Comprendiamo lo stupore.

Titolo inglese:
DIE HARD 2
Titolo italiano:
58 MINUTI PER MORIRE
Cioè:
Quelle belle epopee in cui il tempo scorre implacabile in attesa del grande evento, immaginatevi uno schema tipo 24 in cui ogni tanto compare un orologio al quarzo a segnare quanto manca. Nel caso specifico, se non erro, a un certo punto del film un ciccione trascurabile dice che un aereo qualunque arriverà tra cinquantotto minuti. Non è quel che si dice l’evento decisivo del film, che dopo l’arrivo dell’aereo in questione continuerà elegantemente fino al gran finale. Però niente, chiamarlo Die Hard 2 sembrava brutto –considerato anche che il primo era passato da Duro a morire a Trappola di cristallo. Si dice in certi ambienti che un mammasantissima dei titolasti avesse deciso di agire per il LOL,  proposto di chiamarlo Erezione Mortale 2, farlo uscire direttamente in VHS per il mercato del porno e vaffanculo. La cosa non ha incontrato il favore dei fan di Bruce Willis in azienda, che per cancellare ogni traccia di dubbio hanno parafrasato il titolo readymade di una specie di remake apocrifo di Sotto il Vestito Niente con protagonista l’ancora sconosciuta Mariangela Morselli. Il quale in seguito è stato affossato, vuoi per il cambio di titolo (era diventato Se mi stupri ti sfregio) vuoi per la conversione mistica della protagonista. Altri titoli che erano andati al ballottaggio finale, secondo le nostre fonti all’interno, erano Fidel scortecciami il pioppo, Mamma ho incendiato l’aereo, Trappola di kerosene e Per favore non mordermi sulla carlinga. Tutto sommato non è andata nemmeno troppo male.

Nicko & Joe...

It started as a way of passing time at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in 2005. In between their stand-up comedy routines Nicko and Joe would raid some of Edinburgh’s finest charity shops in a bid to find the worst films ever made. What began as two people yelling at the TV soon spread and by the end of the Fringe their living room had become their own version of a packed-out cinema.

Bad Film Club has created a place where likeminded folk can gather to celebrate the guilty joy that is a good bad movie and re-create that living room atmosphere of a night in with friends.

Armed only with their wit and their laser pointers the duo take you on a journey through bad plot lines, terrible dialogue, awful acting and some of the worst special effects known to man. And all the while they provide a live DVD style commentary just in case you missed the worst bits.

Shark Attack 3...

Previous screenings of films so bad they’re good have included Snowbeast, Firestorm, Die Hard 2: Die Harder, Grease 2, Anaconda, Frankenfish, Jaws 4, Strip To Kill, Water Torture, Freaks, Diary of A Sex Addict and Shark Attack 3…

Nicko and Joe’s Bad Film Club is hosted by Chapter Arts Centre in Cardiff on the first Sunday of every month, but also takes place in Independent cinemas around the UK, including London’s Barbican Centre and Royal Observatory and Edinburgh’s Mercat and Pleasance Dome.

I spoke to Nicko and asked her a few questions to give you an insight into the world of Bad Film Club…

What prompted you to start the Bad Film Club?

“It was boredom really.  We were up in Edinburgh doing our other show (we started out doing music and comedy) and when you’re only working for an hour a day you have a lot to do with your time, especially as we were sponsored that year and so had even less of a reason to get out of bed.  So we would spend our days hunting around charity shops and second hand DVD stores finding terrible movies, go back to the flat and watch them as we shouted stuff at the screen.  By the end of the fringe there were more people in our flat watching us watching movies than there were in our actual show.  S0 we thought we’d give it a go.”

Snowbeast is the next film is to shown at Chapter...

You host the Bad Film Club in various venues across the UK. Which is your favourite venue, if any?

“We will always love Cardiff’s Chapter Arts Centre because they gave us our first shot; a brilliant man called Tony Whitehead who died a short time ago took a chance on us and for that we will always be grateful.  We love doing the Barbican Centre because it’s nice to think that as we’re showing Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus the Royal Philharmonic are somewhere else in the building performing at the same time.   We’ve also did a show at The Royal Observatory Planetarium this year and that was super sweet too.”

Have there been any particularly memorable screenings?

“Some have been memorable for the wrong reasons. But we did a gig just recently in Chipping Norton in this really quaint little old theatre that used to be a Salvation Army building.  The audience was made up, mostly, of women who were probably more used to Women’s Institute meetings than Jaws 4, however, it was one of the nicest shows we’ve done.  We then went to have a Thai meal and the restaurant was just a converted front room and contained some of the audience.”

