What characterizes a needy person though? Is it a craving for attention? For something they don’t have? Do needy people act this way solely because they can get away with it or because they feel they require this attention? Needy people are all of these things and more, many more. The tricky thing about dealing with a needy person is that they come in so many different shapes and sizes that it’s difficult to determine why exactly they’re acting so needy, and why these needy people continue this behavior long after these needs have been met.

They lie. They will lie about anything, to anyone. It’s their way of getting attention. It could be that they want to come across as more important and/or successful than they actually are, or to garner sympathy, or to create a bond. It really doesn’t matter. They will lie about all
things, big and small. It gets to a point where the listener is loathe to believe anything that comes out of their mouths

They always to churn up some drama. That’s their way of saying, “Look at me!”, because, of course, that’s how they become the center of attention

They continually bring up “trauma” from the past. It could be the normal growing up stuff that we all went through, or a difficult divorce last decade, but they have the need to tell you how troubled they are by it. They will re-play and re-tell the same story for years without ever making any effort to resolve their feelings toward the situation..

Needy people needs understanding because they are like children. They are only looking for understanding and happiness in their own matter’s and way’s.

Shaykh Muhammad Salih Al-Munajjid | Language: English | Format: PDF | Pages: 06 | Size: 1 MB
Superiority Of Islam Over Infidelity: There can be no convergence between Islaam and infidelity. This book is an adaption of a friday khutbah given by Shaykh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid dealing with the reason as to why Allah (swt) sent his Prophets (may Allah be pleased with them) and superiority status of Islam over kufr (disbelief).

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First blog (Oh God I hear you cry, should I even carry on reading). Just getting a feel for the format of the site. and to give a brief introduction as to the nature of what I shall be blogging about.
I hope you will see it as a journey of discovery and (hopefully) excitement.

I have been share trading for 1 year now and I will give you more background information as to how and why in time.
I plan to list the companies I hold shares in and give an update as to how well or bad I am doing in each.

So starting tomorrow, 30 November you may join me and even share your thoughts to my trading decisions.

“Y’know, dude, in an ideal world …”

“Not until I see your ante, dude.”

“What’re you wantin’ with my auntie, dude?”

“Right here, dude. Up close and personal.”

“Dude, you just might be a pervert.”

“Dude, you just might be a moron. I ain’t dealin’ no cards until you put your money down.”

“In an ideal world, dude, wouldn’t have to be no dealin’. Or fleecin’, neither. Brotherly love and all that.”

“Who you calling a …”

“All right, all right, brotherly respect. Sheesh.”

“Well, dude, hate to clue ya, but it’s an I deal world, far as I can tell. Gimme that red paperclip and see if I can get a house out of it.”

“Or a mountain of red ink. My luck, any paperclip I got my hands on would have the mortgage foreclosed on it.”

“You just don’t got the proper attitude, dude. Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash. Then play for more. Your whole life could be waitin’ behind door number three. How you gonna know if you don’t deal?“

“I thought you were the one dealin’, dude.”

“I am, dude. But I still ain’t seen your ante.”

“She’s out shopping, dude. Helping to paint Friday black. Speakin’ of dealin’ …”

  - O Ceallaigh
Copyright © 2009 Felloffatruck Publications. All wrongs deplored.
All opinions are mine as a private citizen.

I’ve been mostly writing about running, lately. It’s generally going well; I finished a five-miler tonight, and did a 5K (not a race, just me) at a hard pace on Sunday night. I’m signed up for a February half marathon.

Boston has been kind to me; at least, the people in Boston have been kind. The new job is refreshing and fun, and there are always friends to go out with, new things to discover, new sights to be seen. The other night, a friend took me to Arlington, and from the top of the highest hill, in the quiet dark, we looked over the vast expanse of Boston, its lights sparking into the distance like a rippling sea under the stars.

I’m not alone, and I’m usually not lonely. There are three cats in the house, and at least one of the four girls I live with is usually around. The presence of other people in my life is comforting.

It’s been – what? Four months. Sometimes it feels like a year since my life turned upside down, since my plans went the way of Robert Burns’ poem, since he left. Time has not been fluid. In the beginning, it was almost as if each minute took a year to pass. Now: Thanksgiving. In a couple of weeks: The winter holidays. Christmas. Chanukah. My roommate is talking about putting a tree in the dining room. New Year’s Eve plans are being discussed.

But then, four months isn’t a long time. Not compared to a year. Not compared to five years. And sometimes the pain, like a hidden wave, roils to the surface. A memory, a familiar scent, a feeling, a longing, a joke.

It takes a while, they say. It takes longer than you think, they say.

I have time, though. Time to pray, to search, to let things dissipate. I have time to run. I have time to run.

