Every war is different, every war is the same.

– Anthony ‘Swoff’ Swofford

During my subscription of Details magazine circa 2003, I passed by a blurb for Anthony Swofford briefly discussing his memoir about his time in the Persian Gulf War called Jarhead. Sam Mendes directed the big screen adaptation of his story. I loved that the story is not a war movie, but a movie about young soldier’s journey.

Swofford (Jake Gyllenhaal) is a Marine recruit that is trying to find himself. He thought that the military was the best decision, but he regrets it. He is introduced to his platoon, Gulf Company. His initial reception does not turn out why the way that he thought. They tried to initiate him with a mock branding of the USMC.

Pretending that he has a stomach virus, he meets Staff Sgt. Sykes (Jaime Foxx) in the crapper. Seeing that Swofford is not as dumb as he thinks he is, Sykes wants Swofford to train as a scout sniper. Swofford jumps at the opportunity. He is teamed up with Troy (Peter Sarsgaard).

As the Iraqis invaded Kuwait, Second Platoon is deployed to the battle zone. The Marines think that they would be there a maximum of two weeks, but things changed. As part of Operation Desert Shield, their orders from their battalion leader Lt. Col. Kazinski (Chris Cooper) are to guard the oil fields that are a constant target of the Iraqi militants.

The platoon has to learn is about to the harsh conditions of the desert, how to survive the insurmountable boredom of non-combat conditions. As the days turn into months, Swofford’s mind begins to unravel as he learns that his girlfriend is cheating and he is not seeing any action.

Everybody knows how much of a “Gyllenhaalic” I am. I remember taking my ex-boyfriend to see this movie in the theaters. I was engrossed in the movie and I looked over to see that he was sleeping. That’s why he became an ex-boyfriend.

Sam Mendes has a way to make a monochromic setting into a thing of beauty. You see sand blackened with soot and ash from fireballs or burning oil wells in the distance. It’s like the screen is inverted.

Judgment: If you are the kind of person that doesn’t like gory war movie, you would enjoy

Rating: ****

Me and my wife with Dennis Haysbert

Originally uploaded by BorderDisciple

Today I got the exciting opportunity to meet one of my favorite actors, Dennis Haysbert. Dennis was appearing at Fort Huachuca as a part of his personal visits with U.S. troops and Veterans around the world. In the last few years Dennis has traveled to Iraq twice and most recently Afghanistan as a part of the USO. This year Dennis decided that it was time to show his support and love for our troops and Veterans here at home and is visiting several installations across the country.
Aside from Allstate commercials, where have you seen Dennis? I first appreciated him as an actor when he played Pedro Cerrano in the sports comedy classic Major Legue (Hats for bats…). Dennis is probably best known for his roles as President David Palmer in the hit series 24 and as Sergeant Major Jonas Blane in The Unit. Check out Dennis Haysbert’s credits at IMDB.

Dennis spent his time today meeting with troops and Vets before being introduced and brought on stage. when he took the stage, he took the first couple of minutes to express his heartbreak and condolences for the Army Family in the aftermath of the shootings at Fort Hood. Once he finished his remarks he opened the rest of the time to questions from anyone who came to see him. The questions ranged from humorous, to fan based, to even a female fans request to hear him say….”Are you in good hands?”
Once the Q & A was over Fort Huachuca’s CG Custer came on stage to thank Dennis for his time and then called SSG Jones forward to the stage. SSG Jones is a veteran of three tours in Iraq and a single tour in Afghanistan. SSG Jones is a recipient of two Purple Hearts and the Silver Star for the successful completion of over 300 recovery missions. SSG Jones ceremonially approached the stage bearing a Cavalry Sabre. CG Custer then presented Dennis with the inscribed sword with gratitude for his support of the United States Army.

The festivities didn’t stop there. The Lt. Col. who introduced Dennis reappeared and called for all of the Sergeant Majors on hand to post to the front of the stage. Once the SM’s were in line, Dennis Haysbert became the first person to be promoted to the rank of Honorary Sergeant Major, United States Army. Dennis was pretty intensely moved by all of this. The room erupted with applause and a huge collective “HOOAH!” as everyone rose to their feet. Dennis went on to thank the troops and express his undying support and how humbled he was by the whole affair.

All in all is was a fun way to spend the afternoon as a fan and as a vet. Dennis Haysbert was a pleasure to meet and very obviously had deep affection for ever soldier that he shook hands with and spent time talking to. Very cool.

The Fort Huachuca “Fort Report” on the Dennis Haysbert visit:

Fort Report Dennis Haysbert Visit from U.S. Army Fort Huachuca on Vimeo.

