Whaduya mean…the sky is falling?

Here’s what you know going into a movie like this…the guy WILL get the girl, the dog WILL survive and there WILL be at least 3 situations where the hero narrowly escapes. One of these things does NOT happen in “2012″, but I’m not sayin’ which one. “2012″ is the latest disaster flick from Roland Emmerich, the same director that gave us “The Day After Tomorrow”, “Independence Day” & “Godzilla”.  And to say that he goes far above anything he has ever done is an understatement.

Look…if you’re looking for a plot, forget it. There is only one reason to see this movie and that is to see stuff go to hell in a handbasket. No one does that better than Emmerich and let me tell you this…this movie is an amazing sight to behold! The computer generated graphics are unlike anything I’ve ever seen before with historic monuments crashing, the tallest buildings falling and the earth’s crust shifting and creating tidal waves so big, you are afraid you might get wet if you sit too close to the screen! It’s really is amazing what can be done by computers these days and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. For “2012″…it definitely works.

But here’s the catch…it’s the only thing this movie has going for it. Not that the performances aren’t good. John Cusack plays a novelist who is trying to get his family to safety. Amanda Peet plays his ex-wife. Danny Glover tackles the role of playing The President.  Oliver Platt plays the bad guy. And even Woody Harrelson shows up for a few scenes as a crazed radio prognosticator. All the character’s in “2012″ have a role. Unfortuntely there are a few too many roles and not enough plot to carry them.

Emmerich and company cram so many characters into 2.5 hours of movie that trying to get to know any of them is pointless. There are entire scenes set up with characters who were written into the film for really no purpose than to eat up time and allow more destruction to happen. That is unfortunate for the actors who play in those roles because there are really some very talented people involved in the film, but with so much being packed in, certain characters are left by the roadside. And that is why I would recommend that if you have any plans to see this film, you should definitely see it on the big screen. Because the fun of seeing it is in the sheer enormity of the destruction, not the human element. I’m sure that once this movie comes out on DVD, it will be a huge disappointment on your television at home, whether you have a large screen or not. Seriously, if you have a chance, see “2012″ on an IMAX screen as soon as possible…and then you never have to see it again.

Overall Rating: B+

Last Sunday I went with my friend, Aaron, and watched the disaster movie 2012. The movie theater was packed which surprised me. I thought everybody would be at the Twilight movie that opened that weekend. By the closing credits of 2012, I am sure everyone wished they had made that choice.

Loosely based on the Mayan prophecies that the world will end on 2012, the movie exploits that premise. It does not do a good job of really delving into the prophecies themselves but simply references them  like an excuse to continue on with the plot.

What a plot it was! It was painful  to watch it unfold on screen.  I could not buy its plausibility even in the Willy Wonka world of imagination.  It was based on the increase in solar flare activity and planet alignment, which affected the melting of the earth’s core.  I know that was a movie spoiler but frankly who cares….the movie was so bad…it does not ruin anything with that reveal.

Why did one of my favorite actors, John Cusack, do this movie?  He must have needed the cash.  He tried to show that he cared and get into his character.  I just don’t think he bought it. It showed in his performance.

I found myself not really caring if his character or his family or anyone else survived the destruction.  In moments of terror onscreen, I found myself laughing out loud because it was so stupid.  Also, I agree with Aaron when he pointed out all the music that was played to try to direct our emotion. It did not work.

Now the only redeeming factor of the movie, were the special effects. It was like a visual orgy of disasters gone wild.  It was like taking every disaster movie in history and shaking them up together and exploding them into the screen.  They should take the disaster action sequences and make a Disney ride out of it.

Adam Lambert’s song “Time For Miracles” plays during the closing credits.  I am afraid nothing miraculous could save this movie from its disastrous awfulness.

Deluge was the debut feature film by a 23 year-old with the enviable name of Felix E. Feist. Sounds like a Marx Brothers pseudonym, but it’s the real name of the son of an MGM sales manager, who had an almost-there career in movies until he switched to TV production in the 50s. Deluge was believed to have been lost, until a print surfaced in Rome – accordingly, the suriving version of the film is dubbed into Italian. It is noteworthy mostly because of its spectacular scenes of tidal waves destroying Manhattan, proof that Roland Emmerich didn’t invent the wheel: he just enlarged and nuked it.

The film clips along at an alarming rate. Before the main characters have even been introduced, we’re into a montage of baffled scientists, international news reports of earthquakes, military aircraft being returned to base, preachers predicting the end of the world; this all establishes the communication networks, the babble of opinions that tells us this is global catastrophe affecting even the biggest structures of nation states.

The onscreen declaration at the start really dates this film:

Deluge is a tale of fantasy, an adventure in speculation, a vivid epic pictorialisation of an author’s imaginative flight. We the producers present it now purely for your entertainment, remembering full well God’s covenant with Noah.

Yeah, because nothing kicks off a bit of pure entertainment like a Bible reference.

Note to Roland Emmerich: in Deluge, the buildings start falling seven minutes in – within thirty seconds, millions are dead and the entire Western coast of North America has crumbled into the sea. The radio announces: “Indescribable disaster is causing havoc everywhere. There’s no cause for panic. Shut off all gas items.” Now that’s efficient.

There then follows a remarkable sequence in which all of New York is washed away by the sea. This footage was never lost with the rest of the movie (I wonder if it was a flood which washed all the prints away), because it was reused in the Dick Tracy serial, and in King of the Rocket Men. YouTube helpfully has a clip, though the quality is not stellar:

I wonder if the miniature sets were built especially for the film, or whether RKO had some leftovers from the same year’s King Kong that needed knocking down. It looks like an expensive miniature set, and presumably was destroyed all in one go. The earth trembles, buildings explode into chalky oblivion, and the sea rushes in to wipe out any last traces of life. After this rather definitive destruction, the film follows the plight of survivors. Although a couple of months has passed, within a couple of minutes of screentime, they’re fighting to the death over Claire (Peggy Shannon), who has taken the trouble to wash ashore wearing only her undies.

Shannon has an unhappy biography – a former Ziegfeld girl, she was signed up by Paramount in 1931 as a new “It” girl to replace Clara Bow (who had suffered a nervous breakdown), she drank herself to death in 1941. A couple of weeks later husband shot himself dead on the spot where he’d found her. Incidentally, Feist’s ex-wife Lisa Howard, an actress who became a hugely successful journalist and newscaster, also killed herself in tragic circumstances after suffering a miscarriage. Feist died of cancer a couple of weeks later. Wow, so much death. Back to happier business. In Deluge, Shannon gives a fine account of a self-reliant and feisty (see what I did there?) woman lumbered with the tiresome burden of being the last woman in sight. She sets up temporary home with Martin, who has been separated from his wife and children in the chaos, believing them to be dead.

Elsewhere, life is picking up again, in a sequence of vigenettes from small town life in places where banks, barbers and families are trying to reinstate their old communities. The Italian dub might even allow today’s viewers the fantasies that this is some apocalyptic neo-realist drama. But only briefly. Martin’s wife Helen (Lois Wilson) is still alive and hoping to be reunited with him, but Tom, yet another survivor, informs her that a new law (how quickly people take the chance to pass new laws in the wake of catastrophe!) commands that women of marrying age must marry. Ah, romance.

