However, once you’re in the discussion – or, possibly when it’s over, it should feel much easier. A weight will have been lifted.

Action: If there’s something you’ve been avoiding, you’ll feel better if you simply face it. Breathe into it. And read part 3.

Part 3: An easy exercise to deal with a difficult problem.

Just one dose of Screwitall a day, and all your problems disappear.

Boss breathing down your neck? Screwitall will make his breathing  seem like a gentle Caribbean breeze.

Kid doing poorly at school? Screwitall will remind you that those failures are merely trials that haven’t worked out yet.

Rejection letters piling up? Screwitall will help you notice that if you turn them upside down, the patterns of the words are really pretty!

Office dinosaur poop on your desk? Screwitall turns that poop into ice-cream. (Albeit, Rocky Road.)

There has never been a medical breakthrough like this one. Scientists have been working for years on something like this, only to have the actual discovery come from a loner Grandpa futilely working on a weed killer that got rid of weeds, and pesky lawn-destroying children at the same time. Imagine Grandpa Joe’s surprise when he accidentally drank his potion, mistaking it for his morning shot of whiskey, and then rushed to the hospital fully expecting to die from the weed and child-deterrent toxins, only to find that not only was he perfectly fine, but his broken hip was healed, he wasn’t grumpy even though he didn’t have his morning shot of whiskey, and his old-man smell had entirely disappeared. He now smells like a gentle ocean breeze.

* Office dino-approved

Grandpa Joe quickly discovered that his potion was good for much more than hip-healing, mood-altering, and odor-fighting. It healed pretty much everything that bothered anyone. Pharma companies descended on him like locusts vying for the formula. But after another dose of Screwitall, he told them where to shove it and is marketing his product solo.

So if you too, want all your problems to disappear, try Grandpa Joe’s Screwitall 3000 for just $19.95 a bottle. You won’t be sorry you did.

(Not FDA approved. May cause eye-twitching, excessive yelling, extra toes, middle-finger-up syndrome, and painful not giving a crap.)

Unfortunately, I was quite disappointed. The author suggested that a nervous speaker simply make sure to include standard speech components, like a strong structure, to alleviate nervousness, and to only make eye contact with the “friendly” faces. But to someone who’s nervous, this false reassurance does bupkus (Yiddish for “zilch”). They’re still freaked out.

Part 2: How can we address core issues, rather than a polite nod toward them? How does true transformation happen?

There are things about which we all worry, but that we try to ignore.  It’s the way we humans cope with things that are out of our control.  We don’t have a say, necessarily, in whether we lose our jobs, have a bomb drop on our heads, or have a natural disaster hit our neighborhood.  These things happen, and rather than worry too much about them we prepare for “just in case.”  We stockpile emergency supplies in case of a disaster.  We save as much money as possible in case of a job loss.  We purchase insurance in case of something else.

But how do you deal with the reality when those worries come to fruition?  I know some people who keep it bottled up.  I know others who spend their time grieving or freaking out.  Others talk about it incessantly.  Still others flee.

I would love to be able to flee the reality I see sometimes.  Unfortunately, there’s a complete inability to leave reality behind – to leave responsibility behind.  I’m good at pretending I can run away, but I really can’t.

Such is life.  It’s the reason I haven’t moved far, far away as I’ve often longed to do.  It’s the reason I haven’t aggressively searched for a job outside of the Bay Area.  It’s the reason I get up every day, go to work, exercise, pay my bills and take care of my family.  I remind myself that running away is for cowards.  Adults – the true adults – keep going even when it’s hard.

So instead of running away, like I really wanted to do, I ran – literally.  I ran up into the hills surrounding my neighborhood, past the parks, around the corners and made my way back home.  I ran the fastest 2 miles I’ve ever run.  And although I didn’t actually run away, running was enough yesterday.

Today, while having a discussion with my roommate, my frustration led me to say, “I feel like I’m stuck at Kids-R-Us, and I need to get to Men’s Wearhouse.”
Sounds a bit funny, but I really was not trying to be. I mean it. I feel like there are so many people I am surrounded by (in this case, males) who are not pulling themselves out of this rut of immaturity, and are inept in seeing that there is so much more that the world has to offer than petty issues.
Inability to commit to situations, people and events drives me crazy.
Insensitivity to serious issues and the lack of willingness to deal with things directly makes me want to grab people and shake the child out of them.
It is one thing to be a child at heart; a beautiful thing. It is an entirely other matter to act, think, feel like a child at all times.
Growing old does not mean growing up. One is an involuntary action, the other is a choice.

