High School Buddies

During Mother’s day, Charlie sent a usual text message for his friends’ moms and since at that time, I was already preparing for my life in Singapore, I replied and told him that I’m about to leave the country to pursue a career abroad. It was only then that I knew that he’s already based in Iloilo for his work. He replied back and told me when he’s going to Manila and said that we will set one Saturday to meet our friends. After a week, a text message came for a night out with our high school friends which I immediately looked forward to. I seldom meet up with them after College for some strange reasons I can’t figure out. Then after 2 years, I showed up then saw Patrick, Madison, Charlie, Clint, and Espi.  We just had dinner at Kalye Juan in Tomas Morato and had some buckets of beer then started reminiscing about our good old days in high school. We talked about all the crazy things we did and had a realization that we have evolved from being spoiled brats to becoming the mature individuals that we are right now. All of them expected that I’ll be the one to pursue a legal profession which obviously didn’t happen while it turned out that Ace just recently passed the bar with Patrick and Romer awaiting for their bar exams a few months from now. Right now, it certainly is so fun talking about the shallow and stupid things we all did when we were teens then talking about plans of settling down and saving up for the future. The night commenced by having a cup of coffee at a nearby Starbucks and exchange of embraces amongst friends who have known and stood for each other for a long time. It was just fun going back to those good old days.

SFC/Junio Family Surprise Despedida Party

The next Saturday, JB texted me in the morning and asked if we can go to the gym so he can destress. Since I haven’t transferred my membership to Yna yet, I said yes but with slight hesitation since I was tired the previous day doing tons of transition work. But after jogging at the treadmill, I felt the intensity of the adrenaline rush and had an instant motivation to work out some more and so we left the gym a bit late. JB kept on asking about the rate if ever he and his friends would rent the rooftop. When it was time to go home, he said he needs to go meet Ate Dothy at her place to get some stuff for the CLP. So when we were about to enter our village, he asked asked if he can go to our place first since he felt he needed to use the washroom. When we went to our place, I was shocked to see some SFC brothers in our house then JB said he wanted to see the rooftop. So when I showed him where it was, that’s when I saw almost the whole chapter and my relatives already having a party. It was a night of singing, food, picture taking in every corner, and great laughter. No dramas, just plain fun that made me not forget about my very 1st SFC chapter.  I really can’t forget Third & Trian’s performance when they rendered songs the same way they did when they were still kids. To me, I just loved how they sang You First Believed during that night. I also didn’t know how to bid goodbye to my relatives then since I was too busy with my preparations for my departure but there they were, invited by my siblings for that particular night.  I guess I can count this occasion as one of those events when I felt so happy (ironic as it is when I was about to leave). It was really surprising and it did matter so much to me knowing that I was about to leave the country  and the most special people in your life did something special to you. I really don’t know how to thank all of them who made me feel happy that night. Click here for more pics.

Third and Trian’s Performance

Tito Bot’s Phonepatch, hehe

I hate to admit it but I was holding my tears seeing Third and Trian sing Hoku’s hit when this shot was taken

My relatives who surprised me

With the SFC sisters from my chapter (except for 2, hehe)

With SFC brothers from my chapter

The Kidnapper and the victim hehe

With my younger siblings

And with my siblings who make me young, hahaha

Cheriboys Despedida

The night after, I went out with the Cheriboys. We went to Eastwood for dinner then moved to Metrowalk for some drinks. It has been a very long time since we had a night out. Unfortunately, Ryan was not able to make it as he was watching over Tito Tony who was confined at the hospital and when we offered to go to the hospital first, we just found out that visiting hours are already over so the Cheriboys were not complete during that night. It was just fine since it’s more important for Ryan to be with his dad anyway and I know we will definitely be complete in one of my visits to the Philippines. One good thing is that we were all able to catch up on each other.

Cheripic without Ryan

Last Day at Work

What I know is that this day was so filled with food, hugs, gifts, laughter, and a lot of picture taking! Indeed, I felt so relieved knowing that I am about to move on to something new in my career but I certainly know that I’ll terribly miss my team and friends.  It was also this day when Archie, my buddy from Sykes was able to hang out with me before I went to Eastwood (since he was on vacation from law school that day and my other buddies were at work). They not only gave me stuff that I will remember them for but great memories of genuine friendship that you would rarely see in a working environment we were at.

With my closest friends

With SFCs at IBM

With Archie

With Yna

With Yna’s team

With my best buddies

The people whom I processed my US Visa with

Ex-Sykes colleagues, and now, Ex-IBM collegues hehe

Going over some presents

With my team

Family Outing

Day before I left for Singapore, I had an awesome day with my family at Club Manila East. I just thought that I have to be with my loved ones whom I will miss the most. So even if I barely got some sleep after my last day at IBM, I need to have my senses awake as this will be my last one whole day with my family for the quarter. We had sumptuous lunch at the resort and enjoyed the pool the whole day. The fun wouldn’t be complete without Mishka showing her cute antics especially her dancing and giggling at the pool. I absolutely love the sight of her stomping feet whenever the artificial waves would hit her face, she is just so funny! We then felt how complete we were when we visited Papa’s grave and asked him to pray for my safe departure to the Philippines. The venue was so strategic as Club Manila East is only 10 minutes away from where Papa is laid to rest. It was so fun and a great memory for me to keep before leaving. Click here for more pictures.

So cute…

Family pic the day before I left

Three weeks ago, Raine (a friend of mine who recently left IBM and now working in Singapore) asked for my resume as they are in need of people who have recruiting and HRIS background. The next day, she called me up and said that her boss wanted to interview me during the week so I thought that it’s going to be a phone interview since they are based in Singapore. To my surprise, she said that I have to fly to Singapore for the interview and that the airfare and accommodation will be shouldered by their company. Being the traveler that I am, I said yes since I haven’t done anything or gone somewhere yet since the start of summer and everything’s for free anyway. I just thought there was nothing to lose if I go. As things were happening so fast, I consulted my family right away about the job opportunity as windows for migration are already opening. I also asked friends who are working in Singapore and surveyed on how much they normally spend for their needs on a monthly basis as cost of living is more expensive there as compared to what it is here in the Philippines. So I texted some close friends for prayers but I barely got any sleep as I was still thinking about the possibilities. When I got to the office that night, the first thing I saw in my email was my eticket to Singapore and the first person I saw was Robbie whom I discussed the events with. When Jeremy (my boss) arrived at the office, I talked to him right away and filed for a leave and had the resolve to tell him honestly that I’ll be having a job interview in Singapore. He gave me his permission and wished me luck. I even felt guilty because he asked me to go home right away since there was nothing much to do so I can pack up.

