• Yay….Jedward have gone…and give them credit …they lads took it with dignity…but at the end of the day…Louis chose a crap song that left them wide open…previous songs have been so pacy it masked their crapness. No Matter What is a ballad and they were unmasked at last
  

Before all the burning questions could be answered and the remaining finalists could find out if their dreams were to continue there was the weekly group performance to tackle. Wake Me Up Before You Go Go was the high-energy number chosen to kick off proceedings… and what a way to start! The final six, more than aware that his could be one of their last appearances on the hallowed X Factor stage, bounced along to the Wham! Classic in their 80s-tastic white and neon outfits like there was no tomorrow. Next we were treated to a performance from another talent show success story in the familiar form of Susan Boyle. Her stirring rendition of The Rolling Stone’s Wild Horses was followed by a standing ovation from the panel and the entire audience. Once Dermot could be heard it was time to anounce the appearance of one of the greatest female singers of all time and for the audience to go wild once again for Mariah Carey. The curvaceous diva performed her unique vocal gymnastics on the classic love ballad I Want To Know What Love Is. Finally, it was the moment we’d all been waiting for. It was time for the finalists to line up and hear their fate. With fewer names to read out the wait between each seemed endless, until the unlucky two that would be singing for survival were announced… John and Edward and to everyone’s clear surprise, Olly Murs. Singing for survival for the third time in a row the twins sang a heartfelt, if off-key, version of Boyzone’s No Matter What, followed by Olly singing You Look Wonderful Tonight. Next, it was back to the judges to give their verdicts and once Simon, Cheryl and Louis had given theirs, one more vote for Olly would mean deadlock once again. Unfortunately for the twins Dannii just wasn’t won over by their charms and John and Edward were the seventh act leaving the competition.

More X Factor

Mariah Carey Spent all this…and then mimed on the X Factor…Which is supposed to be a show all about live singing

Mariah Carey spends four days in London… and £750,000

Mariah Carey’s four-night trip to London last week is said to have cost £750,000 – lavish even by her standards. The bill included first-class flights for the 40-year-old singer,  £200,000 for bedrooms on the entire top floor of The Dorchester and £12,000 to hire a Rolls-Royce and a Bentley. Topping it all was a bash at Jalouse nightclub in Mayfair on Thursday to promote her new album Memoirs Of An Imperfect Angel.

Guests drank £1,200-a-bottle champagne while watching her music videos on a big screen. ‘Mariah wanted a VIP area complete with white flowers, cupcakes, a white carpet and an £85,000 diamond-encrusted ice bucket,’ says a minion. ‘There was £250,000 worth of Angel champagne on the tables.’…No matter how rich….I find this very distasteful

Stories like the one below make the Maria story even more disgusting

Just five bullets for each soldier: Iraq inquiry leak reveals how British troops went in woefully unprepared

British military operations in Iraq were so badly resourced that some soldiers went into battle with only five bullets each, secret documents have revealed. Troops were put at ’significant risk’ on the front line as they struggled with an ‘appalling’ shortage of rounds, and radios which collapsed in the heat. The kit revelations are among the most shocking contained in hundreds of pages of classified papers leaked in advance of Sir John Chilcot’s inquiry into the Iraq war, which begins on Tuesday.

Leaked Iraq inquiry documents revealed British soldiers had just five rounds of ammunition and insufficient body armour

The reports also suggest that Tony Blair misled MPs and the public in the run-up to the invasion. And they provide damning evidence of Britain’s failure to prepare for the rebuilding and reconstruction of Iraq after the toppling of Saddam Hussein. Incredibly, the Foreign Office unit tasked with planning the post-war country was not established until February 2003 – three weeks before the war started.

The details were contained in two ‘overall lessons learnt’ reports and classified transcripts of one-to-one interviews between military commanders returning from the warzone and Ministry of Defence officials. The documents raise serious questions over Labour’s failure properly to equip soldiers heading for the conflict because of the then Prime Minister’s desperate desire to conceal plans to invade Iraq from a sceptical public. Troops were put at ’significant risk’ during the war because they were ‘lacking in resources’, according to one paper. It said: ‘There were significant shortcomings… critical stores and equipment did not arrive in time. ‘There were significant shortages of small arms ammunition in some units as they began operations. All this represented significant risk.’ One commanding officer, Lieutenant Colonel M.L. Dunn of 9 Supply Regiment, Royal Engineers, said soldiers going into action ‘only had five rounds of ammunition each, and only enough body armour for those in the front and rear vehicles’.

