Codependent romances are quite complicated things. It appears that when David Hasselhoff was hospitalized with a seizure from too much booze in a 48 hour time frame, then put under psychiatric watch for 72 hours at Cedars Sinai hospital, that Pamela Bach, the Hoff’s ex-wife also took to the bottle in sympathy.

TMZ is reporting that while Bach was comforting their kids, she threw back a few drinks, jumped in her car and got pinged  with a DUI, Saturday breathilizing at .14.

Her bail was $15,000 and Pam was released from the holding pen for naughty Malibu housewives, Sunday morning.

Um… it’s almost 98% impossible to get a DUI in Hollywood or LA, so Pam must have been soooooooo wasted! Usually when a celebrity gets a DUI it is on purpose for publicity here in Los Angeles. Police are way too busy and under-resourced to worry about drunks on the road. This is LA reality and life in a big city of $20 million people.

Although Pamela Bach and the The Hoff’s logic is totally screwed, you still just have to love Hollywood families though don’t you. The Hasselhoff’s are certainly a reminder that there’s no perfect families in the world. They should just buy a brewery like the McCains did and call it a day. 

[Image of David Hassellhoff and Pamela Bach courtesy of Ace Show Biz]

~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA, 11.29.09~

Tawny Kitaen

What’s in the store for you this week: Tawny Kitaen is officially charged and a Charger is officially suspected. A Bulgarian politician receives ‘highest’ honor ever, Tennessee applies for Statehood, and New Yorkers get drunk on a wild turkey. Not to mention….are you ready? Here it comes….the Patron Deity of The Bar Non: David Hasselhoff!  Click below on the title or link below to see it all.

Dregs

Nov 27: Bulgarian Prime Minister Receives Highest Honor

Bulgarians have decided to name their local brandy “Borisovka” after their Prime Minister Boiko Borisov to thank him for nixing plans to increase tax on alcohol. If you want to thank me for keeping this blog regular for over three months, you could name a kind of cigarette after me…

Hard to believe, but the idea of linking booze and politicians isn’t new. Russians did the same with Putin and Vodka:

i'd Like To Taste Tatiana's Putinka

Nov 23: Tennessee Pretends To Be Civilized

In an effort to get the “Tennessee: The Trailer Trash State” motto removed from license plates, a Tennessean judge (pro’lly bussed in from San Francisco, or some other hippy sanctuary city) blocked a law that had been on the books since July, allowing gun owners to carry firearms into bars. If you can’t get loaded and drunk in Tennessee, where can you do it?

Can i Carry My Shot-Gun?

Can i Still Drink A Shooter?

Don't Worry, It's Still Legal In Alaska (i'm Pretty Sure)

It's Loaded And Me Too

Nov 23: New Yorkers Drunk On A Wild Turkey

Citizens of New York City had a lot to give thanks for on Thursday’s Thanksgiving. O’Casey’s Tavern in Midtown Manhattan master-basted a turkey for three days in peach, raspberry, cherry and apple flavored vodkas. The secret ingredient? Georgi, 100-proof vodka. The gravy was also spiked with distilled alcohol.

Georgi Vodka Ad In New York City

The Girl 'Behind' the Georgi Vodka Ad

Speaking of hot women and Thanksgiving, a shout out to Miss Demeanor and the excellent Thanksgiving spread she put on for me and the little Alkies, including homemade pumpkin pie. Normally i avoid Thanksgiving like AA in Utah because it just feels wrong celebrating it in Yeman without my family, but Miss D made me realize she and my kids are my family.

Celebrity Dregs

Nov 28: Tawny Kitaen Charged

Remember a couple months ago when i posted the Tawny Kitaen mugshot? Well, last Friday she was officially charged with DUI and faces up to 6-months and 1 grand.

While we’re on her, here are some shots:

Tawny In "The Perils Of Gwendoline"

Nov 23: Charger Charged (Well, ‘Suspected’ Anyway)

In a true example of Criminal Justice, Antonio Cromartie was in a San Diego bar the other night and, horror of all horrors, not only witnessed but became involved in a champagne spraying contest between two tables. Probably from a country too poor to pour, Antonio took matters (and a bottle of champagne) into his own hands when he chucked the bottle at the offending group wasting the good stuff. He cracked some guy’s head open and while police may be questioning him, we here at the Bar None are applauding him.

Nov 27: Hoff-pitalized

Wass'up!!!

