With so many amazing national parks in the United States and Canada how are we supposed to decide which parks should take priority in the iFotoGuide development timeline?  Obviously Arches, Yosemite and Canyonlands were super high priority.  Why, you ask?  Simple –  I live in Moab.  Moab is smack in between Arches and Canyonlands, and I’ve spent the last 3 1/2 years exploring both parks with camera in hand.  Dan has been photographing Yosemite for many, many years and knows the park intimately.  It was just good old fashioned common sense that we launch iFotoGuide with coverage of the three parks for which we already have most of the images and data.  Our business plan calls for us to release 10 guides by the end of 2010.  That leaves 7 guides just itching to be developed.

Dan and I would like to ask all of you for help in deciding what parks to cover next.  We’ve compiled a list of parks we think should rank as high priority.  We hope you will take a moment to review the list and write your top 7 picks as a response to this post.

Your input is invaluable.  We’re not asking for your opinion just to pretend that we care.  We really, really, really do care and we appreciate your time.  Your answers will be taken seriously and we will use them to prioritize the parks within our development timeline.  Answers will be collected until Dec. 31.  Don’t be a slacker!

Note: I should have mentioned that the list below is in no particular order.  It was late and my eyes were so tired I was seeing doubles of everything.  Consequently, I threw this post together rather quickly.  Please choose 7 of the parks below and list them in order of importance.  If you’re REALLY bored at work you are welcome to order all the parks .

Our Parks List:

1. Grand Canyon
2. Grand Teton
3. Mt. Rainier
4. Death Valley
5. Glacier
6. Great Smoky Mountains
7. Rocky Mountain
8. Zion
9. Canadian Rockies
10. Bryce
11. Denali
12. Everglades
13. Acadia
14. Yellowstone

Overlooking Badwater – the point of lowest elevation in the USA – 282 feet bellow sea level, Death Valley National Park, CA. The little dots in the distance are humans.

I started to make my first post a factual post but since this is a photo blog I thought it would be better to start off with an image post. I decided to start with one of my favorites from a recent trip to Death Valley National Park. There were many photo opportunities in DV but I’d like to give you the back story for just one image, the thumbnail for my Death Valley Sand Gallery. 

There are several sand dune areas is Death Valley. However, only two of them are “easily” accessible. The first, and most visited because it is quite accessible, is Mesquite Flats near Stovepipe Wells. It is accessible right off of the main road that runs through the park, Rt 190.  The best time to photograph sand dunes is during the golden hours, just after sunrise and before sunset. The dunes run north-south so when the sun is low one side is lit with warm light while the other is in shadow. And any time the light is at a low angle textures will be accentuated, like ripples in the sand. Most of the images from Mesquite are a study of the highlight and shadow side of individual dunes.

The second dunes, Eureka Dunes, requires some effort to get to, including driving a couple of hours on unimproved gravel roads. These dunes are MUCH taller that those at Mesquite Flats. But after getting there I did not find the location to be particularly photogenic. I think, at least in part, is that the dunes run east-west so the setting sun light hit both sides of each dune evenly resulting in relatively flat light even though the sun was low in the sky.  However, I did make one image that I particularly like, the one above. Here the sun was in the process of setting behind the Saline Range. This put the dune I was on in shadow (cool light) while the front side of the main dune, in the background, was bathed in warm light. This only last a few seconds.

Not the Seven Wonders of the World, but the top 5 wonders of the U.S.

1. Grand Canyon

2. Niagra Falls

3. The Everglades

4. Mt. Kilauea

5. Death Valley

Coming in close seconds were: Redwood Forests, Great Salt Lake, Mt. McKinley, and Old Faithful.

(List and all pictures were taken from forbestraveler.com)

Last week I heard Sir Ken Robinson mention the Death Valley Bloom of 2005. He suggested that we check it out on the Internet. I did, and I thank Sir Ken for leading me to explore this amazing phenomenon.

Death Valley, California is unique because it contains the lowest, hottest, driest location in North America. Nearly 550 square miles of its area lie below sea level.  It is one of the hottest places on earth, attaining the second-highest temperature ever recorded, 134 degrees F. in 1913.

It contains the lowest point in the western hemisphere — 282 feet below sea level near Badwater.

In this harsh environment life seems rare.

Plants and animals work hard to survive. The landscape is barren, dusty, and devoid of color.

Death Valley averages less than 2″ of rain per year.

In the fall and winter of 2005 there were unusually heavy rains that dumped almost 6.5″ of rain on the desert floor.

Soon after an incredible transformation took place.

Wildflowers began to appear.

Entire hillsides began to come alive with flowers.

Splashes of color replaced the barren expanses of desert.

Death Valley was completely transformed in what has been referred to as the ‘Hundred Year Bloom”.

When we work towards transforming our schools, it sometimes feels as if our schools will never change.

We look out at the landscape of reform and see a vast desert.

Things look hopeless.

We don’t know where to begin. We get discouraged.

The Death Valley Bloom should give us hope.

The seeds of change are right there below the surface all the time.

As Sir Ken Robinson explained, they are merely waiting for the right conditions to bloom.

I love that thought. I believe it.

In order to transform teaching and learning we need to be the rain.

Make Rain!

pete

Don’t know what got into me, but I signed up for the Death Valley Double Century, slated for Mar 6, 2010, a ride put on by AdventureCORPS.

Now I’m having a bit of buyer’s remorse.

Gulp!

What have I done?

This ride usually sells out within hours of the registration going online, (there’s a 300 rider limit.) I decided that if I was able to get into the registration page, that it’s a sign I’m supposed to do this ride. The fact that I was watching the Adventure Corps website every five minutes for the registration link to appear had nothing to do with me getting in. Nothing at all. Ha!

In a bout of premature New Year’s resolutions, I hereby state that next year is the year for me to try to ride three doubles in California, so I can complete the California Triple Crown challenge, and get one of their “coveted” jerseys. (Don’t you know that’s the reason to do these rides — to collect more jerseys? Ha!)

I figure I’d better try this challenge while I can — while I’m still “early 50’s young.”

I haven’t chosen which doubles I’m doing yet, other than, of course, the Death Valley Double. But I’ll be choosing from the following list: Solvang Double (been there, done that), Davis Double (supposedly also “easy”), Eastern Sierra Double (this would be quite a challenge for me), or the Grand Tour Double (mostly “easy”, I’ve been told).

I also signed up for the Iron Horse Bicycle Classic in Durango, CO, on Memorial Day, a 50-miler over a couple of mountain passes. I don’t expect this one to be a big challenge (unless it’s cold — which is likely — or, gulp, it snows!). I’m doing it for the sheer joy of riding in the mountains with thousands of other riders in this classic event.

I may ride the El Tour de Phoenix in early April as a good training ride, the Mingus Mountain Madness Century in early May, (assuming they have it again this year), and perhaps Team Evergreen’s Triple Bypass ride again.

If I manage to do all these rides, (and don’t end up in the poor house because of it), I’m in for a busy season.

Gulp!

Just how low can can Houston Mayoral run-off candidate Gene Locke go?

Given a chance in a debate last night with rival Annise Parker to reject the endorsement of anti-gay hatemonger Steven Hotze, Mr. Locke did not do so.

( Above–Death Valley, California. The lowest point in North America at 282 feet below sea level. Gene Locke is even lower than Death Valley. Here is information about Death Valley National Park.)

If one form of bigotry is acceptable, why all not forms of bigotry?

Mr. Locke is a black man and you’d think he’d know better. All people should know better.

Can you really picture Annise Parker seeking the endorsement of racists?

Ms. Parker is flawed.—Though we are all flawed.

Her campaign has been depressing in many respects.

Yet I just can’t imagine Ms. Parker going out and looking for the endorsement of hateful people just for the purposes of winning an election.

Mr. Locke did not limit his offensive comments last night to bigotry. He struck a strong note of selfishness as well.

In his closing statement, Mr. Locke suggested voters should ask “What’s in it for me?”

“What’s in it for me?”

Inspiring.

Ms. Parker, in great contrast, used her closing statement to say the first decent thing I have heard said in this campaign.

Ms. Parker used her closing statement to say “I want your commitment to our city.”

I hope Ms. Parker builds on this concept of obligations citizens have to the larger community.

Here is a video of the closing statement from the debate last night.

Here is the full debate.

I have been going to Saline Valley for the last 12 years. Last year was my first Thanksgiving there… I normally go for Christmas and New Years. There are hot springs and great people there. I usually do a lot of yummy cooking. Brought my antique three burner stove with oven out there to aid in my culinary creations.

Saline Valley is pretty hard to get to – it is very common to hear talk of “the road” (the 50 or so miles of fairly horrible dirt road that lead to the springs) and talk of the weather (a couple of years ago my friend was snowed in for a month before the park service came and rescued him and the other people stuck out there). The nearest grocery store is 3-7 hours away, depending on how you drive. But, despite how difficult it is to get there and the various weather conditions that can harsh your mellow in about 2 seconds, Saline Valley Hot Springs remains one of my favorite places to go.

