How can we thank God enough for you…?
1 Thessalonians 3:9

Paul, the writer of the letter to the Thessalonians, is addressing people he loves. Even though he has never met these people face to face, he and they share a common faith, so he finds it easy to be profoundly thankful.

But what if you don’t have much in common with the people you work with every day? What if you are a teacher and your students seem to go out of their way to be rude, rowdy and rebellious?

Today was a difficult day for me to be thankful for the kids I have in my classes.

As I was taking attendance, F-Boy and T-Boy jumped out of their seats and began racing around the classroom, ignoring my command to stop. When T-Boy crashed into the wall moments later, grimacing in pain, the “fun” stopped abruptly. (Later in the day, a very contrite F-Boy came back to my room and apologized to me, promising never to cause such a disturbance again.)

C-Girl and J-Boy got into an argument after J-Boy called C-Girl a certain farm animal. C-Girl, outraged by J-Boy’s name-calling, dismissed him with an icy “F**k you!”

Despite their learning contract with me, which includes coming to class with their tools (pencils, paper, books) prepared to learn, at least three students begged to borrow pencils from me.

How can I thank God for the nonsense that interrupts precious instructional time? The truth is, I can’t—and I shouldn’t.

But what would happen if I looked beyond the veneer of nonsense that many of my students present to me, and see the precious human beings beneath? What would happen if I started practicing thankfulness, even if I don’t feel particularly thankful?

How can I thank God enough for you, F-Boy, and for your apology after you disrupted my class?

How can I thank God enough for you, T-Boy, and for your invitation for me to come watch you play basketball?

Advent is not only the season of waiting, but also the season of change. I may not be able to change my students, but I can change the way I think about them by thanking God for them every day.

carla:

“defiance is a wonderful thing. even when the pain is terrible, so much pride can be gained from admitting to yourself that you are right.”

Part 7 of my sneak peek into Dr. Michele Borba’s world!  Actually into her BIG BOOK of Parenting Solutions, we will explore a characteristic in teens and children I hear from parents a lot – DEFIANCE!

Labels, labels and more labels.  Today we will talk about a common label “ODD” also known as Oppositional Defiant Disorder.

Red Flags

Constantly resists your simplest requests, questions authority, pushes every limit; is blatantly disrespectful, noncompliant.

Turn to pages 76-85 and be prepared to learn all you ever wanted to know about defiant behavior.  This includes signs and symptoms, how to change and why to change, and most important early intervention as well as detailed steps to help you be an educated parent.  Michele Borba offers great advice and resources to help you help your child.

Could Your Child Have Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)?

Although all children will display a defiant streak and try pushing the limits every now and then, when such behaviors persist for at least every day for six months and are intense, they may be signs of a condition called Oppositional Defiant Disorder.  The American Psychiatric Association estimates that about 16 percent of American kids have this condition.  These kids relentlessly push the boundaries set for them by authority figures, and consistently use bad language, talk back, and refuse to comply.  If you have concerns about your child, seek the advice of a trained mental health evaluator.  If your child repeatedly displays any of these behaviors and you feel your parenting is not effective, see help ASAP.

• Is physically aggressive with people and animals
• Destroys property
• Has problems with the law or flagrantly violates rules
• Runs away
• Starts fires

Next sneak peek: Sibling Rivalry! (you don’t want to miss this one!)

Previous sneak peeks: (1) Gratitude Recipes: Big Book of Parenting Solutions, (2) Parenting 101: Ungrateful teens and children (3) Seven Deadly Parenting Styles, (4) Sex Talk with your Children, (5) Gifted children, (6) Money and your kids, (7) Oppositional Defiant Disorder, (8) Sibling Rivalry, (9) Overweight teens and children

For those that don’t have time to read, this is the perfect book for you since it is not the type of book you sit down to read. As parenting questions come up, you can go straight to the index and find the page number. Immediately you will see the pages divided by boxes, quick tips and advice and easy to read and understand resources. Did I mention she also gives you proven research and statistics?

Order The BIG BOOK of Parenting Solutions today! Whether it is for yourself or as a gift, you won’t be disappointed.

Click here for more articles on parenting. Don’t forget to subscribe to my latest articles, and you won’t miss the sneak peeks inside this valuable book as well as other great tips, resources and stories.

Reminder: Holiday Safety Tips.

Also on Examiner.com

Someone recently told me  that I reminded them of “the stork and the frog” cartoon. I just stared at them blankly having zero idea to what they were referring. They explained it to me and, of course, I nearly burned out my keyboard looking up the reference. But you know what? I think they were right. 

Most of the time, of course, I’m the princess-by-day-always-minding-my-manners-girlie-girl kinda girl, but when it’s required, I can scrap with the best of them. That’s not to say that sometimes I don’t want to give up, because I do. On occasion (many, in fact), the thought of being a pool girl in Antigua doesn’t sound too shabby at all. Then I come hurtling back into reality and think ”oh, uh uh. Never — but never – give up, girlfriend”.

And just like the frog in the cartoon, I never, ever will¹.

¹ As evidenced by this  blog post that is *totally* phoned in. I am about to pass out from having to work all day, play all night, and write NaBloPoMo posts, too. I want to quit so badly, but I just will. not. do. it! The bright side? Only ten. more. days.

For the past two weeks I haven’t been standing up for the pledge of allegiance every morning. I made the decision for several reasons:

1. There is certainly not ‘liberty and justice for all’ in this country. Just look at gay rights. I can’t believe we even still have to protest equal rights in the 21st century. It’s absolutely beyond me.

2. The whole ‘Under God’ thing…I don’t like them forcing that on me at all. That sort of stuff shouldn’t be in the classroom of a public school. It’s on the edge of prayer.

3. Kids don’t actually stand for the pledge because they believe in it. They do it because it’s what they’ve been told to do since age 5. It reminds me of Nazi Germany, the way children had to pledge to Hitler every morning. Everyone’s just robots…and I do not want to be a robot to America, to any country, or to anything, for that matter.

Of course, people take unkindly to what they see as unpatriotic, especially when it’s a kid whose supposedly breaking the rules. I’m sure there’s several adults who look at me and think I’m just some stupid kid trying to get attention by acting out…but it’s so far from the truth. The truth is I have strong beliefs and I want to do what I feel is right, whether it is accepted by society or not. Just because everyone does something doesn’t make it right, and vice versa.

