В детстве меня изрядно доставала древняя молдавская поговорка о пользе знаний:

Cine stie carte, are patru ochi.

Перевод: кто умеет читать, у того четыре глаза.

И надо же было случиться тому, что именно мне довелось с детства и уметь читать, и щеголять в очках разных фасонов. А очкариков у нас в жестком детском окружении гнобили пресловутым “четырехглазием”. Я полное дилберт-соответствие поговорке.

Эта поговорка была написана и в учебниках, и на стенах в школе, поэтому никто особо не хотел “уметь читать“, ведь это и по-поговорке, и по-жизни угрожало “четырехглазием”.

Благодаря дурацкой поговорке целый народ с детства предпочитает гастарбайтерствовать, а не “двигать науку”.

Dilbert - what about education?

Comic for November 16, 2009
(author unknown)
Mon, 16 Nov 2009 08:00:00 GMT

Le 'tit nouveau fait des siennes

Il vaut mieux se taire et passer pour un idiot que de l’ouvrir et de ne laisser aucun doute sur ce sujet

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(First blogged sometime in 2007, and reproduced here)

In case you guessed it, you are right. I am posting yet another unoriginal piece on my site, a forwarded message at that, but it was simply too irresistible. There are too many things happening, that have prevented me from writing on some key topics as regularly as I would have liked. I thought I would share masterpieces like this once in a while to remind me to write frequently on my site.

So, without further ado, here is a mail an employee wrote on his last day. Not sure how true this is – he either actually did do it, or had it on his drafts and shared it with friends. All said and done, it would have made Dilbert proud

Dear Co-Workers and Managers,

As many of you probably know, today is my last day. But before I leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been to type “Today is my last day.”

For nearly as long as I’ve worked here, I’ve hoped that I might one day leave this company. And now that this dream has become a reality, please know that I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack of support. Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express.

I would especially like to thank all of my managers both past and present but with the exception of the wonderful Saroj Hariprashad: in an age where miscommunication is all too common, you consistently impressed and inspired me with the sheer magnitude of your misinformation, ignorance and intolerance for true talent. It takes a strong man to admit his mistake – it takes a stronger man to attribute his mistake to me.

Over the past seven years, you have taught me more than I could ever ask for and, in most cases, ever did ask for. I have been fortunate enough to work with some absolutely interchangeable supervisors on a wide variety of seemingly identical projects – an invaluable lesson in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium.

Your demands were high and your patience short, but I take great solace knowing that my work was, as stated on my annual review, “meets expectation.” That is the type of praise that sends a man home happy after a 10 hour day, smiling his way through half a bottle of meets expectation scotch with a meets expectation cigar. Thanks Trish!

And to most of my peers: even though we barely acknowledged each other within these office walls, I hope that in the future, should we pass on the street, you will regard me the same way as I regard you: sans eye contact.

But to those few souls with whom I’ve actually interacted, here are my personalized notes of farewell:

To Philip Cress, I will not miss hearing you cry over absolutely nothing while laying blame on me and my coworkers. Your racial comments about Joe Cobbinah were truly offensive and I hope that one day you might gain the strength to apologize to him.

To Brenda Ashby whom is long gone, I hope you find a manager that treats you as poorly as you have treated us. I worked harder for you then any manager in my career and I regret every ounce of it. Watching you take credit for my work was truly demoralizing.

To Sylvia Keenan, you should learn how to keep your mouth shut sweet heart. Bad mouthing the innocent is a negative thing, especially when you’re talking about someone who knows your disgusting secrets.

To Bob Malvin (Mr. Cronyism Jr), well, I wish you had more of a back bone. You threw me to the wolves with that witch Brenda and I learned all too much from it. I still can’t believe that after following your instructions, I ended up getting written up, wow. Thanks for the experience buddy, lesson learned.

Don Merritt (Mr. Cronyism Sr), I’m happy that you were let go in the same manner that you have handed down to my dedicated coworkers. Hearing you on the phone last year brag about how great bonuses were going to be for you fellas in upper management because all of the lay offs made me nearly vomit. I never expected to see management benefit financially from the suffering of scores of people but then again, with this company’s rooted history in the slave trade it only makes sense.

