i took some adderall and felt a ‘ boost’ of energy

i felt in control of ‘ things’

i had a need to go on the internet

i went on facebook and looked at my new friends

6 hours went by and i was alone in the library, looking up things on the internet

‘damn’

‘ fuck’

the effects of the adderall have died down and now i feel ‘ tired’ and useless

i should of done something

the lonliness button in my brain broke or something

what happened to my overwhelming feelings of  ‘ lonliness and despair ‘

i feel like those feelings will come back

i am afraid of those feelings coming back

those feelings feel  familiar

familiar like the voice of your mother or something

i sometimes think about people that i hate

i imagine a shark eating all of those people

i should draw a picture of a shark on my wall next to my bed

i should get some  sheets with sharks on them

i get a really intense feeling of ‘ comfort’

when i a picture the face of a person who was an ‘ asshole’ to me

in the jaws of large shark

hehe

hehe

hehe

seems funny

i should write something down about ‘ getting drunk’

drinking improves my life

i think

i know

wait

not sure

seems fun

As I strode through the corridors of the apartment building I happen to inhabit together with a spectrum of personalities, what seemed alarmingly like a public notification on the wall nearly broke my poise. It was in fact an ode to careful planning and execution; the electricity meters of this prehistoric working class building were due maintenance that would eventually result in half an hour without electricity one apartment at a time… over a span of two to three days… in an unannounced order (if any).

Now, I’m not one to usually pass judgement on such minor setbacks, but waking up with a melted freezer and teriyaki sauce scented oceans all over the floorboards is prone to drive a hardened pacifist on an uncontrolled homicidal spree, let alone a pacifist whose daily rituals include uninterrupted moments (read: hours) of bliss with his one true goddess: coffee. People have gone to war for much, much less. So, with ass sweaty, hair curled of air humidity and facial expression worse than a scavenger bird’s butt, I was thirsting for revenge. The question is as follows:

Who should I take it out on? Who deserves to be butt-hurt?

Well, in all honesty, who doesn’t? But as the slew of them are more or less grey matter to me, scentless and tasteless despite of all the common bad qualities in people, it would be downright absurd to pour the unleashed energy of frustration unto such measly pests – like pearls for the swine. So, I do what every young, healthy, intelligent man in this world would do: Log on to the multiplayer game of his choosing and bully the weakest of the herd.

As with many other simple pleasures in life, this one’s no different and is best enjoyed with like-minded friends. One can but wonder what is there so intellectually alluring about behaving childish and lame on the internet while remaining conscious of it’s unambiguous mindlessness, but if you’ve never been on Battle.net, you’ve missed out on one of the most bizarre forms of art in the history of all sentient beings. On a more personal level, I simply find it cathartic in small doses, but the inner anthropologist-linguist in me can’t help but glare in amazement every time a Battle.net native loosely related to man opens up his treasure chest of a vocabulary.

Most of the unintelligible gutterspeak they spew out of course is nothing new to anyone who’s been around on the internet for a while and has been introduced to online gaming, but there is one particular new trend that is beyond all etymological analysis: “eazed”. Apparently it is a taunting war cry of sorts after successfully slaying or otherwise humiliating your foe, but what exactly is it supposed to mean? At first glance it would seem like it has something to do with ease, but if you just “eased” yourself it only sounds like you just crapped and/or wet your pants. If you “eased” someone else – which presumably but indefinitely is the case – wouldn’t you be doing him a favor? In the case of humiliating your opponent by making him crap his pants, you would be doing yourself a disfavor as well, unless of course you happen to like excrement and urea that much. It is also worth noting that it is not (yet) possible to smell anything over the internet and (dead) animated characters rarely have to go to the men’s room anyway.

The term is also commonly seen in connections such as “game eazed”, apparently involving the “eazement” of everyone present, and the occasional abbreviation (not confirmed) “ez”. It doesn’t seem to be doing anything either, like an abracadabra of sorts but without the effect.