Yes, ’tis true, the Patron Deity of the Bar None was hospitalized last Friday for a ’seizure’. (You say ’seizure’, i say ‘power barfing’.) Apparently, he’d been binge drinking for two days straight. Petering out early isn’t like him. He must be getting old. i’m a little worried about his health if he can only go on a 2-day bender. Rumor has it, his camera-girl daughter was the one who called 911.  A drink to your health, Hoff. May you be up and back in the bar None before you totally sober up.

Radar Online is reporting that David Hasselhoff’s last little hospitalization saga after a two day drinking binge, is more serious than just a seizure as first claimed.

Hasselhoff was taken by ambulance to the hospital on Friday. David is now under an involuntary psychiatric hold in Cedars-Sinai Medical Center.

He was picked up under the California Welfare and Institutions Code 5150 that allows authorities to take into custody persons they believe may be a danger to themselves or others, are gravely disabled or suffer from a mental disorder.  Cedars-Sinai doctors agreed he needed to be admitted, and under Code 5151, hold him for up to 72 hours for a psychiatric evaluation.

At least that will give the Hoff’s bloodstream a chance to stabilize without any more alcohol being added to it. What a hard bitten dude Knight Rider turned out to be. Hasselhoff knows how to use the bottle to stay in headlines. Newborn babies do that when they want attention. Poor David.

~Image Source: DListed. Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 11.29.09~

David Hasselhoff

Wie lange wird das noch gut gehen?! David Hasselhoff gehört mit seinen 57 Jahren wahrlich nicht mehr zu den jüngsten und hat seiner Leber während seiner “Alkoholiker-Karriere” schon einiges zugemutet. Gestern wurde der Schauspieler wieder in seinem Haus und wieder einmal von seiner Tochter Hayley bewußtlos aufgefunden. Vom Notarztwagen wurde er daraufhin ins Cedars-Sinai Krankenhaus gebracht. Ob hier Alkohol im Spiel war ist noch unklar. Eventuell könnte es sich auch um einer seiner ominösen “Medikamenten”-Unverträglichkeiten handeln.

Das David Hasselhoff ein Alkohol-Problem hat oder sich vielleicht sogar irgendwas anderes reinpfeifft ist seit seinem MTV EMA Auftritt ziemlich klar. Da war er nämlich wirklich nicht mehr ganz da! In den letzten 2 Monaten ist das jetzt schon die vierte Schlagzeile, wo es Herrn Hasselhoff aus dem Leben gebeamt hat. Traurig, Traurig und am meisten hat unter seiner Selbstzerstörung natürlich die Familie zu leiden…

http://24stundenyoutube.blogspot.com/2009/11/david-hasselhoff-besoffen.html

America’s Got Talent judge David Hasselhoff landed in the hospital again on Friday, this time as the result of a reported seizure. Hasselhoff has been hospitalized repeatedly over the past year, allegedly as the result of his ongoing serious alcohol problems.

>> Read more at SnarkFood.com now…

Image-Wechsel:

Ex-Michael Knight kämmt sich die Haare ins Gesicht und nennt sich jetzt Pony-Hoff!

A Top Ten Lips

More tips and changes from your Functional Alcoholic Slurperson (FASe). You know how you’ve put back a couple and are ready for the next one but everybody starts giving you dirty looks as soon as you make a step towards the fridge? What follows are ten comments you can make to diffuse the moment and get off scotch free…

From the juiced-box: Chris Norman – Just Another Drink

1. “My ice cubes are lonely.”

2. “There are sober children in Africa.”

3. “That beer isn’t gonna drink itself.”

4. “This’ll give me something to talk about at AA.”

Paris Hilton Drunk & Slipping

5. “Because doggie bottles don’t exist.”

i'll Take One To Go

6. “I’m the kinda guy who’ll take one for the team.”

7. “i used to be an alcoholic but my tolerance went up.”

Non-Dairy Breakfast Whiskey!?

8. “Friends don’t let friends drink alone.”

9. “What would The Hoff do in this situation?”

The Bar None's Patron Deity

10. “Is it sober in here, or is it just me?”

 Strong Acting Brings Out the Comedy in this One-Man Show

ComedyChicago presents:

Dr. Harlon’s Keys to Better Living

Performed and written by Will Clinger
directed by Kevin Theis
thru December 13th (ticket info)

review by Keith Ecker

It is in the most desperate of times that we become desperate for our search for happiness. In these cloudy days of economic gloom, war and reality television, many cling to religion or spirituality as a guide to a better tomorrow. The title character in Dr. Harlon’s Keys to Better Living considers himself a sort of shaman, leading the audience on a supposed path to self-fulfillment. In reality, the doctor is much more of a sham than a shaman, and his advice—played out vicariously through characters—is more of a sure-fire path to self-destruction than fulfillment. All this irony, and a very committed actor, makes this one-man show an entertaining spectacle.

