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My pool. Don't be fooled by the reflection of the blue sky.

My pool is a nice shade of lime.

My moldy porch is a lovely place to sit in this welcome breeze today.

I just enjoyed a baked potato in a rare clean dish in the kitchen. But I didn’t use the kitchen table because it’s piled high with laundry. I ate at my desk, covered with notepads, a dollar bill, sunglasses, wadded Kleenex, Jergen’s lotion, various pill bottles, November 2009 Elle, Glade Apple Cinnamon candle, Nivea creme, a small glass vial of Aveda Blue Oil (stuff’s pricy), vial of Escape! perfume, a ceramic coaster with a duck painted on it that belongs to my ex and he needs to take back, a CD of The Basement Tapes which a friend sent me and I still haven’t listened to but I like to read what’s written on the yellow post-it note stuck on it: Con Complimenti, Excedrin Extra Strength, a mushy old grape, green headband, and no room to THINK.

Point being that I can’t write in a chaotic environment. Unless I absolutely have to — i.e. journalism.

We are out of that adrenaline-fueled, gun-to-head business, though. So the brain needs order.

And everywhere I look in my house, disorder, every day.

Of course it’s the logical consequence of having three kids, three dogs, two cats, and no ability to say “when”.

But that doesn’t help matters, that sort of snotty comment. Honestly, I thought you were nicer.

I shouldn’t be here, you know. I should be getting that ugly goo off the coffee table. Sweeping up the kitty litter Buddy and Abby (and Poozer, Roscoe and Skittlez) like to spew all over the laundry room. Vacuuming up the rotten potato stuck to the bottom of the pantry. Picking up the roughly six pairs of dirty undies I bet I’d find scattered throughout the floors of my home right this very moment.

Which is more important — the writing or the living?

I can’t decide. And so I sit here, at the dirty desk, staring at the green pool and the moldy porch and the kitchen table to my left piled high with laundry and a tennis shoe, and I write about it.

And I feel like that’s a compromise, not a win. A paralyzation, not action.

Like it or not, I’m the Mom. Accept no substitutes.

Besides, I can’t afford to hire a replacement. 

Right now I need to invest all my money in chlorine.

wednesday 11th.
periods 1 and 2- art.
periods 3 and 4- japanese listening.

tuesday 17th.
9:00- maths.
1:30- sociology.

wednesday 18th.
9:00- english.

thursday 19th.
1:30- religion.

friday 20th.
9:00- japanese.

monday 23rd.
12:00- japanese oral.

FML

It’s about Patriarchy.

I won’t be ruled by it.

I am a Matriarch. I run my Own life. I set my Own agenda. You aren’t here to do it for me.

I love it when we join forces. We’re so powerful. Two really are much more than two.

But if you want to put me down, we can’t build anything up.

And I’m out the door.

That’s how it is.

With men. With bosses. With Presidents.

Work with me and we’ll make beautiful music.

Try to stomp me and you’ve met your lifelong foe.

I will survive. Have so far.

Depois de ter sido agredida pelo cantor Chris Brown em 07 de fevereiro de 2009, após a festa do Grammy, em Los Angeles, a popstar Rihanna resolveu quebrar o silêncio e deu sua primeira entrevista à TV para a jornalista Diane Sawyer no programa “Good Morning America“, da ABC.

Nascida em Barbados, Rihanna, cujas canções de sucesso incluem : “S.O.S.”, “Umbrella” e “Disturbia”, disse que sentiu vergonha quando o público tomou conhecimento do incidente. Uma foto feita pela polícia que mostra o rosto dela machucado e sangrando foi vazada para a imprensa, e uma descrição detalhada dos fatos foi incluída nos documentos do tribunal.

Eu não queria que as pessoas pensassem que é esse tipo de pessoa — que eu me apaixonei por essa pessoa”, disse Rihanna .

Isso é vergonhoso. É vergonhoso o fato de ser esse o tipo de pessoa por quem me apaixonei, me apaixonei tanto, de modo tão incondicional, que voltei para ele”, completou.

Rihanna e Chris Brown voltaram juntos semanas depois da agressão edecidiu romper o namoro com Brown.

É normal voltar, você começa a mentir para você mesma. Assim que as feridas físicas saram, você quer que tudo isso vá embora. É uma lembrança que você nunca mais quer ter.”

Mas a cantora de 21 anos disse que foi motivada a deixar Brown por saber que muitas meninas a admiram.

Quando me dei conta de que minha decisão egoísta pelo amor poderia levar alguma garota a ser morta, não fiquei tranquila”.

