grown.folk play in downtown LA

props to Jacopo

visit us at LA2DAY

sizzle.

No need for a setup. No need for a joke. This email exchange speaks for itself.

Never-before-seen footage of Michael Jackson’s 1984 Pepsi commercial gone awry has now surfaced. This is some freaky stuff. It is thought that the resulting injuries may have sparked his (now fatal) addiction to prescription pain killers. I know, I’m sick of hearing about MJ too, but this is worth watching. Poor guy. Coca-Cola would have never let this happen.

So word on the street is that Tony Romo broke it off with long time girlfriend Jessica Simpson this week. And all I have to say is… “Duh.” I mean are we, as a society, still going to act shocked every time a multi-billion dollar male celebrity or athlete dumps their slightly less famous, big breasted f*ck buddy? Let me explain something to you people – When you’re a pro athlete or world renowned celebrity, with all the money in the world and the power to bang any and as many women as you chose, that’s exactly what you are going to do. Bang as many women as you can before you have a career ending injury or bomb at the box office and serve a life sentence in movie jail.


Brad Pitt dumped Jen Aniston, so did John Mayer, he also dumped Jennifer Love Boobbitt. Nick Lachey dumped Jessica Simpson, Justin Timberlake dumped Britney, then Cameron Diaz and will eventually divorce Jessica Beal. I literally just laughed out loud when I thought about Timberlake and Beal’s marriage – that’s gonna last about as long as Judd Law and Sienna Miller’s engagement did.


This is just the natural circle of life people. There’s no need to buy a stack of magazines to find out what happened to Jessica and Tony’s relationship, it’s plain and simple, like all other celebrity/athlete men that stay healthy and out of movie jail, Tony will slowly transition into George Clooney, a salt and pepper-ed international playboy.

As a follow-up to yesterday’s theme of dumb people and holes, a man and his “blue passenger car” plunged 600 feet off the edge of the Grand Canyon’s South Rim at approximately 6 a.m. Tuesday morning.

“Upon arriving at the scene, investigators found tire tracks leading to the edge behind the Thunderbird Lodge.” Now, as an amateur detective and certified genius, I have used my powers of deductive reasoning to determine three possible scenarios for this, the latest feat in hole diving:

1) Bodacious suicide. If there were a top 10 list for ways to off yourself, this would have to be a top 3 contender.

2) PUI. Given the tire tracks were next to a lodge, one can only assume this was his place of respite for the night. Now, as anyone who drinks and drives knows (this is hearsay as I have never driven under the influence of any substance), parking under the influence never ends well. After a night of heavy drinking and debauchery, PUI will undoubtedly lead to a car in the lawn or, in this case, a gorge.

3) Homey pulled a Thelma & Louise. Everyone remembers the scene at the end of the iconic 1991 film where Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon drive their blue ‘66 Thunderbird off the edge of a cliff and into a canyon.

Now, if I were a betting man, I’d put my money on the latter. Let’s look at the similarities.

Tire tracks at Thunderbird Lodge. — T & L drove a ‘66 Thunderbird.

Guy’s car was blue. — So was the Thunderbird.

Cliff dive into canyon. — Any questions?

Regardless of his motives, or lack thereof, we can rest assured that this gentleman had a sweet exit. The sun rises over the South Rim of Grand Canyon National Park at aproximately 5:30 a.m. So, given his 6 a.m. departure, we can only imagine the golden, picturesque landscape he beheld in his final seconds.

With Huey Lewis’ favorite announcer giving us the whats what in tonights Home run Derby, there’s really only one choice if you are going to watch…drink, heavily.   We’ll be joining our buddies over at WoW via satelitte for tonights festivities and the construction of a beer-a-mid or two.  Mickey Mantle’s liver encourages you to play along.

Casual Mafia is proud to announce that our connection at CSI: Las Vegas has once again given us access to some of their rejected characters’ screen tests. It is no wonder that these characters were never actually used on network television. Some would call them politically incorrect, some would consider them offensive. Casual Mafia considers them funny and sexy. If you were a fan of CSI: Rejected Characters “Sexist” then you will undoubtedly enjoy both “Anti Semite” and “Pervert.”  We would also like to you warn you that these videos are NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

!!!