So, here are some pictures. With petite commentary. Enjoy!

Okay, Winnie is so cute in her cashmere sweater, how could I not take pictures of her.

I set up some an off camera flash to see if I could pull in the mountains here.

That is Jim on the right. He is an awesome dog.

Kids being very curious about the burros.

This is Hass. A new friend this year. He is holding a bottle of homemade crab apple juice. Super solid person. He runs a farm in Canada and is traveling for the winter.

My lovely partner – Loretta.

Minnesota Bob.

This little one came to Saline for the first time when she was 5 months old. Heck yeah!

Getting ready for the Thanksgiving festivities.

Garbage Mike.

Buffalo Bob.

The picture on the left features Mr. Me with my plaid and plaid and curly mustache… and Mr. Garbage Mike sporting his penis nose. The picture on the right is of Saw Jim – very cool guy, and he can play a mean saw.

There were over 300 people for the Thanksgiving meal.   

The next day there was a huge pot of turkey soup… and veggie soup. MMmmm, sooo good.

Gordon. Another Saline Valley “Old Timer”. Often seen with a video camera in hand and parrot close by.

Bicycle Jim.

There is usually some kind of music around the camp fire at the lower springs. That is Major Tom on the right.

And the reason we make the trek out to Saline – the hot water and good company.

Oh, and the landscape.

I traveled up to Northern Death Valley for a geology class and arrived on Friday afternoon just before sunset.  As usual, I took Auntie Em, our trusty camper van,  because I am too old to crawl into a tent and I haul a lot of photo equipment.  The wind howled all night and it was very cold, and I pitied the other students of the class who were camped down below.  The next morning, after brewing up a pot of hot coffee, I headed out before dawn for some sunrise photos before joining the class at 8am.  I put on my favorite Death Valley CD “Topaz” by the Rippingtons and drove up Grapevine Canyon, when the stereo started to stutter, along with failing electrical gauges, and then, a complete loss of power.  “Oh shit, I’m going to miss my class”, was all I could think.  I made sure that the van was safely off the side of the road, threw on some warmer clothes, and a backpack of essentials, and I started walking uphill to the nearest land line phone, at Scotty’s Castle.  Since there is no cell phone service in Death Valley, I figured I had about a mile and a half walk ahead of me where I could call AAA Roadservice and maybe, just maybe I could figure out how to get the van running again.  As I huffed up the steep incline, a park mantenance truck slowed down alongside of me and the uniformed driver leaned out of his window and said ‘I see that you’re broke down, do you need anything?”  “Sure”, I replied, “How about a ride to the Castle?”   “Sorry, it’s against regulations, liability issues, you know”.  And then he drove off.  And I kept walking uphill.

At Scotty’s Castle, I leaned up against the pay phone trying to get out of the cold wind in order to hear better.  The AAA Roadside Service operator wanted to know where the van was located.  “1.5 miles west of Scotty’s Castle in Death Valley”.  “Are you safe there?”, she inquired.  That’s a good question, I am 57 miles from the closest town, no cell phone service, I am waiting for a tow truck, and Death Valley was the winter home for the Manson Family.  And then she offers good news, “I’ll have a tow truck to you in 45 minutes”.  Now that is service, and after calling my wife to tell her about the situation that I was in, I began hiking downhill back to the van.

2.5 hours later, I decided that I have to hike back to the pay phone to find out what happened to the errant tow truck.  It’s now 10:30am and the weather is warmer, so I shed my jacket, and load up the back pack with water.  I don’t know how long I may be gone in search of a long overdue tow truck.  I hiked back up Grapevine Canyon Road for a mile and a half and I was just in sight of the pay phone, when the truck appeared coming around the turn in the road.  I flagged it down, introduced myself and jumped in the passenger seat.  “Damn, they told me that you would arrive in 45 minutes”, I said to the driver.  “Hell, it takes two to two and a half hours to respond.  I came from Independence on Hiway 395, which is on the other side of Death Valley!”, he grinned.  “So, what are we looking at?”  I explained that I thought the alternator had died and that if he would tow me to Beatty, Nevada, I might find an auto parts store, and with any luck, be back in Death Valley late in the afternoon to catch up to my class.  After disconnecting the drive shaft and lifting up the front end of the van, we started climbing slowly up the Grapevine grade with Auntie Em in tow.

About an hour later, as we turned south on Highway 95, our cell phones began to ring.  Mine was AAA calling to ask if I still needed roadside service.  They were calling me because Marley had been them since I was long overdue.   Yes, I told her that the truck would arrive in 45 minutes, and since there is no cell coverage, there was no way that I could inform her that I wasn’t laying on the side of the road somewhere in the Death Valley heat, or abducted by the Manson Family, the second generation.  We entered into Beatty, passing the Angel’s Lady Ranch Brothel, the obligatory casino, came to the major crossroad where the corner store sign read:  “Hardware, Auto Parts, Surplus Store”.  “Damn”, I explained to Shaun, the tow truck driver, “This appears to be the only auto parts store in town”.  We parked in a large lot and I took off jogging across the street to the store, where the cashier shook her head woefully, “Honey, we only got 800 people in town.  If you need an alternator, you gotta go to Las Vegas”. 

Now the good news is that the AAA Premier Roadside Towing Service offers up to 200 miles of free towing, and the total distance from Death Valley to Las Vegas is 182 miles.  The bad news is that we will get there after dark on Friday night.  So even if I do get a new alternator, there will be no one to put it in for me.   But Shaun and I keep driving and figuring out what I can do.  A three and a half hour drive meant that I can learn a lot about my tow truck driver, the worst accidents he has seen, how to extricate stranded vehicles and what type of tools he uses.  Hmmm, he has a complete set of tools in a large bag.  If I play my cards right I bet I can use his tools and his help to replace this alternator.  I am not worried about finding an alternator for a 1991 Ford van, because Las Vegas has 24 hour parts stores, and some of them even encourage the use of their parking lots for auto repairs.

Highway 95 south to Las Vegas is flat and monotonous.  Shaun and I discover that we both lived in Las Vegas around the same years and this began the conversation of what was the “wierdest incident one saw in Las Vegas”.  Somewhere between the hilarious and the strange topics, we approached an expansive, large barbed wire fenced compound complete with an airfield, access roads with guarded gates, and only one sign:  Nevada Test Site.  It was within a mile of this omminous location that we saw the only life form on the side of the road:  a man wearing a motorcycle helmet holding a short length of hose, looking down amongst the sand and highway debris of the shoulder of the road evidently looking for something lost.  Shaun and I quickly looked at each other knowing that we saw neither a motorcylce nor any other vehicle that could have placed this individual here in front of the Test Site.  Ok, we added that to the list of “strange  incidents” of Las Vegas.

Upon reaching Las Vegas after the sun set, we visited 3 AutoZone stores to finally find the correct alternator, and spent an hour and a half pulling the old one out and replacing it along with a new battery.  In the meantime, Marley made a hotel reservation for me so that I wouldn’t be tempted to drive back to Death Valley at  night.   I offered to buy Shaun dinner for all of his help which he gladly accepted, and he chose Arby’s despite my offer of any restaurant of his choice.  I think that his/our oil stained clothing might have been a factor in his decision.  After our fine dining experience, we parted ways and Shaun had an eight hour drive to reach Independence.  I had a fifteen minute drive to a hot shower, a king size bed, and a four am wake up call. 

Yes, I still wanted to rejoin my geology class. I figured that if I got back on the road very early I could drive back to Death Valley to meet up with the group.  The only problem is that I didn’t know where the Sunday morning class would assemble.  I had the Saturday location and I had the Saturday itinerary, but that is all.  And I can’t be driving around Death Valley in hopes of stumbling upon my class.  Thinking like a teacher, I decided that since he camped at the Mesquite Campgrounds, the first thing one would want on Sunday morning is breakfast.  The closest restaurant is at Stovepipe Wells, and one of the field trips is called Stretched Pebble Canyon, distinctively described as the “thrid canyon on the left”  from Stovepipe Wells.  As I drove 3.3 miles past Stovepipe Wells I found a caravan of cars parked on the side of the road, with the instructor’s car in the lead.  And with the binoculars, I could see a formation of hikers working their way across the alluvial fan towards the “third canyon on the left”.  Again, I shouldered my backpack loaded with water, field notebook  and camera, and started hiking quickly to catch up to the group.  A little luck along with intuition has served me well thoughout my adventurous life.

(si pincháis en la imagen leéis la noticia entera)

Éstas rocas del Death Valley, en California se mueven solas, dejando el rastro tras de sí. Vamos, que son las verdaderas Rolling Stones!!!!!

El misterio no está resuelto (venga ya, con los maravillosos métodos de hoy en día!), pero dicen que puede ser porque en el valle (a 85 metros por debajo del nivel del mar) las noches son heladas y el suelo se congela, y, supongo yo, que se deslizan por el hielo y eso.

