• Pre-nuptial Photographer : Cris Biala
• Design, Concept and Post Processing : Lester Ang

喜喜 or “shuang xi” in chinese is most often, if not, always used in typical chinese weddings.  It announces the joy and happiness of the union of two people in marriage.

This is our backdrop for the wedding, manipulated in Adobe Photoshop and printed on a 4′ x 5′ canvas.

I’ve got THREE sets of invitations! (And you wonder why we always run out of money.)

We’ve got the ROM invitations which are for the 80 pax registration cum tea ceremony for the groom’s side here in Singapore. And those are a romantic cream & lavender with periwinkle accents.

We’ve got our wedding invitations for the ceremony in the morning followed by a brunch reception. And these are ruby & cream with the whole LOTR/Narnia references. There are inserts in these invitations specifically detailing the dinner reception as well, since the same people invited to the morning ceremony will be invited to the evening one too!

And lastly, we’ve got the Chinese banquet invitations which a bilingual and are given to guests who are invited to the dinner only! My Momzilla picked the design, which is quite traditional. I love it, precisely because it’s so very different from my usual style, and thus has a certain traditional charm to it all. It is a shimmery cream cardstock with two sides printed and inserted into a bright red cover (that’s not the envelope; there’s a separate red envelope with a ‘Double Happiness’ gold stamp at the top that comes with this.) It’s just one long rectangle, not a fold-over or bi-fold invitation. The print looks like a bi-fold invitation but it’s really just how the printer set it up to show us:

Now the real thing is a lot prettier, because you can see the shimmer & all!

This was a draft we later modified a little, since this bridezilla’s eagle eyes spotted subtle mistakes! Here’s a useful tip for the day: Proof-read, proof-read, proof-read!!!

Everything was almost perfect. Almost. Other than the fact that the groom got barred from flying here due to a passport with less than 6 months validity. 

In retrospect, I’m quite relieved that it happened when it did, actually. If it hadn’t this trip, we would never have suspected he might’ve been barred from flying due to the passport issue. Can you imagine if this had happened just prior to him flying to KK for our wedding???!! 

Just for kicks, Mom & I discussed this hypothetical scenario. We both took a minute to imagine the logistics horror, dozens of overseas guests flying in for the wedding, etc. And Mom concluded that the show must go on, and if that little scenario were to happen for real, I’ll just have to say my vows to a giant portrait of Mr. Panda! *LOL*

Thankfully that won’t be the case now, since Mr. Panda will be renewing his passport pronto by Monday! Crisis averted!

The day started with food-tasting at the Shangri-La…the set-up, flowers & menu are all the exact one-table replica of what the banquet set-up will look like on that day. And I was very pleased to see the results:

I think my only comment about the set-up was for the flowers to be more amped up. They look a bit sparse as is, but even then, still quite clean & elegant.

My elegant almost 60 year old Mom-zilla studying the menu. Not a trace of makeup on her & no surgical enhancements! Good genes! She stole my favourite pearl & gold dangling earrings by Andria W.

Liz K, my lovely friend who’ll be floor manager at the ceremony, making a funny face!

The little menu card. Simple & elegant works for me!

What the inside of the menu says!

Basket of goodies from ‘Loving You’ at City Mall. They pack everything you need in the most gorgeous old-fashioned Chinese basket. Oranges with ‘Double Happiness stickers, the long red cloth for both the groom’s door & the bride’s door, ‘xi tang’ (Double Happiness sweets) and all kinds of quaint stuff! Worth every cent.

The guodali stuff on the formal dining table. We have the double happiness ‘tong yuan’ bowl & spoon set for eating glutinous balls. Tea set. Peng Kam (bride price or dowry given by groom’s family, or in our case, the groom). Gold jewellery gift set given by the groom. Guo da li basket containing all the necessary including ‘double happiness sweets’ (‘xi bing’ or ‘xi tang’), red cloth for the bride & groom’s front doors respectively, oranges stuck with ‘double happiness’ stickers, etc. All packed by the wonderful people at ‘Loving You’ a shop in City Mall, Kota Kinabalu.

Diamond & rose gold set. Pictures don’t show them to their best, but I love them to bits. Well, I should because Mr. Panda may have paid for them, but I picked them! Good set for evening wear.

Here’s another look!

I just HAVE to point out how adorable the sweets are! Check out the detail!

All in all I had a blast with the relatives during my guo da li. Mr. Panda was completely bemused of course. (“I can’t believe you did this without me! How??!”) *shrugs* Bridezillas are practical creatures. We like to do things our way, but if we can’t then we roll with the situation & make do. Poor Mr. Panda missed out this time, but I’m sure he’ll survive. (Guy spent the entire long weekend playing computer games, eating junkfood & hanging out with the dog. I’m sure he didn’t mourn for too long.)

A surprising boon for the guo da li! The peng kam was presented to Mom. And I told her she didn’t have to return anything it was for her. But then she gave me half of the money. Then she disappeared and gave me an additional angpow, just for me, to cover my expenses. Isn’t that just so generous & sweet of her? Not customary, this one. Just pure love. So when I say I’m a lucky Princess Panda, I so am, in more ways than one. I may not have a lot of money, but I surely am rich in love.

More posts later!

Happy 2010. Happy New Year. Year of the Tiger

By poetryman69

Healing Rainbow

Getting Lucky

Healing Stones.  Green Chakras

Auspicious

Good Luck Charm

Joy.

Joy in Abundance.

Love.

Love in Abundance.

Luck.

Good Fortune in Abundance.

You can’t say Abundance without Dance.

Love.

Dreams of Stone Angels

Cyber Rainbow

Auspicious, Propitious, Well Favored

By poetryman69

Let us delve into theory of luck on the off chance that luck does indeed favor the prepared observer. First, lets look at lucky symbols:

Chinese Good Luck Symbols

By any other name: Good luck in many languages

Greetings and Good luck

Good Luck Boutique

Cool book title: Joyful Path of Good Fortune

The possible history of Fortune Cookies

Getting Lucky with Feng Shui

Lucky Kitty!

---

Poetry Book:

1. Angel Sightings
2. Poetry
3. Love Poems(EBook)

---

So I’m packing to go back for Christmas with Mr. Panda because that’s when we’ll have our Guodali ceremony. Mr. Panda had to amble reluctantly over to the bank yesterday to draw out what would make up the ‘pengkam’ or bride price for the guodali. En route I gave a briefing about what he has to do & say based on my severely limited knowledge. Basically the spiel involved a lot of compliments, ‘thank-yous’, ego-massaging & smoothing of my octogenarian grandma’s spry feathers. If only the role called for kungfu fighting.

Mr. Panda showing his moves.

Unfortunately, only cash would do in this situation.

So basically we put together a collection of brand-new dollar notes hot off the press, in denominations ending with the number ‘9′, which is particularly auspicious for weddings because it sounds like ‘a long time’ or ‘infinity.’ So for example, if you’ve got cash to burn, you’d put SGD9,999,999.99 in the special red ‘pengkam’ packet called ‘pin jin dai’ in Mandarin (pengkam pocket). If you’re on the other end of the scale you could put SGD 999.99 (which is basically a thousand smackeroos) or SGD9,999.99 which would be roughly SGD10k, or even SGD2,999.99 which is SGD3k less 1 cent. Basically any amount you & your bride’s family are comfortable with giving, as long as it ends with a ‘9′ at the back or in some cases ‘8′ (which sounds like ‘prosperity’ in Chinese.) Mr. Panda once made the mistake of asking me whether it meant he can technically give SGD9.99 for me. I told him that he can get himself a bride that commensurates with that amount; probably someone like this:

He never asked that question again.