End rant.

PS  If you care about a veteran  or veterans in general be sure and let them know.   I don’t know what our country would be like without their service and I do not want to find out.

SDM

Assalamu Alaikum.

If one looks around these days, one will see lots of sad faces.

Apparently, everyone has a problem.

And you know what? It’s true. Everyone does have a problem.

Why is that? Well, it’s because this world is a place of tests, and the next world is the reward based on the results of these tests.

Those who pass get Paradise and those who fail get the Hellfire.

Too often, we forget these simple facts, which is why we need to keep reminding ourselves of the reality of these trials.

So, here’s another article to remind ourselves to be patient at these times. It’s really nice stuff – very simple but very heartwarming.

Testing, Afflictions and Calamities by Dr. Saleh As-Saleh (rahimahullah)

You don’t. You can’t.

You have to brave it out. You have to be you and brave it out the way YOU brave it out. Everyone says you have to “let go”. Of what exactly should everyone “let go”? Circumstances and experiences are not the problem. The problem is the follow-up. How did you deal with that situation? How did YOU deal with that situation? And whether it’s wrong or right it’s still the way you dealt with it. Now for the follow-through.

Once you’ve dealt with the situation, experience, trauma, emotional response, etc., you cannot let your following actions and thoughts be based and changed off of your circumstantial follow-up reaction. You have to follow-through. This is where we lose our peace. We deal with the situation and then become tense, protective, or any number of other behavioral actions that cause us to become ensnared in our own secret concrete  cages.

In reality, everybody knows that everyone has a problem with letting go. And truly letting go means we let go of the negative changes that resulted from our past experiences  so we can be freer versions of ourselves. When you let go you don’t have to protect yourself because “people (the person or people who ‘messed you up’ aren’t trustworthy.”, or distance yourself from people because “love hurts” (when you really mean loving that/last time really hurt and you never want to feel that way again..

Basically, get off your guard. Learn. Don’t strangle yourself. Don’t trap yourself. You’re too precious, too special, too unique, too wonderfull human to make the location of your everyday life a traveling prison.

So I’m not saying “Let Go”. And I’m not saying be stupid and trust everyone and love everyone and give all the great parts of you away. I’m saying use wisdom, be cautious but not afraid. Learn to judge what is THE reality not YOUR reality (as you perceive it or based off of bad experiences). Everyone hurts, feels and hates. Nobody wants to feel pain, especially masochists. In fact, I think masochism is they’re way of dealing with pain. We all have to live in reality, but it’s so much sweeter when you can be yourself in reality—react as yourself in reality. That’s how you can be sure you are actually experiencing it. And it’s important to experience it. Otherwise one day you’ll wake up and realize you wasted all that effort, will power and magic on keeping yourself surviving and well. You were born breathing. You don’t need to try that hard.

I’ve got to learn when it hurts it’s okay. It is all going to be okay. It will hurt, it may even be a little traumatic, but I will not allow it to be traumatizing. There’s so much to be had.

It’s LIFE PEOPLE!!! Time to wake up and breathe.

I am. It’s only been a couple hours and already I’m feeling different..

How about you? Don’t you want to know how it feels?

This year has been a difficult one, to say the least. It’s amazing though how sometimes we work very hard at not feeling the pain a situation brings rather than work on actually growing from it.

This came to be my focus towards the end of 201o. I was and still am going through a very difficult phase in my life. I found myself in my late 20s,  job searching, heartbroken, broke, and lost.  I began to pick up smoking again. I partied like if it was 1999 and I acted like I was a recent high school graduate. It was the end of the year and I was back home so it was easy for me to disconnect from my NYC reality. However, on any given day, sitting in my parent’s backyard, I felt the pain begin to seep back in. I began to notice the amount effort that I put into numbing the pain.