Venga, así que vamos a descubrir como llegaron a su sitio las rocas de las pirámides de Egipto, las del Stonehenge o las de la Isla de Pascua. Se aceptan apuestas!!!!

Dass ein bisschen Sonne dem Herzen gut tut, ist keine neue Erkenntnis. Warum man diesen „Genuss mit therapeutische Wirkung“ immer noch vom Wetter abhängig macht, ist unverständlich. Mancherorts bedeutet die Winterzeit sogar eine sechsmonatige Sonnenabstinenz! Um diesem Unrecht ein Ende zu bereiten, entwickelten wir eine Lösung Sonnenlicht zu tanken und aufzubewahren. Bei Bedarf kann dieses Sonnenlicht später zum Sonnenbaden wieder ausgeschüttet werden .

Zum Tanken haben wir an einem heiteren Tag eine alte Satellitenschüssel zur Sonne hin ausgerichtet. Im Brennpunkt wurde eine Büchse mit einem Deckel aus Spiegelglas, der in eine Richtung lichtdurchlässig ist, positioniert. Licht lässt sich physikalisch als Strom von Teilchen, Photonen, definieren. In der Büchse angekommen, werden die Phontonen durch eine Oberflächenschicht, dem Spiegel-Coating, unendlich reflektiert. Nach etwa einer Stunde sind so viele Photonen einfangen, dass sie sich zu einer Flüssigsonne verdichten.

Die abgefüllten Büchsen können für dunkle Zeiten aufbewahrt werden. Sogar der Charakter des eingefangen Lichts wird konserviert! So entsteht ein komplett neues Geschäftsfeld, der Vertrieb von Licht in unterschiedlichen Geschmacksarten:

• Ostseestrand (herb & erfrischend)
• Sonnenuntergang (unwiderstehlich romantisch)
• Siesta (Mittagssonne für die Entspannung zwischendurch)
• Karibik (die heiße XXL Urlaubspackung)
• Death Valley (Vorsicht, extra Stark und intensiv)

Die Installation zum Sonne tanken lässt sich in wenigen Handgriffen zum Sonnenbad umfunktionieren. Wird eine Büchse geöffnet, fängt die Flüssigsonne an zu verdampfen und eine Photonenstrom wird freigesetzt. Das Licht wird in der Satellitenschüssel reflektiert und wirkt so wie eine natürliche Sonne.

Darüber hinaus wirkt sich das Ganze positiv auf die ökonomischen Perspektiven Afrikanischer Länder aus und leistet die Flüssigsonne einen Beitrag zur Bekämpfung der Klimakatastrophe.

Das, lieber Billy the Kid, wird dein Herz sicherlich schneller schlagen lassen!

Die Quatschtronauten.

It’s well known, that a little bit of sunshine is good for the heart. So why does mankind still depend on the weather for this “therapeutic pleasure”? In wintertime, some places have six months of abstinence of sunshine! To stop this injustice, we developed a way to capture, store and discharge sunlight.

To capture the sunlight, we directed an old satellite disk towards the sun on a bright summer day. A tin can was positioned in its focal point, with a cap made of one-way mirror glass. Light can be physically explained as a stream of particles, Photons. The sunlight that entered the tin can was infinitely reflected by the mirror coating inside. After about one hour, so many photons were trapped, that they condensed and became liquid sunshine.

The filled tin cans can be stored for dark hours. Even the character of the light will be preserved! A completely new business will arise with the sales and marketing of different flavours of sunshine:

• Baltic beach (Intense and refreshing)
• Sunset (Irresistible romantic)
• Siesta (Noonday sun for a relaxing break)
• Caribbean (Also a holiday-pack)
• Death Valley (Caution, extra strong)

The installation to collect sunshine can be easily converted for sunbathing. When a can is opened, the liquid sunshine starts to vaporize, and a stream of photons will be released. This light is reflected in the satellite disk, which appears to be a natural sun.

On top of all, this business has a positive effect on the economical perspective of African countries, and will fight the climate crisis. That, my dear Billy the Kid, will fill your hard with joy!

The Quatschtronauts

Location Report – Death Valley National Park

Storm approaching the Racetrack Playa in Death Valley © Mac Danzig

If you immediately think of nothing but extreme heat and barren desert when the words “Death Valley” come to mind, you most likely haven’t experienced this incredible place first-hand…  Yes, the heat is ridiculous in the summer at the valley-level areas of the park, but DVNP has way more to offer than the stereotypical idea of extreme heat and sand.

As of the time this writing, I have been to Death Valley for Photography nine times and if I have anything to say about it, there will be many more trips in the future.  Every time I have visited, I have come back with usable images no matter what conditions the weather provided and each time I have seen something completely new.  In addition, every single excursion to this beautiful place has had a profound effect on me.

Death Valley National Park is the largest National Park in the lower 48 states, covering 5,262 square miles.    On any given day, you are likely to see and experience a plethora of Natural Phenomena.  From snow-capped peaks, to rolling sand dunes, to Ghost Town remains and everything in between.  Death Valley is, in my opinion the most geologically diverse Natural area in North America and that is a notion that definitely lends itself to success in photography.

Those of you who are familiar with my work know that I am a huge fan of remote places.   I have gone out of my way to go ‘out of the way’ as much as possible.  Death Valley absolutely fulfills the need for solitude and desolation, as long as you are willing to do a little (or a lot of) driving beyond the main tourist areas.   Keep in mind that all of these great spots are very far from each other, for the most part and I recommend either an extended stay, or exact planning of your time to get the most out of your visit.   For example, the Badwater area includes Artist’s Palette, numerous salt flats and the incredible Devil’s Golf Course. They are all within 20 mins of each other, and fairly close to the two hotels in the area, but nowhere even remotely near the Racetrack, Wildrose Charcoal kilns, or any of the high-altitude overlook views.

In this article I will only cover the sections of the park I am familiar with, and of those, the ones I believe to be the best areas for good photo ops.

Here is a link to a google map I’ve made of the area. I will link again to it at the end of the article.
View Death Valley Photography spots in a larger map

The Racetrack Playa

Might as well start with my favorite spot in the entire park and probably one of the most remote areas in all of Death Valley; The Racetrack.  This basin is an ancient dry lake bed with an amazing textured floor that includes the phenomena of the infamous “sailing stones.”

"110 Degrees" © Mac Danzig

Although the road to get to the Racetrack from both North and South is very rough, winding, and filled with large, loose natural gravel rocks that are quite sharp in spots, chances are you’ll see a few other folks (even in passenger cars) during a September or April trip when the weather is the most comfortable.     If you go during the colder months, there’s an excellent chance you’ll have the entire area to yourself.

Words can’t really describe the feeling you get at the Playa.  Especially if you are the only one there…  Bordered on the West by the Last Chance Range, and on the East by the Cottonwood mountains, a feeling of solitude is experienced naturally.   The silence itself can be immense and profound.  Every experience I’ve had at this location has left me longing to return again.

My advice is to spend at least 24 hours here if possible.  There are a few first-come-first-serve campsites just south of the Racetrack that will leave you easy access for sunrise and sunset light.  And if you’re a nocturnal shooter like me, spending at least 1 night here is a must.

Moonrise on the Playa © Mac Danzig

In addition to the lake bed itself containing the “sailing stones” is the “Grandstand”: a protrusion of black basaltic rock that sits 75 feet above the floor at the northwestern corner of the playa.   This is easily seen from the road or anywhere in the area, really.  And if you are looking for a good star-trail foreground subject or an interesting focal point beyond the normal shot, the Grandstand may be a good bet.

"First Light of the Day" © Mac Danzig (The Grandstand can be seen at the horizon below the mountains, center-left)

When walking out on the Playa, distance is not always what it seems.  You may find yourself heading towards a vague landmark while looking for rocks with trails to photograph, and end up spending triple the amount of time you expected to get to an area that seemed fairly close.  This isn’t necessarily a negative though (unless you foolishly visit in the dead of summer) because the more time spent here, the better, in my opinion.

Light is best in early morning, once the sun has broken over the Cottonwood range, but great sunsets can also be had here as well, just remember that the mountain range to the east is quite close to the playa, and actual evening light sets behind it earlier than you may anticipate.

And of course, night time shooting is excellent here.  During a new moon, you are far away enough from light pollution that the stars really stand out.  The Racetrack is perhaps one of the best places in Death Valley to photograph the night sky.

"Galaxis" - A shot of the Milky Way from the Racetrack about 1 hour before sunrise. © Mac Danzig

Getting there can be a bit of a struggle, depending on your vehicle and your patience for rough back-roads.  A high-clearance 4wd vehicle isn’t 100% necessary to get here, but having one will make your trip a lot more comfortable, safer and many times quicker.   Always carry a full-size spare, no matter what kind of car you take here.  The large, sharp natural gravel can flatten any tire, and in many areas of the road, there is no ideal place to pull-over and change a flat.

