This week was a short week due to the Thanksgiving holiday, so I worked out with Alan 3 times this week instead of the usual four. Enjoyed two fabulous turkey dinners, one for lunch and one for dinner with different sets of friends; and both were really fun and muy delicioso. I abstained from any pie but nibbled on the olives. I’ve still only lost 14.5 pounds, so I ordered some goodies off Amazon to give me some extra help… more on that later.

It seems everyone assumes that I must be eating like a horse since I’m being completely faithful to my workouts yet not losing weight, but in fact, I’m eating healthier than ever and in very reasonable portions. For instance, a yogurt for breakfast; a salad with hard-boiled egg for protein for lunch and no dressing; a bowl of homemade chili for dinner; yogurt for a before-bed snack; and water, water, water, water. That can’t be more than 1200 calories, surely. All I know is to stick with it, and my contrary metabolism has got to cave sooner or later. I did splurge and have one beer on Wednesday evening at the school festivities, but all I got for that was a horrible headache. Me + beer = Le Miserable!

Alan is planning to mix up my workouts since he says my core is very strong now; so we will be doing an assortment of upper and lower body weight training in addition to cardio intervals and core exercises. I just keep doing whatever he recommends, because I always feel better after my workouts than I did when I walked in; and I’m so energized and strong, I don’t want to lose all the progress I’ve gained. I just want to keep making significant gains in my confidence, endurance, energy, and strength. The amazing thing is that when I first started I was so far behind everyone else, but now I’m one of the strong ones. I’m one of the people who’s always hanging out in the weight room after school, dressed and ready to work. I’m realizing that one reward I’m receiving that was totally unexpected is the confidence that other people are expressing in my determination, and the respect in their voices when they comment on how I’m so consistent and faithful to my regimen.

Another thing that never seemed real to me before is that once I started to change my story, I could also help other people to change theirs too. I mean, if I can become disciplined in this, ANYONE can. And it’s not by strength of will except for the first two or three weeks; after that, my motivation has been totally based on the benefits I’m reaping in how I feel every day, and how I sleep, and how much more content I am with my life. It also helped me a lot to have people I didn’t want to let down. Alan is a terrific friend, and I didn’t want to let him down. My friends Gretchen, Kim, Beth, and Rhonda were cheering me on. That has been so helpful! So even though I’m kind of bummed about not magically dropping 25 or 30 pounds over the last 13 weeks, I know I’m on the right track, and since this is a life change, I’m not stopping for anything.

Things I never imagined before have now become a possibility to me. Firstly, trekking all over Egypt and climbing pyramids was my short-term goal. And that is only two weeks away!!! But I’m also looking forward to coaching soccer next year. I was already planning to do it this year, and all excited about it, but then there was a scheduling conflict with the classes I’m teaching to my colleagues every Tuesday and Thursday after school, so now that is postponed till next year. I’m thinking of my future vacations as opportunities to hike and bike and climb and swim and challenge myself in all sorts of ways. Isn’t that crazy?

More importantly, as I take more risks in the physical realm, I believe it will empower me to meaningfully demonstrate more faith in other areas of my life… being courageous and positive in my actions where before I was fearful and negative.

This week, I watched the movie Pay It Forward, and the words of the main character, a middle school student who believed in the power of change, really stuck in my mind.   It was less about helping yourself than being available to help others.  He said that it’s not enough to plan something out that you want to do for someone; you need to keep your eyes open and see where the need really is; and the thing that you give has to be a huge sacrifice, something you really don’t want to give.

After reading the book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller this week, I became inspired to “rewrite” my own life story, to throw away the boredom and routine in order to live a life more stressful, more painful, more sacrificial, and more REAL than I could have dreamed possible. Because things that are worth achieving are worth earning the hard way.

I no longer desire a life of comfort and ease, of TV and movies and pseudo-happy endings; of selfishness, vanity, safety and security. I want my life to BE more, to MEAN more, to MATTER more. I don’t know exactly what that entails, but I’m open to change. And at my age, I don’t have a lot of time to waste!!!

This past week I was down in Atlanta participating in the final National Youth Workers Convention (NYWC) of 2009. It was actually my last and final grad class that took me to the convention in the first place. Huntington has a partnership with Youth Specialties and as such they hold a couple of classes in conjunction with the convention every year for the past several years.

I’ve been fortunate enough to attend NYWC a few other times in the past, but this year seemed especially unique given the recent “BIG” news to hit the youth ministry world; to which I’ll refrain from commenting further, as there is already plenty floating about the blogosphere.

I arrived in Atlanta mid-afternoon on Wednesday, two days prior to the start of the convention. This was necessary as my class required my attention bright and early Thursday morning. Class was good, very good in fact. The topic was centered around collaboration in ministry and was team taught by Dr. Dave Rahn and Dr. Rene Rochester. Prior to class, I had not met Dr. Rene, but what an amazing woman. Never have I known someone who could so easily converse Scripture into your life. Class concluded Friday afternoon and we were free to now fully engage the whole of the convention.

In a word I’d have to describe NYWC as different. This however, does not indicate a negative. The convention (what parts I engaged) were in fact quite good. Yet, it was different. Likely this had to do with several factors (i.e Mark Matlock as the primary host, or the cutting back of entertainment, the addition of open space, or the downsized expo hall to name but a few). I would on occasion bump into complete strangers who were also attending the convention and for whatever reason they felt compelled to share with me their take on this year’s convention. The common theme, “this year is different!” Fitting I think, given that the theme was Time, and with time comes the end of the old and the beginning of the new.

A few highlights for me: Francis Chan and Donald Miller both spoke on the main stage and were challenging and thought provoking. Andrew Root offered a seminar on the hyper-real generation and stirred my brain entirely. It was also nice to get to be with Huntington friends I only see once in a while as well as be able to spend a good deal of time with my friend and ministry colleague Jason and his friend Nate. The only real down side to the convention this time around for me, was I had to leave my two beautiful girls at home.

All in all, I’m glad to have been a part of NYWC 2009, and while I don’t know what the future holds for NYWC, YS, or even the world of youth ministry as I (we) know it; I do know that God continues to call me to serve teenagers. And for that I am blessed, excited, a bit nervous and grateful.

