Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell: Jess, Bend, Oregon, 2009

Photography by:  Jeff Sheng, Los Angeles

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell: Jess, Bend, Oregon, 2009 is a photograph by the award-winning Los Angeles photographer Jeff Sheng.  Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is his new photography project, which consists of a series of photographs of closeted men and women in the United States military. The photographs represent Sheng’s interest in the intersections between public and private spaces, and the government’s ever-intrusive policing of our most private spaces.

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What if on June 9, 2010, (6/9 for those who enjoy a naughty giggle), the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community stopped buying anything across the country?  What would happen to the American economy?

In very loose numbers, it is estimated that in 2006, $660 billion were spent by the LGBT community in 2006.  That number is expected to rise to $835 billion in 2011.  I’ve seen numbers that indicate as much as over two trillion dollars will be spent by the LGBT community in 2012.  Even if any of these numbers are off by a few billion, the numbers are truly staggering.

The LGBT community has the power to put a dent in our economy, and yet, we don’t know our own strength.  If we don’t know it, how can anyone else feel that power?

It makes sense to validate that most efficient force by damming up the economic river for just a moment in time. 

Here is the plan for June 9, 2010:

Every member of the LGBT and Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) communities will commit to:

1.  not purchase one item of food, clothing, equipment, or anything else on this day, including eating out or buying a cup of coffee;

2.  not buy or trade one stock or bond in any stock market in the world;

3.  withdraw 0.1% of your money from every account you own (e.g. If you have $1,000.00, you would withdraw $1.00 and if you have $100, you would withdraw $0.10);

4.  not donate one item to charity;

5.  not go to work or school for at least half a day;

6.  not use a computer or cell phone for one day;

7.  not use any electricity or gas that is not life-preserving;

8.  not drive anywhere in your automobile;

9.  do whatever else you feel is appropriate, healthy, and safe to make an economic statement about the strength of the LGBT community;

10. Finally, to make June 9 a day of silence to reflect the silence our country is asking us to provide regarding our needs, including equal access to marriage, health care, law, education, and employment. 

Be sure to contact your legislator by June 8 to advise them of your intentions. 

We have seven-and-a-half months to prepare.  In that time, we can clearly create the environment that well over half of our country wishes from us.  This will certainly let them know, “Watch what you wish for!”

What happens if the LGBT and PFLAG community disappeared and we took our money and expertise with us?  We’d have a pretty good idea about the impact of that situation, wouldn’t we?

If you’re interested in participating, please contact me on my Facebook page, June 9, 2010 – Invisible Gay Day.

Will Phillips, a 10-year-old in West Fork, Alabama, gives me hope that some of our kids are learning the critical thinking skills that are utterly key to the survival of American ideals as expressed in the Constitution. He’s refusing to say the Pledge of Allegiance because, as he told the Arkansas Times, “I’ve always tried to analyze things because I want to be lawyer. I really don’t feel that there’s currently liberty and justice for all.”

Will sees that homosexuals do not have “liberty and justice” because of the disastrous Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy, because of the Defense of Marriage Act, because of people like Rhode Island Gov. Don Carcieri, because of their inability to marry in the vast majority of states.

And he’s taken the most concrete action that a fifth-grader can against it, even in the face of juvenile and predictable peer pressure aimed at bringing him back in line with the ignorant masses. All at the tender age of 10.

You go, Will. I’m proud of you.

Man, this is why you dont fuck with the Twilight powers that be. You may end up like our girl Rachelle Lefevre. DO NOT CROSS THEM. 

After being told NOT to ask Rob about Kristen, what does Ryan Seacrest do? Uh huh…you guessed it. And then he paid the price, Rob was quickly ushered out by some woman who was NOT having it.

LOLz

Thanks Alexis Avenged!

While it is specifically the issue of same-sex marriage that is currently grabbing the headlines, each state (as well as the federal government) accords a different set of rights to homosexuals. There are ongoing battles over the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, over next-of-kin rights, over hospital visitation rights, and many others.

The LGBT community has won some battles via state legislatures, but have had much less success at the ballot box.

Should the state be allowed to deny gay couples the right to marry or should they be forced to grant it?
Does same-sex marriage harm or threaten any aspect of American society today?
Should LGBT applicants be allowed to serve in the armed forces?
What rights should be accorded to the LGBT community?

Over to you – and please remember our Rules of Engagement when debating!

New Left Media produced a short documentary on the last two days of the No on 1 campaign, and posted it in two parts on Youtube.  Worth a watch and it raises an issue that I’ve neglected to blog about  so far (among other things).  That is the proposed boycott of Organizing for America (formerly Obama for America) and the DNC.  The full info on the boycott, or “pause,” is at AMERICAblog.

Here is the long and short of the effort:

We are asking voters to pledge to withhold contributions to the Democratic National Committee, Organizing for America, and the Obama campaign until the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) is passed, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell (DADT) is repealed, and the so-called Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) is repealed -– all of which President Obama repeatedly promised to do if elected.