Which film has had the best/worst reactions from an audience?

“People do let loose during the film club. Somebody rushed onto the stage during Grease 2 because they felt the urge to dance, we’ve had spoons thrown at us on stage with Peter Serafinowicz and Graham Linehan, I’ve been hit in the face with a giant shark lolly, somebody made a 17ft snake for Anaconda which was passed up and down the audience during the attack scenes. Our audiences are the strangest, nicest, coolest and most patient people you could ever meet.”

The duo take to the stage and perform stand-up comedy during the show...

Which film is scheduled to be shown next at Cardiff’s Chapter Arts Centre? And when will this be?

“I think the next film is our Christmas Special on December the 6th, which means free mince pies, crackers and chocolates along with the Stallone classic Daylight.”

“Well, people should head to Chapter because it’s a mondo rad venue that shows lots of different and interesting shows. As for coming to see Daylight, well they shouldn’t, they should stay at home on a Sunday night watching proper telly…However if you have a twisted need to feel disappointment and bewilderment, and love of watching integrity being lost at a rate of knots… come on down!”

To find out more about Bad Film Club, have a look at Nicko and Joe’s website here…

Throughout history, men and women alike have dreamed of technological advances such as advanced robotics, did they perceive that said technological advancement would subsequently result in near-constant isolation of the human race? Apparently not. The year is 2017 when a company known as VSI create ‘Surrogates‘, robotic shells in which the user can place their own personality, thoughts and to some extent their soul, into it’s well known invulnerable shell, protecting the user from harm and letting them experience anything they desire all from the safety of the users own home.

With the creation of the Surrogates, crime rates have fallen to almost nothing, until FBI agent Tom Greer (Bruce Willis) catches wind of the first murder to happen within years. Greer finds that everything isn’t what it seems within this futuristic, perfect utopia and in turn, questions what exactly defines a human. Now, that is something that really should be taken into account here, there have been countless films in the past which focus on the creation of somewhat autonomous sentient beings (even if that may be debatable here), such as in; I Robot, Terminators and Transformers, but Surrogates brings forward something unique to the table. Whilst at first, the film may not seem so dark and sinister, if you read in to the concept, it’s really quite disturbing, essentially exploring philosophical questions such as ‘What defines humanity?.’

The futuristic comic book adaptation features Bruce Willis (Die Hard Trilogy, Sixth Sense, The Fifth Element), Radha Mitchell (Pitch Black, Phone Booth, Silent Hill, also the upcoming ‘The Crazies’), Rosamund Pike (Pride & Prejudiced, Die Another Day, Fracture), Boris Kodjoe (Brown Sugar, The Gospel, Starship Troopers 3) , James Cromwell (Babe, L.A Confidential, The Green Mile) and Ving Rhames (Pulp Fiction, Mission Impossible II, Dawn Of The Dead). Willis is renowned for his die hard attitude which appears in most of his films, and he does an exceptional job throughout Surrogates of preserving that, whilst some people may see as a flaw, I on the other hand, think it’s an attribute that should be carried with him. Alternatively, Mitchell’s performance, whilst definitely professional, seemed rather benumbed at best, but this may be due to the fact her character doesn’t really get a chance to make a big impact throughout Surrogates. I would however like to applaud Cromwell on his rather impressive representation of Dr. Lionel Canter which, teamed with Willis, kept the film going for me. An intricate film which subsequently makes you think, and definitely doubt, you’ll love it if you are sci-fi/comic book fans, otherwise it might not be the film for you.

]]> http://filmnissen.wordpress.com/2009/09/20/die-hard-2-1990/ Sun, 20 Sep 2009 22:42:04 +0000 Magnus Johansson http://filmnissen.wordpress.com/2009/09/20/die-hard-2-1990/

I den andra Die Hard-filmen återser vi Bruce Willis som den okonventionella New York-snuten John McClane som denna gång befinner sig på en flygplats för att hämta sin fru då han ofrivilligt dras in i en kupp där han måste stoppa ett gäng terrorister som hotar med att krascha planen i luften. Motarbetad av säkerhetspersonalen på flygplatsen krävs det att han tar egna initiativ.

Här är det finske Renny Harlin som axlat regissörsrollen och gör det med bravur. Det smäller och skjuts nästan oavbrutet, men där finns ändå en del själ och hjärta samt en hel del humor, vilket gör filmen intressant och jäkligt underhållande. I mångt och mycket en upprepning av ettan, men det mesta är ett strå vassare. Samtidigt återser vi flera karaktärer som coola frun, svinaktige tv-reportern och gemytlige polismannen från skyskrapeincidenten i Los Angeles. Intensiv och maffig action av idag traditionellt snitt som också håller tio år senare.