Greetings and Salutations Casual Mafia Blog Readers.  I hope you all had a spectacular 4th of July.  I know the 4th seems like decades ago already, but truth be told, I’m still sobering up from this past weekend’s debauchery.  Which is why I haven’t posted in quite some time.  Sorry if you missed me.  

I spent 4th of July weekend with friends from both grade school and college in Newport Beach, California.  I had no idea that SoCal knew how to party like Jersey!!  During my moments of blackout, I literally could not tell whether I was in Manasquan or Belmar on the Jersey Shore or on Season 100 of The Real World where the lazy asses in casting decided to screw the audition process and instead put 100,000 20-somethings on an island together with a never-ending supply of alcohol.  The partying was out of control and there were scantily clad bodies chugging Bud Light cans as far as the eye could see.  Basically, it was paradise.  

In this alcohol-induced sea of madness, I awoke on Monday morning at 9AM (yes, I missed work on Monday) to realize that I had lost many things over the weekend.  In addition to my dignity, pride and my digital camera that I broke, here is the list of items I am still missing:

1.  My football

2.  My handle of Stoli Vodka

3.   My ability to park my car properly

4. The white dress that I’m wearing in the above picture.

5.  A package of sundried tomato pesto chicken sausages from Trader Joes (I’m not sure if I want those back)

6. The turquoise necklace that I’m also wearing in the above picture.

7. My friend Angie 

If anyone has seen any of the above items, has an extra digital camera they can lend me for my trip to Vegas this weekend, or the number for a driving school in the greater LA area, please contact me.

I met Michael Jackson when he performed at my Bar-Mitzvah in Decebmer of 1995. My Dad was able to fund this with the money he made from taking Tapatio brand hot sauce public earlier that year. After Michael’s choreographed rendition of Black or White, he hung out at my table with my hebrew school and summer camp friends. We conversed, ate chicken tenders from The Backroom and became good friends. Since we are both creative guys, we used to give each other tips on how to further each others careers in show business. One day after my Mom made us Cocoa Crispy treats, I told him that he should get a pet monkey and name him Bubbles and he did. Another time when we were playing Sega Genesis, I told him that he should make his own game and call it “Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker” and he did. One time Michael complained about not being able to sleep at night, so I told him that he should sleep in an oxygen chamber like me and he did. Michael gave me credit for the Monkey and Sega game idea in an interview with Barbara Walters. It was awesome. When she asked him about his oxygen chamber, he said that he thought of it. That liar! Here is proof that I came up with the idea to sleep in an oxygen chamber so that I can live to be 150 years old. After that interview I stopped talking to him and he started hanging out with Macaulay Culkin.

Steve Lutsk Sleeping In A Life Extending Oxygen Chamber

best 4th of July ever. period. hands down. no discussion.

stace and i rode up the boardwalk from redondo beach to marina del rey in the late morning. we went to the Catamaran Court annual bash and chilled out to bands playing Marinapalooza.  we played ping-pong, listened to the DJ’s spinning, drank beer, rolled around in the sand on the beach, bumped into friends who had come from all over the city to be at the best party on the beach, and just generally had a badass day all around.

when the sun set we took in the fireworks and then walked over to the otheroom where we met marky mark and our J4 partners in crime (you know who you are.)

these are the pictures i’ve received so far – hopefully more coming soon

best J4 ever.

!!!

Watched the fireworks front row from Amir’s house on Washington, then lil bit and I met up w/ Danny from Miami and headed to Reign which was insane, and Nox which Rox!! Good times!!

It was an interesting Fourth of July weekend...

As our nation continues to suffer through the worst economic downturn of the young century and is mired down in a reward-less struggle, everyone took their focus away from their troubles this past lovely summer weekend to say, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA!” She’s 233 but is still the best broad in this dive-bar called earth. I wished my country a joyeux aniversaire on Thursday at 1:33 pm by updating my Facebook status and did not stop celebrating until my parents ran into me on a beach with an empty 18 rack of bud light. So the 3 1/2 day weekend had its up’s and down’s.