Anyway, back to the ‘peng kam’ (in Cantonese) or ‘pin jin’ (in Mandarin).

Here’s a shot of what our ‘pin jin dai’ looks like. It’s a large red pocket made of satin with auspicious characters in front, and in the satin pocket you’ll find a standard red packet made of paper.

Here’s the front:

And this is the back:

And here it is with the inside packet laid out next to it:

I have a really nice shot of the newly minted cash all spread out in a fan next to this ‘pin jin dai’ but thought it would be too crass to publish it, so you’ll just have to use your imagination!

The rest of the guodali goodies I’ll have to get from Sabah. Oranges with the double happiness stickers on them, wine (duty-free at Changi!), and gold jewelry (I brought it back to Sabah the last trip so I’ll just have to take them out of the vault & arrange them nicely), traditional sweets & complete guodali basket (all of which will be prepared by “Loving You” a store specializing in Chinese wedding stuff in City Mall, Kota Kinabalu.) Will take photos of the basket & blog about it when I come back from this trip!

Looks like we’re a heck of a lot poorer but all prepared now for the ceremony! Stay tuned.

Ooooooh…am a sick Princess Panda today!

Sore throat, sniffles & sneezles, joint pain & stuffy head, the works.

BUT!

There’s no dampening my spirits here. Six weeks to becoming a Mrs! (Actually, five if you want to be technical, since my ROM is in exactly 5 weeks). I feel like I should be doing something profound & zen at this point, reflecting on my past, designing my future with Bridezillian precision, etc. but I’m too excited for that crap! Am doing the happy dance every other day now.

Seriously, Mr. Panda is everything I want in a husband, and that little bit extra too. He’s just a bit…supersized. But that can be a brilliant thing too, because during the coming Apocalypse, one big toe of his could sustain an entire village of starving children. He’s always joking that our Yeti will be his emergency meal (she probably thinks the same of him, it’s just that her English ain’t that good) but little does he know that he is MY emergency meal! *evil chuckle*

But enough about eating…six weeks to go and I’m no where NEAR touching my weight-loss goals, and the heck of it is I don’t really care. I feel radiant enough to light up an entire city, so happy am I. Come D-Day, I will be the loveliest woman in the room, just because I feel lovely, loving & dearly loved. And this is what being with the right person will do to you; sparks will shoot out of your fingertips, your feet will feel like they are shod in puffy clouds, your eyeballs get replaced with twinkling little hearts, and the back of your molars can be seen at least 12 hours a day because you are smiling so hard.  

And aha! Six weeks to D-Day & five weeks to ROM also means it’s just over a week to my ‘Guo Da Li’! All preparations are in order including the set of diamond & rose gold jewellery Mr. Panda got for me. Actually, he just gave me the money, I picked everything out myself, and this was done about four months back during a sale & at a time when the gold price was quite low. So I’m pretty chuffed about it. The only thing left undone is the ‘Xi Bing’ (‘Double Happiness Cakes’) or wedding announcement cakes the guy’s family is supposed to bring to the girl’s family in order for them to send it around to their relatives as a wedding announcement (“Oiii!! My daughter found a buyer!! Here, have a swiss roll!!”) Some people just stick a red ‘Double Happiness sticker’ on a plain marble cake & that’ll do.

The problem is, my Mom requested 20 to 30 boxes. *gulp* Mr. Panda is a blur buffalo about these things & his parents live in New Zealand, AND they’re quite westernised too. Which leaves this Bridezilla to handle all them cakes that noone will eat anyway because everyone’s on a diet so they look good on D-Day. Now I don’t mind getting the cakes, but HOW do I bring 20-30 boxes of ‘Xi Bing’ on an airplane??!

We arrive Sabah Christmas Eve. The ‘Guo Da Li’ is on Christmas Day. Between our arrival & the big day, there’s no time to source the cakes locally. And gosh, getting them on board an airplane & hand-carrying them would be an impossible feat!

If we didn’t have to contend with air-travel, I’d for sure have gone for the special cakes from Sweetest Moments. They are SOOOOOO cute! They come in personalized ‘Double Happiness’ or the more modern type of boxes, and you get to have your picture on a personalised wedding announcement card as well!

Check these out:

Aren’t they darling? And for about SGD8.90 per box only too!

Alas, for this Bridezilla, I’ll just have to think about getting the pound or round cakes locally in Sabah, and then tying them with a roll of ‘Double Happiness’ ribbon like in the picture below, and stick a ‘double happiness’ sticker on top of the box or something.

Necessity, they say, is the mother of invention.

Going to have a lie-down now. *ahchoo* Be posting more later. Ciao!

While on tour, I made a two terribly exciting acquisitions.

What follows may scare some unworldly (and likely self-loathing) people, but I’m thrilled to look once more upon their glory, particularly as they have travelled thousands of miles to once more revisit me with their fantastical romanticality. I thought they were gone forever and I’d never love again.

Picture it.

I was perusing the racks of a more-discount-than-discount Salvation Army-style thrift store in Edmonton, Alberta. Wading, fly-fishing-style, through the most unfashionable clothes I’d perhaps ever been forced to witness and yet, in complete and utter rebellion, my eyes refused to close. It was as though incredulously, inexplicably and hideously in want of more offensive viewing material they had, Clockwork Orange-style, propped themselves open to absorb the store in its entirety as I passed the racks of deformed and oddly-altered Swiss Dot dresses mashed awkwardly next to men’s XL Michael Jackson zippered leather jackets in “mustard”. I’d like to say that I can never again listen to Beethoven, but Lisa Loeb was playing on the radio, so it will have to suffice as an equal suffering.

I felt a peculiar little chill, as though some critically gorgeous and pompously ignored ex-fiancé had walked past me, while I, absorbed in the International Art Weekly on the terrace of Le Raphaël, never realized his presence, but at the same time recalled the strange sensation of being desired beyond desire. (I find out later, as I’m called to him on his deathbed, that it happened. A flurried montage of The Things That Never Were plays throughout the scene as he dies, my poker face never revealing any of my deep remorse, until he croaks, dead. I close his eyes with a gloved hand and cry a single tear. His avocat emerges from his hiding-place behind a curtain, and, touched at having seem me subtly mourn the loss of the man I’ve ignored most, tells me I have been left a massive fortune. The rest of the fantasy involves selecting brightly colored silks as I’ve not been one to mourn him in life and I shan’t do it in death. I become a scarlet-lettered recluse that writes several novels and dies in front of an ornate fireplace, the only lighting in a palatial estate that’s never been used for a party. I’m clutching his portrait in a small, always concealed locket. The papers attempt to publicize the dramatic tale, but the now-ancient avocat hushes it up and it becomes a tragic legend of romantic fantasy. It’s all very Jane Eyre/Pride and Prejudice, but set in France.)

I digress.