The Racetrack can be accessed from either the north or south, but the northern route is probably the best for most situations.

Coming from the north, you will pass Ubehebe Crater, (a half-mile wide volcanic crater that is estimated to be over 5000 years old) just before the road turns to dirt and becomes very rough and rocky.   Although not as immediately photogenic as you’d imagine, Ubehebe is definitely worth a stop to look at and experience.   On certain days, the wind at the top of the crater picks up so high that you can literally lean your entire body weight over the edge and be supported.

The first 30 miles or so to the track via Ubehebe is windy 1-lane gravel.  The last 4 miles before you reach the Playa turn from rocky to washboard… The kind of washboard road that will vibrate the eyes out of your head if you ride too fast on it.  This is another reason to have a vehicle with the kind of suspension that can handle these roads.

"Desert Floor" © Mac Danzig

Once you get there, my suggestion is to take a few moments to really absorb the atmosphere before you begin shooting.   There are 3 parking areas (north, middle and south) that have easy access to walk directly onto the playa.  Keep in mind that in order to find some good rock trails, you must be prepared to do some hiking out onto the lake bed.  There are no sign or trails, just a giant, wide-open playground with limitless photographic potential.

Sand Dunes

© Mac Danzig

There are three major groups of dunes in Death Valley:   Mesquite dunes (near Stovepipe Wells), Panamint dunes and Eureka Dunes.

By far the most accessible of the three is the Mesquite Dunes.  Unfortunately it’s also the most visited and therefore the most footprint-littered.   During the months of April/May and September, these dunes a lot of tourism.   Depending on recent wind and rain activity, you’ll sometimes have to hike quite a way during these peak months to find untouched sand, but it’s still an amazing location.  If you stop by here, you’ll be close to Stovepipe Wells, which contains a small convenience store, gift shop and over-priced gas, if you need it.

Regardless of the season or current wind conditions, it’s always a good idea to protect your equipment in the sand dunes.  There are only two times that I’ll put a uv filter on the front of my lens – shooting near splashing salt water, and shooting near large bodies of sand.    Hiking to find the right spot to shoot can take a long time and end up being more of a workout than you bargained for.   The soft sand is really hard to traverse and I’ve found myself and my gear submerged into the sand on more than one occasion.   Always keep what you’re not using zipped up in your bag.  Take great care when changing lenses – any stray grains of sand blown into the camera body can cause a post-processing nightmare.

The thermometer on my compass reads 111.4 F. This was during May right before sunset.

Hiking the dunes at night is an awesome experience.  Because of how disorienting an area like this can be, (especially at night) I always carry a GPS with me, even if there’s a full moon.  All these rolling hills can blend together and finding your way out can be real pain.

If you want a less-traveled location, check out either the Panamint Dunes or the Eureka Dunes on the North end of the Park.   If you are coming from Big Pine, CA, Eureka Dunes can be visited on the way to the Racetrack.  They are much larger and more interesting than the Mesquite Dunes, in my opinion.

"Moonlit Hourglass" © Mac Danzig

Furnace Creek and Vicinity

Furnace Creek, is pretty much the only “town” in Death Valley.   It includes a visitor’s center,  two campgrounds, the only two hotels in the entire National Park and the only real restaurant.   If you station yourself here, you’ll have relatively close access to the Badwater Salt Flats, the Devil’s Golf Course, Artist’s Pallette and Zabriskie Point.

© Mac Danzig

Zabriskie Point is an overlook area that also includes a primitive hikable trail system.   From the overlook you an see the salt flats as well as Wildrose Peak across the Badwater Valley.  It’s mostly a sunrise/early morning spot, but great shots can be had here at sunset and nighttime as well.   Don’t expect to have this place to yourself unless you go sometime during the off-season.

To see a panorama I made of Zabriskie Point hosted on Gigapan and gain a better idea of the view point, click here.

sunrise over Zabriskie Point © Mac Danzig

The Badwater Salt flats are one of the main attractions for people staying at Furnace Creek.  Badwater is the lowest point in the Western Hemisphere.  Most people visiting here will stop off at the parking lot with a little boardwalk.  I suggest driving a little further down and pulling off of the road to find some un-trampled areas of the flats.

"NaCl Earth" - Badwater Salt Flats © Mac Danzig

The Devil’s Golf Course is a rather unfortunately-named section of Badwater that is my personal recommendation as a must-see if you’re in the Furnace Creek area.    It’s a salt pan with huge, random, jagged formations of salt that formed when the body of water there evaporated.  (Much of Death Valley NP was underwater at one time and discoveries of fish fossils are still being unearthed at higher elevations in the park).     Seriously, be careful when you walk on this.  The floor here is sharp and not as brittle as you might think.  It would suck pretty bad to get cut open by a lump of serrated salt.

DGC can be an excellent evening location once the sun lowers behind the mountains, especially if there are good groups of clouds present to catch the light.  Sunrise of course lends itself to this location very well too.

"Salt and Storm" - Devil's Golf Course © Mac Danzig

Overlooks

Beside all of the ground-level geographic features, there are plenty of high-altitude overlooks spread throughout the park.  Many of the overlooks are truly amazing depending on what kind of light you have, but they are all very far from each other (Dante’s View, Augereberry Point, Telescope Peak, Father Crowley Point, etc)- Depending on how much time you have to spend, most likely you will only be able to get one or two of these in. Also, many times in DV, the light is hazy, even in early morning and late afternoon, so the lookout style points of interest may not end up being photogenic.

This is a telephoto view from Father Crowley Point, located on the eastern side of the park. From this vantage point, you are looking towards the West at Panamint Valley. Seen here is the snow-covered Panamint Range, 4000 feet above the arid Panamint Dunes below.

Dante’s View is a great early morning/sunrise location that looks northwest above the Badwater basin.  If you enter the park from the southwest, via 190 fwy, it’s easy to get to…  If you want to hike beyond the parking area here, you can go 4 miles one way to the Mt. Perry Summit, which is absolutely worth it, in my opinion.

Traveling through the Panamint mountain range gives some more opportunities for overlooks.  Telescope Peak is the highest point in the park and is accessed by a 14-mile round-trip hike starting at Mahogany Flat Campground.    In order to get up here, you’ll need a high clearance 4wd.  This entire area is really photogenic and includes the Wildrose charcoal kilns on the way up the mountain.  These are the best-preserved kilns in the west.   The road turns from paved to dirt a few miles before the kilns and once past the kilns, turns very steep and rocky.  Keep in mind that there is snow up here well into spring and the road isn’t really maintained.  This is a good opportunity to get a some shots of the charcoal kilns with snow covering them and chances are, you won’t see many other people.  These are best photographed in the early part of the day, because the sun washes out the sky from mid-day until evening when looking west here.

A quick snapshot of the Wildrose Charcoal kilns up in the Panamints.

Another overlook to check out if you’re in the Panamint range, near wildrose, is Aguereberry Point.   I’ve only ever been there in winter, where the unmaintained dirt access road was covered in snow, but even then, it wasn’t too treacherous.  From Aguereberry Point, you can see all the way across the west half Death Valley National Park.  The silence up here is beautiful and only occasionally broken by whistling wind.

On the way to Aguereberry Point (named after miner Pete Aguereberry) is the Eureka mine and remnants of Pete Aguereberry’s home.  Unfortunately, the Park service has deemed the mine unsafe recently and denied access to it, but hopefully some restoration will change that.  You can still have a look at the old house where Pete used to live as well as some other decaying remnants.

Eureka Mine © Mac Danzig

If you find yourself in the Panamint Valley or near Panamint Springs, Darwin Falls is a decent little spot to visit with a short hike through a wash to get there.  It is another prime example of the geological diversity in the area.  You’ll want a high clearance vehicle to get to the trailhead.  Keep in mind that during the summer months, the falls may be dry. (or so I’ve been told)

Darwin Falls © Mac Danzig

One example of the sporadic Death Valley weather was seen by me first hand one day in the winter.  It was warm in the Panamint Valley during the morning hours.   By mid-day, a strong storm came by and flooded the valley floor.  Extremely strong winds arrived afterward and created waves on the large pools of water that had been formed by the rain.

© Mac Danzig

By this time, the temperature had dropped almost 20 degrees even though the sun was still bright.

Unpredictable weather is a staple of Death Valley in the winter months.

Ghost Towns and mining remnants in the area

In addition to the Eureka Mine previously mentioned, are plenty of ghost towns (and pieces of ghost towns) scattered throughout the park here and there.  The ones worth visiting in my opinion are Ballarat and Panamint City (on the southeast side of the park) and Rhyolite- which lies in Nevada and is actually just outside the park boundaries on the Northwest side.    Rhyolite is a perfect location to stop by if you are coming from the 95 fwy and using Beatty junction to enter the park.  This old gold rush town is not hard to get to, and contains some of the most well preserved structures of any ghost town I’ve visited.   The now-deceased Cook Bank, who’s frame and foundation are made of cement, is still standing.  It’s roofless now and pieces keep coming down over the years, but the front wall should be there for a while unless there is some real seismic activity.