The brains behind the play is Will Clinger, a veteran of the Chicago stage and screen. He is probably most known for his work as host of WILD CHICAGO, a long-running television show that aired on WTTW.

The play begins with Clinger donning the role of the over-enthusiastic self-help guru Dr. Harlon. Jokes fly fast as the doctor accidentally steps out of the spotlight and receives a call from his good friend David Hasselhoff. Meanwhile a video screen enhances the downstage action, displaying visuals that graphically depict the doctor’s terrible advice, advice that includes such nuggets as the importance of assimilation and suppressing the negative attributes of one’s personality.

After the first scene with the doctor, we never actually see the character again. Yet his advice periodically appears on the screen, serving as transitions from one vignette to the next. These vignettes showcase a variety of followers of Dr. Harlon’s advice. The motley cast of characters includes a father who will go to great lengths to get the perfect Christmas photo of his infant son, an American wine connoisseur dishing about his trip to rural France and a lounge performer who teeters between manic highs and depressing lows.

Clinger’s commitment to the characters represents a skilled comedic actor. Although his range might be narrower than other performers—some of his characters seemed to be slightly altered clones of each other—he does a convincing job of breathing life into each personality, providing them with unique points of view. And with only a matter of seconds between one scene and the next, Clinger pulls off quite the transformative feat.

The writing too is worthy of praise, though this praise is tempered by a couple glaring flaws. The play begins with a steady stream of humor with Clinger portraying Dr. Harlon, and there are some big laughs to be had at the wine connoisseur character who delivers a monologue reminiscent of David Sedaris at his best. But there are parts that drag, where the jokes are too dispersed to hold up the scene. There are also a couple of vignettes whose endings undermine the entire scene, particularly one featuring a hack talent agent who’s rehashing days gone by. I won’t give away the scene’s ending, but basically it is an unnecessary cliché that devalues an otherwise rich character.

Director Kevin Theis should be commended for setting vivid scenes when the only props available are a chair, a screen and Clinger. Still images of a landscape with subtle sounds of birds chirping and a frame of a cocktail party accompanied by murmurs and glass clinks help provide vivid, yet minimalist, environments for Clinger’s characters to live in.

Overall, Dr. Harlon’s Keys to Better Living is a comical portrayal of self-destructive self-help. At times the writing falls a little flat, but Clinger knows how to pick up the mood and get the play back on track.

Rating: ★★★

Production Personnel

Author/Perfomer: Will Clinger
Director: Kevin Theis
Light Design: Lindsey Lyddan
Sound Design: Joe Court
Stage Manager: Jaclyn Holsey

You might think we are in the U.K. the way sex topped the news last week. All that was missing was a cross-dressing politician. 

Instead we got Jennifer Lopez’s ex husband threatening to release a sex tape from their honeymoon. FGS, it was their honeymoon! As consenting adults, they’re entitled to do whatever – as long as they didn’t destroy the hotel room. Conan O’Brien had the last word on the tape: It’s the first J.Lo movie anyone has wanted to see in 10 years.

Speaking of Conan, how can anyone living in sunny southern California be so untanned? Maybe Sammy Sosa should ask for “the full Conan” next time he goes in for another skin lightening treatment.

Controversial beauty queen and former Miss California Carrie Prejean came out to promote her new book, for anybody who cared, but ended up defending her recently surfaced erotic video. Whether it’s a sex tape or not apparently is a source of debate since she flies solo on it.  UPDATE: Latest word is that she has done eight of these tapes – alone! Can’t she find a partner? These tapes must have been made before her breast implants.

Then we had sport analyst Steve Phillips’ mistress Brooke Hundley showing up on GMA “to take responsibility” for the anguish she caused by delivering his wife a letter detailing their affair. “I’m the woman he’s been seeing for a while now,” she wrote. “I’m not just some random girl he had sex with in parking lots.” A frantic Marni Phillips called the cops telling them a “crazy” woman was on her property. That was followed by revelations that Hundley cyberstalked Phillips’ son on Facebook, asking him questions about his parents’ love life. 