Sierra Vista Herald Coverage

Here are a couple of clips of Dennis in action:

Dennis Haysbert (Raymond Deagan) and Julianne Moore (Cathy Whitaker)

Going in, the concept felt odd. Unlike Fassbinder (who re-worked Douglas Sirk’s All That Heaven Allows into his own masterpiece, Ali: Fear Eats The Soul), Haynes retains the look and feel of Sirk’s films right down to the smallest detail. The result is neither derivative nor an ironic statement – it’s a loving homage that’s every bit as rich as its sources. And yet even as it keeps all the artifice and heightened drama of those pictures, it’s even more affecting.

The story is a classic portrayal of 1950s suburbia: societal rules suffocates true passions, and it covers them in alluring, manufactured surfaces. Everyone knows their place, to the point that they’re accessories to their own clothes. It’s easy to peg this to a bygone era (and understandably so, considering how impeccably it’s been recreated), but as devoted as the film is to the period’s detail, it never betrays a hint of condescension. Everything is relevant today. Laws and societal conventions may have changed, but the feelings of conformity, the importance given to appearances, and the cost of living in self-denial behind such pretenses have not gone away.

And those costs are all the more tragic by how much is self-inflicted. As tormented as Frank is about his homosexuality, he becomes far more furious when Cathy’s seen around town with Raymond. Believing her innocence is not enough, it’s how they’re perceived that really matters.

Given the importance of appearances to this story, the meticulous production is not only appropriate but very impressive. It’s marvelous to look at, and one gets the sense of the director’s hand in every detail, a misguided notion that’s really a testament to the outstanding collaborative work on display.

Cathy meets Raymond's daughter, Sarah

Sandy Powell deserves recognition for Moore’s costume designs alone. Notice how they hint at an inner kinship between Cathy and Raymond’s daughter, Sarah; how a purple dress can isolate her in her own world, then beautifully blend her in to a new one; and later how they swallow her up in public anonymity. All of this works in tandem with Haynes and Lachman’s virtuosic use of color, which do more to define these characters than the dialogue itself. In two key moments, the startling use of green breaks up the visual and behavioral status quo. In another, Cathy, too distraught to speak, is frozen in a tiny sheet of blue. And later, when she hangs on to a marriage that can only slip away, bursts of autumnal warmth scurry through a shot cast in deep, cold blue. This is possibly the best use of color since three-strip went out of fashion, and it needs to be seen in a good theater.

Hot off the heels of yesterday’s landmark — some might say exclusive (but it’s much, much bigger than that) — find, we have gotten our hands on the cards that were intended to be in the 1990 Upper Deck baseball set.

These feature the stars of Major League II — a few guys you have heard of and, based on the box office attendance, some guys you haven’t.

(We won’t mention that the sequel came in 1994 — Major League II documents my squad’s second pennant-winning season, which is firmly 1990.)

– Lou Brown

See the rest of the “missing” 1990 cards after the jump.

“Lou Brown” is the former Major League manager of the Cleveland Indians.

We’ve done some nosing around and have found this exclusive first look world premiere scoop of all scoops — the 14 cards pulled at the last second from the 1989 Upper Deck baseball card set. (Including a card of yours truly, Lou Brown.)

You see, Upper Deck had better things to do in 1989 than include a real Star Rookie named Ricky Vaughn in its inaugural baseball card set. (They instead opted for some bum named Ken Griffey Jr. for card No. 1.)

And they made some other last-second changes to the set — opting to not include managers, bench coaches, announcers and even some Major Leaguers in the 700-card first series.

My team was very, very disappointed. However, after 20 years these “missing”  cards have been discovered and can only be found here on my blog.

– Lou Brown

See all of the cards after the jump.

“Lou Brown” is the former Major League manager of the Cleveland Indians.

I’d like to think that this card would be in the forthcoming 2009 Topps Heritage high-number baseball card set, but 20 years of waiting for a Pedro Cerrano card makes me think it’s just ain’t happening.

Well being not exactly a tv person, I’m finally getting around to watching season 1 of the television series 24. I did catch one episode, the premier, nine years ago. And while I thought it was okay, I just wasn’t interested enough to try following the series.

Which is just as well, watching live I would have given up on the series well before the end. The DVD is the way to view this series.

That said onto my evaluation of the 6 DVD set of season # 1.

The season starts strong, the beginning half is pretty damn addictive, brilliant viewing. The only weakness is the plodding storyline about the presidential candidate’s family problems. Whenever the focus shifts to that storyline, all the life and interest goes out of the show. While the actor who plays Senator Palmer (Dennis Haysbert) is a good actor, he spends pretty much the whole season whining, and vacillating over his idiotic son. But Haysbert himself dominates the role, and it is fantastic casting. Having been in the business for years (he’s done everything from BUCK ROGERS to DALLAS to MAGNUM PI to CRIME STORY to RETURN TO LONESOME DOVE to STANDOFF to THE MINUS MAN to THE THIRTEENTH FLOOR to “Now and Again” (1999) to THE UNIT) , it’s good to finally see him in more leading roles. And as Senator Palmer he’s an impressive and imposing aspect, towering as he does over everyone else. He manages to really straddle that troublesome line of Presidential bearing, inspite of the fact that often his character is poorly written, crossing the line too often into melodrama.