Eu não podia me sentir responsável por dizer a elas ‘voltem’ (aos seus namorados). Mesmo que Chris nunca me batesse de novo, quem pode garantir que os namorados delas não o fariam?”

Rihanna aconselhou as mulheres que são vítimas de abusos a amarem-se em primeiro lugar.

Afaste-se da situação, olhe para ela na terceira pessoa, veja a situação como o que realmente é e então tome sua decisão, porque o amor é cego”, disse.

Ele pediu desculpas publicamente e começou a prestar serviços comunitários, que incluem limpeza de estradas, em seu Estado natal da Virgínia.

A cantora ainda afirmou que seu ex-namorado Chris Brown “não tinha alma em seus olhos” depois de bater nela dentro do carro.

A cantora, que já não está mais com Brown, disse que ele foi seu primeiro grande amor.

Quando mais nos apaixonávamos, mais perigosos nos tornávamos um para o outro. Era quase como uma obsessão”, disse.

Rihanna ainda disse que a noite da agressão “foi feia” e que, enquanto apanhava, não tinha ideia do que aconteceria a ela.

Tudo que eu conseguia pensar era ‘quando isso vai acabar?”, disse.

Apesar da agressão, Rihanna disse que ainda se importa com o ex-namorado.

Eu não o odeio. Na verdade, eu o amo, me importo com ele e me preocupo se ele está bem. Eu quero que ele tenha uma bela carreira, uma vida incrível, que cresça. Quero que ele sinta isso como algo que tinha que acontecer para que ele crescesse e aprendesse”, disse.

Chris Brown foi preso no dia 8 de fevereiro, horas depois de ser acusado de bater em Rihanna. Segundo documentos da polícia, o rapper bateu, socou e tentou empurrar a namorada do carro em que estavam. Ele se declarou culpado e foi condenado a dois anos de liberdade condicional.

O pai da cantora Rihanna criticou o sistema de justice Americano por ter dado uma pena leve para Chris Brown, o ex-namorado da moça.

No início desse mês, Brown foi condenado a seis meses de trabalho comunitário.

De acordo com o site “Popcrunch”, o pai da garota, Ronald Fenty, está indignado porque o homem não está até agora atrás das grades.

Ele deveria estar na cadeia. Chris deveria ter ido para a prisão pelo que fez com minha menina. Ele saiu de forma leve, mas colocou Rihanna no inferno.”

Clique abaixo para ver o vídeo legendado em português  com a entrevista completa online:

Entrevista Completa Legendada em PT.br

Leonardo Portela

]]> http://disturbiaclothing.wordpress.com/2009/11/06/here-there-and-everywhere/ Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:42:09 +0000 disturbiaclothing http://disturbiaclothing.wordpress.com/2009/11/06/here-there-and-everywhere/

God we’ve been busy!! Every week, more Disturbia tees are finding there way to the far reaches of this planet. It’s such a great feeling knowing like-minded people at home, and in distant countries will be proudly wearing Disturbia. 

Got to say a big thank you to our great customers for keeping us so busy! : Thank you… 

apart from being at gloria jeans for five hours each day of this weekend, i got to have fun. this fun came at alex dew’s house in a tent, accompanied by him, megan and fran, a purple recorder, the it crowd season one, a camera, vegetarian pizza, a trip to claremont village/claremont primary, mosquito head nets, party poppers, a keyboard, a webcam, smart juice, smartie cereal, shorts, buns, the hills, lochie dew, megan nearly getting aids, drunken bogans, rigged train lights, a trampoline, a hammock, a cancelled trip to daniel kleeman’s house, a declined invitation from cam, sugarfree sprite and halloween hype. oh yeah, and there’s a party in the usa.

The lunatics are running the asylum here at Disturbia this Halloween; because with every order over £30 we’ll throw in a FREE mystery tee in your size! !

This offer will run until midnight Friday 6th Novmeber, and cannot be used in conjunction with any other offer. Free tees are non-returnable.

from Holland have featured our Messenger bag in their latest issue. Thanks Sophie!

four weeks until exams now and i swear i have homework for each and every subject. git faaarked, subjects.
james gulliver hancock replied to my email, that is cool.
oh, and i’ve nearly passed the half-way mark towards my goal.

Why do we like the music that we like? That is the question explored by Rob Walker in a great piece in this week’s New York Times Magazine about the Internet radio station Pandora. Pandora attempts to deconstruct the music you like and find similar songs to match your taste, without any nonmusical filters whatsoever.