The Country Music Awards show in a thumbnail: Less big hair but still plenty of boots. Seriously, the show continued to display improved and impressive production qualities. ABC, which televised the event, shamelessly promoted the show at every opportunity — blatantly on GMA. Shame on ABC, but then the network has always been the leader when it comes to incestuous promotion, dating way back to when I was TV critic for the Fort Lauderdale newspaper.

Recycled Natural Gas: Let’s see if I understand this concept currently being promoted in Atlanta. I’m paying people to pick up my trash to put in a landfill so that they can charge me for the gas that it generates in order to heat my house. Here’s my get-even tactic – cut back on the “source material” I’m supplying them.

A Second Bailout? First we bail out Wall Street financially and now, according to reports, while the rest of us wait for the swine flu vaccine, Wall Street gets an ample supply. I guess we’re bailing out their immune systems now.

Best Fall of the Berlin Wall Joke: David Hasselhoff was there singing when the wall came down. They asked him back for the 20^th anniversary celebration but this time they immediately started building a new wall – around him while he was singing, joked Jay Leno. Also from Leno, Glenn Beck was back on the air this week after surgery, but the doctors warned him to take it easy. They told him he can only compare Obama to Hitler three times an hour.

Commercial of the week that leaves your mouth hanging open: Levi Johnston (“Bristol Palin’s Baby Daddy”) walks out on stage with a bodyguard and cracks open a pistachio. Voice over: Levi does it with protection now.

Most Reassuring Commercial: Chevy’s TV spot taking on Honda by showing Chevy’s line up that offers better gas mileage. Yes, America, we can do it! Great punch line with Howie Long saying that Honda does make something Chevy can’t compete with – lawnmowers.

Fear of Flying? After their pilot got arrested in London for showing up drunk maybe United Airlines should resurrect their old slogan, Fly the Friendly Skies. Wonder if the passengers got free drinks because the flight was delayed? Speaking of flying, NBC should resurrect “Where in the World is Matt Lauer?” on the Today show and have him fly Northwest Airlines.

Worst Christmas Gift Idea: Chia Obama — “In honor of our 44^th U.S. President” the Chia website proclaims. Yeah, right! They’re just trying to make a buck off that annually recycled product, which amazingly has survived all these years. Unbelievable!  https://www.chiaobama.com/flare/next

Oh yes, the President departed on his Far East tour last week.

Találtam a céges gépemen hülye, vicces képeket. Kénytelen vagyok elhelyezni viszonylag biztonságos helyre ezeket a képeket. Tudom, hogy orrvérzésig lehetne találni olyan oldalakat, ahol fárasztóbbnál fárasztóbb szórakoztató képeket, videókat, animációkat, írásokat lehet találni de nekem ezek kellenek. Valószínűleg bővíteni fogom a listát. Ha valamelyik kép nem ‘mozog’ klikkelj rá, utána láthatod az összes képkockát.

star wars soldier

parallel universes

ryan közlegény megmentése

shake your ass baby

matrix paródia

f.ck yeah

pickaboo

push the button

hello michael

cutie

team america

jean claude van damme

Eso es lo que realmente quería decir David Hasselhoff en su intervención en la entrega de los MTV European Music Awards de este año. El actor y cantante de (dudoso) éxito a finales de la década de los ochenta hizo aparición en la gala en un estado extraño. No me atrevo a calificarlo de etílico, así que no aventuremos, dejémoslo en extraño. Intercalando algunas frases en alemán en su discurso, Hasselhoff recordó a la audiencia que él estuvo en aquella fiesta que se celebró entre los escombros del Muro de Berlín en la Nochevieja de 1989. Estuvo allí y lo dio todo.

A pesar de que los de la MTV le dieron unos segundos de gloria, David Hasselhoff se merecía algo más.

El protagonismo de la noche, a parte de los premiados, se lo llevó la actuación de U2 en la Puerta de Brandenburgo. Era como para poner los pelos como escarpias, clavos y el resto de material de bricolaje que tengáis a mano, sobre todo cuando los irlandeses compartieron escenario con Jay-Z. (Ver a Bono rapear y a Jay-Z bailando como un niño no tiene precio).

U2 & Jay-Z – Sunday Blooday Sunday

Ya sé que David Hasselhoff es un personaje que está cayendo en la decadencia, por sus aparaciones estelares en el Youtube , sus problemas con el alcohol y porque ya vendió todo el bacalao que tenía que vender. También soy consciente de que Bono y los suyos son el grupo perfecto para este tipo de actos. Son una banda de rock liderada por una hermanita de la caridad que se queda en la ONU cuando hacen merienda cena y todas esas cosas.

