Tom had Katie sign a prenup which didn’t leave Katie with much, but hey, she’s got her own money. Not exactly sure from where …or how much …but I know she’s got to have a pretty little stash of her own. But since she can’t rely on getting anything more than child support, she’s definitely got to get back to … umm, whatever she used to do.

At the end of the day, they were able to come to an agreement on things and can go on with their lives. So it’s a win, win.

Wolfe added, “We thank Tom’s counsel for their professionalism and diligence that helped bring about this speedy resolution.”

I guess all is fair in love and war. Sounds like they both got wanted they wanted.

NEW YORK (AP) — Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have reached an agreement in their divorce case, according to her attorney.

Holmes attorney Jonathan Wolfe said in a statement Monday that the case has been settled and an agreement was signed.

An assistant in his office who would not give her name would not elaborate on the agreement or say if the couple was now divorced.

Holmes filed for divorce less than two weeks ago, putting an end to the romance that began in 2005. The couple has a 6-year-old daughter, Suri.

Copyright 2012 The Associated Press.

In this Feb. 26, 2012 file photo, actors Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes arrive at the Vanity Fair Oscar party, in West Hollywood, Calif. Cruise and Holmes have reached an agreement in their divorce case, according to her attorney. -AP Photo

LOS ANGELES: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have reached a “private” divorce settlement less than two weeks after the actress announced their split, a lawyer and publicists for the couple said Monday.

At the same time the Hollywood pair issued a joint statement saying they were committed to protecting their six-year-old daughter Suri.

“The case has been settled and the agreement has been signed. We are thrilled for Katie and her family and are excited to watch as she embarks on the next chapter of her life,” her lawyer Jonathan Wolfe said.

“We thank Tom’s counsel for their professionalism and diligence that helped bring about this speedy resolution,” he added in a statement, giving no further details of the settlement terms.

Holmes and Cruise’s joint statement stressed their desire to protect their daughter.

“We are committed to working together as parents to accomplish what is in our daughter Suri’s best interests,” they said in the statement sent to AFP.

“We want to keep matters affecting our family private and express our respect for each other’s commitment to each of our respective beliefs and support each other’s roles as parents,” they added.

Asked about the terms of the settlement, Lundberg reiterated: “They are private.” Holmes announced on June 29 that she was filing for divorce to end the star couple’s five-year-old marriage, apparently taking Cruise by surprise.

Speculation over the cause of the split has focused on Holmes’ reported concern that Cruise wanted their daughter to be immersed more deeply in the Church of Scientology, of which he is a prominent member.

The guidelines for promoting ones own dwelling devoid of any hitches are pretty very simple; you need to ensure that your household is in perfect shape when you certainly want to sell it successfully. An excellent tip to sale rent back would be to first acquire the time to discover and establish what the purchasers are on the lookout for. Once you know what a prospective buyer to get a property wants, you can tailor your residence to fit it. When ones own property meets the publicize need of homebuyers, you are able to rest assured which you will sell it off rapidly.

What’s Limited Sale?

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Why is this specific so? The motive behind this particular is that these someone haven’t been in a position to sell your house quick. This specific causes a good deal of problems to each the partners, as neither is in a position to acquire on with their lives smoothly, meet fresh individuals or move someplace else. Nevertheless, when the home gets sold quickly in such instances, the cash also helps a whole lot in settling things swiftly for both the partners.

Before Brief Excellent Deal

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Don’t Just Sell It To A Client

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First of all, Beth’s husband Nobu, was in several photos comforting, rocking and holding Alex during the wedding. He supported her unconditionally, during a family event. Nobu embraced his responsibity and never showed any resentments nor complained about his situation. He did the next right thing, he did what he was called to do, and he submitted to his wife, by caring for their son.

As I slowly turned the Wedding Album photos over, afraid of the rush of memories, emotions and pain….I really looked at the photo of me, as a new bride. And if it was yesterday, I remember feeling scared of the future, unprepared and with a false front for everyone…although I know God chose Jim for me to love, and try to grow with each other, I also know God alerted me many times during our marriage, that I was on the wrong path….