As 2011 began, I decided that it was time to … soak in it. As the distractions faded, the discomfort arrived. It was a mixture of boredom and sadness. One random Friday night, I gave it my all. I sat down to watch a movie by myself. I did not want to see it. I wanted to get up and call someone but I stayed. I purposely picked a romantic movie. I needed to get over the break up drama. I needed to accept that this beautiful nauseating love story that I was about to watch was not present in my life. And I wanted to feel some sort of acceptance.

After the movies, I began to read. Then I began to write again. I tried picking up habits that I had been dreading. I began to find myself in these things. The pain was there but I actually felt like myself again. As I began to write, I began to ask more and more questions. And slowly without notice, I found myself carrying the answers to my questions rather than pain.

Eckhart Tolle said something about this in The Power of Now. In summary, he said that we don’t pay enough attention to our emotional/mental pains. If they were as obvious as our physical pains, we’d need to address them but we choose not to because the pain is not immediate. When I heard this, it made me think long and hard about how often I suffer and how I rarely can pinpoint why I feel the pain that I do.

We need to learn to face the pain. If something happened Monday, face it Monday or Tuesday. Try to. Let the pain sit and then let go. That way, you’re ready for next week’s drama. If you let sit there though, and go out and party, next week’s drama will layer on this week’s and by the time you get around to it, you’re going to have a lot of digging to do.

Next time you are irritated, sit down and really think about what’s bothering you. Ask yourself the questions that you need to ask. Why does this bother me? Why does this matter? You need to understand that although the answers are not immediate, you’re allowing yourself to respond this time.

Pain is necessary. It is a red flag that gets overlooked way too often. We need pain to change, to grow. So next time you notice yourself avoiding the growing pains in your life, remember, you need it. They’ll help you understand if you need to walk away, keep going, or change directions. Everything you need in life is already inside. You just have to listen.

Image by the starry-eyedkid.deviantart.com

Often enough, things in life simply don’t go your way and it’s usually in the most appropriate moment. You break up with your boyfriend in the week you have important presentation with your boss, or lose your job when you have a list of loans to return, you are very sick in a month where you can’t take ever a day off your program. Either way, with time you have learned to find yous own way of dealing with it. May be it’s crying or sleeping, may be it’s a really funny movie and lots and lots of wine, or simply a dinner with your closest friends.

Of course, you know that none of those things will help you solve your problem, but you need time to accept the problem and prepare yourself to deal with it. So what if you simply can not afford giving yourself so much time for grieving? What if your week planner is so full of tasks that you can hardly find any time to see your friends, let alone let yourself wallow over something, anything really…

Well, here is something else you can try.

And it doesn’t involve psychoterapists, hypnotists, wine, crying or pills.

It simply requires of you to have 10 minutes to yourself, and keep and open mind.

In Psychology Today’s article “Mind Your Body: Will Yourself Well” Laurel Friedman suggests that by simply convinsing out autonomic nervous system that a particular sensation is reality we can make it respond accordingly.

A very simple self-hypnosis exercise can help you reduce stress, remove headaches, reduce symptoms of illnesses. But even more simple idea is this one: it can help your lift your mood and regain your strengh when something stressfull happens in your life.

Here it is the exercise as a direct quote from the article:

“First, prove to yourself that your mind physically affects your body: Hold your palms four inches apart and imagine they’re powerful magnets. They will come together until they’re stuck. Now release them. Convinced?

Next, pick a one-handed gesture, such as crossing your fingers, to serve as your relaxation sign. When you make it, you’ll imagine yourself someplace safe and tranquil, such as in a forest or at a beach.

1. You don’t have to lie down, but make yourself comfortable. Quiet is helpful, but not required.
2. Make your relaxation sign and enter your place in your mind. Relax and fully imagine your surroundings with all five senses.
3. Your mind is now open to suggestion. Give your body cues: “I want to feel this way all day,” or “My condition will improve soon.”
4. Stay “Under” for as long as you want—10 minutes is reasonable. Then undo your relaxation sign. “If a patient feels more confident or hopeful after a session, he has succeeded,” Anbar says. No luck? Find a professional hypnotherapist at ASCH.net. “

and here is a link to the full article:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201010/mind-your-body-will-yourself-well

Hope that helps.

G.G.