To all of the executives of this company, Jamie Dimon and such, despite working through countless managers that practiced unethical behavior, racism, sexism, jealousy and cronyism, I have benefited tremendously by working here and I truly thank you for that. There was once a time where hard work was rewarded and acknowledged, it’s a pity that all of our positive output now falls on deaf ears and passes blind eyes. My advice for you is to place yourself closer to the pulse of this company and enjoy the effort and dedication of us “faceless little people” more. There are many great people that are being over worked and mistreated but yet are still loyal not to those who abuse them but to the greater mission of providing excellent customer support. Find them and embrace them as they will help battle the cancerous plague that is ravishing the moral of this company.

So, in parting, if I could pass on any word of advice to the lower salary recipient (“because it’s good for the company”) in India or Tampa who will soon be filling my position, it would be to cherish this experience because a job opportunity like this comes along only once in a lifetime. Meaning: if I had to work here again in this lifetime, I would sooner kill myself.

To those who I have held a great relationship with, I will miss being your co-worker and will cherish our history together.

Please don’t bother responding as at this very moment I am most likely in my car doing 85 with the windows down listening to Biggie.

 Cheers!

Vasu

I’m not much for generational warfare, so it seems to me that a lot of the negativity directed at baby boomers is misplaced. And I say this even after sitting through endless prescription drug commercials showing people in their fifties and sixties cavorting around beaches and pretending to be twenty-one, as if there is some kind of horrible shame in aging. Boomers represent the biggest single slice of the U.S. population, but they do not exercise absolute authority and therefore can’t be held responsible for every societal ill. Has the baby boom generation made mistakes? Sure they have, but no more so than the generations that authorized Jim Crow or tore up treaties with Native American tribes. Every era has its successes and failures and even though boomers have screwed up royally at times, they have also notched some major accomplishments.

É assim que sua equipe age no dia-a-dia?

Cuidado.

From/De: Xbox Press

Next Week the TV Transforms when Social Networking, Music and Movies Come Alive on Xbox 360

Facebook, Twitter, Last.fm and Zune video Launch Nov.17 on Xbox LIVE

The topic du jour was all about TV, but this morning at NewTeeVee Live – an industry conference that explores the future of television – Xbox LIVE general manager Marc Whitten confirmed the next wave of social entertainment is coming to Xbox LIVE on November 17. Starting next week, Facebook, Twitter, Last.fm and instant on HD video from Zune will be available on Xbox 360 consoles, transforming Xbox LIVE into the largest social network connected to the TV with exclusive features custom-designed for the living room. “We’re delivering some truly exciting social entertainment experiences to our members,” said Whitten. “Xbox LIVE’s differentiator has always been our community, and we’ve already seen a tremendous response to these features in our public preview.

It’s the community that drives us forward and allows us to pioneer new ways of connecting people through the entertainment they love.”

• Facebook*– Update your status to share what movie, game or entertainment you’re enjoying, connect with friends and view their Facebook stream, status updates and photos on the big screen – all seamlessly integrated and custom-built for Xbox 360. You can even compare your Xbox LIVE and Facebook friends lists to see which of your friends are on LIVE.

• Zune – Zune video on Xbox LIVE offers a full fidelity experience with instant on HD in 1080p and 5.1 channel surround sound. No waiting for downloads or buffering, it’s there at the press of a button. You can also share the experience with up to seven friends through voice chat and Avatar integration on the TV screen – it puts a whole new spin on “movie night.” 

• Twitter*– Stay in the know by discovering, posting and replying to Tweets right on your Xbox 360. You can even view friend profiles, trends and conversations, or search to see who’s tweeting about your favorite game.

• Last.fm* – Discover more music and explore endless personalized radio stations with Last.fm on Xbox 360. Skip, “ban” or “love” tracks to create your perfect mix—we’ve even built in “Gamer Stations” with game-related types of music selected specifically for the gaming community (Available in the U.S. and UK).

