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Four Story Ideas for Grandparents to Share with Grandkids

Tina — Thu, 27 Sep 2012 17:34:16 +0000

My family loves storytelling, not only from books, but also from our own lives. Stories from my kids’ grandparents are even more exciting. Here are some ideas to begin a tradition of storytelling between grandparents and kids:

1. A Day in School. Tell your grandchild about a day in school at about the same age. Details are key: What did you wear? What was in your lunchbox? Was another kid mean to you? Did you take classes after school?

2. Halloween. Describe how you spent Halloween when you were a kid. What was your favorite costume? How much candy did you get? What was your favorite, and least favorite, treat?

3. Weekend fun. Share how you spend weekends as a kid. Was it mostly sports, or family outings? Was there a special meal or tradition that you had? What did you look forward to?

4. Grandparents. What were YOUR grandparents like? What are some of your favorite memories? When did you see them? What did you do together?

Do you have any other ideas? Please share them!

Grandparents, the Iliad, and the Gift of Storytelling

Tina — Tue, 25 Sep 2012 18:23:11 +0000

I drove 24 hours over the last 3 days to attend a wedding in Arizona (Death Star-themed wedding cake pictured above). I spent 16.5 hours of this prolonged, but welcome, silence listening to Homer’s story of the Iliad. It is an extraordinary tale, laden with rich characters, emotional conflict, and gruesome death scenes (‘…a cloud of darkness overshadowed him as he sank, holding his entrails in his hand.’ Ew.) But I was mostly interested in the story as an oral history, and I was glad I had the chance to listen, rather than read, the Iliad.

The story of the Iliad was likely passed on orally before Homer wrote it down in the 8th century BC. I like to imagine young people listening to the events being narrated by an older person, perhaps a parent or grandparent, over several days, and then learning to tell the story themselves. In this case, the Iliad was most likely studied, memorized and recited, and all in verse.

I believe oral traditions play an important role for children. There is value to learning to listen, and to remember and recite both the main story, as well as the details that bring a story to life. I could probably summarize the Iliad on Twitter in about 12 tweets. But that isn’t the point. The details of stories are what make it interesting and memorable. Also, the motivations of the characters Achilles, Agamemnon and Hector drive the conflicts, and teach moral lessons about greed, jealousy and holding grudges.

Grandparents can help kids appreciate stories, and become storytellers themselves. A grandparent’s life is itself a story, or a series of stories, with details that give a picture of life through time. And while many technologies focus on abbreviating stories, there are plenty that can allow a child and a grandparent to share richer, more detailed accounts. (Yes, DoubleScoop would work well here). A grandparent can play an active role helping to build a tradition of storytelling in a child’s life, and help a child gain the skills of storytelling – active listening, tracking plots, adding compelling details, and understanding people and their motivations. On top of all that, a child can learn about their family history, and strengthen their relationship with their grandparents.

Four reasons I wish my grandmother was coming to a family wedding

Tina — Thu, 20 Sep 2012 21:55:26 +0000

I am going to a family wedding this weekend. I am very excited, not only to see some family members, but also because I am going without my kids, it’s in Sedona, AZ, and there’s a rumor of a Star Wars-themed cake. But it’s also my first family function since she died 3 years ago. Here is why I will be missing her so much:1. She won’t see my fantastic dress. After years of questionable fashion choices, I have at least partially got my act together. I wish she could see it – she herself always looked terrific, and cringed when she saw some of my get-ups.

2. She’ll miss another grandchild getting married. When she died, only one out of nine grandkids (me) had married. While she would not want anyone to rush into marriage, I think she would have enjoyed a couple more weddings than she did.

3. I won’t really have anyone to show pictures of my kids to. While my cousins and uncle will certainly look at a snapshot or two, it’s not the same total enthusiasm. (Of course, if she had been there, somehow the kids would have tagged along.)

4. I can’t call her the next day to talk about the event. This has been the worst part about her dying, and I finally understand what it is to really miss someone. Something just clicks, and I find myself reaching for the phone, and I remember she’s not here anymore.

I do know, however, that she would be happy for her family to be getting together to celebrate this milestone.

Would your grandmother invite a rat to Thanksgiving?

Tina — Tue, 18 Sep 2012 20:29:42 +0000

I don’t remember a lot about my first mouse. She was followed by a series of adventurous, devious hamsters that dominate my memoria rodentus. But I do distinctly remember one time when my Grandmother visited us in California. I took my mouse and ‘surprised’ her with it, dropping it on her shoulder. Her face is as vivid in my mind as the day I moused her. I have never seen her look so aghast, and she wasn’t play-acting. She was a good sport about it during the visit, but she and my mouse agreed to keep their distance.

Today, our first rodent joined our home. We had planned on a hamster, but after babysitting one, they seemed a little too easy to get lost. A little research on rats suggested they are quite intelligent (‘what does that really mean?’, my husband asked, ‘can it tutor the kids?’) and easy to care for. It has even been suggested that we can clicker-train the rat to do tricks. While this sounds great, I suspect our new $2 clicker will find a cozy place next to the foreign language DVDs, the dusty piano, my canning and quilting equipment, and the yoga ball.