Tom has other things to take care of, too, leading a mob against the cruel Bellamy gang, who’ve been raping and looting like only a post-apocalyptic all-male crowd of burly guys can. Thus is dramatised the struggle between the opposing factions of society’s remnants – women get the raw deal: stuck between forced marriage and random attacks by randy thugs, they become the fetish objects through which the male survivors differentiate themselves from one another. There’s some nicely ambiguous drama when Helen and Martin are reunited at the end. Claire refuses to give him up just because his wife turns out to be alive – it’s not as if there’s still a church around to give a crap (I’m paraphrasing her words), and for a while it looks as though they’re about to find accommodation as a threeway family, but it all ends with Claire swimming off to sea. An earlier comment that, unable to become an aviator, she became a professional swimmer tells us that Claire is not necessarily swimming to her death, but it looks for all the world like a suicidal martyrdom, as if her brand of trouser-wearing femininity can’t be assimilated with the newest world order. She did earlier escape from one unsatisfactory settlement to another by stripping off and swimming to the next port of call, so I like to think she’s going to keep going until she finds a refashioned society that can incorporate her desires. In any event, God’s covenant with Noah isn’t helping much.

[See more images from Deluge in my slideshow below:]

]]> http://carlosdev.wordpress.com/2009/11/22/2012/ Sun, 22 Nov 2009 15:20:51 +0000 carlosdev http://carlosdev.wordpress.com/2009/11/22/2012/

Here's the real star of 2012.

(Columbia) John Cusack, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Amanda Peet, Oliver Platt, Woody Harrelson, Thandie Newton, Danny Glover, Thomas McCarthy, Liam James, Morgan Lily, Zlatko Buric, Beatrice Rosen, Johann Urb, John Billingsley, Jimi Mistry. Directed by Roland Emmerich

Nearly every culture has an end-of-the-world scenario, as does almost every religion. What would happen if one of them actually came to pass?

Dr. Adrian Helmsley (Ejiofor) is a junior geologist working for the U.S. Government. When he gets a call from colleague and old friend Dr. Tsurutani (Mistry) summoning him to India, he is happy to go but a bit mystified by the urgency. When his friend shows him figures regarding the temperature at the earth’s core, Helmsley immediately gets on a plane and crashes a fundraiser where presidential advisor Carl Anheuser (Platt) is holding forth. When Helmsley shows Anheuser the report, Anheuser leaves the fundraiser and informs Helmsley that he now works for Anheuser.

Flash forward several years later. Unsuccessful science fiction writer Jackson Curtis (Cusack) is resorting to driving a limo for an overbearing Russian billionaire (Buric). He gets a weekend off to take his kids – angry Noah (James) and incontinent Lilly (Lily) – camping at Yellowstone, where he and estranged wife Kate (Peet) once canoodled.

He meets a whacko end-of-the-world nutjob named Charlie Frost (Harrelson) who tells him why he and Kate’s favorite lake has dried up, and in the best conspiracy theory fashion, that the government not only knows about it but has been feverishly building spaceships to save the human race, the locations of which he conveniently has a map to.

Initially Curtis dismisses Charlie’s ravings but when they start to come true, he hightails it back to L.A. in his stretch limo and races against the earthquakes that will soon render the City of Angels a disaster zone, which might bring the property values down somewhat. From then on, Curtis and his family along with Kate’s nebbish plastic surgeon boyfriend (McCarthy) try to stay one step ahead of Armageddon.

Those special effects are absolutely worth the price of admission. Realistic and spectacular at the same time, we watch things in the words of the immortal Farm Film Report “blow up real good” and then blow up real good some more. Fleets of helicopters fill the skies as do flocks of hysterical birds escaping their impending doom. Waves crash over the Himalayas like they were pebbles on a beach, and we lap up every mind-blowing second of it knowing that it’s a little ghoulish but nevertheless we love it.

Cusack makes for an attractive lead. He’s not really suited for the action hero genre being much more of a hip indie sort but he soldiers on like the trooper he is. Ejiofor is one of those actors who I tend not to think about as a really compelling performer but every time I see him I notice how good he is – I think he’ll be on my list of must-see actors soon. Glover makes for a dignified president but compared to the Morgan Freeman presidency we got in Deep Impact doesn’t hold up quite as well, but still it’s nice to see him. Peet and Platt are two outstanding actors who take what they can out of a script that really doesn’t deserve them.

The big problem here is that the script is so predictable and cliché that after awhile you just long for a twist or a turn that you aren’t expecting. Also the movie at nearly two and a half hours is about 20-30 minutes too long. Still, these are things that get swept aside when you are in your special effects happy place.

Emmerich in that respect has become the Irwin Allen of his generation, and 2012 might just be his masterwork in that regard. He takes some pretty good actors who know well enough to just go with the preposterous dialogue and lets loose his digital effects subcontractors. The results are great entertainment and if that’s what you’re after then you’re in the right theater.

REASONS TO GO: Spectacular apocalyptic special effects overwhelm the many script deficiencies. John Cusack even in his weaker performances is worth seeing.

REASONS TO STAY: The script is predictable and riddled with clichés. Character development is nearly non-existent.

FAMILY VALUES: A good deal of disaster violence and some occasional salty language.

TRIVIAL PURSUIT: The character name of Jackson Curtis is the real name of rapper 50 Cent backwards (Curtis Jackson).

HOME OR THEATER: The eye-popping disaster scenes must be seen on the big screen to get the full experience.

FINAL RATING: 6/10

TOMORROW: Superbad

I am so disappointed with the second delay in the screening of A Christmas Carol. It has been rescheduled for 25 November 2009 (Wednesday) here in the Philippines. At least, it’s this week, but these continued delays just get on my nerves. Alternatively, This Is It, the Michael Jackson movie tribute, has been showing for quite some time and has actually raked in an admirable sum in gross revenue. The problem is, I’m not really a Michael Jackson fan. Thankfully, a film that is categorized within one of my favorite movie genres has been released: 2012.

I'm glad I got to watch this.

Despite being screened simultaneously with The Twilight Saga: New Moon, I am glad that there are sensible people who have opted to watch 2012 instead. Believe me, instead of mulling over the love life of a desperate girl named Bella, go for the latest end-of-the-world flick. It has convincing premises, unprecedented intellect, and a showcase of more realistic human emotion. And, it’s got a great score and soundtrack.

The earth's crust will "shift," causing chaos on the globe's surface.

The movie (2012) talks of a prophecy from the Mayan civilization that the world will end on December 21, 2012 (12.21.12). This is termed as the 2012 Phenomenon. After the said date, nothing else follows; so naturally, everything will end. Scientists have dug into the accuracy of this premise and decided that the earth won’t necessarily be annihilated—the crust would just “shift.” This is described as Earth Crustal Displacement. In this phenomenon, the earth’s crust will move as a result of an overheating core. An extremely hot core will melt the interior layers of the earth, making the crust movable since the underlying supporting ground is liquefied. So, North and South America can literally “shift” to the South Pole, while Asia relocates to the North Pole. Sounds simple. NOT! This process would involve earthquakes, lava explosions, humongous tidal waves, and ash booms. So every life on the earth’s surface is in danger of total eradication. Unless humanity decides to build modern-day arks to carry representatives of every nationality, and every plant and animal species there is.

For Jackson Curtis (John Cusack), family is very important.

Like in other disaster of doomsday flicks, 2012 focuses on a single family that fights for survival, with occasional diversions to other families and individuals who would be significant to the protagonist family’s survival. Of course, the meat of every film of these genres is the blow-by-blow account of the destruction of the environment, places, and popular landmarks. This film showcases new scenes for a disaster flick; and, everything is detailed, messy, and chaotic—just exactly what you might expect in a disaster scenario. I wish they rendered this film in 3D—it would very much be entertaining in that format—cars flying, explosions here and there, tsunamis moving in towards you, and the works! I wouldn’t want to be one of the characters fighting for their lives like in the film though. I figured that if I was in a doomsday situation, my mind would go blank and I would just stop and watch it happen. By watching this film, I learned that in such cases, the best thing to do is run until something stops you; if you ever get stopped, try to resume your running fast!