My teacher didn’t even notice for three days. On the third day he came up to me and asked “What was that…A protest against America?” and I said yes. He was a bit shocked and taken aback and said “Oh..tell me more later.” This morning before class ended he came up to me again and asked me why I’m not standing. I gave my reasons and he agreed with me on them and told me it’s the “boldest act of defiance” he’s ever seen.

But then he went on to ask “Is this legal?” and proceeded to tell me he’s worried about what’s going to happen to HIM if he doesn’t order me to stand. He doesn’t want to make me do anything, but he also wants to save his ass and not get in trouble by higher authority if another teacher happens to see what’s going on. This angered me that he’s so scared. I lost a lot of respect for him after he said that. And no, I won’t stand up to save him from getting in trouble. I’m not going to compromise my beliefs for anyone, even if he is my favorite teacher.

Most of the people in my class don’t even notice that I don’t stand…shows you just how robotic they really are. It really upsets me. I want to just yell at them all to WAKE UP and start thinking for yourselves for once!

It gets me really upset knowing how scared people are of their reputations, and how quick they are to submit to the ‘norm’, regardless if they even agree with it or not. People are so willing to just keep their heads down and keep quiet about everything…and this is why nothing ever changes.

If people demanded peace instead of another television set, then there’d be peace.

Well, today seemed to be interesting. I mean, it proved to be interesting at least. I had to turn in my rough draft for my research paper for English. It’s  on the use of Neuromuscular Electrical Stimulation for the treatment of dysphagia in speech pathology patients. Yeah, real interesting, right? Well, I didn’t think so either, but it had to be “involved” with our major (Communication Disorders) and be a “major topic”, trust me, that’s all I could find. Anyway, after that, I also had my 3rd test for Elementary Statistics, which I didn’t get to finish studying for. So, considering i’m not so hot in the math department, I’m pretty sure I’m gonna have another “retake” on my hands. [face palm].

My dad picked me up at 7p and we somehow got to talking about my needing a new job closer to home. I, for some reason, hate it when he used those words. “Closer to home”?! What does that even mean?! I told him, rather frustrated with the thought, that I’m not going to be living with them forever and that I’d rather be closer to school, if anything. He went on to say that he works in sales and he knows what its like wanting to get away from people. That thats why he likes living all the way over here in the outskirts where we live, so he could get away from everyone. The problem with his logic is thinking that it applies to me.

Sure, I dislike certain people. I want to get away. But, be it a stage in life or simply a concept that I’m trying to get rid of… it’s them I want to get away from the most.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my family. I love their quirks and their ridiculousness. But I also hate it. I hate feeling trapped, as if I have nowhere else to go. I hate that it feels like they hold me down. Always try to keep me in the valley, where I have family, “close to home”. It all bothers me.

My sister and her husband, who happen to live across the street from school, offered me their extra room in their apartment. They offered it to me since I found out I couldn’t afford to go back to Austin. This time, they’re for real about it and want to legitimately lay it out for my parents, who seem to think that I’m forcing myself into their house. See, my parents, everytime I even bring up spending the night to help out with Melina (my niece), seem to think that I’m bombarding them and getting in the way. All i’m doing is helping. That’s why they want me to live with them, even if just for the 3 months of the semester. They haven’t talked to my dad about it, and I know he’s going to say no. That i’m in the way. That it’s ungrateful and unnecessary. But honestly, it’s perfect.

I think I’m going to suffocate in this house.

There’s too much pressure to conform to their wishes. My sister got out by getting married. I got out by going to Austin. Then I got sucked back in, and even if I am only 30 minutes away from them, I feel like it will be 600 miles. It will liven up the load and the hold they have on me. I’ll probably even learn to love them again, the way I did before any of this began.

I’m just not who they want me to be.

I wanted to be in Karate, but my dad said it wasn’t for girls. I wanted to be in gymnastics, but my dad said that they’re sluts. I wanted to go to the Air Force, but my dad said that I wouldn’t be able to handle it and that it’s also not for girls. It wasn’t until I got into cheerleading (because my dad didn’t like it) and that I went away to Austin (because it’s for school and they couldn’t stop me) that I got any kind of freedom.

I just want it back.

Full disclosure: Once again, I do this-reviewing- for love, not money. Sometimes, I get the book free (as was the case with Defiance). I have so far been lucky, in that I generally enjoyed the books that I have received.

I am a horrible liar and incapable of raving about a book that left me feeling ‘MEH’, thus if I didn’t enjoy the book, I’m undoubtedly sure you fine people would be able to tell.

Onto the review!

Defiance

Laura Anne Gilman, Joely Sue Burkhart, and Angela Korra’ti take us back to the days of the Civil War with ministering angels, magical creatures, and death. Each of the women in these stories refuses to take on the role she’s been assigned by birth, race, or circumstance. Each woman demonstrates life changing defiance.

Drollerie Press’s anthologies have thus far been top notch. I’m always awed by the turn out by their authors both new and old, and the rich spins with which the take the general idea of it. Of course, there are undoubtedly some stories you won’t take to simply because -for whatever reason-it’s not not your cup of tea.  It happens, it’s the nature of Anthologies.

I didn’t have that problem with Defiance. Shocking, you’d think? Except, as you can see by the cover art, there are only three authors listed which means, yep, you guess it, three stories.

Three well crafted, engaging and heart warming tales about three women of different backgrounds, under different circumstances, with different gifts, but with one thing in common. They are all, essentially, renegades in their societies, and they do not back down.

Ok, so that’s two things. It’s been a long day people, bare with me.

I am fascinated by war, the military, and people put under extreme situations. Also, being a woman, I adore strong, gutsy heroines. (yep, biased. Not ashamed.) So this Anthology worked for me on numerous levels. Let’s have a look at them individually shall we?

Finder’s Keeper by Laura Anne Gilman

Davida Sandersen comes from a long line of gifted women. Gifted women who put their talents aside to be devoted wives, or were otherwise chained down by their society. Davida would rather die than suffer the same consequences. She moves from Boston to a nice secluded town where she finds her own sanctuary, even if she is sometimes called to duty by the people of the town for her Gift. Davida is a Finder, with just a few short descriptions, she can call forth impressions to find a lost item or person.  Except, its never come on its own, but when the impressions come in the form of dreams that won’t bloody well give her peace the Finder realizes it is she who has lost something. She sets out for adventure to recover it and comes back with much more than she bargained for.