There they were. Like glorious beacons emitting a rainbow pulse of “I’ll be there for you” from atop jagged cliffs for a wayward seafarer, they drew me in and we became one. Their cold ceramic white-on-whiteness seemed to have a twin language, a co-conspiratorial smirk, a BFF’s club I was now invited to be a part of. I grabbed them overeagerly, and immediately bitterly cursed myself. What if I’d just made the ultimate thrift-store faux pas in letting them know they had accidentally thrown the Hope Diamond in with a batch of dirty Shriner’s Fezzes and an inconceivable mass of costume jewelry and seashell necklaces? I’m not used to such postured pokerfacing before purchasing the Mona Lisa. I checked myself, took a breath and selected a few other trinkets so as to throw them off the scent. A hideous checked blazer, which will indubitably be worn now due to the sheer proximity of fabulousness. A key ring from a local production of The Phantom Of The Opera.

My heart pounding, I turned the corner through the disheveled racks and came upon the cashier, who seemed to have a knowing look in his eye. (In actual fact, I am BEYOND embellishing this. He looked more like a character out of GUESS WHO?, bald and bespectacled with round rosy-cheeks, and likely any suspicion was more likely in a “you’re not from these parts… I wonder if there’ll be Sloppy Joes for dinner at Rosie’s tonight” kind of way.) I placed my items on the counter in a manner I hoped would be perceived as casual, and, drifting vocally between pretentious and blasé, asked the price as though I was used to purchasing full length Chanel ball gowns as a weekend ritual.

He did a quick tally and picked up my cold ceramic beauties, flipped them upside down and searched for a nonexistant price sticker. My stomach lurched as the clear packing tape keeping them together buckled under the strain of being touched by the unworthy.

“I dunno, I guess two dollars?”

I shakily pulled out my wallet and hand over the cash, trying not to explode in garish glee as I silently rejoiced in my win.

We exit the store. Me, a checked blazer, a keyring, and two large white ceramic UNICORN HEADS.

FIN

Aha! I know some of you have been waiting for this coveted list which should be in the planner of every Asian bridezilla! Truthfully without this list, you wouldn’t be able to get an accurate figure for your total REQUIRED output in the “Expenses” section of your budget list!

As y’all may know, you can’t run away from giving ang pow (or ‘hong bao’, ‘lai see’, ‘ang bao’, ‘red packet’, depending on your dialect group) during a Chinese wedding, regardless of whether you’re a guest, close relative or the newly-wedded couple! Unless of course, you’re underaged or a paid vendor/service provider. This is a practical requirement since it’ll help with the cash deficit situation the young couple would sure to be in (there is another reason why we love to wear red at a Chinese wedding besides the usual auspicious reasons…because by then we’re usually literally in the red, cash-wise ) Now you may ask why the wedded couple have to give angpows also; it’s to signify their new status as ‘adults’, and that’s why we only give to helpers and close relatives who are younger in age than we are. And if we’re lucky, it’ll all balance out!

I’ve done extensive research (internet, books, articles) and conducted various interviews (with elderly relatives, wedding consultants, former brides & their mothers, etc.) and applied my own inimitable Bridezilla observational skills in this matter, so I feel quite qualified to come up with this list to help all of you bridezillas out there, who’re as clueless as I once was! Now this list may not be exhaustive, in which case please feel free to add/amend/modify as necessary. It may not be accurate for your particular circumstances also, since there may be slight differences depending on dialect group and how faithfully you want to adhere to the customs. It also does not include the cash output required for the ‘Guo Da Li’ segment of a Chinese wedding, which you’ll have to check out in another post. Strictly actual day angpow only.

So with all the disclaimers done, and without further ado, let me now present….

The Ang Pow List for the Chinese Wedding Couple

You will need to give angpow to:

(1)   The Celebrant

(2)  The Master of Ceremonies

(3)  Helpers at the Reception / Sign in Table x 2 (or however many helpers you have)

(4)   Younger siblings 

(5)  Younger extended relatives like cousins, nephews & nieces

(6)   Tea-lady who’s helping with the tea ceremony (both groom’s side & bride’s side which means TWO angpows!)

(7)   Assistant tea-lady, usually a young girl helping the tea-lady to wash the cups & replace them during the tea-ceremony

(8)   Assistant helping the bride to put on her jewellery that was given during tea ceremony. If she’s a bridesmaid you may choose to give it in one lump sum later on.

(9)   Bridesmaids

(10)   ‘Jie-Meis’ or ’sisters’ who usually congregate in the bride’s house during the siege. They are not bridesmaids.

(11)   Umbrella-woman; she holds the red umbrella over your head on your wedding day

(12)  Young boy who opens the car-door; usually the youngest male relative of the bride

(13)  The ‘Ah Yees’ (‘Aunties’) & ushers who are usually people helping out at reception

(14)  Choir or music ministry people helping out in the worship team if it’s a Christian wedding

 (15) Flowergirls & ring-bearer

 (16)  Pastor, if it’s a Christian wedding

 (17)  Haircombing woman; she’s a lucky lady chosen to comb the bride’s hair before ’shang tou’.

(18)  Groomsmen & best man

(19) ‘Heng Dai’ or ‘brothers’; the contingent of sweaty males accompanying the groom to the bride’s house

(20)   The ‘An Chuang’ lady who sets the marital bed for you

(21)   The little boy who jumps on the bed

(22)  At least 20 angpows with at least SGD10 or SGD20 in each one for the miscellaneous needs you may have overlooked. NEVER be caught short! These are what I’d call ‘the Emergency Angpow Stash’!

(23)  ‘Milk Money’ or ‘Nappy Money’; this is a small angpow to be given to the parents of the bride on the morning the groom picks her up, and it’s completely separate from the ‘peng kam’ (dowry or bride price) cash given during the ‘Guo Da Li’. It’s kind of a courtesy thing; that the groom leaves something behind on the morning he picks up his bride.

I think that covers just about everything! Helpful, much?

*clicks heels & flies away home*

my new tattoo

And there it goes… still looking for happiness. Did you know that I very well define LONELINESS than happiness? Every letter it consist are very well clear for me +_+. Thats why I decide to put a tattoo on my right hand. A chinese character w/c means double happiness. For I will be reminded that happiness exist Well, so idiot of me to do that. But now its in my wrist & I feel good- really! I feel so relieved. How many times did I glanced in it today? And all my worries are gone. True.. so true.

My tattoo rocks!

The sun is just rising here in the Southwest. The cars are buzzing by and the chirping from birds are more evident. There is a coolness to the morning’s air, and today feels calm and peaceful with not another soul awake in my home.

Something I am looking forward to is going to the art studio today, so that I can work out some of this pent up energy in my body. What I hope to do is work on some sculptures and finish off a mirror mosaic I am gifting to someone near and dear to me. I love going to the art studio. Using my hands to make something out of nothing brings a sense of calmness over me. It is satisfying, to say the least.

The idea of love has been on my mind in dreams. I woke up this morning from dreaming about telling my son’s father I loved him while on the phone while our son was present. My son was saying, “Do you love Daddy, too, Mommy?” And, there the words came out of my mouth, “I do love your Daddy.”  In many ways, it is true that I love him still.

After reading a blog three nights ago about how women can act towards men, I was left with many questions buzzing around my brain rehashing yesterday over and over. Yes, it could be my OCD coming out, but the way we treat another is something hard not to remember…at least not for me. I am guessing that my loving my son’s father came out in my dream because I have been concerned about my actions towards him. I was wondering if I were less than nice with him. Maybe even a little down right mean. This is a hard thing to swallow. I am learning what a person does to another has no bearing on the actions we choose to take against another in spite of whatever comes, good or bad.

