But Seriously, What a relationship should be is the same question with a different answer for each individual and couple.

Make sure you know what it should be for you.  You understand the limits that you have; what makes you comfortable in a relationship?  You might need to spend more time alone with your significant other, but they like to be alone.  This is where understanding your relationship needs can make communication better.

You need to be able to make the serious compromises, but also to have fun in any relationship.

Ask yourself why you question your relationship in the first place.  Do you struggle any time you are tied down?  Get to know yourself and your reactions.  Don’t question your relationship until you have questioned yourself.  It is often too easy to blame others.

Do women share similar intentions with men when they go out? Yes women do. Women want sex just as much as men want sex and yes women go out with the intention of getting laid too. Women just have a different mindset for qualifications in sex. It’s hardwired into us, men try and spread their seed far and wide and let shit work out. Women know (even just subconsciously) that this could be the guy who leaves offspring and thus she needs to make sure she finds the best mate available in case of possible or for the best possible offspring.

As much as we try and rationalize our behavior, plenty of women may disagree with my outlook but it isn’t like I’m making this shit up. Look at their behavior, it’s obvious, otherwise the sexy dame would just fuck every guy in sight she was attracted to (she probably could). Instead she waits to find out what he is like first, why? If sex was just recreational then talking or “the interview” as I put it wouldn’t be a necessity in hooking up. Hell a picture of your dick and a resume of 5 past lays with reviews would suffice on whether she should fuck you. However you don’t get the job unless you pass the interview.

When is She is Looking the Most?

How do you know a woman is out interviewing for the job? What kind of behavior does a woman demonstrate when she is out looking to get laid? First I want to take a look at when a woman subconsciously wants sex the most, and her anatomy tells her she wants sex the most during ovulation. Ovulation is the point of a woman’s cycle when her egg drops so it can be fertilized. Simplified it is the time a woman can get pregnant during her cycle, it lasts between 24 and 48 hrs most of the time and happens at the midpoint between periods.

Ovulation is outright when her body is saying we need to reproduce. Her chemical levels change (estrogen levels increase) and her behavior in turn changes. She starts sending out “I need sex” signals, including a change in the pitch of her voice (a woman’s voice changes to higher pitch as the estrogen increases which happens as she nears ovulation), her skin tone looks younger and healthier, and she appears most attractive. Those are just the signals she sends anatomy wise, what she sends without trying. I’m not telling you all this so you guys can go out and get women pregnant, I’m telling you so you have a foundation on the reasoning that a woman wants to get laid and when.  My Disclaimer: Please be clever cover and your lever.

How do you know she is interviewing?

Is Mama looking Good?

A study examined how close a woman was to her ovulation cycle and the amount of clothing she was wearing, the women with the least amount of clothing on were in or very near their ovulation period (even if they were in a relationship). Showing skin is a very well-known attraction technique I’m not sure I really need to go into deeply.

Don’t just look for exposed skin but look for the type of clothing, they may just be wearing tighter more curve emphasizing clothing. The clothing will be what she looks best in or feels she looks best in. This means she may be wearing colors that emphasize her eyes more. Her apparel will show her attractive features from eyes, curves, and skin (cleavage, midsection, shoulders, etc.).  If Mama is using her apparel to catch attention Mama is probably looking for a little somethin’ somethin’.  Women in happy relationships or satisfied sexually have no reason to care for appearance, why would they? There is no reason to trip on what you look like if you aren’t looking.

Open for Business

If a woman is closed off with her friend she doesn’t want guys approaching her at least her body language isn’t showing it. Her body language will say I’m open for business. She will have more open body language that means she will have hands open and wrists exposed. She will show more submissive signals such as a turned head. She’ll have an open stance that seems welcome to approach. Smile more often, and just have a friendly overall open body language. Remember she is out interviewing for the job, and it’s a publicly held interview. You guys will notice when a woman is open to an approach simply by paying attention to women that are with guys and women that aren’t. Go look at the woman with a man, she will not show availability, she might send some initial attraction cues but she won’t have that body language that says I’m open to an approach.

Flirting with Everyone

Along with her open body language and her turned head (a sign of flirting as well) she will be more flirtatious (even in a relationship according to studies). That means when she laughs at jokes she will have her head more loose, her head will be like a bobble head. It just bounces around more because they are relaxed. Flirting also means she is going to be sending more submissive signals and preens out to more people. She is going to be sending out more of those initial attraction cues to more people because she is more open to an approach.

A woman is going to close the distance and touch quicker and with much more frequency. Touch and closing the distance (especially entering the intimate zone of less than 24 inches) is a huge sign of attraction. We are like magnets that move towards our attraction. When a woman is on the prowl she will touch more men, stand closer to men, and do these things with more frequency. She will also engage in conversations more, after all she is out interviewing for the job.

Horny women are more sexual, she is hornier so why wouldn’t she be more sexual when she wants sex? This means mention of sex will happen more often in a conversation. She may talk about sex more often, what is more often? Well, how often do women mention sex early on in an interaction? Most women only mention sex when they are on the prowl for a little fun. Some women are just that way but even they are normally very sexual women and sexual women aren’t always looking but are normally open for good sexual opportunities.

Peacocking Behaviors of the Cock Hungry Female

Women who are out looking stand out, they yell, they scream, they jump, they catch attention. I’m serious women who want your attention look for tons of ways to get it. That could be skin showing or could be literally loud but women try and get attention when they are truly aggressive and want to get laid. This isn’t every women but it is a good amount. I’ve come across a ton of women, and while some women are merely far more outgoing, most that are looking to actually catch attention are women who are looking for a little cock. Sound funny? I’m damn serious. Loud women are usually women that want attention (though some are just drunk) and loud women normally want a little cock. Tell me I’m lying gals.

Similar Behavior to Ovulation when she just needs some “Satisfaction”

This behavior is not just part of ovulation, it is a part of any woman who wants to get laid, like I said women want sex as much as men. Some women want tons of sex and some a little, some men want sex and some a little. It is all women to women but know this women have the same addictions to pleasures such as an orgasm (lucky women get so many more orgasms, so many more dopamine rushes), and hardwired need called reproduction. We are wired to reproduce, it is how it is. I’m not saying you want kids, but I’m saying your want for sex shows your need to perform the action that can start reproduction.

Any woman who wants to get some cock will show the same behaviors. She will do all of these things when she is on the prowl even if it’s not ovulation related. It’s not as if a woman who wants to get laid mentally is going to act differently to someone who has the biological want to get laid. The behavior is one in the same that is why it is so easy to see the behavior. A great example is the single birthday woman, how loud and sexual is she when you know she is on the prowl? I’ve been propositioned by multiple birthday women, boy are they careless in putting themselves out there.

So if you want to find that women that is down to fuck tonight, look for women dressed well, sending approach cues, open body language, more flirtatious, and attention grabbing behaviors. These are normally the women out trying to get laid, it’s pretty straight forward. Note: If you want to get a woman out on the prowl you still need a good open.

A woman who wants an approach will show repeated interest, she will continue to send signals (women know men miss the signals all the time). You should start looking around, study body language more often and at some point it will be easy for you to notice attraction everywhere you go. At a certain point you just feel when they are attracted you don’t just think through the check list to see what her body language is saying. I understand that you may not feel comfortable making these observations at first, this is why a smile and nonthreatening body language is so important.

Eye contact

Eye contact is vital to noticing initial attraction clusters. A woman could be preening and sending submissive signals while talking to you but if she is making eye contact with your buddy you are out the loop. If you want to see who she is attracted to you need to align the timing of her body language with eye contact. Eye contact tells you who the signals are directed at.

Repeated Eye Contact

Repeated eye contact is a signal all on its own. If a woman keeps looking at you she is interested. I know I know “but what if she just thinks I’m weird.” Well I’ll put this in an easy to understand way, when you walk into a room and you look around a lot of people where do your eyes stop? On what you find most attractive or interesting (which are usually but not always the same). So what happens when you find someone attractive? You keep looking. Do you think that women are going to act differently? The answer is NO! They keep looking because they are attracted, when a woman keeps making eye contact she is usually attracted.

