The paranoia is in bloom, the PR
The transmissions will resume
They’ll try to push drugs
Keep us all dumbed down and hope that
We will never see the truth around

Another promise, another scene, another
A package not to keep us trapped in greed
With all the green belts wrapped around our minds
And endless red tape to keep the truth confined

They will not force us
They will stop degrading us
They will not control us
We will be victorious

Interchanging mind control
Come let the revolution take it’s toll if you could
Flick the switch and open your third eye, you’d see that
We should never be afraid to die

Rise up and take the power back, it’s time that
The fat cats had a heart attack, you know that
Their time is coming to an end
We have to unify and watch our flag ascend

They will not force us
They will stop degrading us
They will not control us
We will be victorious

They will not force us
They will stop degrading us
They will not control us
We will be victorious

-UPRISING by MUSE on their latest album THE RESISTANCE released on September 2009 (the album is great, it’s all about revolution)

I’ve been listening to MUSE this day, (because I just bought their album. Yeah that’s right, after almost 3 months of waiting.) and I can’t help but notice the lyrics. If only our “fellow countrymen” could hear this song and live by it, this could be the El Fili and Noli of the new generation! This could make them realize what many of our politicians secretly do (bluntly speaking, the song perfectly hits many of the polticians here, no offense). So now that the elections are coming closer, we should try to think and evaluate the candidates through this song, who won’t control us? Who won’t lie to us? Who won’t be greedy enough to steal our money? This questions are a bit hard to answer huh? But that’s our responsibility as a voter! Let’s do this! For a brighter Philippines!

I’ve been posting song lyrics these past few days because I’ve been doing nothing interesting except for listening to my playlist.

Bueno como hoy no hay mucho que postear debido a que las “celebridades” al parecer se tomaron un descanso por las festividades del thanksgiving, les dejo unas fotos de Jessica Alba luciendo como una sirvienta latina, a J.Lo comprando ¿libros? aunque no lo crean, y a Tila Tequila enseñando los pezones en un intento mas por llamar la atencion.

click en las pics para agrandar

JESSICA “NO SOY LATINA” ALBA DE SIRVIENTA

J. LOL COMPRANDO EL LIBRO VAQUEROTILA TEQUILA Y SUS PEZONES

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It really bothered me seeing all those pieces of paper on the street in Jounieh (for a bank that I won’t name )! Usually when ATMs are inside the bank, they have a trash can next to them (which minimizes the thrown tickets), but when the ATM is on the street, it can get really messy! Good thing we have Ella to calm us down Here’s a song dedicated to you! ‘It’s Only A Paper Moon’ by Ella Fitzgerald. Have a lovely day

LOL para los que dudaban acerca de el “talento” de esta bitch he aqui la prueba, en un intento mas por llamar la atencion Tila se filmo mientras realizaba un intento de striptease, tacones y lenceria incluidos, el resultado es uno de los momentos mas graciosos que he visto, ni siquiera fue capaz de hacer “su trabajo”, se nota que para lo unico que sirve es para mostrar su tetas y cobrar 500 dolares por blow job… XD

A money-saving 2m water recycling plant will help towards cleaner manufacturing, a carpet company claims…. From BBC News. Full story

This site may contain information about: tidal ocean. For a different topic see here. The blog is also related to: sea surface temperatures.

Rihanna had a very fun interview with Angie Martinez recently. I love her sense of humor here:

On the pics of her grabbing boobs online:
There are tons of those pictures. I grab boobies all the time, I’m obessesed. I don’t have much so anytime I see a good rack I’m like “wow, I wish mine looked and felt like that”. Women are beautiful. I’m not into them but they are hot.

On her nude photos leaking:
Which ones? The hot ones? They should be hot, they were for my boyfriend at the time. If you don’t send your boyfriend naked pictures then I feel bad for him. Trust me I was [freaked out], that was the worst thing that could possibly ever happen to me. I just feel like my privacy was taken before that and then when that came out I was like “Oh great! So, Now there is nothing they don’t know about my private life”. It was humiliating and embarrassing, especially my mom having to see that and it was two days before Mother’s Day so I was nervous…

On what people think about her
I am misunderstood alot at times. My music, my image. People have their whole thing about me. Whether it be me being a devil worshipper or whatever the hell. I’m just being me and I’m just making music the way I would without any influences. Just me and my personal life. I just said everything I wanted to say. I even cursed a few times.