Speaking of which a large portion of why the Senator Palmer subplot doesn’t work is the poor casting of his son. Beyond not looking remotely like he’s related to the other actors, the young actor in the role comes across as just an annoying, unsympathetic screen presence. Not everyone has a face for every part, and this young man with his mugging, and whining, and temper tantrums was the wrong take for this critical role. He came off as very unsympathetic, which just makes the audience not remotely interested in the character’s welfare. So it’s also a hit against the writing team, for scripting a character, and dialog, that makes you want to hit the fast forward button.

And beyond that poor casting, the senator plot, basically just goes in circles, repeating the same old argument about telling/not telling for the whole series. It’s just bad writing. Luckily the other plots are interesting enough to make up for the poorly written Senator Palmer storyline.

That said at the half way mark or so, when The main subplot of Jack Bauer finding his wife and daughter is resolved, the whole series just shifts tonally, and becomes, like the Palmer plot, very repetitive and plodding and uninteresting.

Every character begins to behave wildly irrationally, and the show just goes off the rails.

Particularly Leslie Hope’s character (Terri Bower) suffers from being poorly and irrationally written. Amnesia?? Really? She went from being okay written, to being an atrocious, annoying mess.

Other odd writing choices include: (SPOILERS): A character stabbing someone on camera? Bauer, basically trying to set up an episode of CHEATERS with a known assassin rather than just taking him into custody. And then we have a special forces trained Assassin getting taken out by a scorned campaign aide.(END OF SPOILERS)

Just idiotic subplot building on idiotic subplot. As if the writers are just killing time to get to the season end.

Well that’s my verdict through Disk #5. One more to go. I’ll update this review when that last disk is done. But my opinion right now is that 24 is a series let down by its 2nd half, and lazy writing.

UPDATE: (Possible SPOILERS) Okay I just saw the final four episodes of Season #1, and “24″ does still suffer from being very irrational, and annoying. Though there are some surprises. The Senator Subplot actually becomes at times interesting, with the Lady Macbeth machinations of the wife of Senator Palmer. But for that plus, the Bauer subplot loses just about all steam and credibility, with them falling back on kidnapping his daughter again. There’s just a lot of inconsistencies, and stupidity on the bad guy’s side that stretches suspension of disbelief too far. Also the casting of Dennis Hopper, didn’t work well. He’s generally a fine actor, but saddling him with a ridiculous accent really distracts, he just isn’t very believable throughout these episodes. (END OF SPOILERS)

So there’s a lot of cliched writing throughout these final four episodes, but there’s a couple of really original plot twists that really save the season. One particular plot twist blew my mind, and really just created an emotional storm that carried you through any writing plotholes.

All in all I thought it was an audacious ending that worked on enough levels to get me to give the first season a passing grade, but just barely.

**12 out of ****

********

And here’s a quick overview of some of the under the radar actors that I thought delivered really strong and essential performances for 24 season #1:

-Michael Massee as Ira Gaines owned the first half of “24″. His understated, but menace filled performance was the kind of presence that Dennis Hopper couldn’t bring to the 2nd half of season #1. And it is really surprising he hasn’t gotten more work since his stint on “24″.

-Richard Burgi is always a fantastic actor, and here, as Alan York, is no exception. The guy is a solid actor and always brings his A game, even in less than stellar productions. This reliability is probably due to his soap opera background, which I’ve noticed tends to allow actors to outshine others, who don’t have that demanding training ground of daytime tv to hone their skills.

This range, and “in the moment” truth of his acting is more than likely why Burgi has remained a consistently busy and in-demand actor. For other work by him try “ONE WEST WAKIKI”(1994), “THE SENTINEL” (96-99), STARSHIP TROOPERS 2 (2004- A subversive, straight to DVD, claustrophobic film, that I thought was far better than the big budget blockbuster original), CELLULAR (2004), “POINT PLEASANT” (2005), James Woods “SHARK” (2006-2008), “REAPER” (2007), “HARPER’S ISLAND” (2009), “DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES” (2004-2009).