Here’s my take: I think the idea of pausing in our donations is a great one.  However, it does mean that we need to be more informed about the individuals to whom we should direct our donations (which we really should do anyway…).  People like Rep. Chellie Pingree Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand and Rep. Patrick Murphy who have been incredibly strong leaders and advocates for equality issues.  Groups like the Victory Fund can also help us identify these politician.  The key is that we keep giving in the mean time, just not through OFA or the DNC.

Do I agree with all the reasoning behind the fundraising “pause?”  No.  If you look back at my posts since I began blogging here, you’ll see that I disagreed pretty strongly with some of the complaints listed at AMERICAblog.  Given the extraordinary times we’re witnessing right now, I give Obama a bit more wiggle room than some.  However, the DNC and OFA have made some big faux pas.  ESPECIALLY their silence on Question 1.

The only other qualifier I’d add to my support for this “pause” is the point at which I’ll start donating again.  I’m on board until 2 of these three happen.  Again, these are all long overdue steps, but we live in extraordinary times.  One important step has already been taken in the signing of federal Hate Crimes Legislation, and I don’t think that should be overlooked.  I don’t consider this settling; I think it’s a sad reality and I recognize the huge strides that will have been made with the passage of any two of these.

You can sign up here.

Part 2:

Sunday, November 15, 2009

President Obama has moved immigration reform to the top of his to-do list and well before the all-important 2010 midterms.

The New York Times reports:

The Obama administration will insist on measures to give legal status to the estimated 12 million illegal immigrants as it pushes early next year for legislation to overhaul the immigration system, Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano said on Friday.

But our “fiercest advocate” and members of his administration are simply too busy to make the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and DOMA, top administration priorities.

The multi-tasking, globe-trotting Obama (he’s now in Asia), who seems to have trouble staying in Washington for more than 72 hours a stretch, just can’t find the time to insist that Congress send him bills to sign repealing DADT and DOMA.

In March, Secretary of Defense Robert Gates had this to say about repealing DADT:

Any change in the policy would require a change in the law. We will follow that law whatever it is. That dialog though has really not progressed very far at this point in the administration. I think the President and I feel like we’ve got a lot on our plates right now and let’s push that one down the road a little bit.

Frankly, Secretary Gates, I couldn’t care less how you “feel” about gay rights. LGBT equality isn’t something to push down the road like an Ford with a dead battery.

In September, Sen. Majority Whip Dick Durbin wimped out and told Politico:

“We have a very heavy, busy agenda and a few months left to do it. So it may not be now, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be soon. Absent a big push from the Pentagon and Obama, key Senate Democrats are signaling that there is little appetite to anger some of their more socially conservative voters at a time when election forecasters are signaling a tough 2010 election cycle for the party.”

Got it, Dick. The Democratic majorities in the House and the Senate wouldn’t want to risk angering rightwing loons like Reps. Michelle Bachman or Joe Wilson.

Sen. Majority Leader Harry Reid, who is up for reelection in 2010 and is facing a formidable Republican challenger, amplified pressure on the White House and the Pentagon to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” In letters to Obama and Gates dated Sept. 24th, the Nevada Democrat asked each to “bring to Congress your recommendations on DADT.”

Obama spokesman Robert Gibbs reiterated that the president wants to see the policy repealed, but has other legislative priorities that must be addressed first.

508 gay or lesbian servicemembers have been discharged under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” since President Obama was inaugurated on Jan. 20, 2009. More than 13,000 gay or lesbian servicemembers have been discharged since the policy was signed into law by former President Bill Clinton in 1993.

It’s taken for granted that if you’re in the military you have the courage and constitution to keep your presence of mind and self-control about you in the middle of a fire fight when people are lobbing mortars at you, firing fully automatic rifles at you and killing your best friends. If you’re in the military it’s taken for granted you can handle that shit and still function.

The “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy takes for granted that for all the bravery and constitution our military heroes possess, they don‘t have what it takes to be near a gay person without freaking out and completely fucking losing it. Does the government really believe soldiers are that weak? Because that’s what DADT insinuates.

 

When you look at it like that, “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is almost as insulting to heterosexual troops as it is to homosexual troops.

Why doesn’t alleged “Focus on the Family” focus on their own family and divorce!  They act like they own civil law!  Religion didn’t invent marriage, it’s a practice of civil law created by the Pagan people, not Christianity, Not Mormonism, and NOT Catholicism!  If they are so concerned about their religious Marriages, then they should take a better look at their HIGH RATE OF DIVORCE!

People should also understand that Civil Marriage is not Religious Marriage.  Religious institutions have a right to control their followers, but they DO NOT have a right to control the greater population, not even through votes rallied by their preachers to their followers telling them how to vote.

AMA opposes ‘don’t ask, don’t tell;’ says gay marriage bans contribute to health disparities

The American Medical Association on Tuesday voted to oppose the military’s ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy, and declared that gay marriage bans contribute to health disparities.

The nation’s largest doctors’ group stopped short of saying it would seek to overturn marriage bans, but its new stance angered conservative activists and provides a fresh boost to lobbying efforts by gay-rights advocates.