For Adrian Helmsley (Chiwetel Ejiofor), every bit of life is very important.

I think that 2012 has the potential to become a very entertaining video game either in the PC, Xbox 360, PS3, or Wii consoles. So you are trapped in a doomsday event and the only way to survive is to travel half-way across the globe to China, where the arks are located. You utilize every vehicle available to your disposal—public cars, small planes, big planes, ships, cruises, whatever—just to get to the arks. You go through earthquakes, eruptions, falling boulders, tsunamis and every natural disaster possible and somehow, manage to live through all these—narrowly escaping death. It’s a great game—if the producers and developers would get it right.

I am glad that despite being panned by critics, this film has done well worldwide. I guess it’s been quite some time since a worthwhile disaster movie has been released. Since this movie has been on its second or third week of showing here in the Philippines (not to mention the hype over New Moon), I expected the cinema to have less or virtually no one in it. I was pleasantly surprised that the cinema was about one-third full, and after my showing time, more people came in, rendering it almost full! This reaffirms my faith that society is not easily swayed by ridiculous vampire love stories.

Yeah, I don’t appreciate the Twilight series. I think it’s because I perceive Edward Cullen and Jacob Black as a threat to us other males. I mean, almost every girl we know swoon over them! Duh! They’re fictional! I remember the hype over The Lord of the Rings back in the early 2000s. Girls lined theaters not to watch this great epic, but to ogle Legolas! Mind you, I love The Lord of the Rings series, but if you watch it just to lust over a single fictional character, something is wrong with you. The same goes to female Twilighters wanting to be the desperate Bella.

Save you money. Watch 2012 instead. You might be disappointed with New Moon. I am so glad I did. I cried, I laughed, I was exhilaratingly entertained. Oh, and I’ve been treated to trailers of next year’s flicks that I am definitely going to look forward to: Prince of Persia, Salt, and Legion.

Ok, first I am at the ver begining of the review, say that this movie is not origonal at all.  The guy who made this took possibly every movie cliche you could think of, and excercises most if not all of them in this film.  Now with that aside I well tell you the plot line.  This man (play by Joan Cusak) is divorced with his wife.  He is taking his kids on a trip camping.  At the campsite, he meets the cliche’d “old guy who knows about the end of the world” type person, who tells him the world will end in 2012.  The man, of course, doesn’t beleive him and ignores him.  But then the man turns out to be right.  So Joan’s character takes his kids, ex-wife, and ex -wife’s boyfriend and they try to survive 2012.  Yes I know, very origional.  Now if this movie has anything going for it, that would be the speacil effects.  They are bordering amazing.  This is a movie you really have to watch in theaters to fully appreciate the effects.  If you are looking for great effects and awesome action, then this is definetly the movie for you.  If you are looking for origonality or character development, look elsewhere.   So all in all, this movie was good for what it was trying to be.  It aimed low and hit its mark.  it gets a 3.5\5

Yet again, people are lined up around the block to see a film that is 90% computer animation and largely ignoring a far better movie with the same subject matter. 2012 raked in money from people who were just dying to see gigantic fake explosions, cities not-actually-collapsing in on themselves and the acting of John Cusack instead of going to watch ‘The Road’, an adaptation of a book written by the guy who wrote Oscar-winning ‘No Country For Old Men’ and starring Oscar winner Charlise Theron and nominee Viggo Mortenson, which also deals with the end of the world.

“Look, I just wanted to see a movie where things explode and see massive tidal waves obliterate things. I wanted to see a movie where I wouldn’t have to think for like two and a half hours.” Said exasperated account manager Brent Finger, “Jesus, I saw the trailer for The Road and I felt like I wanted to shoot myself it was that bleak. Also, watching John Cusack try to act makes me feel a lot better about myself and what I do.”

Other film goers felt the same way: “I don’t want to watch a movie where the world has already been destroyed and people are struggling to survive. That sounds like filming a movie about a hangover. Everything cool has already happened, and now life sucks. I mean, who would want to go see a movie about a frigging hangover?” Brian Smeltman laughed, “Oh wait…”

2012 was created almost entirely by about 100 men in their late thirties clicking mouses and pressing buttons. Special efects guru Grag Pulk worked on 2012, and was eager to share some of his thoughts about the project.  “Remember that scene where a building is falling down, and then the limo drives through it without crashing? I mean, that sounds dumb and implausable, but when you see it, you’re like ‘WOW! That limo is ACTUALLY driving through a falling building!’ See? Anything is possible with CGI! Dealing with silly things like suspension of disbelief and realism is no longer an issue!”

Link to the original CNN article

2009: 2012 di Roland Emmerich

Sta battendo tutti i record di incasso in ogni parte del mondo questo ultimo film del regista di grandi successi come Independence Day, Godzilla, The Day after Tomorrow…

Coloro che amano i giocattoloni hollywoodiani, coloro che amano rimanere a bocca aperta di fronte ai miracoli raggiunti dalla tecnologia cinematografica avranno pane per i loro denti. Due ore e mezza di mirabolanti effetti speciali, insuperabili per spettacolarità e impatto visivo, uno più prodigioso dell’altro: un blockbuster che sarà difficile da superare per magnificenza e sapiente dosaggio di suspense. Non banale, con una certa cura delle psicologie dei vari personaggi, con qualche accenno a tematiche importanti, 2012 si fa apprezzare anche per l’assoluta mancanza di trash e di cattivo gusto, di violenza gratuita e di ripetitività.

Diretto con maestria dal tedesco (ormai hollywoodiano a tutti gli effetti) Roland Emmerich, interpretato con impegno da noti e bravi attori (Amanda Peet, John Cusack, Thandie Newton, Danny Glover, Oliver Platt, Woody Harrelson, George Segal…), un film mai noioso, avvincente e suggestivo, che coinvolge al massimo. Certo la sceneggiatura non fa a meno degli stereotipi di questo genere di film (il profeta inascoltato, lo scienziato buono e retto, il ricco cattivo, il politico arrogante, la real politik da condannare, il bravo giovane che salva patria e famiglia, il presidente degli Stati Uniti che eroicamente si sacrifica, la famiglia disastrata che si ricompone…) ma il tutto è talmente ben inserito e amalgamato che non infastidisce più di tanto e non impedisce allo spettatore di godersi appieno uno dei più grandi spettacoli che il cinema americano abbia mai realizzato.

2012 è stato positivamente accolto dalla maggioranza dei critici:  “Bravo Emmerich. E’ il suo miglior film” (Il Messaggero), “…confessiamo che il divertimento c’ è” (Il Corriere della Sera), “Soluzioni narrative ottenute con mezzi imponenti” (Avvenire), “…puntuali all’appuntamento con la nostra catastrofe periodica. Emmerich esaudisce i nostri desideri con rigore, fedeltà assoluta al genere e un pizzico di ironia europea… Con ‘2012′ la soddisfazione per noi appassionati è massima” (Liberazione), “Emmerich annuncia di voler cambiare genere. Peccato, questo gli viene così bene” (La Stampa), “…è divertente, esagerato, spiazzante” (Il Manifesto), “’2012′ conferma l’attenzione del regista a certi temi ed un utilizzo intelligente e funzionale degli effetti speciali, qui particolarmente affascinanti, al pari di certe immagini volutamente emblematiche” (35mm).

scheda
sito italiano sito ufficiale

…bad writing, improbable set-ups, dumb dialogue—even for a doomsday flick. It wasn’t long before I was rooting for the disaster over the characters.

