back in time in his own life, from middle age to his life in college.  In fact, he does this a number of times, each time “replaying” his life, each time making very decisions with interesting outcomes. 

I stumbled upon a book in our building’s “lending library” that I enjoyed.  I’d never heard of the book or its author but simply picked it by its cover.  It’s “City of Thieves” by David Benioff.  He wrote the book “25th Hour”, from which the movie by the same name staring Edward Norton was made.  “City of Thieves” is a historical novel, set in Leningrad in January 1941.  1941?  Yes, that’s during WWII.  One surprising thing about this novel is how accessable Benioff makes the time period.  I picked up the book and was completely hooked halfway through the first page!  The story is interesting and moving, and it’s absolutely beautifully written.  And they say you can’t pick a book by its cover!

A book I read last week grabbed my attention and would not let go.  It’s far from a cheery tale. Actually it’s difficult to believe that a book on this subject would even be readable. The book in question? It was “Dry” by Augusten Burroughs. He’s the author of “Running With Scissors”, from which the movie by the same name was made.  His memoir “Dry” is about overcoming a drinking problem.  His narration was very moving.  Even more oddly, his wit shines through in this book.  I’ll be reading more of his books.

I have a problem. A major problem. An out of control, book-buying problem.

Okay, so, my friend Alex and I were hanging out, wasting time, and we decided to go to Books-A-Million — what we always end up doing. Books-A-Million is pretty much the only bookstore in our town — unfortunately this really cool used bookstore on the square closed a few years ago — and I had this whole discussion with Alex on the way there about how Barnes and Noble, which we have in town where I go to school, puts BAM to shame in terms of selection.

Well… despite all my arguing, BAM was actually having an AWESOME sale. Check out my buys:

The Mysteries of Pittsburgh by Michael Chabon

Wives and Lovers by Richard Bausch

Varieties of Disturbance by Lydia Davis

When the Nines Roll Over by David Benioff

Eats, Shoots & Leaves by Lynne Truss

The Yiddish Policemen’s Union by Michael Chabon

A great young cast of actors: Jake Gyllenhaal, Natalie Portman and Tobey Maguire star in this post-war drama, Directed by Jim Sheridan (Get Rich or Die Try’n) from a script penned by David Benioff (X-Men: Wolverine and The Kite Runner). This may be one of those movies that comes out of now where to grab a few late year award nominations, but either way it looks like an interesting watch.

Matt Damon

By Borys Kit – HollywoodReporter.com

Josh Zetumer has signed on to pen the fourth installment of Universal’s “Bourne” movie series, writing what is being described as a parallel script.

George Nolfi, who worked on “The Bourne Ultimatum,” initially came back for the fourth entry. He also boarded to write and direct “The Adjustment Bureau,” an adaptation of a Philip K. Dick short story that reteams him with “Bourne” star Matt Damon.

But as that movie nears its September start date, Nolfi had to step away from “Bourne.” Not wishing to slow development and keen on making “Bourne” part of its 2011 slate, Universal hired Zetumer to write a new script. It is unclear what will occur after Zetumer submits his draft or whether his script will be integrated with Nolfi’s.

“Our hope is that Nolfi, a key member of the ‘Bourne’ team, will return after he is done with ‘The Adjustment Bureau,’ ” a Universal spokesperson said.

Bourne Trilogy on DVD

Writing two scripts, though rare, is not without precedent in the tentpole movie world. “Star Trek: Generations,” “Fantastic Four: The Rise of the Silver Surfer” and “Wolverine” are movies that had parallel scripts commissioned and sometimes had them combined. “Conan,” still in development, is another project that falls into that category.

Frank Marshall and Jeffrey Weiner are producing the latest “Bourne” installment.

Zetumer, repped by UTA and Management 360, is generating heat around town for writing “Dune” for Pete Berg and Paramount. He wrote “The Infiltrator” for Warner Bros., to which Leonardo DiCaprio is attached and is being produced by Film 360, Appian Way and David Benioff.

HUGH JACKMAN

THRALL WORLD memo to FOX: Please put money into your SCRIPT this time!! X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE was such absolute shit and it’s a complete shame since here we have the rare occasion where the lead seems to have a genuine LOVE for his character…

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Follows Wolverine as he grows up with his powers, joins Team X and is ultimately betrayed by those closest to him.