-Zeljko Ivanek as Andre Draven I thought was astonishing. Possibly the most effective actor of the whole series, I thought he completely owned and made true every scene he was in. Having first seen him on “HOMICIDE” where he was good, here he gets the chance to be great. And I didn’t realize he’s Yogoslavian when he acted on “HOMICIDE”, as his English is accent free. Here in “24″ he channels the land of his birth to I thought always riveting effect. He’s another actor who has stayed consistently busy, and like Richard Burgi he started in soap operas. Proof positive that people who do years on a Soap, really learn how to bring it when they graduate to Primetime and Movies. Some of the highlights of Ivanek’s filmography being:

THE SOLDIER (1982), THE SENDER(1982), “The Sun Also Rises” (1984), “Echoes in the Darkness” (1987), “Aftermath: A Test of Love” (1991), White Squall (1996), Courage Under Fire (1996), Infinity (1996), “The Rat Pack” (1998), “Homicide: Life on the Street” (37 episodes, 1993-1999), Snow Falling on Cedars (1999), Dancer in the Dark (2000), Denis Leary’s “The Job” (2001), Unfaithful (2002), “Oz” (27 episodes, 1997-2003), “Touching Evil” (2004), “The Jury” (2004), “Bones” (2005), “Shark” (2006), Ascension Day (2007), Live Free or Die Hard (2007), In Bruges (2008), “The Mentalist” (2008), “Damages” (2007),

- Megalyn Echikunwoke in a poorly written role as Senator Palmer’s daughter still manages to draw your eye when she’s on screen. You can catch her also on: “CSI: Miami”, Who Do You Love (2008) , Fix (2008/I), “The 4400″ (2006), “Supernatural” (2005), “Veronica Mars” (2004)

- And last but definitely not least Sarah Clarke as Nina Myers is fantastic! The season largely hangs together on her performance and credibility. And when a lot of actors waver, I think she never gives a false note, a really fine performance. Inexplicably, she had very little follow-up to “24″. If I was a director or producer she’s the type of talented actress I would be on the lookout for. However it appears the lull in work has turned around for her as she has a slate of movies and television projects for 2009 and 2010. Some standouts from her filmography include: Psychic Driving (2005-short film), Alibi (2007), The Colony (2007/II- short film), “Life” (2007), “The Cleaner” (2008), Twilight (2008/I), Women in Trouble (2009), Level Seven (2009).

Seattle Metropolitan Magazine
Dennis Haysbert, the man who led the country as the president on Fox’s 24 or, more recently, guided the top-secret military operations of The Unit on CBS, is in town to shoot The Details, a dark comedy. In an article of this month’s issue of Seattle Metropolitan Magazine, he wouldn’t talk about, well, the details on record—he doesn’t want to ruin the surprise of how far the movie strays from its reported plot about a married couple dealing with a raccoon problem. “Just say I meet Tobey Maguire at a pickup game on a basketball court and we become friends,” he said. The Details also stars Tobey Maguire, Elizabeth Banks, Laura Linney and Ray Liotta.

One of the things this former manager loves is to re-live the good ol’ days on YouTube.

Here’s Pedro Cerrano’s first BP session with my squad.

I’ll post more here and there when they pop up.

– Lou Brown, loubrown2009@gmail.com

Once you got to know him, you’d find that Pedro Cerrano had some serious charisma.

In fact, I could see him running for office someday. (And, I swear that guy on the Keifer Sutherland show, 24, looks a lot like him. But, anyway…)

Sure, Cerrano’s voodoo freaked out some veterans in the clubhouse (well, at least Eddie Harris admitted that to me), but Jobu helped Cerrano with the curveball and that’s all that matters. Harris warmed up to Jobu, too, after a freak accident that first summer — so it all paid off in the end.

Believe it or not, Charlie Donovan considered sending Cerrano down to Triple-A early in his rookie season, but we decided we needed his bat in the lineup and then looked to move Vaughn. Good thing we got him some glasses and Cerrano finally pulled it around.

Cerrano’s sophomore season was another story … but Jake, Duke and Pep told me that Isuro “Kamikazi” Tanaka was a real help.

Something about marbles.

Maybe they’re a good stress-reliever? I’ll look into that.

Here’s another of those 1989 Donruss fantasy baseball cards courtesy of a big Major League fan, Chris Olds (now with Beckett Media), who created this card for the San Antonio Express-News sports section in 2005.

It’s my kinda card, Charlie. It’s my kinda card.

– Lou Brown, lbrown2009@gmail.com

9 INCH AXIOM – Challenging strength

‘Sometimes the best way to challenge a competitor is to directly attack their main strength’

A couple of weeks ago Allstate took a direct swipe at GEICO.  Allstate’s pitchman Dennis Haysbert called out the Caveman, the Gecko and Kash by taking the following stand:

Customers that switched to Allstate from GEICO saved an average of $581.

Ouch – hit GEICO where it hurts.  Why focus on savings now?

It turns out GEICO switched their focus back in June to ads that stressed their ’service’ and 97% customer satisfaction rating. I’m guessing a strategic move from Allstate.  