Voy a ser osada y voy a romper una lanza a favor de Hasselhoff. Concibo los MTV European Music Awards como una ceremonia hortera y kitsch. Por eso me gusta verla. Y por eso creo que la actuación de nuestro querido Mitch Buchanan con su bufanda-piano y su chaqueta con luces hubiese sido más apropiada para la ocasión.

David Hasselhoff – Looking For Freedom

Agradecimientos a: Emperador de los Helados

Richard Herring irreverently intertwines the fall of communism with the rise of David Hasselhoff.

In 1989, David Hasselhoff was between jobs. Knight Rider had been cancelled a few years earlier; Baywatch had yet to rescue his career, so he decided to become a pop star. And had some success. His single, Looking For Freedom, reached number one in Austria, Switzerland, and West Germany, helped by his bright idea of taking the talking car from Knight Rider on stage with him.

Meanwhile, the wheels of history turned. Communist Hungary removed its travel restrictions with Austria, allowing thousands of East German tourists to escape to Austria and enter West Germany. While weekly protests grew, Hasselhoff’s song pumped away relentlessly in the discos of West Berlin. On 9 November 1989 the Wall fell. To ring in the New Year, there was no question as to who would best symbolize a new beginning and freedom – The Hoff. After spending almost two months at number one, David Hasselhoff performed Looking For Freedom live on top of the Berlin Wall in front of hundreds of thousands of Germans – and walked into the history books.

Today several world leaders are in Berlin celebrating the 20th anniversary of the Fall of the Berlin Wall. Sadly missing from the celebratory events is David “The Hoff” Hasselhoff to sing, “Looking for Freedom”. To commemorate this great event, here is a clip from the Hoff performing on top of the Berlin Wall New Years Eve 1990. With it’s indelible lyrics “I’ve been lookin’ for freedom; I’ve been lookin’ so long; I’ve been lookin’ for freedom; still the search goes on”, the song served as the anthem for the Fall as it embodied the frustrations of the Germans over the divisions. It is a shame Germany still refuses to acknowledge or honor the Hoff for his reunion efforts. No statues, no monuments, or even a picture at the Berlin Museum. Despite the lack of recognition, the Hoff continues to make peacemaking efforts with the German people. In 2006, he helped its native son, Dirk Nowitzki overcome his propensity to choke in the NBA playoffs and guide the Mavericks to the NBA Finals. As you drink your Pilsners and Dortmunders to celebrate this great occasion, lets give thanks to the man instrumental in making this day possible. Tausend Dank Hoff!

Mischa At The Bar None: Gin in a Wine Glass (Ok, not really)

Oct 12: Drunk Man Arrested: Flirts With Nurse Delivering His Baby, Misses Birth of 1st Child. i love this kind of story because i can honestly say i’ve never gone this far. People like this guy make me feel normal.

Adam Manning, 30 years old, showed up at the hospital with his pregnant wife/girlfriend (the web has both) and started eying the nurse wheeling the mother of his child. Apparently he liked what he saw because he told the nurse how attractive she was, started tickling her neck and then grabbed her breast with his significant other right there in the wheelchair. His first child, a son, was born without Adam, who had been arrested by the Ogden (Utah) police. A drink to Adam for being able to get drunk in Utah to begin with.

Adam Manning's Mug Shot

Coming Up: Mischa Barton Bar Fight

Nov 3: Drunk Jockeys Ruin Mayan Horse Race Guatemalans gathered in handfuls in Todos Santos Cuchumatan (sounds like something you say when barfing, doesn’t it? “CCUUUUUUUUUchum-um-umaTTTAAAANNNN”) to witness a traditional Mayan horse race, where riders go back and forth along a 330-foot stretch of road for seven hours. Unfortunately, things turned ugly because many of the jockeys were wasted on the moonshine they’d started pounding days before the contest. Apparently no one told them the ancient Mayans didn’t intend the race to be a drinking game (“What? This isn’t called ‘Quarters Horses’?”). At least two riders fell off their mounts; one was trampled and carried out of the mud by the crowd, another was seen stumbling off the track all bloodied. But hey, wouldn’t you get as drunk as possible whenever possible if your ancestors told you the world was going to end in two years?