I’ve already sung the praises of listening to the radio, but that has some major drawbacks: annoying DJs, repetitive set lists, lots and lots of commercials. Pandora, however, presents itself as something of a solution to these problems (they still have commercials, but only like 15 seconds worth every four songs, not the five minutes worth every three on the radio). 

Here’s how it works: You go to the website (or you get their app, which is more common, but my cell phone is from late 2008, so I can’t do that yet) and enter a song* or artist you like. From that, Pandora will construct a radio station around similar songs. You can approve or disapprove of every song, and with each judgment, the radio station refines its idea of your taste.

*Another interesting tidbit from the article is that Pandora will not play the actual song that you enter because of how much the licensing fees go up for being an “on demand” music playing website. 

What’s so intriguing about Pandora is the way that it tries to balance subjective and objective judgments. Unlike a lot of programs like this, Pandora does not rely solely on digital analysis of melodies and harmonies. They have musicians rate songs for things like how gravelly the voice is and even how “emotionally intense” a guitar solo is. In fact, the Music Genome Project, which is how the songs are described and analyzed, includes nearly 400 attributes, ranging from “avant-garde leanings” to “violent lyrics.” 

If you put in “Disturbia,” for example, Pandora will tell you to listen to “Hot N Cold” by Katy Perry because it has “basic rock song structures, repetitive melodic phrasing, major key tonality, a vocal-centric aesthetic and vocal harmonies.” This is a very interesting blend of judgments. It seems straightforward enough to pick a song with “basic rock song structures” (I mean, pretty much any pop song is going to have that, right?), but how exactly is “a vocal-centric aesthetic” judged? I don’t disagree with the assessment, but it doesn’t seem like something that can be quantified.

It’s good that Pandora doesn’t ignore these judgments: Although I’d never put it that way before, describing “Disturbia” as having “a vocal-centric aesthetic” makes perfect sense. Sometimes these difficult-to-measure qualities of music are the most fundamental aspects of a song. Just because they are difficult to measure or explain doesn’t mean they are impossible to gauge.

Pandora seems to employ some kind of intersubjective method of calibrating these things. They have musicologists listen to the songs and rate them from objective to subjective qualities. While these people are making some subjective judgments, such as how “risky” the percussion is, they are not making such judgments about the overall quality of a song; in other words, they are not judging it according to their own tastes. Their goal is not to tell you if a song is good or bad, but to tell you what a song sounds like.

This is an important distinction, since Pandora aims to be a radio station without any taste-masters or gatekeepers. There are no “experts” telling you what the “right” or “cool” music to like is; the connections are based entirely on music. If you put in a hip band and get back a lame one, it’s because the songs sound alike, in at least some way. It’s possible that you won’t like a suggested song, or that you’ll disagree with a description (I don’t know, for example, if I would say that “Come Together” has “great lyrics”), but they are at least ostensibly connected in some sonic way.

Of course, many of the reasons people listen to music are nonmusical, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. If a friend suggests an album I may like, or if I listen to a song because it brings back good memories, then those aren’t strictly “musical” reasons for listening to something, but they are still good. Listening to music because it’s one of the five songs currently being played on the radio, or because it’s the most famous one by an artist, or because it got a positive review by a “hip” critic, or because you want people to know you like “cool” music, etc. are all pretty bad reasons to choose music. Selecting music based on musical qualities, whether it be the “repetitive melodic phrasing” of “Hot N Cold,” or the “clear focus on recording studio production” of “A Day in the Life,” is bound to result in a better listening experience.

- Jean Paul Gualtier will be the next designer to collaborate with Target. The line will be in stores from March 7th thru April 11th

- Oprah will sit down to talk w/ Sarah Palin on November 16th for her talk show.

- Today Rihanna premiered her new song “Russian Roulette.” It’s definitely no “Disturbia”…

LULZ at Brody Jenner for PETA. Somehow I can’t take this seriously… look at that mean mug.

- The Weather Channel will now start showing movies. The first one? “The Perfect Storm.”

- Mischa Barton is quitting television, “”I think I need to back away from the whole TV approach. That whole world of network television, probably isn’t, for me, a good idea now. I need to start reading for more serious roles.”

EDIT: 3 new songs from Rated R reviewed HERE!  Enjoy!