1. Audio from the main sessions of Acts 29 recent boot camp in Louisville. The theme was centered around Ambition.
2. Winfield Bevins on Letting God speak to you. For many of us, the reason we don’t hear from God is because of things we are doing.
3. 7 reasons Christians should twitter. It’s official, Jesus wants you to twitter. (Just kidding)
4. Thoughts on your life as a story. Cody is a new revolutionary and new at blogging. Give him some love and check him out. By the way, he is a really good writer. (That’s two who think so Cody)
5. Some thoughts on understanding the doctrine of the Trinity.
6. Men, lead your family well. I just discovered Dustin Neeley but have gotten so much from what he has written. He says 2 things every pastor needs to hear:  “Your church can get a new pastor, but your kids have one dad and your wife has one husband.”

Today there is a slight drizzle of rain outside my window, the temperature is in the 50s, just cold and wet enough to give a person the excuse to stay indoors wearing slippers and pondering some of the larger things of life.

This weekend I was privileged to take some Lipscomb students to Youth Specialties National Youth Workers Convention where we got exposed to some great ideas for youth ministry as well as personal spiritual development.  The highlight for me was Donald Miller calling us to live lives that are stories worth telling as well as living.  Miller contends that our lives (and faiths)  have been HIGHJACKED by the tiny, insignificant stories that dominate our culture.

• small stories like a Roomba vacuum cleaner that promises life fulfillment as it meanders throughout your living room floor.
• tiny stories like a dish washing soap that will fill your soul with joy and happiness as the bubbles miraculously scrub away grease and grime for you.
• insignificant stories like a Volvo that will provide your life with meaning and purpose through its 47 air bags protecting you from harm’s way at every turn.

These stories have convinced us that God and His OMNIPOTENT grace and OVERWHELMING mercy aren’t relevant or accessible in our lives.  That these porduct can give us the experiences and relationship that give meaning to our lives when in reality they will only hollow out our souls leaving us empty shells.

So the call and the challenge for us in youth ministry is to provide our students with that story, that metanarrative the provides purpose, meaning, and HOPE that provides CONFLICT and the INCITING INCIDENTS that get us off our suburban butts and into the lives of those who Jesus calls us to serve and reach out to:  the orphaned, the homeless, the widowed, the disenfranchised.

This is a STORY that can incite REVOLUTION in an adolescent who is trying to find purpose and meaning in fashion, music, video games, movies, drugs, cutting, sex, gossip, or any other false god that they have let write their story.

This is a STORY that can motivate this generation of students to live with and without FEAR. With a reverent fear of an omnipotent God that calls us to be salt and light in this world balanced without a fear of living a life without meaning and purpose in order to distribute grace and mercy to lonely and invisible in their worlds.

This is a STORY that will allow teens to IGNORE the naysayers and creatively DISCOVER how to eradicate hunger, malaria, poverty, apathy in their world.

God, may we live big lives with big stories as you are a big God.

Amen.

who knows what possessed me to give in a join the ranks of the bloggers.  currently in atlanta for national youth workers convention, we finish up later this morning.  coming to one of these things is truely like trying to drink from a fire hydrant.  everyone has something to say, and each time it seems like this particular “nugget” is the one that will change everything.  all the ipods and blackberrys come out in full force to take notes or tweet the point.  some of the dinosaurs still actually still write things on paper.  it feels like we’re all here looking for maybe that one thing that will ignite our youth ministry.  then we get a guy like donald miller who tells us that  the conflict that we so desire to conquer is the very thing that is essential to the success of the ministry.  even with the francis chans and donald millers and andy stanleys coming at us with all this, the one thing of the entire weekend that stuck out for me was something that came from a youth’s lips as he was interviewed on stage.  the name of the student escapes me, but he said this…”When you really care about and love your students, they can tell…they can also tell when you’re using them as a stepping stone to the big pulpit.”  how great is that?  i’m not one that aspires to become a senior pastor any time soon…or ever for that matter, but what a point the kid makes.  when we love them, they can tell.  what a concept.  i sat down with the intention of maybe taking a look at all i had learned over the weekend, but really, what it comes down to as much as anything is the fact that i feel refreshed, renewed, revitalized.  there is so much to be said for being around those who share the same struggles, joys, and everything in between…as i do.

Again, some of my notes from Donald Miller’s talk on Saturday morning. These are very raw and I simply copied/pasted from my notebook. So I apologize if it’s a bit jumpy and choppy. ENjoy!!!!!

Sunday morning – Donald Miller

as a youth leaders, what if you saw your job as a directory of a story?

it takes a specific kind of character to tell a meaningful story

- not a perfect character

- not a self righteous character

- has to sacrifice themselves to the benefit of other people (Michael Scott buying Pam’s painting)

- success is not the most compelling ingredient to a compelling or meaningful life

- character is only known by what they actually do: not our words, intentions, dreams, or who we wish we were. Only what we do. (show don’t tell)

Every sunday we are doing that with God.

- He’s telling us about himself, and we look at it and say, whats in it for me. if we are teaching the bible that way, its not what God intends.

What does the character want? if you don’t know 30 minutes in, they are mudding up the story

- what we want is ruining our story

- the youth of culture are targeted to live lame (I want a Volvo) stories.

- Don’t simply “advertise” Jesus

Wwe have 360,000 churches around the country. What would it look like if each church started some sort of mentoring program to reach out to the kids who are fatherless? How would ha change our culture?

In a story, you must have:

/  conflict. there must be some sort of conflict

/  what does a lack of conflict do? we tell boring, uninspiring stories that are pointless and boring to everyone around us.

/  we love conflict in movies, we hate conflict in our lives

/

Conflict:

/  existed before the fall of man

/  in the garden of eden there was conflict

/  god looks at adam and sees that he is lonely. what is lonely? a negative action. lonely is wanting something that you don’t have.

/  Adam was not fulfilled by God. He was not completed by God.

/  God doesn’t immediately fix adam’s problem. he tells adam to name the animals

/  THAT SUCKS! that’s not going to help

/  scene of adam and eve gets it’s beauty b/c of the conflict. if he wasn’t struggling, no beauty

Heres what god did with adam:

/  creatd protaganist

/  made port. go through conflict before he got what he needed

/  god guided adam through narrative experience to teach him: conflict exist.

/  why? conflict isn’t bad. we got conflict was bad from movies, commercials. etc.

/  what adam does not do? he doesn’t feel sorry for himself, he doesn’t’ question the love of God,

/  conflict is ok. hurts the most: the thought that you’re not supposed to experience it. YOu think there’s these utopian expirence that your supposed to experience and you miss out on.

/  we’ve learned that conflict: the only way a human being develops is thru pain. joy doesn’t change people. pain changes people.

/ conflict will not leave your life. you can’t avoid it.