For once in my life I’m not happy that I have a vivid imagination. For the last few weeks I’ve been carrying around a mental picture of what my breast might look like after surgery. It wasn’t based on fact, or on seeing a comparison or anything like that, it was simply based on what I was imagining it would be. This mental image was so bad that I thought I might prefer they just lop the whole thing off rather than live with my imagined result…A huge, gaping hole surrounded by scarred and disfigured flesh. So when I found out that my cancer wasn’t genetic, that I would be free to choose a lumpectomy rather than a mastectomy I was a little bit unsure. Outwardly I was pretending that I was happy, but inside I guess there was a part of me that was hoping it wouldn’t be my decision after all. I met with the surgeon to plan out my surgery and she strongly recommended the lumpectomy. As crazy as it sounds I was hoping that something would happen and I would have to have a mastectomy and therefore, eventually have reconstructive surgery. Sure I’d have horrible scarring, but it could be fixed. After much discussion about the upcoming surgery and what I could expect, I got up the nerve to ask her about what it would look like. I prepared myself for the worst. When she began describing the relatively small scar I was almost dizzy with relief! I’d been dreading the result and keeping it inside so much that I made it worse.

Now finally I can look forward to my surgery which is scheduled for December 2nd.They’ll remove the lump and a small amount of surrounding tissue, as well as the first few lymph nodes under my arm which will be tested during surgery for cancer. If they find cancer then the rest of the lymph nodes will be removed as well. After surgery they’ll continue to test the nodes and if cancer is found later, or if they find not enough good tissue around the cancer lump then I may have to have more surgery. In either case, cancer in my lymph nodes means chemotherapy. But I’m not going to deal with that possibility until I have to. Once I got the specter of permanent dis-figuration out of my head I actually got a little bit excited to move forward to this next thing.

come on. like you wouldn’t hang out with this dude?

this is Rabbi Baruch Chalomish. He apparently likes to party, and when he parties, he parties hard. So hard, in fact, that he’s been picked up for reportedly offering cocaine in exchange for sex.

BBC News reports that Chalomish rented an apartment for the ability to “relax and have a party” and, when raided by police recently, was found to have stashed 3.6 ounces of coke and £17,000 in it.  They also found rolled up bills, credit cards presumably used for cutting lines, and materials used for diluting the cocaine into salable content.

the article doesn’t say where the sex part comes in, even though it’s in the heading, but i think we’re all just supposed to assume that sex has got to be involved somewhere – everyone knows that with coke, one can find whores. It’s as easy as inviting a girl over to do lines, then being all, “oh no, where’d my coke go? i guess i’m out. wanna fuck?” But honestly, Chalomish looks so badass in this pic, i’m sure girls would screw him for free.

though one must argue that if his rabbi skills were as good as his dealing skills, that’s not enough to hate him. If i was one of his followers, i’d probably still keep the faith. But that’s mostly because i love things and people that are completely out of the ordinary. For example, coke-dealing, whoremongering rabbis. Challah back.

Everyone has these days. Currently I’m sat at my desk, it’s ten past four and itr’s dark outside. It’s also pouring with rain. Needless to say my mood is not at it’s best! Here’s my top ten list of things to do when you’re feeling blue.

1.Remember it’s okay to feel blue. And you know what it’s even okay to cry,(yes even men.) Bad days happen. It’s all part of life. Supressing your feelings is only going to make things worse and is by no means a way of dealing with things.  Tears actually contain hormones, so crying is your bodies way of dealing with the excess hormones created from excess stress or sadness. The same applies for happy tears.

2. Try and look after yourself. Cook a special  meal rich in mood boosting foods such as Asparagus, Grapes or Grains such as Oats or Barley products. Try and stay away from the caffene after 3pm. Drinking caffinated drinks after this time will peak you up and then leave you with a nasty slump for the rest of your evening, which is often the time we feel at our worst.

3. Surround yourself with light, especially during the long dark winter months. Add an extra lamp or two to your room. Put on some happy music and try not to let your mind delve into it’s darker depths. Keep busy.

4.If needs be, make  a warm milky drink and curl up with a blanket. Sometimes the only way to get thorugh the feeling is to acknowledge it and for a period of time care for it. It’s a real feeling and although dwelling on it for too long will do no good, sometimes it’s okay just to take things easy and comfort yourself.

5. If you’re feeling lonely, don’t stay that way! Make an effort to go out an meet people. Sitting alone isn’t going to help that feeling. That’s the only advice here I can give. It’s tough but you gotta do what you gotta do.

6.Focus on something. Be it work or a hobby, it’ll keep your mind distracted from any tough feelings you may be having to deal with.

7. Try not to listen to sad music. Trust me from experience, it’ll only deepen your blue feeling. The same applies to angry music. Music has a great impact onour lives, and the simplest act of changing your playlist can make all the difference.

8.Write a list of ten or twenty things you have to be greatful for.  If you’re honestly finding even that hard, start off with”I’m alive!” Many a person is not, so you should be thankful at least for that. Think and meditate on all you have to be thankful for and perhaps take steps to actively appreciate these things. Thank your friends or family members for being there for you; if you have a talent you’re thankful for, honor it, hone it, show yourself what you have and what you are capeable of.

9. Don’t humour the negative thoughts that pop into your head. Immediately replace them with a happy thought. Again, at first this may be reallyhard to do , and those megative thoughts might keep coming back, but if you keep trying over and over again, eventually things will get easier. The negative thoughts will go away.