Betyg: 4

A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master is the fourth film in the A Nightmare on Elm Street series. It was released in 1988. The film was directed by Renny Harlin.

Tagline: Terror Beyond Your Wildest Dreams.

Proving there’s no rest for the wicked, the unspeakably evil Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund) is again resurrected from the grave to wreak havoc upon those who dare to dream. But this time, he faces a powerful new adversary!

As her friends succumb one by one to Freddy’s wrath, telepathically gifted Kristen embarks on a desperate mission to destroy the satanic dream stalker and release the tortured souls of his victims once and for all.

Directed by Renny Harlin (The Long Kiss Goodnight, Die Hard 2) and loaded with killer effects and drop-dead humor, this is a “superior horror picture that balances wit and gore with imagination and intelligence” (L.A. Times).

“Dream Powers”

Continuing the tradition from the previous film, the protagonists of this film have dream powers. They do not personally use these powers, but after Alice absorbs them, she displays powers from each of her friends. The exceptions of these are Kincaid and Joey who died prior to Alice’s introduction to Krueger.

• Kristen – Kristen’s gift of pulling people into her dreams are what Freddy uses, when Alice absorbs them, he forces her to reveal a potential victim. Since she has not yet developed any kind of control beyond that, he is able to eject her from interfering. The exception to this being Dan, whom she wills awake. She can also see into her dreams, for when Dan gets into trouble, she can join him. Her acrobatic skills are also implemented, though to a much smaller degree than Kristen’s.

• Sheila – Sheila’s natural ability of using her inventions were given to Alice, as displayed when she connected a power cable from a wall to the back of a device Sheila created to fire a beam of energy at Krueger.

• Rick – Rick’s abilities as a martial artist are given to Alice, she first learns this when she handles a pair of nunchucks with ease, out of character from her naturally clumsy handling.

• Debbie – Debbie provides Alice with a serious toughness and strength as Alice displays several times for her last conflict. Enabling Alice to know how to balance her strengths given by Rick, she also uses it to punch into a wall to attain a power cord for Sheila’s invention.

Alice – Alice has no official dream power herself; for her they are irrelevant. Her power is that she can either summon or become, depending on interpretation, the spiritual opposite of Freddy, the dream master who can rescue the dead. Having been taught the dream master spell by her mother before her mother’s death, Alice is able to use this spell to reassert control over her dreams in the film’s final fight with Freddy.

Make Up Department
  Howard Berger … makeup application: Freddy Krueger, Kevin Yagher Productions
  R. Christopher Biggs … additional makeup effects creator
  R. Christopher Biggs … key makeup effects: R. Chris Biggs EFX Shop
  R. Christopher Biggs … special makeup effects artist
  John Carl Buechler … special makeup effects artist
  John Criswell … makeup effects mechanical: R. Chris Biggs EFX Shop
  Bill Forsche … special makeup effects artist
  Screaming Mad George … makeup artist
  Steve Johnson … special makeup effects
  Roger McCoin … makeup effects mechanical: R. Chris Biggs EFX Shop
  Bart Mixon … special makeup effects artist
  Suzanne Parker Sanders … makeup department head
  Alicia M. Tripi … hair stylist
  Brian Wade … special makeup effects artist
  AJ Workman … makeup effects mechanical: R. Chris Biggs EFX Shop
  Kevin Yagher … makeup creator: Freddy Krueger
  Kevin Yagher … special makeup effects
  Vera Yurtchuk … makeup artist

