~Walt Disney

From Amy:  Here’s to a great week!

If you find yourself still thinking about the ex, and talking about the ex, and comparing everyone to the ex, you’re really not ready. But you should keep an open mind to people.

Depending on how you’ve dealt with the breakup, such as getting a new do, or buying new clothes, you could look completely new, so take the confident you out into the world.

For myself, I start University in two weeks. There will be massive orientation games and events designed specifically to meet new people. I guess that makes me kind of lucky, because I will be thrown into a world of 3000+ new people. Which sounds terrifying, but it will actually be very good. Yes, maybe I will miss him a lot, and maybe everywhere I look, I’ll wish he was there. It will be difficult for me to put a smile on my face and meet new people, but I have to. You don’t get a ton of chances like this to meet new people. And first impressions are everything. So on my orientation day, I will get up early, do my hair and makeup, and slap a smile on my face and try not to thing about him, because I could be meeting the next guy that very day.

Also, when meeting new people for relationships, don’t focus on comparing them to the ex. Just don’t. Look at your old relationship and decide to learn from it, such as, did you enjoy cooking at home and a movie? If yes, then look for people who want to do that too. Did you enjoy being yelled at? If no, don’t accept that in the next person. We’re moving on, not going backwards.

If you’re not starting a new job or at a new school, try spicing things up! Go to different restaurants, check out comedy clubs, sign up for a new exercise class like yoga or pilates, sign up for cooking classes. If you have a dog, go to agility or obedience classes, I used to work at a dog training centre, and you’d be surprised how many people made friends in those classes.

And also, when I say meeting new people, don’t focus on people you want a relationship with. What’s wrong with making more friends? Being able to have friends is just as important as being able to maintain relationships. Just get out there and be your best, no more sadness, you’re moving on!

*This post was made possible by the generous donation of my Mother to the “There’s No Way I Can Afford This Meal – Even As An Adult” fund.

Looking for a culinary adventure and believing that I still had the stomach that once ate 36 ounces of steak (plus dessert) in one sitting, I made a reservation at wd-50. The chef Wiley Dufresne recently changed the menu after nine years and brought in Malcolm Livingston II as pastry chef. I know this because the New York Times told me so.

Yelp is the  holy bible for restaurant and bar reviews in my mind. I consulted the general mass before our dinner reservation and felt nervous. Several people said that the food was an experience, but complained that none of the dishes were that good.

I’m happy to report that those people have no idea what they’re talking about. My favorite savory dishes were the Nigri (it’s 2-bite in size but not in practice), Pho Gras (a clever combination of foie gras and pho), veal brisket, and crab toast. The palette cleanser might have been one of the most inventive and delicious little dishes I have tried. Melon, cucumber, sweet, clean and I could have eaten 30 more. The final dessert, which is that brilliant Livingston’s take on a S’mores, made me think I hadn’t just eaten 11 courses before it. I literally switched from a fork to a spoon so I could get every speck of sauce off the plate. I did not use my finger. I consider that an accomplishment.

My least favorite was the sole. It wasn’t bad, but compared to everything else it wasn’t worth eating. I felt the same way about the lamb sweet breads. I’ve tried sweet breads before, but this time it was very clear that I was eating a throat.

All in all, the meal was spectacular. As was the Angiolino Maule ‘Pico’ 2008 I proudly picked out. The service was warm and attentive without making me feel uncomfortable or shy.

You have the option to sit at the bar and order 2 dishes for $25 (add $15 for each additional dish). I’d recommend doing that even if you don’t have the cash or the stomach space to do a full tasting menu.

Full disclosure: The next morning I woke up with a headache and a sick belly. The dishes are served at a perfect pace so you don’t feel too full to continue. That’s good while you’re sitting there for the three-hour dinner, but my belly betrayed me the next day. It was like a hangover without the binge drinking. Still worth it!