EDIT 2: the full Rated R album review HERE

Rihanna’s new song, “Russian Roulette”, premiered today and it has taken a lot of people by surprise.  Namely, because the Ne-Yo produced track is a dark ballad.  Now, a lot of people don’t like Rihanna when she sings songs like “Unfaithful” and “Take A Bow”.  They tend to prefer her uptempo material, and with songs like “Umbrella”, “S.O.S.” and “Sell Me Candy”, who can argue with that?  But “Take A Bow” was a fantastic, simple song with a touching lyric and nice piano chords, and this new track also delivers the goods.

Rihanna’s vocals have improved – she still sounds somewhat like a goat, but this is probably one of the best vocals she has turned in.  I remember when she first came on the scene, and seeing her perform “Pon De Replay” live, I saw some vocal potential which had yet to be developed.  That potential seemed to disappear during the campaigns for A Girl Like Me and Good Girl Gone Bad (a fantastic album, but one driven more by production and songwriting than the talents of the singer herself).  In short, she often sounded like a goat bleating, and many many blogs and people I know have compared her to that animal.  On “Russian Roulette”, there is less bleating and more vocal promise – the dark lyrics and strong melody allow Rihanna to stretch her vocal cords without ever sounding strained or out of her comfort zone.

Lyrically, the song is smart too.  It never uses the words “russian roulette” (perhaps avoiding censorship from over-zealous radio stations, though references to “guns” and “triggers” are still present) but leaves the metaphor ambiguous – she could be talking about an actual game of Russian roulette, or she could be talking about a dangerous, damaging love. (Hello Chris Brown.) The tension between feelings of vulnerability and strength is explored as the theme of the song, and despite it being lyrically concise, words like “I’m terrified but I’m not leaving / Know that I must pass this test” convey that conflict effectively.  The song ends ambiguously, with the bridge lyric being “It’s too late to pick up the value of my life” and a gunshot signalling the song’s climax.  We don’t know whether that gunshot means that Rihanna has lost the game of Russian roulette, or whether she put the gun to her head only to survive and play another game.  Either way, it is suggested that the singer is brave enough to play the game and confront her demons / love / whatever you think the song is about.  It’s very open to interpretation.

I’ve read a lot of complaints about the song – it’s a ballad and Rihanna can’t sing them; we wanted another “Umbrella” or “Don’t Stop The Music”; we thought it would be catchier and an uptempo dance smash; it’s not edgy enough.  I was pleasantly surprised by Rihanna’s choice to use a ballad for her lead single.  I don’t think that it will be massively successful, simply because people’s idea of a smash hit record seems to be anything (particularly coming from RedOne or Ryan Tedder – *yawn*) with a 4/4 beat and vocals which repeat the same line / word / syllable over and over again (see: Lady GaGa, who has built a large part of her career on writing songs which go “mamamama papa-papa po-po-po-poker face po-po-po-po-po oh ohhhhohohoh oh oh ra ra ha ha ha ra ra ha ha ha ga ga” and then dancing around to them in silly, ‘avant-garde’ outfits).

“Russian Roulette” was not what I expected.  Like everyone else, I expected an uptempo, faux-’edgy’ stab at R&B-rock-pop with a dance edge and a repetitive, multi-hooked chorus.  But I am pleased with what we got, which was a dark, brooding ballad showing long-overdue vocal promise and interesting lyricism to match the music and tense vocal delivery.  After getting bored with Rihanna and her awful collaboration with Maroon 5 and that annoying “Disturbia” song (“bum bum be dum bum bum be dum bum” – why is singing stupid rhythms with non-existent words deemed the high end of songwriting these days? *smh*), this song has opened my ears again and I am once more interested in what she has to offer.

Bank of America just called. Just like they called yesterday. And the day before.

A soft-spoken Indian woman tried to rattle off to me how Bank of America is concerned that I haven’t made a credit card payment in three months.

I won’t tell you what I said to her. I will say that I apologized in advance and told her that the message was not for her, but was to be delivered to Bank of America.

I then told her to put me on the list of people not to be called and bothered anymore by Bank of America and its poor, lowly-paid, constantly abused Indian telephone workers.

I’m not being robbed blind by Bank of America anymore. I’m not paying that card. Whatever happens to me, happens.

Bank of America wouldn’t settle with me when I was trying to be reasonable. I made them a generous offer to pay them thousands of dollars, all at once, that I don’t even owe them. Not really. Not when they’ve upped my interest rate to 29% and slapped so many fees and fines and penalties on me that I could never pay that card now. I could literally spend the rest of my life trying to pay off that card and be unable. And they racked up the charges, not me. Go ahead and frisk my life. I don’t have any fancy clothes or boats or anything else I bought thanks to the largesse of BOA.