After we bought the Luxury Rat Pet Home, we picked up our new friend at the Humane Society. (Yes, we went with one of the older rats that didn’t quite make the cut the first time around. I’ll let you know how that pans out). My kids were so excited, and it was time to let the grandparents, aunt and uncle know about Sammy.

Their uncle gushed over the picture of the rat, and asked what he could send to Sammy to make him the most ‘killer’ rat palace ever. He and my daughter rattled on about obstacle courses, etc., for a while. Then she called her grandmother, my mom, who had been through my mouse and 3 hamsters. She also thought Sammy was adorable, and I left them to chat. After a bit, they hung up, and my daughter said, “Sammy can go with us to California when we visit for Thanksgiving.” Now that’s one awesome grandmother, who clearly hasn’t seen how big the cage is.

It’s Grandparents Day. Ten Reasons My Grandmother was Awesome.

Tina — Sun, 09 Sep 2012 20:30:17 +0000

In honor of Grandparents Day, I made a list of the things that made my grandmother wonderful, loving, unforgettable, fun, thoughtful, fantastic and fully awesome. Obviously not a comprehensive list, but it’s a start:

1. Never forgot my birthday
2. Always sent me something on my brother’s birthday, even if it was flowered underwear
3. Let me win every game of Crazy 8s we ever played, and I didn’t suspect a thing.
4. Paid attention to every word I said, and remembered it later on
5. Told me stories about her childhood, back in the day.
6. Cut out and sent crossword puzzles to me for the entire 2 years I lived in South America
7. Shared her opinions and insights freely, with her unique perspective
8. Went back to college to finally earn her degree around age 50
9. Found friends for us in her neighborhood when we visited
10. Was always there for me.Happy Grandparents Day!

Thank Goodness. It’s Just Whooping Cough.

Tina — Fri, 07 Sep 2012 18:03:02 +0000

I had a slightly surreal experience last night, and I need to add on to my post yesterday about 4 reasons I am Jealous of My grandmother. Here’s the catchy title for reason #5: ‘Confused about whether my child is having an anaphylactic reaction from peanut desensitization or just still recovering from whooping cough.’

For the last 12 weeks, our daughter has been participating in a program to desensitize her to peanuts. It’s basically like allergy shots, but instead you give the person tiny doses of peanut over time, gradually building up to whole peanuts. It had been going really well until she caught the virus her younger sister had a month or two ago. She had a mild reaction to her dose, so we lowered her dose for a while.

We continued at this level, but her coughing kept going, and going and going. Just like her sister’s. First, it was diagnosed as environmental allergies, then the doctor suspected pneumonia, but both of their xrays were clear. The word pertussis, or whooping cough, came up, but it seemed unlikely given that both of our kids are vaccinated.

The younger girl finally improved (she had a 3 week head start), but her older sister was still going strong. We had another visit to the allergist, and she started to suspect that both had had pertussis and were recovering. Apparently, as more parents choose not to vaccinate (not passing any judgments here) and the virus is becoming more common, the doctor has seen more people get pertussis, regardless of their vaccination history. But it still seemed a little unlikely. Her coughing became less regular, and she seemed overall to improve.

So last night, my daughter started coughing and gasping after her dose of peanut. We popped over to the ER to see if she was still just recovering from her virus, or having a mild anaphylactic reaction to peanut. Lo and behold, despite the timing of her coughing – right after the dose – and her gasping for air, the doctor felt she was still just whooping a little. ‘They call it the 100 day cough in China,’ he smiled. He found no evidence of an allergic reaction, and the girls haven’t been contagious for weeks, so could go to school. And we found ourselves saying, ‘Thank goodness, it’s just whooping cough,’ because we were thrilled that we could continue with the desensitization program. And I know my grandmother never had THAT experience.

4 Reasons I am a Little Jealous of my Grandmother

Tina — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 23:13:30 +0000

I was thinking about Grandparents Day again, and about my grandmother H. I thought about her life and how she raised her kids. And, while I was packing up a few hundred things to take my kids to the pool, I realized I was a little jealous of her. Now, I am not suggesting for a minute that her life was easier, but there are some things she never had to think about that drive me crazy. Here they are:

1. Food allergies and intolerances. My own daughter has a severe peanut allergy, and it seems that every product we look at has a warning for traces of peanuts. It’s incredibly frustrating to be stressed over something so basic as what food my child eats. And as more kids and adults are avoiding more types of foods, having people over for dinner has become a challenge as more dietary needs need to be met.

2. Toxic pajamas. Have you tried to find a pair of loose fitting pajamas for your child that doesn’t have flame retardants on them? If you do, please let me know where you purchased them. Now that I am aware how toxic these chemicals are, especially to girls, I am of course trying to avoid my kids’ exposure to them. I wish kids’ clothes simply didn’t have chemicals.

3. Cyber-bullying and stalking. I probably am painting too rosy a picture, but I think when my grandmother’s kids were at home, they were in a truly safe place – no bullying, no teasing, no stranger danger. Now, new online services and networks expose kids to all of those things, no matter where they are. I hate to think that my kids are not going to have a place that is truly safe. For this reason, we have chosen to be extremely restrictive with the internet, limiting them to a couple educational apps (we picked these with the help of www.commonsensemedia.org), and DoubleScoop. But they’re still young, and I already dread how much time it will take for me to stay on top of their online lives as they get older.