“It’s highly significant that the AMA as one of this country’s leading professional associations has taken a position on both of these issues,” said Rea Carey, executive director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, a Washington-based advocacy group.

The health disparities measure “in the long run, will certainly help efforts to win marriage equality,” Carey said.

Whether the AMA’s lobbying power will hasten efforts to overturn the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ law remains to be seen. President Barack Obama has said he is working with congressional leaders to end the policy, and the AMA’s stance will likely help, although gay rights issues have been upstaged by Obama’s health care overhaul battle.

The AMA’s vote took place at the group’s interim policy-making meeting in Houston, a day after AMA delegates voted to affirm their support for health reform.

The health disparities policy is based on evidence showing that married couples are more likely to have health insurance, and that the uninsured have a high risk for “living sicker and dying younger,” said Dr. Peter Carmel, an AMA board member. [read more]

The information coming out on the tragic shootings at Fort Hood are beginning to paint a portrait of a potentially dangerous man who was not adequately tagged and bagged as such by the military powers that be.   Which of course is allowing conservative pundits to have a field day making political hay out of carnage to justify every political bugaboo they’ve ever warned of about “political correctness” fostering a danger from within from America’s Muslim community.  One can only imagine how many military careers  now stand to be ruined as pressure builds to throw Muslim American military personnel out with Major Nidal Malik Hasan’s bloody bath water.

Pity the murderous major wasn’t gay.  If he had been he would have been given an express ride out of his man’s military, just like the over two dozen military Arabic translators mustered out for personal peccadilloes, critical  war skills or no, threat or no. 

Oh irony. How bitter is thy bite.

Check out this sweet new film by Lucas Martelli, "Pigeon Impossible."

And this one from Wong Fu Productions, "Hitting on Cathy."

News

• The President is deliberating on the options for Afghanistan.
• Poor nutrition is stunting growth in the developing world.
• The controversial "Don’t ask, don’t tell" policy is set to be repealed in the defense authorization bill.
• Taylor Swift cleans up at the CMA’s.
• Lou Dobbs, known for his anti-immigrant rhetoric (among other things), quits CNN.
• Fox News’ Sean Hannity apologizes to Jon Stewart for making stuff up … but not really.

Health care

• The Senate is slowly rumbling forward on health care reform (finally …).

Miscellaneous

• Stephen Colbert takes on Sesame Street’s conservative critics. Yeah, "Sesame Street’s conservative critics."
• Carrie Prejean sort of walks off Larry King … but not really.

An article about how Armistice Day turned into Veteran’s Day. And as I was clicking through a link to Doonesbury from @zephoria, the social media maven I follow on Twitter, I discovered that Doonesbury on Slate hosts The Sandbox, a milblog with posts from service members deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan. I’ve been reading and the posts are full of philosophy, practical advice, history, humanity, survival tips, Disney discounts, humility, bravery, isolation, comradeship…

I almost ended up in the military twice (although my mother and a buddy of mine in the ROTC program claimed I would have ended up out or in a military prison for insubordination.) In high school, I was interested in and recruited by Navy ROTC, but I didn’t know what I wanted to do for the four years of college and thought it a bad idea to commit to something for five years after that. And then when I got to Northwestern and saw the hours my buddy got up to do PT and drill team, I figured it had been a good decision.

After college, I didn’t have any grand plan, thought travel might be fun, and returned to the military thought. The Marines didn’t want me, not in shape enough, so they suggested the Air Force. The Air Force offered Monterey, foreign languages and adventures. But I was gay, no doubts or apologies, and I wanted to see if anything would develop with Gayle. I wasn’t going to lie. A buddy of mine had lived an entirely double life because the military was something he could not be separated from and gay was something he couldn’t get over — and there was the handy girlfriend who refused to notice. I watched him do it for four years of college and some years after and it was a terrible thing. We once had a half serious discussion about marriage so he would have a cover and I would have health insurance and could keep writing or whatever it was I wanted to do.

A friend from high school led the hidden life with separate mailing addresses. And I sat there in a military recruiter’s office, very curious but unwilling and unable to lie for opportunity.

Over the years, I have read so much about the treatment of women and gays in the military and sometimes I thought, perhaps my mother was right; I would have clocked the first person who yelled in my ear at 0 dark thirty or used a word I didn’t care to be referred to as.

“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was never a solution. The time has long passed for its reversal. The Advocate reports today, very fittingly, that the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is to be included in next year’s Department of Defense Authorization Bill. The Advocate has also been running excellent articles on gays in the military, their supporters, Congressman and Iraq veteran Patrick J. Murphy, and even one article with an undercover reporter trying to get the view of the average straight soldier in the PX.

So thanks to veterans everywhere for supporting freedom, this country and the Constitution. And I hope that one day soon, this will be a country where we really will be free, with equal rights for every citizen. And I can finally marry the woman I had hopes of getting to know better many years ago.

