People are beginning to notice the weightloss, and my work trousers that were previously the victim of the dreaded muffin top are now baggy and can be pulled down without undoing the button. Great in theory however not so great when I have to hoik them up every 5 minutes!

Things are a little manic at the moment as I’m moving house on saturday, however on a side note, dragging heavy boxes around will do wonders for my exercise routine!

Dinner tonight was homemade burgers in wholemeal pitta (go me!) With sweet potato wedges and sweet corn. Delicious!

The last few weeks I’ve lost about 2 to 3lbs a week, I know this will slow down soon however right now im ecstatic and can feel a huge difference. Just the main thing I’m wondering…. Why didn’t I do this sooner?!

Well somehow I lost 4lb this week! And that is after going to the wedding last week and eating/drinking EVERYTHING I wanted. It was all so delicious! That as well as the McDonalds on Sunday. I’ll be honest I was hoping for a small loss this week, perhaps 0.5-1lb just so that i wouldn’t feel too bad about any I have put on over my slight binge, turns out something certainly kick started my weight loss again!

This morning I have broken another target. I am now UNDER, yes that right under, not spot on or over but rather UNDER 190lbs which was my next personal mini goal. 20lb loss in under 2 months is not bad going!

So this weight loss. Is it because of the ‘cheat day.’ Or perhaps it’s because of the 5 mile walks i’ve been doing every day as well as eating vegetarian food most of the week. Whatever the reason i’m chuffed!

On a side note, I have to share my breakfast with you as it was so delicious! egg white omlette with spinach, chorizo and light mozzerella. yum!

So what has happened recently…. Well for a start, I PASSED MY DISSERTATION! All the 4am stops at the library and my only culinary experiences from the vending machines were finally worth it. What does this teach you? 6 month’s work CAN be done in 3 weeks!

At the weekend we celebrated my partner’s sister’s wedding. It was beautiful and she looked stunning. 6 weeks of healthy eating were partially destroyed in 2 days. Well I say that but things weren’t really. For this weekend I ate what I wanted and drank what I wanted. I forgot how amazing pastry was! That with a large glass of vino means it was like a tiny party of calories happening in my mouth. Somehow I managed to only put on 1lb over the weekend, now the hard work starts to burn it all off….. We stayed in a beautiful hotel. (Carlyon bay hotel if anyone knows it.) And the food was divine. Also, they had an ice cream van there in the evening for the reception. Well I had to have one; it would have been rude not too! I’ve added 2 photos up from Saturday.

Icecream for the evening reception? Don’t mind if I do!

Yesterday was Cryste’s funeral. It’s been an emotional week or so and I admit that I am currently struggling with food. Right now I want convenience and grease and I know I will regret it. The funeral was amazing. There is no other word for it. She was brought in and followed by a procession of Harley Davidson’s, a hand painted casket, no black, we cried then laughed then cried again, and when the curtains closed we cheered out for her. She would have LOVED it. Yesterday was perfect and it summed her up amazingly as she was perfect.

So at the moment I have a thing for green tea, however unsure what to do with it appart from the tyical ‘drink it’ option. I feel I may give low fat green tea ice cream a go!

On a side note, the tofu seems to be back in my life…. I think I’m actually getting used to it, however don’t quote me on that one!

Last nights dinner consisted of chilli, lime and ginger mackerel with salad, stuffed peppers and asparagus just simply boiled.

Tonights dinner is cream cheese stuffed chicken in parma ham on a bed of asparagus risotto.

If nursing doesn’t work them I’m taking up professional eating!

On a plus note, somehow I managed to lose another 1lb this week. Quite surprised as my eating habits have been everywhere for the last week. This week WILL be better as I have an uber glam wedding to attend on saturday.

Dinner tonight was delicious, think I’ll have to get the boy to cook more often!

A simple piece of Cod loin, oven baked is apparently quite delicious. The chips were made by chopping up and part-boiling a few potatos then oven baking with fry light. Like Mini chip shaped roast potatos. The brocolli and dressing (I hate brocolli) is optional.

To make my boyfriend’s dinner a little more exciting I added breadcrumbs to his fish which was still only 400 calories for the whole plate. (He omitted the green stuff!)

I think this may be a Friday night regular!

I think this has been reflected in my food choices or at times, my choice to reject food completely. The thought of food recently hasn’t been a priority and I know this wil be a poor result on weigh day.