I really loved the poetic style Gilman used for the “impression/dream” narrative. I also appreciated Davida’s practicality in the face of adversity. Without giving away spoilers, I wasn’t sure how I felt about the ending. But having thought about it more, I’ve decided that I liked it. Davida remains true to her character, a woman who knows what she wants out of life and refuses to compromise for it, even when it may have been easier to do so. And, on another note, (something I quite liked) Gilman left her readers with enough elbow room that, if you are so inclined, you might imagine other events occurring down the road, just beyond the story book margins.

The Blood of the Land by Angela Korra’Ti

This is set in the world of Angela’s previous book “Faerie Blood”. A book I read and enjoyed. I have to say though, I actually liked this story more. For a few reasons.

Dorcas is a slave on the run, with her lover Caleb, from her former master, Josiah McCreary a man who not only lusts after her but fears her for her Power. Called a “Witch” by the white men, Dorcas is gifted with the Power to heal. She does not know where the power comes from, but she has stopped trying to rationalize it.  Certainly not, however, from the white man’s Christian God whose words they twist to remove fault from their actions, while punishing the slaves for doing anything they consider blasphemous.

In their efforts to escape, they come across an injured white man, a Warder-unbeknowest to them- and his Power calls to Dorcas. When she heals him, he reveals himself to be a Slave sympathizer and takes an active part in helping their escape. It doesn’t take long for McCreary to catch on that she’s gone missing however, and the epic battle ensues. To earn her freedom with Caleb’s life in tact, Dorcas must rely on more than one white man, the Warder of a bloodied land, her own Power, and a Specter with an epic gripe.

I really really like Angela’s use of ethnic characters. And not just ‘ethnic’ characters but smart black female characters. Their not ghetto fabulous (or, in Bahamianese, “jungaless”). I’m also really happy she didn’t shy away from the slave angle, and that she made Dorcas and Caleb both strong, capable and intelligent individuals despite their tragic circumstances. I took a vast amount of glee in the final scene, the showdown for Dorcas and Caleb’s freedom, and really liked Elias Sutherland (the Warder) and his wife Jenny. Found myself oddly fascinated by the character of Harriman Tucker for reasons that I will leave you to sort for yourself. You’ll just have to buy the book!

Storms as She Walks by Joely Sue Burkhart

Thunderer, or more appropriately, Meli “Storms as She Walks”, is an Injun “squaw” in a white man’s world. Wary of government handouts and her people’s defeated mentality, Meli enlists in the US Army, hiding her curves in loose fitting wears, beading her hair, bandaging her breasts, and adopting a gruff tone to go with her guff persona “Thunderer”.

Meli’s got the courage of ten men, but if her regiment discovers her secret, her dream of earning a place for herself in the world will be for naught.

Luckily, some of the men aren’t as stupid or bigoted as she might have first guessed. Especially her partners in crime, Lying Abe and Big John. Having been abandoned by her shamed mother, Meli has never known kinship. But as any soldier can attest to, once you’ve eat, slept, toiled and bled with the best of ‘em, they become blood brothers for life. And then there’s Captain Steadman, fast becoming a complication in her already complicated life.

When Colonel Pamby, none-too-affectionately referred to as Namby Pamby, turns on Thunderer’s regiment and sets a trap for their fearless leader Captain Steadman, Thunderer must use her cunning to rally reinforcements and orchestrate a rescue mission. Captain Steadman has three rules, He’ll never ask you to do what he is not willing to do himself, never leave a man behind, and he’ll always keep his promises. Except, Thunderer’s not sure she’d just upholding her Captain’s rules so much as following her heart, and she’s disobeying the Colonel’s direct orders to do so.

Told ya she had guts.

Meli will have to fight tooth and nail to get her Captain back, bring justice to her wronged people, and to earn her happily ever after.

Um, another note about full disclosure. I have developed a (dare I presume) friendship with Joely after reading and reviewing her first novel The Rose of Shanhasson.While I understand that might make me appear biased in my gushing, I assure you my love for her work is genuine. She writes my particular brand of crack. I “get” and “dig” her work, connecting with it on a profound, emotional level. Storms As She Walks being no different.

Someone had to do it. You can’t produce an Anthology about strong defiant women in the time of the Civil War without at least one story involving a woman soldier. It would be blasphemous. Joely came through in spades, something I’ve come to expect in a Burkhart read.

This is the most Romance-oriented story out of the lot, but there is so much more too. Joely has a knack for building bonds between her characters, both romantic and platonic. What really brought this story home to me was the dynamic of Thunderer’s regiment. The military-style banter had me in stitches and the battle scenes were beautifully executed.  The romance was a bit tame-for a Burkhart read, which usually scorches off the page- but not in an unsatisfying way. Sweet and fulfilling, it fit perfectly within the confines of its tale.

And I know we were supposed to dig the Captain (and I totally did), but  I must say, I developed quite a soft spot for Lying Abe. Big John ranked pretty high up there too, coming third only to Meli, our gutsy heroine.

Hands down my favorite Anthology from Drollerie Press thus far. Probably the best Anthology I’ve read. Ever.

Since I love being implementary in helping fellow readers get hooked on the “good stuff,” I do hope I’ve persuaded you to go and pick yourself up a copy.

“Now, there’s the God they taught me about at school. And there is the God that’s hidden by what surrounds us in this civilization. That’s the God I met.”
Joseph Kittinger.
First Man in Space – Skydiving From The Edge Of The World

Is there anybody in there?