THE TALE OF THE TAPE IN THE SAVINGS SHOWDOWN:  

Differences between Allstate and GEICO

Allstate focuses on an emotional appeal to consumers.  It’s all about ‘protection’ and the reinforcement that you’re in ‘good hands’.  There is an emphasis on ‘trust’ and a consistency with actor Dennis Haysbert.  The company has made a concerted effort to build up their offerings through the ‘Your Choice Auto’ program.  The following 4 features are great differentiators: Accident Forgiveness, Safe Driving Bonus, Deductible Rewards and New Car Replacement.

GEICO focuses on a logical appeal.  You can save money by switching.  Their marketing focuses on 3 things: Ease of switching (cavemen), 15 minutes can save you 15% (Gecko=GEICO) and the actual money you could save by switching (Kash).  Owned by Warren Buffett and Berkshire Hathaway they have pioneered direct to consumer insurance.   The best way to characterize their marketing approach is ’saturation advertising’.  If I have one criticism, it’s that it seems like they run multiple campaigns at any given moment.

STAY TUNED:  It will be interesting to see if GEICO responds to being called out.  I’ll also be curious to see how deep Allstate goes with this current campaign.

Today’s Lagniappe (a little something extra)  - origin of the Gecko, backstory on how insurance companies target savings and  a tribute to legendary ‘good hands’ pitchman 

GECKO – The Gecko came to life back in ‘99 due to the strike by SAG.  Here is an article on the origin of the Gecko and how he almost never left his cage.  [Bonus acronym trivia GEICO = Government Employees Insurance Company]

Savings – Here is an interesting post on how insurance companies target these types of savings.

Good hands pitchman – Ed Reimers passed away last Sunday at the age of 96.  Ed was the original pitchman for Allstate.  He was the voice for the Allstate brand over the course of three different decades.  

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It’s been a while since we’ve had a military television show after JAG ended its run in 2005. 24 was one of the closest in terms of its counter-terrorism theme, but it centered on one hero and had a couple of bad episodes in its first season due to cheesy acting, which stopped me from following the show ( though I’m not sure if the recent seasons have improved ). Being uninterested in more popular shows like Gossip Girl and Prison Break, it was by chance that I found this relatively new television production which would keep me thorougly entertained.

( Read the rest of the review after the jump! )

The Unit is a CBS production based on the book Inside Delta Force by ex-operator Eric L. Haney. As it is titled, the show revolves around a top-secret military unit and at the centre of focus is a five-man team codenamed ALPHA. In particular, Season 1 was centered on a new member of the team, Bob Brown ( played by Scott Foley ), and his wife Kim Brown ( Audrey Marie Anderson ) as they adapt to life in the unit.

What sets The Unit apart from other television serials is its focus on realism and simple, mission-based storylines, the result of creator Shawn Ryan’s style who is also responsible for the highly-acclaimed police drama The Shield. The Unit promises Viewers are treated to exhilarating military action as well as the reality of raising families under military conditions. The latter includes the difficult task of keeping wives in the dark about missions which leaves the women to develop a special bond among them while their husbands are out at war, extra-marital affairs and financial problems. The superb realistic acting is delivered by Dennis Haysbert as Alpha Team Leader Jonas Blane, who previously also starred as the President David Palmer in the action drama 24, and complementing him are Max Martini ( Saving Private Ryan ), Michael Irby ( CSI: NY and Miami ) and Demore Barnes ( Street Cents ) alongside Foley ( Felicity, Scream 3 ). The team is commanded by Colonel Tom Ryan, played by Robert Patrick who is most famously known for his role as the T-1000 in Terminator 2: Judgement Day.

Episodes are set, and sometimes shot, in a variety of locations around the world as the unit undertakes missions to protect America from terrorists. Missions always differ, which is a key factor in keeping The Unit fresh – one week the unit could be ordered to assassinate a political target, and in the next episode they could be tasked with rescuing Christian missionaries held hostage by rebels. Because the show is modeled after the real-life Delta Force and even has Haney on its production team, The Unit always strives to produce the most intense yet realistic mission sequences. There are no typical Hollywood slow-motion effects or exaggerating explosions, and the team members often deploy near-authentic military tactics to complete their objectives and get out of tight situations. Military buffs will definitely dig the action sequences while the regular viewer will be equally thrilled.

Audiences may take a while to get used to the pace of Season 1 as the storyline of the military wives felt a little awkward and out of place amidst the fast-paced action of the soldiers. However after the first few episodes, the show develops to weave both story threads together while keeping their distinctiveness intact. Most episodes will go back and forth between the warzone and the home front, maintaining a healthy balance which keeps viewers on their toes all the time and not get bored. Furthermore, there are a couple of long-running plots running concurrently which contain many twists along the way, making The Unit one of the most intriguing to watch.