"Sundial" - the remnants of Cook Bank in Rhyolite, Nevada - © Mac Danzig

Rhyolite was a pretty happening place in it’s heyday.  If you’re familiar with ghosts towns, you’ll know that there isn’t much left of them in most cases, so this old place is a welcomed change.  There is also a cemetery near by which has quite a few old grave sites.

If you happen to be heading from Rhyolite towards the Racetrack, or even Stovepipe Wells and you have a good high clearance vehicle (and extra time), try taking Titus Canyon- just west of Rhyolite.  It’s a beautiful drive and will lead you through the grapevine mountains just after passing the ghost town of Leadfield.  This will take quite some time, so plan accordingly.

Wildlife

Animals are often hard to come by in DVNP, but a little time spent in the park should reveal a few of the park’s more visible creatures.  There are plenty of native animals that have eluded me, but one has to remember that Death Valley and the desert in general does not harbor many creatures who make their living grazing out in the open.

© Mac Danzig

Still, you are sure to come across wildlife in many different parts of  the Park if you’re willing to spend some time searching.  I personally wouldn’t plan a photography trip to Death Valley for wildlife alone, but it’s a great idea to bring the telephoto and keep it handy.

Burro family seen near Surprise Canyon © Mac Danzig

Wild Burros can be seen throughout the eastern side of the park and if you hike into the mountains, you just might come across some Bighorn Sheep.

Bighorn Ewe in Happy Canyon near the trailhead to the ghost town of Panamint City © Mac Danzig

—————————————————————————–

If you haven’t been yet, hopefully you’ve now gained a better idea of what you can do here.  If you’ve already visited, maybe this will spark your interest to return.

I personally cannot imagine my photography portfolio without this place and I owe much of the experience I’ve gained to it.

As far as I’m concerned, there is no place like it on earth.

Below is a map of the area I’ve made with placemarks that correspond with this article’s featured spots.
View Death Valley Photography spots in a larger map.

I plan on hosting a few photography workshops in the near future at Death Valley, with an emphasis on night time long exposures.  Please check back on the blog in early 2010 for updates and schedule.

Thanks for reading.

-Mac

The H1N1 Swine Flu virus knows no borders,has no boundaries, and has absolutely no respect for religious or cultural traditions.

This year at the annual Hajj to Mecca,  Four foreign pilgrims have died of swine flu, the Saudi Health Ministry announced on Saturday.

The Saudi Arabia Health Ministry  said none of the four foreign victims had been vaccinated against the H1N1 virus, as has been recommended by The Health Ministry.

An official statement released by the ministry said all had underlying health problems, including cancer and respiratory illness, AFP news agency reported.

Three of the victims died in Medina and one in Mecca.

http://www.arabnews.com/?page=1&section=0&article=128688&d=22&m=11&y=200Over

The BBC is reporting that….up to three million Muslims from around the world take part in the holy pilgrimage every year, but health officials have expressed fears that it could provide a breeding ground for the virus.

Authorities had tried to prepare for any outbreaks by installing thermal cameras at airports and sea terminals, deploying 15,000 additional health workers and ensuring hundreds of extra beds were available.

The Hajj (Arabic: حج‎ Ḥaǧǧ) is a pilgrimage to Mecca. It is currently the largest annual pilgrimage in the world,^[1] and is the fifth pillar of Islam, a moral obligation that must be carried out at least once in their lifetime by every able-bodied Muslim who can afford to do so. The Hajj is a demonstration of the solidarity of the Muslim people, and their submission to Allah (God).^[2] The pilgrimage occurs from the 7th to 13th day of Dhu al-Hijjah, the 12th month of the Islamic calendar. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hajj)

The Health Minister has reported that there are 16 other people that have been diagnosed with swine flu and four remain in hospital in “critical condition”.

He added 12 others had recovered following treatment.

The Saudi government has recommended the elderly, pregnant women, people with chronic diseases and children skip the Hajj this year.

The Saudi government has said all pilgrims need a certificate of vaccination before they can apply for a visa.

This is real people, and this disease is spreading worldwide,at a rapid pace.

I encourage everyone to get a H1N1 swine flu shot as soon as you can.The reports of any side effects are exaggerated, and will cause millions of people to perish from the lack of the vaccine.

Any paranoia surrounding any alledged complications from the shot are totally unsubstantiated, and if those people out there insist on not receiving the vaccine, then we as a society should only expect more mounting mass casualties from the swine flu, as exhibited this weekend, unfortunately in Mecca.

If it can happen in Mecca, it can happen anywhere.

Please everyone, wash your hands, and go get the shot.

To follow the full story, click on the links for my sources below…

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5iDApMAhUln5jw-ffhzIZCh0I_-bgD9C41MJ00

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/8372378.stm

http://www.saudiembassy.net/latest_news/news11210903.aspx

I just stumbled upon a video of one of my fellow artists who I met my first year participating in the Death Valley Invitational Art Show, 4 years ago.  Earlier I posted a photograph of Carl Seyboldt on Sunday, during the “Breakfast with the Artists”. 

For those that went to the Death Valley Art Show this year, many saw my most fearful and most triumphant moment of all. I actually participated in the quick draw event.

For those that are unaware of the rules of the event, you must start with a blank canvas, and have a finished piece of artwork within 45 minutes.  Then, they give you a few minutes to frame the artwork, so that it can be auctioned off.  Guests can wander through while you are working and see your progress from start to finish.

For my first quick draw, I captured a white kitten, innocent with big blue eyes wandering in the flower bed, trying his hardest to be elusive of my camera. When the camera popped up next to the flower he was stalking, his eyes became large, and click click I caught the moment.

Follow the link to see the progress of Carl Seyboldt’s artwork. This guy is incredible!!! This was taken at an art show in Puyallup, WA called the Western Heritage Art Show.  What an incredible drawing from start to finish!!!

Image content impacts how you sharpen images. There are essentially three types of image content: low-frequency, high frequency and a mix of both. (Well that was interesting. This got published in error, my error of course.) Oh well, moving on.

low-frequency image

The above image is all about smoothness and yet still has a graphical quality. This makes this a low-frequency image.

High-Frequency Image

The image of the tree and rocks is considered high-frequency. It has lots of different edge details and lots of edges requiring sharpening.

Medium Frequency Image

This image is a mix of low-frequency sky and clouds and high-frequency trees and grass. Therefore, this is referred to as a medium frequency image.

You images will fall into one of these categories. The point to take away here is that one stop sharpening does not always work. I know there are many who disagree, but read on and you’ll see what I mean.

Digital image sharpening is done to pixels. By “sharpening” the pixel you create a halo around the pixel to increase or decrease its contrast compared to the pixel next to it. The size of the halo determines the degree of sharpness. And in Lightroom and Photoshop the Radius setting determines the pixel’s halo size.

Therefore, when sharpening a digital image you need to consider a couple of things. Image content impacts the Radius selection. Image capture affects sharpening (image noise, poorly focused lens, chromatic aberration and camera movement). Remember, sharpening cannot repair an out of focus image. Also, you need to consider image enlargement before sharpening.

A high frequency image requires a Radius setting of 0.8 – 0.6. Now these are not absolutes, but guidelines.

A low frequency image requires a Radius setting of 1.5 – 2.0.

The Amount setting affects the intensity of the sharpening.

Given that your computer monitor has a very low resolution, it is really difficult to judge image sharpness by only looking at the monitor. Running a test print is the only true way to judge if the sharpening is adequate or too over the top. Like you, I look at the monitor with an image at 1:1 magnification and “judge” the quality of the image’s sharpness. I then run a print. Sometimes an image looks really great on-screen and the print is too sharp. Sometimes the reverse is also true. So make a test print to evaluate your sharpening.

Also consider setting up some sharpening defaults within Lightroom. It saves a lot of time.

36 2 Go

• OMG…Overslept this morning…hate doing that…it throws my entire day out of synch. It was Jourdies fault…she slept at Emmas last night, so when my alarm went off..I though…Ohhhhh…I can have an extra hour because there is no school run…instead of resetting the alarm I just got back into bed….and back into a deep deep sleep…AGhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
• I am so so glad its Friday…after last weeks attack of the pigs im still exhausted and this week has been very long indeed…chilling tonight with a glass of red…out with the gang tomorrow for some much needed Vodka/Sambucca therapy.