Directed by – Gavin Hood

Written by – David Benioff, Skip Woods

Starring – Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber, Danny Huston, Will i Am, Lynn Collins, Kevin Durand, Dominic Monaghan, Taylor Kitsch, Daniel Henney, Ryan Reynolds, Tim Pocock, Julia Blake, Max Cullen, Tahyna Tozzi, Patrick Stewart

Proof positive that illegal downloading won’t neccesarily destroy a flick, Wolverine did surprisingly well at the box office. At least I thought it did well since I had assumed I would hate the movie. There’s moments that shine in this one but there’s some low points as well. I liked Liev Schreiber in the flick but don’t get what they did to Ryan Reynolds in the movie. Wasn’t he supposed to be the big deal? I guess some critics are easier to please than others, you’ll see what I mean when you check out my guest reviewer’s opinion of the movie.

HAHAHAHA! Awesome. Kids like to keep it simple and to the point. I, on the other hand, had a little more to say. Of course, that could be a bad thing.

Under the marquee – Will

One has to wonder if, had things worked out differently, Harrison Ford would have made a Han Solo prequel in the mid-1980s. I mean, he did reprise Bob Falfa. While the X-Men movies did make Hugh Jackman a star, they didn’t really make him the biggest star in the world. But X-Men Origins: Wolverine does offer something else–it’s gives Jackman a chance to be charming and athletic–it’s got to be the only franchise where the target audiences are teenage boys and women of the age of reason.

The film doesn’t feature Jackman’s best performance by far, but it does reveal exactly why he’s such a singularity. He’s a movie star, one who can make this silly action movie (which is, to be fair, pretty darn violent for a PG-13) seem like a real movie. It doesn’t hurt he’s got Liev Schreiber as his nemesis. The movie could have been–should have been–framed in a long fight scene between the two of them, flashbacks playing through. Schreiber somehow manages to turn in a textured performance and gnaw through the scenery.

There are some bright spots in the supporting cast–Will.i.am is surprisingly good and Danny Huston can make his atrocious dialogue sound all right–and no one’s terrible. There’s not enough personality in the script for the actors to do any better.

The direction’s good, if a little bland. It’s PG-13 gritty.

The special effects are bad. They bring it down.

CREDITS

Directed by Gavin Hood; written by David Benioff and Skip Woods; director of photography, Donald M. McAlpine; edited by Nicolas De Toth and Megan Gill; music by Harry Gregson-Williams; production designer, Barry Robison; produced by Lauren Shuler Donner, Ralph Winter, Hugh Jackman and John Palermo; released by 20th Century Fox.

Starring Hugh Jackman (Logan), Liev Schreiber (Victor), Danny Huston (Stryker), Will.i.am (John Wraith), Lynn Collins (Kayla), Kevin Durand (Fred Dukes), Dominic Monaghan (Bradley), Taylor Kitsch (Remy LeBeau), Daniel Henney (Agent Zero) and Ryan Reynolds (Wade Wilson).

City of Thieves by David Benioff

The ‘blurb’
In the coldest winter in history, in a starving city under siege, two prisoners are thrown together on a desperate adventure.

Or come back empty-handed, and die.

I picked this up in Waterstone’s because it had a banner on it saying that if the reader didn’t love it then they could claim two books free of charge – but the publishers needn’t worry – I won’t be claiming my freebies!

For Lev, the journey is not only about survival but also about coming-of-age. Kolya is very wordly-wise and is the perfect companion for Lev on this journey, even though Lev finds Kolya rather annoying at first!

I imagine this is semi-biographical, about the author’s Grandfather, perhaps – as Lev’s surname is Beniov. Some of the subject matter is rather disturbing, but that’s only to be expected and it’s not graphically written – there are funny parts too, which help to balance the book.

I’ve not read anything about the Russians’ involvement in World War 2 before, so I don’t know how factually correct the novel is, but it’s a cracking read. One really gets the sense of the struggle ordinary people had in order to survive in war-torn Russia.

The ending might be slightly predictable but that doesn’t take anything away from the experience. I’d definitely recommend this and will look for some more of this author’s work.

Alright sportsfans…(maybe not one word now but you just give it time..)

I completely forgot about this sector of my life [being my blog] ever since I wasn’t force-fed it for a class. Now it’s summer time and the livin, well, you know the cliche.

These past few weeks I have done a little bit of reading. Here’s the list thus far, a brief synopsis of each and my official rating.

