We should not feel embarrassed by our difficulties, only by our failure to grow anything beautiful from them.

Alain de Botton, “Consolations of Philosophy”, 2000. Penguin Books.

“Self-acceptance comes from meeting life’s challenges vigorously. Don’t numb yourself to your trials and difficulties, nor build mental walls to exclude pain from your life. You will find peace not by trying to escape your problems, but by confronting them courageously. You will find peace not in denial, but in victory.”
J. Donald Walters quotes (Romanian author, lecturer, and composer)

This year has sucked big for working but somehow we were able to make ends meet but will little profit in our bank account to show for it. All of the money being spent on our bills which are continuing to mount and cause me angst and anxiety while I continue to search for work.

I place open ads for work on Craigslist and get people like LEON to write to me asking to see my resume for an Accounts Receivable position temp he has available because the person in the job is out on a 3 month maternity leave and may not return. The job pays whatever and what will I need to do the job in way of compensation and then he says this after I court him for two days trying to make sense of what he wants. He’s a big dumb olf-ie kind of lug and yes, I can tell that over the phone and while I can’t imagine working with the likes of him, I feel I am doomed to try because I need work or lose everything I own.

Leon asks me, “you won’t be working with other part-time people when you work for us on this job now, will you?” like this question is even supposed to be tolerated at any time during the interview process. I said, “you have no right to tell me what to do on my off hours when not working for you”. He grunts (yes he actually grunted over the phone) and says “well, we don’t want a conflict of interest” and I said, “my last client is going out of business due to the fact he is a 26-year-old kid without a brain in his entire head and did not listen to anyone when making his terrible business decisions.” All of which is true because unfortunately for me I have not been able to replace my last client with another and thought for sure that his business would remain afloat because he had investors that were enabling him with loads and loads of money whenever he needed it.

My last client relied all too heavily on the fact that he had this sweet deal and decided in order to get out of the pickle he was in when over his head with a client who reneged on going forward with a film intended for the summer of 2009 and now slated for the winter of 2010; the client overextended himself by $20K on the company Amex bill. You can’t screw around with Amex. Amex will screw you back and they did, twice shutting down the account and freezing their company accounts in order to get their money. My client apparently was only paying them the minimum but unaware that Amex was also charging him an extra $400 bucks in fees so he was just treading water month to month.

Apparently when the main investor went to use his  Amex card he came up with egg on face. Musta been a rude awakening for the man who made a fortune in shipping when he whipped out his Amex card to pay for something and was then refused.

None of this was my fault but as the bookkeeper I am incensed that the kid did not confide in me and instead of telling me when I asked why the account was in arrears he rebuffed me saying it was not my business and he would take care of it. His solution: to cut the company and run.  Idiotic and now I’m in a tight spot because that client was keeping us alive and now I have to find a real full-time position in less than 5 weeks. I’m praying that the job in Fort Lee NJ works in my favor – I’ll have to drive there or take several trains and 1 bus to get there but it’s worth it if I am a steady employee. What is the Ft Lee concern: my travel and will I leave in the long run because the travel is a pain in the butt and go into NYC for the remainder of my career. What can you say to all that nonsense?

We are in a depression, people. You take what you get and do the best with it. Carpool, drive your car daily, try and work things out half the year drive and the other half – take the trains and go 3 hours in one direction to get to work. What can I say? A  job is a job and its money to us and that is what we need to survive.

Oh and Leon – go stick your temp maybe perm job in your ear! Oh and the 26-year-old owes me a paycheck which I have not been able to deposit while my bills pile up around my head because his investor hasn’t given him any money to do so and the kid has not had enough sense to stop the automatic withdrawals set up to pay the monthly overhead and bills. It’s ridiculous and I fear that I will not be able to go forward until he closes if payment is not imminent.

—Bonju Patten

Blessed is he that waiteth (Dan. 12:12)

It may seem an easy thing to wait, but it is one of the postures which a Christian soldier learns not without years of teaching.  Marching and quick-marching are mush easier to God’s warrieors than standing still.

There are hours of perplexity when the most willing spirit, anxiously desirous to serve th4 Lord, knows not what part to take.  Then what shall it do?  vex itself by despair? Fly back in cowardice, turn to the right hand in fear, or rush forward in presumption?

No, but simply wait.  Wait in prayer, however.  Call upon God and spread the case before Him;  tell Him your difficulty, and plead His promise of aid.