/  the only thing you can do is change your attitude towards it. god has given us an opportunity to redeem the things that are bad and that can help other people.

/  the only way you can value something is when you feel pain for it.

The Fall of man

/  Act 3: when a single actinos resolves everything. makes everything great.

/  exists b/c its true to human experience? no, our conflict doesn’t end. we will take it to our grave

/  this effects us in hard ways and we can’t reverse it.

/  what do we do with the conflict? 3,000 times a day  you are convinced that there is something that can help you, fix you, make you better. this filters into everything and jesus becomes a product we must sell that can “fix” people.

/  you are not gonna ever be the person that God designed you to be. You can’t be until you reach the feast of the King in heaven. and you walk around naked and don’t even know it.

No girl who plays the role of a hero dates a guy who uses her.  She knows who she is.  She just forgot for a little while.

Donald Miller

from A Million Miles in a Thousand Years

p. 54

I finished Donald Miller’s new book shortly after receiving it in the mail this week and what hooked me into reading it so quickly was probably the introduction:

If you watched a movie about a guy who wanted a Volvo and worked for years to get it, you wouldn’t cry at the end when he drove off the lot, testing the windshield wipers.  You wouldn’t tell your friends you saw a beautiful movie or go home and put a record on to think about the story you’d seen.  The truth is, you wouldn’t remember that movie a week later, except you’d feel robbed and want your money back.  Nobody cries at the end of the movie about a guy who wants a Volvo.

But we spend years actually living those stories, and expect our lives to feel meaningful.  The truth is, if what we choose to do with our lives won’t make a story meaningful, it won’t make a life meaningful either.

Also I laughed out loud at his roommate’s response to the new project he was working on:

You’re writing another book about yourself?

Yes he did.  I kind of wondered the same thing when I saw it at first, but he captured me with his words again.

You can find more words that I loved from this book over at the place where I sometimes save things I can’t hold in my head.

It didn’t occur to me at the time, but it’s obvious now that in creating the fictional Don, I was creating the person I wanted to be, the person worth telling stories about.  It never occurred to me that I could re-create my own story, my real life story, but in an evolution I had moved toward a better me.  I was creating someone I could live through, the person I’d be if I redrew the world, a character that was me but flesh and soul other.  And flesh and soul better too.
Donald Miller

from A Million Miles in a Thousand Years

p.29

When Steve, Ben and I wrote our characters into the screenplay, I felt the way I hope God feels as he writes the world, sitting over the planets and placing tiny people in tiny wombs.  If I have a hope, it’s that God sat over the dark nothing and wrote you and me, specifically, into the story, and put us in with the sunset and the rainstorm as though to say, Enjoy your place in my story.  The beauty of it means you matter, and you can create within it even as I have created you.

I’ve wondered though, if one of the reasons we fail to acknowledge the brilliance of life is because we don’t want the responsiblity inherent in the acknowledgment.  We don’t want to be characters in a story because characters have to move and breathe and face conflict with courage.  And if life isn’t remarkable, then we don’t have to do any of that; we can be unwilling victims rather than grateful participants.

But I’ve noticed something.  I’ve never walked out of a meaningless movie thinking all movies are meaningless.  I only thought the movie I walked out on was meaningless.  I wonder, then, if when people say life is meaningless, what they really mean is that their lives are meaningless.  I wonder if they’ve chosen to believe their whole existence is unremarkable, and are projecting their dreary life on the rest of us.

p. 59-60

…once you know what it takes to live a better story, you don’t have a choice.  Not living a better story would be like deciding to die…

p. 66

I found myself wanting even better stories.  And that’s the thing you’ll realize when you organize your life into the structure of story.  You’ll get a taste for one story and then want another, and then another, and the stories will build until you’re living a kind of epic of risk and reward, and the whole thing will be molding you into the actual character whose roles you’ve been playing.  And once you live a good story, you can’t go back to being normal; you can’t go back to meaningless scenes stitched together by the forgettable thread of wasted time.  The more practice stories I lived, the more I wanted an epic to climb inside of and see through till its end.

p. 155

Last night I went to, an evening with Donald Miller.  Don and Susan Isaacs were promoting their new books (A Million Miles in a Thousand Years and Angry Conversations With God)  on a book tour and I had the opportunity to attend the Greenville College stop.

Here are a few of my notes:

Susan Isaacs

• Susan makes me uncomfortable.  I’m not sure why but from the moment she stepped on the stage I couldn’t “settle”.  I wonder if it is because she questions the foundations of the faith or if it was because she mocked things that I take seriously.
• The worldview you have shapes the view you have of God in your head.
• Susan “blurs the line” from time to time.  People laughed.  I didn’t.
• When we criticize the church, we criticize ourselves.  Thank you that I am not the only people who says this.
• “God totally trashed my life and it”s the best thing that has ever happened to me.”
• I don’t want to read her book, alot of women probably do.

Donald Miller

Personal Questions:

• Can we ever be Christians, call ourselves Christians, and not talk about the Bible?
• What if we read the Bible to get to know God better instead of reading it for ourselves?
• What do you do that benefits other people?
• What do you want right now in life that is stupid, that doesn’t matter, that is material?

Take-a-ways:

• Movie to rent: Adaptation
• Book to buy: “Man’s Search for Meaning” Viktor Franco

Other Bullet Points:

• Story: A character that wants something and overcomes conflict to get it.
• “The best way a human can learn is through story”
• In story, success doesn’t matter.  You will go knowhere unless you learn to overcome conflict.  Winning means absolutely nothing.
• Fear paralyzes us from moving forward.  Conflict is never going to leave. Its good to embrace conflict.
• “The more Adam worked in the garden, the more he admired Eve.”
• Enjoy the little things in life.  Don’t miss them.  If you do, you missed out and it’s your fault.

What an awesome evening.

Special thanks to my good friend Janie for the ticket.  It was much appreciated.  I owe ya one!

-jordan

At McKays Used Bookstore tonight I saw something pretty funny… One of my favorite authors has apparently been writing for a new genre. Check it out!

How this happened is beyond me, but I do think it’s possible that Don’s Million Miles Tour has him feeling like a zombie after over 2 months on the road! Funny stuff!

Don, hope you and Susan are well and looking forward to taking a break! See you Friday in Nashvegas!

Over the past seven months, we have been writing to raise questions and reflect on the opportunities created by the economic downturn. We agree that the answer to “what do you do?” plays a major role in defining your identify in New York City and other career-minded communities. With this knowledge, we are spreading a perspective that following your passion is essential. It is a non-negotiable for fulfillment. You can’t afford to settle for anything less. And if you’re unemployed and searching right now, please enjoy the freedom. It is a rare gift.