On the flack from the Diane Sawyer Interview
I expected that. It’s an obvious thing to do. They think that I have an agenda to destroy his career and that’s not what that interview was about for me. There are more creative ways to do that. That interview was solely about these young girls. Just inspiring them and being the voice for them and talking about my situation so that they can have something to hold on to. The hotline went up crazy because finally they had the courage to call the hotline and say “I’m going through this, I want to get out of this relationship”. I mean women who wanted to commit suicide so say what you want but we are saving lives here.

On taking responsibility for being in a dysfunctional relationship:
It was a learning experience for the both of us. There was alot of insecurities and control issues but it was definitely a learning experience because in relationships in the future I know to watch out for certain things. Alot of those were signs. I learned that in the end. There were signs..

On being a role model
What’s your definition of a role model? I represent alot of things. I’m also realistic in the lifestyle. I’m not a saint and everyone knows that. I can only be myself. It’s nothing I want more than for everyone to be themselves. Another thing, for the past 8 months, everything I’ve been through, It’s led me to this whole “I don’t give an F” attitude because people say things all the time. Even when you try to please them, it’s something else so the only thing you can do is be you. They are always going to say something so all I can do is be me.

On Dating Tristan, Drake, Rasheed, & Andrew
I don’t have [Tristan's] phone number. Give me someone that’s hot and older. Me and Drake are still friends actually. [We hung out] a few times but no, never. Rasheed Lewis. Never even met him but apparently I was trying to break up his family. Andrew Bynum, we went on two dates apparently. Never met him either. I’m actually not dating. I just flirt…

On her break up with Chris Brown
It was difficult. It was a difficult process and a long one. Also my music helped me alot. Being in the studio was therapeutic. I got to vent. There was no cameras, there was no media. You don’t even realize when you are okay cause in your mind it’s just a fight non-stop with yourself trying to get through it and then one day you’ll see something and it doesn’t have the same effect on you as before, it’s like “wooooow”. I’ve gotten over it and now I’m free of that.

On why her hand was covering her eye on the album cover
Because I am a devil worshipper what are you talking about *<==in a joking voice*

Sade’s new album cover for Soldier of Love is beautiful. Her first studio album in nine years hits stores in February of next year!! Im super excited about this, I LOVE Sade, so soothing, passionate and sexy, how can you nopt love this woman?

Awh look, its Kim Kardashian for Carls Jr.. They really are crazy! The only fast food I know that enlists Sexy A list celebrities for their advertising! Remeber when Paris Hilton was gettin all sexy washing a car for their ad last year?

funny

Cleaning the refrigerator helps keep the food you store inside fresh. By keeping science experiments and spills to a minimum, the food that is stored in your refrigerator will not take on the scent or flavor of other foods.

In order to properly clean your refrigerator, follow these simple steps.

1. Turn the temperature control knob to the off position. Your fridge will be open for a while, so there is no sense in having your fridge run and waste electricity.
2. If you have a drip pan underneath your fridge, remove it.
3. Take everything out of the refrigerator and put it on the counter nearby.
4. Throw away spoiled food, anything that is moldy, expired or hasn’t been used in more than a month or two.
5. Take the shelves, wire racks and drawers out of the refrigerator.
6. Wash the shelves and wire racks in warm soapy water, using regular dish soap and a sponge or cloth. Use a soft scrub brush if there is caked or dried on food or spills. Let the shelves and wire racks dry on newspaper or in a dish rack.
7. Empty out the drawers and dump out any residue or food matter from the bottom. Wash the drawers by hand with warm soapy water and a dish cloth or sponge. Let the drawers air dry on newspaper, towels or in a dish rack.
8. Wipe away any food matter from the bottom of the refrigerator with a wash cloth or paper towel.
9. Fill a bucket with warm, soapy water (mild dish detergent is fine). Wash the inside walls of the fridge using a dish cloth or sponge and the warm soapy water. Wash inside all the compartments and inside the door racks. Use a soft scrubbing sponge for caked or dried on food or spills.
10. Rinse the inside of the fridge with a clean sponge or dish cloth and clean warm water.
11. Replace all the shelves, wire racks and drawers.
12. As you are putting food back into your fridge, using your warm, soapy wash cloth, wipe off to clean and dry any sticky or messy jars, canisters, etc. You can now put all your food back into the fridge. Turn the temperature knob back to the “on” position at the recommending temperature setting.
13. Wash the outside of the refrigerator and the rubber molding around the fridge door with warm soapy water. Rinse with a clean cloth and wipe dry with paper towel or a dish towel.