Wait in faith.  Express your unstaggering confidence in Him.  Believe that if He keeps you tarrying even till midnight, yet he will come at the right time; the vision shall come, and shall not tarry.

Wait in quiet patience.  Never murmur against the second cause, as the children of Israel did against Moses.  Accept the case as it is, and put it as it stands, simply and with your whole heart, without any self-will, into th hand of your covenant God, saying, “Now, Lord, not my will, but Thine be done.  I know not what to do; I am brought to extremities; but I will wait until Thou shalt cleave the floods, or drive back my foes.  I will wait, if Thou keep me many a day, for my heart is fixed upon Thee alone, O God, and my spirit waiteth for Thee in full conviction that Thou wilt yet be my joy and my salvation, my refuge and my strong tower.”

                                                                                From Morning by Morning

Wait, patiently wait,

God never is late;

Thy budding plans are in Thy Father’s holding,

And only wait His grand divine unfolding

Then wait, wait,

Patiently wait.

Trust, hopefully trust,

That God will adjust

Thy tangled life; and from its dark concealing,

Will bring His will, in all its bright revealing.

Then trust, trust,

Hopefully trust.

Rest, peacefully rest

On thy Saviour’s breast;

Breathe in His ear thy sacred high ambition,

And He will bring it forth in blst fuition.

Then rest, rest,

Peacefully rest!

Source: “ The Streams of Desert ”   Mrs. Charles E. Cowman

Delana S

“This school is not academic enough.”

“The teachers in that school will damage my child emotionally.”

“The students are supposed to speak in English but they are not.”

“The administration is impossible!”

“The school does not allow parents to communicate directly with the teachers.”

“Transportation to the school is a big problem.”

“Drugs and substance abuse occur frequently there.”

“There are no reasonably priced schools in our area.”

“I want my child to go to the international school, but it is too expensive.”

“I want my child to go to boarding school, but she doesn’t want to go.”

“My child wants to go to boarding school, but I am not ready to let him go.”

“My child is not fitting in and doesn’t have any friends.”

“My child has some learning issues/needs that school is not/cannot address.”

“My child has been rebelling (acting out) in ways that he hasn’t before. Is this school-related?”

Not only have I heard these statements and many others through the past years, but I have experienced some of these in the educational decisions our family has had to make. Every year we have had to look at the available options, discuss the pros and cons as a couple and sometimes as a family, and ask the Lord to guide us once again in what His plan is for each of our children this year. It is never an easy decision, and there are always upsides and downsides. And, I also realize that good options aren’t always available. In some situations, we may be faced with counting the costs to continue working where we are working, or going home. Depending on circumstances, location, and other factors, some parents may have several options to weigh carefully and prayerfully, and others may only have two (a particular schooling option or working some place else).

Recently I finished reading the book He’s Been Faithful by Carol Cymbala, the director of the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir. Her story (and the story of her husband Jim, as told in the book Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire) are inspiring. Toward the end of her book she tells the story of a guy named Kevin who not only grew up in this church, but had been dedicated there as a baby. He tells about attending Erasmus High in Brooklyn. The buildings were in such a state of disrepair, that whenever it rained outside, it rained inside. The bathrooms were dangerous hangouts for drug dealers, so students used the stairwells as their toilets. After several rapes, slashings, and a murder, he says that “going to school became more like going to jail…full-body searches, metal detectors, and ID cards.” Robberies continued to be commonplace. Yet, through it all, Kevin states:

“Even though Erasmus wasn’t the greatest thing going, it taught me how much I needed to depend on God. Every morning as I left for school I prayed, asking God to bring me back home that night. I knew I could get it any number of ways—on the train, in a hallway at school, or maybe somebody would slash me just because they wanted my jacket. But they never did because God was keeping me safe.

I used to think that I didn’t have a story to tell. I wasn’t running around on the streets, wasn’t selling drugs, didn’t have a drinking problem. Compared to the ways God has worked in other people’s lives, my life seemed so tame. Then I started to realize that I did have a story, not so much about how God rescued me but about how he kept me safe. It’s a story about God’s power to preserve the life that has been dedicated to him.

My mother made sure that I was dedicated to the Lord when I was just starting out in life. Then she took me to church and taught me about Jesus. When I think about all the parents who have given their children to God, I just want to encourage them that God is still faithful, still able to watch over them. Even if their kids are having a hard time or are going to terrible schools or are threatened by some other kind of danger, I want to tell them not to give up. God can hear their prayers just like he heard my mother’s prayers for me. Because what you dedicate to God, he’s not going to let go of.” (pp. 164-171).