My gut check was there so many times and I know that if I could have stayed firm, confident and solid, that our marriage would have survived. His gender bias was subtle at first, then I noticed that if I were more authoritative on a subject, he shot me down, quickly and his goal was to weaken my opinions, mock my values and generally, with my permission I must add, lead me to believe I was inadequate, in every area of our lives. Nothing I did was approved by him, all achievements were minimized by equating dollars with success and the worst form of abuse that I still hurt from: he negated facts, issues and real problems we had, in front of parents, family, friends, therapists and church groups. His remarks dismissed me, my feelings and my trust. And he would always throw it back on me, saying, “Don’t be so sensitive or You are the only problem in my life, no one else or Why does everyone hate you?” and always said quietly so no one else ever heard, the subtle, soul destroying abuse that I absorbed,allowed to shape my identity and determine who I was…  I lost myself, cause I wanted to please him, be the best wife and mother God designed me to be…I exchanged martyrdom with love and Christianity…

I do not regret my choices, regarding raising my kids when they were young. I loved them so much and used every bit of my soul, brain and love to be the best mom for them. As they grew into young adults, I sidestepped my own growth…Jim was supported and encouraged and loved thru his trials and tribulations with work by me, and I just assumed that he would do the same for me.  I was wrong, he does not have the same values nor dedication that I wanted in a spouse. I am very sad about that.  How is it that I give myself so much to a person and when it is time for me to fly, they disappear?

Verbal Abuse

I am not going to discuss physical or sexual abuse because there are many good books written on the subject already. I’d rather expose the other two types of abuse that are rarely ever mentioned.

A person can be so verbally abused that they don’t know what’s true anymore. This abuse is designed to put a person in a numb state so they are unable to make clear, concise decisions. The path of verbal abuse leads a person from what they know as truth into a confused state. This confused state arises because the abuser consistently interjects lies as truth until the abused no longer knows what to believe. For example, we can see this happen when the abuser uses truths from the Bible to justify a lie, or the abuser twists the Bible’s true intent to satisfy his own selfish motive. The sad part comes when the abused embraces the lies from the abuser as truth, thereby disregarding the real truth. At this point the abused feels like they are in chains of bondage with no way out. A trusted godly person is like a life preserver to the abused at this point. For “the mouth of the righteous is a well of life” (Proverbs 10:11a).

There are three very important factors in verbal abuse. They are deception, confusion and reality or truth. We go through these steps during our lives until our belief system is built on a firm foundation of truth. The verbally abused spend most of their lives without a foundation of truth in their hearts and minds, but are in continual deception and confusion.

Confusion is a path — a means to reality (truth). Confusion is good ONLY when leaving deception and entering into reality (truth). When the Scripture says, “…God is not the author of confusion…” (1Corinthians 14:33), it is saying that GOD DOES NOT GIVE BOTH TRUTH AND A LIE TO DECIDE FROM. HE IS TRUTH!

The three factors are:

Dr. Marshal B. Rosenberg in his book entitled “Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life,” demonstrates the use of peacemaking techniques known as active listening, reframing or looping.   When one is engaged in active listening, one listens very carefully to the speaker, and repeats back the gist of the substance of what was said, as well as the emotion expressed by the speaker.

Dr. Rosenberg provides a riveting example of active listening when he, an American Jew, gave a presentation on nonviolent communication before a group of 170 Palestinians.   Please keep in mind that unbeknownst to Dr. Rosenberg, several empty tear gas canisters had recently been shot into a Palestinian refugee camp, and “Made in U.S. A.” appeared on the canisters. During his presentation, Dr. Rosenberg heard murmurs in the crowd, in which he is called: “Murderer!” “Child-killer!” “Assassin!”  With tremendous fear in his mind that he is careful not to show, Dr. Rosenberg started the following dialogue with the most vociferous Palestinian in the crowd (Dr. Rosenberg is “I” and the Palestinian gentleman is “He”): 

I:          Are you angry because you would like my government to use its resources differently? (I didn’t know whether my guess was correct, but what is critical is my sincere effort to connect with his feeling and need.)

He:      Damn right I’m angry!  You think we need tear gas?  We need sewers, not your tear gas!  We need housing! We need to have our own country!