The main ‘lessons learnt’ report concluded: ‘Never again must we send ill-equipped soldiers into battle.’ Some Royal Marines from the crack 3 Commando Brigade were deployed to war on normal civilian airlines, taking their battlefield equipment as hand luggage. Astonishingly, some heroes had ‘dangerous’ items, including weapons, nail scissors, lighters and penknives, confiscated by officious airport security staff. Commanders also suffered shortages of light machine guns, armoured tanks and equipment. Tanks had only six hours of protection against chemical and biological weapons. Only 10 per cent of the Army’s vehicles were fitted with decontamination systems to safeguard against such weapons. Morphine was also ‘not available to scale’ which meant some injured soldiers could have suffered unnecessarily. There were also shortages of body armour and desert boots. Communications equipment was plagued by ‘very serious’ difficulties. One commander said the long-distance Ptarmigan radio ‘tended to drop out at around noon because of the heat’. The reports reveal that orders for kit ‘were placed with factories too late for equipment to reach the front line in time’. This life-threatening error came about because then Chancellor Gordon Brown had ordered the Ministry of Defence to reduce stockpiles of weapons and hardware ‘to achieve cash savings’. Training was also short-circuited. The documents say there was ‘very little time’ for in-theatre preparation, which allows troops to grow used to climate, terrain and culture in a foreign land. Shadow Defence Secretary Dr Liam Fox said: ‘The accusation that British troops may have died because equipment was not ordered as part of a deliberate political act of deception is one of the most serious charges that could ever be levelled against a Prime Minister and his government. ‘It is essential that the Iraq inquiry uncovers the truth.’ Liberal Democrat foreign affairs spokesman Ed Davey said: ‘It now seems Tony Blair misled Parliament about the Iraq war from the very start. ‘These revelations that Blair ordered a secret preparation for war shows an appalling level of incompetence not previously known. As his orders were so secret too few people were able to begin to adequately prepare.’ Sir John Chilcot warned that no one should attempt to lie to his inquiry, which will begin examining its first witnesses in public tomorrow. Tony Blair is expected to be called, but not for many months. Sir John said: ‘Because we have so much documentary evidence, a witness who sought to hold something back or misdescribe something would be on a loser because we already have all the factual underpinning.’

Blair’s war denials held back kit supplies

Britain had been planning the military mission in Iraq since February 2002 – despite Tony Blair’s repeated insistence that conflict was not being considered. The leaked documents appear to confirm that the then Prime Minister misled MPs and the public about the UK’s readiness for going to war. The need to conceal these plans from Parliament and all but ‘very small numbers’ of officials hindered planning for the invasion.

Consequently, this was ‘rushed’ and ‘lacking in coherence and resources’ which caused ’significant risk’ to troops. During most of 2002, Mr Blair stuck to the line that while military action against Iraq could not be ruled out, no decisions had been made and no preparations for an invasion had been put in place. On July 16, 2002, he was asked by Labour MP Donald Anderson, then chairman of the Commons foreign affairs committee, if Britain was ‘preparing for possible military action in Iraq’. ‘No,’ Mr Blair replied. ‘There are no decisions which have been taken about military action.’ Two months later he published a dossier which wrongly detailed Iraq’s ability to deploy weapons of mass destruction, but said: ‘In respect of any military options, we are not at the stage of deciding those options.’ But actually, according to the secret papers, ‘formation-level planning for a deployment took place from February 2002′ – 13 months before the invasion. And in June 2002, the UK attended a special Iraq planning conference on the war with the U.S. and the other coalition partner Australia. Mr Blair’s desire to keep this secret meant that military equipment could not be ordered and reconstruction planning begun until December 23, 2002 – a matter of weeks before operations started. Because of this, the documents state, ‘the planning and preparation for this operation was more rushed than should have been the case’.