Instead of spending this holiday off and out with friends, I spent most of my time switching between Arabic homework and pacing my apartment.  There really is an incredible amount of work that comes with taking Arabic I and II squeezed into 15 classroom days. Once I feel pressure for too long I start cracking a bit. I felt the final snap when I walked directly to the store, bought M&M cookies, ate four and tossed the rest. That, my friends, is my own personal call for help. The “stuff and toss” as I like to call it. Three days in and it’s time to change my strategy.

While I’m not taking this class for a degree, I take learning very seriously. Too seriously maybe. I am reminding myself why I’m learning Arabic:

1. For fun and enjoyment? If you’re not having fun, why pay to make yourself miserable? Lighten up!

2. You’re learning about a culture far removed from your own upbringing, and taking the opportunity to understand someone you love better. Does that sound like something that requires self-medication? No.

3. It will make for some excellent writing material and perhaps help you along in your journey.

Learning Arabic is fantastic, but I have to remind myself to keep it in perspective. My first priority is get my writing out there, and everything is else should be icing on the cake that is the sabbatical/career change.

After my second day of intensive Arabic class (4.5 hours each day plus 6-8 hours of homework), I can promise that the collapsed brain I experienced at work was rarely like what I’m feeling now. Imagine yourself at 5 years old trying to learn how to read, write and speak English. Then, transport yourself to 26 years old, subtract much of the flexibility and openness of your mind, and include pride. I feel like I’m bashing knowledge into my brain with as much grace as I can muster.

If it sounds painful that’s because it is, and I’m thoroughly enjoying it. I can only embrace the feeling of panic, and push my brain to work faster, understand more. The stress is intense, but the language is so beautiful that it’s hard to suffer.

I never thought I’d live to say Arabic is a beautiful language. With the help of my professor, I can hear music in the words. Every single sound that makes up a word has a story. My favorite so far is the “ha” sound, which is always hot, sweet, full of energy. “7elweh” which sounds a bit like “helawa” means beautiful, “habibi” my beloved, “ha’maam” bath, “hami” hot. Do you see the heat and sweetness of “ha”? Beautiful, isn’t it? Every single sound in Arabic has this kind of story. With over 4 million words (the English language has at max 1 million words even if you count words that aren’t in the dictionary), Arabic is just a world of stories, morals and meanings. The chance to learn them is well worth a fried brain.

1. Sleepy? Take a panda! A siesta is perfect for when you’re tired in afternoon, but aren’t there days when you’re just too tired to make it that long? Give in to the temptress of sleep before lunch, and have a nice panda. As in, “I woke up this morning, ate some churros, took a panda, and woke up just in time for cod and chorizo at lunch.”

2. Lays chips are fancy! Nuts and pretzels to munch on while you drink? No, potato chips! En serio. Lays chips are often the first tapas served when you order a drink during the day. Try not to giggle in bewilderment. Instead, enjoy the excuse to get potato chip smudges all over your face.

3. You decide how much alcohol! If you ask for a mojito, for example, the bartender or server will pour the alcohol in front of you. When you’re satisfied with the amount of alcohol say “vale,” which sounds like ballet or baile and means “OK.” While this seems like a GREAT idea the alcohol can be watered down. How much? Who knows! Take a chance.

Signe was full of energy, warmth and helpful tidbits. She was very tall and naturally beautiful in gym clothes. I was shocked to discover that she’s considered a plus-size model; although she more accurately describes herself as a part of the natural model category. That’s a whole other essay all together! She outlined some common categories of modeling: commercial (they make big money from clients like JC Penney, Bloomingdale’s, Macy’s), editorial (think thin and Vogue), beauty, seniors (who still makes moolah well into their 60s), lifestyle, and her realm of natural.

I met with Signe at Jack’s Coffee to talk about how I might attempt a foray into modeling. I love the stylistic aspect of modeling and the act itself makes me feel child-like and energized. I am aware that 26 is the age at which some models retire, but its potential benefits outweigh any negative reactions from modeling agencies, friends or people who read this and determine I’m nuts.