If you need to control odor in your refrigerator, use 2 tablespoons of baking soda in one quart of warm water to wash the inside of the fridge. Subsequently, you can also use one cup of vinegar in a quart of water and wash the inside of the fridge. Remember to rinse when you are finished though. Placing a fresh, open box of baking soda in your fridge will also cut down on odors.

A few times a year, you should pull your refrigerator out and vacuum the condenser coils at the back. They have a tendency to get dusty and could cause a fire if there happened to be a spark.

You should never use harsh abrasives, scouring pads or harsh cleaners in your refrigerator. Abrasives, scouring pads and harsh cleaners can damage the finish inside your refrigerator and compromise the integrity of the lining which could cost you more in energy to keep the refrigerator cool.

Article by: doityourself.com

A bathroom toilet should be cleaned on a regular basis. It is a horrible job, but if you keep up with the cleaning it shouldn’t be that difficult. No one likes to clean toilets but it has to be done. You don’t want it to look disgusting, smell bad, or be a place where germs like to breed. If you follow the guidelines below should help make your toilet looking clean and germ free.

Cleaning Equipment You’ll Need

• Bucket
• Soap scum and mildew remover
• Disinfectant sprays
• Scrub brush
• Sponges
• Rags or paper towels
• Rubber gloves, if you use them
• Mop

Step 1 – Gather Supplies

Gather all your cleaning supplies and put them in a bucket. Carry the bucket to the bathroom. Getting your supplies ready beforehand will be easier and less distracting.

Open the window, if there is one, or turn on a fan to ventilate your bathroom. The open window is for you not to inhale the fumes as you are cleaning the bathroom toilet.

Step 2 – Remove Items on Top the Toilet

Place the items on the sink. You will be washing them later on.

Step 3 – Select a Sponge

Put the seat up and spray the inside the bathroom toilet and under the rim. Let it soak as you take your sponge and wipe down the toilet, around the tank, the lid, seat, and the sides and base of the toilet.

Step 4 – Spray Exterior of the Bathroom Toilet

Use your sponge or dry rag to wipe it dry.

Step 5 – Use the Toilet Brush

Take the toilet brush and scrub inside the bathroom toilet and under the rim thoroughly. Repeat until all stains are gone. Flush the toilet.

Use the cleaner spray on the seat. Wipe it dry and, then, put the seat down.

Step 6 – Clean the Handle

Use disinfectant spray and spray the bathroom toilet handle. Wipe it dry. The handle is where the germs are easily spread, so it needs to be cleaned thoroughly.

Step 7 – Spray the Floor

Wipe down the area around the base of the bathroom toilet with a mop or rag. Let it dry.

Step 8 – Wash Items

Spray the items, carefully, that were on the top of the tank. Wipe them dry and, then, put them back on the tank.

Step 9 – Finishing Up

Gather your cleaning equipment and put them back in the bucket. Carry the bucket to the next bathroom in your house. Repeat the same procedure above.

Your bathroom toilet is now clean and germ free. Cleaning your bathroom toilet on a weekly schedule will help make your job a lot easier to handle in between regular cleaning jobs.

Article by: doityourself.com

Found!

FFFFOUND! | woumpah /// graphic & multimedia designer /// Paris.

As Nolan said up next are the visuals of The Road.

I might throw out some “film geek” terms when talking about The Road but I cannot help myself. This film is on a level that most films never make it too. It shows us more that just the action and “cool shots”.