But At Least 10 Guys Were Definately Not Firing Blanks

Ten pregnant soldiers sent home from Afghanistan after breaking ‘no sex’ rule

A hundred pregnancy testing kits rushed out to Afghan frontline as pregnancy rate among soldiers doubles

Ten servicewomen have been flown home from Afghanistan after falling pregnant. The women were evacuated under strict military rules which bar expectant mothers from frontline service. There is a strict “no-touching” rule which all 700 women and 8,500 men serving in the warzone are warned of on arrival. Those caught having sex usually face a dressing down from their commanding officer or more serious disciplinary action, depending on the rank and position of those involved. Army sources say that since April, women squaddies have asked for more than 100 pregnancy test kits and 10 came out positive – double the number of the previous six months Last night our source said: “The troops have been joking,  saying that maybe it’s something in the water.” Having “significant” numbers of women serving alongside men has been a new phenomenon for the British Army during the conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan. No women served on the frontline during the Falklands or Korean wars. Although women are banned from frontline infantry regiments, many combat units have female medics or doctors who will go out on patrol or be flown to the scene of an injury and they have often ended up in firefights. Women also serve in significant numbers in the Royal Logistics Corps supplying frontline bases with food, water and ammunition. Last night former Army commander Lieutenant Colonel Robin Matthews said: “You now have large numbers of women serving on the modern-day battlefield in a way that is entirely new in our military history. “Together, both servicemen and women face an uncertain future and, as those bonds of war strengthen, inevitably relationships will develop. “It’s a fact that commanders are steadily learning how to deal with it effectively and they have a Code of Conduct to guide them. Women play a vital role in the Armed Forces and they are certainly here to stay. “Incidents will occur, but their overall effect is minimal. Isolated together in intense circumstances when the next day you could be dead, these figures should not be a surprise. “Perhaps what is shows above all else is that our brave men and women facing the Taliban are really very human.” Surprisingly, those women who do become pregnant while on operations are not held in breach of rules. Our source said: “Pregnant troops are sent home for their own welfare and that of an unborn child. Although they may have broken the ‘no- touching’ rule, little would be achieved by disciplining them.” An MoD spokesman confirmed: “Between April 31 and October 31 this year 10 female service personnel were aero-medically evacuated from Afghanistan because they were pregnant.” The spokesman added: “All personnel are expected to behave within the code of conduct. “If women discover they are pregnant they are returned to the UK at the first opportunity for their own well-being.”

Demi Moore in airbrushing controversy after magazine erases chunk of her hip on cover.

When Demi Moore appeared on the December cover of W magazine, she drew admiring glances for her slender figure and flawless skin. But while most readers are used to a little airbrushing and touch-up on the covers, it appears the 47-year-old has fallen foul of an over-enthusiastic Photoshopper. A chunk of her thigh appears to have been digitally removed from the cover between her hip bone and a casually draped sarong.

There is a good chunk missing from what was her left thigh (our right). Underneath the sarong, the thigh continues but appears to be bulging out an inch more than the photoshopped area.

The mistake was pointed out by eagle-eye commentators and has been the subject of hot discussion on the internet. According to Jezebel.com, W magazine claimed any retouching was done in-house by the staff of photographers Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott. And a spokesperson added the photographers ‘did not do anything unusual or out of the ordinary on Demi Moore for the photo on the cover of W. ‘Demi is an extraordinary beautiful woman and we feel our cover reflects that.’ The actress, who is wearing a Balmain metal mesh and leather dress, was labelled a Demi Goddess in the accompanying article. And, as many internet bloggers and commentators have pointed out, Demi looks so slender on the red carpet that there has been speculation that she had gone under the knife. So why the designers cut out a section of her hip remains a mystery.

Customers furious as water firms rake in £700million

Fat cat water companies will provoke renewed fury when they announce their bumper profits on the back of sky-high bills. Four of Britain’s biggest suppliers – with nearly 19 million customers between them – have made half-year profits totalling over £700million. In April, typical household bills shot up 4.1 per cent to £344 a year. But industry bosses still want bills to rise by an average £31 before inflation over the next five years. Consumer watchdogs and unions have attacked the proposed price rises and say suppliers should be forced to hand back “excessive” profits in the form of lower  charges.