Special Effects Department
  Bill Barschdorf … key technician: Steve Johnson’s XFX, Inc.
  Martin Becker … additional mechanical effects: Reel EFX, Inc.
  Nick Benson … special effects
  Kristina Birkmayer … production coordinator: Steve Johnson’s XFX, Inc.
  Roger Borelli … first assistant: R. Chris Biggs EFX Shop
  John Carl Buechler … creator: aged Alice makeups; Freddy’s chests of souls; chest hole and horror pizza
  Camille Calvet … first assistant: R. Chris Biggs EFX Shop
  Rik Carter … special effects makeup
  Tom Chesney … special effects technician
  Scott Coulter … first assistant: R. Chris Biggs EFX Shop
  Scott Coulter … special effects makeup
  Roberto dePalma … technician: Steve Johnson’s XFX, Inc.
  Eric Fiedler … shop foreman: Steve Johnson’s XFX, Inc.
  David Fletcher … special effects foreman
  Bill Forsche … technician: Steve Johnson’s XFX, Inc.
  John Foster … production manager: Magical Media Industries, Inc.
  Mark Garbarino … technician: Screaming Mad George, Inc.
  Screaming Mad George … creator: cockroach death sequence
  Jim Gill … additional mechanical effects: Reel EFX, Inc.
  Mecki Heussen … special makeup and mechanical construction: Magical Media Industries, Inc.
  Greg Johnson … lab technician: Magical Media Industries, Inc.
  Steve Johnson … creator: Freddy’s death sequence
  Adam Jones … first assistant: R. Chris Biggs EFX Shop
  Makio Kida … technician: Screaming Mad George, Inc.
  Shimpei Kitamura … technician: Screaming Mad George, Inc.
  Tom Lauten … first assistant: R. Chris Biggs EFX Shop
  Michael Levitre … technician: Screaming Mad George, Inc.
  Leonard MacDonald … key technician: Steve Johnson’s XFX, Inc.
  Kelly Mann … special effects
  Dave Matherly … technician: Screaming Mad George, Inc.
  Hal Miles … stop motion replacement animation consultant
  Dean W. Miller … special effects
  Bart Mixon … technician: Steve Johnson’s XFX, Inc.
  Linda Obalil … physics test animator: Motion Opticals
  Scott Pierce … technician: Steve Johnson’s XFX, Inc.
  Joe Podnar … moldmaker: Magical Media Industries, Inc.
  D. Kerry Prior … special effects artist: Dream Quest Images
  Timothy Ralston … mechanical construction: Magical Media Industries, Inc.
  Chris Robbins … lab technician: Magical Media Industries, Inc.
  Patrick Simmons … lab technician: Magical Media Industries, Inc.
  Mark Sisson … first assistant: R. Chris Biggs EFX Shop
  Joseph Smick … rigger: R. Chris Biggs EFX Shop
  Heidi Snyder … head sculptor: Magical Media Industries, Inc.
  Carl Sorensen … lab technician: Kevin Yagher Productions, Inc.
  Sandra Stewart … special effects assistant
  Michiko Tagawa … technician: Steve Johnson’s XFX, Inc.
  Wayne Toth … lab technician: Magical Media Industries, Inc.
  Tony Tremblay … mechanical fan
  Todd Van Der Pluyn … castles and sandmotion
  Brian Wade … technician: Screaming Mad George, Inc.
  Brian Wade … technician: Steve Johnson’s XFX, Inc.
  Scott Wheeler … technician: Steve Johnson’s XFX, Inc.
  AJ Workman … special effects
  Sarah Costello … special effects foreman (uncredited)

The Nightmare Film Collection

 Visual Effects Department
  James Balsam … motion control camera operator
  Barbara Anne Bock … effects crew
  Paul Hettler … visual effects
  Jody Rogers … visual effects editor
  Hoyt Yeatman … special visual effects: DQI (uncredited)

Sometimes I wonder what the other Die Hard movies would’ve been like if John McClane ran all around barefoot in those like he did in the first one.

He was pretty harcore in the first one without any shoes, right?

Could he sustain that level of hardcoreness and smart-mouthedness in Die Hard 2, what with all the running around in the snow and all? Or would he get frostbite and have to have his feet amputated?

I’m pretty sure that’s what would’ve happened.

Then he’d have ended up shooting Samuel Jackson’s character in Die Hard With A Vengeance for making too many wisecracks about the prosthetic feet he’d, of course, have been running around trying to solve those silly riddles with.

And then, if Al had put down the Twinkies and helped him skirt the charges for killing Zeus in NYC, even though Al was, of course, an LA cop, I doubt that he’d have been able to do half the stuff he did in Live Free Or Die Hard with prosthetics.

Unless Justin Long went all “I’m a Mac…” and hooked him up with some iFeet to do all sorts of futuristic John McClane shenanigans with, like hovering in front of that one fighter jet that just ravaged that one freeway, and while hovering in front of the plane, point a handgun at the cockpit, and be all like “Now who’s afraid of heights?” and then bust a cap in the bad guy pilot’s grill, causing the jet to crash atop the remains of the freeway and burst into a firey mess.

In conclusion, the original Die Hard is the best.

Oh, and Die Hard 2 is cool, too, though, because not only does John McClane stab a dude in the eye with an icicle — an icicle! — but he blows up an entire jumbo jet by lighting its fuel leak on fire with a zippo lighter.

Yippie-kay-yay, motherlovers.