As a woman with 12 very successful years of modeling behind her, Signe gave me this advice:

1. Do a test shoot with a reputable photographer, with hair and makeup, for around $500-600.**
2. Email your comp cards (the test photos) to modeling agencies. Start with the big agencies like Click, Ford, Next, Women’s, Muse etc. and then go to smaller agencies.
2a. Smaller agencies may offer you more attention since there are fewer models.
3. Practice poses at home. Go to YouTube for behind the scenes video of photo shoots. Imitate the models in front of the mirror, or have a friend take pictures of you doing poses. You can just use an iPhone. The more you practice posing the easier it is for your body to remember a movement.
4. IT’S ALL IN THE EYES. (She made sure I wrote this down.) No pose is worth a click unless your eyes convey a feeling. The mood or emotion captured by the camera will be the one you’re really feeling. “Is this OK? How do I look? Do I have a double chin?” should not show up in your eyes.
5. Make a connection with the photographer. There are sleazy photographers and there are classy photographers. If you get a bad apple be prepared to be the strong woman you are and stand up for yourself. Your relationship with the photographer is important. The camera is an extension of his/her eye and you need to have a connection.
6. Act! Feel the feeling you want to portray and play it out. Don’t be afraid to add drama to your body.

I’ve taken the first step of contacting the photographer she recommended. Next, I’m trusting my own instincts about my body. In her website’s bio Signe notes that becoming a natural model validated her body as it was meant to be, not starved, punished, stuffed or sick. True to what she’s said, she had green juice and a chocolate chip cookie. I’ll take the lead from a professionally beautiful woman and have a cookie myself!

**Turns out that it’s more like $900, including makeup and hair.

I really think it’s because things stop being new, we get into a rut, into a routine and the days and weeks and years just merge.

When we are a child all things are new and exciting and time seems to stretch endlessly.

Challenge yourself to do new things – at least once a week.

Feel alive again.

Doing new things is part of enjoying life. To experience new things, to smell new things, to taste new food you’ve never eaten before. I don’t know about you, but I want to experience MORE of the good stuff of this life.. and that means doing NEW things.. don’t take it for granted!!

Instead of taking the same food every time in the same restaurant, do a little crazy: go for the dish you’ve never eaten before, go to the restaurant you’ve never been before! By doing so you’ve experienced just a little bit more of life.

Often, I don’t do new things. I choose for the known path but this time I want to experience more.. I want to embrace life, do new things.. enjoy life and all things in it. I want to eat more different things, I want to travel more, see more, love more, embrace life more!

LOVE IT UP!

I did something new and different for me on July 1st…and I liked it. So, I decided to continue to do new things all the month! I hope to do them daily, but realistically I may not get ‘er done, BUT be assured I WILL be doing several new things a week! So come back often all the month of July for Dawn’s “New Thing A Day” Adventure!

JULY 1st:
I went to a casting call for a low budget short film! Why? Why Not? Maybe I was on pain killer when I decided to do this, but did not back out when when the meds wore off! It was nerve racking, but even if I do not get a part, I know I am an Oscar winner! They had NO idea I was in complete and horrid back pain. Why? Because I acted my heart out to hide it! Yeah for me!

My Head Shot

From Little League Opening Day with the Balzarano Clan!

JULY 2nd:
Since my back is out, I was thinking of what I could do from the computer…and last night I told Jim I was going to a Porn Site today. Come back to see if I did! Wooo Hooooo!

Okay, so I did not go to a porn site on the 2nd! I did do several new things, like trying a new flavor of Ben & Jerry’s and one even without chocolate (since B & J’s is from Vermont…there are even more crazy flavors here then where you are I am sure)! We also went to 2 new places, Jamaica and Manchester, unfortunately one was not in the Caribbean and the other was not in England, both in lovely little Vermont! But those 3 aside, I will tell more about the one that was more uncomfortable for me to do, being that is my goal with this month of doing new things.