I:          So you’re furious and would appreciate some support in improving your living conditions and gaining political independence?

He:      Do you know what it’s like to live here for twenty-seven years the way I have with my family – children and all?  Have you got the faintest idea what that’s been like for us?

I:          Sounds like you’re feeling very desperate and you’re wondering whether I or anybody else can really understand what it’s like to be living under these conditions.  Am I hearing you right?

He:      You want to understand?  Tell me, do you have children?  Do they go to school?  Do they have playgrounds?  My son is sick!  He plays in open sewage!  His classroom has no books!  Have you seen a school that has no books?

I:          I hear how painful it is for you to raise your children here; you’d like me to know that what you want is what all parents want for their children – a good education, opportunity to play and grow in a healthy environment….

He:      That’s right, the basics!  Human rights- isn’t that what you Americans call it?  Why don’t more of you come here and see what kind of human rights you’re bringing here! 

I:          You’d like more Americans to be aware of the enormity of the suffering here and to look more deeply at the consequences of our political actions?   

After the above exchange, the dialogue between Dr. Rosenberg and the Palestinian continued for another 20 minutes.  The active listening worked.  Ultimately, the Palestinian gentleman understood, and was able to hear Dr. Rosenberg as he explained his purpose in making his presentation.   The two men became friends and the same Palestinian gentleman, who had called Dr. Rosenberg a murderer, invited him to his home for a Ramadan dinner.

Thank god that collaborative divorce professionals generally do not need to use active listening skills to save their lives.  However, these peace making techniques can make a huge difference in divorce negotiations to get cases settled. 

© 2012 Arnold D. Cribari     www.westchesterdivorcelawyer.com

 When I first suggest collaborative divorce to a prospective client, often their initial reaction is fear that suggesting a non-adversarial approach will make them look weak to their spouse. Although they would prefer to work things out reasonably, they are afraid that their spouse will see their reluctance to fight as an opportunity to take unfair advantage of them.

 This fear is understandable in our culture of “winners” and “losers.” Americans have been schooled in the Teddy Roosevelt philosophy of negotiation: “Speak softly, but carry a big stick.” Entering a divorce negotiation without a “big stick” – an aggressive lawyer – sounds like financial and emotional suicide.

Yet, while some people may need an aggressive approach, they are the exception. Less than five per cent of all divorce cases go to trial; the rest settle out of court. So, in 95 per cent of divorce cases, a lawyer with excellent negotiating skills is what’s needed. Hiring a divorce attorney known for aggressive tactics is like “hiring a contractor to build your house based on his or her reputation as a demolitions expert.”*

Most people who have been through an adversarial divorce will tell you that they felt that the process was largely out of their control.

Traditional attorneys have been trained to take control of your case and make opposing arguments that usually exacerbate the conflict. They prepare your case for trial. The client is relatively passive in this situation, while there is a looming threat to turn the decisions over to a judge if the parties don’t settle.  (And what are the chances of settling if the attorneys are escalating the conflict?)

 In a collaborative divorce you – the client – have much more power than in a traditional adversarial divorce. Clients play an active role in the negotiations, giving them much more of a voice in the outcome than in an adversarial divorce. Each of the divorcing parties has ultimate veto power. Not so when the decisions are in the hands of a stranger in a black robe!

 Collaborative attorneys are skilled in helping clients identify their needs and concerns, and then helping them to focus on getting those needs met. The settlement agreement can be customized for the needs of the specific divorcing family in way that is not possible in an adversarial settlement. In this way, collaborative negotiation actually empowers the client.

 Divorce is never easy or without pain. Collaborative divorce doesn’t mean conflict-free divorce. It does mean dealing with conflict in a healthy way – confronting and resolving differences without engaging in character assassination or threats. That takes real strength.

 Attorneys trained in mediation and collaboration bring that kind of strength to the negotiating table. Their strength is not Teddy Roosevelt’s “big stick.” Their strength is in supporting their clients’ discernment of their genuine needs and interests and the respectful expression of those needs and interests. Then, the attorneys work as a team with their clients to tailor a settlement that addresses the needs and interests of both spouses and their children to the maximum extent possible.