Editor’s Note: I could not have said this better …

Remembering Veterans by Working to Repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”
by Michael A. Jones

Despite the fact that gay marriage advocates lost a heartbreaking vote in Maine last week, there was one individual whose story emerged from the election that has managed to not only go viral throughout the Internet, but has captured the hearts and minds of equality advocates. That man is Philip Spooner, and he’s a World War II vet who talked publicly about what the idea of gay marriage and equal rights meant to him.

“A woman at my polling place asked me, ‘Do you believe in equality for gay and lesbian people?’” Spooner said. “I asked her, ‘What do you think our boys fought for at Omaha Beach?’ I haven’t seen so much blood and guts, so much suffering, much sacrifice. For what? For freedom and equality. These are the values that give America a great nation, one worth dying for.”

Spooner’s comments get at the heart of what Veterans Day — being celebrated today — is all about. Yes, it’s certainly about remembering fallen soldiers and those that served this country. But it’s also about the promise of equality and freedom, values that are supposed to apply to everyone in this country, regardless of sexual orientation.

It’s on that note that yesterday, the American Medical Association passed a resolution to become the latest professional organization calling for a repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” the discriminatory military policy that has to this date thrown out 13,000 soldiers from the U.S. military simply for being gay or lesbian.

Dr. Paul Wertsch, a Wisconsin doctor who wrote the resolution calling for a repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” said he did so because the currently policy forces doctors to lie.

“When a gay or lesbian soldier comes and talks to their doctor, psychiatrist, anyone…if it’s recorded in the record that the person is gay or lesbian, that’s basis for discharge,” Dr. Wertsch said. It forces a doctor to choose between being honest in the medical record, or hurting our country’s national security by aiding the dismissal of well-qualified soldiers from the military.

This Veterans Day, more people support a repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” than ever before. The wheels of overturning the policy through Congressional action, however, remain slow. Earlier this month, Sen. Dick Durbin hinted that a Congressional repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” won’t happen for at least another two years.

And now Rep. Barney Frank has said that it will at least be until next year’s Defense Department Budget Bill that a repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is debated. That means that instead of debating a standalone bill calling for an end to “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” a repeal measure would be attached to the larger defense spending bill for the 2011 fiscal year. It’s the same tactic that was used this year to pass inclusive hate crimes legislation that offered protections related to sexual orientation and gender identity.

Folks should be confident that a repeal measure of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” will pass. But folks are also allowed to be impatient with Congress and the Obama administration. While they wait to figure out the best legislative timing of repealing the ban on gays and lesbians in the military, more and more soldiers continue to be discharged for simply being who they are. That’s a thought not lost on veteran Derek Sparks, who was kicked out of the military for being gay.

“For me, Veterans Day is a day of pride. It’s also a day of rememberance of what Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell really is; a wasteful, discriminatory policy rooted in bigotry and hatred,” Sparks writes for the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network. “It’s time to end DADT, not for myself or the other GLBT veterans, but for the 65,000 GLBT active servicemembers protecting us today. It’s also for the new generation of servicemembers that want to serve, but will look the other way because of DADT.”
Sparks is right. And so is Philip Spooner. Veterans Day is a day to remember that we are called to be a better nation when it comes to equal rights in our military.

[Originally posted on Gay Rights at change.org]

- Mórmons apóiam lei que dá direitos a homossexuais. Embora a SUD não aprove o casamento gay, considero já um grande passo. Combater a discriminação é notícia boa sempre, ainda mais vindo de grupos religiosos.

- Report: Obama, Congress set DADT repeal strategy. Enfim o Obama está dando os primeiros passos rumo ao fim da política do Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

- Can a Boy Wear a Skirt to School? Ótimo artigo do The New York Times sobre o impasse atual das escolas americanas quanto à política do dresscode.

- Most Fashionable Women of 2009. Rachel Maddow é eleita pela ELLE Magazine uma das mulheres mais estilosas de 2009. Suspensórios e orgulho dyke. Go, go, Maddow!

Não exatamente LGBT (vamos fingir):

- Essa é só pra Takarazuka geeks como eu: Sena Jun fez sua última apresentação no Takarazuka Grand Theater. Na tradicional descida pela ‘Grand Staircase’, ela preferiu manter o smoking em vez de usar o uniforme do Takarazuka. “Eu queria descer a ‘Grand Staircase’ vestida assim; foi pra isso que eu trabalhei tanto pra ser uma top star.”