10.Believe in change! It’s amazing how often change is the major cause of that blue feeling. Sometimes however, we may feel stuck in a rut, blue with our lives, unsure of why we’re still doing whatever. Either way, believe in change. If you’re sad because things have changed, tell yourself that that’s just the way of life, that you have no control over it, and although it may be tough you’ll see it through and be fine at the other end. Of you’re blue because you feel like you’re stuck in a rut, or are unable to dowith your life the things you want to do, believe in change. Change will happen, but ofetn we forget that sometimes we have to be the ones to initiate it. However, believe in it, see it as a possibility and change will come. Nothing is permanent.

Peace and Lovex

The following text is my letter of purpose for the Masters in Creative Writing program at the best-ranked university in the country.

The Dean
Through Channels
Graduate Studies Office
College of Arts and Letters
University of the Philippines
Diliman, Quezon City 1101
Philippines

As a child I would often spend school nights in my mother’s room, watching late night television and occasionally stealing glances at her, sitting with her back against the headboard, steno notebook on her lap, her focus unwavering as she angrily filled page after page.

For a highly emotional person, the difficulties of being a widow and a single mother at age 22 weighed heavily on her. Even though strength and determination have always been her defining traits, prematurely being thrown into the chaos of motherhood was far from easy. She created novels with a typewriter, a gift from her grandfather, usually depicting her American Dream. She wrote in her steno journals, night after night. For her, writing was a release.

Although I had already begun writing at the age of 10, dutifully chronicling the daily activities of my typical life as a fifth grader and experimenting with the 5-7-5 structure of haikus, I never quite understood what reasons there would be in this world for one to sustain such an activity, doing the exact same thing for days on end, until one is old, angry and desolate, and produce that much text to fill the pages of a newspaper or create a book.

At age 18, alone and parentless after she left to work outside the country, I retreated into the silence of my dorm room, scraps of paper in tow and high with the poetry of Dante Alighieri, making a mockery of the mediocre lives of those whose drunk, high-heeled steps disrupted my sleep in the middle of the night. So it came to be that, like my mother, writing became my own way of coping with a debilitating sense of abandonment and incomprehension in the way the world worked.

During the day I would be found at the far corner of an empty classroom, carving out line after line, obliterating word after word on my frail scraps of paper, trying to find the most delicious combination of words to channel the pain that I felt towards a dysfunctional relationship that was, yet again, about to come to an end. Writing saw me through my worst—lying in bed paralyzed with fear, my eyes dried out and void of life from painful refusals to come to terms with loss, failure, reality, norms, and even life.

Being a literary writer for my college paper provided me an outlet to contribute creative works spawned from angst-filled nights, contemplating life and its misfortunes. Although it was never a personal goal of mine to become an editor of any sort, as writing was already a joy and an end in itself, my stint as a literary head and later on, an associate editor became a rewarding experience just the same. There is, after all, a certain elation that one feels with his craft, that it is magnified ten-fold when he is able to inspire the same passion in others.

Joining the ranks of the working class was a challenging ordeal for me, as there is only a limited space for creative writing in bureaucracies and corporate settings, if none at all. Both my stint as a marketing communications assistant at a non-profit organization and a web content specialist for a travel company, however, gave me the opportunity to apply my writing skills for two entirely separate causes: to advocate for education and social development in the youth, and to promote local tourism (although I am not sure if the latter is as sincere in its endeavor as I imagine it to be).

The purpose of my entire being is to write. It was with writing that I essentially grew up—managing anger with a pen in hand instead of downing a bitter pill, growing calmer through stoical musings, and up to this day, basking in delight with things as simple as word play, sarcasm and metaphors.

My desire to pursue a Master’s Degree in Creative Writing brings back certain vigor to my actions and speech that I believe I have not felt since the day I was invited by the college paper to write for their literary section. The events of my life, as young as I am, have created in me a sense of certainty that writing is all I will ever want to do. To be given the opportunity to advocate and inspire this passion in would be, simply put, the next best thing.

how does it feel when you find out that a loved one has been attacked and abused?

i feel scared, insecure, angry, and worried.

yet, i’ve learned enough about truth to know that these feelings are all RED FLAGS that signal the absence of love+truth.

so the truth is that there is nothing to be afraid of; that my anger is a result of hatred; and that worrying is useless. the truth is that only action can produce positive change. and, ultimately, we all try our best to do the right thing.

in my most recent case, i have discovered that my dad is being abused at his seniors’ home by a care worker. due to his disease, my dad is unable to speak for himself nor is he able to protect himself.

after our family made the discovery and reported it, the nurses have tried to intervene several times, but it has continued to occur and, most recently, he was physically abused by this said care worker.

shocking, i’m sure you’d agree.

there’s no doubt in my mind that i will do whatever it takes to ensure this situation is resolved. this does not worry me. i simply say this prayer:

Universe, I’m asking you for the strength, composure, and compassion to ensure that i can help my dad to the best of my ability.

my strength comes from the belief that i am capable of dealing with the situation. my composure comes from the realization that there is a bigger picture–a grand design–that will ensure everything happens for the greater good of all beings. and my compassion comes from the belief that all humans are inherently good (including this abusive care worker); that is to say, we all seek happiness, and that true happiness can only come from Love.

i truly believe that if you ask for something that is in line with truth, then you shall receive it.

thanks for reading this post…

The Not So Dirty Truth About Acne

If you’re looking for an acne treatment, it’s best to know where to start. What exactly is acne and why does it happen. You’ll learn that the emotional toll can be worse than the potiental physical scars. Find out what you should know about prescription drugs for acne treatment. No need to panic, there’s still hope and with the proper game plan and tools, you will be more than prepared to confront this nemesis.