One of the problems with the way I’ve structured this blog is it’s a bit black and white. There are films out there which fit in the grey area between genius and disaster.
So, here’s a list of good bad films, they’re not exactly brilliant, but they’re good in their own rubbish way. They’re the inbetweeners that don’t fit on the must-see list but don’t belong on the steer-clear list either.

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. It’s not exactly a great film; the plot is thin and the adaptations from the novels are just plain wrong, but I still love it to bits. It’s harmless fun, it makes me laugh and on a dull night in it definitely passes the time.

Die Hard 2.  Yes we all know it’s nowhere near as good as the original, or even the third, but its John McClane running around shooting things and saying Yipee Ki-Ay. It’s all I need.

Bruce Almighty. I know that its wrong to love Jim Carrey but I can’t help it.  This film borders on preachy but just gets round it, and it really does make me laugh.  We’re all alllowed some guilty pleasures…

Home Alone.  I know. But hear me out.  It’s Christmas and that brilliant John Williams score starts up…it just works.

The two Matrix Sequels.  Compared to the original they aren’t fit to call themselves The Matrix, but if you let that go, there’s some awesome fight choreography which make it worthwile as long as you don’t try and understand the plot.  The multicar pile up in Reloaded is the best I’ve ever seen, I’d watch it just for that.

Fantastic Four.  Defintely the weakest of the Marvel adaptations, the characters just aren’t as interesting, but it’s still a fun watch.  I’m never going to quite buy Ioan Gruffudd as an action hero, but the film doesn’t take itself seriously enough for it to matter.

The Lost Boys.  Possible the most 80s film ever made.  The special effects are “special” for all the wrong reasons and the vampire plot was tired even then, but somehow it still manages to be brilliant.  Maybe it’s Keifer Sutherland with peroxide hair that does it…

So, they’re not exactly run out and see them now recommendations, but don’t turn them down.  Give ‘em a go.  Don’t expect Oscar winners, just slightly fluffy but fun film making.

This doesn’t even sound like Bruce Willis:

I think I see now why they went with these nonsense words, they match his mouth pretty closely.

Wow. Just wow. I hope I never find a stranger in the Alps.

WHO IS MR. FALCON????

In the hour or so since I came up with the idea for this entry I’ve vacillated wildly between two contrasting opinions.

On the one hand it seems like movies suffer irreparable harm when you take the bite out of the dialogue and render it goofy by changing swear words to other, often nonsensical, words.

However, it is also hilarious to see “Yippie kai yay, motherfucker” changed to “Yippie kai yay, Mr. Falcon” and “I’ve had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane” mutated into “I’ve had it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane.”

Think about those two statements and how bizarre they are. The first line is in the tv version of Die Hard 2, a movie that contains no character named Mr. Falcon. So is John McClane using Mr. Falcon has some sort of Dadaist insult? Is he using a word that prominently features an M and then an F in the hopes that everyone can fill in the blanks? Maybe his New Year’s Resolution was to swear less but he isn’t creative enough to come up with good alternative swears?

The second line is obviously from Snakes on a Plane, which just recently hit the basic cable airwaves. It was the news coverage on the changing of this line that gave me the idea to write this actually. Here the words are still ridiculous, but perhaps a little more believable. “Monkey fighting snakes” is an unusual thing to say, but it is certainly possible that some of the varieties of poisonous snakes on the plane do indeed fight monkeys in the wild. Samuel L. Jackson’s character might have known that. The “Monday to Friday plane” comment could be about the plane’s rather unusual flight schedule. Maybe that airline only goes from Honolulu to Los Angeles on weekdays. What really is strange is the way they don’t use words that are already accepted alternatives to swearing. Why “monkey fighting” and “Monday to Friday” when “motherloving” could’ve easily been used both times to a much less silly effect?

So yes, sometimes the alterations made for the sensitive ears of TNT and SPIKE’s television audiences make for hilarious substitutions that I can get behind. But what about when you’re watching a good non-action movie with a lot of foul language like Goodfellas, or Casino (Joe Pesci loves a good cussin’) or a movie that relies on constant swearing as a part of its DNA like The Big Lebowski?

For most movies like this I think the best solution is to cut the sound on the swear words. Yeah, it can be a little jarring when the character is talking and suddenly a word or two are inaudible, but you still get the point of what is going on and no little kids in the room will have their brains infected with the awfulness of certain words we’ve deemed offensive. Failing this you can also bleep the words, but bleeps are much more annoying than just dropping the audio altogether.

