Have you ever been asked to do something that you did not want to do (for starters)…but subsequently said YES to? How did that make you feel? Compliant, Used, Disempowered, Angry, Disappointed…or just plain Dumb? Were you complaining under your breath whilst you carried out that job, role, request, promise or favor?

If you have done that before, you are not alone. But who do you blame? No one…but your good self. I encourage you to take up your responsibility and own up to that decision, as it is all about choices! Sometimes we make good ones and other times we make not so good ones (and we’ll have to face the consequences of making either choices).

Of course there are times when the need arises for us to be selfless and help out…but just as important, there are also times that we need to put ourselves first! Uh-huh, you heard what I just said. If we do not know (appreciate) how to put ourselves first, who else will?

One of my favorite authors and Coach is self-care guru Cheryl Richardson. She shares passionately about creating space and loving yourself enough to make time to care for you! If you allow yourself to be a doormat…you have just given up your right to choose (and allow others to step all over you *thank you*).

There will be times in your life when you need to say NO! Of course with a smile and with grace, it is important to stand your ground to keep your priorities in check and in focus. There is much power and responsibility in the choices that we all make.

Will you be able to stand up and be counted for what you (really want to) say and mean?

• NO = I will not marry you until I see you beginning to commit now…not after the marriage…
• NO = I will not take on more responsibilities even if it means I get new job title and a raise…
  
• NO = I will not accept anything that goes against my morals or values…
• NO = I will not be taken for a ride or for granted and my rights are important…
• YES = I will say yes to more work-life balance starting now not tomorrow…
• YES = I will respect myself more vs. be concerned of what others think of me…
• YES = I will appreciate my strengths and not look down on myself and my inabilities…
• YES = I will agree with doing something for someone because I want to…not because I’m obliged to…
• And the list goes on…

What are some tough decisions that you need to make today? Whatever the choice…be confident and be glad that you are making it…by yourself and for yourself! The more you do this, the greater the results you will experience in your life.

Are you stuck?  How much time do you spend waiting for things to happen before you make decisions?

To get a better understanding of who you are, we will be discussing the seven areas of your life and they are:

Spiritual, Financial, Family, Social, Physical, Mental, and Vocational.

What is your Value System? 

This is your DNA, it is what makes you tick, its’ what is important to you.  It’s also who you are.

A good many people don’t know who they are.  We are going to explore these areas and therefore we will find out who you are.  With a better understanding of the seven areas of life you will transform your life and the way you think.

The benefits of knowing your value system allows you to:

• Know yourself and what inspires you.
• Change your reality by changing your values.
• Achieve goals by learning to set them aligned to your values.
• Be inspired to do even the most mundane of your day activities.
• Be inspired and focused no mater the outer perceived obstacles.
• Empower any area of your life you currently perceive as disempowered.

 Knowing your values empowers you to have control on things that are out of control. 

We take on so many other people’s values that we loose our identity and therefore we have an identity crisis. 

We have to be thin, rich, beautiful, being successful, to have a perfect family, and in control at all times, and that is only the media telling us who we are. 

What about our spouse, children, parents etc. who also tell us what to do and who we should be. 

No wonder we are confused and stress out. 

 STOP! ….. Take a breath and read on. 

 Great news! There are solutions to your situation…….

 If you are balanced in the seven areas you will have:

 Spiritual

• Awakens and humbles your mind to our great God.
• Opens your mind to greater wisdom and truth.
• Opens your heart to greater love and appreciation.

Mental

• Organizes your ideas and thoughts bringing order out of chaos.
• Expands your mind and awakens your intuitive faculties.
• Clears away your emotionally charged memories and imaginations
• Helps you develop more certainty and presences.

 Vocational

• Adds more certainty and clarity to your career direction.
• Enables you to see both sides of decisions and advance.
• Inspires a greater inner motivation.
• Increases wise action and decreases foolish reaction.

 Financial

• Helps you develop greater self-worth. 
• Decreases your excuses that tend to sabotage wealth.
• Moderates your over or under spending.
• Expands your time horizons and patience.

I will show you how to be balanced in all your seven areas and you will become ..”unstuck”….  This is where we will leave it till the next time.  We will continue next week with the benefits on the Family, Social, and Physical. 

Until then Stay In Touch……

For booking one on one coaching/counselling email: denise@vodamail.co.za

this drawing was done after reading an email that triggered sadness, plummeting feelings, drop in stomach and furious anger. 

talked on the phone about:
- broken down disempowered experience
- being strong
- hope for growth
- the words in the drawing say: “because I’m harder to knock down”

I took Accountability 1 & 2 back in May & June (with a different teacher), so this one had been sitting around for a while. But I wasn’t lost or confused – I eased right back into the material, which was nice.

Angela lead the class into a discussion as to when we were resistant to take accountability (since that’s the way most of our clients will come to us), how we felt and what we thought. She helped us verbalize that feeling of disempowerment when we’re down for the count, and conversely that feeling of control that you have when you decide to take responsibility.

The big tidbits that I got from this class were:

* Passive behavior is an aggressive act, and aggression can come from feeling powerless. Cool, huh?

* Everyone is trained to be a victim. Victims are the one who are acknowledged, given attention, and looked after

* With responsibility comes freedom – not the other way around.

All of these points hit me for different reasons, but the bottom line is where you choose to live:

above the line, where you’re responsible, accountable, and empowered or below the line, where you live with blame, denial, and justification.

Where do you live now? Where do you want to live?

From Richard Rohr – Search for the Holy Grail

“The way to bother with [opposite sides | opinions | polarities], is to stand in between and speak truth on both sides. But when you speak truth on both sides, normally neither side will hear you or fully accept you. For me, the insight of the Gospel is this: We must build the bridge.
We must be the pontifex, the bridge builder. We cannot build a bridge from the middle. We have to build a bridge from one side. The Gospel says you must build a bridge from the side of the disempowered ones. (This is divine revelation. Common sense or culture have never reached this conclusion; only God reveals it.)