Here’s a non-apocalyptic image.

Titolo originale: 2012  

Regia: Roland Emmerich

Cast: John Cusack, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Amanda Peet, Oliver Platt, Thandie Newton, Danny Glover, Woody Harrelson, Morgan Lily, George Segal, John Billingsley, Jimi Mistry, Thomas McCarthy, Patrick Bauchau, Anne Mae Routledge, Liam James, Johann Urb, Chin Han,  Beatrice Rosen, Agam Darshi, Patrick Gilmore, Eve Harlow, Alex Zahara, Zlatko Buric, Alexandre Haussmann, Philippe Haussmann.

Distribuzione: Sony Pictures, USA Canada, 2009

Guarda il trailer

Nel 2009, in un centro di ricerca indiano situato nelle profondità di una miniera di rame, viene rilevata un’improvvisa variazione dell’emissione dei neutrini solari e il conseguente surriscaldamento del nucleo terrestre. La scoperta viene studiata dal giovane scienziato Adrian Helmsley (Chiwetel Ejiofor), che avverte il capo dello staff del Presidente americano, Carl Arnheuser (Oliver Platt). L’intero pianeta è a rischio distruzione e occorre ideare un piano di evacuazione di cui la popolazione è totalmente all’oscuro. Quando il mantello terrestre inizia a fondere e terremoti e crepe di enormi dimensioni iniziano ad affliggere la California, Jackson Curtis (John Cusack), scrittore si romanzi di fantascienza di scarso successo e autista di un ricco uomo d’affari russo, Yuri Karpov (Zlatko Buric), grazie all’aiuto del pazzo conduttore radiofonico Charlie Frost (Woody Harrelson), scopre la terribile verità che i governi di tutto il mondo stanno nascondendo e cerca ad ogni costo di salvare la propria famiglia da una fine che appare di fato inevitabile…

Roland Emmerich ci ha abituato a immani catastrofi globali, con Indipendence Day e The day after tomorrow. In questa pellicola il regista e sceneggiatore fa riferimento ad una profezia del calendario Maya, secondo la quale il mondo finirà il 21 dicembre 2012 e racconta attraverso effetti speciali spettacolari  la ribellione e l’accanimento totale della natura nei confronti di un’umanità inerme e impreparata alla catastrofe.  In realtà questo possibile epilogo della situazione instabile del nostro pianeta era già noto alle alte sfere di tutto il mondo, che hanno già provveduto a mettere al sicuro capolavori di inestimabile valore, come La Monna Lisa di Leonardo e che stanno facendo costruire delle enormi Arche di Noé i cui biglietti costano cifre esorbitanti e di cui pochissime e fidatissime persone sono informate.  Charlie Frost, conduttore radiofonico schizzato e apparentemente inaffidabile parla da mesi alla sua radio di questa congiura nei confronti dell’umanità, ma nessuno sembra dargli ascolto. Lo stesso Jackson Curtis, che lo ha conosciuto durante una gita con i suoi due figli al parco di Yellowstone, non sembra dare peso alle sue farneticazioni. Ma quando scopre che uno degli scienziati della NASA che lo ha aiutato durante la stesura del suo romanzo “Addio Atlantide” è morto in circostanze misteriose ed è solo uno l’ultimo di una lunga serie di morti non chiare tra personalità scientifiche eminenti, inizia a fidarsi dell’uomo e decide di portare la sua famiglia in Cina, dove stanno per essere ultimate le grandi arche di Noé per salvare pochissimi fortunati possessori del biglietto.

La trama non è sicuramente originalissima e il suo impianto rimanda alle due pellicole catastrofiche precedenti di Emmmerich, ma gli effetti speciali sono davvero stupefacenti e valgono da soli il prezzo del biglietto. Se poi aggiungiamo la buona performance di John Cusack, che dopo il ruolo intenso e drammatico di padre vedovo di guerra in Grace in Gone, qui interpreta un papà coraggiosissimo disposto a tutto per salvare i figli Noah (Liam James) e Lilly (Morgan Lily) e l’ex moglie Kate (Amanda Peet) di cui è palesemente ancora innamorato, e l’ottima prestazione di Woody Harrelson, una vera Cassandra (molto sui generis!!) della situazione,  e di Chiwetel Ejiofor, scienziato dal cuore d’oro che una volta scoperto il piano di evacuazione si adopererà per garantire l’accesso a più persone possibili, aiutato dalla bella figlia del presidente americano, interpretata da Thandie Newton.

In definitiva, una pellicola spettacolare e che fa riflettere su una serie di aspetti e di temi.

Conclusione: Assolutamente da vedere.

Voto: 8

I do wonder why we human beings are so fascinated by the apparently inevitable ‘end of the world’, and so keen to actually watch this happen over and over again in big budget hollywood doom-a-thons. It is an intriguing phenomenon, and one of which I am sadly a fellow follower.  So, despite being forewarned by average-to-poor reviews, I took my chances on Roland Emmerich’s latest disaster flick ‘2012‘. Having thoroughly enjoyed Independence Day and been, hmm, ‘impressed by the effects’ in The Day After Tomorrow, I figured that even if the script was weak and the acting was dire, the action and the effects would probably be worth it. I was virtually spot on, but I didn’t account for the ’so bad its good’ element, always an added bonus. I actually found 2012, at times, utterly hilarious.

Firstly, John Cusack’s determination to keep his sunglasses on regardless of any earthquakes/collapsing buildings is something to be admired - his sheer resolve in replacing them before heading into the apocalypse is nothing short of sensational. Secondly, Emmerich’s ability to get around any possible hole in the story by simply ignoring it/making something up is as genius as it is insulting. In Independence Day he decided that Will Smith’s US Air Force character, Captain Steven Hillard, could easily handle the functionality of a previously unexplored alien aircraft, and then fly it successfully into space and back, with none of the probable issues such as getting through the ozone layer, twice, in the same aircraft, in an hour; running out of fuel; needing oxygen to breathe….so it shouldn’t have surprised me that in 2012 he took plastic surgeon Gordon (Tom McCarthy), who has had ‘a few flying lessons in single engine planes’, and put him firmly in the pilot’s seat of a reasonably sized passenger plane, which he manages to not only take off in over a collapsing runway, but also to fly it perfectly through an imploding city, skyscrapers descending in front of him, trains flying out into thin air and falling across his path, and explosions left, right and centre. Later in the film Gordon’s new found flying experience also sees him co-pilot a Russian cargo-carrying aircraft from America to China…the mind boggles.

Similarly, while setting Cusack’s character, Jackson, as the neglective-cum-repentent absent husband/father, sadly looking on at the new boyfriend in his wife and children’s lives, he then conveniently kills off poor boyfriend-Gordon to make it ‘ok’ for them to get back together again at the end…a spare part of a character if ever there was one (albeit, a great novice pilot).