I still couldn’t get to sleep when I got home so I decided to pack up. I was able to get a decent sleep and able to wake up at the right time for my last-minute preparations for my flight. I traveled alone and had a flight at past 4 PM then arrived at Singapore 20 minutes before 8 PM. I noticed how clean the city is on my way to the hotel. From there, I was able to meet Matt, Raine’s friend and a former colleague of hers at Lufthansa. I have the same background as his and like me, he is also a candidate for the post I was being considered for.  The meeting was very casual and we were both glad to have known that we both attended the same program in CSB.

The next day was our interview and we had Philip, a British guy, for an interviewer. Matt was the first to be interviewed and told me that it was so simple and that he thought he had more questions for Philip than it was the other way around. When it was my turn, Matt was right as I thought that the interview was candid and was a simple discussion with a few inquiries about my background and my capabilities. Of course there were a few challenges about some points in the interview but in the end, we both agreed on something and told me that he will present a job offer to Matt and myself right away! So it was presented and upon thinking about all major points to consider, I thought that the offer was really promising for myself and for my family, most importantly. The next day, I handed over the signed job offer and started processing my requirements. I was also able to meet Paul and Lee, my closest friends in College who are already based in Singapore.

When I came back to the office, Jeremy was not shocked that I filed my resignation and I really felt fortunate that he was so happy for me and so supportive. The thing is, I never anticipated this opportunity coming nor was thinking about it but it came when I was thinking about so many things like some financial concerns, desire to do something better in my career, working on daytime, having more time to serve in SFC, and all others (relationship??? ). But this just came when I least expected it. Though another tradeoff is that I’ll be living away from my family, Singapore is just 3 hours away from the Philippines so visiting home will be easy and the fact that airfare isn’t too expensive. Ate Jeng and I agreed that it was just an answer to what we just recently discussed. All these can only be attributed to the One who has never abandoned me.

As I only have a few weeks here in the Philippines, I am making a great deal of effort to catch up with my friends and spend more quality time with my family. I am also busy turning over my work to the person replacing me and I will soon start looking for a house where I can stay. I just can’t believe that all of these are happening. Though I am absolutely excited about this new chapter in my life, I can’t deny the fact that I’ll miss a lot of people here. But I know things will turn out right…

At my hotel room

At the merlion

Durian Republic, hehe

With future team mates

With Lee

F1!!!

I remember writing 2 years ago, that I noticed that there’s always something different on how we celebrate Christmas eves and how it gets better each year. Christmas of 2007 has proven this right again. If you’ve read the link I provided in the first sentence, you’ll understand why it so matters to me going out on vacation with the family for the first time in 6 years (as we haven’t done this after all the the tough times we went through) plus the fact that we have a new baby in the family. After the Christmas Eve mass, all I felt was nothing but how blessed I am and how hope is turning into reality. 2007 has been a year of of hope for me. I have witnessed how wonderful things can happen with the wink of an eye, with God overturning events through His promises. I am just overwhelmed by the fact that I am now picking up the pieces and everything is gradually going to the right places, happening in His perfect time.

Sometimes, it is just exciting to plan things ahead. The idea that you are looking at directions on where you want to be and seeing how feasible to get there based on where you are now somehow makes you elated in a strange but sensical manner.

Planning actually works for some people but for me, it was just historically never been successful. I used to be a great fan of plotting events in my life but the turn of events just went against my perspectives. I used to think that I can always find answers to all my questions but then, not even the world’s greatest pundit can give you the best lecture in Life 101. What I’ve learned so far is that we could never dictate these events and just be the best we can as things happen.

Although I do not see anything wrong with planning things  but sometimes, people have the tendency to get stuck on their plans and miss out on some of the more important things in life. Much worse, what you may have planned for would not transpire as some irreversible circumstances may hinder them when things are about to happen. This, however, is not a skeptic’s argument but a point of view I gained from the numerous events that happened to me. People who have heard my story can fully comprehend why I am ascribing to this school of thought. I could tell anyone that the best things that happened to me were never part of my plans, that some circumstances I never expected going through taught me the lessons I needed, and most of my greatest plans never happened the way I thought it should.

As there is no existing debate on destiny against free will on my head, I still have this belief that in one way or another, both balance each other out in a manner I could not decipher. This is the reason why I think that although I can enjoy my freedom, I still don’t have total control of what will happen to me if I refer to my left libertarian philosophy. On the other hand, my Christian philosophy tells me that the One up there is the one who plotted the most accurate map for my life journey and I should just humbly follow. I just know that I want to have a meaningful life, fulfill my passion as time takes its course, and establish a worthwhile relationship with the people around me.

In today’s mass, the second reading said that faith is the realization of things hoped for and evidence of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1).  Those who pray can affirm that this is true. Current situations in my life are I can say, have been the product of my prayers and of those people who have prayed for me. With Mishka (my 1st niece) coming into this world, I have seen hope in what’s in store for my family. Believe me, her birth made me witness  so many possibilities I have never imagined. Work has been extra demanding lately and some situations have been very irritating but then, things are happening in my favor as I have asked Him. The Christian Life Program is happening so smoothly with Jesus inspiring me so much that there are more participants this time and the service team showing amazing commitment! I may not have the most comfortable life but thank God I survive everyday and there are things I am not asking for but will later realize, are huge blessings from above.  On a lighter note, my going to the gym paid off as most people have been noticing how much weight I’ve lost. I can feel it too as I can move more freely as compared to the time I gained, the issue now is maintenance (hehe).

What I am trying to point out is that prayer does not make life perfect but it gives us a better perspective on how we ought to view challenges, how it allows us to reexamine our aspirations, making us appreciate the value of waiting, knowing how we can act upon things, how it will make you more committed with your pact with a personal God, and most importantly, accepting His will for us. It is just a great way to balance human desires and submission to Divine Providence. You may ask for something now but later on, whatever outcome will be, makes you acknowledge why it was answered or not at that time.  

Right now, I still am praying for so many things for my family, that work will not be too demanding but I would easily respond to challenges, how my desires for my future will succeed, and having that special someone. Yup, the latter is such a great concern right now – you know that it is already the right time to act when this is becoming one of the priorities. I am confident that these will happen in His time as He never had a deaf ear with what I asked from Him. Being specific with what you ask for establishes a more cozy relationship with Jesus and it increases the likelihood of having it bound to happen. I guess you can attribute this from believing that He can make each step possible.

And they say, that prayers are more effective when others are praying for you… you’ve read what I am currently praying for.

Oh well, I know I haven’t updated my blog for the longest time. I just didn’t have the time to do so due to the many activities I’ve been doing since I came back. I then opted to make a random list of the recent things that happened:

- Going home after work is now something to look forward to. Third and Trian are now staying at home even during school season as Third is gonna be attending college in UST. Trian is already grown-up (as much as I hate to admit it) and can now manage to stay home by herself occasionally and like Third, will now be studying here in Metro Manila.