Every time I read another author’s take on this same subject, I am agog with hope that there is perhaps a little counter-cultural revolution out there, formed of people who are changing the course of their lives. One such author who’s inspired me continually for the past two years is Donald Miller. His new book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, may just change the course of my life. Here’s the premise of the book: Donald wrote a NYTimes best-seller called Blue Like Jazz a few years back. A couple of filmmakers contacted Donald and proposed making a full-length feature film based on his memoir. Donald agreed after some coaxing. As they began to sketch out the story arc, Donald realized they were changing all sorts of details about his life, such as adding in the fact that he worked in a factory. When he asked why his “story” aka his life wasn’t good enough for the screen, they replied simply: “Your life is boring.”

This statement sent Donald on a significant quest to find out what makes a story worth telling and how could he live a life worth making a movie about. Through the study of narrative, Donald found out that good stories involve characters who want something and overcome conflict to get it.

So this overweight writer decided to change his life. He hiked the Inca Trail, not only to prove it to himself but to impress a girl. He found his estranged father whom he hadn’t seen in thirty years and told him he forgave him. He rode his bike from Los Angeles to DC to raise money and awareness for a non-profit group providing wells in Africa. He also tells stunning stories of families who radically changed their daily lives to get rid of the dysfunction.

Every time I read a chapter, I am compelled to close the book and my eyes and ask myself, “Am I living a story worth telling? Is my family living a story worth telling?” I called my Mom one evening and told her we couldn’t do presents this year. “There’s a better story for us, Mom,” I whispered on the bus. I don’t know yet what this story is, but I do know that my family is highly generous in love and immensely broke. I’ll keep you posted with what we come up with, but for now I’ll say that I’m asking everyone in my family to write about what they are passionate about. We are related by blood–there will undoubtedly be something in common that we can pour our efforts into. I want to find something that’s better than sweaters, toys and blenders under the tree. I want to see real joy in their eyes.

*Grace

Read the book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. It might just change your life.

i guess i have to start somewhere…

i’m still working out the layout and feel of this blog, and my website. but i know i want to start, and to do that i just have to start. my goal is to share with you “memorable moments” (a phrase i’ve stolen and love from Donald Miller). this will hopefully include photos, writing, my journey through creative arts. i won’t lie, i’m hoping to get more than just one follower of this thing, but for now i’m still trying to figure out the differences between just having tags and categories and an actual page. i suppose the more i do, the better at this i will become.

but for now, this is a start.

After a great weekend and an easy drive home from Brownwood, I landed myself a massive headache. I have typed up my notes/thoughts about the Donald Miller lecture but I can’t make myself form cohesive thoughts out of them because Oh My Gosh. I am currently wearing a shower cap of pain. I am now going to close my eyes and hope this goes away by the morning.

In the mean time, you all should download the lecture from the following link, and give it a listen. Donald Miller himself encouraged us all to “pirate the hell out of the CD,” so you don’t even have to feel guilty about it.

Click here to download Donald Miller’s A Million Miles in A Thousand Years book tour lecture

By Wes Pickering, special to Backseat Writer I somehow managed to get the AM and PM reversed on my alarm clock again.  So, when my phone rang at 10:23, I jolted awake with that sickly “I’m late!” feeling.  I shook myself and answered the phone with my best I’ve-been-awake-for-hours-and-I’m-totally-professional voice.

“Hello, this is Wes.”

“Hi, Wes.  This is Sara Groves.”  And so started my first conversation with the writer whose impact on my own songwriting has been nothing short of profound.

When Groves’ new album Fireflies and Songs (INO) landed in my inbox a few weeks ago, I immediately listened through in its entirety.  From the opening lyric, “Go on and ask me anything.  What do you need to know?” I knew that this was going to be something special, a return to the kind of introspection and vulnerability that made her album All Right Here a staple in my car for the past seven years.  Whether it’s the tenderness of “From This One Place,” the raw honesty of “It’s Me,” or the sweetness of a love song like “Twice As Good,” Fireflies and Songs showcases what Sara Groves does best, and that’s write about life.  I talked with Sara about writing for Fireflies.

Did you approach the new record with a central theme in mind?

I didn’t on this one.  I had some theme ideas, some pretty goofy theme ideas.  I was going to write all these character sketches, and I had a song about a policeman and a boxer, all these things.  I brought these ideas in to a couple friends, in particular to Jeff Mosley, our label president, and he just said, “I feel like it’s been a long time since we’ve heard from you.  Just checking in, you know?  You’re 37, a wife, a mom.  Where are you?  You haven’t written from your home in a while.”

With the first line being “Go on and ask me anything,” I think that it was a good clue that we’re in for a much more personal record this time.

I was kind of, at the beginning, a little, not reluctant, but just kind of felt tired at the thought of it.  You know, it’s hard to do that, to write and press in and be even more confessional because I feel like I’m a pretty highly disclosing person, so to try to disclose more than that.  And it ended up being very reflective because Troy and I went through this whole season in our marriage that I’ve never written about yet because I turned my sights to other things like social justice.  So every single song as it came out, every single one at some point, I was crying like a baby over it because it was just helping me name something we had worked through and to recognize where we are now, which is a really amazing place, and where we were which was a really crappy place.  The whole time, I just got to see the faithfulness of God, and so it was really deeply good to write it.

If you could get everybody in America to listen to three of the songs on the new record, which three would you want to make sure that everybody heard?

I’ll start with “Different Kinds of Happy” because that’s part of our sickness: that we’re pursuing this ultimate, personal comfort and happiness until you’ve suffered through something and get on the other side, and you realize that there’s different kinds of happy.  There’s the happy of my wedding day, which is sort of what all the movies are about, the sweetness of standing up with my family looking on and all the beauty of that.  And then there’s the happy of a day in the counselor’s office where we’ve just ripped our guts out and laid them on the table, and I’ve told him, “This is who I really am.  Are you going to stick around?” and he just showed me, “This is who I really am. Are you going to stick around?”  And we walked out of there with a joy; I can’t even explain the happy of that day.  It’s just unspeakable.  Our marriage now is the fruit of that better foundation being laid.  That was like at Year Seven.  Of all the marriages that I know, the best ones have just gone to hell and back.  Not that you have to do that; I know some marriages where that having just disemboweled each other, but pretty much the best marriages I know are just beautiful because they’ve had to work it out.  That’s what “Different Kinds of Happy is about.” I just love that message, for myself and for others.