You feel like you are in their world for every minute and you believe it. Most of the film is shot on real locations in the United States which gives it an authenticity that is lost in most post apocalyptic films who create their worlds with green screen and CGI *cough* 2012 *cough*

The film features stunning Oscar worthy production design.

Courtesy of IGN.com

Everything felt dirty (the good kind of dirty) not just because of set dressing and costuming and make up (which where amazing) but because of the cinematographer, Javier Aguirresarobe, did a fantastic job with lighting the debris and dust. The air felt dirty.

The trailer is not the best representation of the movie. This is not your typical “end of the world” movie.  It is a story about a father and his son, and this is evident in the choice of shots. There are many tight shots and two shots. Focusing on the characters rather than the destruction of earth and it proves effective. The cinematography brought the relationships to life.

-Trevor Smith

Dimanche 22 Novembre 2009 avait lieu à Quelneuc une partie d’airsoft (loisir semblable au paintball).  La journée avait pour thème le post-apocalyptique.

–> (définition du post-apocalyptique dans wikipédia).

Afin de plonger les joueurs dans cet univers, j’ai réalisé divers éléments :

- Un livret leur rappelant les règles de jeu et les différents aspects de la journée.

- Divers objets utilisés pour le jeu (râtelier, stimpaks…)

- Un décors de BAR style post-apocalyptique.

- Des retouches sur les photos de la journée.

Jay Z looked fresh in his black velvet suit

Keri Hilson looked dissapointingly plain. Im not feelin the hair or the dress + shes lookin a little old here :-/

Leona Lewis looks pretty blonde, and the dress is innovative. Not a fan of the shoes, however

Toni Braxton is looking classy and her son Denim is a hansom young man

AlthoughWhitney Houston & her daughter Bobbi Kristina look very pretty!

Although I do like 50 cent’s blazer.. something looks a bit off

I really like Drake here, clean and crisp. Te amo

Janet Jackson looked hot during her performance!

Mary J. looked great and her hair was very cute

Rihanna wore a revealing peek-a-boo white striped cat suit for her performance at the ama’s. This girl loves to give us something to look at.. and I dont think we mind

Click here to see her full AMA performance!

Rihanna on the Red Carpet

Click here to listen to her single Rockstar 101 feat. Slash

[click to enlarge]

Never noticed Chris Brown was so into “ICE”… here’s another one of his chains, made by Jason of BH.Also never noticed he had this tat on both hands… such a lil gangsta LOL

Hangzhou is famous for its West Lake.  It’s hailed by pretty much everyone and their mother as one of the most picturesque places in China.  All I have to say is, if this place is supposed to be one of the gems of China, I’m SCREWED.

The West Lake is man-made: it started as a marsh and hundreds (if not close to a thousand) of years ago some emperor or another had it emptied and expanded and made into a proper lake.  Succeeding emperors further developed the landscaping and had bridges built and temples and pagodas were constructed in the surrounding area.  Sounds kind of nice, actually.  And from the pictures I’ve seen, it’s beautiful.  Being here to witness it for myself is another matter.  Photoshop has done WONDERS for this place.

As with everything else in China (although in fairness, to a much lesser extent), the West Lake is dirty and polluted and basically looks like millions of people have come here to take a dump in it.  (Come to think of it, that is probably more accurate than I care to admit.)  From a distance, it looks almost serene.  Once you’re actually alongside it, you can see just how filthy (and smelly) it really is.  We’re not talking pond scum (although there’s plenty of that), we’re talking bottles and wrappers and a filmy residue of all sorts of chemicals and who knows what across the top.  Toxic sludge, really.

I contemplated renting a bike from the hostel (it was pushed on me pretty heavily), with the girl at the desk vigorously shaking her head and adamantly telling me I simply could not walk the lake, it was much too large.  A bike sounded like a nice change of pace, but seeing as the lock wasn’t working properly before as I so much as left the property and the warnings to keep it safe were as strong as they come and the deposit being so high, I decided against it.  That, and when I realized you couldn’t actually ride the bike along the smaller lanes of the lake, you had to park it outside in the city traffic and then walk into the surrounding park area on foot, it made even less sense to have to worry about a bike.  Had my share of run-ins with thieves for one week, thank you.  My feet will do me just fine.