Written or spoken, words are continuously propelling us through life. They lift us up, drag us down, wound us deeply or heal our hearts. Words have the power to break confidences, build life long friends, and reach the depths of one’s soul.

I don’t want to leave on someone else’s mind forever how I was mean; instead, I want them to remember the fullness of my love and ability to love in spite of whatever happened. I have been given this chance to live today, ask forgiveness for things I had done and forgive myself, and choose to act out of the love I have been so freely given. I have a choice. I see it.

Let the last words I utter echoe the love I choose, and may it bring some form of happiness to the one that remembers. As someone once told me, character is the capital of life.

I’m totally chuffed about the ‘Guo Da Li‘! We’d already decided earlier that the most auspicious date in our calendar would be Christmas Day which would be almost exactly a month to our wedding. 

Well apparently, Mom went to check the Chinese calendar on the date as well. And guess what? It was also an auspicious date for ‘guo da li’ according to the Chinese calendar! Hallelujah!

Mom & I discussed the ‘jia zhuang’ or dowry which we’ll have to return to the guy’s side when he brings the gifts of jewelry, food and cash. The usual stuff would be silk slippers, baby potties, red bath tubs & stuff. Not very practical for us, considering the space constraint! What will I do with a whole bunch of red plastic-ware in our severely space deficient condo?? So Mom said to pick practical stuff instead, like 500 threadcount bedsheets, thick fluffy white towels, elegant chinaware, etc. And not necessarily all in red; we just stick the ‘double happiness’ stickers onto the white sheets and towels and call it a day.

Bridezilla tip: Modify tradition to suit your situation. The ‘jia zhuang’ traditionally consisted of things that would help the married couple in their new life together. And so, wouldn’t it make sense to make the ‘jia zhuang’ lifestyle-specific instead of gripping squarely to the old ways?

Speaking of Chinese tradition, I came across the most darling tea-set at the Chinese wedding store in City Mall. I know I bought the Peranakan tea-set for the tea ceremony really early on, and that’s super-special. But then there’s this other one, and heck, I just can’t make up my mind now!

So which one is nicer?

The white and red tea-set with cut-out double happiness motif?

Or…

The sweet Peranakan tea-set in traditional pink, and turquoise green?

And here they are side by side:

And once more with flash!

So now combined with the tea-set I bought in Singapore and which I love, I have THREE tea-sets! That’s one too many!

I love all three, but I think it would be better if I kept just two sets. It means I have to give one of my babies away. That makes me happy still, because I know just the person to give it to. She’s just like my own sister to me. So it really would be giving from the right hand to the left, no?

The annoying thing about Babyduck is that she’s always two steps ahead. I bought a garter for her, and found her she’d already bought one! Haizzz… I hope she doesn’t have a tea-set yet!

After all that ranting, moaning and obsessing about wedding kwas (or “qun kwa”) and all things pertaining to Chinese weddings, I wanted to share where I finally got my kwa from!

House of Etiquette is located at the Paramount Shopping Centre opposite Katong Shopping Centre, in Singapore.

They have all kinds of goodies in red, gold, and, err…red. So make this your first stop if you need to get anything for your Chinese wedding!

They have these cute packages for “Guo da li” (sort of like a betrothal event) and prepacked “Dowry” paraphernalia which includes a red potty with gold “Double Happiness” lettering stuck on the side. Supposed to signify lots of babies. *LMAO* Like I’m gonna stick my kid on top of a red potty with “Double Happiness” stuck at the side. But all very, very cute and idiot-proof, so I’d recommend giving this store a try, if you’re a confused modern Chinese bride like myself.

I loved that they have all these lovely kwas! There are the “Mother in law kwas” (black top, red skirt) and the “ma gua” which is the outfit for grooms, and the “siu chiu” which is like a big red bow for the man to wear. The only type of kwa they didn’t have was the bright pink ones…maybe cos those are traditionally worn by concubines.

Well I found out that the bride’s family has to prepare a tea-set as part of her dowry to the groom’s family. The tea-set will then be used during the tea ceremony, and then kept away to be used for special occasions. I found a cute little set that should look really amazing in the photos! I’m putting two different pictures of my brand-new tea set on here, just cuz I’m so pleased with it!

Mr. Panda thinks the tea-set’s really “elegant” and he’s super-pleased. 

“Elegant”?

That wouldn’t have been my word for it, but it’s a cute set, that’s for sure.

Oh, and I brought my lovely red Chinese embroidered shoes to the shop so that I could try on the kwa with the shoes on. Angela from ‘House of Etiquette’ is a real sweetie. She let me take pictures of the shop, and even took some of me too!

This one is me attempting to take my own picture:

And then Angela decided to take over…but we forgot to put on the flash:

Notice the three layers of beaded fringe at the hem! Angela added those because this bridezilla is 177cm (almost 5′10) tall and the skirt was kinda too short in the beginning. It still looks kinda weird to me; I don’t think these skirts were meant to have so many layers of fringe on them, but what the heck, right. A bit of Vegas going on there, yeah! *woot woot*

Once more with flash:

Angela even went so far as to open up a plastic containing a cute red chiffon scarf so I could pose with it. AND she took all the pictures after that too! (I did some cropping so that my face wouldn’t be shown…bad luck to show a bride in her wedding dress before the wedding.) 

And here’s another picture of me, posing next to a portrait of a model in a kwa! Check out how beautifully my shoes go with the kwa! Love, love, love!

Just wearing all that red made me feel like a “xian qi liang mu” (roughly translated to mean “sexy/bombshell/sophisticated/sweet/good/demure/culturally accurate wife”)

There are any number of shops in Singapore selling Chinese wedding stuff. This one was a winner for me, because the lady is so sweet to work with. In our wedding preparations, we were lucky to get people who’d go the distance, such as Angela from House of Etiquette, and Viv from Madevivlove, who are doing our invitations.

Just remember bridezillas: you might spend a few dollars more here and there, but sometimes the attitude of the person assisting you makes all the difference in the world. At the end of the day, the wedding industry is really the ultimate service industry and vendors who understand that are worth their weight in gold. When I look back years from now, I won’t remember the extra few dollars spent, but I will remember that the whole process was pleasant and lovely, and that largely depends on how people treat you in the process. So don’t sweat the details; go for what’s important.

I came across this mold with the chinese characters (double happiness). I initially believed that this was a mold to make mooncakes, but it seemed that it could be a mold to make another traditional pastry. 双喜糕?

Kelly & Glen are married! I had the honor to coordinate their wedding day. I couldn’t have done it without my trusty assistant, aka husband, David, and my best friend, Kien. Thanks!

Bridesmaids counting red envelopes (photo by Tanya Nguyen)

Groom and groomsmen fetching the Bride (photo by Tanya Nguyen)

Groom and groomsmen making CUTE faces (photo by Tanya Nguyen)

Kelly & Glen work together, and their boss let them borrow his gorgeous garden in Los Angeles to hold the western ring ceremony. The white chairs were set up by Kelly and the girls + Kien on Friday afternoon. We decorated the aisle with sunflowers and tulles. We placed sandalwood fans on every other chair, so the guests keep cool. Kelly and the girls made their own floral bouquet. Unfortunately, one of the bouquet started to fall apart before the ceremony started, thank goodness for the certified florist, Kien (Signature K), she reconstructed the bouquet and rewrapped the ribbons. Kelly prepared another tea set and red towels for the second tea ceremony for Glen’s family. The officiant, Lisette, integrated this into the ceremony seamlessly.