“After 20 years, you analyze a lot. You remember people, heroism. “The Miracle of the Andes”, that’s what they called it. Many people come up to me and say that had they been there, they surely would have died. But it makes no sense, because until you’re in a… situation like that… you… you have no idea… how you’d behave. To be affronted by solitude without decadence or a… single material thing to prostitute it elevates you to a sprititual plane, where I felt the presence of God. Now, there’s the God they taught me about at school. And there is the God that’s hidden by what surrounds us in this civilization. That’s the God I met.
Joseph Kittinger.
First Man in Space – Skydiving From The Edge Of The World

Lyrics to In A State : By Unkle

My mind is in a state
‘Cause all i seem to do is tempt my fate
Well i try every space
But all the while we’re crushing at the gate
This time, this time
Reality struck me between the eyes
My mind is in a state
‘Cause everything i miss it comes too late
So i try and disappear
But there is only one way out of here
This time, this time
Reality struck me between the eyes
My mind is in a state
But all i need to do is change my pace
And i know there’s fear to face
But happiness is firm in its embrace
This time

Tuvia Bielski während seiner Zeit bei der polnischen Armee 1927-29

Am 8. November rief die jüdische Organisation Chabad zu einer Vorführung des Films Defiance im Kino Arena in Zürich und einem anschliessendem Vortrag von Aaron Bielski, dem jüngsten Spross der Gebrüder Bielski. Obgleich der Anlass nur über jüdische Medien und nicht in der breiten Öffentlichkeit beworben worden war, blieb kein Platz im Saal unbesetzt. Augenscheinlich ist das Interesse an Helden gross. Die Bedrohung, der die Juden heute leider wieder ausgesetzt sind, machte schon der Einlass klar: Sicherheitsmänner kontrollierten alle Gäste rigoros.

Die Bielski Brüder

Die Geschichte der Gebrüder Bielski und ihrer Partisanengruppe wurde durch dem Film Defiance einem breiteren Publikum bekannt. Die Familie lebte in Stankewitsch, einem kleinen Dorf in Ostpolen. 1939 schlossen Deutschland und die Sowjetunion den Hitler-Stalin Pakt. Beide Länder wurden Verbündete und teilten Osteuropa unter sich auf. Ostpolen wurde damit sowjetisch. 1941 griff Deutschland die Sowjetunion an. Die drei ältesten Brüder, Tuvia, Asael und Zus Bielski, flohen in die Wälder, nachdem die Deutschen ihre Eltern und zwei ihrer jüngeren Geschwister ermordet hatten. Zunächst sammelten sie nur ihre Familienmitglieder um sich. Tuvia drängte jedoch darauf, auch anderen Verfolgten Zuflucht zu bieten, ohne Rücksicht auf Alter und Geschlecht. Die Gruppe befreite mehrere hundert Juden aus den umliegenden Ghettos. Doch die Gruppe konnte nicht lange an einem Ort verweilen und verlegte mehrmals ihr Lager: Deutsche Soldaten und örtliche Polizeikräfte, die mit den Deutschen kollaborierten, machten Jagd auf sich versteckende Juden. Um in dieser Situation zu überleben, schlossen sich die Bielskis sowjetischen Partisanengruppen an. Trotz Verfolgung, Kälte und Hunger retteten die Bielskis bis zur Befreiung 1200 Menschen vor dem sicheren Tod und bauten in den Wäldern eine funktionierende Infrastruktur einschliesslich Spital, einer Synagoge und einer Schule auf. Von den Geretteten waren drei Viertel Frauen, Kinder und Alte und ein Viertel kämpfende Partisanen,. Nach der Befreiung durch die Sowjetunion sahen sich die Bielskis den Drangsalien der sowjetischen Staatsicherheitsbehörde NKWD ausgesetzt. Asael Bielski wurde in die Rote Armee eingezogen und in der der Schlacht um Königsberg getötet. Tuvia, Zus und der jüngste Sohn, Aaron Bielski, wanderten ins damalige britische Mandat Palästina aus. Alle drei kämpften 1948 im Israelischen Unabhängigkeitskrieg in der Hagana, den jüdischen Streitkräften,  gegen die arabischen Invasionsarmeen. Später wanderten sie in die USA aus.

Daniel Craig als Tuvia Bielski in Defiance

Aaron Bielski stellt sich den Fragen des Publikums

Als Aaron Bielski (geb. 1930), der seinen Namen in den USA zu Bell umwandelte, nach der Filmvorführung auf die Bühne trat, brandete ihm tosender Applaus entgegen. Das anschliessende Gespräch moderierte Mitch Braff von der Jewish Partisan Education Foundation, dessen Anliegen es ist, die Geschichte der jüdischen Partisanen bekannt zu machen.  Ein Zuschauer wollte von Bielski wissen, ob er nach dem zweiten Weltkrieg wieder eine Familie gefunden habe. Bielski meinte lakonisch, die israelische Armee sei seine Familie gewesen. Wie er die Darstellung der Ereignisse im Film beurteilte, fragte jemand anderes. Bielski erwähnte den  Hunger und die Entbehrungen, deren konkretes Erleben die Leinwand nicht transportieren könne. Auch hätten sie nie, wie im Film gezeigt, gegen einen Panzer kämpfen müssen. Bielski erzählte, wie er sich lange dagegen gesträubt hatte, von seinen Erlebnissen zu berichten. Erst als er Mitte der 80er Jahre ins Dorf seiner Kindheit im heutigen Weissrussland zurückkehrte und dort zum ersten Mal über das Geschehene weinte, sei er bereit gewesen, darüber zu sprechen. Ob er denn jemals Alpträume gehabt hätte? Bielski verneinte. Wiederholt kam Bielski über die Bedeutung des Holocausts für die  heutigen Juden zu sprechen. Jeder lebende Jude, betonte er, sollte sich nicht bloss als Lebender fühlen, sondern in erster Linie als Überlebender. Gerade für die kleine jüdische Gemeinschaft der Schweiz, die nur dank grossem Glück den Holocaust überlebte, stimmt dies zweifellos. Mehrmals appellierte er an die jüdische Solidarität mit Israel, was ihm spontanen Applaus aus dem Publikum einbrachte.