Set out pretty early (see earlier reference to inconsiderate roommates and doors slamming and crates of who knows what being dropped at all hours) and tackled that polluted lake in half a day.  You heard me.  Lapped the whole thing.  Not sure what kind of mileage we’re talking, but I’d guess in the ballpark of five or so.  Not terrible.  But made for another dripping with sweat day.  (DRIPPING.  Backpack SOAKED.  Disgusting.)  I also took the opportunity to give my first visible FUCK YOU to China via my chosen attire for the day: shorts (the scandal!) AND a tank top (oh no you didn’t!).  You better believe I did.  I only packed one of each, thinking I’d break out the shorts in Southeast Asia and reserve the tank top for cooler layering purposes.  But it is HOT here.  Disgusting, hazy, polluted, sticky HOT.  And these people are jerks.  You don’t like looking at my shoulders?  Tough.  Stop spitting on me.

Popped up one pagoda, the famed Leifeng Pagoda.  Supposed to give spectacular views of the lake and surrounding area.  But with the entrance fee cranked up like we were in Disney World and the haze so thick you couldn’t see the sun, there wasn’t much to see.  That, and the pagoda was constructed in 2001 (yeah, real old), and after climbing up all those stairs and not being able to see for squat I’m going why exactly did I agree to pay that again?  To be fair, the original pagoda was built in the first century AD, and burned down in the 1920s.  But still.  Was feeling a bit cheated on that one.

The rest of the lake was pleasant enough, once you get over the fact that it’s filthy and best not to look at the water directly.  Once I crossed over to the far side it was almost enjoyable, having escaped the thousands upon thousands of Chinese tourists pushing and shoving and screaming every which way.  I stopped to sit on a bench and attempt a poorly-lit self portrait, but in doing so apparently attracted the (supremely unwanted) attention of a passing couple, who took the opportunity to gape and giggle at the strange looking foreigner, and even went so far as to pull out a camera and take several pictures of me.  I didn’t trust myself to open my mouth because it would have been a whole manner of shouting and GO FUCK YOURSELVES, but I let my eyes do the talking.  I stared right back.  For every millisecond.  Stared DAGGERS.  I hope they went home and cried themselves to sleep.

As you might imagine, circumnavigating a lake on foot while dodging wayward elbows and airborne wads of spit is somewhat exhausting, and I worked up quite the appetite.  I noticed a bright, big, welcoming Indian restaurant just opposite the bus stop the day before, and so kept that as my “you can do it” mantra for the latter half of the lake.  It crossed my mind that they might be a dinner-only place and if that had been the case I might have thrown a temper tantrum right there.  Much to my IMMENSE delight they were open and better yet — EMPTY.  I know, I know, an empty restaurant isn’t a good sign.  But you don’t understand.  I’m in China.  The food here is shit.  I’ll take bad Indian food over good Chinese food ANY DAY.  That, and do you have any idea what an empty restaurant means??  SILENCE.  And baby, that silence was GOLDEN.

The waiter came to take my order and I prefaced myself by saying I was going to order A LOT.  Translation: don’t give me grief for ordering enough food for two.  Or fourteen.  I’VE EARNED IT.  I had myself a FEAST: fresh watermelon juice, an ICE COLD beer (that was downed so fast it’d make my mother proud), a “mixed vegetables salad” that turned out to be an ENTIRE PLATTER of raw sliced carrots and cucumbers and cabbage — my stomach was so ecstatic and shocked it was squealing with glee, garlic nan, basamati rice, and a piping hot trough of spicy black lentils and red beans cooked together in a terrific curry.  Everything was DELICIOUS.  I was stuffing things into my mouth as fast as I could, two hands at a time.  Do you have any idea how good Indian food tastes in China??  Not that it’s any different — it tastes exactly like it does at home.  But it’s INDIAN.  And I LOVE Indian food.  And better yet — it’s NOT Chinese!  And the added bonus is it’s SO EASY to eat vegetarian when you’re eating Indian.  I essentially had a whole menu catered to me.  THRILLED.  They even let me pack up leftovers to go.  SUCH a happy tummy.