Sunflower ceremony aisle decor (photo by David Wang)

Sandalwood Fan (photo by Cristalle Timbal)

Tea Ceremony Props (photo by David Wang)

Me carrying the bridesmaids' bouquets (photo by David Wang)

Dave, Tina, Kelly & Glen (photo by Gavin Holt)

Menu, table name card, and centerpiece (photo by Tanya Nguyen)

Chinese Wedding Reception Games [photo by David Wang)

Wedding Cake (photo by Kien Nguyen)

My second full-day coordination was hectic, but again, I love feeling accomplished at the end of the day, and that I made another bride worryfree on her special day.

Double Happiness ( shuang Xi) biasa dipakai sebagai simbol-simbol di pernikahan Cina. Semoga selalu berbahagia, banyak bahagia menyertai keluarga baru. Kalau jaman dulu, para pengantin toast dengan tumpukan gelas-gelas lalu dituangi champange, semoga semua kebahagian mengalir dalam kehidupan mereka. Sekarang, baru jadi trend…ngga lagi tuang champange di tumpukan gelas, tapi di bejana Shuang Xi. Biar tambah mantap gitu loh…..

Bejana Shuang Xi

Material : Acrylic clear

Ukuran : 60 x 70 cm

Made for New Santai Ria Restaurant – Semarang

Big smileee! 2 cowok keren tester kebocoran…hehehe

I love being a Chinese bride!

So many aspects of my culture appeal to me; and the best occasion to celebrate all these wonderful traditional nuances would be at a full-on Chinese wedding. And nothing shouts “Chinese wedding!” more than an elaborate Chinese wedding kwa.

Well, in light of that, I have the most exciting news! Many of you have heard me rant about my sad kwa incident; I really wanted to wear a traditional Chinese wedding kwa for the tea ceremony but the gorgeous ones I tried on when I went a-visiting with Babyduck made me look horrendously wide, square and pudgy! Like a big red oblong packet! So for a while I gave up on wearing a kwa for the tea ceremony. And then JM says “Don’t give up. You might find one that flatters you!” And then by surfing the local bridal forum, I got to hear about this place called House of Etiquette at Paramount Shopping Centre. It was just across the road from where my tailor is, so last Saturday I decided to pay them a little visit.

And then it happened! I tried on something they had in my size, and it actually looked quite nice on me! I think it had something to do with the fact that the hem of the top was scalloped and that kind of “broke” the straight square lines of the kwa, which made if more flattering for me. The skirt was of course, too short, but Angela the sales assistant assured me that they would add another 2 layers of beaded red cloth to the hem making it the perfect length for me. The only catch? I had to rent instead of buying my own, because they’d require at least 4 months to make one, and we just didn’t have the time. I was quite happy to rent because the garment was fairly new and the rental quite cheap too. More pictures after my next visit there! OH I’m SO excited! And happy!

I’m just wondering whether I should use the Chinese headdress as well, or whether that would be an overkill. It’s quite heavy but very interesting to look at! The groom would have to part the pearl strands covering the bride’s face when he enters her boudoir to pick her up, and then hook the strands up to the side before leading her outside to the main hall for the tea ceremony. The problem with this is that it makes me look so much taller than Mr. Panda! If I take the headdress, I won’t be telling Mr. Panda. He’d be so shocked, haha!

The headdress looks something like this:

Or maybe I should just go for pink peonies in my hair. What do you reckon?

Well given that I now will be wearing a kwa after all, I had to look for some matching shoes. No footwear I own would look right with the costume somehow. So at lunch time today, I trotted off to Yue Hwa the Chinese Emporium in (where else) Chinatown. 

The place turned out to be an absolute treasure trove of all things Chinese! And I got lucky too! Found my shoes on the second floor. I took the largest size they had and thank God, the shoes fit. The choice was mind-boggling. I LOVE my red shoes! They were extremely well-made, the satin was thick and sturdy and the embroidery very neat. The shoes had proper little wooden heels on them instead of the cheap rubber soles you’d find in the markets of Bali. There are pink flowers and little beads embroidered onto the shoe. Pictures do not do it justice! They make my giant feet look dainty (ok, maybe that’s stretching it a bit) and I felt so pretty in them. Even if I weren’t getting married I’d probably get a few pairs for daily wear with jeans and pedal-pushers. 

Here are my oriental ruby slippers!

I also got loads of “Double Happiness” stickers to decorate everything from doors to trays and random teapots around the house!

I also got a roll of Double Happiness ribbon. Very useful to tie around vases and jewellery boxes.

More Double Happiness! (At this rate I don’t think we have any chance of being NOT happy). This time on the two cushion covers for the cushions we’ll be kneeling on during the tea-ceremony. (There’s no cushion in it now, so the surface is a bit uneven, hence the patchy bits where the light didn’t hit.)

And then of course, I managed to snag a red velvet jewelry box with the Double Happiness emblem as well. Mom had been searching all over for something like this!

This one I got from House of Etiquette, where I’ll be renting my kwa. Even the inside of the box has a golden “Double Happiness” emblem emblazoned on it!

Here’s a group shot of my red goodies!

Next stop…the “Guo da li” (Betrothal) pack, the Dowry set and the Hair-combing set!

Stay tuned!

Diambil dari Buku berjudul “101 Kisah Bermakna dari Negeri China”.

Di negeri Tiongkok, selalu ada huruf “Double Happiness” atau “Kebahagiaan Ganda” yang ditempelkan di pintu.   Pada waktu menikah dan akan menempati rumah baru, maka tulisan double happiness akan ditempelkan pada setiap sisi dinding, setiap daun jendela dan pintu, bahkan ada yang ditempel di setiap lemari, bufet dan tempat tidur.   Ini dimaksudkan agar rumah dan semua yang ada di dalamnya mendatangkan sukacita besar bagi orang yang mendiaminya, khususnya pengantin baru.   Hal ini juga menggambarkan dua orang yang bersukacita sudah menjadi satu, jadi sempurnalah sukacita sepasang pengantin itu.  

Ungkapan “Kebahagiaan Ganda” berasal dari Bahasa Mandarin “Shuang Xi Zi”.   Provinsi Henan adalah tempat asal tulisan “Kebahagiaan Ganda”, khususnya bermula pada zaman Song (960-1279M) dengan seorang ahli kebudayaan yang ternama saat itu, Wang An Shi.

Konon, Wang An Shi pada saat muda itu akan mengikuti ujian negara di Jing Cheng (kini bernama Kai Feng, di Provinsi Henan).   Orangtua Wang An Shi tidak merasa tenang jika anaknya harus tinggal di rumah orang lain.   Karena itu mereka memberi tahu Wang An Shi alamat pamannya, agar ia pergi dan tinggal di sana.   Orangtua Wang An Shi berharap anak mereka dapat berhasil dalam ujian dan pamannya akan mengurus semua kepentingannya untuk ujian dan Wang An Shi hanya tinggal belajar mempersiapkan diri.