- I definitely am missing SFC activities during weeknights. As I am now working on night shift, attending teachings or chapter assemblies is now a luxury for me. There was a time when I took a leave just to attend our chapter assembly. However, the Lord is still giving me opportunities to serve Him no matter what. I still serve on weekends whenever there’s a chance (and knowing how many activities we have in SFC, there are a lot of opportunities). Good thing that I never lost track of what’s going on in the chapter, I have attended some CLP sessions, our chapter outing, and recently, a meeting at the CFC center to establish the SCOM. I’m still working out with my leaders on the schedule of our household meetings. I really miss my household (both upper and lower) in so many ways and for so many reasons. But honestly, I wish that the SFC leadership will start catering to the night shifters as the prevailing reality in the world today is that the number of its members who work on night shift and involved in outsourced work is increasing. This will retain committed members who are willing to serve despite the schedule and evangelize in a larger context. I say this as I I know there will be a lot of ways to work this out, He never loses His plans for the community anyway. On another note, I am really looking forward to the MMC this July…

- I am indeed, finding fulfillment with my new career. Not only that I am able to use what I’ve learned before but everyday is a gift to learn something new. Truly, doing offshore HR work is a new endeavor in this day and age and therefore, ultimately entails lots of challenges for service owners and clients alike. You can’t avoid the fact that some clients are resistant to change but the challenge you have everyday is convincing them how you make their processes better. Right now, I’ve attended 3 major trainings in my new job in less than 4 months. What excites me more with what I currently do is that I get to conduct training sessions once in a while and I can’t believe that I can now make web-based reports (here, users will make a query and in a few seconds, data will be available!) which was something I did not expect doing.

- I know I gained a lot of weight due to the fatty American diet when I was in the States. And boy, the change in my physique was so noticeable when I came back! So, I accepted this as a challenge and humbly responded to it by enrolling myself to the gym. I usually work out before coming to work and I have discovered how good it feels to sweat out everyday. Well, it has just been two weeks and some people say that I am gradually (again, gradually) losing some weight.

- Now I believe that it really pays off not to have a revengeful heart. I don’t need to say more but I felt vindicated for something. And I am happily whistling, in the distance….

 - I miss so many friends and I absolutely miss my cherifriends like hell. I get to talk and see them separately (except for PA) but we have never been together for almost half a year already! We all owe each other some stories about ourselves as I am aware that there have been a lot of events that happened to each of us. Despite this, I am certain that the brotherly bond is still as strong as ever!

So many things have happened and this is the time that I have a better appreciation of everything that the Lord has been doing for me. We are indeed, not living in a perfect world but I guess being happy is a personal decision, not a simple command of fate. What I mentioned may speak of what happened to me recently and depict the things that I aspire for.

Jesus still rocks!

My body clock easily adjusted to the local time here and it wasn’t difficult for me to get a sleep during my first night. Perhaps this could have been the positive result of my countless sleepless nights prior to leaving the Philippines when I was bothered by the delay in the release of my US visa and the stress from turning over my work when I resigned from Sykes. Because of these, I had my first stress-free sleep after two weeks.

February 8, 2007 (First Training Day, Winter Pix, and Golf Mills)

My first morning was a great one. I just discovered that we’re being served buffet breakfast everyday and boy, I’m freakin serious to say that there are tons of food every morning! After breakfast, I was surprised to see Marie, a former teammate in Sykes HR at the hotel lobby, and found out that she is, once again, a colleague here in IBM! I was really happy to see her as she was close to me when she was in Sykes. And so I attended the training and I was amazed by the various facets of HR being discussed in the sessions. Being in this training makes me recall the key HR concepts I learned in college and what made it better is the way the trainers point out industry practices in relation to the concepts they discuss. My appreciation of the discussions enticed me to go back to the academe soon (hmmm, still a plan, though). After training, Mark, Jean, Dianne, and I decided to take our individual shots at the hotel garden to enjoy winter. At night, we went to Golf Mills to buy some grocery, to my disappointment, none of the groceries they have made me want to buy them and the result was that I was able to buy a very cheap backpack for my laptop.

Excited to experience snow

February 9, 2007 (Survival Tricks, 2nd Set of Winter Pix, Hitting the Gym, and Introduction to SFC Chicago)

In the morning, I realized that despite the wide array of food they serve during breakfast, they served the same food as they did the previous day. I was told by those who arrived prior to me that they serve the same breakfast everyday so I have to get used to it. What can I do? This is complimentary breakfast and that would be better than buy breakfast everyday and have myself get easily emptyhanded. And as Filipinos have an impressive track record of  handling uncertainties, those who have stayed longer taught me tricks to save my per diem: that is, get 2-3 pieces of the complimentary fruit jams or cream cheese and fruits during breakfast, pretend that I didn’t finish them, and bring them to my hotel room. Hehe, I eat these fruits for dinner and good thing I don’t get to spend anything since I don’t really eat much during dinner. Training ended at 2 PM since we were able to finish fast and headed immediately towards the hotel. Upon getting at the hotel, I showed the frontdesk the address where the CLP will be held and they told me it’s far from the hotel and it would cost me $55 going there. I immediately told Mark (my contact from SFC Chicago) about my problem with the distance of the CLP venue from the hotel and he told me he’ll find a way. While waiting for his call, I worked out at the gym since I felt I was getting bloated with the large serving of food here. After spending an hour at the gym and spending a few moments outside the hotel, Patrick (a brother from SFC here) left a voice message and asked me to call him. After talking to him, he told me that he can give me a ride since he lives nearby. He was at the hotel at exactly 6 PM and I found out that he’s an American, I just thought that the one I talked to was a Filipino who had an American accent and can’t speak Tagalog. We fetched Faye, one of the sisters, and finally arrived at the CLP venue after 30 minutes (if this is the travelling time, it means that it’s a bit far since the venue is at downtown Chicago). It was Talk 1 and their chapter is quite huge and they had roughly 20 participants with a few non-Filipinos. Before the CLP started, I was introduced to the chapter and they were warm in welcoming me. After the talk, there was a group discussion and members also grouped themselves to discuss the topics in the participants’ guide questions. Food was served too, after the CLP, and while having some chat with their members, I was also given my temporary household for my entire stay here in Chicago. I’ll be attending household meetings here every Wednesday night. Being with the SFC community here makes me feel like home and reminded me of my chaptermates. Thank God that the community is global!

Here’s the 2nd set of my OFW pics, hehe…

Not wearing bonnet in the cold so as not to mess my hair (so cheri, hehe)

Snacks after the CLP, very SFC… These are the only pics I have as I spent most of the time speaking with the brothers and sisters

February 10, 2007 (Shopping at Gurnee Mills)

The whole team met at the lobby at 9AM and headed to Gurnee Mills near downtown Chicago. It’s a great place to shop and all of us were just smiling at the end of the day…

I know it’s been quite a while since I last posted. But 2007 started with so many fulfillment of wishes and to some extent, some events I never thought would happen really soon.