After reading this testimony, I was reminded again that no matter how big or small the problem, God is bigger still! And, He is faithful and trustworthy. When we approach Him for direction each year regarding what the plan for this school year should be, and make a decision, then we have to trust Him. Remember, you are not alone.  Many parents deal with the same challenges you face and they understand.  We need to rely on one another for support and encouragement. “But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first.” (Hebrews 3:13, 14). We have an awesome and powerful God who promises to give us His strength, and to never to leave us: “I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13). And, “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you’ (Hebrews 13:5). I know how difficult it is to watch our children walk through challenging situations, but we have to remember that God is developing their character and their faith, as well as ours.

Pressed out of measure (2 Cor. 1:18).

That the power of Christ may rest upon me (2 Cor. 12:9).

God allowed the crisis to close around Jacob on the night when he bowed at Peniel is supplication, to bring him to the place where he could take hold of God as he never would have done; and from that narrow pass of peril, Jacob became enlarged in his faith and knowledge of God, and in the power of a new and victorious life.

God had to compel David, by a long and painful discipline of years, to learn the almighty power and faithfulness of his God, and grow up into the established principles of faith and godliness, which were indispensable for his glorious career as the king of Israel.

Nothing but the extremities in which Paul was constantly placed could ever have taught him, and taught the church through him, the full meaning of the great promise he so learned to claim, “My grace is sufficient for thee.”

And nothing but our trials and perils would ever have led some of us to know Him as we do, to trust Him as we have, and to draw from Him the measures of grace which our very extremities made indispensible.

Difficulties and obstacles are God’s challenges to faith.  When hindrances confront us in the path of duty, we are to recognize them as vessels for faith to fill with the fullness and all-sufficiency of Jesus; and as we go forward, simply and fully trusting Him, we may be tested, we may have to wait and let patience have her perfect work; but we shall surely find at last the stone rolled away, and the lord waiting to render unto us double for our time of testing.                                                                                                     A.B. Simpson

Source: “ The Streams of Desert ”   Mrs. Charles E. Cowman

When you crack,

you leak a little, 

you put a band-aid on it

and give it a kiss.

If you put enough band-aids on

there won’t be anymore places to crack,

Every time you kiss it, you leave a bit of waxy lipstick buildup. 

Someday you will have an exceptional texture and a fine patina.

anonymous

In two separate conversations with two professors recently, I Peter 3:15 was brought up in the context of how college ministry does (or doesn’t) offer students collegiate-level answers to their faith-questions.

First, the verse:

but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect (I Pet. 3:15 ESV)

You may, like me, be more familiar with the translation that commands us to be ready to “give an answer,” but the exact wording here isn’t really the issue. (Though if the ESV reading is best, then it argues my point all the more, as you’ll see.)

In my discussions with those profs, both were concerned that college ministry by and large doesn’t know how to deal with students (or others in the college community) who ask the hard, academic, complex questions about Christianity. In other words, we don’t always offer our students a way to get answers that accord with the questions raised within the very setting in which we serve.

These professors’ concern is a concern worth hearing, especially because it comes from Christians who operate in that same world – and yet are uniquely suited to understanding the kind of answers needed within the university setting.

The author of the recent “Missional Campus Ministry” series at the Jesus Creed blog recently noted the same concern:

The university or college campus is a mission field in many ways – and the pressures on eager undergraduates on their own for the first time are immense. … The broad middle of the student population is a group in need of attention – and I appreciate the hard work that goes into evangelism, relationship, and discipleship in a wide range of active campus ministries.

But we need more than this as well…

We need to be able to ‘meet the university on its own terms: discussion of issues that matter in a way that meets the university’s own ideal standards of engagement, standards of both courteous respect and intellectual rigour.‘” [that last bit quoted from a post by John Stackhouse]

I happen to be somebody who has always been academically strong, and I know the loneliness of not knowing who – if anyone – might be able to help me navigate through the more complex issues that arise in our faith. Had my major or circumstances been even slightly different, it would have been quite easy for despair to set in – or worse. Because for all the greatness of the college ministry experience I had at Texas A&M, spiritual support for “smarties” wasn’t obvious at all.

Those two posts – on Jesus Creed and on John Stackhouse’s blog – go further into this and better into this. So I urge you to take a look.