Speaking from personal experience I know what its like to never want to go back to reality because quite frankly it sucks! So I never really told anyone why I chose to stay in Palmdale, why I chose to leave Serrano. You see my family did give me the choice, I did have a say in whether I wanted to move or not and I chose to runaway, yes runaway because that’s exactly what I did! I ran away from my problems, I didn’t want to go back to Serrano I had failed a class for the very first time, I was no longer a good student I just didn’t know how to handle that and I know, I know that’s a ridiculous reason to leave but that’s only the shallow surface as to why I did what I did! You see at the beginning of that summer I lost the most important thing to me one of the most important people in my life, my grandpa, never I mean never in my life had I felt that immense amount of pain about losing someone I mean I had a friend who died young and an uncle who shot himself but I had never reacted the way I did when I found out my grandpa was gone see besides the fact that I loved him soo much and he was like my hero I felt guilty because the weekend before he died my parents went to go visit him they had asked if we wanted to go but I said no I was getting sick at the time and I didn’t feel up to it… Well my grandpa, his memory wasn’t that great towards the end but my parents said that when they went to go see him he asked for me and my sister and I wasn’t there. I could’ve seen him, I could’ve said goodbye and I didn’t because I chose not to go and now I will never be able to forgive myself for it, it’s going to haunt me forever, this guilt. Ok well back to the point I was trying to make after I lost my grandpa I couldn’t stand to be in my own skin I felt desperate and I didn’t want to exist it was bad I didn’t want to see my family at all I would pretty much stay in my room all day. Well you can pretty much say I fell into a depression. So I met these cousins of mine or more like reconnected with them and it’s almost as if they were my escape don’t get me wrong it wasn’t like I was using them but I felt at peace when I would go to their house it was my escape from reality and went there every time I got the chance in fact I practically lived there for a month or so, they were part of the reason I chose to stay. The other reason is a lot dumber so to speak see I for some reason don’t do well with change and freshman year was nothing but changes my friends and I started to drift apart and nothing seemed the same anymore I felt like I was losing everything and everyone else seemed to be ok with high school and I just couldn’t get my stuff together. I felt lost like everyone else was moving forward and I was at a standstill so yeah I was scared. I was scared of what I would have to go back to of everything I had lost of what more I had to lose so I ran. I chose to stay in Palmdale because I figured I could forget my past forget what I wanted to go back to and yes I know it makes no sense but I just couldn’t face the same people anymore I couldn’t face my reality. I didn’t want to go back home and see the little house that my grandparents stayed in and where my uncle was at I couldn’t handle seeing what used to be without completely losing my grip of sanity. And now I’m left with a bunch of disappointments and heartache I tried to runaway from it but the problem is you can’t try to runaway from that sure it helps temporarily but sooner or later the thing you ran away from comes back and you have to face reality. I guess I’m scared of growing up because with that comes change and you lose friends loved ones and the people who you never thought you would lose go away at the blink of an eye. I remember when I was a kid I couldn’t wait to grow up and now all I want is to go back and relive my childhood because back then I had no worries I had everything ahead of me I had nothing to lose and everything to gain and now I realize that at one point you have to grow up and things change you can’t run away from the inevitable!

I have to say that I don’t like listening to complaints, because in my experience those who complain rarely try to do anything about their problems. If something’s broken, fix it. End of story.

I’m not saying that I don’t complain. You can look at just about anything I’ve written about  my depression and find quite a few complaints in there. The difference is that while I complain, I’m also in therapy. I’m on medication. I’m seeing doctor after doctor after doctor. If one person can’t help me, I move on to the next. I’m constantly looking for the next treatment option, the next thing to lift me out of this illness just a little bit longer. Depression is highly treatable, and I’ll go to the ends of the earth to find the treatments that work for me. So yes, I complain about my depression — who wouldn’t? It SUCKS — but they’re not empty complaints. I’m trying to be responsible and grown-up about my illness, as much as I can anyway. It gets me down and I vent, usually on paper or in therapy, and then I do what I have to in order to get on with my life. It’s all I can do. The alternative is to let the depression win, to sit around complaining without actively doing anything to combat it. And that’s the real tragedy of this illness, when you forget that you’re not powerless, that you can do something about it, that it hurts but that there are resources out there to help combat the pain.