Longer Eye Contact

When you make eye contact with a stranger it is usually brief so that it doesn’t come across as threatening. When we make eye contact for a longer period of time it’s because “we can’t take our eyes off them,” Literally. So if you make eye contact with a woman and neither of you guys break eye contact for a substantial amount of time there is likely a strong initial interest. Note: Your culture changes what is long or short eye contact.

Attraction Clusters

The bulk of initial attraction is witnessed in attraction clusters. A cluster is a combination of signals, if someone is making longer or stronger eye contact but they have an angry look on their face they aren’t attracted, the cluster doesn’t add up to attraction. They are sending you a very threatening look. So it is important to pay attention to the rest of her body language and the signals she is sending to see whether it is an initial attraction/approach cue.

Attraction clusters are a combination of submissive signals, preening, eye contact, and courtship body language. When combined with the right timing are often times a signal a woman is initially attracted and may be open to an approach. How often you receive approach cues from her tells you how strong the attraction really is.

Here are 5 common examples of Initial Attraction Clusters that are often times an invite to approach:

1. A Woman may make eye contact, smile, and do the look down. This is an approach cue that Full Time Gangsta refers to. What she did is she made eye contact, telling you who the signal was for. She smiled showing you she is nonthreatening and we tend to smile at those we are attracted to. She looked down this is a sign of submission and shy girls are known for doing this.
2. When a woman makes eye contact, adjusts her hair(small less than a second effort or longer), and looks down. Again you have a very similar cluster but this time instead of a smile you may have received a preen in its place. Her hair adjustment is an attempt to adjust her appearance for you.
3. She makes eye contact, while her foot is pointing at you, she smiles, and turns her head. We point our foot in the direction of the thing we are most interested in a woman may be pointing her foot at a friend, the bathroom, an exit, or even you. It points at what she is interested in now. A turned head is a common flirting signal and a submissive signal.  This is a common cluster that goes unnoticed especially between friends.
4. The woman may make eye contact, look down, and straighten her shirt. Again she is preening by adjusting her appearance for you, sending you a submissive signal, and telling you it’s all for you with her eye contact.
5. If she makes eye contact, smiles, smooths her dress, and flicks her hair she is sending a strong attraction cluster. She is bringing attention to her appearance while making sure it looks good for you. Her smile shows she is nonthreatening and something we tend to do when we are attracted. The hair flick does two things, it helps grab your attention with movement and it’s a preen, it helps her adjust her appearance.

Initial Attraction

Just because a woman is initially attracted doesn’t always mean she is open to an approach but it certainly makes it easier. Your approach also won’t be denied, it will merely be deflected. Sometimes it is because she is in a relationship or just doesn’t know how to interact in the courtship process(you need to make it easy for her). An initial attraction doesn’t mean there is going to be strong attraction down the road either. You can gain initial attraction but still screw it all up with the first words you say so make sure you have a good open to catch her attention.

The more often you receive those attraction clusters the more you can take it for what it is, an approach cue, if a woman sends you 2 initial attraction clusters go talk to her, she wants you to. If she has continued to send them to you go after her and you will have an easy close with some good escalation and attraction building skills. You guys may not realize this but women are in charge of the courtship process if you want to be good with women you merely need to learn to respond to the signals she is sending while building attraction and escalating naturally at a comfortable pace.

After I get use to this stuff going to start a couple of little fun shows. I’ll keep you posted.

However before animals present their rear they show many other submissive signals such as throat exposure, putting their head down, or some dogs even just lay down under them.

Here are some examples of submissive body language:

Throat/Neck Exposure – Many women turn their head slightly to the side. This exposes her throat and is a submissive signal women love to show without thinking. That head turn and exposed neck is a sexy sign that men miss.

Open Palms/Exposed Wrist – Open palms means there is no protection to your torso, you are exposing your vulnerability. Your wrists are a very sensitive area -slit your wrist for suicide- exposing them is quite submissive.

Head Down/Look Down – When your head is down or you look down you are sending a submissive signal. Many women will make eye contact with a man then look down. This is a form of submission and contrary to popular belief is a signal of attraction. I use to think quite the opposite.

Shoulders – Sometimes a woman will push up her shoulder or shyly tuck her head into her shoulders like a turtle. Another shoulder related movement is when a woman pushes her shoulder up and forward turning her head to the side.

Fidgeting – When a woman fidgets with her keys or jewelry (preening really) she is showing some submissive body language. It is an anxious or nervous signal, which shows a sign of submission. Not always attraction related but certainly worth mentioning.

Stance – Stance should be comfortable but a submissive stance would be a timid or narrow stance. Sometimes a woman will cross one leg over the other standing and will say I’m not going anywhere, I have no need to run.

Sitting – Sitting sometimes a woman will have her legs crossed(skirt they do regardless). Sitting is really situational and has to be context related. However feet normally close distance during attraction rather than run, which would be submissive.

When it comes to submissive signals you want to read them with the right combination of preens and escalation. You want them to be submissive but comfortable there is a difference between anxious submissive body language and attracted submissive body language. You should pay attention to distance, attraction, comfort, and preens in conjunction with submissive signals.

So what is a preens? It is as an adjustment in appearance. This happens for multiple reasons, one reason is she wants to make sure she looks best for you. Another reason being she wants to bring attention to her looks and show off her femininity. Next she wants to advertise her sexual assets. I want to note that these aren’t always obvious to her even, most of the time they are subconscious they just happen to do them as a natural part of courtship.

Now that we know that a preen is as simple as an adjustment of appearance we’ll talk about a woman’s different ways of a adjusting her appearance.  These signals are easy to miss, but happen quite frequently. Look for repetition for a more confident read of her Body Language.

6 Examples of Preening Appearance Adjustments:

She straightens her clothing/shirt/pants/jacket – This is obvious she is making sure she looks good for you. It doesn’t seem obvious until you realize our clothes and apparel is an extension of ourselves and any adjustment on our clothing is a preen.

Jewelry Adjustment – Adjusting her earring , bracelet, or necklace are also adjustments in a appearance and often times a woman will adjust any of them. Some women even grab onto and hold onto their jewelry it fiddling with it.

Smoothing of clothing – A lot of times a woman will smooth her clothing not just adjusting her appearance, but also accentuating her curves and femininity. This is a sign that is overlooked so often it is disappointing.

The Head whip/Hair flick – A lot of people miss the fact that a woman is preening when she whips her head around flicking her hair. It is not just an adjustment in appearance it is also a movement to catch attention.

Hair Preening – I want you to realize when it comes to hair preening that it is any adjustment in their hair. A lot of women grab onto and adjust their hair, they sometimes stroke their hair but it doesn’t happen often. Most of the time it is just a movement of hair, and with more and more attraction it happens with more and more frequency.

Shoe Adjustment – Some women will constantly dangling their shoes or adjust them with their hands or feet. When a woman dangles her shoe off her foot it is a very good sign, it shows comfort and the first step to getting her clothes off her shoes first.

Once you know how to be the responsive male, notice a woman’s overtures, and recognize a woman’s preens you understand when a woman wants you to interact and understand that it is up to you to recognize and magnify the attraction as well as keep her interest. We as men seem to have this thought that preening is one thing when it is so much more than just a stroke of the hair. It is important to take a look at why a woman does certain things, if she is adjusting her appearance in any form or measure she is preening.

Warning: Just because she is preening doesn’t mean she is attracted. Body Language is about clusters and it is very important that you add up all the signs when you are interpreting her Body Language. Preening is also a sign of insecurity which means discomfort, some women are known for lying or bluffing at a poker table. In some cases preening is just a pacifying action because of their discomfort.

A woman does a lot of little things in courtship. It is really impressive with a basic understanding of body language how much attraction is out there and even crazier how many little signs there are that men just absolutely 100% miss. A woman shows initial attraction all the time, I’ve received attraction signals from tons of women in relationships. It’s no big deal Attraction is everywhere just because someone is attracted doesn’t mean they are going to act on it.