When you think about it is really amazing the way this isn’t used more. Why is our first instinct to jam other nonsensical words in the character’s mouths that make the characters seem crazy and/or dumb and which obviously don’t match what their mouths are saying? Somewhere a cabal of cable executives have some kind of focus group data taken from a focus group of all idiots that suggests that the public finds it too confusing when their movies cut the audio from swears or that they find bleeps to be scary. Maybe they were confused as to why characters suddenly said “BOOOOOP” all the time.

As for movies like The Big Lebowski, they simply shouldn’t be shown on television unless it is late at night when networks like Comedy Central actually show uncensored programming. The Dude’s commitment to “Fuck it” as a life philosophy simply can’t properly be conveyed by “Fart this” or whatever the cable channels change it to.

Fudge it, Dude.

Ok, so I started unsure of my opinion but thanks to writing this out I’ve come to three good conclusions.

1. It is ok to dub alternative dialogue into action movies, and the rule of thumb should be “the goofier, the better.” Most of these movies’ viewers are stoners who are watching Lethal Weapon 3 for the 40th time at 2:00pm on a Saturday. You might as well satisfy them.
2. Do not add dubbed words to classy films or most comedies. Just cut the audio on the swear words. Use bleeping as a back up.
3. Do not show The Big Lebowski on television. This has to be one of the most owned DVD’s out there anyway. When you show this on tv with dubbed audio you are pissing on the Coen brothers’ proverbial rug, and that thing really tied the room together.

Nothing Sacred is a new Horror/Fantasy film by writer/directors Dylan Bank and Morgan Pehme.  The film synopsis is: To avenge their mother’s death, a pair of twins must kill their father before he can become immortal.

The special effects in the film help to move the plot along.  I especially liked a scene in which a creepy puppet seems to come to life and another involving a woman being possessed by a snake spirit. 

Makeup Special Effects artist Anthony Pepe worked on this film and did a great job!  Filmed on location throughout the United States, France, and Belgium, was released in both English and French versions.

The film stars French box-office sensation Thierry Lhermitte (The Dinner Game, French Fried Vacation), Philippe Nahon, the star of High Tension, and famed scream queen Debbie Rochon (Terror Firmer), alongside newcomers Alan Barnes Netherton and Naama Kates. Actor William Sadler is cast as the film’s villian.  Sadler is known for his roles in such films as Die Hard 2, Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey and The Shawshank Redemption.

http://www.nothingsacredmovie.com/

Die Hard 2

http://doo-movie-free.co.cc/?p=610

A nyolcvanas évek legjobb akciófilmjének folytatásában Bruce leosztja a gonosz terroristákat a washingtoni reptéren… Die Hard 2. kritika.

Die Hard 2. (1990)

“Motherfuckin’ motherfucker!”

Ki a rendező: A finn születésű Renny Harlin, akinek első nagy hollywoodi produkciója meglehetősen felemásra sikeredett (Rémálom az Elm utcában 4.). De aztán két évvel később jelen posztunk tárgyával meglehetősen nagyot durrantott, és az álomgyár egyik legsikeresebb akciófilm rendezőjévé lépett elő a kilencvenes években olyan filmekkel mint a Cliffhanger, az Utánunk a tűzözön (ha jól emlékszem itt jött össze Geena Davis-szel) vagy a Háborgó mélység.

Ki játszik benne: A germán származású Bruce Willis, akinek máig John McClane a leg(el)ismertebb szerepe, pedig temérdek akció- és egyéb műfajú filmben szerepelt (Az utolsó cserkész, Hatodik érzék, Az ötödik elem, Armageddon, Ponyvaregény, Grindhouse, Sin City – csak hogy az ismertebbeket említsük). Willis mellett ismét felbukkan a csaját alakító Bonnie Bedelia, illetve az egyik főgonosz szerepében Franco Nero.

Mi a sztori: Karácsony este – Dulles International Airport, Washington. John McClane a feleségét várja a reptéren, miközben feltűnik neki két gyanús alak, akikről hamarosan kiderül, hogy valóban rosszban sántikálnak. De ez még csak a kezdet: egy marcona elitkatonákból álló terroristacsoport ugyanis nem sokkal később átveszi az irányítást a reptér biztonsági rendszere felett, és megbénítja a teljes légi forgalmat. McClane-nek igyekeznie kell, mivel a leszálló járatok egyikén ott ül a felesége, a fenn köröző gépekben pedig vészesen fogy a kerozin.