Aaron Bielski, vordere Reihe Mitte

Faye Schulman – jüdische Partisanin und Fotografin

Anschliessend an den Vortrag bot sich noch Gelegenheit, eine Ausstellung zu besichtigen mit Fotografien von Faye Schulman, einer jüdischen Partisanin, die den Krieg unter unvorstellbar widerwärtigen Umständen mit ihrer Kamera festhielt. Faye Schulman überlebte nur dank ihrem fotografischen Talent den Holocaust: Am 14. August 1942 ermordeten die Deutschen 1850 Juden im Ghetto in Lenin,  darunter auch die Eltern und Geschwister von Faye.  Nur 26 Juden überlebten. Weil die Nazis Fayes fotografische Kenntnisse als nützlich betrachteten, wurde ihre Ermordung aufgeschoben. Ihr gelang die Flucht und sie schloss sich den Partisanen an. Faye Schulmans Fotografien waren zum ersten Mal in Europa zu sehen. Sie halten eindrücklickliche Momente fest: Auf einem Bild  ist Faye Schulman in einem Kahn auf einem Fluss inmitten eines Waldes zu sehen.  Ein Partisan rudert sie durch das Gewässer. Die Szene mutet idyllisch an. Nur durch den Begleittext erfahren wir, dass der Begleiter Schumans wenige Minuten später an Land auf eine Mine trat und verstarb. Die Ausstellung ist ein eindrückliches Dokument einer mutigen und starken Frau, deren Überlebenswille unbegrenzt scheint.

Faye Schulman (2. von links) mit jüdischen Partisanen

Weitere Informationen

http://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/HL0810/S00285.htm

http://www.jewishpartisans.org

http://www.jewishsantabarbara.org

http://www.novogrudek.co.uk

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1034303/

http://www.chabadswitzerland.com

Yes, I will follow, follow, follow

And my shadow will grow long

As the sun goes down beside me

And the trees bend right, wrong

Each brick smaller then the last

Each step slower, yet, as far

Until my shadow does not cast

And the sky pours thick as tar

Soon the breeze is stale, old

The road bending ever in

My blood thickens in the cold

The silence is a raucous din.

And I know that something’s waiting

It’s breath held, it dares not blink

Time is ruthless and abating

And I am on the brink.

And in the center of the spiral

Hides the beast in folds of night

He is a coward: contagious, viral

His every breath is endless plight

His heartbeat echoes against the dark

It feels and hears I am approaching

Now constant movement, shadow-shark

Mumbled sighs of self-encroaching

Its putrid breath wafts so close

Fear is the beast’s, so I stand firm

He laughs a cry, the sound morose

I feel its gangrenous skin squirm

My eyes adjust, I simply stare

An easy job, the night is done.

The beast crumbles then and there

I click my heels, so comes the sun.

Mes préoccupations actuelles m’amènent à dévorer des centaines de pages d’essais et de rapports divers consacrés à la conjoncture économique et aux politiques publiques, pas toujours passionnants, c’est le moins qu’on puisse dire. Il y a néanmoins des exceptions ; entre autres, l’essai intitulé La société de défiance – Comment le modèle social français s’autodétruit de Yann Algan et Pierre Cahuc. Texte qui fait souffler, disons, comme un vent de fraîcheur, quand la plupart de vos enseignants (pourtant pas les derniers venus) passent leur temps à répéter que le libéralisme ravageur et la perte du sens de l’État sont actuellement la principale menace qui pèse sur notre beau pays. Libéralisme ravageur et perte du sens de l’État avec 55 % du PIB de dépense publique, l’exécutif le plus dirigiste d’Europe (à vue de nez) la réglementation du travail la plus tatillonne, un déficit budgétaire insoutenable à moyen terme, et la couverture sociale la plus coûteuse au monde ou presque ? Une France entre l’Ouganda et la Roumanie au classement  de la fondation Heritage sur l’opportunité d’entreprendre ? Aidez-moi, je VEUX comprendre. Sans parler de la semaine de RER en grève que je viens de vivre – à partir de mercredi, presque plus rien dans les médias, mais je vous rassure, sur le terrain ça continuait ?). Pour le texte complet, c’est là, pour un extrait de l’introduction, c’est tout de suite :

Dans la seconde partie, nous soutenons que le déficit de confiance des Français est intimement lié au fonctionnement de leur État et de leur modèle social. Après la Seconde Guerre mondiale, le modèle social français s’est construit sur des bases corporatiste et étatiste. Le corporatisme, qui consiste à octroyer des droits sociaux associés au statut et à la profession de chacun, segmente la société et opacifie les relations sociales, ce qui favorise la recherche de rentes, entretient la suspicion mutuelle et mine les mécanismes de solidarité. L’étatisme, qui consiste à réglementer l’ensemble des domaines de la société civile dans leurs moindres détails, vide le dialogue social de son contenu, entrave la concurrence et favorise la corruption. Le mélange de corporatisme et d’étatisme est au coeur de la défiance actuelle et des dysfonctionnements du modèle social. La faiblesse du dialogue social et le manque de confiance envers le marché rendent nécessaire l’intervention de l’État. Mais selon une logique dirigiste et corporatiste bien établie, l’intervention de ce dernier consiste généralement à accorder des avantages particuliers aux groupes qui en font la demande, souvent au détriment du dialogue social, du respect des règles de la concurrence et de la transparence des mécanismes de solidarité. Ce type d’intervention ne peut qu’entretenir la défiance mutuelle et favoriser, en retour, l’expansion du corporatisme et de l’étatisme.

*Sorry this is so late, there’s been a lot going on. Tough moment in life; but, here it is. And I’ll even try to have the next chapter up over the weekend to make up for it. (The only promise I can make is Tuesday, though.)

On March 11, 2024, the men and women of the Collective State were turning on blank screened TVs at 7:30. 600,000,000 people, some in cold Siberian Cities, some in hot, Arabian military posts, some in farm collectives too hungry to notice the weather, all of whom – regardless of their time zone – were preparing to hear a tradition in their country. Listening to the broadcasts of the 7:30 Capitol Morning Show was their one connection with a broader world. 

As they switched on their televisions, their radios, huddled around makeshift transceivers, they were greeted with an unexpected voice and an unexpected sentence.

“Man is born free, yet he is everywhere in Chains.”

It is March 11, 2024, the 7:30 AM News Broadcast, and this … is James Matthew Capella XI. 

A rebel army in the Capitol City has seized control of the Collective State Media Building, and has – in essence – declared war upon the State. This video is being broadcast from the Eight Floor of the building, and nearly 600 million people are listening. 

I opened this rather unique broadcast with a quote from Jean Jacques Rousseau, a man who – while his flesh is long gone – has never died in spirit. In his Social Contract, he recognized the slavery of men, the submission of them to the state, the collective, the “General Will” – and attempted to justify them. Very well. This shall be the justification of our program – a program of individualism, human liberty, and independence. 