In addition to these social features, Xbox LIVE will also be debuting “News and More,” a new section of the “Inside Xbox” channel, transforming Xbox LIVE into a full-fledged media portal. With a regularly-updated stream of content from MSNBC, The New Yorker and Dilbert, “News and More” brings the latest in current events, arts and entertainment right to your fingertips. All of these features build on the wild success of Netflix on Xbox LIVE, which quickly established Xbox 360 as the most-used living room device for streaming Netflix content to the home1. Only on Xbox 360 can you find the best in movies, music, games and social networking all in one place, tailor-made for the TV and connected to more than 20 million people around the globe.

“From the launch of Xbox LIVE nearly seven years ago, to milestones like Video Marketplace, Netflix and the New Xbox Experience, we’ve continued working toward our vision of connected entertainment for everyone,” continued Whitten. “I’m proud to say that next week marks another great stride in fulfilling that promise, and we’re already imagining what the future has in store.” So what are you waiting for? On November 17, turn on your Xbox 360, log onto Xbox LIVE and enjoy the world of social entertainment at your fingertips. Not an Xbox LIVE Gold member? Starting November 20 (12 pm ET / 9 am PT) until November 23 (12 pm ET / 9 am PT) Xbox LIVE Silver members can enjoy the latest Gold features for FREE – including Facebook, Twitter and Last.fm! There’s tons more to experience with Gold as well. Play the latest game titles like “Halo 3: ODST” online multiplayer, participate in “1 vs. 100,” host an Xbox LIVE Party or even video chat with friends. All of these Gold-only features will be available all weekend long for anyone to try. 

* Xbox LIVE Gold adult account required to access these features. Xbox LIVE Gold memberships are just over $4 (U.S.) per month 

** Xbox LIVE members under the age of 18 will not be able to access Facebook and Twitter as part of the Free Gold Weekend

1 Source: One Touch Intelligence (www.onetouchintelligence.com), from October 2009 survey conducted in association with The Praxi Group, Inc. 

Scott Adams had a recent comic strip on White Papers…too funny:

I may have similar feelings about White Papers, but White Papers are not “unnecessary”.  There are many places where white papers are relevant, and some technology events require white papers to be submitted for opportunities to present as events.  In these cases, I have written white papers…I doubt many read them though, but my videos, which were based on these white papers, were actually watched.

Beyond being “necessary”, nobody really wants to read a white paper…seriously.  When was the last time you actually read a white paper because you “wanted” to?…I hear crickets…

“Dilbert” cartoonist Scott Adams for the first time, to my knowledge, has taken the baby-boom generation head on in his strip for today:

(The full-sized strip is at the end of this post.)

The “pointy-haired boss” of “Dilbert” for years has been the quintessential baby boomer, utterly clueless and incompetent yet in charge of the whole show nonetheless — and in possession of wildly exaggerated views of his own competence, talents and worth.

The title character of Dilbert, I do believe, is a member of my generation, Generation X (which is probably why I’ve always loved “Dilbert”). Dilbert incessantly struggles to do a good job despite the obstacles that his incompetent baby-boomer boss puts in his way.

Today’s “Dilbert” strip has Asok, a member of Generation Y, I believe, flat-out telling the “pointy-haired boss”: “Your [generation] has destroyed the hopes of my entire generation.”

Yup.

Not that the boomers give a flying fuck that they are the first generation in the history of the United States of America that didn’t give a shit about leaving the nation in better shape for the next generation than the nation was when they inherited it.

I would say that the boomers’ mentality always has been “Get mine and get out,” except that they always got not only what was theirs but also what wasn’t theirs, but what belonged to their children and to successive generations. Like cancerous tumors, the boomers just can’t get enough at the expense of the whole (that’s why I’ve also thought of the boomers as Generation Swine), and their greed has brought the entire nation — indeed, the entire world — to the brink of collapse. 

Ironically, the boomers apparently thought that things would collapse right after their deaths, but their unbridled, hordes-of-locust-like greed has been such that we are seeing the catastrophic results of their utter selfishness and irresponsibility sooner (as in now) rather than later.  

The boomers’ legacy will include such things as stolen presidential elections, bogus wars in the Middle East (only perpetuating the terrorist threat from there for years to come) and environmental devastation (including melting polar ice caps, for fuck’s sake) and economic devastation that will affect generations to come.