So, I’m going to get back on the horse and put the cake down! Today I have stopped snacking and getting back onto regular meals.

I know this week I will have a poor weigh in, however it’s time to start fresh and get back to the motivation I had before.

Just under 24 hours ago I had to say goodbye to my friend. Actually that is untrue, we were never given the chance to say goodbye as she was taken long before her time. It just seemed like a harmless bike ride.

She was the type of person who would light up a room a soon as she walked in. she was vivacious, charming, facetious, loveable and quite frankly perfect to pretty much everyone who met her. She had this fiery american spirit that grabbed life with both hands. “irresistable force, immovable object” was how she described herself and I would say that was pretty spot on.

When her husband walked in the house and confirmed our worst suspicions that we wished not to be true, I felt my heart drop. I know he will never see this blog however I hope he’s aware that we are here for him.

Sometimes the most loved are taken first, and its not fair. She had so much life and love in her, things now seem a little empty. For now, another angel has gained her wings.

I love you and miss you so much already. I’m proud to have called you my friend.

Sweet dreams.

Traditionally we all have a BBQ prior to Summer ball and this year was no different. I tried to be healthy and made burgers instead of buying ones full of fat, and eating half fat healthy living sausages. Unfortunately that’s where the healthyness stopped yesterday!

I don’t regret it at all as it was FABULOUS! By the end of the night after counting up all of my alcohol calories as well as the cheeky bite of kebab I had I was nearly 1000 calories over. OOPS. Looks like i’ll be swimming a lot this wee….

I’ve added some photos from me and the otherhalf last night.

An end to an era but a great way to see it out!

So I bought my dress about a month or so ago with great intentions.it was a little snug in places but I wanted it to fit just perfectly by this evening. Turns out all the hard work and depriving myself of pizza has paid off as it looks beautiful; if I do say so myself! Il post some photos up later of me and the boyfriend in our glad rags.

Can’t wait!

Flabelos supposedly helps to tone the muscles by using a vibrating plate. Although this isn’t exercise and I wouldn’t replace it with my normal exercise, I have to admit I am very tempted to give it a go! However, I keep having visions of my backside resembling something along the lines of someone poking jelly. Once it starts wobbing it won’t stop!

Hmmmm maybe I need to do some further research.

The first photo I have added is from when I started, weighing at 209lbs/94.8kg

The 2nd photo is from today, now 194lbs/87.9kg.

So it may not seem much and to be honest in the photos I personally can see no difference. I’ll add more photos when i’ve lost my next stone and hopefully will see a difference. On a plus note, although I may look no different, I can now walk the hill* outside my house without stopping for oxygen on route.

*By hill I actually mean gentle incline in the road…..

Seriously though, although it may be psychological, I feel AMAZING right now!

I lost 5lb this week! im now under 14 stone for the first time im ages!

This morning, as always, I jumped on the scales just to make sure all the healthy eating and exercise is pushing the numbers on the scales the right way. Downwards! I’ve now been on my healthy eating routine for 4 weeks and as of this morning I have lost 12 lbs. For any non Brits that is 5.4kg. I thought for all the sweating and depriving myself of the delicious food(aka pizza) then I would loose more than 12lb!

Turns out a way to cure my downhearted mood is just with a set of scales and far too many root vegetables! I’ve attached a photo showing 12 lbs in food. I even had to throw in some tins as I ran out of potatos! (must be time to go food shopping….)

And again….

(excuse the mess, I live with boys….)

So right now I’m feeling pretty good with myself and realised 12lb is a HUGE achievement considering its only been a month. Heres to the next month!

Turns out by throwing it in the oven and covering in copious amounts of mexican spices then it is finally edible…. I now present to you.. Mexican tofu on an avacado salad, and only 260 calories for the whole plate.

The main question, will I be buying it again? Not likely! I’d rather have a lump of meat on my plate!

After discussion with my mother on the phone this evening it has been decided that I need to re-evaluate my exercise routine. Running perhaps? Only problem being,I run like a duck on a frozen lake. Legs and arms flailing everywhere with an exasperated look on my face. Additionally to this, I have dresses where I have to wear spanx upon spanx so imagine how many sports bras would be needed!

Hmmm, maybe this needs to be thought about a little more….