One major thing men never notice is an overture. Men seem to have this belief that we are the ones in charge of leading the interaction. That is absolutely false, women control the interaction. They allow the interaction. They set us up to have an interaction. Some women are very direct and introduce themselves, while others send far more subtle overtures. Those are the things we are going to go over.

What is an Overture? An overture is when a woman gives you the opportunity to interact and all you have to do is respond to it in a way that would be attractive and interesting. It is when she does something slight hoping to give you an “in” to talk to her. Guess what? Women send them all the time, in tons of settings, from the grocery store to the book store to the bar to the club. Women send them everywhere, it is a natural part of attraction. When you don’t respond to her at least in her eyes quite obvious overture you are denying her.

Women do lots of little things that we never notice, the important thing is to understand what we as humans do. We offer opportunity in whatever way we can when we are attracted to someone. As men we walk by more often, we stand closer, we get in the line of sight, we look for basically any possible way to interact with this person we are attracted to.

Well the same thing is true of women. When I go to out I notice every little overture a woman sends, and women send them by the boat load. They are so simple and yet we as men are so caught up in our own trip and insecurities that we miss them. We focus on ourselves and what we should say and bla bla bla, we don’t realize all you need to do is start the conversation they have already offered to have.

So what does this offer look like? One great example is that small even two to three second pause while she walks by. It is when she literally stops in front of you and sends some small signal that we as guys never notice. That head whip, head turn, the look down, hair stroke, etc.  are all a part of the cluster she is sending with her overture.

Another example of an overture is when a woman slowly walks by and sends those little signals. She is giving you opportunity to interact by walking at a pace that makes it easy for you to open her. You need to start to notice all these little attraction ques. They are stopping in front or slowly walking by just to give you opportunity to talk, and all you have to do is be the responsive confident man.

Repeated exposure is something a woman does to send an overture, and what I mean by that is she walks by multiple times. She finds ways to get in your eye sight and make eye contact. Again while this repeated exposure may seem incidental (and it can be) it is important to realize that often times a person only walks in front of you several times because they are attracted.

When a woman finds a way to stand close with no apparent reason and sends those little signals she is sending an overture. It may not seem so obvious to you guys but it is abundantly clear to women that they are showing attraction and giving you opportunity to interact. I can’t stress enough how important it is to respond to her overture and how easy courtship is when you are a responsive male. Obviously if you are in a high traffic area it could merely be incidental.

As men we need to step outside of ourselves, our emotions, and our thoughts to just observe the behavior she is exhibiting and it becomes quite obvious she is giving us an opportunity to interact. You need only pay attention to the fact that she is sending them and open her as a response. You can use an observational opener, introduce yourself, or just say something like “Hi, what’s up?” Remember she opened you in reality, you need only keep her interest and build attraction further.

So how do you tell a woman’s response curve? You listen to what her body language is showing you. She is telling you exactly how she feels about you. Every woman is telling you something. She is saying I’m comfortable, I’m not comfortable. I’m attracted, I’m not attracted. I’m attracted but not comfortable enough. I’m not attracted but comfortable. I’m attracted and I’m comfortable enough. It is up to you to know which message she is sending and escalate the courtship process comfortably.

The secret to escalation with women isn’t about forcing yourself on them, it’s about responding to her at her pace. Women are comfortable moving much faster than you realize. How fast a woman offers touch a lot quicker than we (men) would like to believe. David Givens’ fourth phase before sex is touch and frankly you can’t escalate the courtship process without both accepting and reciprocating the touch she is offering.

In courtship most men think that we make the first move. We are the ones going over to them, from our perspective that is making the first move but really we are responding to them. Women send approach ques and it is our job to respond to them. It is our job to respond to them throughout the courtship process and move at a speed that they will accept and allow us to pursue that final phase, sex.

As attraction builds our bodies become like magnets drawn toward the thing we are most attracted to, we close the distance in many subtle ways. One way we show our attraction is through torso angle and torso lean. Our body faces what we are most attracted to, if her torso is facing you she is likely very attracted. Our torso also tells us whether they are retreating or attracted, if they are leaning in basically closing the distance they are attracted to you. Torso lean will also tell you how engaged in the conversation she is.

As this begins to happen you will subconsciously or should consciously start to mirror her to build rapport. It also puts you guys into sync which was Timothy Perper’s final phase before sex. It is always good to mirror someone’s body language just to build rapport but when attraction is built it helps build a connection.

By this point she will likely be physically reaching out to you or showing you intent actions. When they do this they will likely be using illustrators, intent actions (hands reaching in your direction), or just outright touching you. You need to react by accepting her touch confidently, that means meeting her half way. If she reaches out you can reach out to touch her forearm, a nonthreatening acceptance of her escalation. If she is offering her hand you can reach out and grab her hand, really you are just accepting her touch.

Escalation will change at floor level as well, your guys’ feet will begin to come closer and in some cases even touch. If you guys are sitting across from each other you may start “playing footsie” flirting with your feet touching. If you are standing your feet will start to scoot closer. The feet are used on a very subconscious level you don’t think about walking or running, you just do it. If you are moving your feet closer to someone you are very comfortable with them. When their feet move closer it is sometimes ok to move your feet forward and other times it isn’t. It is usually best to add touch once your feet meet in the intimate zone (18 inches to touch); a foot moving closer is often times an intent action.

I went over specifics in responding to a woman at her response rate but they are just really examples of what happens throughout the courtship process. Even if she isn’t offering touch it doesn’t mean she isn’t willing to accept your escalation. It does however mean she isn’t as comfortable “making the first move.” You should pay attention to whether she is comfortable with your escalation, with you closing the distance, touching, or moving touch to more erotic areas on her body. If you are the responsive man and respond at her pace the courtship process will be easy and comfortable for the both of you. You will receive very little resistance and when you do you merely need to add more comfort and/or sexual tension for an easy path to completing the courtship process to sex.

This isan OLD video so the quality is lacking but content is golden.

Social Value and “Mate Copying”

I briefly went over “mate copying” it is very important to be attractive to multiple women. Our value as a possible mate more often than not is derived from the value we have in regards to what others have given them. We are told very often what we are attracted to through “Mate Copying” or wanting mates that everyone wants(males and females).

Social value has shown to be attractive and it is directly related to “Mate Copying.” Your social value is very important in determining your attraction. If you are this guy that goes everywhere and knows people, women want to know who you are. People with higher social value tend to have better social skills, more resources, and the ability to stimulate people in a positive emotional manner. Whether we subconsciously realize social value’s relationship to “mate copying” or not is arguable but a man who has a lot of social value knows how to make people feel good, and tends to have something that makes him of higher value as a sexual mate that isn’t always explainable but always quite obvious.

Stress in the “Alpha” Male

The most sexually active men (men considered most attractive) are men who lack stress. Stress and anxiety are very unattractive to women. They are unattractive to everyone. Behavior is contagious, those who are easy going and fun give us permission to have fun and go without stress as well. This promotes a positive emotion, we have already gone over the relationship between positive emotions and attraction.

A study has showed that the “Alpha” males in bonobo monkeys contained the least amount of stress chemicals (glucocorticoids). “Alpha” males also had a higher amount of dopamine injected in them. Dopamine is a chemical that is directly related to how good we are feeling or how much fun we are having. A study in the UK paralleled this thought but they used medical bills and stress related medical issues to job status. The higher your position the less likely you were to have medical issues.

Economic Value

Women would love to say that they aren’t attracted to a man for his money but it wouldn’t be true. Money is attractive. It is a very good parental trait to be able to support a family from a resource stand point. I’m not at all saying money adds happiness it doesn’t, I’m saying money is attractive to women. A study was done where women being asked to rate a man’s attractiveness were rated before he had a six figure income and after. The owner of his own six figure income company rated much higher based off of his income then he was when it showed his real income.