The Basics Of Acne

There are basically four types of acne; whiteheads, blackheads, pimples and nodules. Whiteheads are when the sebum (oil) and resulting bacteria are trapped below the skins surface and you can actually see a white head appear above (or near popping out of) the skin. Blackheads are when the sebum and resulting bacteria are only partially trapped, slowly draining out the surface and turning black because of your skins melanin or pigmentation. In the absence of either white or blackhead are generally (but not always) smaller pimples. And the often deeper, boil-like lesions are referred to as nodules.

Acne And Stress, Why It Happens

Lets take a look at some other popular notions about acne to dispel any other hearsays; for example, stress. Is it true that contributed stress spreads acne? Not exactly. What is true is that ultimately stress can have a very minimal or minor influence all by itself. It cannot actually cause acne, but it can influence reoccurrences of acne as stress increases the bodys creation of a substance called cortisol that in turn causes your sebaceous glands to produce increased amounts of sebum oil that can be blocked in pores. Note, however, that some medications people take when trying to deal with or treat stress can have a large influence on acne as the result of medication side effects.

The Emotional Toll

Acne is just on external result or surface deep; i.e. people shouldnt make such a big matter out of it, myth or reality? Myth. In reality, yes, it basically is only on your skin (and underneath the surface a little bit). Even so, the effects run much deeper than that in many instances. Any acne treatment should take into account that more than 50 percent of those suffering acne problems reported negative comments and other feedback from members of society, regardless of whether or not there was any scarring left for others to see afterwards. And ensuing internal depression and low self-esteem can be adverse emotionally not only short-term but over a persons lifespan. So acne can indeed be a very big issue involving healthcare treatment and support.

Over Prescribing Of Antibiotics

Non-rational prescribing of oral antibiotics in acne is common, and there is currently an unmet need for up-to-date guidelines that specifically address these issues. Presented here is a set of recommendations on the use of oral antibiotics in acne, developed by a group of European acne specialists, designed to be considered by dermatologists and general practitioners in their daily practice throughout Europe Recommendations cover optimal choice of antibiotic, drug doses, duration of treatment, combination treatment, and maintenance therapy.

Stop Before You Pop

People who are dealing with acne are often tempted to pick at or “pop” pimples or blackheads, either because they have a misconception that this is part of effective acne care or out of a simple desire to get rid of blemishes. If you are a parent with teenage children you will be reminded of what a toll dealing with acne can have on their lives. The most important thing to remember when dealing with acne, is not to get too stressed about it. A dermatologist can help you find the treatment method that’s best for you and can also give you lots of useful tips for dealing with acne and caring for your skin type.

For so long, well it did actually feel like it was months and months although it was really only a few months when things became worse, i was battling with my emotions. Nearly everyday i was arguing with someone, mainly my fiance.

I often found myself just storming out the house or shop or wherever in order to just avoid the confrontation of probably yet another fight. Although it has really only shown within the last couple of months i have actually been like this for a few years now. Probably since i left the army.

Civvy street life has been so hard to adapt too. Hard to get out of the routine, hard to find a new job and hard to gain control over emotions. Everything  just became a constant battle and i was losing it. Both physically losing the battle of living out of the army and the battle over my own mind.

Relationships both family and romantically became so hard and i always blamed myself for their ending when truth was none was ever really my fault although no amount of pills or counceling will ever stop me from believing that my situation played a big part.

It is not just the mind that becomes affected. My body has been affected so much, I dont properly and i have not eaten properly for some time now. My appetite is just so out of whack. Sometimes ill eat once a day and it will just be all i will eat. Sometimes ill eat like a pig only once or twice a day. Other days i dont eat anything at all. I never drink properly either. I think when my depression first started i was drinking maybe 30 or more cups of coffee a day. Now i barely drink anything and it’s not just coffee either now. I sometimes drink tea and i never liked the stuff. If i can drink alcohol i will. It does not help but it sure as heck helps numb the headaches i have.

I dont sleep much. I have had stomach ulcer problems. Indigestion, sever headaches and some really bad mood swings. All of this put together has done damage to my body both inside and outside. I have a lot of such horrible stretch marks from where my weight balloons and then drops. It is somewhat maintainable now although there are still fluctuations. In a way my body has got used to it all it is forming a pattern of what is going on. I am not underweight or overweight, it is normal. But when i had my bad few days it is affected depending on my eating or lack thereof.