Dave Thompson, of the Consumer Council for Water, said: “We think there should be price cuts.” And Dave Prentis of Unison said: “It is disgusting that we are being asked to pay more when these companies are making massive profits.” But water bosses say they need  billions to replace old pipes, maintain sewers and improve water quality. On Thursday, regulator Ofwat is expected to demand price caps until 2015.

I have been keeping a journal since I learned to write in complete sentences. This is the very first one. It was a Christmas gift from my parents in 1993. Judging from the cover, it’s pretty obvious that my mom picked it out.

I lost the key a long time ago, but the lock also broke.

As you can see, I decided the inside cover would be a good place to practice my fancy “y.”

Translation: “Today I played dollhouse with my sister and next-door neighbor. My grandma and grandpa came over and we had pita for dinner. After dinner I helped my dad and brother.”  (Apparently, I thought the letter u made an “uh” sound. As a result, I refer to my grandparents throughout this whole journal as “gramu” and “grapu.” Also, “pita” is a reference to a Macedonian dish that is famous in my family. It’s essentially layers of puff pastry with either meat or cottage cheese filling.)

Translation: “I can’t wait until Christmas! I want a boom box, the twin dolls and those are the two things I want the most. Today my sister went shopping with her friend while I stayed home and drew and when my sister came home she brought candy that we could share. And she also brought new shoes for her. And I got crayons and colored pencils for school. And that’s about all that happened so far. So bye-bye for now.  The end. Madeline R Stevens.”

This was my summer’s big project: to create and make a sunny, fresh and colorful dress! I really enjoy doing everything myself, from A to Z, just as it was the case here…

It all started when I came upon the two very nice fabrics that inspired me. Then I worked with a ready-to-use pattern that I modified a little. It wasn’t easy for me to get through the sewing part, but it’s so gratifying when everything comes to be what you expected! I can say the result was worth being patient and meticulous, as my beloved Granny taught me…

Then it was very good luck for me to meet beautiful Karoline… From the moment I saw her I knew she would be perfect wearing my dress! She’s such an adorable, very sweet girl, so pretty with her long perfect hair… And we had a good time together during the photo session, it was so much fun! Here are my fave snaps, the ones I picked out from my portfolio…

Thanks girl, you’re a great model!

I didn’t like Twilight. Either the book or the movie. I found both terribly repetative and dull. So it was with some trepidation that I went along to see the second movie in the series, New Moon, tonight.

Putting my cards on the table straight away, I didn’t hate it and I don’t think it’s the worst movie ever made, which was a serious concern as the lights went down, but in the minutes since the movie finished, I’ve been trying to put my finger on what exactly I didn’t like about it.

I didn’t mind Robert Pattinson. In fact, I thought he was pretty good. No surprise there, as he was also pretty good in the first movie. He does an excellent American accent and even manages to laugh and sigh convincingly. So even though he whispers a bit too much for my liking, he’s off the hook.

I didn’t mind Taylor Lautner and his ridiculously buff torso that dominated large sections of the movie. I fully expect him to win a WWE belt before he picks up an Oscar, but he was a more than decent support and that big, thick neck of his scored highly from a curiosity point of view. Even if none of this was the case, his character of Jacob is also more interesting than Edward so on that controversial note, he’s off the hook.

I didn’t mind how it was shot. The movie is lovely to look at and the drained palette that’s used in the Forks sections gives it a detached, disaffected, grungy feel which was an interest in itself and worked even more retrospectively when the contrast of a vibrant, primary-coloured Italy pops up towards the end. It’s like when the colour kicks in during Wizard of Oz. Cinematographer is off the hook.

And I didn’t even mind the terrible CGI wolves. Honestly, the first time one appears, I wasn’t sure if it was an alsation, Bungle Boggs from Rainbow or a beefed-up Ewok. They get better as the movie progresses so amnesty on the stupid Ewok things.

It’s her. It’s Kristen Stewart who plays Bella. She’s pretty enough without being distractingly so but she’s the problem and unfortunately she’s in pretty much every shot. I don’t think she’s a good actress. I didn’t find her engaging, sympathetic or believable and, if anything, I found her a bit of a relentless sour puss. I had the same problem with her in the first movie and, to some extent, her character in general in the book so some of this problem is shared with the source material, I’m sure, but apart from one excellent scene where a camera revolves round her as the months roll by, she just didn’t sell it to me and I’m starting to reach for adjectives like repetative and dull again. I mean, Alan Rickman has been miserable for most of his career, but he does it with a certain pinache.