Of course it also works the opposite. A woman who sees an attractive man and finds out he has a low value job also has his value lowered. A man who was previously rated 9 out of 10 on average was introduced with a report of a low income and it lowered his value tremendously. He went from a 9 to as low as a 4 from certain women. Your value as a future possible caregiver and provider directly relate to how attractive you are.

Owning your own house is also a sign of economic value and stability, something every parent needs. A higher income can support a family and make you a possible provider who already has shelter to provide for a woman and her offspring. Yes owning your own home or having your own place (the nicer the better) can and will add value to you from an attractiveness stand point.

Your Car, Fashion, and Stuff

Believe it or not because your economic value helps represent your attraction your car can seriously boost how attractive you appear. Women were shown a man’s car to ask which car she found most attractive. Women preferred men to drive a bigger more luxurious and masculine car. They preferred they drive more expensive cars and were more attracted to men who owned them. A woman may not marry a man based off of his car but it certainly can add attraction to him by upping his own economic value. Yes your car can be attractive to her.

Your large TV, your nice phone, your clothes are all clues to your economic value, they all say oh wow he would make a good provider because look how much he already has, he can afford to have more and give more to my off spring, it’s pretty simple. It is attractive to have financial value written all over you because this makes you a good possible parent.

Conditioning- Basic Education on NLP

Each woman has a type, before I get into type I want to talk about basic thoughts on NLP. We are humans who have been programmed over time. We are programmed to react negatively to some things and positively to others. The way we are programmed is through conditioning. We think of how painful the dentist was once and in doing so are conditioned to “hate the dentist.” When we think how great a movie is we associate a positive emotion, laughter or arousal (suspense movies) are common reactions to movies that are positive. So you are conditioned to like that movie because of that feeling given by it. How we feel about things is through conditioning sometimes from one major pain, other times something as simple as a statement may change your behavior. However something conditions us to feel something.

So what’s Her Type?

Does each woman have a type? The answer is absolutely. Since we are conditioned to feel certain ways based off certain experiences, it is easy to tell what a woman’s type is. It is conditioned responses to memories of certain traits in her past. An example is she likes or hates guys who remind her of her father based on the emotion she had with him, whether that is positive or negative. She unfortunately may never be attracted to a certain type of guy based off of someone in her past.

She may appreciate brunettes because they remind her of her first high school crush. They may not like a certain type of trait on guys because of someone they resemble that treated them negatively in the past. They have a trait that reminds you of feeling bad on a subconscious level. Her type is a makeup of all the conditioning of her past relationships sexual and non-sexual alike.

Attraction: What are Sexy Dames Attracted to? Part 1- An Introduction

Attraction: What are Sexy Dames Attracted to? Part 2- Physical Attraction

Attraction: What are Sexy Dames Attracted to? Part 3- Motion and Personality

Attraction: What are Sexy Dames Attracted to? Part 4- Stress, Economic Value, Social Value, and Type

Attraction: What are Sexy Dames Attracted to? Part 5- Drawing a Conclusion

What it really means: 

• I want to keep it casual.  Means they want to keep things casual and never intend on a relationship. Repeat: No relationship intention.
• I want to take it slow.  Intention on a relationship is 50/50 but they want to take time.  Take it slow may or may not have relationship intention. They want to get to know you before deciding if you are the person they want to be in a relationship with.
• I don’t date.  Almost the same thing as casual, but more intention on booty-calls.  Pretty much a hook-up and no relationship intention.
• I like you, but I don’t want a relationship.  Someone who doesn’t really want to be in a relationship but is afraid the “keep it casual statement” might not keep you around. Again: No relationship intention.
• I just want to be friends.  You are official in the friend zone.  Enjoy the view, because this is your permanent position.

Don’t:

• Project your feelings on the other person. Expect they might have a different view, even if you feel smitten.
• Ask about other person “So how many girls/guys did you hang out with this weekend?”
• Lose your cool. If you don’t have the ability to be casual and they do, walk away.

Some people need consistency and monogamy, some don’t.  It is probably safe to stay with your herd.  I truly believe that if someone wants to be with you, they will turn you into their boyfriend/girlfriend.

I’m in love with a guy who is dating someone. They fight all the time, and I don’t think they are right for each other. When she’s not around, he flirts with me. How do I show him how good we could be together?

–Dancing Alone in the Moonlight

Dear Dancing,

Falling in love is intensely rewarding – the excitement, the flirtation – it’s amazing. These feelings, however, can blind us to some really important red flags. You’re in dangerous waters.

Leon Festinger’s Cognitive Dissonance theory states that humans get uncomfortable when their behavior and their personal beliefs don’t match.

For example, you have an idea of how a relationship with this guy should look – and I’m guessing it doesn’t involve his current girlfriend. Therefore, you want him to realize he should leave her for you.

But when we get uncomfortable with a situation, like you are now, we tend to do what’s called selective exposure - we only think about things that will solve our current problem and ignore other, more unpleasant factors.

What about the fact that he hasn’t had the courage to break up with this girl, even though they apparently aren’t happy?

Or that he’s flirting with you while supposedly committed to her?

Or even that by flirting with him, you are branding yourself as “the other woman,” a tag that can haunt you in unbelievable ways?

My best advice is to talk with him honestly about your feelings, but refuse to be the other woman. Let him man up and break off an unhealthy relationship before you make any plans. If he does, you’ll know he might be worth your time. Then you can slowly start an initial relationship with him.

Send your own question about relationships or dating to askthewoo@gmail.com, or comment below.

Ok, so I’m going out for the first time with this girl, “Erika.” We’ve been friends for like two or three months and we really seem to connect, but I’m not sure if we feel the same way about each other. I would like to move our relationship past “just friends,” and I think she might too, but I don’t know how to tell her that without things getting super awkward. What should I do?

- Sweating on South Campus

Dear Sweating,

Touch her. Okay, wait. More instructions first.It sounds like you two have a good relationship right now, and I’m sure you’re worrying about screwing that up by making a (potentially) unwelcome advance. One of my favorite communication theories, Expectancy Violations Theory by Judee Burgoon, addresses this situation.

It says that we all have expectancies about how social relationships should normally play out. But if we break those expectancies on purpose, we can get people to really notice us and reevaluate the relationship, for better or worse.

I’m guessing that you and Erika have been mainly talking up til now – that’s been the relationship. On Friday, look for an opportunity to casually touch her – this will surprise her, but according to the theory’s data, if she already has a good perception of you (and being friends, it sounds like she does) she will reevaluate the relationship in a positive direction.

For example, if she’s wearing a bracelet, touch her wrist in the course of conversation to admire it. It’s not blatant, but it will break her normal expectancies and cause her to a.) think you’re interested in more than friendship and b.) think about the fact that she (hopefully) feels the same way.

Send your own question about relationships or dating to askthewoo@gmail.com, or comment below.

:)

There’s a woman I know who does not like me.  This is not supposed or hypothetical.  There really is a woman who literally cannnot stand the sight of me.  To my knowledge, I have never done anything to her or had any cross words with her.  The funny thing about this is that for the first time in my entire life, I’m starting to like myself.

A few months ago on Oprah’s Master Class, Oprah said that we should live our purpose.  It was profoundly changing to me and the six months since then have been an amazing journey.  Do we all have obligations to keep fulfilling? You betcha.  Is our purpose clear immediately?  Nope.  Living well takes work.  I used to think living well was about a particular paycheck.  I used to think I would be happy with the next promotional title.  In reality, none of those things made me feel the way I thought they would.  That empty, sad feeling just wouldn’t go away.

Thanks to my life coach, G., there have been some major “aha” moments happening around here lately and the results are phenomenal.

Does she want me to be her boyfriend?

1) Does she poke enjoyment at you in a adorable way? If she may make pleasurable of little “cute” details that you do or a dimple this can be fairly superb. As extended as it isn’t anything unflattering like building pleasurable of something that you are delicate about. Playful teasing is a way for her to get private with you while not going out on a limb.

2) When you are in a group you are all that issues. If she focuses her awareness on you in significant groups it is a terrific indication of attraction. Essentially she could be telling you that you are the most vital man or woman to her.