Some weeks ago I hung a banner above the doors of the Collective State Capitol National High School – a banner which declared that it was hung to Avenge the Death of Avery Boyd. My declaration that Avery Boyd was dead was a complete and unhidden contradiction to the position of the Collective State Government. The Government launched an investigation, and when they discovered it was me, began arresting and executing civilians in an effort to drag me out of hiding. 

Why would they go to such lengths? Why would they reveal the Civilian Terror Containment Squads, so well known to millions across the country, to a place where random massacres are unknown? Why hunt down, like an animal, a 16 year old whose only crime was speaking what he believed to be the truth?

In the final question, you find the answer; the truth. Your government has been lying to you. I will say it again, since it hasn’t been said in much too long – your government is lying to you. They seek to stay in power, but the only way they can is to lie, constantly, ceaselessly, producing a never-ending chain of contradictions and backhanded truths. They have had to blind you to your own nature, to what is right, to who is right, to what has happened and what hasn’t. They’ve nearly destroyed your ability to comprehend a fact on it’s own; and in your desperation, you run to the only group who tells you they understand. The State. 

But what they are telling you is not the truth; they are deliberately designed lies that keep the State in power. The evidence of this masquerade is all around you, yet in your blindness, you haven’t noticed it. I don’t know how effective this will be, but I’m going to point out the matrix of deceptive organizations in government and society. Maybe some of you who hear this will understand. 

Lets start with the building I’m now in; the Collective State Media Organization Capitol Complex. This organization, as I’m sure all of you can guess, is the only media outlet of the country. Every book, video, article, broadcast, or public expression is analyzed under its watchful gaze. This, of course, implies that you are incapable of discerning truth from fact. Instead, other people, who –somehow – can determine the difference, are appointed to determine right and wrong. Now, I won’t go into the contradictions this entails. I will merely point out that, after my banner was hung, they produced no evidence to the contrary. They made passionate and fiery speeches and hysterical declarations that he was alive. They began a brutal crackdown on the entire capitol. But they did not prove me wrong. Why? Because their goal is to destroy truth, not to uphold rightness. 

A few blocks away, there is the Collective State Currency Committee. In that building work several thousands of the top economic minds in the country, the best accounting minds who have escaped the hell of the business world. Their entire proffession is to make sure our material lives look amazing on paper, despite the starving masses in the streets. Every day the prices of our goods rise, and in a terribly poor effort to stop us from noticing, they give us more money. Perhaps it’s just that I’ve read economics, but I’ve always understood that the more money a society has, the less it’s worth. But, of course, it’s not their desire to make us better off. Slavery and oppression cannot achieve that. Destroying the greatest minds of our society by making sure they are under the boot of the “general will,” the “greater good”, or the “common man” cannot make us better off. No. Their goal is to make it so that we don’t understand what is happening; we see it in our starving children and neighbors, we feel it in our empty stomachs, we watch it as our soups become thinner and our bread tastes more and more like sawdust. But because we are not to know, not to understand, our government continues to enslave under the guise of mathematical models and GDP growth. 

Isn’t it ironic that only a few buildings down is the Collective State Military Industry Complex? In order to keep this black bag of deception over the eyes of us all, a mammoth Military force has been assembled to enforce conformity and destroy the practical side of human independence. While the Media, the Economic Dictators, and other agencies have destroyed your ability to be mentally independent, the Military is designed to keep you from being physically independent. The State recognizes that there can be no real breach between your mind and body without total social chaos; so they seek to enslave both. Nontheless, they still try to hide it, if only enough to keep you in fear. Take the “new” Civilian Terror Containment Squads, who have been executing random groups of citizens here in the Capitol since shortly after I was discovered. Many of my listeners in other cities will recognize the name. They have been under their boot. Here, in the Capitol City, this is a relatively new phenomenon. We have been unaware of it. To those who are hearing my in this city, or in cities where the CTCS hasn’t been deployed, listen very carefully. The CTCS – and I’m quoting a COBRA Officer – has been around for 22 years, secretly administering the State’s perverted form of justice, and squashing any rebellion in any city across the country. 

  The list of agencies and their functions could go on. There are beaurau’s for protection, which are responsible for terrorizing you into compliance. There are offices of science which are charged with the supression of industry. There hundreds of beauraucratic offices which keep you enslaved.

Of course, one of the greatest lies that they have perpetrated, almost as great as the story that you are responsible for your neighbor’s life, is the story that there is nothing better. That no matter the state you live in, we live in the greatest place on earth. 

  Listen. Think. Act. You live, you breath, you believe. You are independent. Are you ready to tell yourself that there is nothing better for your mind then to live the life of a slave? That there can be no better state for man than to have others, who know nothing of him, to control every aspect of his life. Are you honestly ready to resign your life because the liars in the government have told you society is at it’s highest stage? I have not seen the outside world; I have not been outside of my city. But I refuse to believe that I cannot build for myself a world better than my protector’s have built for me. And if you be men, if you be even close to the independent, thinking beings you were born as, you will refuse to believe it too.

  If you are still listening to this, that means that the Rebel Army is still in control of the COSMO building. You have a chance, you can fight, you can stand up for the first time in your life and say that you will not take orders, that you will not be coerced, that you will live your own life. We can win, we have a chance. 

This is James Matthew Capella XI. Thank you for listening.”

For dozens of years afterword, it was rumored that the only places in the nation where any noise was being made were in the retreat from the COSMO building and in the anarchy of the Grey Building. Every other person who had seen the speech broadcasted sat silent, not know what to say – or if anything could be said.

[Ou comment choisir un film qui plaise à tout le monde.]

La dernière fois que nous avons parlé de lui, c’était dans d’autres salons de thé, à la sortie de “Quantum of Solace”. Nous nous pâmions et nous désespérions de devoir attendre 2011 la sortie du prochain James Bond…

Aujourd’hui, sur le chemin de notre promenade familiale, nous avons fait un saut au vidéo club. Je propose au mari “Les Insurgés” [="Defiance"] avec un “c’est un film d’Histoire, ça va te plaire” très convaincant. J’ai malencontreusement ajouté un “bon et puis c’est avec Daniel Craig: s’te plaît Chériiiiiiiii?” qui m’a valu en réponse: “Espèce d’adolescente attardée, va !”.