They just screwed me into being in debt with them. They have skewered me and put me on the end of their stick, to roast for life.

Said it before and I’ll say it again.

I’ve survived hurricanes, floods, forest fires, pandemics, cancer, being teased in elementary school, and being betrayed by all the people I thought were my best friends.

What the hell can Bank of America do to me that’s worse?

I’m unemployed, uninsured, and broke. Want to send me to the poorhouse? Want to send my kids to the orphanage?

Just try it.

Bring it on, you corporate overlords of greed. Bring it on.

i feel so out of place, i don’t like this.

Después de un rato de silencio me sobreviene la soledad , recuerdo que la desolación no es la soledad, lo primero es echar de menos un sitio, una persona o cualquier otra cosa…que nos crea sufrimiento ,mientras que lo segundo es la presencia de uno mismo, tal como decía Osho ,con nuestra presencia podemos llenar todo el Universo, no sólo la habitación o la ciudad o el Planeta.

Estamos tan locos y tan lejos de nuestra naturaleza original que vídeos como el de Rhianna – Disturbia puede hacernos comprender que nuestros sentimientos y emociones, toda la diarrea mental escapa a nuestro control, sean del origen que sean, la libertad está en tu mano, la llave para abrir la jaula de nuestro propio ser siempre ha estado en nuestro bolsillo, lo olvidamos y ahora realizamos que nos falta algo, otros que están reconectando también encuentran la llave, en forma de eclipse, en forma de iluminación, da igual…

Me encantan las frases del hombre de este vídeo,como esta:

“…poder en el ultimo termino es sugerir al universo una practica que equilibre al apego de la consciencia y el resultado de la experiencia…”

básicamente, son las mismas cosas que vengo diciendo desde el principio de los blogs que escribo, también son cosas que aperecen en libros…hay más para gente que esté interesada en ensoñamiento

OK, don’t you just hate it when you want something to go on forever and it just…stops. Yeah, that is pretty much the way it goes around here, all the highlights ending and then we crash back into the lovely idea we have of reality. Doesn’t that just SUCK.

So today, I am going to try and focus on the good parts of my life: the sleepover parties. They are totally clean events and we talk, eat shit, watch Disturbia and a million other movies [[oh yeah, today at my friend Maddz' birthday party, we OFFICIALLY decided that at every sleepover party we have, we will watch Disturbia AT LEAST once, even if we are completely over it - unlikely - and talk throughout the whole thing. Because let's face it - Disturbia is one of the best movies of all time and it has it ALL: the funny asian best friend, the hot hero, the smart slut, action, a serial killer HEAPS of comedy and a house arrest to throw in the mix. Oh, and can't forget the whole idea of stalking the neighbours. If I had hot neighbours, I would DEFINITELY spy on them. Duh, you'd be insane not to]]. And I love every bit of ‘em. Especially since our group is pretty small so there’s just a good amount to have a couple more girls in and for it not to turn into a total bitch fest. Gotta love the girls.

Hmm…our sleepover parties definitely ROCK and I can’t wait til I have my own, as I have a pool and soon-to-be finished MASSIVE deck. Also on the plus side: my dad is cool with having the guys over until 12pm so we have enough time for dinner, cake and movies. Thumbs up to that! I am pretty sure the only reason dad wants them over is so he can have his little minions back and bost about his new progressions in his beer making and chillis growing. Strange, I know but you can’t control that stuff with men. It’s best to leave it and MOVE ON!

Also last night, I felt a little bad because Contestant #1 asked me what I was doing last night and I replied but he didn’t say anything back. Now, I’m taking a wild guess here but I am pretty sure he was going to invite me to the movie festival thing down at the boat ramp but I can’t be sure and didn’t want to jump to any conclusions. Now, what is up with the no reply thing? Unless he has no credit -hahaha, that’s like saying santa doesn’t wear red – then there is no sane explanation I have come up with. I just hope he didn’t end up going with some 13-year-old sluts or something…now THAT’S a good way to get someone jealous.

OK, another drama I have for ya: why am I embarrassed when a guy asks to read my story? Like in class on Friday, #1 wanted to read it but I got really embarrassed and refused and he got a bit annoyed but WHY WOULD HE WANT TO READ MY CRAP ANYWAY????? Ahh it’s sooo confusing!

I am going to stop now, for fear that my keyboard keys will break for excessive force.

Love your one and only – and majorly confused

Luunagurl xx

P.S. #2’s brother went out with someone. Why is HE the only one that follows the religion???!!