On this day when we honor veterans for their service to the constitution and to our republic, let’s remember to openly and unapologetically include Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered veterans as well.
It’s hard, especially when you’re a trained warrior, not to just come out firing indiscriminately from the hip. It’s even harder when you’ve been attacked so viciously so often and for so long. But with the skills to kill, I was also was trained to temper the use of force with a measure of good judgment. Those who oppose us, make of themselves easy targets by what they say. The temptation at times is at times overwhelming. In the wake of the tragic events at Fort Hood, let me hasten to say that I speak metaphorically of course. These days I fight with tools. But I still fight. Those who have placed themselves on the side of bigotry and discrimination have placed themselves on the wrong side of history. The words carved into the marble walls in Washington DC are not so much something to look back on as they are ideals that we should continually march toward. And we will march. Should I be struck down before we get there, another will close ranks and step into my place. And if he or she should be struck down, another will take her place. We will not quit. Ever. This nation is better than bigotry. Even now, as in times past, the subtle and not-so-subtle opponents of “liberty and justice for all” will wrap themselves in the flag. But when the chorus begins to sing and “The Star Spangled Banner” rings across the hills, a mighty wind of Truth will blow and Old Glory will be unfurled and they will be exposed for exactly what they are. And those who have exercised the power given them by the people to do such harm to millions of our citizens will have done it to the shame of their descendents. But we are not here today to talk about our enemies. We are here to honor our heroes.
I stand today to offer my humble gratitude to my fellow veterans, those who are still living and those who have passed on. I come in a spirit of celebration albeit solemn with the rest of you who believe that this is still the land of the free because of the brave.
I have had the great honor of knowing many veterans in my life. Even before I become on myself. The first was my grandfather, Shelton Williamson. He fought the Nazis in The Battle of the North Atlantic. (My family has a proud history of contempt for Fascism.) My grandfather didn’t speak much about his time at war, only that he was proud of his service. I asked him as many questions as he would answer. He’d cock his head to present his “good ear.” He’d lost the hearing in the other when a German shell exploded close to the ship he served aboard while he was standing on deck. He was a great man. He loved me unconditionally exactly as I was. I’m so grateful that I got to know my grandfather. So many grandchildren of WWII veterans were not as lucky.
Then there is my oldest living friend, Al Kramer, 95, also a WWII sailor- gay as a park full of balloons. In the great battles of the Pacific in often-horrible circumstances with limited resources, Al as a young Navy Corpsman put Marines back together as best he could. Al is so proud to have been part of the United States Navy. Marines and Navy Corpsmen have a special bond. Ask either if you ever doubt it. We spent hours, his sharing his stories with me. I’ll never forget his telling me about the saddest moment of his military career. As their ship returned to harbor in California, the man at end of the gang-plank stood with a clip board and was saying, “You sailors over here, you niggers over there.” You see, those black servicemen were sailors. They’d served bravely alongside the other sailors through great peril and, as Al put it, “They were returning home to a nation that treated them like they weren’t even American. Me too,” he said, “but at least I could try to hide what made me different.” I used to think of that as an asset, being able to “hide my difference,” Now I’m not so sure it’s not a liability.
When I deployed to Iraq, oddly one of my deepest concerns was for a good friend I was leaving behind in the States. I had befriended a Korean War veteran, a Marine and also gay who had fought at Chosin Reservoir. He was 74 at the time of my deployment. At “Frozen Chosin” as it is called, the Marines fought their way out when they were outnumbered by the Chinese 10 to 1 in temperatures 40 degrees below zero and wind up to 50 mph. I have never met anyone so proud to be a Marine as Eric was. Sergeant Eric Cavanaugh had asked my parents for their blessing for him to call me grandson as he had no blood family left and we had come to love each other like family. Of course they said yes. I have a tattoo on the underside of my left arm that reads “brother’s keeper.” When I got the tattoo, my Marine buddies went with me, sort of a ritual. We took Eric with us. He was part of our “band of brothers” too after all, even if across a generation. He was in a wheelchair and the small tattoo parlor was upstairs. There was no elevator. We hadn’t thought of that. My buddies just looked at each other, shrugged, and without any verbal communication about what had to be done, they placed themselves on the four corners of his wheelchair and lifted him up the stairs.
When I came home from Iraq, it became apparent that my concerns about Eric had been justified. He had “fallen among robbers and thieves” as they say and also had gotten very sick with Parkinson’s Disease. He could no longer live on his own. He came to live with me for the last year of his life, until, like the patriot he was, he died on the 4th of July, 2005. My Marine brothers who had served with me in Iraq, came to my side once again and performed full military honors at Eric’s funeral. Many times I had been part of those funeral details as I volunteered to blow Taps for veterans’ during my time in the Corps. I’d often heard those words when the tri-folded American flag was presented to the next of kin: “On behalf of the President of the Untied States, The Commandant of the Marine Corps and the people of a grateful nation, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation for your loved one’s service to country and corps.” I never thought I would be the one receiving the flag. But when it came time to present it at Eric’s funeral, my Marines marched up to me, because they knew. Love makes a family.
Those same Marines, along with soldiers, sailors and airmen were there on my wedding day, in dress uniforms. The Marines along with a Cavalry Soldier performed the traditional arch of swords. For those of you not familiar with the tradition, the newly married couple leaves the altar underneath the raised swords of the servicemen. The Marines have a tradition that the last man on what is usually the bride’s side, when she passes, pops her on the rear end with his sword and shouts, “Welcome aboard!” I wondered. But there was no way I was going to ask. Sure enough, when Adam got to the end of the line, Eric Estenzo, the man who saved my life in Iraq, popped my new husband on the ass and shouted “Welcome aboard!” Not that it matters, but Eric, like all my Marine buddies, is straight. Eric is one of my two closest friends in the Marine Corps. The other is Christopher Bliss. I spent hours in Iraq listening to how much he loved the girl he wanted to marry. He did marry her when we got back. It was the first Mormon wedding I’d ever been to. I’m pretty sure ours was the first gay wedding he’d ever been to. I could call him anytime day or night and he’d do anything he could to help me in any way. He also knows that that is a two-way arrangement. He represents the very best the LDS faith has to offer.
Yesterday was the Marine Corps’ 234th birthday and as it happens every year, birthday greetings were sent around among the Marines. I hear from men and women all over the United States and abroad. We exchange a few words and lament that we mostly don’t keep in touch the way we always swore we would. But the bond is still there. Now don’t take what I’m about to say the wrong way. The persecution of gay people in this country, to include Don’t Ask, Don’t tell is unequivocally wrong and we who fight against aren’t about to drop pack and cool our heels. But in some ways, in the mean time, it really doesn’t matter what Senator Butters and his ilk do to us. They can never, ever take away what my Marines have given me in the way of their trusting me and by their commitment to our common purpose, however that is expressed. And I have always been truthful with them about who I am.
When I got back from Iraq, I wrote a play based on my war journals. When I performed it here in Salt Lake, after a performance one night, a young woman stayed behind to say hello. She was the picture of fit, military good looks, a squared away recruiting poster in all respects. She too was an Iraq vet. I play Taps at the end of the play and she was still a little stunned and I could see the tear stains on her face. On another occasion I was honored to share a table with her at a fundraising dinner. That night she got to talk more about how much hearing my story meant to her. We shared stories about how psychologically torturous serving under Don’t Ask Don’t Tell can be, to have to speak of honor and honesty while being ordered to lie. We shared the painful stories of growing up in oppressive religious communities that did not understand or accept our sexuality. She talked of what the song Taps means to her and how impacted by it she had been when she saw my play. Ironically and tragically, I ended up playing Taps at her funeral. She’s one of the ones who didn’t make it. I can’t even call her name because, even in death, her family insists she was not gay. The way I came to play Taps for her was just too “happenstance” to be anything other than Divine Intervention. They may have stood and denied who she was over her lifeless body, but in the end she got her 6’5” queer Marine bugler.
Today I was invited to speak in the rotunda of the Utah State Capitol Building as part of ceremony to honor veterans. That was not the first time I’d been given the microphone in that building. During the last legislative session, I spoke on behalf of Senator McCoy’s bill, part of the Common Ground Initiative. After I pleaded with the committee to do the right thing, the Chair of that committee grinned at me like an old cat, thanked me for my service, and relegated me back to second-class citizenship. You know what? “Thank you for your service” means nothing to a veteran if it is to be followed by such blatant disrespect. Keep your “thank you for your service” until you are ready to back it up. If you want to thank me for my service, support the troops, all the troops, even after they become veterans.
So to all those Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered servicemembers who serve now and who have served since the Revolutionary War, who have given so much and in some cases given all, may I paraphrase those words so often spoken during Honors: On behalf of an ungrateful nation, I am so, so sorry. Thank you, thank you for your selfless service to our nation. We will not rest until you are honored in the honest way that you deserve. God Bless our Troops, our veterans and our great nation. God bless us all without exception.