Le mari et moi avons bel et bien regardé Daniel crevant l’écran [17 pouces de notre ordinateur - nous sommes toujours anti-télé chez nous, même si parfois nous sommes sur le point de craquer: c'est l'effet "moins de 27° chez nous le soir en plein mois de novembre", on n'est pas habitués but we'll make it through winter like you did in Belarus, Dan! - don't mind if I call you Dan?].

Mon mari que j’aime m’a serrée contre lui devant les scènes les plus thrilling. Qu’il est fort, le mari!

Quelques minutes avant la fin, on a vérifié sur la jacquette que c’était bien une production américaine. Ouf! Ils allaient pas tuer Daniel Craig non plus, faut pas déconner!

Nous recommandons donc ce choix judicieux pour la paix des ménages: Madame pourra mater les yeux bleus de Daniel pendant que Monsieur appréciera un film d’action bien viril.

[Sur le fond de l'histoire, ça m'a rappelé The Fixer - lu il y a des années, mais un des bouquins qui m'ont le plus marquée sans doute, de Bernard Malamud, sur les pogroms en Ukraine au début du XXe siècle. Géographiquement et historiquement, on n'est pas très loin. Ca paraît presque fou de penser à tout ce qu'à pu vivre un même peuple en si peu de temps.]

Revenons-en à notre sujet.

Mesdames, mesdemoiselles, vous allez être doublement déçues. J’ai aussi trouvé cette photo de Daniel:

Perso, la girlfriend, je m’en moque. Mais la moustache… NON ! Daniel ! Shave that moustache, it’s hideous ! Or come to France and play in our next “Asterix”: we do have great film directors here !

Sans blague, je lance une pétition contre la moustache blonde. Sign in the comments.

My seventh-graders with IEPs will do almost anything to get out of work, not only in my class, but in other classes as well. The social studies teacher e-mailed me:

I am wondering if it is part of F-Boy’s IEP to be allowed to wander around the room at will?? I told him several times to sit down and simply watch a movie, part of a mini-series “Into the West” He insisted that he did not have to sit more than a few minutes at a time. I challenged him to get back to his seat (4 feet from my desk) and give it an effort. I also told him I was going to check to see if this wandering thing is written into his IEP. He is currently sitting and seems to be getting into the story…

I replied immediately and assured the teacher that F-Boy has no such accommodation written into his IEP.

Nice try, kid, but it won’t fly.

This day has been one of contemplation.

I am finding the distance between me and my goals to be profoundly perplexing.  I am not sure how things will coincide with my minds view of the world.  The end results seem so abstruse, I’m bewildered and appalled at the same time.   I know my desires for the future… and I know that those desires are being reciprocated in the one I love.

I find myself tremendously strained, being that I indulge on my health and my issues for the future.  My anxiousness does not compare to that of my exasperation.  Not only do I have these things on my mind- my future, my life with my family in the states, and providing for my child.- but I also have the irritation of those around me who inflame the very essence of irritability within my conscious on a daily basis.   I do try to understand, yet it is confounding in its existence that I am seen as but a child in the eyes of some.  After ALL that I have been through, I would not call myself a child in the least, I may not be the most mature… but I am not a child.

I categorize myself as a young adult- which is appropriate considering my age.  Funny as it may sound, I have been in this category since age six.  I grew up in a dysfunctional home, as so many of us have, and as a young child I had to grow up quickly.  For some reason, certain individuals seem to consider this something of a crutch, a weakness.  Which I do not share that point of view.  Being raised by an alcoholic basically means raising yourself and attending to the alcoholic, which is backwards but tends to be that way as far as I am aware.  I understand the idea of putting yourself in situations, unhealthy ones, due to the people you grew up with… but basically I am being told that I do it no matter what… and that I like it… because of the way I am accustomed.  So there in lies the irony… I have three choices… to live here and be talked down to like I HAVE an illness, to move there and be talked down to like AM a burden, or – the better of the three and the choice which I have made- to live there, on my own, away from the condescending characteristics of those who think they know better, and to have MY family the way that I see fit.  Not really a difficult choice.  As noble as they believe themselves to be, they are being exactly what they tell me I put up with… so its a fair assumption… but I am making the choice and working to leave these conditions behind and start a new life.  Even though its in the middle of fucking nowhere, it is where I want to be for the time being.

A decision I have made, and am sticking with, is leaving the past where it fucking belongs… in the past.  I am not going to any meetings to tell me that I am some kind of a weakling because my mommy didn’t care enough to stop drinking, or because I have people in my life that have had or have now some form or another, and abusive mentality and addictive personalities.  Fuck that.  I am who I am because I had to endure such blasphemy.  I am me. I am a mother. I am a poet. I am a writer.  I am a lover. I am a friend.  I am a good person.  And I do not need anyone other than myself to tell me otherwise. Because of my trying times I am patient in a lot of situations where others are not, but at the same time I am impatient in smaller situations.  I have an ability to look past the facade of most, I feel like I am psychic because people are so predictable.  Growing up with the dysfunction has taught me to see things that most people raised otherwise would not, and I am thankful for having to put up with all the shit, because I am all the wiser now.  As I said, I am me because of it.

I have many positive qualities as well as negative.  I do not need fixing in any form by any outside influence.  I mold myself the way that I see fit.  And you would think that people understand that by my defiance to change the little things, such as peeling a potato or cutting a leg of lamb, to the larger things such as the way I discipline my child.  Oddly enough I see contradiction in everyone, they say one thing but then when it comes down to it they react just like anyone else would to any given situation.  And I am supposed to follow this example?  I would rather do what comes naturally to me, and not conform to the popular opinion.

When it comes to who I choose to be with, its exactly that… who I choose…  And the way I raise MY son….  keyword there… MY.  An uncle, aunt, or grandparent will not agree with the parents  methods, they seem to think they know better.  Whether they have experience or don’t.  A grandparent is doomed to spoil the child, they can not help it (in my experiences only, I am not making a judgment call on anyone).  And the ones I deal with, tend to think that they are the authority on the issue without question, and become personally hurt with my defiance of their methods, when at the same time, they undermine my methods exquisitely.  So its a vicious cycle of an undying battle. For which I see the only solution to be to cut my losses and get the fuck out.

so there.