I’ve seen and done it all: old school BBS, IRC, newsgroups, world wide wank, message boards, games, blogs – you name it – yet this piece of gaming jargon is quite possibly the single most retarded term I’ve come across in all my life. This ridicule as so many others before was so kindly pointed out to me by the very same curiously perceptive friend of mine with whom I continued the quest for peace of mind by joining in on the retardation, teaming up on significantly weaker rookie players who never stood a chance mano-a-mano, keeping them at bay while brainlessly flooding “eazed” and “ez” in capital letters until he takes it personally and everyone else is seemingly getting all worked up as well.

Well whaddaya know, it actually worked. It got me laughing out loud which normally never occurs even in good company, so I guess it was a magic word after all. And yet it still makes no sense.

On a somewhat related side note, traditional sense of humor simply doesn’t work for a very simple reason; It’s predictable and thus boring and gets old before even seeing daylight. Anything that manages to harness the essence of randomness with a light touch of wit and mask it from the general public in the form of simple childishness, such as repetition… well, the argument can be made whether or not it is humor, but to get it right is definitely a delicate form of art.

cooked vegetable (see below)
1 ½ cup chicken broth
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 teaspoon flour (tapioca, arrowroot, wheat)
seasonings based on above vegetable (see chart, below)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1 cup rice milk

In a blender container or food processor bowl combine the cooked vegetable and ¾ cup of the chicken broth. Cover and blend or process about 1 minute or till smooth. Set aside.

In a medium saucepan put oil, flour, seasonings, salt, and pepper. Add milk all at once. Cook and stir till slightly thickened and bubbly. Cook 1 minute more. Stir in vegetable mixture and remainng broth. Cook and stir till heated through. If necessary, add additional milk to make of desired consistency. Season to taste.
Serves 3 or 4 side-dish servings.

Acorn Squash
Scrape flesh from peel after cooking.
¼ t ground ginger or ground cinnamon

Pumpkin
Scrape flesh from peel after cooking.
¼ t ground ginger or ground cinnamon

Asparagus
3 cups cut asparagus or one 10-ounce package frozen cut asparagus
½ teaspoon finely shredded lemon peel and 1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg

Broccoli
3 cups broccoli flowerets or one 10-ounce package frozen cut broccoli
1 teaspoon snipped thyme or ¼ teaspoon dried thyme, crushed

Brussel Sprouts
2 cups brussel sprouts or one 10-ounce package frozen brussel sprouts
1 teaspoon snipped marjoram or ¼ teaspoon dried marjoram, crushed

Carrots
2 ½ cups sliced carrots or loose-pack frozen crinkle-cut carrots
1 tablespoon snipped parsley
1 teaspoon snipped basil or ¼ teaspoon dried basil, crushed

Cauliflower
3 cups cauliflower flowerets or one 10-ounce package frozen cauliflower
½ to ¾ teaspoon curry powder

Celery
2 ½ cups sliced celery
1 teaspoon snipped dillweey or basil or ¼ teaspoon dried dillweed or basil, crushed

Green Beans
3 cups cut green beans or one 10-ounce package frozen cut green beans
1 teaspoon snipped savory or ¼ teaspoon dried savory, crushed

Mushrooms
5 cups sliced fresh mushrooms
½ teaspoon snipped thyme or 1/8 teaspoon dried thyme, crushed, and, if desired,
1 tablespoon dry sherry

Onion
2 ½ cups chopped onion
1 teaspoon worcestershire sauce (contains wheat and soy, I believe) and
1 clove garlic, minced

Peas
2 ½ cups shelled peas or one 10-ounce package frozen peas
1 teaspoon snipped sage; ¼ teaspoon dried sage, crushed
2 teaspoon snipped mint; or ¼ teaspoon dried mint, crushed

Potatoes
3 medium potatoes, peeled and cubed, or 1 ¾ cup mashed, cooked potatoes
1 teaspoon snipped dillweed or ¼ teaspoon dried dillweed

Spinach
16 cups fresh spinach or one 10-ounce package frozen spinach
½ teaspoon snipped tarragon; 1/8 teaspoon dried tarragon, crushed; or 1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg

Sweet Potato
1 ¾ cup roasted sweet potato
1/8 t. curry powder
3 shakes of nutmeg

Zucchini
3 cups sliced zucchini or yellow summer squash
1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg

At first I thought some Nimrod has attached the family pet to the rear bumper of the car with masking tape.  I could see the legs wiggling stiffly so I figured it was some catch got your tongue since of wicked evil humor that some pervert was displaying.  As I drew closer I saw that the thing was too small to be a pet.  It was made of plastic an had a circular target drawn in it’s abdomen.  Some Numb Nutts had attached a plastic deer to the back of his SUV.  Whenever slowed to a stop the legs wiggled.  What a tool.  What a dillweed dork.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This little ditty could be titled “How I Loathe Ya” or “How I Love Ya.” Depends on your mood. It was quite a collaborative effort and has been called either. There is a bouncy little melody that goes with this (Oh, it is SO precious). Someday, I may include audio. It’s a song about how you can call people really silly names as sort of a way to vent, but you don’t mean any real harm toward them.

How I Love/Loathe Ya

You are …

An infected monkey butt hair with sour applesauce

From the first day that I found you I wish that you’d got lost

You are…

Rancid raccoon road kill splattered on my lawn

When you’re in my nightmares I am praying for the dawn

How I love ya (x3)

You are …

A quart of curdled milk stinking up my fridge

When I get a whiff of you I jump off of the bridge

I wish …

You had a porcupine deep inside your pants

It would really hurt when you do your dance

How I love ya (x3)

You are …

A wacked out piece of poo and a dippy doodle head

If I were a bad man, I’d wish that you were dead

You’ve got …

Tapeworms in your gut and chiggers on your scalp

When you hang around, I think that I may Ralph

How I love ya (x3)

You are …

Stinky slimy sewage in a port-o-pot

You make me want to hurl a phlegm ball full of snot

You are …

A sniveling little dillweed who clearly is insane

Every time you speak you show you’ve got no brain

I don’t wish you any real harm

Only so you know you lack all of the charm

I hope you become a man instead of staying such a boy

And to call you all these names brings me real joy

How I love ya (x6)

Not much

By Paul J. Hoffman and Kimberly S. Bush

7/20/2008

Flying Tomato Farms News

A newsletter for members of Flying Tomato Farms C.S.A.

Vol. 4, Issue 6

GARDEN NEWS:
Reusable delivery bags are coming next week! I have entered into a barter arrangement with local artist, Susan Heggestad, to sew delivery bags and screenprint them with my logo (which she also designed, a few years ago). To see the project in progress, visit her website at suegnu.blogspot.com.

How I’d like to work this bag arrangement is to pick up the previous week’s (empty) bag when I deliver the following week’s produce. I have enough extra bags to do this, provided I can pick up the previous week’s bags on a weekly basis. If you are not planning on being home on Tuesday afternoon, you can leave your bag hanging from your doorknob for me to take when I deliver. If you forget to return your bag (and end up with two bags), I’ll simply deliver your produce in a plastic bag until I can collect the reusable ones.

If you are leaving town and have asked me to deliver to another address, I will simply use a regular plastic grocery bag that week, so you don’t have to go looking for your bag. I don’t object to your using the bags for other shopping (hint: farmers market?), just try to get them back to me the following week and not to be too hard on them—I’m hoping they’ll last several seasons without needing major repairs.

If this arrangement sounds too problematic for your lifestyle, feel free to contact me prior to next week’s delivery, and let me know you’d prefer to continue receiving your delivery in re-used plastic grocery bags. No problem!

The mosquitoes are terrible in the gardens—a side effect, I’m sure, of all that rain a couple week’s ago. I have been going out in the mornings and evenings and working under cover of long pants and sleeves and bug repellent, but they always manage to find a little niche to bite!

