“Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but when dreams come true,
there is life and joy.”
Proverbs 13:12

Having a dream come true is thrilling, but having a dream unfilled or delayed can be a discouraging reality. Often people begin to think they will never find a mate or the job they have worked so hard to achieve. As time passes, it becomes easier to believe the dream will never become reality. They give up or settle for less. If only they had waited just a little longer on the dream God placed in their heart.

When our dreams are deferred, we often quickly draw the conclusion it will never happen or it is “the end.” There is a big difference between “the end” and deferring. “To defer” means “to postpone.” Simply put, it means, that which was promised will not happen right now but it will at a future time.

There are people throughout the Bible who were given a promise, a dream or a covenant by God. Delays happened and they had to wait for many years before the fulfillment. Hebrews 6:15 states, “Then Abraham waited patiently, and he received what God had promised.” Abraham waited twenty-five years for his promised son, Isaac, to be born. Abraham’s promise did come true and his descendants are too numerous to be counted.

There are many reasons why our dreams are postponed until a future time. Sometimes it has to do with getting us ready, getting our souls healed, or getting us into alignment with God’s plan. For the most part, it has to do with God’s timing and “the big picture.” Think about the dreams and promises of Abraham, Joseph, Jacob, and many others. If any of these promises had been completed prematurely, the results could have been disastrous. They could have missed the very opportunity for which the promise was meant. For example, there was a thirteen-year delay in Joseph’s dream of him ruling over his brothers. Joseph was sold into slavery, falsely accused and thrown into prison. Some may have thought this was the end for Joseph, however, they could not see the big picture. These events allowed Joseph to be in the right position as a ruler of Egypt during seven years of famine. His dream manifested when his brothers traveled from Israel to Egypt and unknowingly bowed before him to request provisions. In Genesis 45:4-5, he said, “I am Joseph, your brother whom you sold into Egypt. But don’t be angry with yourselves that you did this to me, for God did it.He sent me here ahead of you to preserve your lives.” 

Let us look at Hebrews 6:17-18, “God also bound himself with an oath, so that those who received the promise could be perfectly sure that he would never change his mind. So God has given us both his promise and his oath. These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie…” Interestingly, there is no record of Joseph complaining during his unfair and unjust circumstances. Instead, he was blessed of the Lord and was given responsibilities over the entire prison. Joseph had confidence in God because of the promises made and kept with his forefathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

Like Joseph, when our vision, prophetic word or promise is delayed, God still keeps his end of the deal; his promise and oath are unchangeable. Like Abraham, we can wait patiently, even if it takes years for the birth of a covenant. Like Jacob, when we wake up to a broken promise, we can hold on and work to see it fulfilled. Remember, “…we who have fled to him for refuge can take new courage, for we can hold on to his promise with confidence. This confidence is like a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls” (Hebrews 6:18-19). God’s dream, his plan, in his time will come true!

Imagine the sound as the children of Israel sang Psalm 126:1-6 on their ascents up to Jerusalem, “When the LORD restored his exiles to Jerusalem, it was like a dream! We were filled with laughter, and we sang for joy. And the other nations said, “What amazing things the LORD has done for them.” Yes, the LORD has done amazing things for us! What joy! Restore our fortunes, LORD, as streams renew the desert. Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy. They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest.”

In the midst of your delayed hope, keep believing, hold on to your dream and let your heart (mind, emotions and will) sing! Think of the life and joy waiting when your dreams do come true!

Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

© 2009 – Karen R. Power. All rights reserved.

Disney starlets Selena Gomez and Miley Cyrus joined Whoopi Goldberg, Dick van Dyke, Ty Pennington, Ne-Yo and Terrence Howard for ABC’s Dreams Come True: A Celebration of Disney Animation special. Hear these stars share their favorite Disney movie memories.

Do you have a favorite Disney animated classic?

It was always my dream to be a dancer and a singer. Every year when the school gave us a form to fill in and to update our particulars, there was a column to write in our ambitions. We can put in three ambitions. The first one I wrote was dancer, then singer and last,  police.