Thursday: New Unemployment Numbers, bad.  Grilling in NYC and getting hammered, good.

Friday: My hangover, bad. Sarah Palin’s early retirement as governess, good. Hopping around Southampton, good.

Saturday: Eating, drinking, fireworks, my American flag shorts, West Hampton: Fucking excellent.

Sunday: Waking up alone in an acquaintance’s house, not so bad.  Realizing that my friends weren’t there, bad.  Learning that they got kicked out of the party after I passed  out, bad.  Learning they had to walk 5 miles to our friend’s place, bad for them. Us drinking on the beach and me asking them to “walk a beer over to me,” good. My parents picking me up as I dispose of the evidence, very bad.

Since the pluses out weight the negatives it was an overall good time. Now add a dash of pessimism; it’s practically Monday, I have to do my devoirs, we’re still in a recession and we don’t seem to be making any progress in Afghanistan.  To  top it all off the Mets got swept by the Phillies. And watching them play in Citizen’s Bank Park made me lament Citi field’s design and long for the character of Shea and it’s neon baseball players.

But I have not lost hope for humanity this week. Monday is Dog Day Afternoon in Bryant Park. Tuesday is Belle de jour at Aliance France. The Mets are in town this week playing the Dodgers and I will be going to boo Manny Roidirez. Obama goes to Russia. I am actually looking forward to learning French and canvassing. I am also wiser after this fourth of July weekend and I am glad that there are no Facebook pictures as evidence of my activities on the South Fork of Long Island; A British Spy was not so fortunate.

Drink that blogosphere !

My friend Becca is trying out for the Knicks and needs votes. She danced for them a few years back and is trying to make the team again. I’d really appreciate it if you took (literally) 2 seconds to vote for her.

You just go HERE – scroll down to the picture of Becca and click – click CAST VOTE

Done. Easy-peesy.

Please and thank you

and if you’re in need of some extra good karma, then you can feel free to spam the sh*t out of your email lists as well

love love
aubs

This week’s Funny/Sexy pick is a classic; a staple in the Funny/Sexy macrocosm… I give you Jennifer Aniston:


Almost everyone remembers Jennifer Aniston and her nipples making their big debut on the hit NBC sitcom: “Friends” in 1994. However, prior to landing the part of Rachel Green on “Friends”, Aniston played the lead in a lesser known horror film entitled “Leprechaun”.

She quickly realized Scary/Sexy was’t going to be as lucrative as Funny/Sexy and made the logical jump to a career in comedy. “Friends” is arguably the most successful sitcom of the last decade, which I account to the steady presence of equal parts: funny and sexy. Though “Friends” was much more female orientated, the show commanded a strong male audience by casting smoking hot leads, Anitson and Courtney Cox.

Phoebe was pretty hideous, but acted slutty sometimes, so she was cool… The whole friends crew was pretty clean cut and casually sexy. A style we here at the Casual Mafia commend.

10 seasons of laughs and nipples later, the world of Hollywood was Aniston’s for the taking. After a few attempts at chick flicks (The Object of My affection), dramas (The Good Girl), and movies starring Mark Walberg (Rock Star), Aniston finally found her niche back to her roots in Funny/Sexy. Jennifer Anitson’s best known movies include: Office Space, Bruce Almighty, Along Came Polly, The Break-Up, and Marley and Me – all comedies. It seems no matter how hard she tries to break out of comedy, she always finds herself back. Jen – You are the perfect mix of Funny/Sexy… don’t fight it, just continue to cash in on it. You banged Brad Pitt, what else do you need to prove?

Most recently you can see Aniston, opposite Steve Zahn, in “Management”, a RomCom, which apparently bombed because it got released in May, and I haven’t heard anything about it…. yikes.

These days Jen is rumored to be dating Bradley Cooper. I just mentioned that to help get this blog views. Personally, I’m all for this relationship – seems Aniston is finally dating in her league. Cooper isn’t famous enough to crush her soul like Pitt and Mayer did. Good Luck You Crazy Kids!

!!!