There are exceptions that are far and few between, but even the most progressive boomers tend to show central boomer traits, such as materialism (even their “spirituality,” such as “The Secret” bullshit, is about materialism) and a refusal to acknowledge the damage that their generation has done to the generations succeeding them.

I wonder if Adams is going to continue the discussion, and I wonder if a larger national discussion about the worthlessness of the baby boomers is going to follow.

I hope…

P.S. The Wikipedia entry on Scott Adams notes that he was born in 1957 — which makes him a baby boomer. He is one of the rare exceptions, one of the few boomers who will admit that the baby-boom generation dropped the ball on the American dream, which is that each generation would make things better for the generations that follow it.

When we finally round the boomers up for Carousel (or maybe for Soylent Green [or for both]), perhaps we can give Adams an exemption…

Sometimes I wonder what kind of office Scott Adams used to work in; the people there must have been really forward-thinking in their cubicle insanity, given how accurate nearly every one of his strips is.

Let’s examine the points made by Dilbert here:

Ten Minutes of Explanation. This one is my personal favorite when it comes to doing things I don’t want to do. I’ll often find ways to foist a task back onto the person requesting it by saying I need more information or I don’t have time or my computer is updating. Anything to avoid actually doing a distasteful task, even if it’s a quick one. Yesterday, for example, I had to build a test page on one of our websites. It’s drudgery, it’s annoying to do, and if even one step is missed the entire thing has to be started over. If I do it right, it takes 20 minutes.

I put it off for almost four hours. The person I was doing it for totally accepted my BS explanation.

Incompetence. I’ve always been good at this one. When I worked for an office supply store, one of my tasks was cleaning the floor. I have never, ever been any good at floor-related cleaning tasks (except mopping; I’m good at mopping). Vacuuming the carpet in my area was a nightmare, and I was often asked to vacuum the carpeting in the furniture area as well. My coworkers eventually figured out that I was no good at it, but when I worked in the copy center, I was the only one who could do the job. I actually almost got written up because my vacuuming was so bad.

Company Policy. Whenever I didn’t want to do something before the reorg, I would simply say it was company policy for me not to do it. Most notably when artists and photographers were supposed to write their own copy. I could do it faster, and I could do it better, but it was technically their job to do it. (Still is, I suppose.) The whole point of it was to get them to be better at their jobs by getting more practice, but they just did it half-assed and it became my job to fix it so my work didn’t look crappy. Company policy always comes back to bite you in the ass.

Forgetfulness. I keep a list of everything I have to do. I actually write it on paper. I tried putting it in Outlook, but that was a failure; I never felt like I accomplished anything. Nowadays, with e-mail being the primary form of requesting people to do things, it’s easy to simply say “your e-mail got lost” or “I deleted it by accident” or “it’s in my inbox but I missed it between these other tasks”. You can still forget things; it just takes more work.

Falsehood. This is the one that always made me feel bad when I used it. I only ever used it sparingly, and really only when I was pissed off at a co-worker or customer. The perk of doing the kinds of jobs I do is that, for the most part, people don’t actually know what I’m capable of. I can lie about my time, my skills, software I use, my workload, whatever. I usually get the job done, but a carefully applied lie is a great way to buy some time.

Which of these is the one you use the most?

Són moltes les tècniques utilitzades per l’ésser humà al llarg de la història per realitzar curacions i arreglar problemes. Tècniques ancestrals que han passat de generació en generació i que avui en dia encara es segueixen utilitzant tot i l’aparició de la medicina moderna i tècniques revolucionaries basades en nous descobriments i tecnologia que fins ara no havia existit (òbviament).

Però hi ha una tècnica que no té una gran història però dia a dia s’està fent un lloc entre les tècniques més usades entre la humanitat. Una tècnica simple, fàcil d’aplicar, accessible a totes les classes socials, sexes i religions. És la tècnica del reinici. Tècnica utilitzada per arreglar qualsevol desgràcia tecnològica, que no et va el PC, reinicia, que no et va l’IPhone, reinicia, que no et va el mp3, reinicia, no et va la impressora, reinicia, no et va la nevera (si si cas verídic que va viure el nostre apreciat Edu), reinicia…i tot torna a funcionar amb normalitat. Perquè estudiar 3 o 5 anys d’una carrera tecnològica si saps que acabaràs utilitzant la tècnica del reinici? Així estan de buides les universitats de ciències, la gent no és tonta  i passen de les carreres tecnològiques, perquè desaprofitar el temps estudiant una carrera tècnica si pots tenir  Humanitats (amb tots els respectes pels humanitaris) i conèixer la millor tècnica del món !!!  Malauradament aquesta tècnica no serveix en persones humanes i no pots reiniciar el teu marit o esposa, ni tant sols el teu fill quan treu males notes i creus que es per culpa d’una errada en el sistema. La tècnica  està limitada a les coses amb cables (com anomena la meva mare als meus estudis universitaris).