Kampung Pinang was finished in 1986. All the houses was being bulldozer down to pieces by the authority and replaced with  high rise flats, apartments and condominiums in concrete. We were being relocated to a place called Pantai Dalam, where we were given a unit of the longhouse (with only one small living and dining hall, a small kitchen and very small bathroom and toilet, and one medium size bedroom which we converted it into two small size bedrooms) built by the developer to put us in for temporary before we moved back to the new concrete flats (which we need to buy from the developer) in “Kampung Pinang” which they changed the name to Taman Sri Sentosa. Each block of the longhouses had ten units. My parents were given one unit and my sister who was already married then also was given one unit side by side with ours. It was about around 80 to 90 blocks of longhouses there as I can remember. We had spent one and a half years living there. Some years later after we moved out, I heard that the longhouses were gone after a big fire broke out.

Not long after we moved into the longhouses, one day, our TV station was showing a concert video – Madonna Virgin Tour. I had recorded it into a video tape. Everyday I played that video wanted to learn to sing all her songs and dance like her. I was around fifteen years old when I first heard of Madonna and her songs from television programs. Somehow I found her very positive and energetic, and she gave me strong inspiration to become a good and successful performer. In fact she was my life changer. It doesn’t matter that she had a bad reputation or having “bad girl” image, she had inspired me to move on my life with hopes and dreams during the time I had encountered some difficult emotional problems while I was a teenager. In those days, conservative people would condemned us if we tried to imitate Madonna’s moves and personality. Anyway, I didn’t do anything stupid to ruin my life even though I was so depressed and angry at one stage. I was inspired by Madonna to change the condition of my unhappy teenager life experiences. She was the motivator for me to strive to be a better person.

I had choreographed my own dance moves and had entered many dance competitions even though I didn’t go through any proper training. My intention was not to win, but I enjoyed dancing and performing so much and I had a dream to be a dance champion for once in my life one day. My dream did come true later in life unexpectedly even though it was not really a dance competition but sports aerobics competition which required much more effort, skill and intensity. That I will tell the whole story later.

If I haven’t been through those hardships and unhappiness while I was a teenager, I won’t be here today doing what I am doing. It would be a complete different life style and perception of life. It was because I had experienced deep anger, hatred, and depression about what was happening in our family, I wanted to know about life and the Truth, and why are we suffering even though we have been good and kind to others? It was a great life experience for anybody to experience painful sorrow and suffering, to understand what is suffering and why, and to find out how to transcend suffering. And this is the path towards self-transformation and self-realization.  If I always in good and easy life, being happy all the time, I think I won’t be thinking about these questions and I won’t know how other people feel when they are suffering anger, hatred, depression and in painful sorrow.

One day I came across a Buddhism dhamma book titled “Our fate Is In Our Own Control” which talked about how we can change our destiny and control our own life. It was like Madonna, another life changer for me.

I was so tired about being sad and angry. I asked myself, why do I have to live my life in sadness and full of hatred? I have the right and the choice to be happy or unhappy. I don’t want to continue living my life in sadness and hatred. I wanted to change my life. I wanted to change myself, my thinking and how I feel. It was so meaningless feeling sad and angry all the time.

After I read that book, Immediately I made a firm resolution that I wanted to come out of miseries.

The dhamma taught me to be independent and to have self-control, to stop having evil and negative intentions, thoughts, actions and speech, to do good and have kind and positive intentions, thoughts, actions and speech. It taught me to have patience, compassion and letting go and to endure uncomfortable situations and feelings. It taught me to have gratitude and appreciation for the little good things that I have and not complain about things that happened not according to my wish.

When we were living in the longhouse, I decided to go to a dancing school to learn proper dance skill and work my way to be a successful dancer. I told my parents about my wish. They were very supportive. We went in search for good dancing school aound Kuala Lumpur and Petaling Jaya. I ended up in a Yoga and Aerobics Dance Academy where the principle told me that I was very talented and encouraged me to take up the aerobics dance instructor course with her. It would cost 600 Ringgit Malaysia. We were in financial difficulty but my brother would give part of his salary from that month to me for the course fee and the rest of the salary went for helping the family daily expenses. And so, I started teaching aerobics dance classes and a few yoga classes even before I finished the course. The principle recruited me as her assistant and I did many stage performances for the company as well. I had worked for her for two and a half years. The yoga classes then was not really Yoga practice but just doing some exercise with yoga poses, it didn’t talk about yoga philosophy at all. And all these experiences had taught me another life lesson.