So, anyway, I digress again. Here is what I have managed to do so far.

Spicy Tomato Tofu – 342 calories for the whole delicious plate!

Tofu 100g – 76calories.

Passata 50G – 16calories.

garlic granules – 9calories.

onion – 67 calories.

chilli flakes – 1calorie.

soy sauce – 10calories.

Brocolli 100g – 33calories.

rice 100g – 130 calories.

Spinach and Tofu curry. 631 calories including naan bread.

(turns out Tofu has the same consistancy and look of snot….)

onion – 67 calories.

rice 100g – 130 calories.

tesco light choices naan bread – 270calories.

tofu 50g – 38calories.

spinach 1/2 tin – 12 calories.

curry powder 1.5tbsp – 31calories.

half fat creme fraiche 45ml – 83 calories.

So here is my dilemma, what on earth do I do with the rest of this Tofu?! (sensible and stupid replies all considered…..)

0.5lb loss this week. That’s the equivalent of a sniff of a chocolate bar. Can’t even be bothered to log that one as it seems so insignificant. I suppose that is what happens when my diet consisted of little but red bull and chocolate from the library vending machines.

Here’s to next week!

Study munchies….

Urban dictionary (2012) ‘when you have to study (for a test, quiz, etc.) and you cannot stop eating useless junk even though you’re not hungry purely to entertain yourself while you study’ Cited from a highly  accredited web resource, accessed the day I begin to have my life back. (Dissertation deadline…..)

So the last few days my diet and lifestyle has manly consisted of chocolate and relentless energy drinks, and I’m pretty sure this is the only thing that has sustained me! Now if you don’t know what Relentless is then think how red bull the energy drink ‘gives you wings.’ Well Relentless will make you feel like you are a space rocket, never mind the wings…. Fantastic seeing as i’ve spent approximately 32 out of the last 48 hours in the library, although I was beginning to regret drinking 3 cans in a row at 5am this morning, although my laptop screen was focused and I was typing at the speed of no one’s business, I couldn’t sit still for more than a few minutes, big mistake when dissertation deadline was looming.

Why is it when in the library, the only thing you can think of is ‘what can i eat next?’ unfortunately as the venue machines were my only chance of anything with slightly more nutrition value than paper, (i say slightly, although highly debateable!) dinner consisted of an entire share size bag of chocolate caramel biscuits, not quite the al la carte menu I hoped for but beggers can’t be chosers! By the way, I felt no remorse whatsoever about eating them all. I say this now, i’ll be in tears when it comes to weigh day!

So although my diet of sugar and more sugar has kept me going for the last few days, i now feel sluggish and in need a good swim and a session of boxercise. (3 weeks ago I would have ran away if someone suggested this!) Problem being I can’t see way of bouncing around the room seeing as it’s still covered in a mountain of paperwork!

On a side note, if stress burns calories then right now I should be a supermodel!

Now,I am NOT a fan of self humilitation, however I AM a fan of self motivation. So here goes. I’m going to be brave and post a photo of me just before I started this new ‘healthy lifestyle.’ Please be kind, i’m at my heaviest ever. When I have managed to shake off another 10lbs i’ll add photos for comparison.(ps- apologises for the bulldog-chewing-a-wasp-face! I was struggling with technology, as always!)

Seeing these photos have shocked me slightly, as just 2 years ago I looked like this….

Only joking, here is something slightly more believable, and ACTUALLY me from 2 years ago.

Althought not the most flattering photo in the world, and i’m not the skinniest and most toned person ever, however i was happy, as in genuinely happy in myself. It’ something to aim for.

Keep wishing me luck people!

So my blogs seem to be few and far between at the moment, i’m still blaming it on my ever increasing university workload. Who knew you couldn’t write the majority of your dissertation in the last few weeks! OOPS! This is turn with the fact i’ve had a horrible weekend in my personal life means i’ve wanted to eat pretty much anything that stands still long enough. Needless to say I won’t be surprised if the scales haven’t moved tomorrow…. Well here’s to miracles!