 *from The Collaborative Way to Divorce by Stuart G. Webb and Ronald D. Ousky, published by Plume, a division of Penguin Group, 2007

©  2012  Arnold D. Cribari     www.westchesterdivorcelawyer.com

Let’s say you have decided to get a divorce and that the collaborative divorce process makes the most sense to you. But you can’t have a collaborative divorce if your spouse isn’t interested.

Your spouse needs to know that he/she must engage a collaborative lawyer in order for the collaborative process to work. If he/she hires a non-collaborative lawyer, you will be headed down an adversarial road.

So, what’s the best way to get your spouse on board with collaborative?

Ideally, involve your spouse when you are exploring the options of litigation, mediation or collaborative. We all are much more likely to “buy in” to an idea if we feel that we discovered it.

Here are some of the “selling points” of collaborative:

• It usually is less expensive than a traditional adversarial divorce.
• It takes into account the needs and interests of both spouses and their children.
• It deals with conflict in a respectful and healthy way, minimizing emotional damage to all involved.
• Your spouse and you are in the driver’s seat, rather than being driven by lawyers or a judge.
• Your spouse and you each have the right to reject any proposal.
• It protects your children from being caught in the middle of conflict between the two of you.
• It makes it more feasible for the two of you to have a cordial relationship in the future.
• Collaborative lawyers are committed to settling your divorce; therefore, they don’t approach the negotiations in an adversarial manner.

If you’re not comfortable talking with your spouse about the advantages of collaborative, consider the following approaches:

• Share some written material about collaborative. If you have met with a collaborative lawyer he/she can give you some brochures. There is also material available online, including the website of the New York Association of Collaborative Professionals, www.nycollaborativeprofessionals.org.
• An excellent book that you may want to give to your spouse is The Collaborative Way to Divorce, by Stuart Webb (the founder of collaborative divorce) and Ronald Ousky.
• Enlist the help of your marriage counselor or clergyperson or someone else that your spouse trusts and respects.

If the above strategies don’t work, you may want to ask your attorney to write a letter to your spouse explaining how the collaborative process works.

For more information on Collaborative Divorce visit www.westchesterdivorcelawyer.com

This article owes much to Stu Webb and Ron Oursky, who recommend many of the ideas above in their book, The Collaborative Way to Divorce, published by Plume, a division of Penguin Books.

© Copyright Arnold D. Cribari 2012

With Easy Soft “ Real Estate Documents ” and HUD 1 software , you can dramatically reduce the amount of time required to complete HUD forms and other closing documents, saving time and increasing profitability. Our legal software has a seriously fast ROI.

With Easy Soft’s suite of legal software for real estate attorneys, as soon as you are hired for a real estate closing, you can begin entering basic data into a single screen. This essential information will automatically populate identical fields in every document you select.

Easy Soft’s “ Real Estate Documents ” legal software contains more than 200 documents, from “Letters of Intent to Purchase” to “Escrow Agreements” to “General Durable Power of Attorney.” Each one of these forms can be edited to your preferences and specifications. With Easy Soft law office software , you get the benefit of computer automation as a first step and the ability to add your own details and flourishes as the next step.

In addition to easy real estate document preparation, you can preview documents before printing them. If you notice a data input error, it’s likely that any correction can easily be made in one, central screen. Our legal software will then repopulate all selected forms with the corrected information.

When you pair Easy Soft’s “Real Estate Documents” with “ HUD Settlement Statement Software ” you have your hands on a system that is capable of automating every aspect of a real estate closing, whether it’s a house, a condominium, or an inter-spousal transfer. “Easy HUD” contains all of the HUD forms required to be furnished at a real estate closing, including the HUD 1 form.

Easy Soft’s “ HUD Software” also uses database technology to allow you to build a basic information directory. This feature is particularly useful if you have real estate clients buying and selling multiple properties or being handled by multiple people within the same office.

When you think of the real estate market, think “population.” But, when you think “populate” forms for the real estate closing, think Easy Soft legal software .