And she sulks an awful lot. When she’s not sulking, she’s grumpy. And when it looks like she’s about to cheer up a bit — oops-a-daisy — she’s dumped again and it’s hello, Mrs Rainy Cloud. Credit where it’s due, though — she’s totally unflappable when people she’d previously assumed to be human turn out to be anything but. Vampires, check. Werewolves, no problem. In the eventual third movie, if she finds herself strangely drawn to the new guy at school who has inexplicably bandaged hands, I’m sure she’ll cope admirably when, at the dramatic end of the movie’s second act, he reveals himself to be a Mummy.

I fully appreciate I’m in a minority on this. The makers have thrown enough movie at the franchise that they must be happy with Ms Stewart in the role, the cinema was packed with people who were equally happy and the general consensus on the way out was that it was a favourable way to spend a couple of hours and they can’t wait to do it all again next year. I might just sulk in a corner and wait for the DVD.

The last week has been grind-tastic, with both PvP and questing. I wasn’t on too long on Tuesday, but I got into VoA 25/10 runs and nothing dropped. Unsurprising. Later in the night, I did some 2s and 3s, ending the night 40 points lower in 2s, and 40 points higher in 3s. “Win some, lose some” would be the perfect phrase to describe that night.

Wednesday was ToC 25 day, but things didn’t go quite as smoothly this week. According to a guildie watching trade chat, a lot of other PuGs had already formed that night, and it showed. I had a few from weeks prior show up, but it took twice as long as usual to get the group together. Then, after two-shotting the Beasts and one-shotting Jaraxxus, a druid healer left without any notice. Great. We ended up having to 24-man both the Champions and the Twins, who mercifully went down in one try each. But, without a full raid, and with DPS for the evening subpar, Anub’arak was way out of our grasp. We wiped it up twice without ever seeing phase three, and called it for the night. It was a dissapointment to say the least, and I was bitter about the loss that night. Why people join raids when they don’t intend to stick them out is something I’ve never understood. Even then, if someone has to leave it doesn’t hurt to give a heads-up in vent or raid chat. With Thanksgiving break coming up, I don’t know if we’ll be hitting up ToC next week, meaning that downing Anub is that much more distant. Argh.

Thursday I actually got the achievement for 2000 quests completed. Yikes. I’ve been going through and doing everything in Icecrown, both to see how things unfold before the attack on Icecrown Citadel, and for the gold. The quests that put you in Arthas’ shoes were highpoints; what other quest chain starts by dropping you into a seemingly-bottomless abyss? For fun, I also decided to check out the Deadmines. I’d read online that the Alliance had a cool quest chain leading up to it, and that it was a good instance as well. I think that it would’ve been pretty cool to run through if I was the right level for it, and it was surprisingly large. All I could think of was how Horde got Ragefire Chasm instead… lame.

On Friday, I sat down and finally, finally got the last of the PvP mounts. While my guildies were turning in marks for honor, I’d been dutifully saving them, since honor is onetime, but man, mounts are forever. At least, that’s what I had to keep telling myself. After the BG grind (and believe me, those last marks were a grind), I settled down with a warrior friend for some 2s skirmish. We didn’t get too far, but it was still a pretty good time, and a big departure from my usual 2s comp. The matches were quick, too, something that usually can’t always be said when I end up doing 2s.

Yesterday, the questing and arena-ing continued. To my surprise, we hit 1550 in 3s with a sprint in rating from 1440 to a peak at around 1570. We fell down back to around 1480 just as quickly, but it was cool to see happen. Afterwards, I put in some 2s matches to get up past 1550 yet again, all the while questing in between matches. Through the day, I also found some time to fish up some mats for feasts, and run a guildie through Scarlet Monastery. It’s been a busy few days in WoW, and I don’t see that pace dropping anytime soon.