Nov 4: Underage Man in Breathalyzer Suit Busted for DUI. On Halloween evening in Oxford, Ohio, 20-year-old James P Miller decided to drive the wrong way down a one-way street with his headlights off. An even worse idea was doing this while wearing a Breathalyzer costume. And holding an open beer. With more in the trunk. He was busted for:

1. Operating a motor vehicle while intoxicated
2. Underage possession of alcohol
3. Having an open container of alcohol
4. Possessing a fake i.d.
5. Driving the wrong way on a one-way street
6. Being a rocket scientist (yeah, not really)

He blew a 0.158, nearly twice the legal limit of 0.08. (Click here to see the BAC scale.) My question is, did the police make him blow himself?

Is It Just Me Or Is His Straw Bent?

Nov. 6: Drunk Driver Calls 911 For Stolen Weed Remember the woman who called 911 to report herself as a drunk driver? Calvin Hoover (21-years-old) did her one better. He called 9-1-1 in Salem, Oregon to report that, while he was in a bar, someone broke into his pickup and stole $400, a jacket and $180 worth of marijuana. Police tried to track him down but couldn’t. Fortunately, he called back and asked what the F was up, complaining that the deputies had not arrived. Apparently it was difficult to understand him because he was driving and puking simultaneously. (i bet he was just saying ”Cuchumatan”.) The cops finally tracked him down and arrested him for DWI. The good news was, because he didn’t have his weed, he couldn’t be busted for possession.

Calvin Hoover Mug Shot

You think that’s funny? Take a look at this comment posted on the newspaper site i linked in the headline:

“i just dont know what to say here, this is too funny! ex-oregon, been around the stuff with those who smoke, here, around with those who smoke. i must be weird, its the only explaination they give me for hanging around me. . . ok? used to it. i dont smoke the stuff, never have, not my thing to find my area? love my beer though! in this heat, ya gotta find a mellow balance, an pass a pis# test, shucks! this guy is a insult to the true beer culture, dont let this goof stop ya from a cold one every once in awhile. good beer, with freinds, after a rough day, can cure all. cold beer after a rough day for you, an spouse, can give folks ability to vent, an after, get along an have a good time! a choice of drug depends on person, think about it? coffee, vitamins, food types, its all about us! this guy only needs his ##s kicked till tomorrow. abuse comes in substance, human, an thought. i love my doctor, but she still wont give ma a brain transplant, i just want to change my mind, thats all!”

That’s me for you, always going the extra mile to bring you the behind the scenes story.

No, i haven’t forgotten about the Mischa Barton Bar Fight!

Mischa Barton In (and a little 'out of') Dior

Celebrity Dregs

Nov 3: i Wanna Party With Kiefer Sutherland (And TMZ Says So Too) Keifer Sutherland took fellow cast members of 24 out for a drink, at 7 in the morning. Generous soul that he is, he paid the $500 tab himself and left a $200 tip. The party wrapped up at 1pm. The thing that gets me is that he was drinking with 30 people and the tab only comes to $17 per person after drinking for 6 hours. Either The Spot is a super cheap bar or the other members of 24 don’t know how to drink like Kiefer. Anyway, the next time Kiefer’s in The Bar None, i’ll give him the runs for his money.

Plus He Came With A Designated Driver! What A Guy!

Oct 31: A Drunk Hugh Grant Gets Shot Down Things didn’t work out so well for Hugh Grant Halloween weekend. He was photographed at the Standard Hotel in New York, drunk off his barstool. He was hitting on this cute Israeli model, Matar Cohen, who dropped him like a cheap drink because he was too old (he’s 49, she’s 23). Has he forgotten that the best way to get a sure connection is to pay for it? [Thanks to Miss Demeanor for bringing this to my attention. MWAH]

"You're So Sexy When You're Plastred."

We Wanna Party Like the HOFF Parties

Two, count ‘m TWO stories about the Bar None’s Patron Deity this past week. (He must be slowing down in his old age.)

Nov 4: Pissed-Hoff A Loser If you’re gonna drink and gamble, it’s best to do it in Canada. At least that’s what Play-Hoffs decided. Seems he went to the Cascade Casino in British Columbia and got in a fight with an old person (there’s one fight he knows he can win). Security was called and three guards escorted him off the premises. He was seen drinking again seven hours later.

Nov 5: Ich Ben Ein Boozer The above bender apparently continued, because the very next day and on a completely different continent, the Hoff was visibly buzzed while making a speech to Germans at The European Music Awards.

Click On Image To See For Yourself

Nov 3: Mischa Barton’s Bar Brawl

What Mischa Looks Out Of The Bar None

[The mugshot is from a December 2007 DUI bust in West Hollywood.]