I have been following the news on the salmonella outbreak with fresh tomatoes fairly closely, and wrote an article about it on my blog this past week. This sort of thing always seems to bring out conspiracy theorists in droves—ranting about terrorist plots and making racist comments about immigrant farm workers. But, outbreaks of this scale are simply one of the unfortunate side-effects of our massive industrial food system. Still, it bears reminding to always wash your produce, and to wash all surfaces with hot soapy water that have come into contact with raw animal foods.

THIS WEEK’S DELIVERY:
Sugar snap peas, romaine lettuce, buttercrunch lettuce, dillweed, and baby turnips with greens.

Last week I thought it’d be two weeks before the peas were ready—but some things come faster than expected (and some things slower). To me, sugar snaps are the best of both pea worlds—you can eat the pod, unlike shell peas, and they are sweeter than any snow peas I’ve tasted. These are the heirloom variety simply called “Sugar Snap.” Their vines will grow about 6-8 feet tall over their brief life span before they succumb to the heat of July and powdery mildew, dropping their production and finally killing them. Their brief season causes me to take very seriously the direction to “plant as soon as the ground can be worked”—these seeds were sown in late March.

You do not need to shell sugar snaps (you wouldn’t find much inside)—you can eat them raw or saute them briefly with butter/oil and sesame seeds for a real treat. Or maybe you prefer butter/oil and dillweed shippings? Either way, they are one of my favorite spring treats, and hopefully they will be coming on for three or four more weeks.

This is the last delivery of lettuce for awhile—the buttercrunch is getting a slight hint of bitterness that says it’s at the end of its lifecycle. There are more romaines in the garden from a second planting—but they are still too small to harvest. This week’s romaines are all “Winter Density.”

Dillweed is an annual herb that is often used in Eastern European and Scandanavian cooking. It brightens potato salads as well as fish or chicken dinners, and it is indispensable in chilled savory soups. Dillweed loses much of its flavor when dried, but you can save its freshness for the fall and winter months by pureeing it with vegetable oil and storing it in your refrigerator or freezer—scooping out a little when you want it (or freeze the puree in a metal ice cube tray).

This technique works well for other herbs as well—fresh basil, cilantro, parsley. You can also make a pesto with dill (or any other herb either singly or in combination) using your choice of cheese, oil, and nuts, plus garlic. Dill puree also makes a great dip or dressing mixed with plain yogurt and a few snipped chives.

The best way to store your dill bunch is to fill a glass with a couple inches of cold water, snip off the bottom of the stalks, and put the bunch in the water like a little bouquet—then place in the fridge. Still—it will only remain at its peak freshness for a couple of days—so use or freeze quickly.

This will be the last delivery of turnips this year—these are mostly “Purple Top White Globe” with some “Scarlet Queen Red Stems” as well. The first year I did the Community Supported Agriculture shares, I delivered turnips for six weeks straight. I have since curbed my enthusiasm for these spicy spring roots, and I don’t plant nearly so many. But their close relative, Rutabaga (or Swede Turnip) will make its appearance in fall deliveries.

Coming soon: carrots and baby beets with tender greens!

Remember to
WASH YOUR VEGGIES!

Wie euch vielleicht schon aufgefallen ist, haben wir eine Vorliebe für niedliche Monster. Aber sind wir deswegen albern? Keineswegs. Denn diese lustigen Gesellen sind Kunstwerke. Entworfen wurden sie von den Künstlern Mateo und Johan Potma aus der Zozoville Galerie und angefertigt wurden sie in liebevoller Handarbeit hier in Berlin. Mehr Fotos und Details nach dem Klick.

Dillweed wurde von Johan Potma entworfen und ist für 129 EUR erhältlich.

Spongo wurde entworfen von Mateo und kostet 99 EUR. Beide Plüschtiermonster gibt es exklusiv in einer sehr limitierten Auflage in der Zozoville Galerie. Wenn ihr die Monster von Mateo und Johan mögt, dann schaut euch mal ihren Kalender und ihr Box Set Portfolio an. Lest außerdem das Interview mit Mateo, was wir vor kurzem mit ihm geführt haben.

Zozoville Gallery

Mainzerstr. 12

10247 Berlin

www.zozoville.com