NJ “CIS” refers to the NJ “ Case Information Statement ,” a mandatory form for all family law actions involving support, alimony, or equitable distribution, even if the divorce is uncontested. The CIS must also be updated and resubmitted, as appropriate. It is a document sworn to under penalties of perjury.

CIS NJ is similar to court forms adopted in other states to try to streamline information submitted by both parties and to make it easier for the court to quickly glean key information.

Because CIS NJ is a mandatory form, it is perfect for software automation by the programmers at Easy Soft. With our legal billing software, calculate details like ages and duration of marriage, and prompt you t, you fill in the core information only once, and then let our legal software automatically populate all duplicate fields o complete missing information.

The “ Case Information Statement ” also requires budget information that reflects the standard of living established during the marriage and any differences that may be reflected in the current lifestyle. When you use Easy Soft’s CIS NJ , you can be assured that all fields are present from the form published by the court. When you complete the Easy Soft NJ CIS budget, it is complete.

Likewise, Easy Soft’s law office billing software for the “ Case Information System ” is designed to ask you to list all of the assets and liabilities of the marriage, whether subject to distribution or not. By using our legal software , you quickly see which fields are blank and how much work remains to be done.

In many ways, CIS NJ is like the New York Statement of Net Worth , a form with income information that is also used to calculate child support for NY . And, in every state, submission of mandatory information like personal profile, income, assets, and liabilities is crucial for the divorce settlement . When you use automated legal software to compile important financial information, from New Jersey to Arizona, you improve the quantity and the quality of data that you submit to the court, and that can translate into real dollars and cents for your client.

Downloads of sample NJ CIS and all other Easy Soft legal software are free.

NCIS bobblehead Abby doll, not included.

Not all data is meant to be seen by all eyes within the same law office. Billing entries. Bank account information. And client escrow transactions. Each of these sensitive areas are ones that need to be controlled through management “permissions” granted to those who have access to legal billing software .

You don’t need 007 when you have Easy Soft to help you keep billing information all in one program database, but viewable only to approved eyes.

With our legal billing software , “Easy TimeBill,” you can set the permissions for each person in the office you authorize to use this attorney billing software. You can limit a paralegal to view only her own entries. You can authorize an associate to view his own entries and that of her paralegal, in order to perform appropriate mid-level management functions. You can assign a section partner to view her own group in Litigation while staying out of Family Law.

Easy TimeBill legal software allows you to set up a unique user name and password for each person in your office who has permission to use this legal software . For each new time or expense entry, the user identifies the timekeeper by selecting from a drop-down list of authorized billers.

Perhaps more importantly, you can set permissions on who within the firm has permission to write checks and view bank account information in Easy Soft’s legal billing software . Set up a user with “time entry only” permissions, and that user cannot see any sensitive financial information relative to clients and bank accounts.

Download a free demo of our lawyer billing software or purchase the full program on our 30-day money back guarantee. It will be like having your own Q in your computer.

So, just where did this mandatory child support calculation come from, anyway?

In the mid to late 1980s, data started coming out of the US Census Bureau that illustrated the correlation between poverty, single-parent households, and child support orders. Leaving the award of child support up to judges was not resulting in adequate support for children, and more and more single parents were applying to the federal government for welfare assistance.

The legislative history goes back to 1974, when Congress passed the “Family Support Act” as an amendment to the Social Security Act, making it mandatory for states receiving Aid for Dependent Children to establish and enforce child support obligations. Ten years later, Congress enacted the Child Support Enforcement Amendments, which spread the child support formula and enforcement to all families, not just those receiving public assistance. The year after that, in 1988, Congress mandated that by 1994, all states create a formula that would be a rebuttable presumptive in its computation of child support.

The bottom line for you as a family law attorney is that you need legal software with a powerful child support calculator for every case involving an unemancipated child. And, when you’re deep into negotiations for divorce settlements , you’ll want to be in a position to calculate child support and alimony, and determine whether to shift some of the child support into alimony payments to gain an income tax deduction.

Easy Soft offers the line of legal software products you need. For divorce settlements , select our “ Divorce Settlement Software ,” which can be used in all 50-states. Add specialized software if you are calculating child support for NY , need a PA support calculator or an AZ child support calculator , or you are in NJ, using the case information statement .