The year ended right knowing that I celebrated Christmas with the whole family and knowing that I’ll be an uncle soon. Yup, I’m just happy that Ate Jhett is pregnant and the whole family is so excited now that we’re expecting an additional member of the clan. I was also able to attend the CSB Debate Society’s Christmas party and met the new generation of debaters and it was very memorable as they have reminded me of the idealisms that I should still hold on to. It was also a great year to attend the Sykes Christmas party as it was a rockin’ one.  The SFC Christmas parties (the sector’s and the chapter’s) were memorable too as the community celebrated the Lord’s gift of service to each of us. The past year was a year of great service and knowing Him better. Another good way to end the year is by having the Cherisession in our house for the Christmas season. I need not to elaborate on this one but what transpired that night were moments of genuine brotherhood.

The major change for me is by being blessed with a new job. It was the 1st time in 3 years that I prayed for career growth and the next day, I immediately got a call from IBM Business Services and was scheduled for an interview. After almost 2 weeks, I got an offer where I’ll have a promising career and will also help my family as Third will be in College this coming schoolyear. I never thought that God will give me this at the least time I was expecting it. It’s ironic though that when I’m leaving the call center industry, it’s this time that I’ll be doing graveyard shift permanently. This means that I won’t get to attend my upper household meetings and chapter assemblies anymore although I heard that there’s an SFC chapter in the office so I guess He still have plans with my pastoral track. My weekends though, are still normal and I can still conduct lower households and serve. For sure there will be a lot of ways for me to cope with these changes since God allowed these things to happen. Although it’s quite sad as I’ll be leaving a lot of friends in Sykes as I’ve been with that company for almost 4 years.

By next week, I’ll be flying to Chicago for training and I’ll stay there for almost 2 months. I already have contacts in the SFC chapter there so I can still attend household meetings even if I’m in a foreign land. Thank God that the community is global.  Although I’m excited as I’ll be leaving the country after 3 years, I’ll be missing a lot of people since I’ll stay there for quite awhile.

Oh well, changes sometimes happen with the wink of an eye and just depict the realities of life. However, looking at the brighter and pragmatic side of these realities, these are also blessings from above that will allow me to embark into brand new beginnings.

SYKES CHRISTMAS PARTY 2006

DECEMBER 06 PETIKS SEASON (HEHE)

SFC EAST A CHRISTMAS PARTY

CHRISTMAS WITH THE FAMILY (2006)

DECEMBER 06 CHERISESSION @ MY PLACE

We all have habits that we are fond of for they give us a sense of liberation. Although some of these are not done often, the idea that you’re going back to it makes you realize that there are deeper things that ought to be discovered in these simple tasks.

The Competitive Habit

Oh yes, I am a very competitive individual but my intention behind every competition is to increase my self-discipline and not to destroy others. And gracious coolness, after almost a decade, I have once again, joined an athletic tournament. In one of my posts, I narrated how I felt practicing for the Sykes Football Tournament and indeed, it finally happened last November 12 at Xavier School. It’s funny that it was held there as this is where I had my 1st soccer tournament in Grade 5 and since history repeats itself, I lost my 1st game in a tournament in the same place and played as striker and midfielder. Unlike the other Sykes tournaments where teams are formed according to departments, here, teams are formed based on your site assignments and I played for the OSMA Team. We first faced the RS Team (defending champion for 3 consecutive years) and lost on a 6-0 game. We then faced the BCT Team and won 3-0 and it could have been 4-0 if I was successful in my attempt to score. There were 4 teams competing and the 3rd game in the prelims was the most critical for our team. We will face the KPT Team on a 1-1 record while they are on a 0-2 record (since their first game with BCT was a draw and lost to RS), so we kinda have an advantage and the way to enter the finals is to either have a draw or win the last game in the prelims. As it started, it was full of tension since it’s a make or break round. The KPT team has good defenders and their strikers do run fast so it was such an exciting game. After 3 minutes, they were the first to score so we all agreed that we have to at least score once to ensure that we’re going to the finals. And before halftime, we scored our first goal and was followed by the second one after a few minutes. Before the game ended, we had our last goal so we won 3-1! And then, we faced RS in the finals with the rest of the teams rooting for us since like us, they too, desire to rob off the championship title from them. The RS Team is composed of a member of the Philippine Soccer Team and 4 of our employees from the Ivory Coast where soccer is almost a religion. We lost 5-0 and the RS Team defended their crown. It was fun for at least we also defended our 2nd place title! Hehe. And this time, I’m looking forward to playing soccer regularly since we are now organizing a regular playing schedule. The team I played for was fun and we displayed cohesiveness that made us reach the finals even if our intention was just to enjoy the games.

The OSMA Football Team

While defenders were doing their job…

Against KPT Team

Battling for ball possession

I finally got it!

Such a tiring game

 The Habit of Confession

Although I have been a practicing Catholic since childhood, the sacrament of confession is what I once questioned when I reached college until I entered SFC. My argument against this sacrament before was, “if we have a forgiving and personal God, then why do I have to confess my sins to a priest and not say my sincerest apologies to my Creator during my personal time with Him at prayer?”. I have even mentioned this to a friend and he then asked me how I view priests as they officiate the mass and I told him that priests represent Christ as the former are today’s disciples who should continue His work. And he told me that priests have also been anointed by Jesus to extend His power to forgive sins in the same manner that He empowered His disciples to forgive sins and heal the sick in His name. Like St. Paul on his way to Damascus, I was ultimately struck by the simple rebuttal that my friend told me to debunk my complicated argument against the sacrament of confession. This year, I have confessed twice. The first one was last February and the second was last Friday at the EDSA Shrine, the place where I served the Lord through the Youth of the EDSA Shrine when I was in high school. I even saw a brother and a sister in SFC at the Shrine and that short moment in that place reminded me of my connection with my Creator for such a long time. That time at the confessional box taught a stubborn sinner like me to continue being humble and always ask for His forgiveness. Good timing that this morning, I just read a post in Bo Sanchez’s blog on how the sacrament of confession teaches us to be honest and how eventually, it sets us free from enslavement to our favorite mistakes. Yesterday, I also realized that during confession, the priest was necessary to help us interpret God’s divine mercy in our human language. Now that I appreciate this sacrament better, I hope to receive this more often.

The Habit of Worship

Yesterday, I just attended “SFC UP!”, SFC Manila’s last general membership assembly for this year. It’s an assembly where the notable services of some SFC members were recognized (including that of Ate Rosalyn’s, one of our chapter’s finest elders). I won’t really delve too much on the details of the activity but the reason why I appreciated this event is its praisefest. Although it was expected to have a praisefest as it was a major gathering,  being in a vibrant worship just complements the fact that I just received the sacrament of reconciliation last Friday.

There you have it, these two habits that I have recently regained and the one I missed are all liberating. While the competitive habit gives me fulfillment through discipline, on the other hand, the habits of confession and worship teach me honesty and humility that strengthen my personal friendship with Jesus. Nothing could be more liberating when you know that after all, you still go back to the habits you have not done recently and committing yourself to get attached to it once again.