4. Sunscreen. I hate sunscreen. And then, I find out that the chemicals in some sunscreens might be worse than the damage from the sun itself. So now we use a ridiculously expensive pasty white organic sunscreen that is impossible to rub in, and impossible to get off anything, such as my car, furniture and clothes. Except of course the moment anyone gets wet, and it seems to trickle off their bodies in steady white streams.

I wish I knew what my grandmother thought about her grandmother’s life. I know a little bit about her mother -Ma – but I never thought to ask about her grandmother. Maybe this Sunday, Grandparents Day, is a good time to see what you can find out from your grandparents.

Grandparents Day?

Tina — Tue, 04 Sep 2012 20:08:54 +0000

Before I started this job, I had never heard of Grandparents Day. Given that I have been extremely close with my grandparents all my life, I was a little surprised. At first, I wondered, ‘Have I been missing out on something?’ I also realized that this was the first year that I don’t have a grandparent alive to honor. My last grandparent died about a month ago. This all got me thinking about Grandparents Day, and what it might, or might not, be all about.

Grandparents Day is a relatively ‘new’ celebration. Marian McQuade founded Grandparents Day, with the goal of educating the youth about important contributions seniors have made. In 1978, President Jimmy Carter made the day official, and described the purpose of Grandparents Day “to honor grandparents, to give grandparents an opportunity to show love for their children’s children, and to help children become aware of the strength, information, and guidance older people can offer.”

The reason for Grandparents Day makes sense to me. But did I personally need a separate day to honor grandparents? I was fortunate as a kid in that my grandparents visited me often, and I was able to visit them, even though we lived in different states. I felt that we honored them every time we saw them. A visit with the grandparents was always special – the food was good, we had special treats, we learned to be patient when they told stories. I think if you asked them, they would not suggest that they needed more recognition for their role as grandparents.

Every family is not the same however. More grandparents are helping with the day-to-day tasks of raising their grandchildren. This changes everything. Just like Mother’s or Father’s Day, these grandparents might enjoy being recognized for their unique contributions to a child’s life. Additionally, as a community, I think it is important to take time out of our busy lives to appreciate the contributions seniors have made, and how we have benefited from their efforts.

I am fortunate that my kids and their grandparents are always showing love for each other throughout the year. They were on the phone last night with the grandparents in New York, and on DoubleScoop this morning sending messages to their other grandparents on a cruise ship somewhere. So this Sunday, I probably won’t encourage a special communication from my kids. But I might ask around and see if a senior needs help in our neighborhood with their fall cleanup, and make sure my kids help out.

Grandma, enough about me. Tell me about YOUR first day of school!

Tina — Thu, 23 Aug 2012 23:50:09 +0000

A friend’s daughter just started kindergarten, and she attempted a courageous escape from the playground back to her house. She made it as far as the parking lot when her mom caught her and dragged her back. I found the breakaway story to be pretty funny, but it also reminded me of how difficult going back to school can be for some kids. And maybe grandparents can help a little.

When a child is going back to school or even starting school is a great time for grandparents to share stories about their own experiences at school. Young kids love to hear stories in general, and a story starring a family member that relates to the child’s own life is especially exciting. Chances are, there are some funny or exciting moments you can use to liven up your story. And a child might be comforted by knowing that others in the family have gone through the same experience, and maybe even have felt some of the same emotions.

Kids and grandparents can get in touch by phone, DoubleScoop, email, Skype and start exchanging their adventures. How did you get to school? What was your favorite part of the day? What did you eat for lunch? Were you nervous about anything? What did you do after school? There is so much to talk about, and kids love to hear about when their grandparents were kids. Kids will be especially thrilled if a grandparent can share an old photograph when they were the same age. Hopefully, these stories will help going back-to-school a little smoother, and a little more fun.

3 Weeks with Grandparents. A Success, Even when Everything Seemed to Go Wrong.

Tina — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 19:50:38 +0000

‘Honey,’ shouted my husband this morning. ‘I think E got in a bar fight last night.’ Indeed, her left eye was swollen shut and she was miserable. Some type of monster mosquito must have bit my 5-year old. So, she and I are hanging out watching PBS Kids while her left eye recovers, and it’s a perfect time to get back to this blog after a three week vacation with the grandparents.

In short, we made it. All of us. My husband and I survived three days and nights in wine country (Survived is a stretch. The time flew). My parents pulled through. And my kids, a lot tanner and a little plumper, seemed no worse for our absence. This was our first time leaving the kids for an extended time, and I’ll declare it a success. Even though everything went wrong.

Seven days before we left, L commented ‘my throat hurts.’ She’s not a complainer, so we popped over to urgent care. Strep, of course. Deeply disappointed – it’s summer after all, don’t we get a break from these ailments? – we got her antibiotics. I consoled myself that we had plenty of time before we left for California to recover.

Two days later, E seemed a little off and was coughing like crazy. Genius that I am, I took her to the doctor for a strep test. Confirmed. No big deal. Plenty of time and the doctor thinks the cough will quiet down. But the cough actually gets worse. Another doctor blames it on a little post nasal drip from the strep or maybe irritation from the fires in Colorado. My fingers are crossed and I pack our bags.