I then ambled back to the hostel to laze away the remainder of the afternoon.  I met Ben, a dude from Ghana, who now lives in China full time.  We goofed off for a bit and then headed out to a hostel he had stayed at before (much nicer, but booked and hence he was staying here), where we had pizza and two big fresh mango and yogurt shakes each for dinner.  We shot a couple games of pool (by which I mean I was the good sport and humored him by attempting to stab those stupid little balls across the table, and he was a good sport and took the game seriously) and then bought MORE overpriced Chinese tea (not sure what that was about) before making our way home.  I tried for the early bed route again and succeeded, but only until the troops came in and unleashed the circus, screaming monkeys and all.

All in all, a MUCH better day than the one prior.  Now I just have to figure out what exactly I’m going to do for the next two days.  (Enter China’s ridiculous rail system, and I can’t leave earlier than my scheduled train late Sunday night.  Even if I forked over the cash for a whole new ticket they’re all long sold out by now.  This is going to get old FAST.)  Par for the course.

Yesterday was a hideous, hazy, gross day.  Hideous.  It was so hazy many of the skyscrapers were obscured.  I was up late the night before swapping anecdotes and travel tips with a British couple, and so lazed about in the morning, alternating between blogging and banging my head against the wall in frustration at the censorship in this country.  Not only can I not access more than half of the sites that I want to, but the internet is so unbelievably clogged and slooooooowwwww.  If the CCP is going to block people, they should at least do it in a speedy manner so we can get on with our lives.  Just sayin’.

So I took my sweet time and walked back to Nanging Road (yes, AGAIN), figuring I’d find some food and make my way down to the Bund, before crossing through the pedestrian tunnel and over to Pudong, so I could check out the view.  The haze was so thick and horrible that I doubt there was any view to speak of, which is comforting, seeing as I never made it through that tunnel.

When I said the entire city is under construction what I meant is THE ENTIRE CITY IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION.  I don’t think you understand.  EVERYTHING.  Apparently Shanghai is hosting something called “Expo 2010,” which meant nothing to me (Who calls anything an expo?? I mean, really. Sounds like a mind-numbing conference for the IT industry or something.) until I finally deduced (and it was later confirmed) that by “Expo” they really mean World’s Fair.  I’ve never been to a World’s Fair so clearly I’m no expert at these things, but my understanding is that the World’s Fair is a BIG fucking deal.  HUGE.  So yes, the ENTIRE CITY is under construction.  And they must have realized that shit still looks horrible and they’re WAY behind schedule, because these little buggers are going at it all day and night.  Oh yes, all night.  Right outside my window.  Jackhammers (PLURAL) and all.  I’m listening to a miserable symphony of them now.

To paint you a picture of this construction, it is unlike any construction I have ever come across before.  There are no hard hats or clearly marked areas or covered pedestrian walkways or signage marking blocked streets and appropriate detours or even proper tools and machinery.  It’s just kind of like millions of people sitting around covered in dirt, occasionally laying a brick if they can be bothered, or throwing them at random through a gaping hole in the side of a building and narrowly missing a pedestrian (ahem, ME), firing up those jackhammers like more holes in the streets and sidewalks is what Shanghai needs, spitting, smoking, screaming and so on.  I’m not sure there is any real progress being accomplished.

And the dirt.  The dirt is EVERYWHERE.  Dirt dirt.  Remember Busan and Gyeongju and Seoul?  That kind of dirt.  Where does all this dirt come from??  It’s not construction dust, it’s not caulking, it’s not cement powder or any of that.  It’s DIRT.  Since when do people build state of the art cities with dirt?  Don’t get me wrong — I’m fully expecting China to be dirty.  All sorts of dirty.  I just didn’t anticipate it in Shanghai, the one city that is praised as being the wealthiest, most advanced, most cosmopolitan of the Chinese cities above all others.  Yes, New York is dirty.  But that’s like litter and urine and homeless people pushing around four shopping carts loaded with crap apiece.  There isn’t any DIRT in New York.  Shanghai has the litter and the urine and the homeless people and then some, and it also comes with a disgusting choking layer of haze.  And once you’re over all those assaults on your senses, you realize you’re walking in unending mounds of dirt, kicking it up, coating your skin and clothes, breathing it, and wondering how on earth is it possible to have SO MUCH DIRT IN A CITY?!??