These past few months, those friends of mine who have been single for years like me are already in a relationship. It was just surprising that I’ve been hearing these good news from my friends since summer and two days ago, two of my friends told me that they’re taken. I’ve noticed that in all of my circle of friends, most of them are taken and have been in the company of that person who makes them feel special. Everybody seems to have been finding the “one” and here I am, thinking what will happen to me. I’m happy with my life but then, the idea that I’ve been single for years sometimes makes me feel empty. Despite this, I don’t wanna force myself to enter into a relationship just for the sake of having someone with me. It’s just that I have not seen someone just yet whom I think is gonna be my “GG” (God’s Gift, that’s how we call girlfriends or boyfriends in the SFC community). With such changes happening to my friends, sometimes I’m thinking when my turn would be. That time when I’ll feel such intimacy again after a long time. I know that this is happening for a purpose and I’m confident that He will introduce me to her anytime soon. Of course I know that I still have to do the changes in me so that I’ll be worthy for that person who will inspire me to become a better man. I honestly am very much happy for all my friends who are now happy with their partners and I long for that day that they will be happy for me in return. I surely know that it will happen, in His perfect time.

If there’s an institution that completely epitomizes modern-day feudalism, it is nothing but the corporate world. It is where greed prevails and if monitoring is of low caliber, a company may become highly prone to corruption. But despite this sad truth, it has a lot of good qualities as it gives source of income to people, it enhances the skills of many, and a good venue to practice the value of generosity. What I only hate about the corporate world is when people become unreasonable and overly obsessed with achievements. It is because of these factors when their values are superceded by their selfish interests and eventually, leads to its deterioration. It is absolutely depressing to witness how some people would solely give importance to profitability than be concerned of human welfare -instead of balancing the two. I just want to make it clear though that both are important in improving the plight of business establishments. As an HR practitioner, I deem it necessary to engage everyone involved in a certain pursuit rather than just force something that they think is needed for the business. Without such engagement, business would not be facilitated in an acceptable manner. It is a sad truth that even if you’ll pick up a lot of values in the corporate world, it is also a breeding ground for a lot of corrupt people. These jerks sometimes need a dose of their medicine and ought to hear messages that will remind them of the values that must be brought into the business. I’m not surprised why there’s a high rate of suicide among people who can’t manage uncertainties well and to those who are obsessed with achievement.

I was in Glorietta yesterday since I was about to buy something. As it was after office hours, it was obvious from most people I saw how stressed they were from work and their visit to the mall was their sanctuary from the day’s routine. You can see how fast people walked, men rolling up their sleeves while walking, and the long line in the fastfood chains. This is a normal occurrence in an urban environment.

While I’ve been witnessing these things, the national anthem played and so I immediately stopped walking since this was how every Filipino was trained in school. Like the other people in the mall, I  stopped walking as a sign of respect to my country. And the people in front of me were still walking and I saw that they’re foreigners – so they’re exempted. But to my surprise, I saw tons of young Filipinos who continued walking fast as if they did not hear the national anthem being played loudly! It was even disgusting to see one group where one of their friends stopped walking and his friends laughed at him for choosing to express his patriotism for a few minutes. What’s worse is thay they were forcing their friend to continue walking with them and good thing that this person didn’t listen to his friends. This wasn’t the only group in the mall that did such extreme display of national apathy but believe me, there were tons of them! An instance like this is a genuine byproduct of consumerism. People chose to prioritize to buy their needs than express their loyalty to their nation for a few minutes.

No wonder voter turnout is fluctuating every election! No wonder older Filipinos say that this generation is losing its direction – simply because some of the young (educated) people today have chosen to taint their national identity! No wonder most Filipinos in our generation do not see hope in our country precisely because they have chosen not to be proud of the things that make them Filipinos for consciously abandoning our national values! And I believe this scenario can be one of the reasons why foreigners are affirming their criticisms against us because we ourselves could not stand up for our country – even for that simple act of showing respect to our national anthem. I guess yesterday’s sight shows that the youth today have a misconception of our freedom to choose.

Pardon me for this, but I could not imagine for the life of me that what I saw yesterday is a manifestation of massive apathy by simply not fulfilling our basic duties as Filipino citizens.

All of us are bound to fall prey to the changes that happen in our lives. Hence, it’s indeed a mixture of events that we desire or perhaps, be trapped in unlikely situations we do not ever imagine ourselves in. Sometimes these things happen instantaneously, with the wink of an eye, you will just realize that the world has staged a different scenario for you. I have been a subject of these things as I have been into many circumstances in my life. I’ve been a witness to a life full of bliss and to the unjust realities that this world has to offer. But then again, as I turn 25 in 2 months, I came into a conclusion that such things are all part of life’s cycle. It would be meaningless not to experience pain as you won’t have any idea what it is to be in a state of life that’s filled with joy. Such a comparison is needed for you to identify the genuine meaning of the other.

It is indeed a normal activity for a young man to analyze his present state and predict the circumstances he’ll face in the future. I would be a hypocrite if I deny that I am not painting an ideal situation that I want to be in. But then, reality dictates that human reason could not explain with much preponderance the series of events that are bound to transpire in someone’s life.

I honestly don’t know what lies ahead of me and it pains me like hell to be aware of this fact. Although this notion worries me sometimes, the consolation I have here is that uncertainties enable me to know myself better and see my capacity to do things. Life maybe unpredictable but the best part of this reality is that humans are not destined to live a static state of being. I may not know what’s gonna happen to me but I know that given the circumstances I was in, someone up there made me endure all of those series of events.

Events in my life may not be the ideal situations that I’ve ever thought but I know that these are essential elements in appreciating our experiences in struggling to rise on such occasions. With all of these, I will just  feel excited for the future that lies ahead of me and go on with the life that I have knowing that things will turn out right anyway.

Most of my friends are unanimous about a certain decision they want me to pursue. It is honestly a difficult move to decide on as I have to take into consideration the complexity of the situation. In my friends’ point of view (those who are in support of it), they think that as long as my intentions are pure, then I have to go for it. They want me to let go of my inhibitions and exhibit confidence and courage on this. The encouragement they gave were all enticing. But after talking to another friend of mine and described to him the situation (hers, actually), he asked me to think things over before acting on something. He told me that I have to assess how the person is now as I might just aggravate the complicated situation. I appreciate my friends for all their concerns to me and wanting to see me experience the happiness I deserve. What I learned upon hearing the minority view is my capacity to weigh things and see a bigger picture that is not solely confined to my perspective. That my decisions should be driven where my emotions and rationality are balanced. Believe me, I am not being complacent about this contrary to how some of my friends see it but I don’t want to do something that I haven’t fully decided on. More importantly, I believe that our actions should be motivated by our full convictions where at the same time, the current situation does not run contrary to our principles. I also know that His perfect time will come and that the best laid plan will be revealed to me…and that will be the time that I’m convinced that I have to act already. I can patiently… and yes, graciously wait, if this is in accordance with His plan.