Setelah berjalan sehari sampailah Wang An Shi di pintu gerbang Jing Cheng.   Di situ ada sebuah keluarga.   Orang itu bernama Ma Yuan Wai.   Ketika melintasi rumah itu, Wang An Shi melihat banyak sekali orang berkerumun di depan rumah itu.   “Ada apa gerangan ?” pikirnya.   Ia pun mendekat untuk melihat apa yang terjadi.   Ternyata orang berkerumun untuk melihat tulisan di kedua sisi rumah Ma Yuan Wai.   Di situ ada tulisan yang sangat bagus, karya Ma Yuan Wai.   Tulisan itu sejenis kata-kata mutiara atau amsal yang bermakna sangat dalam.   Setelah beberapa saat melihat tulisan itu, Wang An Shi berteriak, “Tulisan yang sangat bagus, amsal yang sangat indah !”

Pada waktu itu seorang tua keluar dari kerumunan orang banyak dan berkata kepada Wang An Shi, “Tuan Muda, saya sudah memperhatikan anda dan saya yakin anda adalah orang yang memiliki kemampuan khusus.   Waktu anda berkata bahwa tulisan itu sangat bagus dan merupakan amsal yang sangat indah, saya kagum.   Hanya orang yang mengerti yang bisa mengatakan itu tulisan yang bagus dan bermakna indah.”

Wang An Shi hanya diam mendapat pernyataan seperti itu.   Orang tua itu pun mengatakan lagi bahwa sesungguhnya tulisan tersebut adalah tulisan anak perempuan Ma Yuan Wai.   Ia sudah bertekah, kepada orang yang bisa mengetahui tulisan tersebut, ia akan memberikan anak perempuannya yang terkenal cantik untuk diperistri.

“Silahkan anda tunggu sebentar, saya akan memanggil tetua adat dulu, ” kata orang itu, lalau meninggalkan Wang An Shi.

Walaupun Wang An Shi setuju untuk menebak arti tulisan tersebut, ia tidak tega membiarkan pamannya menunggu dirinya, lagi pula ia harus mempersiapkan diri menghadapi ujian.   Karena itu, diam-diam ia meninggalkan tempat itu.

Sesampai di rumah pamannya, dia sangat senang.   Singkat cerita, keesokan harinya ia mengikuti ujian negara.   Wang An Shi menjawab semua pertanyaan di kertas ujian dengan sangat cepat dan setelah itu ia menyerahkan kertas ujiannya kepada pengawas ujian.    Karena begitu cepat selesai, pengawas itupun memeriksa dengan teliti jawaban Wang An Shi.

“Wah, luar biasa…,” guman sang pengawas itu.   Ia lalu memanggil Wang An Shi dan berkata, “Orang muda, saya sudah memeriksa hasil ujianmu dan saya berpendapat anda punya bakat kepintaran yang luar biasa.   Apakah bisa menuliskan “Dui Lian” buat saya ?”    (Dui Lian adalah sepasang tulisan yang ditempelkan di sebelah kiri dan sebelah kanan pintu dengan format dari atas ke bawah).

Istri pengawas ujian pun sambil melihat kertas ujian Wang An Shi berkata, ” Fei hu qi, qi fei hu.   Qi juan hu, chang shen.”   Begitu mendengar ucapan tersebut, ia teringat tulisan di depan rumah Ma Yaun Wai.   “Baiklah…” kata Wang An Shi seperti yang pernah dikatakannya kepada orangtua di depan rumah Ma Yuan Wai.   “Oke, kalau begitu”, kata pengawas, “Setelah saya memeriksa semua hasil ujian, saya akan hubungi anda, sekarang anda boleh pulang dulu.”

Wang An Shi sangat senang, sambil berlari-lari kecil ia pulang ke rumah pamannya.   Betap terkejutnya dia begitu sampai di depan pintu rumah, ternyata di situ sudah duduk orang tua yang pernah berbicara dengannya di depan rumah Ma Yuan Wai.   Orang tua itu sengaja mencari Wang An Shi dan mendapatkan dimana sebenarnya ia tinggal.

Wang An Shi tahu bahwa tulisan di depan ruang ujian adalah jawaban arti tulisan di depan rumah Ma Yuan Wai.   Tanpa basa-basi orang tua itu pun menyodorkan kertas agar Wang An Shi menuliskan apa yang pantas untuk menjawab “Dui Lian” di depan rumah Ma Yuan Wai.

Tanpa ragu Wang An Shi menulis “Fei hu qi, qi fei hu,   qi juan hu, chang shen”.   Orang tua itu membawa pulang tulisan tersebut dan memperlihatkannya kepada Ma Yuan Wai dan putrinya.   Mereka begitu kagum akan kepintaran dan tulisan Wang An Shi.   Karena itu putri Ma Yuan Wai yang cantik pun setuju untuk dinikahkan dengan Wang An Shi.   Ayahnya Ma Yuan Wai, menegutus orang untuk membicarakan pernikahan dengan paman Wang An Shi.

Melihat keponakannya ragu dan bimbang, sang paman pun berkata, “Wang An Shi, putri itu pengetahuannya banyak, lembut hatinya, lembut karakternya dan ia juga orang yanga sangat terkenal di sini akan berbagi talenta yang dimilikinya.   Ia pasti bisa menjadi istri yang sangat baik untukmu !”   Setelah berembuk, mereka memutuskan bahwa tiga hari lagi acara pernikahan akan dilangsungkan.

Pada hari pernikahan, ketika tamu sudah pada datang, tiba-tiba seorang datang dari jauh dan berteriak kepada paman Wang An Shi, “Tuan Wang, hasil ujian negara keponakan anda adalah yang terbaik.   Ia nomor satu !”   Semua orang di tempat itu mendengar dengan jelas dan mereka bersukacita dan bangga.   Ketika mereka sedang berpesta, seorang tamu berkata, “Hari ini adalah hari pernikahan Wang An Shi dan karena itu juga hari ini adalah hari bahagianya.   Hari ini kita semua mendengar bahwa hasil ujian negera yang diikutinya adalah yang terbaik di seluruh negeri, karena itu hari ini adalah juga hari bahagianya.   Hari ini sungguh hari bahagia ditambah hari bahagia.   Apa yang pantas diucapkan atau dituliskan untuk menggambarkan kebahagiaan seperti ini ?”

Beberapa saat semua orang berfikir, namun tidak lama setelah itu Wang An Shi berdiri dan mengmbil kuas untuk menulis “Shuang Xi”, Xi berarti bahagia dan huruf itu ditulis secara bergandengan yang berarti “Kebahagiaan Ganda”.   Sejak itu di negeri Tiongkok, pada setiap acara pernikahan selalu ada tulisan “Shuang Xi”, “Kebahagiaan Ganda” atau “Double Happiness.”

Mutiara Hikmat :
Kejarlah hikmat karena hikmat itu sering kali menolong dan membuat hidup orang lain dan diri kita sendiri bahagia.