Finally, we board the plane to Los Angeles. The cough is intense. The stewardess shows kindness and concern, and gently reminds us about the whooping case outbreak in the US. Have we been tested? I reassure her that two doctors confirmed it was not whooping cough or croup. We go through some 20 lollipops (it’s ok – they were organic) during the short flight.

Once in Los Angeles, the cough worsens. Another kind doctor we find confirms it’s not pneumonia and loads us with various inhalant and liquid medications. And to think we were worried about her getting into my parents’ medications. I feel terribly about how much work it is going to be to watch these kids. With a detailed list of do’s, don’ts and doses – remember, the other girl is allergic to peanuts and is taking her own medication for that twice a day – we leave. The grandparents nobly accept the challenge.

The trip was great. And we heard some good news from the grandparents. Even though the younger girl had a rough first day at camp and had to be picked up early, she stayed the whole time the second day. A steady stream of cupcakes and lollipops and a lot of love from the grandparents seem to have worked. We get back to LA, and are thrilled that the girls barely missed us. Of course, the older girl starts her own cough. We pass the remaining two weeks dressing up in grandmother’s shoes, playing at the beach, eating treats and just resting.

Now I am back home, back to work, thinking even more deeply about the amazing relationship between kids and grandparents, and how DoubleScoop can deepen this bond…when I’m not thinking about when E’s eye is going to open up again.

Igniting a cultural change about how we think about seniors

Tina — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 15:00:06 +0000

After graduating college, I lived and worked in Santiago, Chile for three years. I enjoyed my time there, learning about the culture and exploring the quickly developing city. One New Year’s Eve, I asked some of my Chilean friends what their plans were. “We’ll celebrate the New Year with our family, then go out with our friends after midnight.” Really? New Year’s with your grandmother and your precocious 4 year-old nephew? Growing up in my family, I remember babysitters while my parents went out and later on, anxiously making plans with friends to make sure I had a fully baked New Year’s Eve plan.

I immediately loved the Chilean New Year’s where family takes center stage. The idea that, on a day that holds some promise for a fresh start or new adventure, you surround yourself with the people that have supported you in the past, and will likely be there to help you along in the future. In addition, celebrating a new year with different generations reminds us of our past and the people who helped create the opportunities we look forward to and sometimes take for granted. Finally, as a pragmatist with her own insecurities, you always have a place to go on New Year’s.

Jeremy Bloom, the two-time Olympic Skier and former NFL football player, gave a terrific talk at TEDx in Denver about the need to recognize and thank seniors in the US culture. During his discussion, he shared an experience he had while in Japan. He was riding a crowded bus when an elderly woman entered. Everyone stood up, helped her along, made sure she had a seat, then bowed to her. He saw a need for the US culture to do a better job appreciating seniors and the contributions they made to our world today. He even created ‘Wish of a Lifetime,’ a non-profit dedicated to enriching the life of seniors.

I was thrilled to hear about Jeremy’s organization and his efforts to bring a cultural shift in how we think about seniors in our country. In the meantime, when my own kids were born, I asked my husband if we could spend New Year’s with our kids, as long as they let us. It’s been 8 years now, and we love it. I just wish their grandparents lived closer to join us.

Do your kids need practice writing? Maybe become penpals with a grandparent.

Tina — Thu, 05 Jul 2012 14:00:54 +0000

My daughter used to love writing. She would happily create endless stories and illustrate them at her little table. In fact, we could no longer keep each creation and had to divert several to the recycling bin. A year ago, though, she lost momentum. We tried to encourage her to write more and prompted her with topics, but she resisted. Then, we ran across an American Girl-branded letter writing set and she perked up. ‘I want to write letters,’ she announced.

Letter-writing is great for kids. It’s fun because it’s short, you get to use a sticker (a stamp), and you can keep in touch with friends and family over summer. I think letter-writing between a child and grandparent is especially exciting. Grandparents always read and praise the letter lavishly, often insert comic strips or jokes, and quickly respond. I ran across an iVillage article today that had some great tips I have highlighted below to start the pen pal relationship:

From The iVillage PBS KIDS Summer Reading Community Challenge

Pre-Readers:

Ask your child to think of five questions for his new pen pal to answer, about your family history. These questions might arise as you build the tree together – write them down!
Help your child write out his letter, and encourage him to accompany it with a copy of the tree and his own signature.

Early Readers:

Help your child set up an interview with his new pen pal, with the aim of learning more about his family history.
When your child receives his first response in the mail, help him fill in any new information on the family tree and of course, read it together!

For grandparents, here are a few ideas to keep the conversation and excitement going:

Include stories about your childhood at about the same age as your pen pal. Point out what is different and what is similar.
Consider adding some humor with comic strips cut out from a newspaper or sharing a knock-knock joke.
If you have a picture from your childhood that relates to your letter, make a copy and send that along. Kids love to see what their grandparents looked like at the same age!
Use postcards when traveling or visiting special places like museums or attractions.
Ask specific questions! This helps continue the conversation.
Send a stamp! (This is written by a busy mom. If you really want a quick reply, toss a stamp in the envelope.)