Probably, “This Old House” just because that song feels right to me.  I don’t know.  Do you ever feel that way about a song?

Oh yeah, definitely.

I think everybody’s got that house.  I was driving home, and a detour made me turn into my old neighborhood.  I had my little girl in the car, my third, and she was growing so fast, so I wanted my mom to see her.  I miss my mom and my dad; they live in Missouri and I don’t get to see them all the time.  So, I drove by my old elementary school, and it was right when school was letting out, and I saw this little girl running down the street with stringy brown hair, just picturing myself.  And again, all the sudden (and this whole record is kind of this way), it was an opportunity for all the lessons and struggles and the faithfulness of God to just go streaming, coursing through my body.  It’s one of those moments where it’s a barometer reading, where all the sudden I remember how it was when I was that age.  I remember the things that were difficult and great about that, and look at where I am now.  There’s something about physically being there.  You can think about your old elementary school, but it’s just not going to be the same until you’re standing on that ground.

So I told Ruby, “Let’s drive by the house.”  This house was built in 1898, and the stories go on and on.  It was literally just falling apart.  For my mom, it marked a really difficult season because it was not her favorite place to live, but for us it was sort of like an adventure.  You know, there’s the good and the bad.  But it was for sale, and all of the curtains were out of the windows; so I just got to walk around and look into the piano room where I started playing music when I was four and would play my own songs for all those years.  So, I kept saying to Ruby the line from the Laura Story song, which is also line from the Bible, where Jesus says, “He’s withheld no good thing,” not because I’m financially well off but just because all five of us have gone different places now, and God has kept us through all of life, all the stuff.

From there, they’re all stories, but “Setting Up the Pins” is kind of fun.  I don’t know if that should be in the top three, but it’s a song I wrote when I was washing the dishes.  I think that’s also a theme of my life, something I think and meditate on a lot: it’s these small things.  Everyone, in their life, is setting up some kind of pins that will be knocked down the next day.  Even rich people who pay other people to set up their pins like laundry and stuff like that, they’re setting up other pins that will be knocked down.  No one escapes it, and we can either enjoy it or we can always be angry about it.  So, it’s kind of like a dish washing song….a bed-making, dinner-cooking song.

Now, this is something that I wanted to ask you for a long time.  A lot of times you write about topics that get overlooked by other writers, especially in the Christian market, personal things like your marriage or doubt or friendship.  How much of that is an intentional decision to write about things that aren’t being talked about, and how much of it is just writing what comes easy to you?

I think it’s definitely what comes out of me.  I remember trying to write before I was doing music full time.  I was just playing backup keyboards on the worship team, and I would turn myself way low because I was so self conscious.  I was writing music, and I thought, “Well, I’ll write a worship song.”  I have the hardest time writing just a basic, congregational, sing-along song.  They always end up too wordy or too personal.  That’s hard to do for me.  So this is definitely just what comes out of me, and I been really grateful.  I have lots of friends who have gone into general market or secular music.  I have a friend who, years ago, we would have conversations; he was playing in the bars and was like, “This is where it’s at.  This is where people need the music and need the gospel.”  But I always felt really called to speak to the Church and called to preach to the choir because I don’t think the Church is free.

So, in that sense I feel more like Jeremiah… Okay, I won’t compare myself to Jeremiah because he’s my favorite prophet ever!  But I feel like, in my small way, that’s my call, to say, “Hey church, what the heck?” or “What are we doing?” or “What am I doing?”  I also try to use myself; I steer away from finger wagging.  So, I’ve always felt comfortable.  I mean, it took me a while because I would listen to other music and think, “Why doesn’t that come out of me?”  But it doesn’t, and I feel like God’s made a space for me in this way.  I had a friend ask me, “Do you wish, early on, that you had just gotten into a general market scene where you could write about anything?”   I feel like if God had even opened that door, which he didn’t, then wouldn’t be free to write about faith as explicitly as I have.  So, I do feel called to the space that I’m inhabiting.  I feel like God made a space for Sara Groves.

It is different now because everything is going towards praise and worship, but I feel like we still need a Christian worldview.  What I mean by that is there’s no such thing really as “Christian music.”  Charlie Peacock always says, “God is the ocean, and we keep writing about a cup of water.”  So, I always take that challenge up.  I always think about that when I’m writing.  You know, Jesus came to reconcile all things to himself, and I want to write about all things.  I feel like I should be able to square off with any thought and any problem and any issue and write freely about it as a believer.  My worldview, my faith in Christ, should be able to approach that.

With that in mind, have you ever written anything you wish you could take back?

You know, little things here and there, the way I thought when I was young.  Some of the absolutes that I thought about faith: those things have changed a little bit in me.   But no.  I feel really grateful in that regard for the most part.

I won’t tell you what song, but there was one song that I wrote: it was a little bit contrived.  I wrote it from a place – to have a song on radio or something, and that song bums me out.  Because it actually did very well, and that kind of bums me out.  I know, even though a lot of people love that song, and it did really well, I feel like that just personally, after that one time, I thought, “I’m not going to do that again.”  I’m going to ask God, “What do you want me to write?” and write that, write what I feel like whatever he’s is putting on my heart and mind.  So, it’s funny because the one song I regret is probably my most “Christian-y” song.  Well, not regret.  That’s a strong word.

When you listen to a writer for several years, you kind of get the feeling that you know them, especially a writer like you because you put so much of yourself in your music.  But one of the things that you rarely get to see is somebody’s shortcomings.  So, what is your biggest character flaw?

I have ridiculously high expectations, not just of people around me but of myself.  It’s like poison to my family.  So, that’s my current one that I’m working on: letting go of these unrealistic expectations.  I’m not talking about good, healthy expectations.  I just go crazy, and my husband is just so amazing and my kids are so amazing.   So I have to temper that constant voice that I’m not arriving or never have achieved what I thought.

Donald Miller, in his new book – it’s so good!  It’s really great.  He has a chapter on expectations, and he says that the happiest place on earth is Denmark.  And the reason is because they have low expectations.  Just in general, culturally, they tend to have really low expectations.  So, I’m trying to live more like a…Denmarkian?  What would you call it?

A Dane.

A Dane! I’m trying to think like a Dane.  That’s currently what God is purging in me.

That actually answers what I was going to ask you next. I was going to ask what you’ve been reading, but what have you been listening to lately?