Thursday night went to Blue Label…it was packed and sooooooooo much fun!! Friday went to see La Diabla @ House of Blues, great show despite the 100 degree temp.  it seriously felt like hell in there!! After the show we went to The Manor where the music is always good and the place is so much fun!! Saturday I spent the day @ the pool w/ my nieces and nephew and bro and sis n law…Saturday night went to Eight and Nox……..Good times!! Sunday my roomie and I took the metro rail to the Pavillion and had brunch @ Guadalajara…it was GREAT!! Dinner @ Cyclones and then a corona @ Open City….Overall the weekend was quite eventful!!

In the year 2000 Jerry Bruckheimer blessed us with the  greatest prime time detective  series of all time, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.  CSI follows several Las Vegas detectives in their examinations of brutal crimes, deaths, suicides and semen excretion parties.  The series which has spawned two spin-offs and over 200 episodes continues to dominate the weekly TV ratings and with the addition of Laurence Fishburne to the cast, we don’t see it ending any time soon. Although Laurence Fishburne was ultimately chosen as the lead, the casting process was lengthy and difficult for the producers. They auditioned hundreds of potential actors, some good, some not so good, and some just plain painful. We at The Casual Mafia were able to get a hold of some of these rare tapes and are proud to share them with the rest of the world. We proudly present to you the first of these tapes in our new video series, CSI: Rejected Characters.

or  The Fall of Michael Jackson?

There are many people more talented than Michael Jackson.

There is something besides pop culture! This era since the 60’s is going to be described as the dark ages in the history books.

Pop culture does little for art, thinking, virtue, knowledge,love,discipline .. you name it the list goes on and on!

It certainly glorifies greed, debauched wasted lives and immorality!

Michael Jackson is an icon of pop culture, nothing more, nothing less.

Very little in pop culture survives the moment; and they all eat their own!

So I go to see this movie Year One over the weekend, thinking: “Yes! Jack Black, Michael Cera, caveman humor, directed by Harold Ramis! How can this be bad?!” – Well I’m here to tell you how…

This whole movie seemed to be a tad script-less. And not in an ad-libby fun way, in a – “What the hell is going on and why is there no story line?” way. The film’s Writer/Director, Harold Ramis, has been a staple in hollywood, and specifically the comedy genre since the 70’s. He has worked on such classics as Caddy Shack, Ghostbusters, Analyze That, Groundhog Day, and countless others. So what happened here? Could he have just rushed this out for the paycheck, did his wife want a new addition to her house, or chest? Did the cast and crew have bad chemistry on set? I guess the world will never know, but what is for sure, is that this movie is totally mediocre, subpar, and not worthy of a theater viewing. Don’t even wait for the DVD, PPV, Netflick rental, or movie premium channel release. Just wait the 5 years and catch it on Comedy Central at 2am on a Thursday.

Comedy Great (or so I thought): Harold Ramis

Paul Rudd, Jack Black & David Cross

“For the majority of mollusks, the visible organic form has little importance in the life of the members of a species, since they cannot see one another and have, at most, only a vague perception of other individuals and of their surroundings. This does not prevent brightly colored stripings and forms which seem very beautiful to our eyes (as in many gastropod shells) from existing independently of any relationship to visibility.”

-Italo Calvino, Cosmicomics

Geo  Logos XIII

Geo Logos  II

This series is printed on double sided mylar that has a fabulous texture for digital prints, and is translucent in surprising ways. Dimensions: 60″ by 36″

Geo Logos  III

// Share

We are gearing up for Pride week here in my neighborhood.  The voyeur report on Sunday should be better than ever.  The anticipation of the debauchery is building to a crescendo.  Enjoy the following two videos while you wait with baited breathe:

Gratitude: cooking a big italian meal with lots of fresh vegetables, being there to listen for a friend, Baby Anthony’s big smiles, finishing the edits on a publication, daydreams about night things in the middle of the afternoon (HAAHA!), conference calls about STEM (Seattle take me away), quiet contentment,  just the right amount of lighting, good coffee at the end of the day, and being able to take up the whole fucking bed and being able to  leave unmentionables out (but then when friends come over you have to remember to remove said items so they don’t accidentally lay on them and discover your dirty little secrets).