Happy writing!

How grandparents can prevent the ‘summer slide.’ (And give parents a little breather)

Tina — Fri, 29 Jun 2012 13:25:44 +0000

We love summer in our house. Trips to the pool, fun camps, late, lazy nights followed by even lazier mornings, and the occasional camping trip or visit to grandparents sprinkled in. But, as a parent, I am hearing a lot more about the ‘summer slide,’ where a kid actually loses a portion of his or her learning over the course of the summer. This puts me in a tough spot. I want summer to be fun and relaxing, but I also don’t want my daughter to be shedding what she learned during the school year.

This is where a grandparent can really step in and make a difference. I got the idea watching how a neighbor of ours is using our app, DoubleScoop, with his grandfather. He is going into second grade and learning simple math. His grandfather is sending one math problem over the app, and the boy answers it and sends it back. And there are lots of fun ways to draw smiley faces, stars, whatever, to make it more fun. And the boy says it’s like getting mail!

I think this is a brilliant idea. When I ask my daughter to do something like a math problem, or write a story, I am met with a scowl and a whine. But if Grandma or Grandpa do math or writing using technology, it’s the greatest thing ever for her. So here’s my plan. My dad is going to send her some math every couple of days. She’ll figure it out. I won’t have to worry about it.

My other plan is to have Lydia write and illustrate a story with her grandmother. They can each write a short section, send it off, then the other person will illustrate it. I think this will be a great way to help my daughter write more and be excited about it. I’ll let you know how we do, and share some ideas for types of math problems and story lines.

Facebook for kids? Four reasons my daughter won’t be joining.

Tina — Fri, 08 Jun 2012 03:45:44 +0000

Facebook for kids? Four reasons my daughter won’t be joining.

There’s been a lot reported this week about Facebook possibly allowing kids under the age of 13 to join. The news raises a lot of interesting questions, and certainly had me thinking about whether I would let my 8-year old girl sign up.

The most compelling reason I read encouraging me to get her started was to start to ‘learn’ about using social media responsibly. Facebook, and all social media, is a fact of life, and the best course of action is to equip her to deal with the realities of our technology-driven world. A runner-up was Chicago Tribune writer Scott Kleinberg’s take that “Facebook should use its social networking monster of a platform as a way to get kids excited about homework and in a way that makes Facebook as necessary as a textbook. It should be the de facto place for teachers, parents and kids to go to learn with and from each other.”

But ultimately, the points against introducing young kids to social media are winning me over. Here are some of the insights that really got my attention:

1. My daughter simply isn’t developmentally ready to group-share online. Sarah Fernandez, a contributor to Parentables.com, writes “Most kids under age 13 are trying to figure out how to interact in face to face social situations still, and it’s important that they build those skills and don’t bury themselves in the computer to socialize.” My own child is still learning how to navigate group play-dates, let alone a social network. Interestingly, during the last year, she increasingly asks ‘can we just have one family over?’, reminding me how she still struggles with groups of 3 or more girls at the same time. Imagine a social network.

2. I want to control the ads my daughter sees. At least a little. Several articles have mentioned that allowing younger kids to join will increase the marketing base of Facebook. I can’t imagine that Facebook will block marketing messages and external links to kids. And what Facebook and the marketing world thinks is appropriate for my 8-year old might be very different than what I think is appropriate. James Steyer of Common Sense Media commented in an article in USA TODAY that “Big tobacco was very, very smart in trying to create brand loyalty starting at the very earliest possible age. That’s why they created Joe Camel. We shouldn’t be trying to build brand loyalty among 7-, 8- and 9-year-olds.” I tend to agree.

3. Maybe I don’t want to share my space on Facebook. Heather Chapman, Special to CNN, hit home when she wrote “Speaking of playgrounds: Facebook is mine. I connect with adult friends on there, and sometimes we say things that aren’t appropriate for kids. I don’t want my son to see my name tagged in a picture that says “It’s wine o’ clock somewhere!” and I wonder how much of a barrier I could put between my account and his if they’re linked.” I actually like Facebook, and appreciate the ability to keep in touch with faraway friends. But I admit how I use Facebook would probably change if my daughter and I became ‘friends.’

4. I don’t want to add more ‘helicoptering’ to my to-do list! Several people commented that an advantage to linking kids’ accounts to parents is that parents would be able to monitor everything the child has said, as well as patrol their ‘friends.’ As a mom, this sounds like a lot more work. Teens are sending 80 texts a day already, so how many Facebook posts would that be for me glance over? I also don’t like the idea of placing my child in a situation where I have to snoop on her constantly.

Social media is a part of our lives. But the question for me isn’t whether or not my daughter should be on Facebook, but when. And younger than 13 just sounds too young for me. Until then, she can call her friends, use Skype or snail mail with her grandparents, or, dare I suggest, just go out and play.

We're not just for friends and family anymore

Tina — Tue, 05 Jun 2012 13:15:41 +0000

This is it. As many you you know, we soft launched in March (see my blog post “DoubleScoop
is about to launch“) for friends and family to try out DoubleScoop . Well, hundreds of active users and thousands of wonderful photos, drawings, voice recordings and text messages later we learned a lot. We exterminated several bugs, made some updates and now, TODAY, we’re officially launching DoubleScoop!