Man, I feel like I’ve been kind of music-less.  Oh!  Well, I just ran a half-marathon. So, I’ve been listening to lots of good running music.

Okay, what’s on your running playlist?

Well, Coldplay, for sure, because you can’t run without listening to Coldplay.  It’s such great running music.  And I’ve got this old song, my favorite song; it’s called “Ninety-nine and a Half Won’t Do.”  It’s an old civil rights song, and the chorus says, “Lord I’m runnin’ and I’ve got to make a hundred.  Ninety nine and a half won’t do.”  And the choir sings, “Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty five, thirty, thirty five, forty!”  They just do this big build up, “Ninety one won’t do! Ninety two won’t do!”  And the woman singing it is just killing it.  So, that’s my favorite running song.  That’s what song I want played at my funeral.  Again, the high expectations!  But ninety nine and a half won’t do.

If you could write with anybody, you’ve just got an open rolodex, who would you want to write with?

Man, there’s so many people.  Mindy Smith.  I mean, I wouldn’t want to mess up what she does though.  So, when I say this, I mean, I’d just love to sit and watch them write.  Patty Griffin, Mindy Smith, Pierce Pettis: that’s my favorite kind of music.  Whoever’s writing for Alison Krauss.  I love that.  Soulful.

Well, let me take you briefly back to your record The Other Side of Something because on that record you have a song called “Esther.”  I had that album playing the day I adopted my dog.  The shelter had named her Doodles which I thought was ridiculous.  So, I was going through names and she wasn’t responding to anything.  And when that song came on, I said, “What about Esther?”  And she perked up.  Now my dog’s name is Esther because of your song.  So, tell me about that song.

Aw! I love that!  That’s a real Esther in my life, my Great Aunt Esther.  The song is basically her bio.  She was married to David.  David had a degenerative brain disease, and they couldn’t have children.  It was genetic and they risked passing it down to any kids that they might have, so they decided not to have children.  She nursed him until she was in her fifties, and then he passed away.  She was just so faithful to him and it was very, very difficult.  She swore she’d never get married again. She hit the mission field, and she went to Romania, and when she finally landed in Africa, God captured her heart and Africa captured her heart.

She worked as a missionary there and, at 72, married a missionary.  That happened after I wrote the song.  She remarried, and she’s married now to a missionary who had lost his wife to cancer.  I think they’re home now, and I think they came off the mission field just this last year.  She’s 77 now.  So, that’s a real Esther; she did AIDS education and mission work.  It was a Christian organization so they always brought the Gospel but it was mostly education work, teaching communities to take care of their own so that people weren’t sent away.

So, do you still have Esther?

I do, she’s actually right here, lying at my feet.

I guess that brings me full-circle.  I’m sitting at my desk writing with Esther lying at my feet again and Fireflies and Songs playing on my stereo.  The biggest thing I take away from my conversation with Sara Groves is thankfulness: thankfulness that somebody I’ve looked up to for so long is a real person and that the ups and downs she writes about aren’t at all contrived but an honest reflection on where God’s path through life has led her and her family.  All too often, when I’ve had the opportunity to meet someone who I’ve admired, that person turns out to be completely different from the persona they put forth, and it’s refreshing to know that Sara is as genuine as I hoped she would be.  I’m also thankful for the many times over the past ten or so years that Sara’s music has gotten me through the stuff of life, and I’m thankful that she continues to write those kinds of songs.

Wes Pickering is a singer/songwriter who recently released an EP called Being Born.  He resides in Nashville with his beloved dog, Esther.  You can visit Wes online at wespickering.com.

I have been obsessed with mandarin oranges. The ones that come in a cup. They’re so good! It’s been a really rough week for me. I haven’t done well in my internship. I feel like I’m starting to get burned out. Not necessarily burned out of my internship, but just a general stress level. I’m always worried I’m not good enough. It’s always higher towards the end of the semester.

I just finished doing a video project for my Practice Lab and it turned out well! Hopefully we can play it on another DVD player. We had to play social workers and it turned out great.

There are a couple more projects we need to worry about before the year ends.

I was able to meet up with Lizzie this past week. If you’re the praying kind, please keep my friend Liz in your prayers. You need not know why, God will know what to do with your prayers. She really needs it, though. More specifically, her unborn child. Thanks in advance.

So let me explain why Donald Miller was such a big deal to me.

Back in 2007, I went to Mexico for an internship in nursing school. I met a really great person there, Katy, who was reading Blue Like Jazz. She recommended it to me. When I got home, I went through some of the hardest tribulations in my life. I left nursing school, against everyone’s wishes, and I went to chase my dream in social work. During my first semester as a Sociology major, I read Blue Like Jazz and it changed my life. It made me happy. And most importantly, it renewed my faith. I questioned my faith when I was 12. And I looked at other people’s faith and found theology interesting. But, it never really quite fit me. I believed in God and Jesus. And that was that.

But this book lit a fire in my soul and made me passionate about my faith. A friend of mine, Monet, introduced me to Beth Moore, who teaches a bible studies at First Baptist Church, in March 2008. I don’t know why, but I went with no question. No one held my hand, I just picked up my Bible and went. And with that, my faith grew and made me grow as a human being.

I credit Donald Miller and Beth Moore for my transformation. I have continuously attended Beth Moore’s study since March 2008. And I had the pleasure to meet her and give her a hug. But with Donald Miller living in Portland, it was rare that he would have a speaking engagement in his previous home of Houston.

Then he had a new book tour for his current book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. And he came to Pasadena. And Priscilla and I met him. And it was grand.

It was a big deal because my faith has come around full circle. And I had him to thank for it. To be able to meet him was an unbelievable privilege.

I’m off to watch 2012 and Precious.

Today is international twloha day…basically to show your support for this cause you just write the word love on your arm for the day…whe people ask you why, you tell them this story:

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Friday, April 18, 2008

READ THE STORY HERE.
TO WRITE LOVE ON HER ARMS.
by jamie tworkowski

Pedro the Lion is loud in the speakers, and the city waits just outside our open windows. She sits and sings, legs crossed in the passenger seat, her pretty voice hiding in the volume. Music is a safe place and Pedro is her favorite. It hits me that she won’t see this skyline for several weeks, and we will be without her. I lean forward, knowing this will be written, and I ask what she’d say if her story had an audience. She smiles. “Tell them to look up. Tell them to remember the stars.”

I would rather write her a song, because songs don’t wait to resolve, and because songs mean so much to her. Stories wait for endings, but songs are brave things bold enough to sing when all they know is darkness. These words, like most words, will be written next to midnight, between hurricane and harbor, as both claim to save her.