Yesterday I visited the newly expanded Ashmolean Museum of Art and Archaeology in Oxford. It has had over £61 million pounds spent on it using a new design strategy referred to as ‘Crossing Cultures Crossing Time’ which

‘is an approach based on the idea that civilisations that have shaped our modern societies developed as part of an interrelated world culture, rather than in isolation. It assumes, too, that every object has a story to tell, but these stories can best be uncovered by making appropriate comparisons and connections, tracing the journey of ideas and influences through the centuries and across continents.’

This seems like a reasonable premise for the design of museum showing many cultural objects from across space and through time, obviously Rick Mather has been reading his Deleuze and Guattari and rather liked their rhizome. However, in practice rather than showing the interconnectedness of the material culture of the world it creates a rambling  journey of disjointed assemblages, one can easily become disorientated. Some parts of the Museum themselves, whilst having great collections of ’stuff’, are more like alleyways than exhibition spaces and act to channel people along rather than letting you stop and look at the artefacts, we decided it was an experience not unlike visiting an Ikea store. But at least Ikea looks like a finished product, almost every room in the Ashmolean had a display which either was empty, had an object still sitting in it’s polystyrene packing, or having no information panel, granted it hasn’t had it’s official opening yet but this makes it look scrappy and uncared for. There are also strange design features, windows that disappear round corners, small openings one could almost squeeze through and open doorways that lead to small empty rooms.

However the actual things in the Museum are great, and many and the new extension has enabled more of the permanent collection to be on show which can only be a good thing. It’s just a shame the museum isn’t easier to navigate, maybe if I’d planned the route beforehand and maybe followed it via OpenStreetMap on my phone things would have been clearer but there wasn’t a signal in there and I don’t like to have to make a plan of attack in a museum, which maybe a fault of my own but I’m probably not alone.

Hi, it’s Rosie here.  We are STILL behind on our reasons, so my Dad is making me do some. Let’s see if I can bother him as much as he bothers me (have you seen reason #79!?)

Reason # 70: Having a sign on my bedroom door that says, “DO NOT ENTER! And don’t wake me up before 7:00 either, or I’ll eat you!”

Reason # 69: My new school, where I won’t be the only kid standing outside for the NA (national anthem).

Reason # 68: Having an iPig! Squeal!!!!! (If you want to know what that is, which you probably do, google image it. It’s an iPod docking station that looks like a pig)

Reason # 67: Earning money from my own paper route. That equals more clothes.

Reason # 66: Having a specific day when I cook dinner (in our fabulous kitchen), because I have a million things I want to make but refuse to because (1) I have to clean up after myself and that’s impossible in this kitchen and (2) it’s impossible to make anything in this kitchen without first dropping five things, moving seventeen things off the stove, countertop, etc., etc., and saying something like “Oh man!” fifty times. And yet my Mum rarely does any of those things, except maybe moving seventeen things.

Reason # 65: Having a ’secret clubhouse’ under the stairs in the basement which is about the size of George’s  room, so quite big.

Reason # 64: Playing my music so loud on my iPig that my Dad will tear his hair out! Yay!

Sunday 22^nd November 2009

Normally on a Sunday I like to get out on my bike and go for a ride around the dales, 30-60 miles or so. However today, I didn’t feel like it. Now you may sit there thinking, shame on you! Why didn’t you do that?

Well I didn’t feel like it, the weather was chillier than it has been recently, and I thought, well I should really get on with some work, seeing as I didn’t get on with any the day before. So I stayed in, and actually worked, in my nicely hovered, dusted and generally tidy room. The most amazing things here being that my room was tidy and I actually achieved something today.

I managed to look for some more Radio Courses on the UCAS website, I made improvements to my Personal Statement and sent of an important E-mail, so for once I felt good and I am now relaxing with guilty free conscience this evening for once.

The thing is what I’m wondering is can I repeat this good form tomorrow, the day after tomorrow and so on and so forth, because my problem is this. I am not a very motivated person at the moment towards my course. I spend too many days sitting wasting the time away, however I need to get my arse into gear so that I can pass the course well and have good options for what to do in less than a years time.

Anyway we’ll see if I do some more good work tomorrow. This evening has been good as well. I’ve made my sandwiches for tomorrow lunchtime at college, I’ve scanned and named a few photos and I’ve now written in my diary/blogg. I will have to try and make everyday as successful as this.