So what’s new and exciting this time around?

1. We made it easier to set up an account. We also added a toll-free phone number in case you or a family member needs a hand getting started. If you don’t feel like walking your mom through the process, let us do it! We’ll be kind and helpful, I promise.

2. It works even better on PC and Mac computers. We had a few hiccups at the beginning, but now DoubleScoop is running faster and should be even easier to use on a desktop or laptop computer.

3. And it works better on iPhones, iPads, and iPod Touches. We switched a few things around to make it easier for young kids to use independently. This means that I can comfortably throw my iPhone (in its protective case, of course) in the backseat of the car, and my 4-year old can find DoubleScoop – yes, that’s why it’s a big ol’ ice cream cone icon – choose herself as a user, and share the news of the day with her grandparents.

And what hasn’t changed?

DoubleScoop still lets young kids and grandparents keep in touch by drawing pictures, exchanging photos, recording voice messages and songs, and typing stories. And now that our family has been using it for a while, I appreciate it even more since my two girls are able to communicate with her grandparents every day or two without me having to find a convenient time for everyone, or having to look over their shoulders to make sure there is no Viagra or belly fat ads popping up while they email. In fact, I don’t have to do much of anything – they send messages while I cook dinner or drive them to the pool. And they all seem to love it.

So that’s today’s pitch for DoubleScoop. Give it a try, and let us know what you think.

Birthday Wishes

Tina — Wed, 30 May 2012 03:15:00 +0000

“So, what do you like most when grandma comes to visit?” “Presents,” my four-year old replied quietly. “And what do you like most about grampy?” “Tickles,” she giggled. Of course, presents are on her little mind. It’s her birthday tomorrow, and my parents are flying in to celebrate it with her.

Grandparents make birthdays special. My husband and I barely remember each others’ birthdays, let alone buy gifts for each other. We struggle through the kids’ birthdays, which are unfortunately just two weeks apart during the last month of school. Neither of us are great at hosting kids’ parties, but both our girls are relentless in wanting home parties. We scrambled this year, setting up scavenger hunts, having a movie, making our own pinata (the birthday girl loved it. We were embarrassed), and leading, yet another, birthday parade down our street. Yes, it all worked out, but we were exhausted.

Maybe because they are not planning and hosting the party, but their grandparents are better at really celebrating a birthday. GIfts were discussed, purchased and wrapped in advance. And a friend of the grandparents sent an electronic card with singing animals. My daughter also received a silly card with a ballerina kitty (Best Card Ever) and a frivolous little tank top that screamed fun.

So tomorrow, we will have a special dinner out, and open some gifts. I can’t help get into the spirit of things, so I am going to spray whipped cream on her AM pancakes. I feel a little sorry for her, since she wanted to go to a hot dog stand for her birthday dinner. We nixed that but promised her dessert. It should be great.

Pigging Out on Red Vines in Aisle 12: Thanks Mom!

Tina — Fri, 11 May 2012 22:26:43 +0000

Maybe it’s the cough from last week’s cold that keeps hanging on, the lousy preschool drop off this morning that made me wonder if kindergarten really is in my daughter’s future, or the prospect of balancing kids and job when school lets out in just two weeks. But something set me off at Target yesterday in the nut and candy aisle, and the next thing I knew, I had eaten an entire pack of Red Vines licorice before we even got to the checkout. My daughter was in mild shock.

This reaction comes directly from a gene from my mother. As a kid, I remember her regularly sneaking a caramel from the open bins at the supermarket. I was always a little surprised. Not only did she not pay for it – I did pay for my Red Vines- but it was so contrary to our seventies, low-sugar, carob-laced diet. Was she undermining all of the lessons about health she had taught us, the years of wheat bread, unpeeled apples, and zucchini pizza?

As a mom, I now know she taught me instead that there are times to break the rules. When the lights get too bright at Target, it’s a little hot, your kid has asked for gum way too many times, an organic rice cake isn’t going to cut it. So you have a little treat to help you make it to the cash register. And your kid realizes that you don’t collapse immediately when you ingest a glug of red dye mixed in with corn syrup, even though I vaguely remember telling her a few years back that this type of candy makes you sick and unhealthy.

So that’s what happened. And I have a fantastic mom. She showed me all the right things to do and how to do them. But then she let me in on the secret that the world won’t stop spinning when you mess up. I hope to send the same message to my kids.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Why I Love Grandparents

Tina — Tue, 08 May 2012 04:09:24 +0000

It’s 6.30AM and I am sipping coffee, listening to birds chatter, and clicking on fun links about summer sandals and sinkholes (the latter fascinate me.) Yes, I can hear my kids rustling upstairs. But this morning, I don’t need to sprint upstairs to see how they’re doing. Grandma and Grandpa came to visit from New York to see my girls’ dramatic performance of 101 Dalmatians, and I couldn’t be happier.

A visit from grandparents is the best. Built-in daycare, giggles galore, complete spoiling. My kids are so thrilled to see them. My 4 year old even offered her spare duckie to them. Of course, they sweeten the pot by toting some gifts along that the girls anticipate. But I think it is their rapt attention to each child that is the main appeal. And Grandma isn’t also trying to clean the house, prepare dinner, sort mail or write a blog, so rarely loses her temper.