So even though I haven’t blogged, I have still been keeping up with the exercise routines, I’m glad to report that Davina and I have made up and I can NEARLY get through a whole DVD without feeling I’m having a heart attack. I say nearly as there is still that point where she asks me to kick my leg up that I start having second thoughts, There is no way anyone can do that surely?! Completely unnatural! Swimming is still twice weekly and never thought I would admit it but somehow I actually enjoy it right now, No longer feeling conscious of being a hippo in lycra and any subconscious worries about all the water escaping when I get in have finally disappeared. Although things I have learnt this week. Free student swim is a NIGHTMARE! Swimming is impossible so instead, most people just took to bobbing in the water. Looking in from the observation point it must have looked like a scene from the titanic. Note to self, NEVER GO TO FREE SWIM WITH STUDENTS! The first sign of something for nothing and they are there, like bees to honey!

Now as you may have guessed, I have a great dislike for many students and the stereotypes that have no problem living up too, however the one stereotype I don’t have a problem whatsoever with is the ‘socialising.’ I don’t think I have introduced you to a close friend of mine. How rude. Let me introduce you to Mr. Pinot Grigio! PG and I have spent many years in each other’s company and it’s a strong bond of a friendship. (Well until the bottle is empty that is…..) Since I’ve been on the rabbit food diet I have had to cut ties with the vino and until last night I hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol. (I’d like to clarify, I make jokes, however I am not an alcoholic and I in fact very rarely drink.) So what do you do when your favourite beverage is too high in calories and you must substitute? With the assistance of Google I found Vodka lime and soda, and a new relationship was formed.

Of course, this all seemed great in theory till I realised I had a swim session booked at 0830, owww my head!

Let’s hope it will be worth it in the end!

Can I have cake yet?!

Now you are probably reading this thinking what on earth is she on about this time! As to the usual of, it must be the starvation mode going to her head again! But anyway, stick with me.

Now in my eyes, pain and torture in itself really is giving up that last bit of bacon or hash brown that you’ve saved to the end of your fry up so you can really enjoy it, until this little voice pops up, ‘Are you leaving that?’ OF COURSE I’M NOT LEAVING IT, MY FORK IS STILL EMBEDDED INTO IT! So, imagine the heartbreak I felt today when my boyfriend with all his good intentions bought me the most delicious looking fry up when we were out for lunch today. (Take into consideration this fry up was from a chain establishment that we may know for it’s cheap food and even cheaper beer , therefore my taste buds have obviously altered and I’m craving something so dirty and greasy that even this looks like an improvement!) Now there is nothing more tempting than a plate filled with carbohydrates, grease and protein (the main food groups of course!) that would have me straying away from the diet that for the last 2 weeks I have worked so hard on, imagine the pain I felt when all the delicious deep fried, battered, mouthwatering food was passed onto my partners plate. I have to admit, baked beans and grilled sausage don’t quite have the same appeal! Perhaps it was all a ploy on his behalf…….. Hmmmm, should have challenged him earlier.

So this got me wondering. Is dieting the new form of fetish and sadomasochism? We inflict the pain upon ourselves by depriving our bodies and cravings of the things we would usually cry out for, and for what? The hopeful rewards we will receive by our new healthy physiques? I’m sure a normal person would just claim this is nothing more than positive reinforcement.

So if this is the new form of fetish, I think I’ll pass and just stick to watching another rerun of Nurse Jackie on TV!

So once again the monotonous task of breakfast begins, or as I like to call it, thinking time at the zoo. Although this morning, my organic oat cakes were sauced up a little with light mayonaise. Completely unadulterated I know! Surely there must be something a little more tantalising to my tastebuds than oat so simple, yoghurt or eggs and soldiers. (minus that soldiers that is, so pretty much just eggs!) So it got me thinking, what food do I really really want that SHOULD be calorie free? So far i’ve come up with the following;

1) Wine – technically not a food seeing as it is of the liquid variety, however it does contain grapes, therefore obviously one of your five a day!

2) Chocolate – As recently read in the Guardian newspaper, chocolate is now GOOD for you! I don’t know how nor do I care much for the details however this tiny piece of information has revolutionised my thoughts on dieting!

3) Cider – see point 1 except substitute grapes for cider.

4) chips – potatos are vegetables, say no more!

I’ll try to come back to this. I’m pretty sure I was distracted mid way through this important process.

However on a side note, when I got in the car earlier, I was greeted by my partners 3 year old. ‘Kerry, How was the Davina DVD?’ (Of course, not quite so eloquently put, however still understood!) Turns out my achey joints are a laughing point for everyone except me, pre schoolers included!