CNN profiles Darren Manzella — who “saw two tours of duty in Iraq, first as a combat medic and later as a liaison officer” — as an illustration of just why Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell sucks.

Manzella talks about how his first tour in Iraq lead to greater self-awareness:

“After returning from my first deployment in Iraq, after seeing death and violence, losing friends and comrades, it really made me look over my life,” he said. “I looked at some issues I had always had trouble with. I had debated, ‘Am I gay?’ ” As he struggled with his sexual identity, Manzella began a relationship with a man.

Manzella was then subjected to harassing calls and emails from fellow soldiers. “Manzella says that the e-mails and calls went on for months and that after many sleepless nights, he decided to ask his supervisor for help.”  What happened?

By the next morning, Manzella’s supervisor had reported him as having broken the law under “don’t ask, don’t tell,” the 1993 policy that prohibits anyone who “demonstrate(s) a propensity or intent to engage in homosexual acts” from serving in the U.S. military.

Manzella said he was read his rights and told that he would be investigated, but that he could continue working. As the investigation proceeded, word spread that Manzella was gay.

“Ironically, it pulled the unit together. A lot of them started to invite me out,” Manzella said. “My co-worker was getting married; she told me that my boyfriend and I were invited to the wedding. It made me feel like I was more a part of the family.”

After a month, Manzella said he was told that no proof of homosexuality had been found and that the investigation was being closed, even though he told his supervisor about his lifestyle. Manzella was hopeful.

In 2006, Manzella’s unit was sent back to Iraq, and he served his 15-month deployment with his unit knowing he was gay.

“I could have pictures of my boyfriend out, I could talk freely on the phone without having to worry about someone overhearing me and reporting me,” he said.

After his return to the US in 2007, Manzella was interviewed on TV about what it was like to be gay in the military.  The military’s response?

“I was told I was going to be discharged under don’t ask, don’t tell,” he said. “Up until that point, I hadn’t heard anything. I had lived openly for nearly two years. I thought that was a huge step forward, that finally people were being recognized on their performance and how well they served their country and their comrades and peers.”