Next, is the baffling capacity for everyday vehicles to outrun the speed-of-the-earth-falling-apart inches behind them, those endless lightning-strikes of constant earthquakes ripping through tarmac that just can’t quite catch up with vehicles racing ahead of them at 100mph. But again, it comes back to the ‘it’s so bad its good’ scenario. Its so ridiculous that you kind of feel like the actors, many of them pretty reputable (John Cusack, Amanda Peet, Woody Harrelson and Thandi Newton to name a few), are sort of in on the joke themselves and want you to laugh along. During an early car chase (in which the car is being chased by a collapsing earth) John Cusack pulls such over-the-top, melodramatic expressions that you can only hope they’re made in jest for the sake of his career. 

In all honesty, the special effects are fantastic and pretty mindblowing, although it often feels more like you’re on a simluation ride than watching a feature film. The plane swerving through a city which just falls apart behind it into nothingness is very impressive, with the camera sweeping past shattering buildings so closely you can see the people desperately clinging on. As with The Day After Tomorrow, it was the tidal waves in 2012 that did make me stop laughing for a minute and feel a little hopeless: the relentless, limitless volume of water that wiped out civilisation in an instant was frighteningly convincing. It did seem at times that the glamourous soft-lens cameras were stripped back to the kind you see British soaps shot in (google tells me its a switch from 35mm print to digital camera). I can only assume this is supposed to help the viewer feel they’re actually there, taking part in the action, but it was a move wasted on me as I just felt like I’d gone from watching a Hollywood blockbuster to an episode of Doctor Who/Eastenders.

(Whilst this  fantastically rubbish film does keep you hooked, you can’t help but wonder at some point during the madness whether the whole ‘idea’ behind it is true and make a mental note to hop on Wikipedia when you get back. Luckily it really is nothing more than Hollywood taking part of an idea and turning into a money-making movie. The Mayans don’t actually predict the world will end in 2012 at all: they have a cyclical calender which comes to the end of one cycle in 2012 and begins a new cycle, which they actually anticipate should see us enter a new era of humanity! In fact, Mayan Ajq’ij Carlos Barrios, says: “The world will not end. It will be transformed… Everything will change…Change is accelerating now, and it will continue to accelerate…If the people of the earth can get to this 2012 date in good shape, without having destroyed too much of the Earth, we will rise to a new, higher level.*” Ahhh, now why can’t someone make a nice movie about us all getting along…well, it just wouldn’t be as fun would it.)

For a film that is supposed to be a modern ‘Noah’s Ark’ they leave the construction of the Ark out of it completely and only really allude to it in the last quarter of the film. The majority of the film revolves around the improbable story of an everyday guy somehow blagging himself and his family onto an exclusive ’Ark’ that only billionaires can afford; flying from America to China in a matter of hours in a cargo aircraft; crash landing conveniently right on the spot in the middle of nowhere that moments later a kind hearted monk will drive past with his grandparents and offer them a ride (what are the chances!) and then somehow managing to hold his breath underwater for about 14 minutes to save the day. The pivotal moment with the ‘point’ of the film (when the humanity of our species is ’saved’) falls a little flat, since billions of innocent people have already supposedly died, so the fact that a few hundred billionaires are able to save themselves doesn’t really cut it for me.

So, in a nutshell, the film is pants, but also weirdly brilliant. All things considered, and taken with a massive spoonful of salt, this can’t be described as anything other than another thoroughly entertaining outing with possibly the most impressive special effects ever seen. If you enjoyed watching the destruction of our entire race in previous disaster films there’s absolutely no reason to avoid this one.

(*http://www.13moon.com/prophecy%20page.htm)

When my sister called me up earlier this week to tell me my father had a “family movie” he wanted to treat us all to, I was touched.  But a mere few days later I had the dubious honor to be sitting in a theater waiting for 2012 to start.

2012 falls in the “disaster” movie category, both in story and in execution.  But what else could you expect from Roland Emmerich, director of “Independence Day” and “The Day After Tomorrow”?  What can I say, the dude hates Earth and wants to see it destroyed, be it by aliens, global warming or Mayan prophecy.

So, according to the movie, the planets align in such a way that the Earth’s core temperature rises, melting away the foundation that keeps the land masses in their positions (still with me?).  After U.S. scientists and government are onto this (in 2009), they begin building these ships (“arks”) in China that only those that can afford the 1 billion Euro price for tickets can obtain entry upon.  Also, Woody Harrelson, playing a drugged-out hippie camped in Yellowstone, somehow independently knows about this too.

John Cusack plays a writer-turned-limo driver that meets Woody Harrelson’s character while on a camping trip with his kids (they drive from their home in Manhattan Beach, CA to Yellowstone, WY in one day?) and learns about the impending disaster as well.  After booking it back home to pick up the kids’ mother and her annoying boyfriend, they escape L.A. in his limo to the closest airport.  The annoying boyfriend has also had a few flying lessons, at least enough that they are able to pilot a small aircraft to Las Vegas.  There they meet up with John Cusack’s billionaire Russian boss, his twin hideous snotty sons and the boss’ ditsy teenage girlfriend.  The Russian also has tickets for the ship and a large plane to get there.  Keep in mind that we have already seen Los Angeles sliding into the ocean, Yellowstone sprouting a volcano, and some other generic disaster happening to Vegas that was never really addressed.

So everyone is flying in the plane (along with the cargo of a dozen luxury cars) on their way to China.  Even though the pilot was sure they weren’t going to have enough fuel to make it past Hawaii, the Earth was kind enough to shift the Asian landmass far enough east that the plane’s gas and lack thereof was no longer an issue.  Next, since they just couldn’t land the plane in any normal fashion, everyone piled into one of the cars and drove it out the back of the crashing plane.

The Chinese government dropped by in their helicopters and picked up the Russian and his sons (since they had tickets), and left John Cusack, ex-wife, kids, annoying boyfriend AND the Russian boss’ girlfriend (she was cheating on him!) to fend for themselves.  Luckily, after a bit of walking, a nice young lama and his grandparents picked up the gang and headed for the site of the arks.  The lama’s brother, you see, works at the site where the arks were built and is planning to smuggle them on board.  Wasn’t that nice?

So they manage to get onboard through a series of ducts and tunnels in the infrastructure of the jumbo-sized ark, but peril befalls them when the lama’s brother and the annoying boyfriend fall into the gears of the ark’s loading dock.  The boyfriend dies, the lama’s brother’s legs get mangled, and in the process a jackhammer jams up the gears.  Once the ark starts taking on water from a tsunami (!), it begins taking on water since the seal has been compromised.  The ark’s crew becomes aware of their stowaways and asks if John Cusack can dislodge the obstruction since he’s there.  Knowing it’s a suicide mission, he selflessly goes ahead and makes his way through the labyrinth of tunnels underwater to clear up the works.  And of course his son follows him in, even after he expressly told him not to.  Anyway, they both work together and get the jackhammer out of the gears and the door seal gets back on track.  After a few tense seconds, John Cusack heroically emerges from the underwater tunnel.

NEXT, since they haven’t quite met their quota for destroying all of Earth’s most beloved landmarks, the ark is sent free-floating towards Mount Everest.  Luckily, they only bump into the base of the mountain before getting the ark’s motor going.

Cut to Day 27, Month 01, Year 0001 (yes, really) and everyone is cramped but comfortably on board the ark and making their way to southern Africa, where the new highest peak on Earth is now.  We then leave the movie with a shot from outer space showing the new makeup of Earth.