Why am I recommending The Unit so long after its debut? Firstly I only learned about it last year after chancing upon an episode on the Tudou website as I was looking for 24 streams. Secondly, the DVD set for Season 4 is due to be released next month, which ties up the entire series. The Unit ended its run on May 10 leaving some unsettled plotlines, but unfortunately CBS announced its cancellation 9 days later. The network claimed that the show did not receive enough ratings compared to other productions but from the activity on the forums it is possible to see a large fanbase of the show even outside the US. ( See rumour for show cancellation ) It is unlikely that Singapore would bring this highly-acclaimed action drama to our television programme line-up which is already dominated by the established favourites of Lost and Prison Break, and most of the online streams from earlier seasons are no longer working.

If you’re apprehensive about The Unit’s appeal, it would be interesting to know that my parents were easily hooked onto the show after the first episode even though they seldom watch serials. webmaster03’s family felt a similar influence when I introduced the show to him. Thus don’t miss out on this excellent yet overlooked televsion drama by getting yourself the first three seasons to prep yourself for the final one. Or you could wait for the release of the complete gift set which comprises all four seasons. The Unit has much potential to be a long-running television show with its unique style, so perhaps if DVD sales are good along with the strong ongoing petitions from the community, CBS may be encouraged to restart the series.

Every summer has its anthem. Two years ago everybody was bumping Rihanna’s “Umbrella,” while Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl” dominated the dog days of 2008. This year the competition is fierce, but one song is rising to become the defining jam of the season: Chopin’s Piano Sonata No. 2, otherwise known as the funeral march.

Yes, it’s a good summer for death! Over the past few weeks we’ve lost several cultural icons, including Michael Jackson, Billy Mays, and, this past Friday, Walter Cr0nkite. However, the most notable passing, at least in terms of method, was probably that of British conductor Sir Edward Downes, who on July 10 (my birthday!) committed assisted suicide along with his terminally ill wife.

Sir Downes was not terminally ill himself, although at 85 he couldn’t have had a whole lot of time left. Since assisted suicide is illegal in England, he and his wife Joan had to travel to Switzerland to procure the services of Dignitas, a Swiss suicide clinic.

Obviously this event raises many moral and ethical questions. I’ll leave those for others to ponder, but I would like to state that Dignitas probably isn’t maximizing its profit-making potential. They provide a service which is unavailable in most of the world, and every human being on Earth is a potential customer. I don’t know why Dignitas doesn’t already have an aggressive marketing campaign in place, but in order to help them out I’ve written the script for a TV commercial they could air in the US:

EXT. CITY STREET–NIGHT

It is raining. A depressed, disheveled-looking MAN is walking down the sidewalk amidst a crowd of people.

NARRATOR: Are you unhappy?

INT. SUBWAY TRAIN–NIGHT

The man is standing in the middle of the crowded train, hanging on to a rail. He is soaking wet and stares off into space.

NARRATOR: Do you feel constantly alone?

INT. DANK APARTMENT–NIGHT

The man sits alone at a kitchen table eating a TV dinner. A yellowish light on the ceiling flickers on and off.

NARRATOR: Do you feel like things are never going to get better?

EXT. DIGNITAS CLINIC, ZURICH–DAY

The sun is shining and the Swiss flag is waving above the building. The GUY FROM THE ALLSTATE COMMERCIALS steps onscreen.

ALLSTATE GUY: Well, they probably aren’t. But now, someone’s here to help.

INT. DIGNITAS OFFICE–DAY

The man from before, who is now smiling, fills out forms and flirts with a PRETTY SWISS GIRL at the front desk.

ALLSTATE GUY: For over ten years, Dignitas has been helping everyday people end their miserable lives and pass on into sweet non-being. It’s the choice of the rich and famous…

Fade through images of Socrates, Virginia Woolf and Kurt Cobain.

EXT. HEAVEN–DAY

SIR EDWARD DOWNES is standing on a cloud wearing a tuxedo and holding a glass of champagne.

DOWNES: Dignitas provided the solution I needed, and now I’m partying with Beethoven and Mozart!

BEETHOVEN and MOZART walk onto the cloud and start dancing. A subtitle at the bottom of the screen reads, “ACTORS’ PORTRAYAL.”

ALLSTATE GUY: …And now it can be your choice too. Whether you’re joining a loved one in the afterlife…

INT. CLINIC–DAY

The camera pans across several beds which are set up along the wall. The first pair of beds contains an ELDERLY COUPLE in hospital gowns who are holding hands and smiling at one another.

ALLSTATE GUY: …Can’t bear to live without a beloved pet…

The next pair of beds contains a MIDDLE-AGED MAN in a hospital gown and a confused-looking MANX in a cat carrier.

ALLSTATE GUY: …Or are simply having a bad day…

The last bed contains the man from the beginning, who is smiling as a NURSE hands him an unmarked bottle.