Renee is 19. When I meet her, cocaine is fresh in her system. She hasn’t slept in 36 hours and she won’t for another 24. It is a familiar blur of coke, pot, pills and alcohol. She has agreed to meet us, to listen and to let us pray. We ask Renee to come with us, to leave this broken night. She says she’ll go to rehab tomorrow, but she isn’t ready now. It is too great a change. We pray and say goodbye and it is hard to leave without her.

She has known such great pain; haunted dreams as a child, the near-constant presence of evil ever since. She has felt the touch of awful naked men, battled depression and addiction, and attempted suicide. Her arms remember razor blades, fifty scars that speak of self-inflicted wounds. Six hours after I meet her, she is feeling trapped, two groups of “friends” offering opposite ideas. Everyone is asleep. The sun is rising. She drinks long from a bottle of liquor, takes a razor blade from the table and locks herself in the bathroom. She cuts herself, using the blade to write “FUCK UP” large across her left forearm.

The nurse at the treatment center finds the wound several hours later. The center has no detox, names her too great a risk, and does not accept her. For the next five days, she is ours to love. We become her hospital and the possibility of healing fills our living room with life. It is unspoken and there are only a few of us, but we will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to meet her needs, to write love on her arms.

She is full of contrast, more alive and closer to death than anyone I’ve known, like a Johnny Cash song or some theatre star. She owns attitude and humor beyond her 19 years, and when she tells me her story, she is humble and quiet and kind, shaped by the pain of a hundred lifetimes. I sit privileged but breaking as she shares. Her life has been so dark yet there is some soft hope in her words, and on consecutive evenings, I watch the prettiest girls in the room tell her that she’s beautiful. I think it’s God reminding her.

I’ve never walked this road, but I decide that if we’re going to run a five-day rehab, it is going to be the coolest in the country. It is going to be rock and roll. We start with the basics; lots of fun, too much Starbucks and way too many cigarettes.

Thursday night she is in the balcony for Band Marino, Orlando’s finest. They are indie-folk-fabulous, a movement disguised as a circus. She loves them and she smiles when I point out the A&R man from Atlantic Europe, in town from London just to catch this show.

She is in good seats when the Magic beat the Sonics the next night, screaming like a lifelong fan with every Dwight Howard dunk. On the way home, we stop for more coffee and books, Blue Like Jazz and (Anne Lamott’s) Travelling Mercies.

On Saturday, the Taste of Chaos tour is in town and I’m not even sure we can get in, but doors do open and minutes after parking, we are on stage for Thrice, one of her favorite bands. She stands ten feet from the drummer, smiling constantly. It is a bright moment there in the music, as light and rain collide above the stage. It feels like healing. It is certainly hope.

Sunday night is church and many gather after the service to pray for Renee, this her last night before entering rehab. Some are strangers but all are friends tonight. The prayers move from broken to bold, all encouraging. We’re talking to God but I think as much, we’re talking to her, telling her she’s loved, saying she does not go alone. One among us knows her best. Ryan sits in the corner strumming an acoustic guitar, singing songs she’s inspired.

After church our house fills with friends, there for a few more moments before goodbye. Everyone has some gift for her, some note or hug or piece of encouragement. She pulls me aside and tells me she would like to give me something. I smile surprised, wondering what it could be. We walk through the crowded living room, to the garage and her stuff.

She hands me her last razor blade, tells me it is the one she used to cut her arm and her last lines of cocaine five nights before. She’s had it with her ever since, shares that tonight will be the hardest night and she shouldn’t have it. I hold it carefully, thank her and know instantly that this moment, this gift, will stay with me. It hits me to wonder if this great feeling is what Christ knows when we surrender our broken hearts, when we trade death for life.

As we arrive at the treatment center, she finishes: “The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope.”

I have watched life come back to her, and it has been a privilege. When our time with her began, someone suggested shifts but that is the language of business. Love is something better. I have been challenged and changed, reminded that love is that simple answer to so many of our hardest questions. Don Miller says we’re called to hold our hands against the wounds of a broken world, to stop the bleeding. I agree so greatly.

We often ask God to show up. We pray prayers of rescue. Perhaps God would ask us to be that rescue, to be His body, to move for things that matter. He is not invisible when we come alive. I might be simple but more and more, I believe God works in love, speaks in love, is revealed in our love. I have seen that this week and honestly, it has been simple: Take a broken girl, treat her like a famous princess, give her the best seats in the house. Buy her coffee and cigarettes for the coming down, books and bathroom things for the days ahead. Tell her something true when all she’s known are lies. Tell her God loves her. Tell her about forgiveness, the possibility of freedom, tell her she was made to dance in white dresses. All these things are true.

We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don’t get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won’t solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we’re called home.

I have learned so much in one week with one brave girl. She is alive now, in the patience and safety of rehab, covered in marks of madness but choosing to believe that God makes things new, that He meant hope and healing in the stars. She would ask you to remember.

Currently listening:
Nothing Left to Lose
By Mat Kearney
Release date: 18 April, 2006

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[copied from www.myspace.com/towriteloveonherarms blog]

Donald Miller, author of Blue Like Jazz and, more recently, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, has become a helpful voice to many within contemporary Christian writing. Miller is a writer of memoirs, “narratives composed of personal experience” according to Merriam-Webster. He works out what Frederick Buechner, one of my favorite authors, meant when he wrote:

It’s really very easy to be a writer—all you have to do is sit down at the typewriter and open a vein.

The challenges of writing about oneself can be difficult, though. You open yourself to the critique and the reality of narcissism.

Don Miller realizes this, however, and wrote an interesting piece recently called “Reflections on Endless Self-promotion.” He provides some honest confessions, justifications, and observations on writing about yourself in any form.

I think that Miller’s words are particularly insightful in our culture that is increasingly bent on authenticity, whether in person, in church, or online. Miller helps us get our hands around the realities, dangers, and benefits of such emphatic personal authenticity.

Colossians 1:22, “but now he has reconciled you by his physical body through death to present you holy, without blemish before him.”

Last weekend my wife and I attended a conference that her company hosted called Right Now. During this conference a slew of Christian Leaders (Kay Warren, Francis Chan, George Barna, Mark Batterson, Donald Miller, Matt Chandler, and more) spoke on trading in the pursuit of the American Dream for a world that desperately needs Christ.