As if that ALL wasn’t complicated enough for you, I DID leave out the following:  Indian guy and his family who in 2009 called attention to the disaster to a young U.S. scientist, who in turn notified Oliver Platt (other government guy?), who in turn notified Danny Glover (president), who’s daughter is Thandie Newton (doctor and art preservationist), who eventually falls in love with the U.S. scientist, who’s dad is a musician who performs on cruise ships with partner George Segal.  Also destroyed:  Washington D.C. (the White House was taken out by a tidal wave, though more specifically, an aircraft carrier rolled over on it), Christ the Redeemer in Rio de Janeiro (crumbled), St. Peter’s Basilica in Vatican City bit the dust too (my personal favorite – the Sistine Chapel began to split apart conveniently right between Adam and God’s hands – brilliant touch).  I’m sure there was more, but how was I to keep track?  Also, I cannot leave out that John Cusack’s character’s only published work was fiction book about an eerily similar apocalyptic adventure – and also was one of the U.S. scientist’s favorite books.  Do you have the chills too??

I have to say, having zero expectations for this movie, I actually enjoyed it.  In the sense that I was in a crowded theater in downtown Long Beach on a Sunday afternoon with my family, and dozens of other families.  With my taste in movies, that’s pretty hard to come by.  As my parents, my sister and I were walking out of the theater, I told them something I wasn’t expecting to leave 2012 saying – “I haven’t laughed so hard at a movie in months.”  And even though it was riddled with wild inaccuracies and plot holes, and was basically a SyFy Channel movie with a bigger budget, so what?  People still cheered and clapped at the end.

Well… I mean… This is a really stupid movie.

As Printed in The Lumberjack on Nov. 19, 2009

by Gary Sundt

Director Roland Emmerich’s latest end-of-days blockbuster, 2012, is the very definition of huge. The film has a colossal $260 million budget, which was spent on special effects pieces that are dumbfounding in their enormity. The cast is huge, not only in size, but in caliber of actor (John Cusack is no slouch). The film’s length is no less than two hours and 38 minutes, which follows the recent trend of filmmakers who specialize in the stupid bringing us said idiocy at longer lengths than ever before (see Michael Bay’s Transformers 2 for an example of this).

The only thing not large about 2012 is the movie’s apparent numerical IQ, which is somewhere in the vicinity of borderline retardation. But for a movie based on something as silly as the 2012 conspiracy, it sure could have been worse. Emmerich is the man behind the good Independence Day, the bad Godzilla, the stupid The Day After Tomorrow, and the really, really stupid 10,000 BC. When it comes to destroying the world, this is the guy audiences flock to for the goods.

2012 is the disaster movie to end all disaster movies. The film features a good preliminary 30 minutes of what movies and comic books refer to as “junk science,” which is the medium’s attempt to convince the viewer/reader that any of this is possible using fake technical explanations. But soon the time for talk is over, and the CGI kicks into the highest gear I’ve seen since, well, forever.

The plot is quite simply that the popular conspiracy (in which the world is most certainly coming to an end in December of the year 2012) ends up panning out, and God works his ways to kill humanity really good. The movie follows a few individuals that fight to survive the rather realistic earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, clouds of volcanic ash, tsunamis, tidal waves, and the like, and among those people are struggling author Jackson Curtis (Cusack) and his estranged family.

We know the film’s clichés all too well, and the script by Emmerich and Harald Kloser ticks through them like a checklist. We have the beleaguered scientist (Chiwetel Ejiofor), who saw all this coming and tried to warn everybody; the President of the United States (Danny Glover), who ponders dramatically over the situation because he is, after all, the only world leader who can do anything about this; the conspiracy nut who turned out to be right (Woody Harrelson); the divorced husband and wife (Cusack and Amanda Peet) who have to struggle to protect their children in all this disaster; the government tool who can’t help himself but to be a complete asshole (Oliver Platt).

If you know these actors well enough, you can admire what Emmerich has tried to do here. In the same vein as his better disaster pictures, he has enlisted several talented individuals in the roles of his cookie-cutter characters, which helps pass the long running time when most of the dialogue is something to the effect of “Oh God!” or “Look Out!”

The tagline for 2012 reads, “We were warned.” Allow me to warn you, the potential viewer. Know that 2012 is as big and as stupid as they come. Know that it is overly long and will grate on your nerves after a while. Know that it is tailor made to hit every emotional button while it inundates you with CGI and clichéd moments of human triumph.

But damn if it isn’t kind of fun to watch.

Alfred (Michael Caine) in The Dark Knight remarks, some men just want to watch the world burn. He was in fact referring to guys like Roland Emmerich and Michael Bay, who after all love to do nothing but to blow up as big a thing as possible. Its almost like Emmerich and Bay have a competition among them on who can spend the maximum amount in making a spectacular blow-out. Emmerich’s last big disaster release was the mega spectacle Day After Tomorrow and he needed to find a way to better that and thus decided to make 2012.

2012

2012 is the year when Earth’s crust is supposed to melt and could potentially lead to the “extinction of the species” (Yes, the movie throws as many cliches as the number of misfields by the Indian team). Adrian Helmsley (Chiwetel Ejiofor) discovers this and along with the President of the US (Danny Glover) and other heads of states, come up with a plan to survive this. Meanwhile, we have John Cusack playing a failed author Jackson Curtis who now drives limo and has been separated from wife and 2 kids, taking the kids out to Yellowstone National Park where he encounters a heavy government presence and runs into Woody Harrelson, who runs a radio program supporting the 2012 apocalypse prediction and conveys to Cusack that the government has built ships to survive the impending doom. Rest of the movie is about how John Cusack and his family escape everything that Mother Nature has to throw at them right from earthquakes to volcanoes to tsunamis.

I wont talk of plausibility here as a disaster movie offers no scope for that. I mean this is a perfect leave-your-brain-at-home movie and yes, it has been spectacularly shot. Emmerich has certainly destroyed everything remotely possible on Earth in his movies. One feels he definitely cant better it unless he decides to blow up the moon in his next venture.  Tremendously rendered, there is an almost visceral feel watching California slide into the ocean or watching a battleship carried atop a tidal wave crashing into the White House (Really!)

Of course, there is only a limit to which one can watch John Cusack and co escape from everything including the kitchen sink that Earth has to throw at them. The movie could have been made much better with reduced flab. There are some interesting questions that the movie raises in terms of how to communicate that the world is ending, how to select people who should be given the chance to survive etc but then this is a disaster movie, all these questions are given only lip service.

The real star of the show is Ejiofor. He carries his role with admirable passion. He is uncomfortable with the fact that a great part of humanity is not given a chance and struggles to come to grips with it. He raises a lot of moral questions and displays great conviction in his role. John Cusack and the rest just have to be present in the movie and dont attract special attention despite being in the movie for large portions.

Full of cliches and predictable sequences, the movie is nonetheless a visual treat and should be experienced on a large screen. However, there is a limit to which one can watch things go boom and fatigue does set in.

Rating – 6/10

PS: Moral of the story, For a family in an Emmerich movie to come together, the whole world has to suffer

          Director Roland Emmerich is going to destroy the world. It’s inevitable so don’t even bother to get in your cellars or stock up on Twinkies and freeze dried ice cream. How it will happen is the only question. Whether the cause of our demise is giant alien spaceships, asteroids, a second Ice Age, mutated spiders or even Godzilla He will find a way to bring about the apocalypse. It’s just a matter of time. And in his latest film “2012” time is the issue.

            That time specifically is December 12^th, 2012. Emmerich’s Fall season blockbuster is loosely based on the myth that the ancient Mayans had predicted that date to be the end of the world. This explosion a minute disaster movie follows the famous author Jackson Curtis (John Cusack) and his family as they discover hidden information from the world’s governments that reveals the planet will destroy itself right before their eyes. This movie also stars such actors as Amanda Peet, Woody Harrelson, and Danny Glover.