It is last Friday evening and I convince my boyfriend Chris to take me for a walk in the dark and cold of Lancaster city.

Lancaster train station - the scene of the minor incident

The weather is awful and it’s nine in the evening so most people who are out are starting to get lairy and demand McDonalds or they are aiming for one of the five or six student clubs in the town. The rain hits the cobblestones and the leaves are sticking to the pavements, making the paths treacherous for the people in short skirts and high heels. But it feels good to be out.

We walk and we walk and I eventually start to forget the irks of the working week. My job pays me. I’m learning how to write web pages and I’m writing pages for newspapers each week. I’m not starving. My frustration starts to collapse under its own weight. Not that it won’t be back again tomorrow.

At the far end of the road, on the way back to our house, I hear a shout and see a large shape silhouetted by the headlights of a taxi. In the middle of the road a man is lying on his back, barely moving.

The traffic comes to a halt and I pace into the middle of the street. This man, probably about 35, is rolling slightly, trying to get up and failing.

There’s another girl next to me. A student with a neat parka and a woollen beret on –she looks horrified and must disappear because by the time me and Chris have supported the drunk man to the side of the road, in a pretty dangerous, weaving manner, she’s gone and we are left with an intoxicated Caribbean man who can’t walk but is managing to cling onto a carrier bag with six cans of seven per cent paint stripper. He has a cut oozing blood above his right eye. If I let go of his arm, even for a second, he starts to topple back into the road.

This was two nights ago but I need time to write the rest so I’ll finish it tomorrow.

Berjalan ku di atas bayangku
menatap ke belakang menghantuiku
ke depanpun menusukku
tanpa harapan
ia pergi

Satu hawa mengganggu inderaku
menanam harapan baru
cinta.,tanpa nafsu
ia bunga tidurku
hanya temani mimpi

Namun
pedang bibirmu itu..
Telah menusuk dalam hatiku
harapanku pergi kembali
kembali ku berjalan
di atas bayanganku…
Sendiri…

Today I visited the Cathedral.

• I got a plan of the interior, checked the architecture and characteristics.
• I made contact with volunteers on the site.

Been in somewhat of a bad mood today then I went over to Elle to brighten my spirits – though I saw this in the book it still brought me joy

AND I’ve been fighting with myself – kind of want to cut all of my hair off again.

Before the cut

After the Cut

Over the cut/now

Soo…yes, of course I want to cut it off again…maybe keep it longer in the front – get a white blonde streak…something I’M BORED with this hair. I don’t know, I guess I’ll grapple with it a bit longer. I know this blog is pretty new and I may be talking to myself here but what do you think? Should I cut or keep the hair? (I did get 85 random views yesterday so someone somewhere is seeing this)

Let me know…It’ll make my day.

I’m off to another basketball game. Hope to see some friendly faces because I could use them right now.

–_– Later days

Bella

Oh and listening to

Ha…brings me joy

Yeah…basketball. I actually get excited when college basketball season starts. Don’t care too much about the sport, probably will not go to many games once I graduate but I enjoy going to my school’s games… getting together with friends, cheering, the whole nine. (when I’m in the mood anyway).  I was actually my school’s mascot (a huge St Bernard name Halo) for a whole ten minutes yesterday. It was a hot grueling experience and I gave up, maybe I’ll try again…I’ll post pics as soon as I get them from various people. It was rather hillarious, quite gross – really hot, smelly, hard to breathe but it was one of those “what the hell” moments where I’d do almost anything new for a laugh….and a lesson learned.

Well – during the game…don’t worry it had not started we actually pay attention

cheerleaders sat to wath the dance team (not even half of them were there)

Then there was an alumni game

ps…I was the mascot about twenty minutes before I took this photo

After the game a few friends and I traveled to Michael’s house to pay him a visit (he’s out of the hospital now) and Vanessa (the roomie) made him brownies.  Did not take any photos but I did catch this on the way back. While I usually do not do this (its kind of mean) I have NEVER seen anything like this so I had to. Forces of the universe begged of it.