On top of the dirt and the haze and the feeling that you’re probably breathing in cancer, there is the noise.  Shanghai sounds EXACTLY like what you expect China to sound like.  Car horns, motorbike horns, motorbikes revving their loud crappy engines, masses of people talking to each other, people screaming, babies screaming (the adult yelling matches outnumber the wailing babies 100 to 1 — people are CONSTANTLY screaming), people in your face soliciting or begging or both “watch! buy watch! money! money! hello! watch! money!,” and the symphony of jackhammers on top of it all.  It’s LOUD.  And it’s relentless.  It makes New York seem downright tranquil.

And here I was grossed out with the haze and fed up with the dirt but patting myself on the back for being a good trooper and dealing with it all in stride.  I even managed to find a tiny little hole in the wall (literally: I sat at a stool with my knees touching the wall in front of me and if I leaned back I’d touch the wall behind me) that served piping hot noodle soup with heaps of bok choy (and a hunk of supremely unappetizing fried tofu, but we’ll give them a pass and high marks in the vegetarian department, even if it was chicken broth) as I was circling back from my fruitless attempt to cross the tunnel into Pudong.

Oh, and quick but related side note: The other night a Dutch girl was telling me about a weekend trip gone awry and how she had horrible weather and was stuck in some town that only had shops selling hammers or nails or screwdrivers or screws (never all three together, and no other shops to be had).  That wasn’t the point to her story, but I thought that all the shops in one little town selling hardware and nothing else was beyond bizarre and figured I somehow completely misunderstood that segment.  She was trying to tell me how frustrating China can be, and how when you need something simple and basic it’s never simple or basic to find it, as you have to go far and wide for the most common things.  Three days into Shanghai and I know EXACTLY what she meant.  And yes, she was being quite literal and not exaggerating.  It seems shops for things are clustered together.  The first day I was here I passed four bookstores on one street, all lining the same side of the street for that matter.  Two small private bookshops, one medium-sized but definitely bigger than your neighborhood place, and one on scale with Barnes and Noble.  Four in a row.  And not two blocks later there were four office supply stores all in a row.  I thought it was odd that all these competitors would choose to be housed shoulder to shoulder, but beyond that didn’t give it a second thought.  Yesterday I covered quite a bit of ground, and saw many of the ugly bits on the north side of the city that tourists don’t go to.  (It wasn’t intentional, that damn tunnel didn’t work out and I didn’t want to have to double back around so I took a left and got more funny looks wandering that hood than I ever have in my whole life.)  It was here that I found the vegetarian noodle man.  And here that I realized this is what that girl meant.  I found a street that had six fruit stalls all lined up, all in a row.  And then three grocery stores.  You know me and grocery stores — I felt like I struck gold.  So I darted in the first one, was smacked in the face by hot, humid, putrid air that reeked of public bathroom and long expired urinal cakes, made a detour through the first aisle (noticing everything even INSIDE the grocery store was coated with dirt too) and got the hell out of there.  Enter store number two and exactly the same experience.  No way was I testing out door number three.  So that was the market street.  Then a few blocks on there was the sweatshop underwear and socks street, with dozens of little store fronts crammed with the same underwear and socks by the thousands.  Closer to my hostel is the beauty supply street, with no fewer than ten shops selling nail polish and brushes and make-up.  It’s SO WEIRD.  And wildly inefficient.  So in other words, if it’s a Saturday morning and you need to pick up some produce and an extension cord and maybe a notebook and then some hair dye, you’re going ALL OVER the city to get these simple things that would otherwise be under one roof (i.e. Target or similar) or within close proximity to each other (enter the strip mall or any street with a stoplight in suburbia).  I see this not boding well for me in the future.