Peter Andre’s Phone Bill Must Be Huge..He Just Keeps Voting

I’m Katie Price… Get Me Out Of Here! Jordan threatens to quit I’m A Celeb over trial torment

Katie Price has revealed she is on the verge of walking away from I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! as the public backlash over her return to the jungle becomes too much to bear. The glamour model has only been in the jungle for five days, but the public have already voted for her to do a string of ghastly ‘Bushtucker Trials’ on the ITV reality show. And it may be they are enacting their revenge after being forced to wade through endless headlines about her split from her ex-husband, singer Peter Andre. In the live section of tonight’s show, Miss Price looked dismayed when she learned she would have to take part in her fourth bushtucker trial on Friday night.

Relatives of the star have now said they believe viewers are punishing her because of her outrageous antics during a high-profile divorce from Andre. Miss Price has now endured three trials and is set to attempt a fourth one in Friday’s episode. On last night’s show, she said: ‘I’m absolutely ready to leave camp.’ She said she was pining for her children, severely-disabled son Harvey, seven, her son with footballer Dwight Yorke, alongside son Junior, four, and daughter Princess Tiaamii, her children with Andre. The brunette, who had been covered in cockroaches and bugs, forced underwater in a pond full of larvae and through dark tunnels infested with rats for her challenges, insisted: ‘I’ve had enough. ‘I miss my children. I’m hungry. I want a nice bed and I don’t want to have to put myself through these horrible challenges. I don’t like it.’

Who’s it gonna be? Katie insisted she knew it would be her when she was put up against Gino Di Campo Earlier this week she suffered a panic attack after crawling through the tunnels. Yet she was also picked for another task which involved her swimming through a pool of baby crocodiles as well as a live trial on Wednesday night. Giving her thoughts on being picked again, she said: ‘I think the public want to give me a bad time. ‘You can’t take it personally even though it’s hard not to. They’ve seen me battered for the last 3 or 4 days.  Let someone else have a go.’ Katie’s mother, Amy, and brother Danny yesterday likened her treatment to someone being stoned to death in ancient Rome.

Speaking on ITV1’s This Morning, Danny said: ‘She has this façade of being very strong, controlling, not showing any emotion, but there is a side to her that’s very vulnerable and insecure.’ Asked about Katie constantly being chosen to take part in the Bushtucker Trials, her mother said: ‘It’s very painful but we told her ‘you know you’re going to get every trial. ‘It’s like let’s stone them, it’s like the gladiators. They’re taking out their spite on her.’ Wednesday’s trial saw Miss Price trying to retrieve a number of stars with her teeth, the first from a pool of gunk and the second from a tangle of mealworms. She then had to retrieve objects hidden in a sphere of snakes, dive into a pool of baby crocodiles, drink a glass of ‘beetlejuice’, put her hands in gloves filled with ants and then pick up live eels.

Earlier in the week she had to be lifted out of a dark tunnel after a gruelling bushtucker trial in which she had to crawl through a series of rat and cockroach infested tunnels in the dark and collect stars to win food for the rest of the camp. But when the small space was flooded with water, the model – who suffered a swimming accident as a child – panicked, and shouted to be pulled free. She was close to tears and shaking when she came out and hyperventilated as medical staff tried to calm her down. Meanwhile, the star also talked about ex-husband Peter Andre on the show.

Fellow contestant Justin Ryan said: ‘One of the hardest things about splitting up with Peter and it must be so much more difficult for you is the division. Camp Katie and Camp Peter.’ Katie replied: ‘I don’t know who started all that. It’s pathetic. We’re both human beings. So many people get divorced.  So many people every day, you know.’ When Justin suggested that it would be good if the two could remain friends she replied: ‘I’d love that. I’d absolutely love that. If I had it my way. It’s nice for the kids to have both their parents and both get on.’ Sam Fox said that she hoped that the couple would end up talking for the children’s’ sake. ‘It will happen,’ added Price. ‘It’ll probably take a few years.’

Also in Thursday’s episode, the camp were split into two groups in a battle for Base Camp. The winning team would be excluded from the first vote off and live in the relative luxury of base camp, while the others would be forced live in Exile and over the next few days will have to compete in Bush Battles. The winner of each day’s Bush Battle would have immunity from the first vote off and will return to live in Base Camp.With the two teams  chosen, they all stood on wooden platforms underneath buckets holding poles pressed against a button on the bottom of the bucket.

Queen of clean: Kim Woodburn is horrified to be staying in Exile Camp after losing the bush battle One false move and the contents would be released and that celebrity eliminated. One by one, each celebrity was eliminated before Sabrina Washington was declared the winner. With team leader Colin, Sabrina and her teammates Justin, Katie, Jimmy and Joe returned to Base Camp which had been transformed into a relative jungle paradise. Katie enthused: ‘I’m so relieved.  It’s like returning home.’ The camp had been transformed, furnished with camp chairs, pillows for the beds, dressing gowns, firewood and purified water.

Samantha Fox is disgusted to see a rat in exile camp

The group were thrilled to learn they would have additional food delivered that night and found chocolate and cold beers in the caravan. Meanwhile, Lucy led her losing teammates Gino, Stuart, George, Sam and Kim to the Exile camp, which was nothing but a simple clearing with one log and one bed. The camp contained only the bare essentials and the camp mates were horrified to see rats running around. Ex-Hollyoaks actor Stuart even managed to catch one and place it outside of their clearing. Queen of Clean Kim was disgusted and declared ‘I couldn’t take much more of this filth.’

Funny Story…Poor Guy

I went to the Home Depot recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had
prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented ‘you’re definitely going to s**t yourself’ road kill chili. Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat it, the next day both of your butt cheeks WILL fall off.
Here’s the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No ‘Watson’s Movement 2′. Despite habanera peppers swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I was unable to create the usual morning
symphony referred to by my dear wife as ‘thunder and lightning’. Knowing that a time of reckoning HAD to come, yet not sure of just when,
I bravely set off for the Depot, my quest being paint and supplies to refinish the den..
Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It wasn’t until I was at the opposite end of the store from the restrooms that the pain hit me.
Oh, don’t look at me like you don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m referring to that ‘Uh, Oh, S**t, gotta go’ pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time. The thing is, this pain was different. The habaneros in the chili from the night before were staging a revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the direction of the restrooms which would bring sweet relief, it happened. The peppers fired a warning shot. There I stood, alone in the paint and stain section, suddenly enveloped in a noxious cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odor might escape me. Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as an red aproned clerk turned the corner and asked if I needed any help. I don’t know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what his reaction would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to dissipate. Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally? Here’s what I mean, and I’m sure some of you at least will be able to relate. I could’ve warned that poor clerk, but didn’t. I simply watched as he walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odor so terrible that all he could do before gathering his senses and running, was to stand there blinking and waving his arms about his head as though trying to ward off angry bees. This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh.. ……..BIG mistake!!!!!
Here’s the thing. When you laugh, it’s hard to keep things ‘clamped down’, if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that
someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun. Suddenly things were no longer funny. ‘It’ was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the restrooms, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I’d make it before the grand mal assplosion took place.
Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the inevitable ‘Oh my God’, floating above the toilet seat because my ass is burning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of ‘Shock and Awe’ . He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, ‘Sono@##!, did it smell that bad when you ate it?’, then quickly left. Once finished and I left the restroom, reaquired my partially filled cart intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me and said, ‘Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem.’ My smirking of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me. The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, ‘IT’S YOU!’, then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not
to return. Home again without my supplies, I realized that there was nothing to eat but leftover chilli, so I consumed two more bowls. The next day I went to shop at Lowe’s. I can’t say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter.
Jerks claim they’re going to have to repaint the store..

Mystery of Death Valley’s gliding rocks

These extraordinary pictures reveal a bizarre event that is puzzling the science world – rocks that glide across the desert.Amid the eerie silence and the 50C heat of California’s Death Valley these giant boulders appear to move smoothly – and unaided – across the desert.The rocks, some as heavy as 17 stone, edge along in bizarre, straight-line patterns across the ultra-flat surface of the valley. They can travel more than 350 yards a year.

Er… how did that get there? One of the extraordinary moving rocks leaves a track through Death Valley Scientists believe the phenomenon is caused by a coming together of specific weather conditions.Studies suggest a combination of 90mph winds, ice formations at night and thin layers of wet clay on the surface of the desert all help to push them along. Photographer Mike Byrne, 40, has spent years documenting the stones’ mysterious movements. As his amazing pictures show these real-life rolling stones leave trails across the sand in places almost untouched by man. He said: ‘Some of these rocks are as heavy as a person, it is really is strange to imagine them gliding across the desert like this. ‘They must be the original real-life rolling stones, they just keep moving through the sand and I don’t believe anyone has really 100 per cent worked it out yet.