In June 2008, Manzella received an honorable discharge. His discharge papers read “homosexual conduct admission.”

You can see a video report about his story on CNN.com.

I wouldn’t want to get our gay servicemen and women in trouble by acknowledging them. They need to stay in the closet where Jesus and Uncle Sam put them. Remember…“don’t ask, don’t tell”.

It used to be “don’t show, don’t tell” because the gay men have a tendency to be showing their junk off all of the time and the lesbians were relentlessly flashing themselves. However, once that problem was eradicated, they went to the new phrase.

It is reported that about 13,000 gays have been kicked out of the military for, I assume, either asking or telling. I don’t know what they asked but it must have been bad to get booted. Maybe they said something like, “Do you want tossed salad with your meatloaf?” You know; something really offensive.

In an interesting development, the Mormon Church has beaten the US Government in accepting gays. They are supporting legislation in Utah that says that gays are essentially equal to non-gays and are entitled to similar protections. Of course, it goes without saying that this does not include marriage. They haven’t completely lost their minds.

So, the military remains one of the last true bastions for us hetero men. When I served some years ago, I could be confident that the other guys with me in the shower were just as manly as me. When we sang songs from A Chorus Line and soaped each others backs, it was in a really macho way. No queers here, thank you very much.

It is nice to know that there are still no gays in the military. How could we tolerate guys running around saying, “Want to polish my gun?” all day long? Or women wearing flannel instead of their required uniforms? Do you really want Clay Aiken leading the troops? I imagine his speech would not be quite Patton-esque.

 “When we land against the enemy, don’t forget to hit him and hit him hard. Of course, I don’t literally mean “hit him”. Use your words. Say mean things about the way their uniform fits or the way the colors clash. I know it will come across as bitchy but war is hell. When they try to surrender, don’t let them. Tell them that you have way too hectic of a schedule to take on visitors. Plus, where would we put them? I can barely fit all of my costumes uniforms in my tent as it is. I have a lot more stuff to say but these boots are absolutely killing me. Toodles!”

Thanks to all of our veterans for all you have done and will continue to do. We are proud of you…all of you.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

On this Veterans Day, it seemed like a perfect time to destroy one of the dumbest arguments used by people opposed to the repeal of the viciously homophobic, Clinton-era military policy of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”

“Unit cohesion,” as the argument goes, says members of the military might be uncomfortable serving alongside openly gay and lesbian servicemen and women, and that discomfort means a unit may not function as intended. It’s better, the argument goes, to exclude qualified, well-trained soldiers from service in the midst of two wars than to make homophobic soldiers feel ill at ease.

But the evidence to support repealing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” keeps growing:

A survey of troops who served in Iraq and Afghanistan concluded that having gay or lesbian soldiers in fighting units has no significant impact on unit cohesion or readiness.

The data raise new doubts about the underlying assumption of the congressional ban, namely that military discipline will fall apart if gays and lesbians are permitted to serve openly.

“Service members said the most important factors for unit cohesion and readiness were the quality of their officers, training, and equipment,” said Laura Miller, a military sociologist at the RAND Corporation, a private research group that has long advised the Pentagon, which conducted the study along with the University of Florida. “Serving with another service member who was gay or lesbian was not a significant factor that affected unit cohesion or readiness to fight.”

Three-quarters of the veterans surveyed said they felt “comfortable” or “very comfortable” in the presence of gays or lesbians, and nearly one in five said they already knew of a gay or lesbian member in their unit.

According to the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, 502 gay and lesbian soldiers have been kicked out of the military since President Obama was inaugurated on Jan. 20, 2009.

So, on this Veterans Day, I ask members of the Congress and President Obama, what are you waiting for? Repeal the ban — now.

SOURCE: Washington Monthly

"Ask What You Can Do For Your Country," Randy SOn of Robert, http://www.flickr.com/photos/randysonofrobert/2463004864/

Just in time for Veterans Day comes the question, are today’s military rank and file personnel resistant to serving with openly gay and lesbian colleagues?

A new study about the U.S. military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy questions the assumption that allowing openly gay and lesbian military personnel to serve in the U.S. armed forces could harm military readiness.

The study surveyed military personnel who had served in Iraq and Afghanistan and found that having a gay or lesbian colleagues in their unit had no significant impact on their unit’s cohesion or readiness. The study, by researchers from the RAND Corporation and the University of Florida, was published online by the journal Armed Forces and Society.

“Service members said the most important factors for unit cohesion and readiness were the quality of their officers, training and equipment,” said Laura Miller, study co-author and a sociologist at RAND, a nonprofit research organization. “Serving with another service member who was gay or lesbian was not a significant factor that affected unit cohesion or readiness to fight.”

Since the law prohibiting open service of gay and lesbian military personnel is based on the premise that open integration would harm cohesion and readiness, the findings suggest that the U.S. military should revisit the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” [DADT] policy, said Miller and study co-author Bonnie Moradi, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Florida.