I have always known instinctively that my kids should spend time and build a strong relationship with their grandparents. In the first 2 years of my oldest daughter’s life, we made 14 trips by plane and car to visit grandparents, and great-grandparents, to begin this relationship. We have not yet experienced a moment when my children were shy or reticent with either set of grandparents. Even as babies, they both seemed comfortable in their arms. (Although, as my cousin recently reminded me, my second child was so big at 6 months that her great-grandmother could barely hold her).

My instinct may be more than just a notion. There is more and more research about the beneficial role grandparents play in a child’s life. Relationships with people from different generations appear to have positive effects on kids, including building empathy and self-esteem. And it makes sense that an extra person in a child’s life willing to give ‘unconditional love’ is a very good thing.

But I think I am the one enjoying their visit the most. After coffee, I’ll take a hike with a friend, do some work, and even step out this evening for a small gathering. All knowing that my kids are in good hands, happy as clams, and being loved.

Time to Garden

Tina — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:00:12 +0000

I can barely move. I just spent the afternoon embarking on my latest adventure in gardening. Today, I dug holes and planted some beautiful species to liven up my front yard. But, if history is my guide, the $400 worth of interesting foliage, appealing color, etc., will wither in about 2-3 months. And I just wish and wish that I had inherited my grandmother’s vivid green thumb.

My mother’s mother was an extraordinary gardener. She made use of every bit of her tiny garden. She tended wildly prolific raspberry bushes and an abundant peach tree. She deftly turned her harvest into jams and pies. She grew tomatoes, which she didn’t eat since they gave her hives, but I think she gave those to neighbors for fun. She also grew rhubarb, which she gave to my other grandmother who lived 8 blocks away. And she loved her silver dollars that she dried into bouquets alongside bunches of lavender on a clothes lines in her basement.

Her approach to gardening seemed, to me, casual, but passionate. She kept a dedicated set of shelves with violets in her family room that she grew out of cuttings from other plants. She looked forward to preserving her fruit, and would send us back home with a labeled jar of peach jam sealed with wax. She is probably the only reason I enthusiastically harvest the pears from our pear tree, and take the time to peel, roast and puree them each year. The other reason is the Roasted Pear Cake with Chocolate frosting I make from time to time, pictured above.

So now, I am lying down, recovering from planting a golden flame something or other that I had to pay someone to pick out for me. If I remember to water my new plants, it will be a step in the right direction.

Behaving Badly

Tina — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 10:00:47 +0000

Ugh. Everything went smoothly for most of our trip to visit our grandparents over spring break. There was a minor hiccup when I realized that my 4-yr old wasn’t just trying to get attention by whining about pain in her foot. It turns out I had mistakenly dressed her in a shoe two sizes too small for her that she had bravely worn through two major airports. A quick trip to the shoe store fixed that problem.

However, on the drive back from the resort we went to with the grandparents, the little angels began to bicker in the back of the car. The 4-yr old kept humming, and big sister asked her to stop. She hummed more, a little softer. On one hand, it brought back a lot of memories of traveling with my brother. We fought a lot, and he taught me the concept of ‘international air space’, essentially meaning that while back seat was divided, he could still hit or pinch me. On the other hand, this was not the experience I was hoping to share with the grandparents.

It is completely unrealistic to think your kids will always be perfectly behaved around grandparents. But you can hope. And try. I brought out every snack I had. I made a major concession and let them play Angry Birds on my mom’s iPad. Then, of course, they fought about who had spent more time flinging birds around. Desperate, I sunk lower. Cupcakes, donuts and frosted cookies were promised. The humming continued.

At last, we made it home. The rascals cooled down and went to bed. ‘They were clearly tired,’ I said, trying to explain their behavior. And the grandparents, being very good grandparents indeed, chose not to give me any parenting advice, but simply agreed.

Vacation Update: We went to the resort!

Tina — Fri, 06 Apr 2012 17:07:12 +0000

In my recent post (ok, fine, they are all recent) about spending spring break with my grandparents, Flying South to Grandmother’s House , it was still up in the air whether we would make it to a resort during our vacation. Meaning, no cooking, no cleaning, multiple pools, cocktails while playing Uno. Happily, Los Angeles was cold again this spring, and we headed to the desert for some warmth. And, it was fantastic. Thanks, grandparents, for a terrific treat and some real vacation! Oh, and the grandkids love it, too.

How a Pedometer brought a Son and his Grandfather Closer Together

Tina — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 15:47:57 +0000

The GeoPalz Activity Tracker mentioned in this blog.

A friend of mine graciously agreed to write about how her son and his grandfather started a long-distance competition about who could walk the most steps tracked by a pedometer. It is such a great idea, and our kids and grandparents will be getting their pedometers in the Easter basket. Enjoy!

How a Pedometer brought my Son and his Grandfather Closer Together, by Guest Writer, Dana.