Reading a female is a single of the greatest mysteries of the earth and though there are some pretty normal indications it does not necessarily mean that it will be the very same for all of them. Previously you make your move you will want to examine the relationship alot more closely to make your mind up how she thinks of you. Right after all, you don’t want to be that man that has twenty buddies that are women due to the fact they do not suppose of you that way do you?

Assuming you definitely want to know, you have to take a look at this Does She Like Me Quiz website. This effortless FREE quiz will seriously give you some knowledge on the matter at hand.

hi there, i wrote on this board i think once before about meeting someone off line.
anyway, i did end up meeting her and to me it was great. at first i had doubts that
she wouldent like me but later in the day she told me she did. she ended up hitting
on me and making the first move.

i didnt want to do anything i would regret so we ended up just holding each other all night. it was amazing for me, i felt as if i was on top of the world, no one can hurt or touch me cause i felt so safe and pure.

anyhow, when it was time to go i begun to feel very sad and also angry. the day after we
again strated to chat online and i got the feeling that she didnt like me. when i asked
her if she likes me she said as a firend. we dont have many things in common and
that she needs someone that would do the things she would do. which is fine i
understand i guess, but then why did she say she liked me when i was with her? did
she just want to have fun? or just flat out mess with my head? plz help me on this.

A

Well, if she’s the type to play games just to mess with you, then you’re better
off rid of her now.

But, likely, she’d worked herself up into a state, imagining what you were
like, and when she met you, she kept seeing what she wanted. The next day
or so, the buzz wore off, reality hit and she realized that while you are a fine
and good person, you’re not Ms. Right.

For yourself, be glad you held back and weren’t Ms. Right Now.

So, you have an opportunity to continue a friendship that started on line,
maybe end up dating one of her friends -remember what they say in
business also applies to love : network network network

Give her the benefit of the doubt, so the heat didn’t last the initial meeting,
sounds like she’s still willing to be friends. Maybe you can matchmake each
other from your other friends.

Nina

So i didn’t see her for a long time (well, for 3 or 4 days, LOL) and then there was this party on friday night where i knew she was going to be. I decided to show up but i didn’t see her anywhere, when it was almost midnight she arrived with 2 friends, i’m
guessing a straight couple ‘cause they let her ALONE, so i made my move and
ended up right next to her.

We were together untill 4 in the morning and i was so excited that i came out, i said to her: “ok, i have to say this, i really like you and i don’t know how you’re going to react but i need to know if i have any chance” after those words i expected the worst, my heart almost stopped and my head was spinning round and round, she just said: “well, i kinda knew how you feel about me, i’m really flattered but i don’t know what
to do…….”.

The minutes that followed those words were really relaxing, she told me she’s been single for almost a year and that her last relation kept her depressed for a long time (and guess what, it’s a she-ex, she’s gay too!!!!), she told me she’s scared of a new relation with anybody but that she liked me (well, likes me still, LOL). At that time i was so out that i asked her if she wanted to go to a place more quiet to discuss the item so she ask me to drive her home.

We were outside her house talking in the car when she said goodbye, i hurried to open the door and when she was stepping out i trapped her between the car and me, i told her she’s beautiful and that i would never hurt her but i was going to wait untill she’s ready, she smiled in the most tender way i’ve ever seen and i kissed her (i could’t help myself!!!!), i have to tell you it was the best kiss i’ve ever given, i took her face with both hands

and she took me by my shoulders (she’s shorter than me) i felt i was in
heaven. I asked her if i could call her later but she said no so for the entire
weekend i was desperate but i didn’t call. On monday we saw each other and
talked, she told me that she really likes me and wants to be with me, but that
she needs to know me better. We’re getting to know each other right now,
but i feel this huge need to hold her and kiss her……….how much do i have to
wait??????? i think i’ve waited too much and i just want to be with her, what
do i do???????
y question:
A
Okay, so, you got to The Girl and she’s a dyke. And even better, she
likes you too. But, you really really really need to listen to what’s she
saying – which is: she got burned in a past relationship that she’s not
quite over yet (either the ex or the way their relationship broke up).

So, if you want anything to start and last with this girl, you need to
RELAX and put the brakes on – just a bit. And the girl will be yours.
(at least she appears to be willing)

You’ve made the contact, you’ve made the connection, she’s
interested too, and now you need to breathe and let her adjust to the
idea of starting a new relationship.

You need to move slowly, and build up a knowledge base and comfort
level with each other. I know you think she’s hot, she’s a dream, and your heart’s desire is to jump right into sex, but she’s not ready yet.

Maybe she has some intimacy issues, maybe she still has a thing for
her ex, maybe her last relationship started really fast and burned out,
and she’s looking for something that will last and wants to develop a
relationship foundation.

So, what you need to do, now that you’ve got her attention, is let her
do a little chasing too. Give her your phone number, go out on some
dates, talk, and most of all, listen to her. Tell her about yourself, that
you’re a fun person with a lot of interests, be funny, charming,

but you don’t need to be there every day

don’t always be the one to initiate the contact, dates, get togethers.

Don’t hover and be omnipresent in her life,

There’s a fine line between being a suitor and a stalker. Be careful to
stay in the first category.

Show her you’re interested in her as a person, that you are interested
in her past life, her future plans, her family & friends, that it’s not just
a physical thing – I assure you – it’s a turn on it is to be treated as a
whole person, and not just a body.

Most importantly, be a whole person yourself, make sure you don’t
neglect your studies, your friends and family and hobbies.

It’s hard to do, and us lesbians tend to want to just merge and melt
into each other – a sort of fusion – at the beginning of a relationship,
but, you’ll need to resist this tendency.

Okay, enough rambling – be patient, be gentle and the girl will be
yours.

Nina

Hi, I’m twenty four yr old and am in love with my college professor. I am
heterosexual and have never been in love with a woman before although I do
feel attraction for certain women. My college professor is married with two
grown children my age.

I know it is not right to dream about someone who is married, and its not like I want her to cheat on her husband. Let me tell you how she acts towards me.

When I was a junior last year, I would always catch her staring at me, when I did she would quickly look away, when I talk to her even a hi or how are you, she gets very flustered and of course so do I.

She always looks out for me, and sees how I’m doing even though she is not my teacher this year. She writes me notes, but only when I write them to her. During summer semester, she watched as me and my best friend had a fight and insisted I stayed with her at school until I felt better, she knew something was wrong, and had me laughing in no time.

She has always tried to be the one grading me, or by my side when I do work so she can calm me down and get me focused. This year I have a new teacher, and I notice her (my old teacher) still watching me every now and then, when I walk by her.

I’ve tossed out a few comments before . Example: I was in her office but had to go
to another class, and said “ahh, I don’t want to go to class I would rather stay here” and she would say”I know, but you should go.”

Another classmate of mine who isn’t friends with me has said that she thinks our teacher is a lesbian even though she’s married and forty-four years old. My questions:
1.) Is there a possibility she’s a lesbian?
2.) are there clues in a person’s behavior?
3.) I fantasize about her all the time, can I make some kind of pass?
4.) Are there lesbians that just get married? and have kids? is this common?
5.) Should I try to fall out of love and how do you do that after a year and
a half?

My heart still does flip flops when she enters a room.

6) One more: I notice I purposely avoid talking to her, because its very
hard to contain my love and feelings, could it be possible that she does the
same? (my friend noticed that she gets flustered as well)

7) Even if nothing happens with her, is there a way to tell if she ever had
any feelings for me, by a question I can ask her or behavior?

A

1.) Is there a possibility she’s a lesbian?
Yes, there is always the possibility.

2.) are there clues in a person’s behavior?
Sometimes, if you know what to look for and it’s usually in the eyes and the walk.It’s hard to describe, and to be truthful, my gaydar isn’t always 100%.
As a generality, lesbians don’t tend to be deferential to men, tend to do more
to suit themselves (the comfortable shoes with the room for five toes in EACH
shoe), and not be as concerned about conforming to social “norms”.