There are a couple of people in my life who have real problems, who are probably just as depressed as I have been, and who would probably benefit from some kind of treatment but don’t seek it. I watch them suffering and my heart breaks for them, but I know there’s nothing I can do. Until someone is ready to get help, there’s nothing you can do for them. It’s awful and it’s maddening and it’s sad, but it’s the truth, and I learned a long time ago that I can’t afford to waste my energies trying to help someone who doesn’t want it. All it does is make things worse for us both, and unfortunately for my own sake, I have had to let those people go. I love them now as much as I did then, and I miss their presence in my life, but I’m already suffering from depression — I do not have the capacity to suffer from theirs as well. I won’t judge people with problems they can’t combat on their own because I have those kinds of problems too. What disappoints me, though, is when someone with so much potential refuses help with those problems, out of fear or pride perhaps, or maybe because they just can’t admit that they have a problem to begin with. That’s the real tragedy, I think.

My life is hard. But so is everyone else’s. I try to stay away from self-pity as much as I can. Every so often I indulge in feeling sorry for myself, but it doesn’t last very long because I know there are people out there who have got it much worse than I have. My life is hard because I am a student, because I am a long way from home, because I’m lonely or I catch the flu way too often or I have a lot of work to do or I’m stressed or my relationships don’t work out the way I want them to or I’m short on cash or I embarrass myself or my family is problematic or I feel like a small person lost in a big world … well tough. That’s life, I suppose. I have to take responsibility for what I can, change what’s changeable, do what’s doable, and let everything roll off my shoulders. The alternative is letting the depression have me more often than my brain chemistry forces me to live it. The alternative is curling up in a corner and letting my life pass me by.

I have very little patience anymore for those who can’t be helped, simply because it’s very rare that they actually can’t be helped. More often, it’s a case of someone who won’t be helped. I have less pity for those people, because there are resources out there set up specifically for them. There are doctors and teachers and psychologists and religious leaders and therapists and social workers and people trained to deal with just about every problem you can throw at them.  No matter what your problem is, I fail to see how anyone can say that nobody can help. Furthermore (and as I think I’ve said before) I can’t be bothered with people who think that their suffering somehow puts them above the rest of us, that they have a truer sense of life or the world. No they don’t, they have a skewed sense of things, period. The poet who insists that depression brings out the truth of life, who can only write when he’s drunk or on drugs, is of very little interest to me, no matter how beautiful his words. Yes, parts of life are tragic. Yes, parts of life are unbearably hard. But many, many more parts of life are breathtaking in their beauty, and the real tragedy lies in those who can’t or won’t reach out for them.

My dad told me something a couple of years ago that has helped me get through a lot of difficult times. He said that when something happens to an airplane — when it runs out of fuel, or the engines stall, for instance — it’s not the mechanical problem that makes the plane crash. Most often, the plane crashes because the pilot panics, and takes his hands off the controls. What you have to remember, when something goes wrong, is not to panic and keep flying the plane. At least try to glide down to safety — the alternative is taking your hands off those controls, and crashing in a fiery heap.

Whether it is scheduling resources for your project, completing the project on time, or getting customer acceptance, it seems that good communication skills and some creative thinking can get you through the most challenging times. I recall being in a situation where a customer was so mad, they yelled at me. You would think that would be impossible to overcome (and it was) until I apologized. It wasn’t so much what I apologized for, but the fact that I sincerely felt bad for making the customer angry. I was very sincere (in my apology), which is an important aspect of communication.

A manager told me once, “Sometimes you need to ruffle some feathers so that they can be smoothed out”. You will definitely have to break bad news to your customer or deal with some really bad situations (like them yelling at your or telling your manager they want you off the project), but in the end the customer will appreciate honesty and sincerity. Even when you think that the situation is impossible and the customer is Satan, you can overcome it through communication. Get good at this one skill and you can look like Superman (for me maybe SuperGirl) to you manager, your company and even your customer.

He didn’t know what was going on
He never had a clue
All he knew,was get the message through
not,what you were facing too!