I have no interest in anything anymore. I just cant be bothered with anything. I cant be bothered with getting out of bed, eating, i cant even bothered to even hug or kiss my own fiance half the time. Sometimes even when i am in a good mood he will try playing or kissing me and i just pull away and tell him to stop it. The least little thing really does just seem to piss me off even when i am on a good day.

I dont need to go to a gym i always seem to end up going for some really really long walks a few times a week. I only ever seem to walk when i am at a low point or another argument has occurred. I dont even feel relaxed with these walks anymore. I just still feel angry. I can walk for miles and i can reach my destinations so quickly. I have got a knack for walking now i guess.

It’s weird, i have put everything together and thought about it all, and to be honest i have probably been depressed for a few years but it is only the last couple of months where everything has truly got on top of me as things just seemed to have happened one after the other. Thats when the thoughts of killing and harming myself started.

These past couple of weeks are also the point that people who care about me decided that they realised they thought something was wrong. Thats also when they forced me to get help and see a doctor. I did not want to admit anything to anyone. I did not have the nerve. I did not want to get the help. So in part i dont even know why i even did. In a way i really did feel forced but i know its for the good.

That was last week when i went and it was the hardest thing i think i have ever done. I went although really if i had have gone alone then i would have just lied and said i went and they dint think i was depressed. Only my fiance went with me. I have to just say people are worried they think i am depressed and they believe i will do something stupid and i want too. I had to fill in a questionnaire and was asked questions. It was so hard admitting things. I cried. I could not keep the tears back when being these questions. I dont think anyone could not when the questions you cant afford answering. It was not fair but it had to be done.

Well all this was 3 days. I have got my tablets and counceling sessions. God it is so hard. I can not believe what i am going through. I really do not have any self belief. I keep saying i wish i was dead and that i am fat i need to go on a diet. I feel like everyone just treats me like a child and i feel like the whole world is against me.

I know i am going to have good days and bad days. Today is a good day hence why i am able to write this. On my good days i will keep everyone posted and i will give hints and tips on how to deal with it. ALthoughit is a good day, i still have my moments and something will piss. me off at some point anf i will fly off the handle at some point.

I may be the depressed one and feel that so many people have hurt me, but in truth i have hurt so many people too and it has taken all this that i cant do this on my own. No one can and i know for a fact.

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We understand the mortgage business inside and out. At Ioannou & Ioannou, we know how to deal with lenders to get the outcome you need. Some customers have been able to drop their payments by as much as $900, per month. If you need to reduce mortgage payment call  Ioannou & Ioannou, LLP at 866 910 7065. If you’re paying too much or just need a little help catching up, fill out our online contact form or give us a call. You will not be disappointed at what our home loan modification specialists can do.

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The markets are bonkers in Istanbul

African women at a craft market 2009

One of the grand adventures of traveling is shopping in strange markets and bazaars, foreign supermarkets and local stalls. Exotique clothing, native foods, unfamiliar local brands and all manner of trinkets and artwork can be had if you are willing to brave to hordes of people and the aggressive solicitation of local vendors. I believe the first markets I ever experienced were the flea markets that were famous in Florida when I was a child and today my travels have taken me to the streets of Mexico and Central America, the manic markets of Beijing and Hong Kong, the urban mayhem of Tanzania Africa and the bazaar bazaar’s of Istanbul and Kusadasi in Turkey. I have traversed the shops all across Italy, Spain, Portugal, France, United Kingdom, Greece, Croatia, Iceland, Norway, Copenhagen and the infamous Amsterdam. While I am by no means an expert at such things, I have, through these experiences, gathered a list of ten rules when dealing with negotiated prices. In North America it is normal to accept the price tag that is given to you, not to mention the additional taxes, but in most other parts of the world that is a more flexible situation and you should do well to prepare yourself for the rugged negotiations that lie ahead of you in your travels or suffer the inflated consequences.

A midnight New Years market in Hong Kong 2005/06

“The Ten Rules of Haggling” that I have come up are by no means the final say in the matter and many of you would be just as sure to add your own rules to the list, but over the years this process has treated me and those on the cruise ships whom I have passed them on to in good stead and so I now pass them over to you in the hopes that you can benefit from the times I purchased at the tourists price.

Rule #1: In some cultures the first or last sale of the day is an omen or is considered lucky

The fruit market in Barcelona 2008

Often times the first sale of the day is a sign for things to come and because many vendors want to get that first sale under their belt they are willing to give you a better price for the privilege. Also after a long day of dealing with customers you can often hang around when it starts to thin out and grab a real deal just before closing time. Sometimes just before a tour leaves a place, or the ship is going to depart I try to get a last minute deal on an item of interest. Fortunately for me if I don’t how the negotiations are going, the cruise ship will be back in a week or two and I can try again next time around.

Rule #2: Leave the tourist traps for the tourists, go local!