More of the boulders and the eerie paths they leave across the Valley

‘Most of the stones are found on an old lake bed, known as the Racetrack Playa, where the ground is particularly flat.’It has been documented over the years and it is something very special to witness, although I know climatologists believe the phenomenon could disappear in a few years as the temps continue to rise.’One of the strongest theories about what the rocks move is that water rising from beneath the surface of the sand is pushed by the wind creating a surface the rocks can move along.’Death Valley is the lowest point in the U.S., at 282ft below sea level.It is almost completely flat and holds the record for the second highest temperature ever recorded on earth, a blistering 58C.In the 1990s a study by a team of scientists lead by Professor John Reid, from Hampshire College, Massachusetts, attempted to explain the rocks’ movement.His study concluded that the rocks may be moved when they become embedded in sheets of ice forming at night on the surface of the sand.As the sand melts Prof Reid said that the rocks were moved along by the ice and wind, thus forming the patterns.

Sorry …But This Guy Is A Prick

Revealed: The Newcastle footballer who couldn’t get by on £75,000 a week

The star also had lucrative sponsorship deals with various companies including Pepsi and Nike but had not been paid for these until NVA stepped in to get the contracts honoured, bringing in thousands of pounds.Before they managed his affairs Martins had not been paid a penny for his image rights on Newcastle United shirts and mugs. He had received nothing from his sponsorship deals and could not even find the contracts he had originally signed.NVA said it also organised travel visas, a passport, his mortgage and property valuations, and was constantly going up to Newcastle from its London offices for him.Mr Tennink told Judge Richard Seymour, QC: ‘Day to day life with superstars is demanding and superstars are demanding.’Martins, who owned several fast cars including a top-of-the-range £85,000 Porsche Cayenne 4×4, spent the money on a lifestyle of luxurious penthouse homes and fine dining.He owned a large multimillion pound home in the exclusive footballers’ enclave of Darras Hall, near Ponteland, Northumbria, and rented an opulent flat overlooking Newcastle upon Tyne’s trendy Quayside.The striker, who was sold for £9million to German side Wolfsburg after Newcastle were relegated from the Premier League earlier this year, paid NVA £67,500 in January last year and another £25,000 in April last year but NVA claims it is still owed over £300,000.Martins, who was not in court yesterday, is fighting the claim and the hearing is scheduled to last for three days.

Everything you never knew you wanted to know about Jedward

They are, without doubt, the sensation of the moment: two quiff-haired innocents, who can neither sing nor dance but have taken the country by storm. Everyone’s talking about Jedward.

The twins’ outfit last week consisted of silver suits from Topshop. X Factor stylists were still sticking tiny mirrors on the collars minutes before they went on stage to perform

WHICH WAS BORN FIRST? John and Edward Grimes were born on October 16, 1991, at the Rotunda Hospital in Dublin. John is the elder, by ten minutes. The twins were delivered three months early, at 28 weeks, and weighed just 2lb each. They were given only a 50 per cent chance of survival. Both spent weeks in an incubator before being allowed home. Their father John said: ‘They were so small and fragile, but thankfully they pulled through. They have always had a bond and I think it goes right back to that.’

BOYS TO MEN The boys grew up in a large home in the village of Rathangan, Co Kildare, with their brother Kevin, who is a year older. Their father John is a computer expert and their mother Susanna a secondary school teacher.

X Factor experts have refined the look of the twins who don’t mind trying out garish outfits

Their parents wanted them to have a bedroom each, but they stayed together because they missed each other so much. They boarded at The King’s Hospital, a private £6,000-a-year school, in Dublin, until they were 12. John says they were bullied, physically and verbally. ‘I think it was because we stuck out a lot,’ he said. A local describes them as ‘eternal oddballs’. Their parents split up and they now live with Mum in Lucan, a suburb of Dublin. They attend the posh private Institute of Education. Their mother says they have always been ‘music mad’ and love Robbie Williams and the Backstreet Boys. Last summer they scaled the four highest mountains in England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales for charity. Asked where they see themselves in ten years, they said: ‘We see ourselves as being a bit older.’ They came 7th and 13th in an Irish schools’ mountain run this year and John won a bronze in the 1500m at an under-19 indoor championships last March – Edward was fifth and six seconds slower.

ACTING UP Simon Cowell detested their arrogance on sight, calling them ‘vile little creatures who would step on their mother’s head to have a hit’. Their athletics teacher Ann McGee says she thinks the apparent cockiness is just an act. ‘They’re lovely lads and I think they are probably playing up to the camera.’

Their head teacher Jim D’Arcy agrees: ‘Their persona on the show must be a bit staged because they’re not arrogant. I’ve never had a second of trouble from them and the teachers love them.’ Described by an X Factor spokesman as ‘truly very sweet boys’, they have made a pact to sign their autograph for every fan who asks. Edward says: ‘We sign crazy stuff, from iPods to arms, to everything in the dictionary!’

WHICH IS WHICH? Pay attention: there are several key differences. Edward has more orangey hair, bushier eyebrows and better skin. His teeth are a fraction snagglier. The clearest giveaway is that John has a pointy right ear. He also has pierced ears, a scar on his forehead and never stops talking. John at 5ft 11in is about an inch taller than Edward, though they wear the same size clothes. On the advice of producers, the twins have started to do the Ant and Dec trick of always standing in the same order to help people differentiate. As you look at them, John is always on the left and Edward on the right.

ONE STEP BEHIND Edward always seems to be a little more off-key and out of step. However, X Factor singing coach Yvie Burnett says they do have potential. As well as spending two hours a week with each of the contestants teaching them their songs, Yvie says: ‘I do mother them. Singing can be psychological and if they are down or not feeling confident my job is to bring them back up.’ Their full names are John Paul Henry Daniel Richard Grimes and Edward Peter Anthony Kevin Patrick Grimes

HAIR RAISING The pair claim it takes only ‘five seconds’ and a dollop of gel to get their 3in quiffs ready in the morning. When they perform, though, their quiffs are backcombed, gelled and sprayed into submission by the studio hair and make-up team. According to chief stylist Faye Sawyer, when she first met them their hair was all sticking up ‘like Rhydian on acid. We tried to tone it down and make it look more soft and more quiffy’. One friend from Ireland says: ‘They have always had the big hair.’ Not surprisingly, they are expected to land a big money deal to plug a haircare brand the minute they leave the show.

The boys came into X Factor with a big love of high-top trainers

THE TRAIL BLAZERS When the twins turned up to the X Factor auditions they already had their own style – blazers and high-top trainers they call ‘runners’. Stylists then set about tweaking it all into the image we now know and love. ‘Their look is based on the Eighties, which were in turn inspired by the Fifties, so there’s the quiff, the jackets and drainpipes,’ says Faye Sawyer. The red shiny jackets the twins wore in Britney Spears week were made especially from patent leather, in homage to Britney’s famous red catsuit. The jackets are likely to be auctioned in aid of the show’s support for Great Ormond Street Hospital. Last week’s silver suits were from Topshop and stylists were still sticking tiny mirrors on the collars with hot glue guns ten minutes before John and Edward were due on stage. ‘They are like male models. They can wear anything,’ says Faye.

CEREALGATE Jedward are very noisy in the X Factor house – getting up at 7am and playing music loudly enough to annoy the rest of the contestants. They also have bubblegum blowing contests – John apparently blows bigger bubbles. The twins like to wear odd socks. They split two pairs between them, so they have one of each colour The twins eat vast amounts of cereal – with water, because they think dairy products give them spots. Sometimes they ‘borrow’ food from housemates – leading to Jamie Archer, Olly Murs and Danyl Johnson marking their cereal boxes with ‘Keep Off!’ signs. Meanwhile, Danyl also spends time sulking. He can’t understand how Jedward are becoming ever more popular.

GROUNDED! It has been mayhem outside the X Factor house in London’s Golders Green for the past few weeks, with hundreds of teenage girls camped outside. Neighbours have complained about some of Jedward’s fans who try to flash their underwear at the twins. A guard at the house said: ‘John and Edward are not allowed out – it’s studio’s orders. They cause too much chaos.’

Which is which? John and Edward may look identical but there are subtle differences to tell them apart

THE HATE MAIL John says: ‘We get hate mail and vicious letters. Some is so bad X Factor haven’t let us see it. It’s hard when we have to go out and perform and be happy and confident and smiley because we know if we slip up they’ll come after us. We know a lot of people hate us. I get so upset by it I can’t sleep. It goes round and round in my head. ‘We’ve had a gang come up to us in the street, saying ‘There’s those twins’ and they came after us. We had to run away. Edward was shaken and upset. I had to calm him down and tell him not to think about it.’ A fortnight ago, their mentor Louis Walsh became so rattled by the booing from the studio audience he was caught on camera flashing a two-fingered gesture at the offenders. He said: ‘They were calling them awful things. It’s not a football match. John and Edward’s family are there.’ He added: ‘It’s just a small handful of people in the audience shouting obscenities. I wasn’t letting them get away with it. It’s not right. The boys are only just 18.’ There are at least 40 Facebook pages devoted to getting Jedward off the show. The boys have five dogs and an eight-year-old budgie called Joey at their home near Dublin

OMERTA! Simon Cowell is rather alarmed by the public outcry which followed the controversial result in which the twins were saved while the talented Lucie Jones was sent home. Both Olly Murs and Lloyd Daniels have said that they are ‘not allowed’ to talk about the row in public, on Cowell’s orders. Meanwhile, the twins have personally apologised to Lucie.The truth is that Cowell didn’t want to be seen as the meanie who ended their run on the show. There were more than 4,000 complaints to ITV and 150 to regulator Ofcom.