            Let’s just come clean. If you have ever seen a Roland Emmerich film in the last fifteen years then you know exactly what kind of movie you are buying. When you see his films you know that you will be presented with a variety of cataclysmic disasters shown in brilliantly detailed computer generated special effects. The movie very quickly throws it’s viewers into a fast paced high level adrenaline rush. And as long as that fast pace keeps up the momentum audiences will be entertained. Sadly, once the tires stop rolling the viewer will begin to notice how very far fetched and overblown this plot really is.

            It feels like Roland Emmerich made photocopies of all the movies he has ever made, cut out the parts he wanted and pasted them together into one exhaustive two and a half hour long conglomeration. This movie tries to take sub-par plot elements and two dimensional characters and stretch them out for an hour more than the viewer can stay interested in them. By the time this film was over I really wanted the end of the world to come just so I could stand up and use the restroom.

This year’s blockbuster disaster movie “2012″, staring John Cusack, delivers on its promise. It is indeed a spectacular visual tour-de-force of a truly End of the World disaster. In fact, this may well be the Mother of All Disaster Movies. It packs in several different disaster movie scenarios (think “10.5″ meets “Supervolcano” meets “Tidal Wave” meets “The Poseidon Adventure” meets”Independence Day” (for the wanton destruction, not the aliens, of course)) all into one gigantic apocalyptic cataclysm.  It is, to say the very least, big on the “Wow!” factor.

On the other hand, the characters are paper-thin, the plot is linear and not even very compelling, and the science is… well… I guess the best way to put it is “completely and utterly wrong in every possible way imaginable.” Then again, I’ve never seen a disaster movie where the science is even marginally correct (except, perhaps, “Deep Impact”).

What is nice are the visual effects. They are nothing short of fantastic.It is great fun to see Pasadena and LA quite literally side into the Pacific Ocean. The eruption of Yellowstone as a supervolcano, which by itself has been the sole theme of several disaster movies, is also very well done (at lease, special effects-wise). Seeing Las Vegas fall into a giant fissure is definitely a must see. And that’s just round one of the nearly endless the stream of disaster after disaster after disaster.

I also got a big kick of the scene where, as the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel begins to crumble, we see a crack wind its way down the painting of the Creation of Adam, by Michelangelo, it slits exactly where God’s finger is touching Adam’s. What could director Roland Emmerich possibly be trying to tell us with such imagery, I wonder?

Anyway, if you’re looking for a good quality film with a compelling story, interesting characters, or some deeper philosophical meaning, skip this movie. If, on the other hand, you are looking for an exciting film with lots of action and great visual effects, this movie is a good bet.

If you’re not a fan of “Independence Day” or “The Day After Tomorrow” or “Armageddon” or “The Poseidon Adventure” by all means, bypass 2012 at all costs and you can stop reading now — but if you did like any (or all) of those movies, then run, do not walk, to your local theatre to see Roland Emmerich’s insanely entertaining end-of-the-world disaster film.

Let me say right off the bat that I love destruction and explosions and volcanoes and tidal waves in my movies, so right off the bat, I knew this was going to be great fun. And it is. It’s bigger, louder, visually eye-popping science fiction — with a big emphasis on the fiction. It’s 2012 and as predicted by the Mayan calendar thousands of years ago, the planets and sun are in perfect alignment – solar flares cause a heating of the earth’s core, and the fun begins when the earth’s plates start to shift around. The science is murky and not referred to a second time, but that’s all you need to set the story into motion. Presidential advisors sound alarms, noble acts are committed, ignoble ones are defeated, and for the lucky ones, half a million implied survive in arks. Yeah, you heard me right, arks.

But getting there is one rollercoaster ride of a grab-your-popcorn-check-your-brain-cheer-for-the-CGI-destruction experience. John Cusack tries to salvage family ties (he apparently was too distracted writing a fiction novel about the end of the world to pay attention to knock-out Amanda Peet and the kiddies). Woody Harrelson has the strangest cameo as a pirate radio host who predicts it all and narrates it as he watches Yellowstone erupt (this is of the Randy Quaid in Independence Day strange variety). Every character is a paper-cutout as far as backstory and interest. But who cares about the people here. It’s about the effects — and I do not say this lightly — the effects here don’t border on Art…they define CGI Art.

There are wonderful things here — and there are laughable things as well. Emmerich knows that the best way to approach the (bad) script is to make fun, and let the audience laugh along. And you do. There are times you laugh with the movie, and there are times that you laugh at the movie. And it’s all perfectly blended into one extraordinarily entertaining motion picture.

One scene about 3/4 of the way through this (almost three hour) movie finds our family and other stragglers having crash-landed in the mountains, watching helicopters carry a surprising load to their final destination: it’s both art and ludicrous at the same time. It made me smile for many minutes.

I just loved this movie, and I can’t wait to go see it again. Seen in a surprisingly full movie theatre in Ann Arbor this afternoon (I thought I was the only person that didn’t work on Fridays), this is sure to be the fall blockbuster the movie studios have been waiting for. I can’t wait to see the grosses on this one come Monday morning…one caveat — as in many recent adventure action movies, there are several scenes of children in peril: not as intense as Jurassic Park, but enough to cause parents pause to think about their young-ones and their tolerance for this kind of mass-destruction and death and counterbalance it with their estimate of their own kids nightmare quotient before bringing them into the theatre. It’s typical PG-violence — bodies fall but don’t land — drownings, fire, crushing, crashing are mostly implied — bodies fly, they occasionally cling to things in the distance, but for the most part disappear. Again, it’s about the special effects, not the people.

Visual parallels can be drawn to Emmerich’s The Day After Tomorrow – complete with space-view shots of the world below. But it’s a formula that works — and here, it works bigger, faster, louder, and better. It’s the disaster movie to end all disaster movies. And I absolutely had a ball. There is nothing to think about here after you leave the movie theatre, except how amazing the special effects are. And that is exactly what I needed this afternoon. And that’s the view from Ann Arbor today…

UPDATE: Sunday 11-15-09 — The first weekend boxoffice take for 2012 was 65 Million Dollars over three days.

My name is Alex Donald and I’m a disaster movie addict.  Sorry folks, it’s true.  And I know this means that any cultural cred I ever had is now swirling its way down the toilet, but guess what?  I don’t care! 

I am the only person I know, you know and probably most people know, that not only owns a copy of The Core on DVD , but paid €25 for it and has watched it at least ten times.  Come on, how can you not love a movie where the line “who would have thought that weapons of mass destruction would one day save the earth” could be uttered with total seriousness?

I also have The Day After Tomorrow on DVD (also subtitled Run! It’s the Weather! by the GFY girls, which is a way better title in my opinion), and Twister.  I would buy Titanic (arguably one of the best disaster movies ever made) but Kate and Leo and Celine totally ruin it for me.  Am not really much of a fan of volcano themed disaster movies; I guess because lava moves too slowly for it to seem like there’s a great sense of urgency.

So imagine my delight, my barely contained anticipation, when I heard about 2012.  Honestly whenever I think about it, I get shivers. The tickets are booked and I will be there, next Tuesday, ready to watch the film billed as the ultimate disaster movie.   Even though it has received negative reviews in the US, with much criticism levelled at its overly long duration, I am primed to love it.  Biased, moi?!

It’s out tomorrow folks.  Miss it at your peril.

Today I went to see 2012 with Katherine.