The answers to this vital concern don’t require all college ministers to be bookworms or to be brilliant. But obeying – and helping our students obey – I Peter 3:15 will probably require a different preparation than if we were serving elsewhere.

All missionaries have to study answers to the questions of their unique tribe, right?

written from some Motel 6 in Eastern Ohio…

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Road Trip 13: Days 38 & 39 recap
recap: finished out my time at the college ministers’ conference, then flew back to Ohio to pick up my car and head eastward! (see all explorations so far)
T-shirts: the Eagle tribe of Emory, and the Hardrockers (!) of South Dakota School of Mines
thursday: on to Pittsburgh (and beyond), including connecting with Coalition for Christian Outreach national office people

My friend Wes recently described the effort he and his wife have given to try to enroll in classes at San Francisco State University. The Woodells are helping replant a church and hoping to connect to the nearby SFSU campus, and they feel this could be a powerful way to begin connecting. But sadly, the California budget crisis has erected barriers to enrollment – so after attempting this for a couple of semesters, they still can’t get in.

Wes’s post sums it up:

We must spend time with students, and nothing would validate our presence on campus better than being in classes with them. I’m confident we’ll get around this somehow, but this budget thing is definitely a bump in the road.

Meanwhile, on roughly that same side of the Northern Hemisphere, Nick Melazzo has been experiencing his own adventure. Last week Nick described his “cannonball run” to the border of Alberta, Canada, to file papers simply so he can stay in the country where he has resided for the past 5 years – and keep serving the students of the University of Calgary.

(See his quick post about that trip here, or see how things turned out here.)

Striving hard to overcome persistent obstacles to attending classes on campus?

Striving hard to stay in the country and continue to serve students?

Most of us don’t have to work hard to do either of those things.

But sometimes it’s inspiring (or convicting) to read of those who face obstacles, challenges, and requirements we don’t – and who choose to strive hard and fight the fight. So today, a double challenge for us to go to whatever lengths we’re called in order to reach (and impact) the campus tribes.

written from Holiday Inn, Cedar Falls, IA

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Road Trip 13: Day 37 recap
recap: first day at my second college ministry conference of this trip! (see all explorations so far)
new state: Iowa (#17)
T-shirt: the Quaker tribe of Penn
tuesday: day two with a conference of college ministers!

As we approach the Thanksgiving holiday, I know that for some people it is difficult to celebrate and be thankful.  We can’t ignore the fact that many people have lost their jobs and are struggling financial.  Others are struggling in difficult relationships or with a wayward child, and some are dealing with the loss of a loved one.

This past week, here in Texas, we had the terrible and senseless loss of 13 lives at Fort Hood.  Our hearts go out to the families of those who were slain and our prayers are with those who are still struggling with injuries.  At times like these it is easy to think there is nothing to be thankful for, and yet even in the midst of difficulty, tragedy and loss there are some things for which we can give thanks. 

In my own life, my dear mother was sadly killed at the young age of 55 during this time of year.  Certainly we do not give thanks for the terrible loss, but we can be thankful for God’s comfort and care.  The Bible says, “The righteous cry out and the Lord hears them and delivers them from all their troubles.  The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”  (Psalm 34:17,18)

In our situation, we thanked God for providing wonderful people to come to our side and comfort us.  We thanked God for the blessing that my mother’s life was to all of us, and how she blessed so many people with her godly heart.  We thanked God that many people turned back to God as a result of my mother’s sudden death, because they too saw the brevity of life. 

God’s Word offers us strength and comfort in times of difficulty.  Just this morning I read Psalm 107:

 ¹ “Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
       his love endures forever.

 ² Let the redeemed of the LORD say this—
       those he redeemed from the hand of the foe,

 ³ those he gathered from the lands,
       from east and west, from north and south.

 ⁴ Some wandered in desert wastelands,
       finding no way to a city where they could settle.

 ⁵ They were hungry and thirsty,
       and their lives ebbed away.

 ⁶ Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble,
       and he delivered them from their distress.

 ⁷ He led them by a straight way
       to a city where they could settle.

 ⁸ Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love
       and his wonderful deeds for men,

 ⁹ for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.”

We may not understand why the Lord has allowed trials in our lives, but we can trust His unfailing love.  He is our provider.  Look to him and seek His help through your pain and struggles.  Like the Psalmist, we can thank the Lord for His unfailing love in our life and thank Him for His care for us each day.