Busy market street in Florence 2008

A market street in Beijing China 2005

There will always be good shopping in the tourist areas, and sometimes you are looking for touristy items, but in this environment you will need all your skills to get the best deals since there are hordes of tourists just waiting to be taken advantage of. If you travel a little ways out of the main area, where the lazy people stop, you can often find quieter shops, often selling similar goods, where they are more apt to give you a deal since the traffic is lower. Travel even further to get to the local areas and you can start to get closer to local prices. Keep in mind that you will have to show some degree of savvy in local areas as people will often try to see what kind of a sucker you are before they give you a local’s price, but once you’ve earned their respect you are good as gold. Going local can even mean learning some of the language in the area as I did while shopping in China. Just by asking what the price was in Mandarin (Duo Shao Chien) dropped the price significantly because of the respect locals have when you make an effort to communicate beyond the numbers of a calculator.

Rule #3: Don’t bargain for things you aren’t interested in buying

Fish market on Lantau Island Hong Kong 2006

This is just a waste of time for both you and the vendor. Remember that these people are trying to support their lives and that while it can be fun to get a good deal its not a game and you shouldn’t go around trying to see how low you can get an item, only to walk away because you never wanted it in the first place. Some people feel like they need some practice before they get good at following these rules, but there is no need to bid on things you aren’t going to buy because, like poker, when your money isn’t actually on the line the game isn’t real anyways. If you really want to practice then proceed to rule four.

Rule #4: Always have a price in mind

Of course you wont know exactly what the local prices are without some local guidance, but you can still have an idea of what you think a fair price should be for the item you are purchasing and go from there. That way you know when you are ready to pull out your hard earned cash and make the purchase. You should obviously take into account the place you are buying from, the local standard of living and the authenticity of the item, and then try to aim for a price slightly lower then that, and by shopping enough, and getting good at rules number six and seven you will be well on your way to getting down to local prices.

Fish market in Barcelona 2009

A local artist creates his wares in Mexico 2007

Rule #5: Dress your clothes down and your smiles up!

Try not to go shopping in your best clothes and jewelry. Hide your camera gear and try not to carry all your previous purchases in multiple bags. All of these signs show that you are not only a very wealthy person – remember its all relative – but it also shows that you can afford to be separated with you money and that you are easily parted with it as well. I’m not suggesting you dress like a homeless person, but try not to be overly ostentatious or it will be nearly impossible to get a low price. The one thing you should dress up though is your face, with a smile. Remember not to take to seriously, especially when you are practically insulting them by starting at a ridiculously lower price then what they start at. Smiles are truly universal and can sometimes lower the price simply because you have made the transaction a friendly and joyous one.

Me in the mirror at a craft market on the Amalfi Coast, Naples Italy 2008

Rule #6: Feign Indifference

So much to look at!

Never ever turn to the person you are with and show how excited you are that you finally found what you have been looking for. Never smile at the item, or hold it up and admire it. Do as much covert research about the item before you ever touch it. Sometimes wearing sunglasses helps to hide where your interests are, but what I like to do is ask a few stalls what the price of a variety of items are so that I get a feel for the inflated starting prices. When I do end up seeing an item I am interested in I often ask about some of the other items in the persons shop with some level of excitement and then nonchalantly ask “well what about this one here, how much?” and then scoff at the price which is way to high and say “for this? Really, come on” and then place it back down for the time being. When I am in port from the cruise ship I would say “okay, that’s the passenger price, but I live on the ship so what’s the crew price?” However you decide to go about it, the point is that you shouldn’t show immediate interest in your item of choice as it will be less likely that the price will come down once the vendor knows it what you’ve always wanted.

A market outside Pompei in Naples 2009

Rule #7: Always start at $1

Me and a local artist in a market in Arusha Tanzania Africa 2009

It has been said that numbers and mathematics is a universal language, but those people have probably never negotiated in the markets of a country like China where I found that the universal language is the calculator. As I made my way around the silk markets filled with endless goods I found that most people tried to play the 50% off game. A salesperson would tell them a price and then they would cut that price in half and think they were getting a good deal. The problem is that salespeople all of the world know that game to and so they markup their items even more so that a 50% off deal to you is 2000% markup for them. What I liked doing was looking like I was in deep thought, SMILE! And then type one dollar into the calculator. Smiling is the key to make this game non-offensive to the salesperson. They usually grabbed the calculator and said “oh, you crazy, you very crazy man” and then proceeded to tell me why I should pay more then one dollar. Interestingly enough however the price would usually drop 50% the next time they punched it into the calculator. I would do the one dollar thing two to four more times before I really began the negotiations as this starting point was more realistic, but even then I wouldn’t rush to halve that price either, but would creep up to maybe five dollars and see what happened. Eventually I would get to a price that I thought was fair even though I know from experience that this procedure will still allow the vendor to make a good sale or they just wouldn’t sell it to you.

The market streets of Hong Kong 2006

Day or night there is always a market open in Rome 2009

Rule #8: Spend some time

Like Yin and Yang there is a fine balance to the art of spending the time of a salesperson. The idea is that you want to spend enough time with the vendor as possible so that they are invested in your purchase, but not so long that you become a permanent fixture in the shop and they know you aren’t going to leave without buying something. Ask casual questions, insist they help someone else, ask some more questions, maybe a little small talk, but do whatever you can to make sure that if the shop keeper loses your sale they have wasted all that precious time with you and since this is too big a cost for them they will surely be more reasonable. This will make them drop the price when you advance to rule number ten and can allow you to witness other people trying to bargain around you while getting a better feel for the salespersons methods.