Looks like you need to be a member to engage in the nakedness, but there is a Naked Post Card Swap for post cards  dated 090909  planed:

Be a Blessing

Naked Post Card Swap

Flickr Numerology

Zed Power

Twitter:  090909

Mystical Beer

Sexual Activation Energy

Hungry Ghost Festival

Conference

999 Activation

The Atlantean Crystal Activation

Drinking Games without the College

Majoring in College

Frat Boy

Sleep when you are Dead

Know what to kiss and When

How to “win friends and influence people”

It’s not Rocket Science

Loopy Parents

Shooting Fish in a Barrel

Let’s be Friends

Fear and other Space Aliens

Home Cooking

What to Eat

GI Joe

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Manage This

Grade A Myanmar jade pendant: Double Happiness

A级俏色巧雕缅甸翠玉链坠： 双桃间有只貔貅环抱守护着。 貔貅为招财吉祥兽， 桃喻长寿。 长寿添吉祥。 可谓之  双喜临门。。。。。。

Found this article on the internet. A really sweet story that would make you look at the traditional “Double Happiness” symbol differently from now on.

Chinese weddings are steeped in culture and tradition. In order to bring eternal happiness to the wedded couple, every aspect of the Chinese wedding is filled with symbols of the double happiness. Called “hei” in Cantonese, “shuang xi” in Mandarin and “sang hee” in Hokkien, it is essentially two chinese characters for “joy” side by side to symbolise double joy and double happiness.

The hei symbol is always coloured red to signify the wonderfully auspicious event a Chinese wedding is to both families.

Double Happiness in Bridal Bedroom

The double happiness symbol is usually placed in the bridal bedroom to ensure the couple is always blessed with happiness. The symbol will usually be placed on the bedhead, the main door leading to the room and sometimes on the dressing table mirror. It clearly sets apart the wedding bedroom from the other rooms in the house and creates a festive and romantic air.

Double Happiness on Wedding Dowry Items

The betrothal and dowry items brought by the groom to the bride’s family has to have the double happiness symbol on them to symbolise wedding gifts. This includes even the briefcases of dowry money should the groom’s family wish to present the bride’s family with cash! 

The Legend of The Double Happiness Symbol

In the ancient Tang Dynasty, there was a student who was on the way to the capital to attend the national final examination, in which the top learners would be selected as the ministers in the court. Unfortunately, he fell ill halfway when he passed through a mountain village. Thanks to a herbalist doctor and his daughter, he was taken to their house and treated well. He recovered quickly due to the father and the daughter’s good care. Well, when he had to leave, he found it hard to say good-bye to the pretty girl, and so did she. They fell in love. So the girl wrote down the right hand part of an antithetical couplet for the student to match:

“Green trees against the sky in the spring rain while the sky set off the spring trees in the obscuration.”

“Well, I can make it though it is not easy. But you’ll have to wait till I have finished the examination.” replied the student. The young girl nodded in significance.

In the examination the young man won the first place, who was appreciated by the emperor. Also the winners were interviewed and tested by the emperor. As luck would have it, he was asked by the emperor to finish a couplet, which would need a right part as the answer. The emperor wrote:

“Red flowers dot the land in the breeze’s chase while the land colored up in red after the kiss.”

The young man realized immediately the right part of the couplet by the girl was the perfect fit to the emperor’s couplet, so he took the girl’s part as the answer without hesitation. The emperor was delighted to see the matching half of his couplet was so talent and harmonious that he authorized the young man’s identity as Minister in the court and allowed him to pay a visit to his hometown first before holding the post. The young man met the girl happily at home and told her the emperor’s couplet. They soon got married. For the wedding, the couple DOUBLED the Chinese character, HAPPY, together, on a red piece of paper and put it on the wall to express the happiness for the two events. And from then on, it has been taken on and became a social custom.

There’s actually a whole host of stuff I should be getting for the betrothal and dowry. But I would most probably get them from Singapore instead, and since Golden Happiness delivers, it would make my life heaps easier. Babyduck did an excellent post on Chinese customs for betrothal. And for added info, I’m pasting some of the write-ups from the Golden Happiness website here.

过大礼 (Betrothal)

What is Betrothal?

 
It comprises of gifts and cash delivered to the bride’s home by the groom. Of which the bride’s family will accept and return the reminder to avoid giving the impression of “selling” their daughter. 

Why is Betrothal important?

The Betrothal epitomizes the sincerity towards the marriage between the bindings of 2 families and assures the bride’s family that she will be well taken care of after marriage. It also shows the groom’s financial dependability.

When should Betrothal be done?

One to three weeks before the wedding day. Normally, an auspicious date will be chosen at temples in exchange for a small ang pao, usually $10 – $12 will be sufficient. 

How is Betrothal done?

The Groom together with a friend or a matchmaker will deliver the betrothal gifts to the bride’s home.
 
*Dragon and phoenix candles are a must for all dialects, but in my case, I will just get a pair of plain red candles minus the dragon & phoenix, since both sides of our families are Christians.

Below is the checklist of what to buy. Hokkiens/ Haianese: (we are neither…well, Mr. Panda has a touch of Hokkien, I think)

On the morning of the wedding day, the bride’s family will light the 2 dragon candles while the groom’s family will light the 2 phoenix candles.

If your husband is Hokkien and Hainanese

Things to buy for the bride:
Dragon & Phoenix candles [not applicable for us - substitute with pretty red ones]
A Bunch of bananas (!!!) [Can anyone guess the reason behind the bananas?!!]
Some red dates
Pig trotters/Minimum six pig trotters cans
Oranges
6 types of seeds symbolizes prosperity, growth and perpetuation of the family

Returning to the groom
Things to buy
Handkerchief for the groom’s best man [Must check if Gerald prefers pink or lavendar! ]
2 stalks of yam (!!!) [What the...]
2 stems of ginger plants [Does anybody have a herb garden I can raid...??]
2 stalks of chives
2 pcs of charcoal [sounding more & more like I'd have to do a cooking demo or something]
2 packets of tang yuan flour
1 tie & tie clip
A red packet will also be given to the groom’s family to buy shoes. [Ok, I'm going to skip this. Why do I have to get his family shoes?]
The bride will need to present towels to the parents, grandparents, uncles, aunt and groom’s siblings. [Skipping this one too!]

Cantonese/Hakka

If your husband is Hakka or Cantonese

Things to buy for the bride:
A number of cash 4 separate red packets
2 Chicken
2 Bottles of brandy
Dragon & Phoenix candles
Hai wei (Cantonese)
19 oranges
19 apples
2 pieces of red cloth to hang on the door, grooms to be longer than brides (for gd luck) [This one I'll be getting from HK hopefully. If not, I'll order off the Golden Happiness website]
A full plate of ‘fatt kou’, some vegetables as leaf lettuce or endive (’sang choy’, symbolizes vitality),
celery (‘khan choy’ symbolizes diligence), spring onion (symbolizes intelligence)
1 pair of trousers (if the bride has a single elder brother (symbolizes wealth).
Dragon phoenix bangles (Long Feng Zhou) [Will be getting these from Hong Kong as well...nicer selection!]
6 types of seeds symbolizes prosperity, growth and perpetuation of the family
A specified number of wedding cakes [This one probably have to source around Singapore or Sabah.]