I am so excited that my wife has this opportunity to be part of a cause that is truly meaningful to its core and relevant for today. With all the advancements in technology and the social improvements of our day, people still continue to suffer. Injustice, unrighteousness, and evil continue to be rampant in our time and culture. The American Dream is not so dreamy anymore.

Sadly, many of us have bought into the lie that the pursuit of wealth and materialism will bring fulfillment and happiness. While such things bring convenience and momentary pleasure, they are fleeting and do not have the power to replace the fulfillment that is brought by the Christ-given mission we are called to.

When we become a follower of Christ, we are becoming a part of something greater than ourselves. We must learn to look beyond our immediate gratifications and realize that we were reconciled to God so that we will one day be presented holy before God.

The Christian life is a holy life. It is living a life that is w-h-o-l-l-y different, a life that trades in the momentary and fleeting pursuits of this world in exchange for being on mission with Christ.

Another way of stating this is that we are made to trade. Jesus offers a Great Exchange where we die to our self in order to live for Christ. It is a world view that utilizes opportunity and resource for the use of building a Kingdom that fights against, and will one day destroy, injustice, unrighteousness, and evil.

The San Antonio Symphonic Band, conducted by UTSA professor Dr. Donald Miller, presents two special performances of “Across the Pond” on Saturday, November 14^th at 7:30 pm. and Sunday, November 15^th at 4:00 pm. at the Buena Vista Theater at UTSA’s Downtown Campus.

 “Across the Pond” is a free event and is open to the public. The concert includes pieces from England, Ireland, and Scotland, with compositions by R. Vaughan Williams, Gustav Holst and Percy Grainger, as well as a medley of Beatles tunes arranged by Michael Sweeney. The bagpipes of the Black Bexar Pipe Band will be a special highlight of the performances.

 The San Antonio Symphonic Band, formerly the San Antonio Municipal Band, is an all-volunteer, non-profit community organization. The band is 23 years old this year and is comprised of over 60 dedicated musicians from all across San Antonio, representing a diversity of ages, professions and interests.

The November 14^th and 15^th concerts will deliver an engaging and high quality musical experience to the audience and will appeal to people of all ages. “Across the Pond” is co-sponsored by the UTSA Music Department.

Sunday night, my friend Ryan and I drove to Fort Worth to hear Donald Miller speak on his book tour. First we stopped to see my family and grab the tickets (Thanks Mom!) then we were on our way. The old Methodist Church downtown was easy enough to find. The church was beautiful, Ryan bought a book, and we got great seats! We started off the night watching Susan Iscacs’ one woman performance to promote her book, “Angry Conversations with God.” She was hysterically funny. Her voices and impressions were great. I’m curious about her writing. If her personality and humor shines through her writing, I would be interested in giving her book a look.

Then Donald Miller. I have wanted to meet the Don I have read about for a long time. I used to make jokes that I was going to go to Portland to meet him. I would say that I was jealous of his writing, and I still admire his work a lot. He is funny and down to earth in a way so that everyone feels that they know him, without ever meeting him. His personality seeps out and rises up from the pages like aromas from the kitchen on Sunday afternoon.

He spoke about narrative. I think my life theme of the year is story. Don (can I call him Don as he calls himself?) was learning about how to set up a good story for a movie he was working on. In the process, he realized that what makes a good movie is not often what happens in day-to-day life. What is story, Don asks? A since making tool. In a story, there is a character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it. What of life do we remember? What is meaningful? The parts of our life that fit into a narrative. The Bible is a narrative, and is meant to be read as history and as a way to know Christ. Donald got a little controversial when he said that The Bible will not fulfill you, God will not fulfill you. The story of the Bible will not “fix” people. People will feel fulfilled and meaningful when they begin to live their story, when they are a character who wants something, faces conflict, and overcomes.

In Writing, Don points to the phrase, “show, don’t tell.” I have heard Dr. Shaver and other professors say this to me. Donald said this to the audience: the same is true in life- show, don’t tell. We have to DO something compelling and sacrifice things through conflict to live meaningfully. We have to want something great, something wonderful and meaningful and reaching and conflict has to happen. Since Sunday, I have thought a lot about what Donald Miller said about conflict. In the United States we think of conflict as bad, but Don says conflict is good. We grow through conflict, without conflict we would not feel meaningful. Victor Frankl says that when we can not find meaning, we numb ourselves with pleasure. I thought that was interesting. We do not live for pleasure, we live to make a difference. Just like Roger Rosenblatt said, we are narrative creatures.

Can’t wait to read the new book, “A million Miles in a Thousand Years.”

In his book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, Donald Miller talks about the idea that all of us are writing a story with our lives and that families write a story as a family. It got me to think about the story I am writing with Katie and the kids.

How do you know what story you are writing? Look at your bank account and calendar. What you spend your time doing is what you find important and what you find important is the story you are writing with your life. We can say that we find something valuable and important, but the truth, if we don’t put our time and money into that, it isn’t important.

I will hear people say, “I wanted to be at church” or “I want to give back to God” or “I wanted to go and serve” but and then they lay out why it didn’t happen. Here is what I know about our schedules. We all put into our schedules what is important. Whether that is work, our kids games, watching our favorite football team, date night with our spouse. We all do what matters to us. The question we have to ask is, “Am I spending my time doing the right stuff? Am I spending my money on what matters?”

As a dad, I’m starting to think about the story my family is writing. What will my kids look back on and remember? 20 years from now, what will Ava, Gavin and Ashton say was important to me, to us as a family? Will they say they were important? Will they say my job was more important than they were?

What about our money? Will they say we were generous or were we a greedy family? Did we have the attitude of servants or did we look for ways to take advantage of people?

What happens as kids grow, they know what story we are living (usually before we do) and they write that story with us. The story we write as a family, affects the story they write as kids and into adulthood.

So right now, what story are you writing? What story are you writing as a family?

I hope that when I’m gone my kids say the story I wrote said this:

• Serving God as a family, not my job
• Katie was more important than everything but God
• I was passionate about being a follower of Jesus
• That they mattered more than everything (3rd to Katie and God)
• My job came 4th
• That they would love God and his bride and still serve Him
• They would be more generous than I ever was

• I’d really like to read Donald Miller’s new book – A Million Miles in a Thousand Years
• I thought this was an interesting read on AIDS, morals and Africa – AIDS Relief and Moral Myopia
• One day I’d like to be as good as Kelly Smith – Birdy & Me
• Daily fashion fix – Sea of Shoes
• I’ve been blogging for 333 days today!
• Loving my growing collection of Rachael Yamagata – check out ‘Elephants’