Mischa was at this NYC bar called the Park Bar (and the Park Bar people are bumming that i already got the name The Bar None) looking hot because that’s what she does best. Then this guy comes up and throws his drink on her, and doesn’t even lick it off her afterwards! Apparently it was payback because Mischa had stepped on his toes while coming back from the bar. So she throws her drink at him! Auuggghhh! Alcohol abuse at its worst! And then one of Mischa’s friends whips out his cocktail weenie and waggles it at the guy. Yeah, that would scare me, too. So the guys go outside to fight and apparently the guy who started it all lost. If you ask me, though, the real losers are these people who go around casually dumping their alcohol when there are people sober in India. The only throwing you should do with alcohol is up.

Here’s what i mean about Mischa looking good because she has to:

Wenn ich mir Twitter so anschauen, sehen gerade alle irgendwas im Fernsehn, das ich nicht sehe. Irgendwas von wegen 20 Jahre Mauerfall. Ich war damals erst 5und muss gestehen, meine Erinnerungen sind mehr als verschwommen.  Der 9. November hat im Laufe der Zeit einiges durchgemacht.

Ein weiterer Schlag: Niemand will ernsthaft anerkennen, dass DIESER Auftritt der eigentliche Auslöser für die Wiedervereinigung der DDR und der BRD gewesen ist.

Das hat der Hasselhoff doch nun wirklich nicht verdient!

Und damit ihr alle sein Größe erkennt, noch eine weitere Glanzleistung dieses Ausnahmetalents:

Okay, before you guys whack my head off with a sledgehammer, let me explain why my supposed ‘Halloween’ entry is about 10 days late. The last few days, I’ve been working on two projects: T.Y.B.S. Weekly Sulit Bashing and preparations for my little angel’s 1st birthday concept. My wife and I finally agreed on the venue and which politician clowns to hire as added entertainment. By the way you’re all invited all your gifts are invited. So those kept ‘Ape’ the blogger busy. I still have a regular job so don’t call Social Services yet.

So there was this terribly organized Halloween program for kids in our village on the same day Typhoon Santi hit the country. I don’t really understand why they pushed through with it. I mean, how can the innocent little children in monster costumes go out in the open to get candies?! But no typhoon can stop the organizers and these kids from partying!

especially this man-child in a Trojan costume. He was really the highlight of my day. Effort!

 A couple of things that stood out that day:

1. One homeowner actually had cotton candy makers outside his house to attract kids (and adults) alike. It was the first time I ate cotton candy since David Hasselhoff was manning the beaches (and bitches) in Baywatch.

 2. Another homeowner was giving away, not candies, but JOLLIBEE CHEESEBURGERS man. Hands down the best gimmick of the day.

3. Saving the best for last…my little girl. Who was absolutely ’stunning’ that day. She was Tinkerbell. I’m George Estregan Jr.

Happy Halloween guys…(c’mon! I had to let that one out!)

Pagbigyan niyo na ang huli sa balita!

Twenty years ago today, the Berlin Wall came down, and everyone everywhere was freer. Obviously there’s only one way to commemorate such an historic day.

(Ed. Note: Dave thinks this is ghey)

A lot of the phrases we use to describe the ends of various injustices are metaphorical. We have to break glass ceilings, tear down barriers, and free ourselves from shackles.

While the Berlin Wall was, in some ways, metaphorical, it was also very real. Unlike the abstract glass ceilings, the wall was very much concrete—in fact, a large collection of it running directly through a major European city. The Berlin Wall was about as subtle as giving a literary character the initials J.C., or, in C.S. Lewis’ case, having a character (without those specific initials) forfeit his life to save those of some children, only to rise from the dead to defeat evil.*

*I highly suggest reading Lewis’ interpretation of his own character in that link.

This is all to say: The Berlin Wall was not subtle. It was totalitarianism and oppression reified in mortar for all to see. It was, as Ronald Reagan said in his famous 1987 speech at the Brandenburg Gate, a “gash” and a “scar” not just on Berlin, but on Germany and the entirety of Europe.

Of course, Reagan’s speech was more or less incidental to the gradual disintegration of the Eastern bloc, as uprisings in Poland and Czechoslovakia were more influential than the President’s mandate to Mr. Gorbachev. But when its gradual destruction was mistakenly commenced 20 years ago—the official who announced that East Germans could move across the border erroneously said it was in effect immediately instead of the next day—the Berlin Wall ceased to separate not only East and West Berlin, but Eastern and Western Europe and the Eastern and Western worlds, as well.