GHOSTBUSTERS The twins are banned from all tanning products. The make-up artists emphasise their pale Irish complexion. In common with the other finalists, Jedward had £450 of free teeth whitening at the London Centre for Cosmetic Dentistry with top dentist Dr Mervyn Druian, whose clients include Amanda Holden and Carol Vorderman.

The twins look a lot shorter without their high quiffs

WHAM! BAM Wham’s I’m Your Man appears to be the favourite for Jedward to perform tomorrow night, but the contest is notorious for last-minute changes. If ever a theme was geared towards the twins’ strengths, it must be this one. Blond highlights, a tendency to bounce around on stage, and the obvious fact they are a pop duo should all help John and Edward. The stylists have not yet settled on a look, though we are assured it won’t involve a bouffant blow wave, shorts and shoulder pads. Whatever – it sounds as if we are in for another haphazard and wildly entertaining display.

DANCE ENVY? As everyone has noticed, Jedward have benefited from a big production number every week – with pyrotechnics, dancers and elaborate costumes. Naturally, other contestants are jealous. A show spokesman admitted: ‘They’ve had quite a lot of choreography and rehearsal time because there was a need for it.’

CELEB FANS Peaches Geldof (who wants to marry Edward) was spotted wearing a ‘Jed we can!’ T-shirt at a live show. Westlife think they’re hilarious. Ronan Keating, Bono, Colin Farrell are supporters – as, quite frankly, is everyone Irish. And they’ve charmed Robbie Williams and Brian May. David Cameron, Kelly Osbourne, Peter Andre and Michael Buble are also fans. As is Harriet Harman, apparently.

The twins have embraced their nickname

COWELL THE CONVERTED After they beat Lucie, Cowell was dismayed by the backlash from the public and told John and Edward to lie low. He had, of course, been their chief detractor in the first few weeks, but has started to be more encouraging. ‘If you allow – which I think is right – the public to determine who wins, you’ve got to go with it. You don’t have to agree with it, but you have to go with it,’ he said. Any embarrassment Cowell may feel over the success of the tone-deaf twins has been undoubtedly sweetened by the fact that Jedward have already signed a contract (as have all contestants) which means he gets a cut of any commercial deals they do until at least March 2010. They have already received television offers from networks including Disney, Nickelodeon and the BBC. Cowell’s adviser and ex, Sinitta, said: ‘Simon would actually create a show especially for them. Anything but see them win The X Factor.’ The final word on Cowell’s love/hate relationship with them should go to Louis Walsh: ‘I don’t like normal people and Simon’s the same. We hate it when normal people come in to sing. We love them slightly bonkers.’

The other X Factor contestants Olly Murs, Stacey Solomon and Lloyd Daniels take a break from rehearsals

The 11th Husband  !!!

A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to “Please be gentle; I’m still a virgin.”
“What ?” said the puzzled groom.
“How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?”
“Well……..
Husband  #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed  to function; but he said he’d look into it and get back with me.
Husband #3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn’t get the system up.
Husband #4 was in Telemarketing;  even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver..
Husband #5 was an Engineer;  he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from Administration;  he thought he knew how but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a  Stamp Collector; all he ever did was…………  God I miss him !!.
But now that I’ve married you, I’m so excited”.
Wonderful”, said the husband, but why ?
You’re with the  ” GOVERNMENT “.  .
This time I KNOW I’M gonna get SCREWED.

Funny X Ray

Jumping Your Bones

]]> http://jerrybrice.wordpress.com/2009/11/19/month-old-baby-girl-dies-from-h1n1-swine-flu-virus-too-young-to-be-vaccinted/ Thu, 19 Nov 2009 17:09:33 +0000 jerrybrice http://jerrybrice.wordpress.com/2009/11/19/month-old-baby-girl-dies-from-h1n1-swine-flu-virus-too-young-to-be-vaccinted/

A four-month old infant girl is the latest casualty to succumb to the deadly H1N1 Swine flu virus that is spreading faster than a wildfire across the nation.

The flu pandemic is on the rise and has been allowed to kill at a rate that has gone unchecked, due to the lack of and the fear of taking the Swine flu vaccination.The vaccine has been doled out to a select few qualifying groups of minor children,health workers, and people who supervise and come in to contact with groups of children.

In this latest case, doctors suspect that, since infants under the age of 6 months can not take the current vaccine due to health risk, and the fact that her parents were not allowed to be vaccinated since they are not in a rationing qualifying group, they were all at risk to be infected by the virus.

It is being reported in the media that both of the deceased baby girls siblings had received the H1N1 vaccinations, as their parents value and respect the vaccination program.

The infant had no known underlying medical conditions, according to the San Diego County Health and Human Services Agency, and none of the family members, vaccinated or not, tested positive for the virus, so it is still a mystery as to how the infant contracted the disease. They also report that the child had no underlying medical conditions, that has been known to make the virus even more deadly, and has been cited as the cause of dying from the disease.

I suspect that someone kissed the child, or hugged her, as people tend to do with babies, and that would be hard to track, and most Americans do not wash their hands after using the bathroom or sneezing in their hands,which only helps to spread the disease.

“If a child that age — up to 5 years old — gets a fever, shows symptoms, the parents should seek medical care as soon as possible because they can go down the tubes really fast,” County public health officer Wilma Wooten said.

Doctors at the Rady children’s Hospital in San Diego say that this case is unusual because the child exhibited no signs of the flu. She only had a little bit of a cough, but no fever or running nose for about four days.

On the fourth day the mom put the child down to sleep, and 45 minutes in to the babies nap, the mom discovered the child had stopped breathing.

She was rushed to Paradise Valley Hospital in south San Diego and was resuscitated, then flown to Rady’s children’s Hospital, where she died 24 hours later.

Dr. John Bradley of Rady’s Children Hospital stated that…We now know that H1N1 probably had something to do with setting up the baby for not breathing”…

To date, there have been 33 deaths of San Diego County residents linked to the H1N1 influenza and four deaths of non-residents, according to the HHSA. The number of people hospitalized with the virus locally stands at 617!!!

There is only enough vaccines to help 13% of the population, but each of the county’s where the infant died, six public health centers and one immunization clinic have each received between 20 and 60 additional doses of injectable H1N1 vaccine, according to the HHSA.

Those vaccines will be given to pregnant women which is a high risk group that is given priority due the rationing of the vaccinations due to a production shortage.

I am also afraid that the paranoia associated with the fear of the side effects of the vaccination will only help to spread the disease even quicker.I personally know some associates of mine that refuse to be inoculated due to their holistic beliefs, and some people reject it out of pure ignorance.

The problem with all of that is that Americans continue to have deplorable personal hygiene. I have witnessed some who think it is funny to sneeze and cough in the face of some unsuspecting citizen, in a ‘Jackass” inspired joke, and these are the same guys that do not bother to wash their hands after using the restroom.

I would rather risk the side effects of the H1N1 vaccine, than risk having to rely upon the general public to wash their hand,..or for that matter to wash their bodies at all. I know the latter is more of a risk, and I refuse to gamble with my health.

Those with underlying medical conditions experiencing influenza-like symptoms should contact their doctor immediately, according to the Health and Human Services Agency .

County health officials again encouraged people to stay away from work or school if they have influenza-like symptoms such as fever, cough, sore throat, body aches, headache, chills and fatigue.

Please practice safe and sane pristine personal hygiene…our lives depend on our cleanliness!!!

Follow this story by clicking on this link….

http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/health/Infant-Dies-of-Swine-Flu-70416072.html

I just got back from the Invitational Art Show in Death Valley.  While I was there, someone asked me. “What does it take to go from casual artist to full time artist?”

Without really knowing where I was going in the conversation, I sort of described my “5 year plan”.  Anyone who has followed my work and seen me progress knows all about my 5 year plan, because this year was the end of my 5 year plan.  Staying on track was the hardest part.  I like having things happen quickly enough that I can see tangible objects. (This is obviously not such a good thing when it comes to gardening. Many of my vegetables never quite make it because of my anxiousness to see progress.)

One of the ways to stay on track that was suggested to me was to make goals and deadlines that are checked and acted upon monthly.  Being able to cross things off of the list, or add notes to the list makes it easy to stay on track.

Having an art marketing person in your corner can help you also.  If you haven’t yet visited the best art marketing guru I know, try visiting Alyson.  She has tons of information to help you get back on track!!!

Also, check out this link. My brother is a business promoter, and he has worked with so many small companies starting out!

Finally, commit to enjoying the experience. With a positive can-do attitude, things will start falling into place.