The study found that just 40 percent of the military members surveyed expressed support for the policy, while 28 percent opposed it and 33 percent were neutral—less support than seen in previous surveys.

About 20 percent of those polled said they were aware of a gay or lesbian member in their unit, and about half of those said their presence was well known. In addition, three-quarters of those surveyed said they felt comfortable or very comfortable in the presence of gays or lesbians, according to the study.

The study, “Attitudes of Iraq and Afghanistan War Veterans Toward Gay and Lesbian Service Members,” will appear later in the print edition of Armed Forces and Society. The study was commissioned by the Palm Center at the University of California, Santa Barbara. Although RAND has done other research on this topic, this study was the product of a contract directly with the researchers and not through RAND…. [Source]

One caution I have, however: Data like this are important in showing the growing irrelevancy of DADT, and in chipping away at the reasons for it that are often given. But policy change of this nature should not be tied solely to popular opinion. Leadership must lead the way.

Which leads to my second question: did you know that women generally, and Black women in particular, are especially impacted by DADT?

African Americans are overrepresented in the U.S. military, especially in the Army. The percentage of African Americans in the military still exceeds that of the general population: around 17 percent in the military, versus 12.8 percent in the U.S. population.

We also know from the 2000 census data that an estimated 65,000 men and women in uniform are gay or lesbian and are serving on active duty and in the National Guard and Reserves, while there are at least one million gay veterans in the U.S.

Too often we think of these figures as mutually exclusive: to paraphrase Gloria Hull, “all the gays are white, all the blacks are straight, and where does that leave the brave?”

According to U.S. Census data, black women with same-sex partners serve in the military at 11 times the rate of women overall. And new pentagon data shows that while women make up approximately fifteen percent of the armed forces, they account for nearly half of all “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT) discharges from the Army and Air Force. Pentagon data show that African American women are discharged under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” at three times the rate that they serve in the military….[Source]

The recent tragedy at Ft. Hood brings up another important question for me: If a soldier sees an Army psychologist or psychiatrist regarding mental health concerns related to her or him being lesbian or gay, or otherwise through treatment discloses this orientation, will the service member receive confidential treatment? A recent article in the American Psychological Association’s magazine for graduate students addresses this dilemma as part of a discussion on the pros and cons of a military career:

Another tension raised by students is potential conflicts between military orders and psychological ethics, says Lt. Nicholas Guzman, who is completing an internship at National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, Md. After a presentation he made to students, several wanted to know if, as an officer, he’d be required to report a disclosure of homosexuality made by a patient. Guzman says psychology’s ethical code compels him to keep such disclosures confidential. Yeaw emphasizes that military psychologists adhere to their state’s licensing regulations and regularly consult with APA’s Ethics Office on questions of confidentiality and privacy.

“As a psychologist, you’re not put in a position where you have to break someone’s confidentiality because of orientation,” he says.

Finally in an only marginally related matter, my daughter gave a phenomenal performance as the narrator in the elementary school’s Veterans’ Day play. Her main fear prior to her performance was that she would pronounce Corps like the rotting thing that rises from the dead on Halloween instead of like the group of Marine troops. She successfully did the latter. Could her mother be prouder?

By LINDSEY TANNER (AP)

CHICAGO — The American Medical Association on Tuesday voted to oppose the military’s ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy, and declared that gay marriage bans contribute to health disparities.

The nation’s largest doctors’ group stopped short of saying it would seek to overturn marriage bans, but its new stance angered conservative activists and provides a fresh boost to lobbying efforts by gay-rights advocates.

“It’s highly significant that the AMA as one of this country’s leading professional associations has taken a position on both of these issues,” said Rea Carey, executive director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, a Washington-based advocacy group.

The health disparities measure “in the long run, will certainly help efforts to win marriage equality,” Carey said.

Whether the AMA’s lobbying power will hasten efforts to overturn the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ law remains to be seen. President Barack Obama has said he is working with congressional leaders to end the policy, and the AMA’s stance will likely help, although gay rights issues have been upstaged by Obama’s health care overhaul battle.

The AMA’s vote took place at the group’s interim policy-making meeting in Houston, a day after AMA delegates voted to affirm their support for health reform.

The health disparities policy is based on evidence showing that married couples are more likely to have health insurance, and that the uninsured have a high risk for “living sicker and dying younger,” said Dr. Peter Carmel, an AMA board member.

Full article here.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

This caught me off guard. The American Medical Association proved to be ahead of President Obama and the U.S. Congress by agreeing to join efforts to repeal the viciously homophobic, Clinton-era military policy of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.’

In a surprise move, the Chicago-based AMA also voted to declare that gay marriage bans contribute to health disparities for gay couples and their children.

The nation’s largest doctors’ group adopted both gay-rights policies at its interim policy meeting Tuesday in Houston.

The AMA says the ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy creates an ethical dilemma for gay and lesbian service members, as well as the doctors who treat them.

The other measure declares that marriage bans leave gays vulnerable to being excluded from health care benefits, including health insurance and family and medical leave rights. The new AMA policy stops short of opposing the bans.