The local bazaar Kusadasi Turkey 2007

Rule #9: Cash speaks!

A woman working on one of Turkey's famous carpets - Kusadasi 2009

When done properly, waving cold hard cash in the salespersons line of sight can often seal the deal at the price you have been trying to reach. This technique shouldn’t be used to early in the negotiations as it can backfire on you if you are too far away from the amount you are displaying. Of course if you pull out a wad of bills and try to figure out the amount while the vendor is present then you will have tipped your hand to them because they will see that you are in fact a wealthy tourist and not a poorly traveler who needs a good price. What I have learned to do to counter this problem is to have different denominations in different pockets so that I can pull out the correct amount without even looking. I may keep twenties in one pocket, fives in another and tens somewhere else and that way no matter where we are in the negotiations I have the ability to pull out the exact amount I am prepared to pay. This little trick not only works wonders in the markets but will also protect you from the threat of pickpockets since they will only get a fraction of the money you are carrying if you fall prey to their sticky hands.

A street market in Arusha Tanzania Africa 2009

Rule #10: Be willing to walk away

Silk Alley market in Beijing China 2005

Sometimes you can use body rocking to feign that you are willing to leave the shop even if you aren’t quite prepared to do that just yet. This will show indifference and will improve your bargaining position since the shopkeeper will feel like they have more to lose then you do. Sometimes however you wont feel right about what is transpiring in the negotiations, or you don’t think you are getting the best deal you can. If that is the case then be prepared to actually walk away. Walking away isn’t necessarily the final say on the matter as often times you will get chased down somewhere just outside the shop and given the price you have been wrangling for. If however that doesn’t happen check the surrounding shops and take another stab at it. Most markets have various vendors that sell the same stuff and one vendor may be having a better day and may make for a

Me in the spice market in Istanbul 2009

better situation for you to deal with. The biggest mistake tourists make is believing they’ll never see that item again so they feel forced into the purchase. As Benjamin Franklin said, “Necessity never made a good bargain”. The second biggest mistake is telling a vendor that the guy down the road offered to sell it to you at a much cheaper price. As a caveat to those who are fond of that approach, know that it will backfire on you as many times as it will work since I have found that there are usually a whole group of shops that are owned by the same person and the locals always know what the prices are, so if you shoot too low they will know you are lying and you wont have much room to maneuver after that. Remember as a last resort you can always make your way back to the original shop and purchase the item although this will certainly lower the bargaining power you have in the end.

Beautifully crafted lanterns in a market in Istanbul 2009

Not all markets are created equal, a street vendor Beijing China 2006

At the end of these ten rules you should not only have some great things to take home with you on your vacation, but you’ll have paid a lot less then most and will have some adventurous market stories to tell as well. Bargaining is a way of life for most of the world and can be a wonderful and often necessary addition to your travels, but always keep in mind that you are dealing with peoples livelihoods and that when all is said and done you should get a fair price and they should make a profit as well. Bargaining doesn’t have to be a win/lose proposition and with a little preparation, practice and patience you will end up creating win/win transactions everywhere you go. Happy Hunting!

“Life is the greatest bargain – we get it for nothing.”

Yiddish Proverb

A Murano Glass demonstration in Venice 2009

The former director of USA Veterans Administration Psychology Programmes, Dr Joseph Mancuni, looks at the challenges facing US soldiers in modern warfare, following the shooting of 13 people at a military base in Texas and as suicide and depression hit record highs…. From BBC News. Full story

This site may contain information about: canada recession. The blog is also related to: united states recessions.

Morning affection has got to be one of the affliction things about the aboriginal stages of pregnancy and ambidextrous with morning affection seems to be on the top of every abundant womans account of things to do. I acclimated to beam about it – I am a guy afterwards all – until I was at a bistro with a acceptable acquaintance who was accustomed her aboriginal child. She was already activity a little befuddled and aloof capital to get some acknowledgment and hot cocoa and aggravating to be a acceptable acquaintance I captivated aback from accepting the corned beef assortment appropriate alike admitting it looked so grubbin. We were accomplishing accomplished – at a nice table by the window with a little breeze Tania was activity a bit bigger sipping on her baptize while cat-and-mouse for our food…right up until the server absolved by.

Someone at the abutting table had ordered the hash.

In a beam Tania was up out of her bench and half-way to the restroom. I didn’t alike apperceive area the restrooms were but she had agilely scoped them out the minute we absolved into the place. Later our aliment accustomed and her abdomen acclimatized bottomward admitting we had to about-face bench so she couldn’t see the man bistro the hash. I abstruse a absolute assignment that day about how ambidextrous with morning affection can booty over your activity – and rob you of a lot of the joy of aboriginal pregnancy. I’m not freaking glowing Tania acclimated to say alone bisected badinage I’m ablaze because I’m about to puke you idiots

So how do you accord with morning affection and get your activity back Here are a few quick tips and a big articulation to a band-aid that may admonition you end your morning already and for all.