So anyway.  Pre-side note.  So I’m trudging along through all the ugliness, and while it’s not nice or particularly enjoyable, I’m not having a bad time of it.  I figure I’m seeing the “real” China and that cars nearly hitting me as I cross the street (on the pedestrian green!) is par for the course.  One guy didn’t stop until he TOUCHED my knee!  NOT.EVEN.KIDDING.  Can you say LIVID?  So it’s hazy and dirty and I decide I’ve breathed enough second-hand smoke and pollution for one day and head back to the hostel.  The girl at the front desk asked me if I had been to the Yu Garden yet.  And I said no, and I heard it was pretty, but wasn’t it kind of out of the way, and I did plenty of walking for one day, and I’m sure it’s just as nice as the next garden I’ll come across.  And she’s all oh no, it’s beautiful, really peaceful and gorgeous and very traditional Chinese and totally worth it and not really that far at all, just twenty minutes, you should really go.  So I did.

Enter related side note number two: Two days ago when I was wondering around with those Chinese buddies of mine, the boy of the group asked me if I was going to go to the Yu Garden.  And I told him I hadn’t heard of it.  He said it was very nice and very famous and that a lot of people go there, but that it was in a bad part of town.  He said I should go, but that I shouldn’t be carrying any shopping bags or anything with me, and that I should wear my backpack on my front and go even further and physically hold it pressed to my chest.  This, from a local.

Ok, I think that’s sufficient foreshadowing.  You can see where we’re going with this.  So I’m walking from my hostel down to this famed Yu Garden, long since forgotten the warning that it was a bad part of town.  Forgive me for being the ignorant American tourist, but right now MOST of Shanghai looks like it would easily be classified as the “bad part of town.”  Again the dirt and the motorbikes and the screaming and the injured beggars and you follow.  It’s not pretty.  So as I’m walking there it looks EXACTLY the same as what everything else has looked like, and I don’t feel any less safe than I did all day.  And then I felt my backpack being unzipped.

I’ve never been robbed or pick-pocketed or any of that before.  Yes, I’ve had things stolen from me, but it’s always been “my fault” for leaving something in someone’s trunk or in a locker or whatever.  Never off my person.  I can’t exactly describe it, but on top of being incredulous I was FURIOUS.  Fear didn’t even cross my mind.  I wanted to break that guy’s face.  And it was like I could feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins.  I was acutely aware of all of my senses.  It was surreal.  I whipped around and screamed in his face “EXCUSE ME!,” and he merely smirked at me and kept on going, without so much as missing a beat.  I really, really wish I had punched him.  Or grown muscles like the Hulk and beaten him to a pulp.  This, coming from someone who considers herself a nonviolent pacifist.  I was OUTRAGED.  That, and he was like half my size.  I was easily a head taller than him, if not more.

What’s worse is as I was walking back (I did an about-face right there, a few blocks short of the garden, any and all interest totally evaporated), two construction dudes sitting on the side of the road (I told you they don’t actually do anything) pointed to me and my backpack (now slung across my front) and gestured down the road behind me and made gestures as if they understood.  And I nodded fiercely and shrieked “YES!” and they nodded gravely.  It only pissed me off further that they saw him, and either recognized him and knew what he was up to or actually saw him trying to steal from me and just sat there.  JUST SAT THERE.  Didn’t utter a peep.  Gee, thanks guys.  You watch some solo foreign girl have her backpack violated by some asshole and you just kick back and enjoy the show?  Bloody hell.

And get this — I get back to the hostel and the girl is like how did you like the garden?  So I tell her what happened and she goes “oh” and thinks for a second and then says “you should be more careful.”  %$&@#!!  WHAT?!?  BE MORE CAREFUL?!?  I’m not walking around dripping with jewels and wearing a sign “LOADED WITH AMERICAN CASH, PLEASE ROB ME.”  I’m dressed like a freaking backpacker for crying out loud.  I look scruffy as hell.  And I AM careful.  So I said something or another and immediately came upstairs, so I wouldn’t have to fight the supreme urge to punch her too.

I’m still not over it.  It was the last thing I expected in Shanghai.  Never would have thought that would happen here.  I’d like to think I haven’t been walking around with my head in the clouds the last few weeks, but I certainly didn’t expect that in Shanghai.  Beijing, yes.  Xi’an and Chengdu, yes.  Guilin and Guangzhou, hell yes.  Shanghai?  Not whatsoever.  NOT cool.