1. She’s original. She is her own person, you can’t measure her with the measure for every other girl in the world, that’s just impossible.
2. She is insightful. On people, on situations.
3. She does her homework in dealing with people, checking background and use all means to gain insight on the person.
4. She is influential in so many good ways.
5. She appreciate beauties.
6. She is so smart and wise, she’s able to comprehend the big picture in the midst of raging storm.
7. She oozes compassion from her pores.
8. She sincerely and genuinely cares about so many people at once, it’s just crazy how she can spread herself just nicely.
9. She’s always the brighter part of my day.
10. She gains such great insights from the most simple things we usually missed out.
11. She feels people and able to give the vibration of acceptance.
12. She loves her God, and God visibly loves her and pushes her to grow.
13. She is ridiculously creative. She creates things in her mind, and then ‘poof’, nothing becomes something. The very thing that grown-ups cease to have.
14. She’s one of the most encouraging person i know.
15. She’s very brave, she’s not afraid to feel and go to the vulnerable places and to entangle herself with things uncertain for the greater good.

To you: You know i love you and wish you all the good things in the world. You’re a gem! *wink*

Today I started a research on the Cathedral and its history. I found out that St Giles’ is considered as birthplace of world’s Presbyterianism and the most important site of Scottish Reformation. Some of the interesting stories about the Cathedral:

• Gothic church considered to burn down around 1385
• Site of Reformation, with John Knox as the first Minister
• Hosts one of the copies of National Covenant
• Witnessed executions of Argyll and Montrose , two opponents during the Civil War; it also hosts memorial aisles for them
• Restored many times, it owes its  modern look to works planned and financed by Lord Provost of Edinburgh, William Chambers, in the late 19th century.

난 네가 당당하게 일어났으면 한다

누운 자리에서 박차고 일어나 활기찼으면 한다.

어려운 일이 있어도 강하게 이겨내고 나에게 영광돌리기를 바란다.

아픔이 왔다고 쓰러지는건 하나님의 모습이 아니니라.

정말 많은 생각들이 스쳐지나갔다. 정신나간 내 자신을 어떻게든 설득해보려고 노력을 했다. 하지만 한번 빠져나간 기운이 돌아오지를 않았다. 축 처지게 되고, 쓰러지게 되고..

이럴때가 있다. 가끔씩 내 생각인지 진짜 하나님의 말씀인지 누가 나에게 말을 거는 것같은 3인칭의 시점으로 생각할때가 있다.하지만 그런 말씀들이 대부분 틀린적이 없다. 내가 생각을 하면서도 마구 울었던적이 있다. 정말로 그렇게 말씀해주시는 것 같아서.. 말씀뿐만이 아니라 그 마음까지 느껴지는 것 같아서..

오늘 아침은 격려의 말씀이였다. 일어나라 하셨다. 이렇게 쓰러져 있는건 하나님의 모습이 아니라 하셨다. 그래, 그 무엇보다 난 하나님의 빛을 한껏 머금은 달님이 되고싶다. 하나님의 모습으로.. 그리고 하나님의 마음으로 살아가는 것. 그것이 나의 꿈. 절때 포기해서는, 잊어서는 안되는 나의 뿌리되는 이상향.

하나님, 제가 일어났습니다. 제가 당당해 지겠습니다. 하나님의 모습이 저를 통해 보여지게 하겠습니다. 예수님께서 힘든일을 피하시지않고 모두 겪으시면서 이기셨습니다. 그 승리하는 모습이 진정한 왕의 모습이며, 하나님의 영광의 증거였습니다. 저도 힘든일을 피하지 않을겁니다. 아픔이 오면 꼭 참고 이겨낼 것입니다. 단순히 그 아픔만을 참으며 이겨내는 것이 아니라 그 시련을 통해 더욱 발전해 나가고 변화할 것입니다. 하지만 항상 당신에게 의지함을 잊지 않게 하소서. 저 혼자힘으로 이겨내고 치유되는건 의미가 없습니다. 오히려 흉터만 덕지덕지 남아 더 못난 모습이 되어있겠지요. 당신께서 치유하셔야 합니다. 당신께서 치유하셔야만 저의 영혼이 온전한 모습을 지킬 수 있습니다.

언재나 귀기울이고 있을태니.. 말씀해 주세요. 듣겠습니다.