1. City of Thieves // David Benioff

I decided to start off my summer with a light read about nazis and Russians brutally going at it World-War-II-style. The gist of the story is as follows: Two Russian men get thrown into a prison cell; one for looting, one for deserting. They are given the ridiculous directive by a Soviet colonel to secure a dozen eggs for his daughter’s wedding cake. Hello, people on the streets have converted to licking the glue off tin cans like goats and this crazy bastard thinks the criminals will be able to find eggs? I won’t ruin it for you but instead will leave with you this:

City of Thieves was hilarious. It was hilarious and devastating and utterly horrifying and Benioff switched between these extremes seamlessly. I’m constantly searching for words that animate and humanize and City of Thieves did just that while reminding me what a beautifully tragic world we live in.

Official rating: 5 thumbs way, way up.

Oh and I decided to break these up onto different posts.

“City of Thieves” by David Benioff

Recently I stumbled upon “City of Thieves” in a book store.  Although I’d read a series of shorts stories by the book’s author David Benioff, I had no emotional ties to this particular novel.  Nevertheless, I read the flap and decided that a story about a teenager and young deserter set during World War II might prove to be interesting.  I was worried about the historical component of the book.  Was I really interested in details of the siege of Leningrad by the brutal Nazis?  Did I want to spend part of my summer reading a historical drama involving the horrors of war especially as it pertained to the Russian element?

Ultimately, I caved and began reading the adventures of seventeen year old Lev Beniov.  As the story began, Lev watched mesmerized as a parachuting German plummeted to the ground near the desolate apartment building where he resided.  Upon reaching the German after the landing nearby, Lev and his young friends discovered that the soldier was dead (apparently frozen).  Lev removed a knife from the pocket of the corpse as his friends took other personal belongings from the dead Nazi.  However, Russian soldiers caught Lev and arrested him for looting as his friends escaped.  Lev was thrown into a bleak prison with a young deserter named Kolya.  Both young men faced a potential death sentence for their actions.  After surviving a night in prison, Lev and Kolya were taken to a Soviet colonel.  Instead of death or even punishment, the Soviet colonel directed the young men to find him a dozen eggs for his daughter’s wedding cake.  The war torn city was isolated, barren and desolate.  There was virtually no food and some inhabitants had even resorted to cannibalism to survive.  How would Lev and Kolya find a dozen eggs?  Thus began one of the most intense, tragic, emotional, roller coaster tales I have ever read.  This is the type of book that should be used to turn people onto the magic of reading good books.  In addition, this is a man’s book.  No chick lit, romance, soap opera, quirkiness in this work of art!  Many of my favorite books have been written by women.  However, I was really in the mood for a book written by a man that was expressly geared for a male audience.  So female authors; PLEASE don’t take offense.  Young Lev grew from a boy into a man throughout the course of the adventure and faced enough tragedy and suffering for a hundred lifetimes.  Despite the atrocities Lev endured on his journey with Kolya, he ultimately transformed physically, spiritually and morally into quite a man.  Like I said, this novel was written for men (particularly teens and up).  I’m not saying that women won’t like it.  I’m just saying that the perspective was uniquely masculine, and the story was told completely from Lev’s point of view.  Macho mentality all the way!  Kolya for example was a handsome womanizing soldier accused of desertion.  But in reality, his real vice involved his other controlling entity residing between his legs.  No matter how bleak a situation became, Kolya always made time to deal with his favorite appendage and all of its needs, wants and fantasies.  This made for some comedic episodes in an otherwise terrifying ordeal.  Unlike Kolya, Lev had barely discovered, let alone explored, his urges around females.  Lev’s priorities were food, shelter and sleep, and his fight for survival overshadowed many typical male yearnings.  Pairing Lev with Kolya was masterful and immensely entertaining to read (surely a movie will be made from Benioff’s masterpiece).  When the pair encountered an assassin, and then traveled through harsh, frozen, Russian terrain with the new companion, things really began to heat up.  The novel also had a fantastic, rewarding yet heartrending finale.  You have to read this novel!

This will be in my list of top ten books that I will have my own sons read someday.  Hopefully “City of Thieves” will transform them as well as entertain them immensely.  I’m having a fantastic year with my choice of books so far.  Each book seems to top the prior.  This is my favorite book of 2009 so far and perhaps one of my top ten books of all time.

Jay’s Grade:  A+++

I also enjoyed the book:  “Shatter” by Michael Robotham.  If you are in the mood for a crafty thriller, this might be the book for you.