La veritat és que jo sempre he confiat en aquesta tècnica, fe cega (segurament deformació professional), com la de Guardiola amb Chygrynskiy, el New Team amb Oliver o jo mateix amb Roger Grimau però us haig de dir que no és infalible…sense anar més lluny, divendres em va fallar. Semblava un cas de llibre, servidor bloquejat, sense resposta, només calia prémer el Reset i tot tornaria a ser com abans. Però aquesta vegada no va ser així el servidor després de reiniciar va dir que no (un finger a la cara amb tota regla), vaig tornar-ho a provar una vegada i un altre com el Doctor Macizo a Anatomia de Grey en un massatge cardiovascular a la desesperada…però res de res. Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip. Res ja no és el mateix des d’aleshores, ara per ara porto una inseguretat a sobre terrible, pitjor que pujar en Taxi pel Cairo, penso que tot pot fallar en qualsevol moment i no hi haurà solució, efectivament, he perdut la fe en el reinici. Si això no canvia hauré de deixar la feina perquè un dels pilars que sustentava la meva professionalitat ja no funciona, i el què és més greu quan em truquin els meus amics i em diguin: ‘He tinc un  ‘pantallazo blau’ al PC que faig?’ Ja no els podré dir allò de ‘Reinicia’.

Outch ! encore un chat noir...

Je ne suis pas superstitieux … ça porte malheur…

de toute façons je l’ai fait exprès car  s’il n’en reste qu’un je serais celui-là… 

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Canon wingfic, you guys.

(If the layout is cutting off the last panel, click here.)

I’m that guy. The one with the tons of toys in the cubicle. Well, not so much anymore after the reorg, but I still have about ten in plain sight including an old-school Transformer that one guy was totally enamored with.

When I first started putting toys at my cubicle, it was to single myself out as the weird guy, the one who has a personality — to, you know, combat the perception that I was just another web geek who did stuff no one understood. It worked brilliantly, let me tell you. At the new cube, since I’m not technically a web guy (the people on the next floor up do most of the actual customer-facing web design), I’m trying to cut back a bit but it’s not really working. Mostly because the people who sit in this area with me are actually weirder than I am.

Who knew?

Charlando con Luthien hace unos días, salió en la conversación los problemas neurológicos chungos, como es el caso de la Afasia, y recordé que Scott Adams, el creador de la popular viñeta cómica Dilbert sufría una de estas enfermedades chungas que le impedía hacer tareas cotidianas, aunque por supuesto no pude recordar el nombre exacto de la enfermedad.

Ayer me acordé de la conversación y me puse a buscar algo de información, y por supuesto la encontré en Microsiervos (todo lo interesante que hayas leído/visto alguna vez está en Microsiervos), donde en este artículo detallan los problemas de Scott Adams en su día a día, ya que desde hace pocos años padece Distonía focal y Disfonía espasmódica. La primera de ellas le impide dibujar, lo que para una persona que se gana la vida así debió ser traumático, aunque posteriormente logró ‘engañar‘ a su cerebro dibujando con una tableta gráfica. La segunda enfermedad es igual de rara, y le impide hablar con otras personas en un tono normal, aunque no tiene ningún problema en hablar ante una multitud en convenciones y charlas.

Os recomiendo que leáis el artículo original en Microsiervos porque es ciertamente interesante y detallan muchos más aspectos de estas dos enfermedades y de del esfuerzo de Adams por superarlas.

Portatil estropeado (click para ampliar)

El aprendiz (click para ampliar)

El cursor del ratón (click para ampliar)