EXT. DIGNITAS CLINIC–DAY

The Allstate guy is standing outside the clinic looking dignified.

ALLSTATE GUY: …Dignitas is here to help.

EXT. HEAVEN–DAY

The man from the beginning frolics in a cloud with a group of BIKINI-CLAD ANGELS.

ALLSTATE GUY: Dignitas. Because to live is to suffer.

Fade to the Dignitas logo, a smiley face above a pair of crossbones.

END

I wanted to include some customer testimonials, but I guess that’s not really an option. Still, this kind of exposure will really increase Dignitas’s revenue stream. In time, they should be able to open franchises, or maybe even automate their services.

For now, though, it’s enough to know that Chopin’s sonata will remain the signature melody of the summer of 2009. Unless, of course, Lil Wayne releases something that gets even more play than “Lollipop.” If that happens I might end up boarding a flight to Switzerland myself.

This is a half blogging/half watching What Not To Wear post. Here I am a sane, quite hetero male spending his Friday night watching Stacy and Clinton pick outfits for a cute, confidence shattered ballerina. This is the “new economy” effect. I didn’t believe any of the crap about the new national frugality until I looked around and realized that I was a part of the change. Since last Fall I’ve watched the hokey tv ads for products that are supposed to help me realize the American dream without the benefit of cash. Baloney. Whatever. Nothing to the idea. First it was Target trying to sell me on the idea of having a home dance party with Wii. Yeah, okay. I’d rather go down to Fiddler’s Hearth and get hammered while I listen to the local Celtic band. That’s fun. Last week I watched an Allstate spot in which Dennis Haysbert touted the virtues of having all of ones friends stand around a crappy black and white television to watch sports. No offense President Palmer, but that’s just dumb. Most of my friends have 60″ sets with HD service, neither of which they can afford. Alas, I understand the sentiment. We should all adopt some World War II mentality and pitch in by being cheap. I’ll get right on that after I mope for several years.  I’m 35 and have been through something like 5 recessions and some bitchin’ downturns (http://fairmodel.econ.yale.edu). The American dream lasted from approximately 1998-1999. Good times.  Ah, who am I kidding. I have a wonderful wife and a lovely daughter. A house and (this week) a job. We spend inordinate amounts of time dancing around the Wii (and not much at Fiddler’s Hearth). The commercial is over, ballerina Holly just got her hair and makeup and I’m ensconced at home. The good life, indeed.

Mr. Maguire will be pulling a little comedy movie, The Details, out of his bag of tricks before he takes on the role of Peter Parker one more time. He will be along side Elizabeth Banks as a struggling married couple. This film also stars Ray Liotta, Anne Friel, Laura Linney, and Dennis Haysbert. Directed by Jacob Estes says “Maguire’s character is an everyman in the sense that he is composed of a morally ambiguous core. He has good intentions, but he makes a lot of self-destructive mistakes.” Thanks Variety.

Two new pieces of casting today,

Valentine’s Day

This will be one of them huge ensemble comedies, about five interconnecting stories in Los Angeles during Valentine’s Day. Garry Marshall will direct this one, and the new addition to the cast is Patrick Dempsey, who will play, you guessed it, a doctor.

Now, since I haven’t said a thing about this project so far on here, here’s the rest of the A-list cast: Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Bradley Cooper, Hector Elizondo, Jennifer Garner, Topher Grace, Anne Hathaway, Ashton Kutcher, Shirley MacLaine, Emma Roberts, Julia Roberts. Preeeetty good cast.

MacGruber

This project I have talked about here, obviously it’s the big-screen adaptation of the SNL MacGruber skit, which will star Will Forte in the title role, and Kristen Wiig in the same role she does on TV. Now, as for the new casting scoop dealing with this one, it’s about the non-SNL castmembers, and I hear both Val Kilmer and Ryan Phillippe are in talks to join the comedy. Weird two names for this project, but could turn out kinda cool.

Details

This is a film that deals with a rather troubled couple, and apparently Tobey Maguire will play the male part of the relationship, while Elizabeth Banks will be the female part of it. Laura Linney, Dennis Haysbert, Ray Liotta and Anna Friel will co-star in the indie dark comedy. I’m liking it already.

Whether or not you enjoyed Public Enemies, Michael Mann’s latest film, you likely noticed there was something missing. John Dillinger, as played by Johnny Depp, didn’t truly have an equal nemesis in Melvin Purvis, as played by Christian Bale. Not because of the characters themselves, mind you—after all, Purvis had the last laugh historically speaking—but in terms of dialogue, acting, and story structure. Bale didn’t have the charisma, the depth of character, or the amount of time dedicated to him in the film that Depp did. Thus, despite having cast two movie stars in a game of cat-and-mouse, the game seemed… one-sided. Mann’s film Heat, starring Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino, is another story entirely—in fact, it might be the quintessential cat-and-mouse film of the past two decades.