Don’t shoot the messenger
He only passed the word
Don’t shoot the messenger
for the things that he had heard

He thought it of importance
that you should be aware
He didn’t know,and couldn’t know
about your current woes and cares

So don’t shoot him down for trying
to get his message through
he didn’t say it to alarm you
or deflect from what you do

He knew his message was not welcome
as he carried it along
He knew his words might cause alarm
but he thought their importance strong

He gave the message for best of reasons
Of you, he was thinking of
So shooting him’s no answer
and no problem will it solve

Sometimes we don’t want to hear
the news that is told to us
but shooting down the messenger
Will not ever solve its curse

If you can’t deal with what you hear
then put the news away
Let it sink in its significance
until you can find your way

But Do not shoot the messenger
for thinking about you
Sometimes the poor old messenger
rather not take the message through

Rod Macfarlane

Spirit of Prophecy Bulletin

SMALL STRAWS IN A SOFT WIND by Marsha Burns — March 2, 2010:

Yield to the leading of My Spirit as I reveal more productive ways of dealing with problems and stress. I will open your eyes and your heart to see and receive wisdom before you react or respond. Be quiet and stay flexible, and you will come through difficult situations with greater ease. Be strong, but stay humble, says the Lord. Your success depends on it.

Proverbs 15:33 The fear of the LORD is the instruction of wisdom, and before honor is humility.

One may have awakened in the early morning hours and read the Spirit of Prophecy Bulletin for today.  One may have thought it perfect and may have been so encouraged.  Thank you Jesus!

One may have entered one’s prayer closet at 3:30 AM.  One may have sung praises to the Lord, confessed one’s sins, thanked the Lord and prayed for a passage of scripture for today.  One may have been led to Isaiah 13.  Thank you Jesus!

While in one’s prayer closet one may have thought one heard one’s name being called.  One may have opened the door and discovered that one’s grandson may have been calling one.

The child may have had a nightmare.  One may have stayed with the child until they calmed down.  One may have re-entered one’s prayer closet to finish one’s prayer session.

One may have logged onto the website to pray for outstanding prayer requests.  Thank you Lord, for hearing and answering each prayer request, in Jesus’ name, amen.

Well Mercury is out of Retrograde (not that I take any stock in that concept) so we can’t blame all of the above on that. I thought to myself, “you know its all really just life and with life there will undoubtedly be some shitty days!”

 It’s a simple fact and the sooner we realize and accept that very real fact, the better off we will all be in life.

The Markus of years past would have gone totally ballistic and let all these unfortunate annoying setbacks totally ruin the entire day. I must admit a few choice and very appropriate X-rated words were verbalized in a civil tone in rapid succession when I turned the key and my fairly new truck refused to spring to life, just a melodic clicking and dull hum. I give it an 8, it had a nice dance groove quality to it. I’m happy to say the old blood pressure remained stable as a rock and my disposition stayed sunny.

I decided to stay calm and quickly put things in perspective, in doing so I used my energy to focus on solutions rather than dwell on the negative situations I found myself in.

When you become outraged, the added stress you put on yourself has some very harmful negative effects on your mental and physical well-being. Then when the damage is done, you are still left with dealing with the problems you face, worse in a drained and beaten down state.

I’ve painfully learned over the years that throwing a fit, doesn’t make the problems you face magically disappear; they are still there starring you right in the face. All you’ve accomplished is wasting time and energy. Holding onto problems and letting them control you and ruin your day is just ridiculous behavior. Think about the problem, find a solution, attack the problem head on and than quickly forget about the problem.

Having your doctor tell you have cancer, well that is something to sweat, the unfortunate stuff I was facing was all bullshit. Using my wings to stay above the bullshit was the right choice no doubt.

DEALING WITH LIFE’S MANY PROBLEMS:

Saints, philosophers, achievers all agree that problems enrich life as much as victories and happiness. What is important is to not let them intimidate you and develop the skill to use them to empower the self. There are many ways to do this; ways that help you overcome your worst fears and problems. Some are suggested by Tulku Thondup, an adept of the Nyingma branch of Tibetan Buddhism, in his book The Healing Power of Mind.

AVOID
An important thing about problems is to try and avoid them if they seem mild or temporary.

Says Tulku: ‘‘If we don‘t mind these problems, they will go away.‘‘ When you are not ready to face problems, it is best to avoid them. Only when you know you have the mental strength should you try to resolve the problem or release it through meditation.