What just happened?

A little bit of  recent history for your information.

In the days preempting my sudden decision to do a sky dive (the second jump actually, the first being for my 30th birthday) I would have been comfortable describing myself as a pragmatic, atheist/nihilist. I remember being under an intense personal pressure to “face my fears”  inspired in part by Ian Brown’s song “F.E.A.R”,  but also I guess I was going through one of  my regular  ”fight club moments“.  This is also the first time that I realized that I truly am a masochist. I had avoided that word in my inner dialog before now because of the obvious psycho-sexual quip that  is a constant souse of humor in pop culture and which does not describe me very well at all “well maybe just a little”. Ok, I like a little pain but doesn’t everybody?  Anyway It recently occurred to me that many people are naturally masochistic, it’s actually a part of the human condition it would seem. Doing some research into the word masochism a broader understanding of the word becomes clear.

masochism - noun

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/masochism

Ignore the first and maybe the last points and focus on the middle two, because that is what has mush broader implications for all of us.

If you consider them very thoughtfully it could be applied to many normal behaviors and also many psychological ailments out there. Bulimia, anorexia,  anxiety, paranoia, even machoisum, the list goes on and on. Why do we humans so love to drink, smoke, take drugs, get into fights, gamble etc, Go on scary rides at a fun park? Do just about anything fun and you might be at risk of being a masochist. Still not sure? Then how about watching the evening news? Why bring such pain into your life? Watched any horror movies lately or thrillers? Actually watched anything lately? Tension is always the backbone of any good movie, play, book or television show and tension has a close cousin called anxiety. Bring me a person who isn’t a masochist on some level in some way. There are some people who are not, but they are very rare individuals indeed.

The promise

So on the day before I picked up the phone and booked myself in for the jump my inner masochist prodded me with a very lucrative promise, ” facing my fears and I would become the owner of myself and ruler of my destiny, along with it was a feeling of self worth, glory, even power!   After all you’ve gotta die sometime right? So jump the chasm youve nothing to lose, do it!” I just needed some guts thats all. “Hmm” I thought. “easier said than done”. “The “Ego” is a very complex creature indeed, some times its actions are positive and sometimes plain dangerous, not all bad and not all good and this time I guess the Ego, “the monkey’s” cruel pleasures had gone to far.

Why was this decision to do the scariest thing  I could imagine the catalyst for transformation? Looking back, I really don’t know. Maybe I had popped a diode, was it a crisis? One thing I can say for sure the Monkey would never have expected such an outcome, because it exposed its one true weakness to me and in doing so gave me the answer to how I want to live my life.

What happened?

When you stare into the abyss the abyss stares back at you.

Friedrich Nietzsche
German philosopher (1844 – 1900)

On the way out the airplane door I pop an even bigger diode, this time that diode was the monkey itself!  The one that had hidden my true nature from me for so long had vanished for at least a few moments.  The monkey “metaphorically speaking”, crapped itself and ran away. In those first few seconds plunging headlong into the yawning abyss of fear and uncertainty that opened up before my startled eyes, all pretense promulgated by the ego now extinguished and a silence befell me like nothing I have ever experienced before, leaving what I now know as my true being, my real inner essence took in all that had been hidden my the monkey mind and at that moment I knew there was someone else inside me and not just the monkey I had identified with as “myself” all this time.  I had to know what on earth just happened!

There are two of us special ed teachers at our school. We co-teach a seventh-grade life skills class. Today’s lesson was on test-taking skills. The kids weren’t interested. Some of them refused to open their test booklets. Some of them opened their booklets, but sat and stared at me. Others kept asking, “What page are we on?” even though I had repeated the page number at least half a dozen times, and walked around the room to make sure everyone was in the right place.

After more than 30 minutes of their defiance and indolence, I’d had enough. “You’re on your own, guys. The rest of this assignment is due at the end of the period. You have about 20 minutes to finish.”

I went to my desk and began entering grades in the online grade book. My co-teacher was sitting at another table in the room, where she had been grading papers. Two or three of the boys moved to her table immediately and asked for help. She read the questions and possible answers to them so they could choose the best answer.

For about 10 minutes, the room was fairly quiet except for some giggling coming from the table. All of a sudden the quietness was shattered by my co-teacher’s declaring to one boy: “If you’re going to be an asshole, then I’m not going to help you. Go back to your seat.”

I kept my head down. I didn’t dare look up. I knew I’d start to laugh if I did. Fortunately, the bell rang a few minutes later and the boys left for their next class.

These kids can try the patience of the proverbial saint. My co-teacher and I aren’t saints. She’d finally had enough of their antics and said the first thing that came to mind.

We’ll see if there’s any parental fallout from this incident.

Thursday after my Intermediate Fiction class ended, one of the other students approached me and asked if I would be able to read the rough draft of her story and critique it. She was deeply impressed by my previous story (the Holocaust one that I blogged about earlier) and, since she doesn’t expect a ton of valuable feedback from her small group, she asked for my feedback as well. Actually, she said she would be “honored” if I would look at her story. Apparently I’m more susceptible to flattery than I thought, because I agreed to critique it for her. (Just kidding, just kidding. She did say she would be honored if I looked at her story, and I could tell she was completely serious. And I have no problem helping other writers with their stories.)

I also went down to the public library and checked out the movies Defiance and Love in the Time of Cholera. I’m going to watch them because they are similar in some ways to two of the novel ideas I have, and I want to pick up a few tips. So sometime this week I’ll be kicking back and enjoying a couple of historical films. Have you ever watched them before? What did you think of them? I’ll try to post a review of each.

I love the movie, “Sunshine”

In a totally abstract fashion,  the way Cliff Curtis as “Searle”. Is completely blown away by the power of the visual experience looking into the sun,  ”for me”  translates to something like the  ”mystical  experience” that I had while skydiving.

The clip bellow is a trance piece ” Alex M.O.R.P.H. – Sunshine (Nitrous Oxide Mix)” made by djmarkr1972 who does a fantastic job mixing Sunshine imagery with the track. He’s done a great job and brings the thing  together to amplify “Searle’s” experience in a totally hypnotic and powerful way.