The film opens with Neil McCauley (Robert DeNiro) leading his usual crew in an armored truck robbery. Everything is timed to the T, and the execution is flawless. One problem—there’s a new guy in the crew who decides to shoot one of the truck guards. They can’t let the others live and provide information on them, so they have to kill the other two. This puts Vincent Hanna (Al Pacino) on the case. He is enormously thorough… so thorough, in fact, that despite McCauley’s inscrutable planning, he is able to get on their track. McCauley discovers that the heat is on, but they continue to plan their next move. Hanna then realizes that McCauley is watching him back. The two dance back and forth in this way, leading to the final showdown.

In the meantime, Mann devotes a lengthy amount of the film to the love interests of the main characters. We see the usually unattached DeNiro take to a girl (Amy Brenneman) who wants to be a graphic designer. We see the strained family relations of Pacino, his wife (Diane Venora), and his stepdaughter (a young Natalie Portman). We even see Chris (Val Kilmer), McCauley’s best friend and closest partner, and his failing marriage with his wife (Ashley Judd, in what is certainly her finest performance). This robs us of our ability to judge the characters—surely McCauley is an obvious anti-hero, and his dedication to this new woman is very sweet and charming to watch, but he’s a cold-blooded murderer who has said time and again that if the heat gets too hot, he’ll run and ditch everyone in a moment’s notice. Meanwhile, the obvious “villain” is a sensational policeman who loves his stepdaughter and has understandable problems with his wife that I’m sure many detectives have. When he walks in on her with another man, if he was a typical villainous cop, we’d cheer. Instead, we feel disgust.

Unlike Public Enemies, where two very different actors result in an oil-and-water combination, DeNiro and Pacino’s styles are perfect for their character. DeNiro’s subtle, intense acting is perfect for the cool pensive burglar, always plotting and always checking for the heat. Vincent Hanna has to ruffle feathers and make a scene to push his case forward—he’s damn close to a bully at times—so Pacino’s more flamboyant and showy style fits it to a T. The scene with Hank Azaria where he talks about Ashley Judd’s butt is now considered a Pacino scream classic, and can be found with ease on the Internet (along with his other scream classics, such as the monologue to Kevin Spacey in Glengarry Glen Ross, and his speech during Charlie’s trial in Scent of a Woman). DeNiro and Pacino only truly share one scene together, and for once, the meeting of two huge actors on screen isn’t disappointing. Their characters understand each other’s methods and respect them for it—you feel the scene could stand for a lunch between the two actors as well.

Despite its sizeable length at two hours and forty minutes, Mann keeps the intrigue high. There’s so much tension surrounding the proceedings and so many characters to care about that there isn’t a wasted minute. Mann isn’t known for delivering a short film, but to say he lacks ability in the editing room is simply false. If anything, he provides an underrated service—the character driven epic. His films don’t lack action (both the shootouts in Heat and Public Enemies are enormously entertaining, packed with mayhem and excellent sound), but he knows the real action is when two characters the audience cares about are sitting in a room discussing important life-changing occurrences, either past or to come. While most burglar plots are light, breezy fare nowadays (the Ocean’s 11 trilogy comes to mind), here is a film that captures the risk and reward—the life one can lead if successful, the preparations it takes to achieve that success, and the infinite number of ways in which any simple thing can bring your success to an end. Two men, equal foes, trapped in combat against one another: it’s the recurring Michael Mann theme. While Heat isn’t life-changing cinema, it’s a reminder that two movie stars having a coffee can be just as exciting as a gunfight if you give them both equal ground to stand on.

Navy Seals – Added To Collection Archive
While rescuing a naval helicopter crew, being held captive in a Middle Eastern seaport, an elite United States military commando team discovers a secret cache of American-made stinger missiles, yet inadvertently releases the terrorist leader.

Convinced if give another chance the Seal team can destroy the missles and neutralize the terrorist leader, the members are dispatched to Beiruit armed with new intellegence gathered from a beautiful news reporter. The team is then given once last chance to make amends for the previous mission’s failure, as well as a chance to eliminate a major terrorist threat to the world.

Soundtrack Listing:
“Tempt Me (If You Want To)”
Performed by Lisa Hartman

“Wounded Warrior“
Performed by Vicki Thomas

“Strike Like Lightning” (WMG Pulled)
Performed by Mr. Big

“The Boys Are Back in Town“
Performed by Bon Jovi

“Hangin’ on My Hip” (WMG Pulled)
Performed by Lou Gramm

“Shadows“
Performed by Mr. Big

“Try“
Performed by Blue Rodeo

“The Dragon“
Performed by Gowan

“Hardline“
Performed by Richie Havens

“I Don’t Want to Say Goodnight“
Produced and Performed by Planet 3