On the other hand, if you are one of those whose minds are strong and who have a great deal of pride, it would be helpful to feel deeply the pain brought by the problem. This will help get rid of some of the pride by facilitating a connection with the very core of life, thereby focusing attention in the right direction.

RECOGNIZE AND ACCEPT
Recognizing and accepting one‘s problems in the right spirit is imperative to begin the process of healing. While some problems are evidently unimportant, others need to be faced in their totality. It often becomes a habit with us to push away problems that seem insurmountable, forgetting that they will reappear, maybe in a more destructive form. Identifying a problem clearly is the first step to dealing with it. If committed to solving it, each problem will appear easier to deal with and it is possible that those that we thought permanent and irresolvable will vanish.

FIND THE SOURCE
Now that you have the right attitude, it is time to begin the process of dealing with your problem. Begin with trying to find the source. To understand the problem, sit in a comfortable, quiet place that affords few distractions. Relax your body and quiet your mind. Breathe deeply, and imagine all your worries being released with the out-breath. Feel peaceful, clear and spacious. Allow yourself to be in that peace for a while. Then slowly, look at the problem you are facing. See it and also feel it. Acknowledge its presence.

Tulku Thondup also suggests retracing one‘s steps and going back in memory. Think of how the problem may have begun. Go back to the earliest possible time, place and source of the pain. See the possible shape, color, temperature and location of that place. As we begin contemplating the causes and feeling them, our healing has begun.

FEEL THE PROBLEM
See your problems objectively without pre-labeling them as negative. If you feel sad or wronged, even small issues could seem big. While healing, no emotion needs to be denied. Allow your feelings to surface so that they can be released. If there is emotional pain, it indicates the impact this shake-up is having on you. So it is good to cry as it releases mental stress, physical pressure and chemical toxins that build up when we hold back pain. Express naturally and frankly without grasping, hiding or defending the pain. Allowing grief its natural space to heal will finally lead to it running its course, says Tulku.

CHANGE PERCEPTIONS
Constantly dwelling upon a situation will make you suffer. Seeing a problem as negative, constantly thinking and talking about its severity makes even small hurdles seem insurmountable. Despite everything, remember to be gentle with yourself.

All this is about perceptions then. Avoid disharmonious words. When you generate strong positive energy, it can help cease, or at least ease suffering. Make friends with problems. When difficult emotions come, you can ask them what they want. You may need to relax and stop grasping, to take better care of yourself and recognize your true needs, or to change your behavior.

CLEAR MENTAL GARBAGE
A major goal of spiritual practice is to clear our minds of the intellectual and emotional garbage we have collected since childhood, so that we can provide space for true relaxation and enjoyment. Tulku warns that while positive thoughts become nourishment for the mind, negative views and passions have toxic effects. It is important to make a determined effort not to let our mind dwell on problems as negative. Occupy your mind with something else- reading, gardening, or painting. They are often the anchors that see people through their problems.

When feeling overwhelmed by sadness or loneliness, you can merge in the openness of the sadness. Allow your breathing to become relaxed. Instead of trying to push the sadness away, or labeling it as `bad‘, stay where you are mentally, open but calm. Feel your sadness without grasping or judging, just as it is. Relax and merge with the feeling, lose yourself in it, space into space.

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      by hellohello.com.au

For the past three days I’ve been working on some school papers including some personal documents that I had lost three weeks ago…..Now I am almost done with them but there will be more to submit for the coming days….As we finished with the old reports new ones are on the way^^…..There’s no time to procrastinate I guess^^…..Well maybe proper time management will do…..

Tomorrow we’ll be rehearsing for my co-teacher’s 65th bday…..Oh she is just so groovy…..She wanted to see us do something really special for her on her bday…..This old lady really never gets old actually…..Always young at heart…..Hope I could be like her when I’m already 65^^…..

I just felt like in order to cope with the pressures that come our way everyday……let’s always wear smile on our faces…..You’ll find yourself becoming frustrated if you deal with your problems too seriuosly^^…..Be a softee…..you can’t tame your problems or others if you yourself is coming out too strong…..It’s like “a plant can stand still even in a soft soil”……it will just depend on how you nurture it….how you take care of it…..in a nice and caring manner…..