I met up with her at Glenny station, even though the silly bugger stood behind a wall and couldn’t see her. Went to make an appointment for a haircut tomorrow (yep. Bee, I’m gonna get one) then went to get the tickets. Saw Charlie and Pricilla on the way and I failed to recognize Charlie because he dyed his hair and was wearing sunnies. I don’t think he appreciated it.

We had heaps of time before the movie starts so we walked to the McDonalds in the Glen were we sat and played on our DS. It was epic. Failed at Bomber-man but was an epic win in Mario Kart. Poor Katherine was winning until she got hit by a Bo-omb and blue spiny shell (are those the names?)

Then we walked back to Village only for me to want to get caramel popcorn from Coles. We walked all the way back, got the caramel popcorn – in my haste to be the one who pays I all but threw my coins at the check-out lady – then walked all the way back to Village and it was hot!

Anyway, we arrived at the cinemas way early anyway so we sat around a bit. Gave Katherine a big hug! Awwwwww.

Went into the cinemas and realized our seats suck. Besides there’s a strange teen Asian couple in front of us and it was awkward. So we moved to better seats but got kicked out when their owners came. Got new seats again and this time a bunch of dumb sounding Asians sat in front of us (I say dumb because in the movie the President of the United States is African-American and one of them asked, “isn’t he meant to look like Obama?”).

The movie was pretty good. Very cliche, and don’t get me started on the improbable way the main characters survived. There were also quite a few biblical symbolism in there. One of the funniest and dumbest bits was the main character Jackson having fallen down a huge crack in the ground in a van. By all means he should be dead, but nope he climbs back up and make it on a plane taking off. Also, he, an author, managed to drive through a collapsing city (literally) in a limo missing a door and without breaking it.

There was this guy in the movie called Charlie, who was a bit iffy in the head but he knew everything was happening. There was a scene where he stood before the ground erupting like a volcano and birds were just hauling ass outta there, and he stood there waving his arms and saying “fly, birdies fly!”

Well, won’t give more away. I do recommend seeing it on the big screen. It’s pretty funny at bits. It was a fun day too! Lots of laughs.

Hope to hang out with Katherine again some time.

Also, for many people, they’ve just finished all their exams. Congratulations, guys! To all those with a few more left; kill them good!

Alex

/edit Oh crap almost forgot! Today when Katherine and I were walking around the Glen, this really tall guy passed us. I was just making a short joke about her when the guy, instead of stepping aside so his arm won’t bump into Katherine, simply raised his arm above her head and kept walking.

Okay, now I feel better having said that.

The adventure

BIG FISH
Director: Tim Burton
Starring: Ewan McGregor, Albert Finney, Billy Crudup, Jessica Lange, Steve Buscemi
Released: 2003
IMDB
Trailer (opens in a new window)

Synopsis: Throughout his life Edward Bloom (Ewan McGregor) has always been a man of big appetites, enormous passions and tall tales.  In his later years, portrayed by five-time Best Actor Oscar® nominee Albert Finney (Best Actor in a Supporting Role, Erin Brockovich, 2000), he remains a huge mystery to his son, William (Billy Crudup).  Now, to get to know the real man, Will begins piecing together a true picture of his father from flashbacks of his amazing adventures in this marvel of a movie. (From the DVD cover)

Why watch this? I see absolutely no reason for why you shouldn’t. This is a colourful, fascinating, crazy, fantastic fairy tale for adults. Tim Burton is easy to recognise, and this is no exception, although it’s not as dark as Edward Scissorhands, Sleepy Hollow, Sweeney Todd etc. This is the story of a son trying to find out who his father really is, behind all the amazing stories. The editing, music, dialogue and general impression is just wonderful, and if you haven’t watched this yet – then I really don’t know what you are waiting for.

The horror movie

[REC]
Directors: Jaume Balagueró & Paco Plaza
Starring: Manuela Velasco, Ferran Terraza, Jorge Serrano, Pablo Rozzo
Released: 2007
IMDB
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Synopsis: REC turns on a young TV reporter and her cameraman who cover the night shift at the local fire station. Receiving a call from an old lady trapped in her house, they reach her building to hear horrifying screams – which begin a long nightmare and a uniquely dramatic TV report. (From IMDB)

Why watch this? It’s hard to find a good horror movie. At least I think so. [REC] is very satisfying, considering the challenging genre. The story is pretty good, and you’re (quite literally) left in the dark not understanding what’s actually going on for a long while. Through the camera man and the ambitious reporter’s eyes, a nightmare unfolds, and due to the ‘panicky’ filming (Blair Witch Project, Cloverfield), you’ll probably find yourself dragged into the story. Remember to pick up a copy with subtitles unless you speak Spanish!

The chick flick

THE HOLIDAY

Director: Nancy Meyers
Starring: Jude Law, Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet, Jack Black
Released: 2006
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Synopsis: Iris is in love with a man who is about to marry another woman. Across the globe, Amanda realizes the man she lives with has been unfaithful. Two women who have never met and live 6000 miles apart, find themselves in the exact same place. They meet online at a home exchange website and impulsively switch homes for the holiday. Iris moves into Amanda’s L.A. house in sunny California as Amanda arrives in the snow covered English countryside. Shortly after arriving at their destinations, both women find the last thing either wants or expects: a new romance. Amanda is charmed by Iris’ handsome brother Graham and Iris, with inspiration provided by legendary screenwriter Arthur, mends her heart when she meets film composer Miles. (From IMDB)

Why watch this? Right, listen guys. If your girlfriend is making you watch a chick flick, it might aswell be this one. This is a charming love story, involving all the usual complications and twists a chick flick should include, without getting too cheesy. I find myself  smiling and aww-ing through most of it, and both my brothers and my boyfriend seemed to be okay with this movie.

The documentary

MARCH OF THE PENGUINS

Director: Luc Jacquet
Starring: Lots and lots of penguins
Released: 2005
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Synopsis: The cycle of life the Emperor’s penguins is disclosed in this wonderful documentary. Every autumn, these animal leave the safety of the ocean and march along twenty days to a place called “Oamack”. Once there, they select their mates, they procreate, protect and feed their offspring and after months they return to the sea. Later, their progeny go to the ocean, where they stay for four years, and when they reach their adult life, they follow the same pattern of their parents. (From IMDB)

Why watch this? I’m not gonna lie to you. I adore penguins. And this is the best documentary I’ve EVER seen about them. The camera team has spent ages out there in the extreme cold with them, and made an amazing documentary of it. This is more than your average documentary, you really do get involved emotionally in this one. The music is amazing, and footage is crisp and close to what’s happening. (As a side note, I put this movie on when my boyfriend was sleeping, and tried to wake him up through all of it – but only managed in time for the mating. Now he definately thinks I have an awkward penguin fetish.)

The disaster movie

DOOMSDAY

Director: Neil Marshall
Starring: Rhona Mitra, Jeremy Crutchley, Cecil Carter
Released: 2008
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Synopsis: A lethal virus spreads throughout the British isles, infecting millions and killing hundreds of thousands. To contain the threat, acting authorities brutally quarantine the country as it succumbs to fear and chaos. The quarantine is successful. Three decades later, the Reaper virus violently resurfaces in a major city. An elite group of specialists, including Eden Sinclair, is urgently dispatched into the still-quarantined country to retrieve a cure by any means necessary. Shut off from the rest of the world, the unit must battle through a landscape that has become a waking nightmare. (From IMDB)

Why watch this? If you have a thing for nasty disasters, this is a good example. I do love a good disaster movie, especially the ones involving a crazy epidemic/pandemic.