I had dreams that, like many other far-flung families, my parents and children would maintain their close connection through weekly Skype video calls. My heart nearly melted thinking about Sebastian, my 7-year-old, flashing them his new toothless smile or our baby girl showing off her cross-pattern crawl to her proud grandparents – all through the iPad. But what actually got transmitted through the ether was my husband and I losing our cool trying to cajole our two uninterested boys into saying a quick hi to Grandma and Pop, or on other occasions, prying Seb and Simon apart as they fought over who got to say hi first. Video calls were a bust for us, but my dad and oldest son Seb have found their own special technological way to stay close between the quarterly visits: a pedometer.

Last spring, Seb became interested in, okay obsessed with, counting how many steps he takes in a day when he saw a friend wearing a pedometer made for kids, called the GeoPalz, which has fun, colorful designs. We bought him one with a peace sign on it and he began wearing it everywhere—of course to school and to the park, but also to his talent show audition. He hooks it on his pjs every night and wears it to bed. Around that time my parents came for a visit, and my dad was immediately inspired by Seb’s dedication and by all the miles he was racking up with his two feet. A big walker himself, my dad went out and bought a pedometer, and before leaving to go home to Nebraska, he and Seb made a bet involving cash (for Seb) and bagels (for my dad) over who could get the most steps before they saw each other again in two months.

A couple days after the challenge started Seb received an email from my dad:

Dear Seb, It is walking weather in Fremont. I now have 18,937 steps. I walked to McDonalds and back this afternoon. You may want to step it up a notch. I have new walking shoes and lots of time. Love, Pop

Pop and Seb started emailing almost every evening, updating each other on how many steps they had. If one had a really big walking day, he would call the other to boast about it. And in Seb’s focused effort to accumulate steps, he decided to enter one of the biggest 10K races in the country, the Bolder Boulder. As he and I jogged along, with thousands of people around and ahead of us, he said, “I’m probably not going to win the race, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to win my bet with Pop.”

Of course I was very pleased that my kindergartner was getting exercise, writing every night, and learning numbers up to the hundred thousands place. But that satisfaction paled in comparison to the deep joy I felt knowing that Seb and my dad were bonding despite the miles between them and making memories that would be cherished by both of them (and me).

Seb did ultimately win that bet. And the two long-distance ones they’ve had since. My parents are visiting again now, and Seb and Pop just started a new contest. Every night they go down to the basement to enter their steps into the spreadsheet they created. That task must take a few seconds, but invariably they stay down there just talking and hanging out until I call Seb up for bedtime.

Flying South to Grandmother’s House

Tina — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 17:30:31 +0000

March is cruel. Now that I live in Colorado, I get it. Howling winds one day, summer warmth the next, and then a surprise sprinkle of snow or rain. I grew up in temperate Los Angeles, and the end of winter in Colorado drives me crazy. To flee the weather last year, the girls and I headed south to visit the grandparents for spring break. But a freak rain storm in Los Angeles made us quickly change plans and meet up instead in the Arizona desert for our first resort vacation.

The trip was great. The grandparents watched the kids swim. The kids loved the restaurants and the patio where we played cards over lemonade and margaritas. We visited the rec room, and explored the Phoenix Zoo, which was fantastic. I didn’t cook a meal, wash clothes, pack a lunch or clean up clutter, and I had 24/7 babysitters. The grandparents paid. Clearly, I thought the whole experience was brilliant. I started scouting out resorts for our next trip.

So this year, I politely declined to attend a conference in DC for work (we’re getting close to launching our service, DoubleScoop. It’s so exciting.) and I asked the girls if they wanted to go south again with the grandparents. I showed them the resort I found. Five pools, miniature golf, several on-site restaurants, a beach, a game room. And the little rascals replied, ‘Can’t we just go to grandmother’s house? Maybe it won’t be raining.’ And so, to grandmother’s house we go. Maybe I’ll go to the resort by myself.

Why Mint Chocolate Chip

Tina — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 17:44:56 +0000

Why Mint Chocolate Chip?

Naming things is not one of my strengths, and I probably should have shared that with the guys I work for. For example, it took my husband and I ten days to name our first daughter. Finally, when the hospital staff let us know that if we needed more than 10 days we would have to pay $250, we settled on Lydia. With the second child, we couldn’t decide between two names, so we named her both, and added onto that a hyphenated last name. Yes, both of our last names are that important. She may fail standardized tests simply because she can’t fill in all the bubbles in time.

The DoubleScoop team spent a really, really long time trying to name our application. I think it took a solid 4 months for us to decide to use the name DoubleScoop. We liked that it is easy to spell, relates to ice cream – a treat most kids and grandparents love – and the ‘double’ makes us think of grandparents giving their grandkids a little something extra. So far, it seems to be working for us.

Then I had to name my blog. We started with DoubleScoop Mom. We wanted to be upfront that I work at DoubleScoop and would occasionally be using the blog to promote the product. But we all found it to be a little dull, and I frankly get a little tired of just being ‘mom’ all the time. Going back to work is my way to take a break from being mom 24/7. But, we wanted to stick with the ice cream theme that we are using for our product, DoubleScoop. A few weeks ago, I had asked that we each put our favorite ice cream on our business cards. Cute, right? Apparently not, according to the team. So I thought instead I could name my blog with my favorite flavor: mint chocolate chip. So, I’ll try this out for a while until I think of something better. Runner-up: AnotherScoop.