Tovább is van>>

So last night I watched the Die Hard movies and noticed that Die Hard 2 has alot of gratuitous killings in it, so here is the body count for laughs (in chronological order with COD):

• Church caretaker – shot in the face
• 1 Bad guy – steamrollered by luggage conveyor system
• 5 SWAT and 1 bad guy – gunfight
• 3 Bad guys – Bruce Willis’ed
• 3 Flight crew, 230 passengers, 3+ flight attendants
• 1 guard and 2 pilots – FM-1 flight crew
• 1 Bad guy?
• 1 Bad guy – icicle through the eye
• 2 Bad guys – snowmobile related death
• 1 Army special forces member – betrayed by others, knife to the throat
• 1 Bad guy – sucked into a jet engine
• 16+ Bad guys on plane – Yippie ki-yea m—–f—er

So at a minimum, 270 deaths

Christmas Fight 3: Jingle All the Way vs. Die Hard 2

Jingle All the Way
Current Ranking: 28
PRO ARNOLD AND TURBOMAN:
+ Ok, the main argument for why this is a better (remember) CHRISTMAS movie is that it is about Christmas, gifts, family, love and the father-son bond that only Arnold can fully articulate.
ANTI BALDING COPS WITH BLACK SIDEKICKS:
- This movie has nothing to do with Christmas! It just happens to take place at Christmas! Vote with your Brain. I’ll give you that Die Hard 2 might be a better movie (I know I love it more), but it’s not a Christmas movie!

Die Hard 2
Current Ranking: 29
PRO DIE HARD FIGHTING ON THE WING OF A PLANE:
+ Remember when Die Hard fights those guys in the baggage claim. How about when he kills Terminator 2 in the Annex. OH! Remember when Die hard jumps in the ejector seat to avoid being blown up by a grenade! Wait… what was the category again?!
ANTI JOKEY CRAPPY SINBAD MOVIES:
- Just watch this for 5 Seconds!

RESULTS:
Jingle All the Way – 4
Die Hard 2                – 3

In much the same way that certain songs have shaped my life and come to represent distinct memories or periods of my life, there are images that have imprinted themselves on my mind’s eye. These images are linked to memories and feelings that are as distinct today as they were back then. I’ve been “leafing” through the newly released Life magazine photos archive. I don’t know exactly how, but I came across this image (it’s not from Life magazine, but I stumbled across it nonetheless) and I knew exactly what it was.

The chain link fence, the yellow sign, and the fiery crash occuring in the distance are all so familiar. This is a still frame from video shot of United Airlines Flight 232 that crashed while attempting an emergency landing at Sioux City, Iowa’s airport on 7/19/1989. I was nine years old at the time and it was the summer between 3rd and 4th grade for me. It was the first big airplane crash that I remember. The Challenger had exploded after taking off when I was 5, and I sort of remember that, but I remember that just as much for the attention it has received in subsequent years. I haven’t heard anything about Flight 232 since growing up. But I clearly remember the video of the plane crash landing, breaking apart, and engulfing in flames — all shot through that chain link fence. I remember reading a Time magazine article about the crash in the doctor’s office (I’m guessing it was the allergy doctor’s office as I began receiving twice-weekly allergy shots that summer). There were more children than normal on the plane that day due to some United Airlines promotion and so in the pictures of the crash and rescue in the magazine there were lots of kids – injured and bleeding, being carried away from smoking pieces of airplane while deep green fields of corn framed the event.

That led me to think of a lot of the airline crashes that shaped my formative years. It seemed like there was a significant one every year or so for awhile. The bombing of PanAm Flight 103 mid-air over Lockerbie, Scotland happened in 1988, but the search for suspects continued for years afterward and so while I don’t remember the initial disaster it is still a big event that lingered in my memory.

Also in February, 1989 United Airlines Flight 811 had some type of explosion over Honolulu that sucked 9 people out of the plane, although most of the crew and passengers survived. I remember this one mostly because of watching the made-for-tv movie that came out afterward. I remember a little boy being the first person to notice the roof of the plane about to be sucked off. I remember his backpack being sucked out of the plane along with a screaming stewardess. Not surprisingly, as a 9 year old all I could think of was whether he had a GameBoy in his backpack and how terrible it must have been to lose it into the ocean. I vowed from then on to always hold my carry-on bag with all its valuables in my lap lest it be sucked away for good.

I remember TWA Flight 800 exploding shortly after takeoff from New York in July 1996.

And of course there were the 4 planes that crashed due to the terrorist actions of 9/11.