Sometimes there are risks that are worth taking and this fact is making me contemplate more on what course of action to take.

I don’t know if it’s appropriate for me to post this here. But currently, I’m having mixed emotions. Knowing that there’s already someone that I look forward to seeing since this started… but part of me casts doubts if this is worth pursuing or not…if this is the right time or not… if I am the right person for her or not… but what I don’t doubt is that I feel genuinely for the right person. Believe me, this is not easy looking how complicated the situation is for me. Considering that I did not intend to notice that person when I knew her and this is bothering me so much that I’m writing it down at this very moment and I’m tired the whole day. Never did I imagine that this will happen candidly. I never even thought that this time, I’m now contemplating of a firm plan in response to the obviously potential threat. I could not really imagine why this is happening and people who know me well know that I rarely talk about issues like this. There may be risks involved but I’m leaving it all up to Him that I make a bold resolve. I ought to pray harder for answers and courage. Whatever it is that He tells me, my next actions will just speak about it… He won’t make me feel this if it ain’t part of His plan. Whatever it is that will happen, it’s all part of His best laid plan for me. This seems weird but oh yes, I’m OK.

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness. Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connected to your soul. You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable. Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings.You have great vision and can be very insightful. In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself. Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend. You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer. Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Pls play the video before reading, the lyrics match this entry

[ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YT7WyR41rcw]

The other day, I chanced upon the journal I kept when I was in college. As you may have read my previous posts, that was a very challenging yet very colorful part of my life. What made it challenging is that it was the time of my life when untoward and unexpexcted changes have happened to my family. What made it colorful is that I’ve experienced a lot of things for the first time during that period.

I don’t see the necessity of narrating here the entirety of its content as these are highly sensitive matters (you may talk to me about it though). But just to give you an idea, it was a journal where I wrote all my fears, frustrations, good memories, and oh, most of the things that I hoped for. As I looked back and went through the old journal, I realized that I’ve already conquered some of those fears and that those difficult times were needed for me to be stronger and know Him better, that I abandoned those frustrations, that there are a lot of what I hoped for that are actually happening now…and that made me smile at those good memories. I also noticed that in my entries where I mentioned some unlikely events, I normally ended up saying things like, “I know that God will help me with all of these someday”, “I know we have a God who protects me”, and things like, “the Lord will never abandon me…”. In my upper household last Thursday, my household head made us pick bible passages where a certain theme was indicated. What I picked came from the book of Job (a book I’m trying to finish now)and the theme of the passage was, “trust in God”. Aside from this, I narrated these experiences to PA & Ryan (the story isn’t new to JB while TA had a bit of idea) the other day when we had a quasi-sleep over.

Looking back and looking at where I am now, I can say that my life is a testimony of trusting in God.

My Lenten post will mainly focus on the very controversial Gnostic gospels. These documents were books that were rejected by the early Christian scholars due to their heretic content and inconsistency with the Christian dogma. There are a lot of Gnostic gospels that sprung and received intense notoriety among experts even until this era that in turn, solicited the curiosity of many. And oh, pardon me for the lengthy post but I encourage you to be patient in reading my humble ideas.

The discussion on the Gnostic gospels was revived due to the recent discovery of the gospel of Judas, a book written many years after the disciple-traitor committed suicide. What seems to be paradoxical is that the release of the gospel came during the Holy Week, a season that’s very important to the Christian world. The gospel of Judas gives Christ’s betrayer a different identity — that he was the one closest to Jesus and the most favored among the apostles. That his betrayal of Christ was a mere act of obedience to his Master and that the latter asked Judas to do so, so that He can do the will of the Father. The gospel also illustrated that Judas knew beforehand that the consequence of such obedience will make him despised by many for generations but that the Master has a special place for him due to this kind of “martyrdom”. Other controversial Gnostic gospels include the Gospel of Mary Magdalene, the Gospel of Thomas, the Gospel of Philip, and many others.

I’m not claiming to be a pundit in scriptures or Church History but instead, I’ll view this by taking the perception of an average reasonable educated person. By this I mean, that in order for me to find out whether these documents possess such preponderance or not, the way to objectively view it is by looking at the Gnostic gospels’ characteristics to assess the rationale behind the rejection of the said manuscripts.

Please take note that I don’t want to argue against the authenticity of these documents (in fact, I agree that these documents were not forged as evidence of the historians’ findings) but what matters more is the impact of the content of these documents to Christianity and the potential good it can offer to the faithful. Are there any? Let’s carefully examine them…

Three factors must be taken into consideration to know whether there really is a logical explanation to the exclusion of these Gnostic gospels:

(a) consistency with the other gospels and with Christian dogma
(b) values that the scriptures would like to inculcate into the readers
(c) the intention behind the writing of the scriptures

Consistency with the other gospels and with Christian dogma
As we all know, the Bible is used as the Christians’ guide as they practice their faith and all the books in the Bible are mostly, interrelated. Take for example that most Old Testament scriptures have spoken on the prophesy of the coming of the Son of Man and the New Testament scriptures on the other hand, have all made mention of the idea that Christ is the fulfillment of the traditional scriptures and the constant claims for His divinity.

Look, the gospels in the Bible have told the same story on how Judas betrayed Jesus. The gospel of Thomas spoke about the child Jesus turning his playmates into a different being but the mainstream gospels, all talked about Jesus using His powers to heal the sick and perform other miracles for the common good. The current gospels consistently told the nativity story presenting the divine conception of Jesus while the gospel of Mary questions such a concept. On the other hand, you have the gospel of Philip presenting Jesus only as a human being and negating the concept of him being a God.

The innate consistency of the 4 gospels is not coincidental. Why? It’s because each has different authors and not written at the same period. It is indeed a mystery that albeit the different backgrounds on how these gospels were written, each manifests the same claims and has a common stand on vital dogmas concerning the Christian faith. If this is so, then such consistency just claims an unprecedented truth regarding the story of Judas’ betrayal, the purpose that Christ’s powers served, the nativity story, and Christ’s divine identity. Imagine, what could be the consequence of including these Gnostic gospels into the Bible along with the current four? Such will result in massive disbelief of individuals in Christianity and will greatly weaken one of the main foundations of the faith arising from its content that is inconsistent with the other scriptures and not being in total agreement with the true practice of Christianity.