You’ve had since at least 1994 to automate your child support calculations through legal software . We’ve been waiting for you to come along since 1986. Don’t you think it’s time that we got together?

Unfortunately, in today’s economy, every family law attorney needs to be familiar with the “self-support reserve,” the floor below which a child support variance would become appropriate. If you represent someone who has lost there job and is surviving on government benefits, you need to know this figure. If you represent a child support claimant, you need to not be caught unaware of an impending argument for a variance on this basis.

The federal government annually releases the “poverty guidelines,” defining the poverty rate, based upon household size. In 2011, the poverty guideline for a single person was $10,890/year. States set their “self-support reserve” as a multiplier of the federal poverty guidelines.

For example, let’s say you’re computing child support for NY . NY set its “self-support reserve” at 135% of the federal poverty guidelines. For a child support payor, alone in a household, the self-support reserve would be $10,890 x 135% or $14,702.

If you’re using the NY child support calculator in the “EzSupport-NY” legal software , you can save yourself the steps of keeping track of the federal government annual poverty announcements, checking for the affiliated state updates, and remembering to apply the self-support reserve each time you make a child support calculation. Use Easy Soft law office software to increase your productivity and ensure your accuracy.

With Easy Soft’s family law software , if a payor’s income is at or below the self-support reserve, you will receive a computer-generated alert that says “Low income adjustment applicable,” along with detailed notices such as “more than the poverty level $10,890 but less than self-support reserve $14,702.”

Whether you are calculating child support as part of a divorce settlements or part of a modification or enforcement proceeding, let Easy Soft’s legal software automate your calculations and generate needed alerts.

After all, don’t you already have enough to do in each case without having to remember every figure on your own?

Why not make it easier to compile the monthly billing?

Easy Soft’s attorney billing software is so easy to use, we’re going to show you in the first two minutes of this video just how easy. If we’ve made our case, just go to the legal billing software and click on “download free trial” or “buy program now.”

With Easy Soft’s attorney billing program , setting up each timekeeper at individual rates is as easy as filling in a few boxes. All in one screen, you will fill in fields for the timekeeper name, initials, and rate. Leave it to Easy Soft’s billing software for attorneys to ask you the key information and then remember who bills at what rate.

If your law firm grows or changes timekeepers, Easy Soft’s law firm billing program allows you to readily add new timekeepers and remove program access permissions for old ones.

Does one of your timekeepers bill at different rates for different clients? No problem. With Easy Soft’s law office billing software you input different rates in boxes marked for different “levels,” all on the one timekeeper screen. This design allows you to customize the billing rates while maintaining accuracy as to whose billing rate you are inputting. With Easy Soft’s attorney time billing software , you can send out invoices on complex matters with ease.

Each time a billing entry is made, Easy Soft’s billing software for attorneys calculates the total due and compiles it on a per client basis. It’s ready whenever you’d like to print an invoice. These different billing rates can also be displayed on the printed invoice as confirmation to you and your client that the agreed-upon rate is what is actually being charged for the services performed.

If you’re tired of multiplying by sixths of an hour, get started today with Easy Soft’s law office time and billing software . This law office billing software was designed specifically for attorneys and law office staff.

Former footballer for the NY Giants, Tiki Barber, has reached a divorce settlement with ex-wife.  This has been confirmed by a clerk at the Manhattan Supreme Court. The ex-married couple has up to sixty days to turn in the settlement to the court. Ginny Barber was pregnant with twins, and in the hospital when she found out husband, Tiki was going around town with his 23 year old mistress.  She filed for divorce in 2010.  It was alleged that, Ginny Barber wanted alimony in the vicinity of $150,000 a month.  Tiki Barber stated that he was not making that type of money. At the time, he was an NBC ‘Today’ correspondent.  According to Fox Sports, last year, Barber proposed to his one-time mistress — former NBC intern Traci Lynn Johnson, who posed in her skivvies for Maxim in 2011. The new couple planned to be married this spring but had to put the wedding on hold when the Barbers went to war over money.  Such a shame, well we are glad everything is settled now, another sports celebrity marriage bites the dust.