But I couldn’t think of any recent airline disasters. To clarify, I know there are dozens of airline crashes every year. But since 9/11 there hasn’t been a big domestic airplane crash. There have been smaller, commuter plane crashes and International airline accidents, but none of the 737 or larger size accidents. I wonder what has changed? Are the airlines safer? Are pilots better trained? Is it simply a matter of fewer flights with the decrease in air travel since 9/11? Or has John McClane been officially hired as Czar of the FAA?

http://www.megaupload.com/?f=0C1YS13W

Here’s a picture of Jesus Budda in the trenches of World War 1.

AS you’ll notice in the image, I dressed like a woman. Don’t ask. It kept me alive, godammit!
A terrible war and one that has almost been ignored because of that damn sequel that happened in 1939.

Die Hard 2 was a good film but it’s not as good as Die Hard 1, is it?
Of course not.
Let’s remember the good ‘ol times of 1914-1918 with these photographs from my private collection:

That’s me in the trenches flexing my bulging muscles. We dug that trench much wider than any other trench in the War. 16 miles wide by 29 miles long. We had our own swimming pool, sauna and casino. Good times.

This guy was known as ‘the pointer’. He just pointed at folks. Nothing else. All day and all night he stood there pointing. Never spoke a word. Died from a German shepherd bite in the groin. Sad end for a strange man. Nice guy, by the way.

This is Bert and Ernie. Bert loved that rifle. Married it after the War.

Ernie like urinating this way. Never unbuttoned his pants. A proud man. He died of heartburn. Ate a poisoned carrot.

Thanks to Star Movies, I got to enjoy 8 fun-filled hours of drooling at Bruce Willis. I’m sure SmartDode doesn’t want to know all about my obsession about Bruce – I can still see him recoil away from me when I attempted to start a conversation about why anyone aka Demi Moore would even contemplate an Ashton after she’d had a Bruce – be that as it may, has it escaped anyone’s attention that he is simply rocking hot?

Anyway, the Gods must really love us cause we arrived home exactly right on the dot with a few minutes left over to stash away our things and get comfortable for Die Hard.

Additional bonus?? Alan “Professor Snape” Rickman – in yet another intense and awesome performance. Is it just me or do actors no longer have long and fruitful careers anymore?

And before I could even begin to appreciate the legend that is John McClane, the credits started rolling and we prepared for the second installment: Die Hard 2: Die Harder.

Now Die Harder has never been my favourite in the (so we all thought before last year) trilogy because it’s so outlandish! I mean, sure, such things could happen but just like in old kung fu movies, ever notice how the hero never gets shot even though a dozens of guns are pointed at him and there is open fire? Yeah, same applies here.

And I guess John’s wife was smart enough to know that sticking with him would never come to any good cause by Die Hard With A Vengeance, they were separated.

This has to be my favourite – also probably cause I’ve watched it the most times out of all the Die Hard movies. Favourite moment has to be the beginning where the police – on the behest of Simple Simon – try and locate John and find him totally piss drunk.

Oh and having two stellar supporting cast in Samuel L Jackson and Jeremy Irons doesn’t hurt either.

Then on to the 4th (and hopefully final movie – they really killed the franchise for me in this one!) movie at 10.00 p.m. Dunno about you but I hated it when it came out last year. Oh Bruce, why did you agree to do it?

Sure it had a great cast – all with impressive resumes – in Timothy Oliphant, Justin Long, and even Maggie Q (who inexplicably is suddenly Asia’s representative in Hollywood Action Blockbusters) – but it didn’t seem real. The first 3 movies had pizzazz – even in the scenes where you had to swallow to believe – but this one fell flat on its face.

So I thought it was just sour grapes. Hey, since they’re showing it, might as well give it a second chance, right?

Nope, still did not like it much.

But Bruce is still one cool Joe. I mean, who else could go Yippee-Ka-Yay and not sound like a total dweeb??

and ps. I don’t just enjoy the movies cause of the hot actor factor. I actually love watching action movies where everything gets blown into pieces. Violent, much?

The way I got into films was by watching movies that had been taped from television.  In my house we never had many official VHS tapes of films, just movies that my parents had taped from TV.  We had a trunk full of tapes, all sorts of different movies, though mostly violent, 18 rated films.

Now it came a surprise when you see an official copy of a film that you had seen on the television and you’re seeing a different version.  Violence and swearing which was cut from the TV version appear, it was great to see these new things, it was like seeing a film for the first time again.  My greatest memory was with Predator, the first time I saw that, I watched a badly TV edit version so when seeing it again, full of extra violence, I was pleasantly surprised but also outraged.

Since then I have seen films cut to fuck with terrible edits and bad dubs.  Now for your pleasure, here are some examples of the worst safe for TV versions of films I have ever seen.

Die Hard 2

Robocop

Scarface

The Big Lebowski