Values that the scriptures would like to inculcate into the readers
This element is primarily correlated to and at the same time, a bypoduct of the one mentioned above. The Bible only exalts the Almighty and honors those who have humbled themselves for God’s pursuits. The Gnostic gospels, particularly the gospels of Judas and Mary Magdalene, on the other hand, both are claiming favored status on the part of the persons by which the said gospels were named after. The gospel of Judas portrays Judas as the closest disciple to Jesus and that he told Judas that the other disciples are worshipping a lesser god. This is not what Jesus preached because from the start of his messianic career, He has claimed that everyone must submit to the same God whom He worships. More importantly that Christ preached the existence of only one God. Secondly, as illustrated in the Bible, that although Christ has treated the disciples uniquely, He did not give a most-favored status to any apostle. In fact, he regarded all of the apostles as friends and with high due consideration to their distinct personalities. Looking at the gospel of Mary, this one showed that Mary Magdalene is the one closest to Christ than all of the apostles. Again, like my stand on the viewpoint taken by the author of the gospel of Judas, this also negates the value of humility that all scriptures in the Bible are preaching. Did the 4 gospels each claimed the superiority of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John? The last time I checked, it did not. Thirdly, never did any of the Christian teachings did betrayal was condoned as this is against the values propagated in any scriptures. The scriptures still, have to show the importance of important Christian values and since the Gnostic gospels lack such, I am convinced that its exclusion was justified.

The intention behind the writing of the scriptures
What is the use then of having two scriptures in the Bible wherein its authors have both claimed that either Judas or Mary Magdalene is the one closest to Jesus? Who’s who? This just gives confusion to Christians. In fairness to Judas, I can see very well how remorseful he was after betraying Christ but I don’t condone the act of committing suicide. And also, I see Mary Magdalene as a very significant Bible character who is a great example of sincere repentance. What I find extremely repugnant about these gospels is that they were not presented under the intention of giving a better understanding on the divinity of Christ.

An article I read regarding this has effectively debunked the intention of Gnostic writing:

You see, Gnosticism was a parasite theology. It latched onto whatever religion was available and rewrote the host’s scriptures and doctrines to fit its own unique beliefs. Often, the villains of the original religion were turned into the heroes of the Gnostic variation (and so we often see Cain lionized in Gnostic texts). Furthermore, Christianity was not its only victim… there were also Gnostic forms of Judaism and paganism as well.

Given this, the historical validity written in the Gnostic texts are extremely and constantly under question that’s why it doesn’t play a great significance to Christianity.

The plead for public acceptance of these gospels is nothing but baloney as its manner of presenting its content does not in any way, have the capacity to make Christians better believers of the faith. With all its inconsistencies and misleading assertions, I then believe that Ireneus (the bishop who rejected the inclusion of the Gnostic gospels) was a reliable anointed person in terms of which scripture Christians should be reading.

I am not convinced by these Gnostic gospels as the current content of the Bible supplements my faith very well…

I wanna get some rest… Pamper myself… Know that there will be more people around to help me on these… My invincibility is just a mere facade… In dire need to breathe more… Have people around to hear me rant… Currently feeling physically weak and exhausted… So many questions bugging me… Wandering thoughts… Wanting to eradicate irritating people… Just want to see my significance on some aspects I handle… Contemplating on what lies ahead… Don’t know why these have to happen all at the same time… Lost… Thinking of a temporary escape that won’t hurt… Yeah whatever…Hoping for a very relaxing massage… Wanna know how it feels to depend on others again… Wanting to run along a vast football field and jump as high as I could near the goal post…Wanna scream on a hilltop… Thinking of reading a good book while sitting on a beach chair in front of the seashore… Desiring to stop people from asking questions from me everyday… Freakin tired…’Til when? Argh!

Give me a break!

…pardon me, just have to do this….

Here’s something I got from Ate Jeng’s blog… I tried it for myself too and most of its content speak much about me (although I don’t personally believe in these kinds of stuff)…

My Birthday

You entered: 11/5/1981

Your date of conception was on or about 12 February 1981 which was a Thursday. (and my suspicion served me right, I’m a Valentine’s day baby, my parents just celebrated it in advance, hehe)
You were born on a Thursday
under the astrological sign Scorpio.
Your Life path number is 8.

Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 4, 8, 11 & 22.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path number 6.
You may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 1 & 5.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 3, 7 & 9.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2444913.5.
The golden number for 1981 is 6.
The epact number for 1981 is 24.
The year 1981 was not a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/5/1981 and ending 1/24/1982.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Rooster.

As of 4/2/2006 6:55:14 AM EDT
You are 24 years old.
You are 293 months old.
You are 1,274 weeks old.
You are 8,914 days old.
You are 213,942 hours old.
You are 12,836,575 minutes old.
You are 770,194,514 seconds old.

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 3.48884540117417 years old. (Life’s just a big chewy bone for you!)

Your birthstone is Citrine

The Mystical properties of Citrine

Citrine is said to help one connect with Spirit.
Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)

Yellow Topaz, Pearl, Diamond

Your birth tree is

Walnut Tree, the Passion (this kinda freaked me out coz this is really true)
Unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egoistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromises. (I can say that this really speaks about me)

The moon’s phase on the day you were
born was waxing gibbous.

What’s in my name? .Click here to know similar details about your name

Name: John Mark Junio
There are 13 letters in your name.
Those 13 letters total to 60
There are 5 vowels and 8 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 6

The characteristics of #6 are: Responsibility, protection, nurturing, community, balance, sympathy.

The expression or destiny for #6:
The number 6 Expression provides you a truly outstanding sense of responsibility, love, and balance. The 6 is helpful and ever conscientious, making you quite capable of rectifying and balancing any sort of inharmonious situation. You are a person very much inclined to give help and comfort to those in need. You have a natural penchant for working with the old, the young, the sick, or the underprivileged. Although you may have considerable creative and artistic talents, the chances are that you will devote yourself to an occupation that shows concern for the betterment of the community.

The positive side of the number 6 suggests that you are very loving, friendly, and appreciative of others. You have a depth of understanding that produces much sympathetic, kindness, and generosity. The qualities of the 6 make the finest and most concerned parent and one often deeply involved in domestic activities. Openness and honesty is apparent in your approach to all relationships.

If there is an excess of the number 6 in your makeup, you may exhibit some of the negative traits associated with this number. There may be a tendency for you to be too exacting and demanding of yourself. In this regard, you may at times sacrifice yourself (or your loved ones) for the welfare of others. In some cases, the over zealous 6 has difficulty distinguishing helping from interfering. You may have difficulty expressing your own individuality, because of involvement with responsibilities and causes. Like all with the Expression of the number 6, it’s quite likely that you worry much too much.

Your Soul Urge number is: 7

A Soul Urge number of 7 means:
With a number 7 Soul Urge you are very fond of reading, and retreating to periods of being alone and away from the disruptions of the outer world. You like to dream and develop you idealistic understandings, to study and analyze, to gain knowledge and wisdom. You may be too laid back and withdrawn to really succeed in the business world, and you will be much more comfortable in circumstances that are tolerant of your reserve, your analytical approach, and your desire to use your mind rather than your physical being.

You are very timid around people that you don’t know very well, so much so at times that casual conversation and social situations can be strained. You tend to repress your emotions to the extend that some people have a good bit of difficult understanding you. You tend to be very selective with friends and you don’t easily adapt to new environments or to new people very quickly. —> Again, this is true!