Returning to the groom
Things to buy
1 pair of lotus tuber (‘leng ngau’) with roots intacts and plenty of tubercles (but now a days it is almost impossible to get so lotus roots from supermarket will do) (Cantonese only)meaning (symbolize the prosperous offspring desired by the couple as well as longevity of both the couple and their family.)
Part of the cash will be returned to reflect the spirit of sharing between two families. (Both Hakka & Cantonese)

TeoChew
On the first delivery date selected at the temple, part of the cash, 10 or 12 oranges and some biscuits will be sent and to seek approval from bride’s family.
On the second delivery date, the balance of the cash and wedding cakes, 12 oranges, biscuits, a roasted whole pig, 2 chickens, 2 bottles of brandy and 3 sets of ice sticks (3 coated with sesame and the other 2 with rice grains).

If either side is Teochew
Things to buy for the bride:
10 to 12 oranges
Wedding cakes
A roasted whole pig (how many kilos depends on the request of the bride)
2 chickens
2 bottles of brandy
3 sets of ice sticks (3 coated with sesame and the other 2 with rice grains)
Dragon & Phoenix candles
Gold Jewellery (Si Dian Jin or the Si Dian Zhuan)

Returning to the groom
Things to buy
2 bottles of orange juice
1 piece of handkerchief for each of the brothers who helped deliver the items
2 stalks of yam
2 stalks of chives
2 stems of ginger plants
2 pcs of charcoal
2 packets of tang yuan flour
I tie n tie clip
The bride’s family will give a red packet to each person who delivers the cash and gifts.
To each of her parents-in-law 1 piece of handkerchief with 1 big red packet.
A small moneybag containing 6 kinds of seeds (symbolizes prosperity, growth and perpetuation of the family)
1 red packet with cash for the elders in the groom’s family to buy shoes.

Lest you think that only the guy has to be the one to give gifts, here’s a list of what the bride would have to give as part of her dowry!

嫁妆 (Dowry)

What is Dowry?
The bathtub, basin and potty are to encourage the couple to have children. The sewing kit represents a capable wife. The wedding lamps mean a bright future and the bowls means abundant food for the couple.  [I don't know about the basin or potty. Can I KIV this until we actually have the little pandas? Singapore condo too small...where am I going to store potties? I guess I could train our dog to use it in the meantime.]

Why is Dowry important?
The gifts represent the blessing to the couple and show that the bride has grown up and is ready to take on the new role of a wife and mum.

When should Dowry be done?
On the same day as Betrothal ceremony or a few days before the wedding. 

What are the items?
1 Double happiness bathtub
1 Double happiness potty
1 Double happiness basin
1 Sewing box
1 pair Double happiness mugs
1 Sewing Kit
1 Metallic Disc
1 Red thread
1 Scissors
1 Measuring tape
1 Ruler
1 Mirror
1 Comb
1 Double happiness tea set
1 pair Double happiness bowl and spoon set
1 pair Double happiness bedside lamps
2 pair Silk slippers
Assorted beans [*lol* Mr. Panda will love this. He hates any kind of legumes!]

Well tonight I’ll be going with Babyduck to see a “kwa” sale & rental place in Singapore. The Red Wedding sounds promising & Janet seems really nice. Maybe I’ll find something nice there too?

More updates later.

I’m going off to Hong Kong for a whirlwind shopping trip! Next weekend…can’t wait!

Spoke to JM (who unfortunately won’t even be there this time) and she’s recommended that I get the Chinese customary stuff from there. Apparently the selection is FAR wider, and of course, the prices should be correspondingly more competitive.

So I’ve decided to do up a little shopping list to keep me on track, since I have only two days there. Focus, Bridezilla. Must do this with surgical precision or I might end up with a whole lot of stuff I never intended to buy, NONE of the stuff I was SUPPOSED to buy, and NO MONEY left to get them!

Here’s my preliminary shopping list:

1.  Chinese wedding “kwa” –> (SO EXCITING!!)

It should have no dragons on them if possible, even though the 3-dimensional embroidered dragon kwas are the best-looking ones. I’m a Christian, but don’t really have a major problem with dragons on my clothing (I think they have more dignity than ‘Hello Kitty’, for eg.)

However, since I fully intend to purchase one for keeps and pass it down to my daughter next time as part of her dowry, I must prepare for all possibilities, including the one where she marries a fiery Southern evangelical pastor who believes there is a demon lurking under every cornflake.

As for me, I definitely believe that if you’re saved, you’re saved, and a piece of embroidered cloth should no more have bondage over you than cotton pyjamas emblazoned with a talking mouse called Mickey. If I do end up purchasing one without dragons, it’ll probably be to please some people and not stumble them. Not sure if I’m too hot about that; a decent kwa costs a lot of money!  

I found a few places that’re on my target list:

Koon Nam Wah, a famous Chinese wedding shop apparently selling the best kwas in Hong Kong.

They have some of the most elaborate “kwas” I’ve ever seen and they’re all sewn to fit your body so you get a one of a kind outfit. I called up the lady and it seems like they’re a one-stop shop for anything I could possibly need, including matching shoes that go up to size US13!

Another place highly recommended in blogs is Wing Wah.  

But the Holy Grail for Chinese wedding stuff according to JM, my “eyes & ears” in Hong Kong, is Kam Do Plaza otherwise known as Golden Plaza, which is a 7 storey mall completely devoted to wedding stuff. It is conveniently located at the Prince Edward MTR station in Mongkok and should be fairly accessible even for noobs like me. That’s where I’m hoping to find all the other shops that will supply me with the rest of the stuff on my hit-list!

2. Red embroidered shoes to match the kwa  (maybe I can wear them with jeans after the wedding? *hopeful*)

3. Gold jewelry – Mr. Panda would like me to pick them myself & he belanja!    JM says I should try Chow Tai Fook or Chow Sang Sang since they have a nice selection. 

4. Hong Cai – a long red cloth placed over the doorway of the bride’s home & the groom’s home, signifying a lucky event, such as weddings (which is the ultimate lucky event!) 

I ripped this picture from goldenhappiness.com.sg which is a great resource here in Singapore. They’ll actually compile all the traditional betrothal packages for you, including dowry, “Double Happiness” stickers, etc. AND they deliver too!  Fantastic for brides like me who want to maintain tradition but have no idea what to do/buy!

5. Wedding favours – If I can’t find them in Kam Do Plaza, I’ll just forget about getting favours from HK altogether & focus on other things.

6. A “red ball” made out of ribbons/sash- something the groom wears in front of him, when he comes to pick up the bride in the morning. Usually over a wedding outfit, but I think Mr. Panda’ll skip that & just carry the red ball instead. Looks something like what the male figurine is wearing here:

If Mr. Panda goes the whole hog & wears the chinese outfit with the red ball, I think he’ll really look like Kung Fu Panda. Not something he’s crazy about.

7. Special Angpow (red packet) specifically for “Peng Kam” (the bridal price) – Traditionally the guy’s family will present “Peng kam” to the girl’s family in a lucky amount which ends with “8″ (prosperity), “9″ (longevity), or “6″ (happiness & recognition). The auspicious amount would really depend on the negotiating skills of the middle-person, who’s normally a lady, called the “Tai Kum Jie”, or matchmaker. In our case, we don’t have a “Tai Kum Jie” so I guess the bride has to decide with her Mom! 

8. Scarlet bed-linen! For the traditional first-night bedsetting. Looked around Singapore & found only rather sad-looking ones.

9. Crystal ropes/strands to decorate my Crystal Wedding Tree. I’m hoping they’ll be cheaper in Hong Kong than from the US…since I’m sure everything in the US was made in China in the first place.

 Stay tuned for more updates on my shopping list!