It is arguable that, in the two decades since November 9, 1989, there has not been a better day in world history, as viewed from a Western perspective.

It is not arguable that, in the two decades since November 9, 1989, there has been a better day in world history, as viewed from a David Hasselhoff perspective. Let’s just say he reached his pinnacle that day; those people had been looking for freedom for a LONG time.

And yes, that is a piano-key scarf.

So I doubt many of you were tuning in for MTV’s European Music Awards this year however I always find that Europeans have a MUCH more interested red-carpet attire than here in the US. So here are a few choice winners and losers as far as red-carpet goes:

Katy Perry
…departed from her normal “larger than life” wardrobe and donned a STUNNER to this red carpet. She looked girlie and classy all at once. Pretty impressive for a girl who’s claim to fame includes “kissing girls”

Jonas Brothers
…YIKES they are all so SHINY!

David Hasselhoff
…on drugs…flashing gang signs and wearing sequins?? Im SO confused, but it looks like he is too.

Juliette Lewis
…I guess shes going for that “im a bikers girlfriend who loves Madonna” look? eeeek

Backstreet Boys
…ok SERIOUSLY what is with all the men wearing SATIN….shiny suits are NOT ok

Lil Kim
…the definition of classy…

Joss Stone
…classy, clean, perfect

Leona Lewis
….oh sooo sad. I normally love Leona but this is WAY over the top. The MTV awards are casual and cool…this is CRAZY. Im pretty sure this is the sad black version of the wedding stunner by V. Westwood in SATC movie…she looks like a crazy over-dressed witch….booooo

Photos via mtv.com and getty images

Today is a special historical day. 20 years ago, by sheer miscommunication, the division between West and East Germany (DDR), and in many respects the conflict between Soviet and Capitalist / East and West began to grind to a halt.

If you read articles about the Berlin Wall, you would think that the 155 km, anti tank concrete wall around West Berlin toppled over, that it fell. Well, I am hear to tell you it DID NOT fall! In fact, the word ‘fall’ is so inaccurate a description of what happened I am going to set it straight once and for all!

Things began changing in 1985 when Gorbachev became powerful in the Soviet Union. By 1989, things had changed and people were leaving East Germany via Hungary and a complex train system from Czechoslovakia. The East German government needed to find a way to stop thousands of people taking well timed holidays to Hungary and Czechoslovakia and decided to grant permission for a few select people to cross into the West if it was a necessity and they had a passport. This new plan was set to start in a few days time.

A chap called Gunter Schabowski (new press person in the DDR) went on stage to give a live, global media conference about a change in government. Stuffed in his pocket was a note he was asked last minute to read out, live on TV. Now this bit of paper is key. On it was a message about the easing of travel to West Germany. Problem was that Gunter had no idea what he was talking about, he had no idea bout it starting in a few days and that you needed a passport. Adding to the nightmare, there was no relevant information on the paper.

The conference ended like this…

Gunter: I have one more announcement (gets paper out of his pocket)… people from the East will be … err….. (scratches head)… hmm…. able to travel into the West.

Press floor: Sharp intake of breath

Journalist: What do we need to cross the border?

Gunter: (looks at paper, finds no answer)… well, umm… I guess, and in my opinion, you don’t actually need anything to cross

press: (gasps of excitement) when does this new rocking plan start?

 Gunter: err… well…. hmmm…. I guess it starts… umm…. right now.

ROOM EMPTY. Everyone dashing to cross and see friends and family they have not seen for years.

At the Berlin Wall tens of thousands of people began accumilating at the crossing points (of which there were 14 with 7 running through the centre of the city). The border patrol men had no idea what to do, no idea what was going on and were totally overwhelmed. They had two options, kill everyone or let people cross. They didn’t have enough bullets to kill everyone, so they let people cross.

Once people had crossed they started attacking and making holes in the Berlin wall. It was then deconstructed, along with most Eastern Governments over the course of the following year. Germany was reunited a year later on 3 October 1990.

So, where is this amazing story is it appropriate to say the Berlin wall fell? It was smashed, it was crossed it was attacked, but fell? ‘Fell’ requires no united action so how is it a good way to describe the amazing events of 9th November 1989.

Anyway, ranting aside.

The Hoff sung this song about freedom by the Berlin wall in a fantastic coat so think it appropriate to share it with you.

There is the link to trafficking….. Freedom! He sung for freedom, we campaign for freedom? Are you with me?!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zXiClnK8oE

Your ever so slightly geeky Victoria Kuhr