I found and made reservations at a Resort in the town of Manchester, VT. Why is that so uncomfortable? Well, I am a person that is uncomfortable spending money on bigger purchases, much less for over priced hotels that call themselves resorts. Usually you are not in your room for too long, so why pay a lot? So, I broke down and did it since our Boston plans for the holiday weekend were ruined by my thrown out back. Well, okay, I cheated a little. I found one I like, Palmer House Resort, and talked the reservation clerk down to a reasonable amount (I am sure we did not get a top room either but that is okay), and the place is more like a Resortel. Beautiful grounds, great activity options, wonderful service, large nice room, and all in a pretty little mountain town. But laid out in the motel format where rooms face parking spots, except the parking spots at this Resortel faced the wonderful
grounds!

THE RESORTEL

From The Resortel!

JULY 3rd:
On this day I went way out of my comfort zone, my hurt back comfort zone that is. I got a massage. I was very worried he would whack my back out even more, but he was a miracle worker. Although my back still hurts, I can now stand up straight again! And I hardly ever get massages because that would mean spending money on bigger ticket items, but hit pay dirt when I found the number for this one massage therapist. He works at the expensive place where I was going to get a massage, but he also has his own place and got the same massage for $50.00 less!

JULY 4TH:
Come back soon to hear about what this crazy girl did for her new thing on the nation’s celebration day of Independence!

Okay, I did not do anything outside of my comfort zone, but I was a bit apprehensive about going to the July 4th Firework Viewing party that we were invited to attend. I know, me apprehensive about going to a party? Unheard of! But hear me out. First, I knew there would be no dancing on top of at this particular party. Then, not even a minute in the door of the 8000 square foot home on the 15 acre estate were my worries founded. The gracious host introduced us around and I talk to couple dressed in the most conservative summer outfits we had ever seen, yellow shorts on a 50 something man, really? It worked for him, what did not work for me was his partner’s over use of the words affluent and equine. Yes, calling your horse farm an equine farm sounds affluent, but you are living in Vermont Dears, bring it down a notch.

From Our 2010 4th of July!

Okay, I keed, said couple were conservative and probably have more money in their furnished living room of their 1970′s home than I will see all my life, but they were also very fun. You can take a New Yorker out of New York, but you can’t take the New Yorker out of an affluent equine farmer in Vermont! I hope to be able to experience them again, their home and their farm in the near future, that is, if they do not read my blog! I do believe they think us traveling commoners are entertainment as well!

Click on photo to get to album!

From Our 2010 4th of July!

JULY 5TH:
Both Jim and I did not use our 5th to the wisest. We talked to our landlord, well, the wife of the landlord couple, and did not tell her we were moving out next week. It was just too uncomfortable. It would just have been rude to do so as she is going through a really hard time right now and just needed support at the time, not more bad news. Jim promised to do it as soon as we got back from Manchester on the 4th, but it is now the 6th and still has not done it. I just can’t. I better remind him to do it right now. Yikes. Some thing are really just TOO uncomfortable to do!

Newfane, VT

From Our 2010 4th of July!

JULY 6TH:
Okay, although I talked about it with one Kitty McFar, I did not come up with a “New Thing To Do” today, but did come up with two new ideas. 1) Make a list of new and uncomfortable things for me to do this month. And 2) Next Month, August, will be “Write At Least a Sentence A Day Towards Finishing My Book” Day!

From Our 2010 4th of July!

JULY 7TH: This one will be over the top! I will have the car and the sky is the limit! Come back soon to see what New and Uncomfortable thing I actually did!

Okay, not over the top…but something new and a bit questionable!  I thought I was just getting a massage and I got my chakra read as well.  Apparently my 2nd chakra is broken.  Not sure if that is worse or better than having a “broken drink!”

Read the next blog for WEEK TWO of Dawn’s Do a New Thing a Month Adventure!

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