There is also a closeted kind of language – the absence of using “he” or “she”
to describe people -a vagueness about who their friends or hang outs are.
Closeted language tends to be more noticed by omission. “I was seeing this
one person, and but we broke up.” or “My last relationship ended badly.” are
a good examples of closet-talk -no genderizing the person.

Straights say “The guy/girl I was seeing dumped me.” Straight people tend not to notice the lack of pronouns, and they just fill in the blank assuming your straight too.

A semi good way to find out a person is closted is to casually refer to gay news item -Don’t Ask Don’t Tell is a good one.

That way, if the person you’re talking to is gay, they canpick up the thread and you sort of circle around each other’s opinions. A straight person probably wouldn’t know or care about the item, a gay person likely would know, or show interest in it.
3.) I fantasize about her all the time, can I make some kind of pass?

Well, you can technically you can make a pass at her, but the question is
should you make a pass.

And, as difficult as it is to hear, I wouldn’t. The woman is married, has kids
and a career -all of which would be put in a great deal of jeopardy by acting
on any attraction she may feel for you. And, while if she’s a lesbian, she may
have an “arragement” with her hubby (maybe he’s gay??) about extra marital
affairs, she’s not likely to risk her career.

4.) Are there lesbians that just get married? and have kids? is this common?

A lot of women get married, have kids and then come out as lesbians; not knowing they were lesbians to start. But some lesbians do marry a man (usually a gay man) for financially mutual arrangements, maybe kids. Lots of reasons – passports, social cover, etc. There’s no way to know how common because no one has ever really counted gays and lesbians, and the ones who would marry for cover wouldn’t likely answer the survey honestly.

Even if every second woman in the country was a “married to a man” dyke, it
doesn’t mean that your proffesser is.

5.) Should I try to fall out of love and how do you do that after a year and a
half? My heart still does flip flops when she enters a room.

Fall in love with someone more attainable. Throw yourself into your studies.
You didn’t say where you were going to school, but they likely have a gay and
lesbian student association. Join in -get active in your community and meet
other gals.

6) One more: I notice I purposely avoid talking to her, because its very hard to contain my love and feelings, could it be possible that she does the same? (my friend noticed that she gets flustered as well)

She may be getting flustered because she’s aware of your crush and doesn’t
know how to deal with it. If you can think of other reasons why a person may act a certain way, then it can be any one of them.

7) Even if nothing happens with her, is there a way to tell if she ever had any
feelings for me, by a question I can ask her or behavior?

I think that from your pre-question description that she does have feelings,
she clearly likes you as a person and that’s a lot more than some people
return emotionally. However, that is gonna be cold comfort if what you are
wanting is for her to have romantic feelings.

I have also asked a pal of mine who was in love with her student advisor in university for some more advise.  I came out because of my feelings for a teacher, who is straight. I never told her what I felt, and I never regretted it. I finished school, moved on and had other relationships. What I needed from that experience was the realization that I was and am a lesbian.

Bonus Advise:

Darling;

Your letter went straight -so to speak – to my heart.  Please know that you are not alone in this experience, nor is it a “bad” thing, even if you never so much as brush lips with the teacher of your dreams…

Desire, or infatuation is NEVER bad. Feelings are feelings, and not always so easy to talk yourself out of, nor are they in and of themselves wrong.

Actually, they can be useful! Feelings can be great indicators of deeper stuff that is going on with you. This does not mean that you are a 100% bona fide lesbian. You may not exactly be quite as straight as you thought, either.

But this woman doesn’t flutter your heart for no reason at all. If you want to delve deeper (after reminding yourself AGAIN that it’s totally ok to like, and even want her). Think about what it is she might have, or might represent. Guidance? Mentoring? Nurturing? Approval? And like that.

But you don’t have to get all introspective to survive this. You can deny your
feelings and delve into your studies (which rarely works), or take up soccer.
Or you can take a philosophical attitude – infatuation is like a cold – you can
make it worse, but you can’t make it better. Unless you feed into this thing
(by tormenting yourself with her presence, writing pages of lovelorn poetry
and letters asking her to run away to Mexico) it WILL run its course.

One thing you CAN do – for you and her -is be very aware and responsible for
your actions. Remember how I said that feelings are ok? Acting in a manner
that is hurtful or destructive (even if that’s the very last thing you WANT to
do)is Just Not Cool.

This means, like Nina said, anything that can jeopardize her job, her future..
and what ABOUT her marriage?

You don’t know if she’s a closet lesbian, discovering different feelings, or just
a warm and caring human being. But as long as she is in a committed
relationship, she is Off Limits. Any possible moment of pleasure could end up
hurting her, her kids, her husband AND you.

As to her motives and feelings, you just CAN’T know them. Unless you want
to take her out for coffee and ask point blank, you are spinning in circles
trying to figure them out, assign meanings and implications, and -let me be
blunt -feeding your own crush.

That all having been said, I know damn well that you may keep hanging
around, making excuses to be near her, and wondering what may come of it

and what it all means. HEY! You’ve fallen for someone! This is what humans
do! Sometimes it’s even enjoyable!

Someday you might fall for a woman, or man, that is available and therefore
less “safe” (than someone who is out of reach and easier to keep in the realm
of fantasy).

Until then, walk with honor. Feel good about her. Feel good about yourself.

Hugs,

Nightsinge

This may be most true in relationships.  In our excitement of a new prospect we forge forward blind of the Red Flags waving on the hill of perspective, warning us of a bad future.  So before you give away your heart here are a few more signs of caution to look for.

1.  They love to start arguments; to quarrel.

In college I had a few friends that would love to do this.  They would bring up a topic with the illusion that they wanted to hear your opinion.  But all they really wanted was to argue, to push their point.  Now let’s be honest, there have been times when we have all done this in one way or another.  There are moments when we have no desire to learn or try and gain understanding; we just want to air our own opinions.  These are weak times in all of us.  The thing to look for is a whether the person has a habit of doing this.  If this is a frequent activity be very wary.

Here are a few reasons why.  A person that loves to start arguments is a person that is typically not a learner; a person who lacks the habit of listening.  This constant need for arguing usually stems from a lack of self worth and insecurities.  For some reason, I’m not completely sure why, the person who loves to quarrel seems to love other activities that are not positive.

Now there are a few people that love to have discussions on topics in healthy ways.  There are not many people who have gained this ability, for it takes many years of practice and a heart for unity and understanding.

2.  You.

Perhaps the biggest Red Flag is the person in the mirror.  Though you will find that many people are attracted to someone who is opposite in terms of personality, this is not the case in the area of emotional health.

You will be attracted to someone who is at the same emotional level as you are.   Confidence does not breed with insecurity.  People who are unhealthy attract others similar to them.  It’s the same with healthy confident people.  You will find them with other healthy confident people.  It’s just the way it works.

This is why is so important to work on yourself before you even think about getting in a relationship.  A person that can’t be single for a significant amount of time and still have a high self esteem will get into a relationship for the wrong reason.  And guess of the type of person they will attract?  Someone who is also using the relationship as a way to try and boost their self-confidence; a recipe for hurt.

Take a good look in the mirror.  You and I are the biggest indicator of the relationships we’ll have.

Look I really need any help and advice that anyone can give. I just recently had a
huge revelation with myself and figured it out that I was bi.. and now I am crushing
on a girl for the first time and I’m stuck on what I want to do.

I met this girl through work, and over the past year we’ve become good friends and
we make each other laugh and have good conversations with each other.. a couple
weeks ago she told me she was bi (She doesn’t know I am bi too, actually no one know’s yet I don’t think).

Anyways, we have never hung out outside of work and stuff, but she’s leaving in like 2 weeks and I cried for hours yesterday after she told me…I want to let her know that I’m interested in her before she goes and that I like her more than just a friend..

The thing is she’s 5 years older than me..and I don’t know myself whether she’s interested…since i’ve never done this before I’m totally confused, upset and excited all at once!

Kristy

A

Don’t worry about the age thing, 5 years is no biggie. (Unless you’re
underage that is.)