The negative traits of the 7 include becoming too much the introvert and isolated from others.

Your Inner Dream number is: 8

An Inner Dream number of 8 means:
You dream of success in the business or political world, of power and control of large material endeavors. You crave authority and recognition of executive skills. Your secret self may have very strong desire to become an entrepreneur>

Here’s the Bible passage I love the most. It’s all encompassing, talks about proper behavior, humility, patience, and trust in the Lord. It’s taken from the book of Sirach, one of the Wisdom books.

Sirach 2:

My son, when you come to serve the LORD, prepare yourself for trials.
Be sincere of heart and steadfast, undisturbed in time of adversity
Cling to him, forsake him not; thus will your future be great.
Accept whatever befalls you, in crushing misfortune be patient;
For in fire gold is tested, and worthy men in the crucible of humiliation.
Trust God and he will help you; make straight your ways and hope in him.
You who fear the LORD, wait for his mercy, turn not away lest you fall.
You who fear the LORD, trust him, and your reward will not be lost.
You who fear the LORD, hope for good things, for lasting joy and mercy.
Study the generations long past and understand; has anyone hoped in the LORD and been disappointed? Has anyone persevered in his fear and been forsaken? has anyone called upon him and been rebuffed?
Compassionate and merciful is the LORD; he forgives sins, he saves in time of trouble.
Woe to craven hearts and drooping hands, to the sinner who treads a double path!
Woe to the faint of heart who trust not, who therefore will have no shelter!
Woe to you who have lost hope! what will you do at the visitation of the LORD?
Those who fear the LORD disobey not his words; those who love him keep his ways.
Those who fear the LORD seek to please him, those who love him are filled with his law.
Those who fear the LORD prepare their hearts and humble themselves before him.
Let us fall into the hands of the LORD and not into the hands of men, For equal to his majesty is the mercy that he shows.

All of us look up to different people. They may be popular individuals who have done so much contribution to the society or someone who has direct interaction with us either at home, at work, or any other group in the pursuit of influencing our formation of value systems and proper way of approaching matters. We call these people mentors – they who have wisdom to be our trusted guides and advisors.

On this premise, I just feel that mentors have great responsibilities over their apprentices. Thus, mentors should not just expect their apprentices to follow…they must foster and understand servantship more than just simply letting people do something. I have mentors who have proven themselves but there are a few who are abandoning the principles they have once made me imbibe. That is deeply disappointing. TA gave me a good idea on how this should be treated: continue embracing the idea but abandon the person (since they lost their moral ascendancy over their apprentices in the first place). Radical as it may seem, but it’s the most objective way of looking at it.

For some strange reasons, I am a mentor to some and at the same time, an apprentice of so many people. And living in these two identities at the same time, I just got ideas on the basic expectations of apprentices on their mentors. But pls, I don’t say that I’m a perfect mentor myself but I guess these can be reminders we must tell ourselves being mentors to some. Let me share some of these:

*Don’t lead for the sake of prestige.
*Earn your mentorship.
*Always explain why something should be done.
*Be subtle in treating affirmations from your apprentices – they might be invisible ammunitions.
*It’s normal to have favorites BUT it must be limited to appreciation of the individual. NEVER show favoritism as you might be unaware you’re already enslaved.
*Never justify your inconsistencies.
*Be faithful to the practices and values that you advocate for. This is how you maintain your moral ascendancy. If a paradigm shift may seem necessary, show how choices were weighed.
*A simple form of encouragement or a few words of appreciation for a job well done won’t hurt. Keep it simple. Yet, don’t forget that simple as it may seem, they may matter a lot and will make your apprentice go the extra mile.
*Maintain your composure and objectivity in giving criticisms.

Since childhood, I was convinced that there are only 3 men who will be my best mentors in my entire lifetime: Papa and my two grandfathers (Lolo and Tatay). These men have unquestionable strength and integrity of character. Aside from these uncanny traits, they served their families with so much affection, not to mention how faithful they are to the Lord above. Let these statements serve as my humble way of honoring them. Papa, Lolo, and Tatay, I just can’t find any reason for me to stop looking up to the 3 of you.

Just like what my friend, Teki mentioned, things have to be interpreted on your own terms. The idea of being alone is not an exemption as it may have different meanings and contexts. Although one’s initial perception of this concept would be “not being with somebody for a certain moment”, certain terms must be used to be able to know the exact thought that one wants to convey. For example, independence is different from exclusiveness as the latter implies undividedness while the former pertains to liberation or not being reliant of others.

Others might view it as an opportunity to do whatever they wish to – a usual undertaking being done by people who are so obsessed with independence. For they take advantage of this situation by doing things that will make them “enjoy life” – an act that is associated to extreme stupidity.

As I grow up, I never thought that I’ll gradually realize that there are things that I can do that made me less dependent of others. But apparently, other circumstances have influenced my being in this situation and sometimes, made me feel empty.

I sometimes feel that there are 2 factors that make me in a solitary state right now. One would be the fact that my young siblings are away from us while there’s school and my mom not staying home (although we have reconciled with her, she’s not yet staying with us but I know that one day, she’ll be back). To add up to this, Ate Jhett (my eldest sister) just got married and thus, having only Ate Jeng and I at home and I’m always looking forward to the kids’ vacation from school. Another reason would be the fact that it’s been years since I was in a relationship…darn, as much as I don’t want to admit it, but I guess it’s still different when you’re intimate with someone. I believe it’s normal for a man at this age to feel like this and that playing around isn’t in my vocabulary anymore…there’s a level of depth and a bit of humor that we ought to look for in a person more than just receiving companionship. For if I’m satisfied in both, then the companionship would be worthwhile. But of course, I still enjoy the sight of pretty women I get to see around and hang out with…and those are just the times when I forget about depth! Hehehe!

I never knew that independence might result in occasional feelings of solitude. Solitary moments when you think of your burdens and can’t resist comparing your life with that of others and thinking about a hassle-free life when you were younger. But I have accepted that things have to happen like that and despite this, I still have the capacity to battle such feelings that occasionally haunt me.

Anwyay, I hope no one would get me wrong. I might feel lonely sometimes but it doesn’t mean I’m having self-pity. Hey, I’m happy with my life, the people around me, and I’m blessed in so many ways. I just felt that sometimes, I have to acknowledge moments and emotions like these as they remind me that I can’t solely rely on myself to satisfy my other needs.

Sometimes, it is in solitude that I become the person that I am not and entertain thoughts that make me pessimistic about my perception of life. Oh well, I’m just thankful that whatever happens, a lot of people have been so supportive of me.

I’m just fortunate enough that I have never been imprisoned by this thought that I abhor…

Damn! After all these years, now I knew what blogs are for. Hoping that you enjoy this blog but I just wanna make it clear, that I don’t even care if you find some of these disinteresting (hehehe).

Have a good one!