Get your Vitamins This is important for added than aloof morning sickness and I’m abiding that smarter bodies than I accept already told you that – so do it. Follow your doctors admonition and accomplish abiding you are accepting the nutritian you need. Some bodies affirm by vitamin B in accurate to admonition affluence morning affection but for abounding the added addition isn’t abundant and they charge stronger remedies.

Drugs and Medicine Now I gotta acquaint ya I abhorrence demography anesthetic alike to the point of alienated aspirin – but this is your adventure so you should apperceive about your options.

One med that acclimated to be accessible to women was Bendectin. This medication accumulated the antihistamine doxylamine with the vitamin B . It was frequently assigned for years until altercation over its safety–even admitting no accurate affirmation accurate this–caused the architect to cull it from the U.S. market. It’s now alone accessible in Canada. Today you can buy the two capacity over the adverse and the FDA has classified them as safe for use during pregnancy. If you appetite to try this option try purchasing Doxylamine and vitamin B at your bounded biologic store.

If these medications don’t work you may charge to accede a decree from your doctor. There are three abhorrence medicines that are frequently acclimated during pregnancy Compazine Phenergan and Tigan. Accumulate in mind however that Phenergan and Compazine should never be taken together. Lastly you can try the anesthetic Zofran although it’s actual big-ticket and abounding allowance providers won’t awning it.

Natural Methods Sleep hydrate and eat crackers. Hmmm seems like morning affection cures are alot like hangover cures. anyway

The aboriginal affair is to get abundant sleep. That little anatomy central you is developing at an astonishing rate and will booty up an astonishing bulk of your energy. Get to bed aboriginal abundant so that you can get eight hours of sleep. Also blow or alike nap during the day. While babyish keeps growing your own anatomy can booty a break

Hydration is actual important Remember to alcohol baptize throughout the day. Drinking baptize afore and afterwards meals instead of during will admonition avoid off animosity of balloon or queasiness. Water-filled fruits such as watermelon are light delicious and accumulate abhorrence at bay. Drinking mint amber or auto tea or lemonade is additionally actual helpful.

Now that you are awake don’t get out of bed yet Reach for some crackers such as Saltines or added soda crackers on your nightstand. Bistro a brace of absurd above-mentioned to accepting up will admonition achieve your stomach. When you do eat meals accomplish them baby ones. It is bigger to eat a few abate commons throughout the day rather than a brace of abundant meals which will booty best to digest.

No one can possibly know what is about to happen: it is happening, each time, for the first time, for the only time.

– James A. Baldwin

Even though it sometimes feels like I’m barreling towards towards the unknown, I like the forward momentum. Each new thing is something I can deal with and move on to the next thing and that’s the way I like it! Don’t get me wrong, I’m not thinking about the future. I’m dealing only with the here and now…I just want the here and now to get here as quickly as possible.

So far it’s been one appointment or procedure after another, but now I’m in for a bit of a waiting period. I met with the medical oncologist who is the one to determines if I’m a good candidate for genetic testing. She feels I am and has ordered those tests which take 2 weeks. Two weeks of waiting for more results…sigh. If these tests are positive it means I’ll be having a double mastectomy to reduce the risks of getting cancer in my other breast. If I do have genetic markers my chances of getting it in the other breast go up to something like 85%! Not really odds in my favor! That’s the future though, not something I have to deal with yet.

To close out today’s post I thought I’d share my newest inspirational song. It’s an oldie, but a goodie (okay, okay 1980 isn’t really THAT old!) and I’m not including all of the lyrics, but it makes me smile and I think they are pretty appropro!

Whip It by Devo

When a problem comes along
you must whip it
Before the cream sets out too long
you must whip it
When something’s going wrong
you must whip it

Now whip it
Into shape
Shape it up
Get it straight
Go forward
Move ahead
Try to detect it
It’s not too late
To whip it
Whip it good

When a good time turns around
You must whip it
You will never live it down
Unless you whip it
No one gets away
Until they whip it

I say whip it
Whip it good
I say whip it
Whip it good

By Melchior Kirchhoffer

This book by Melchior Kirchhoffer seems to be an honest dealing with the life of the sometimes volatile Reformer. William Farel was a man greatly used of God in his own right, but his greatest contribution to the Reformation within the Providence of God, was to convince John Calvin to go to Geneva and head the work of reformation in that city. Through this meeting with Calvin, Farel brought the greatest of the Reformers out of relative isolation and into far greater public usefulness.

Kirchhoffer follows Farel from his early days in the Roman communion, to his days as a faithful servant of God used tremendously in the work of reformation in and about Switzerland.

This is a very easy book to read and gives a very good account of Farel’s life and work. It does not gloss over the weaknesses of the Reformer, clearly detailing what they were and the impact they had upon his ministry. Neither does it gloss over the contribution that Farel made to the progress of the Reformation.

To follow my progress in getting this work online and to read the book itself, visit:

The Life of William Farel