She’s leaving work or town?

Let me know which she is leaving, because if it’s town, it’s not really fair for
you to tell her, and leave both of you wondering what if…

Always try for local and available women to date. Especially a first
relationship. It’s hard enough without the whole long distance insecurity
baggage.

If she’s just leaving the job, and staying in town, tell her, say “Hey, we should
do something afer work to celebrate your new job/whatever she is leaving
for.” Make it just the two of you.

You’re lucky because she’s already told you she’s bi, so she won’t run
screaming from the room when you say the same thing back.

QII

She is staying the the same town, just moving on to a different job.
Oh yeah, I forgot to add to the other post, that I’m 17 and she’s 22..Thats
our age difference.

AII

Here’s the part that would be the same regardless of your age:

In my view, any teen-aged person who thinks that he or she is gay, has done
a lot more thinking about their sexuality than one who just assumes that they
are straight.

This “more thinking” means that you are likely better able to handle yourself
in a relationship with an older person than a straight teen with an older
person. You know a lot more about yourself, and in some ways aren’t as
vulnerable.

The fact that your intended isn’t really out of her own teens, being only
22/23, also makes the situation easier than if your intended was 15 or more years older.

Here’s the advise because you are 17/18:

You already know she’s bi, so you are pretty safe that when you tell her that
you are bi and maybe a lesbian, she isn’t going to freak. Likely, she told you
she was bi to see if you would take the bait – to test the waters.

You’ve already been flirty with each other, and that’s not really something
that straight women do. Not totally straight women anyway.

What I would do is this: invite her out after work, just the two of you to
celebrate her change of jobs. Stay away from alcohol, because, while it does
lower inhibitions, it also decreases your ability and your focus. And you’ll need
your wits about you.

Think about the scenario in which she came out to you, she may have been
testing the waters, trying to see if you felt the same.

I can’t tell you the number of times woman came out to me in University,
and I keep thinking, what an idiot I was to have missed all those really hot
babes. I came out after university, at 23. There was a reason they were
telling me they were dykes, they were hitting on me, I just didn’t get it.

If you feel really brave, just get her to go out for coffee and lay the cards on
the table.

“Look, , we’ve been really good friends at work, and now you’re leaving and
I’m gonna miss you here, but I don’t want to loose this friendship or what it
may become. I really like you, and I’d like to keep seeing you – I’m bi too.”
kind of a thing.

You are in a sort of win win situation. If you tell her, and she says, yes I like
you too, let’s go out, you are golden. If she says, thank you, but I don’t think
of you that way, you’ll be hurt, but you won’t have to face her at work and have that torture. (the getting hurt is the sort of win part).

basically, if you don’t tell her, you’ll regret it the rest of your life.

You can’t get the girl by keeping silent. And she’s worth the risk.

If she ends up saying no, then at least you tried and there are LOTS of other
girls.

If you are 15: then the advise is to date a girl your own age, at least until
you are of the legal age of consent where you live so as to not get your
beloved in jail. It makes anniversaries not so pleasant with a plexiglass
screen between you, and just think of what the photos would look like later.

There is this girl at school that I liked for a while now, we just recently started talking.

I was at the softball conditioning with her one afternoon, we were alone, she said she had a lot of things to do after the conditioning, so I asked her to give me a hug. She did and I gave a a kiss close to her lips, she hugged me hard then she laughed.

I really don’t know why she laughed, I don’t think she thinks that I want to be in an intimate relationship with her. I really like this girl, but I just want to know if she likes me.

A

She clearly likes you in some way – otherwise, she wouldn’t have hugged you and probably would have reacted negatively to the kiss.

The only way you’re going to find out if the softball babe likes you in more
than a friend way is to ask her out for a coffee/meal or do something together
outside of the softball conditioning.

Sometimes, straight women stray into lesbian behaviors without even
realizing it for themselves. It’s not meant as a hurtful thing, it’s just easy that
words and gestures made in friendship advances can be easily misinterpreted.

Now, it may be that she is a dyke, and available and flirting.  The laugh makes me inclined to think so.

No real way to tell at this point. You need to get to know her a little better.
Are you an out lesbian on your softball team? (Is it a lesbian team?? Or is that a dumb question?)

Knowing if the opposite sex has interest in you is something very difficult for one or the other to explain, but with my video tutorial and this article should help those of you who have the same vague questions of “Does he/she like me?”

Girls:

• If a guy likes you, HE WILL CONTACT YOU! I see this a whole lot about a guy not responding back to the girl’s phone calls or texts. If he doesn’t respond, he isn’t interested in you. Sorry. That means, you need to move on from this guy and not waste any more of your time.  IMPORTANT! GIRLS, do not call or text a guy continuously if he does not respond to you. I see this a whole lot where girls will continue to call or text a guy even if they don’t respond. It’s only making you look bad and really pulling the guy away from you. It shows your needy and clingy.
• If a guy responds to your texts within the same day or 2 days, he’s interested. My boyfriend texted me the same night we met and told me to have a wonderful evening, hoping I made it in safely and to hopefully hang out with me soon. If a guy offers to hang out with just YOU and HIM, he likes you.

Overall, just let the guy do the work… that is what their supposed to do, right?! 

Guys:

• If she shows interest by talking a lot to you, smiling or texting back to you quickly. She likes you, so don’t ask, DO SOMETHING! Like the guy on Zombieland said, “Nut up, or shut up!” and that is exactly what you need to do. Man up, and go talk to her. The squeaky wheel always gets the grease. It will also show girls that you are a confident, mature guy.
• If she ditches you countless times, she’s just not interested in you… sorry! I have been known to do this because I know the guy likes me and I don’t like him. If he continues to bother me about going out, I continue to make excuses and ditch. If i’m interested in a guy, I will make sure to take the very first opportunity to go out on a date with him!

The “Friends” Category:

I’ve also seen a lot on Y! Answers about when a girl/guy says they want to be friends, what do I do? Well, you don’t try asking them out… That’s for sure! Obviously you have already given them clear signals that made them tell you right away that they are not interest and want to be friends. So, don’t make it even more awkward and bring it up again. They were nice enough to let you know and obviously care about your friendship. Now, it’s whether or not YOU want to take on the relationship as “just friends” or move on from being friends (because you only wanted to be friends to like them and hopefully date).

Coming up this week! Holiday shopping ideas affordable for your guy/gal!! Stay Tuned!! Happy Thanksgiving.

Don’t you want a life partner who is your best friend?  So why would you even hesitate to turn this deep friendship into a love relationship if you could?  

There is good reason not to do this.  This is coming from a woman who had a deep friendship with her husband before dating him. ME! So listen up.  I’m going to share my pearl of wisdom on the subject.

Keith and I were good friends before we started dating.  But make no mistake.  We were both very attracted to each other throughout our friendship.  We were just not in a place that would allow us to move forward in a relationship and give it the attention it needed and deserved.  I was finishing my degree and Keith was traveling for work.  When the timing was right, we turned up the heat and the rest is history.

It is necessary for a man to have sexual attraction towards a woman for a friendship to successfully bridge into a relationship.  If this does not exist, both the man and woman will experience dissatisfaction in the relationship.  The woman will always wonder if he might find someone else who he can share a close relationship and sexual attraction.

Sometimes, but rarely, a woman will fall for a man after getting to know him better and finding out all his wonderful qualities.  She might not be sexually attracted initially, but this grows over time.  However, for a man, the sexual attraction is almost instantaneous.  Rarely does this grow for a man over time. 

We’ve all heard of the “friends with benefits” relationship.  You might have experience this first hand.  However, the “friends with benefits” relationship rarely cumulates into anything meaningful. Women often hope that the man will wake up and realize what a great catch she is…and fall in love…and marry her.  Here is the real scoop. A man doesn’t need to be sexually attracted to a woman to have sex with her.  Having sex with a woman does not bridge a man into feelings of affection towards a woman.   If you think he is going to wake up and smell the coffee because you are having satisfying or even mind blowing sex, think again.  Chances are slim to none that this will happen.

A lifetime of sexual attraction is necessary to sustain a relationship through the tough times.  Sexual attraction comes in two forms; one is obsessive attraction and the other is romantic attraction.  They are very different and incomparable in the way they impact you.

Obsessive attraction is just like it sounds.  You are preoccupied with the person.  You think about them all the time. You can’t wait to see them again.  You attempt to stay connected in between your times together using text, email, and phone calls.  You think of cute, romantic gestures to make sure they know you are thinking about them.  You don’t want them not to be thinking about you!  This type of attraction takes off like a rocket and then quickly runs out of fuel. You feel uncertain, tense and insecure about yourself and how they really feel about you. This is one of the toxic relationship patterns we discuss in the Soul Mate Quest Seminar.  If you are attracted to this relationship pattern, you know you need to break it if you want to find love.  We will show you how. 

Romantic attraction is sexual attraction starts like a pot of very warm water on the stove on a low temperature and the heat is slowly turned up.  As you spend more and more time together the temperature begins to increase and cumulates into a low consistent boil.  There is definitely sexual tension in romantic attraction. Even if they haven’t expressed their feeling for you, you can sense the attraction.  If you are willing to take it slow, this type of attraction often leads to a long term commitment and is most satisfying to both men and women.

If you have the desire to find love; love that is satisfying and fulfilling, we hope you join us for the Soul Mate Quest Seminar January 9-10, 2010 in Pleasanton, CA (near San Francisco)  We will cover the 10 Toxic Relationship Patterns and how to avoid them.  We also cover the 10 Keys to getting into a healthy, passionate relationship.  If you are serious about finding love, you don’t want to miss out on this life changing workshop.  The cost is normally $595, but you get the workshop for $99 by entering the code SQW99.  This is the early registration price. 

Call us at 925-355-8081

 Jeannine and Keith Kaiser

I’m an extremely nice guy….I had opportunities to talk to girls and didn’t take them. It just seemed “awkward” and “low chance of success”. It’s been a unique situation for me coz I rejected girls who weren’t extremely pretty…. or feminine. What makes a girl not feminine? (Girls need not worry about these, unless you are dealing with a guy with extremely high standards based on looks) -Wearing loose clothes -Not showing skin/curves -Not wearing makeup/eyeshadow/eyeliner… /lipstick/lipgloss But LOW CHANCE > NO CHANCE. I’m single, I go for gorgeous girls..preferably Brown or Asian Nationalities, about same body size, a bit chubbier is okay, and similar heights hopefully not too tall… Would you rather be rejected by 5 girls and accepted by Girl #6, or be single for 60 years of your life… and realize you’re too old to spend you’re young happy years with a girl. INDEED. LIFE IS SHORT. SHORT OF TIME. SHORT OF OPPORTUNITY. ACT FAST. What’s the worst that could happen if you talk to her? A) she says” I HAVE A BOYFRIEND” or is polite and indirectly brings it up…”oh.. you’re from…._______….. my boyfriend lives there too” If the world were betting money between 2 guys to make a stranger girl into a friend. 1 guy walks away too shy, and 1 guy talks to her. YOU CAN BET YOUR LAST PENNY that THEY WOULD bet on the guy who TALKS TO HER. BE THAT GUY and nothing less. Now say, You don’t talk to her now. What happens? You never see her again. What if she has been smiling at you, eyeing you a lot.. and she is really attractive. Guess what? You don’t talk to her now.. and say goodbye to one GORGEOUS GIRL.. in looks..and there’s a chance she might be RICH.. or SMART or HARD WORKING… all qualities which would mean your life with her would probably be decent. I know I would make a girl really happy someday.. all I need is a chance … I’ve had girls eyeing me, and then looking away when I look in their way.. >>> I guess all I can do is force myself to talk to the next girl who smiles and seems interested. A gorgeous girl bumped into me while waiting for the bussy and said “sorry”. Maybe I should have taken the “bold approach” >> Me: “Oh its cool, so how’s your day going?” … I mean she indirectly started a conversation, why not continue it. It may have been her plan all along. Finding love is worth travelling, or waiting… Like the saying “life is short”..or as Eminem’s “Lose Yourself” puts it: ” Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity To seize everything you ever wanted-One moment Would you capture it or just let it slip? ” Hilary Duff’s “Why Not”, has similiar song lyrics. ” Why not take a crazy chance Why not do a crazy dance If you lose a moment You might lose a lot So why not, why not ” That’s 2 music artists, chanting to the world about taking that chance. Like I said, I talk big and back it up. I’m a caring and courteous guy, and ALWAYS DOWN TO HELP PEOPLE. Even if you don’t ask for help.. The way I see it, NOBODY GETS SCREWED ON MY WATCH…everybody is HAPPY with me around. It’s the way the world should be. Sadly, there are SELFISH LEECHERS, people asking to borrow money and never pay back, people offering to get you “stuff” and asking for the money first. If you drop your books, I might help you pick them up. If you leave something probably of value… where you sitting and then leave, I will run after you and tell you … I would

hold the door for you.

Tags:

PDNA exclusive, talking to girls, flirting, does she like me,how to get a girlfriend,where to find a girl,no girls like me,single for too long

1.) She seems to appear around you or in front of you “coincidentally” a lot. She wants you to notice her. [You bumped into her at your favorite Starbucks three days in a row. Or "Didn't I just see her down the hallway a minute ago? Why do I see her in the library now, again?"]

2.) She makes herself available to you most of the time. [She gives you her number, and she always answers your calls. She also sounds happy, if not thrilled, to hear from you.]

3.) She listens attentively when she’s in a conversation with you, and she remembers everything you said. [Everything means from tiny things, like your favorite drink and favorite color, to BIG things, like your favorite sports team and political views.]

4.) She doesn’t seem quite herself when she’s around you – can’t relax and self-conscious. [She's worried about her hair, her make up, her dress, the way she sits, and etc. If she's usually talkative, she may be quiet and shy around you.]

5.) Does she find an excuse or ask you a trivia question just to talk to you? ["Do you know where I can buy that book/pen/CD/candy bar/coffee mug (could be anything...)?”]

6.) She rarely answers your questions with a Yes or No, because she wants you to know her deep and well. She will intentionally but casually disclose personal information that she wants you to know or drops “subtle” hints that she’s interested in going out with you. [When you ask her if she likes sushi, she replies, “Oh, salmon rolls are my favorites! Did you know that there’s a new Japanese restaurant in town?”]

7.) Her jealousy glands kick in when you talk to other girls or when you mention about your ex girlfriends/wives. [Does she change the topic abruptly when you mention about your ex girlfriend?]

8.) She flirts with you and doesn’t mind friendly, gentle touches (a touch on the shoulder, hand or arm, or a brief hug). Most girls value their “personal space.” If she doesn’t like you, she would not let you intrude “her space.” However, if she doesn’t mind when you sit close to her or your friendly touches, that’s a good sign.

9.) She seems curious about your relationship or marriage status. This one is self-explanatory. [She asks your buddies if you have a girlfriend. She checks your ring finger for a wedding band. She asks if you are seeing anyone. Or she simply wants to know what you are doing on a Saturday night.]

10.) She does nice little things for you to make you happy. She is genuinely interested in the things you do and cares about your feelings and moods. Why? Because your emotions affect her.

Many men often lament, “Why are women so difficult to read?” “Why are they so confusing?” “Why do they send mixed signals?” “Why can’t they just say things directly?”

Well, I’m totally with you, guys. Women are confusing and complicated, very much indeed. However, we, women, can’t figure out you guys either. Which is precisely why I had stopped trying to understand the Martians and decipher their secret codes and hidden messages since long, long time ago. It does make the analytical process a lot easier and less complicated, because there simply isn’t one. The theory I have adopted: If he/ she likes you, he/she’ll care enough to tell you (one day…). If he/she doesn’t, you have got nothing to lose to begin with (means you aren’t that important to him or her anyways). If you really want to know and you are getting impatient, the easiest way is: ask him/her now. Be brave. Good luck!