I remember that since I was little, I like to dance and do a lots of stretching exercises which is the same as yoga poses but I have no idea that they were part of yoga poses. And all the dhamma that I have learnt, I have no idea that they are the same as Yoga teachings. Not until I went to India for the Yoga Teachers Training Course in the ashram, I realized that what I have been practicing in my heart and believe in all the time was not any different from Yoga. Changing from teaching exercise and fitness classes into sharing Yoga with many people is another great story that I will tell later.

Everything was there already on the path for me, that’s all I can say for the moment. Since I was a little girl, without any intention I had have strong six sense about good and bad energy, and sensing what is happening to my family and some close friends and have predictions or visions or dreams about what was going to happen. Without any intention I was helping in a Buddhist library and somehow started writing about dhamma every night and gave dhamma talks to the public twice a month. Without any expectation I represented Malaysia for world sports aerobics championship in France and then became Malaysian champion after that, having my dream came true. Without any intention to change from teaching fitness exercise classes into giving yoga classes, and without any financial planning I made it to India twice for Yoga Courses, and how I have met my husband now in India during the Yoga course without the intention to get into a relationship and having a life partner. Without any idea to move to anywhere in the world, I am now in Langkawi.

And all these are already the past. A memory. A history. It did happened once but it doesn’t exist anymore. Whether I was angry and depressed before, whether I was  a champion before, whether I was being disappointed before, whether I have learnt how to change my life and came out of miseries, and whether I was happy and content, they all are just some stories to tell how did I ended up here and doing what I am doing now.

I realized that I don’t have to be a singer to sing. I don’t have to be a dancer to dance. I don’t have to be a skillful singer or dancer to express love and happiness or sadness and frustration through singing and dancing. Everyone can sing and dance as they like no matter how out of tune or out of rhythm they are.

It has been a long time I didn’t sing or dance in the form of singing and dancing, but it didn’t change my heart or stop myself from “singing” and “dancing” in my heart. Whether I am doing the act of performing or not, Whether I perform or not, it didn’t affect the peacefulness in my heart. I don’t need to sing or dance to make myself happy or to feel good, nor by not singing or not dancing will make myself unhappy or feel bad.

For me, everything that I perceive through this mind, are a form of singing and dancing in the universal consciousness. The sound of the breeze,  people talking, bird chirping, all kinds of sound made by all beings, the running water, the movement of the trees moved by the wind, the flowers, the grass, the waves of the ocean, the sunset and sunrise, the lightning, the thunder, the rain, the beings expressing happiness and unhappiness, fears and worries, anger and hatred, love and passion, all are the dance and music coming from the universal consciousness. The world is dancing and singing all the time, turning round and round, roaring through the volcanoes and the thunder and lightning.

Yes it’s true; after sleeping in some 35 different locations since March 19th I have finally ended up living in some very flash digs in Beverly Hills.

When you follow the winding road, without a map or a compass and with only your intuition and the hand of God to guide you it’s amazing where your journey may take you. C.S. Lewis describing Aslan the lion once said… “Safe? Who said anything about safe? He isn’t safe but he’s good.”

To often we can look for safety rather than goodness. When we lock ourselves up inside out houses and our gated communities, are we locked in or is the world locked out?

One thing I have noticed on my travels is that as people we often repel (or avoid) what we really desire. It is the unfriendly who long for friends, the deviants who crave intimacy and the safety seekers who truly desire adventure.

P:S: If you can find the subscribe button. You may receive my daily blog via email.

Ya se han publicado los participantes del Kôhaku Uta Gassen 2009, y aquí están:

Equipo Blanco (Chicos)
Arashi
ALICE
FUNKY MONKEY BABYS
Masaharu Fukuyama
Akira Fuse
Porno Graffitti
Kenichi Mikawa
Shinichi Mori
Yusuke Kamiji
flumpool
Hiroshi Itsuki
EXILE
NYC boys
Saburo Kitajima
Takeshi Kitayama
Kobukuro
Jero
SMAP
TVXQ
TOKIO
Hideaki Tokunaga
Kiyoshi Hikawa
Takashi Hosokawa
Yuzu
Remioromen

Equipo Rojo (Chicas)
AKB48
Ai Otsuka
aiko
Ayaka
Ikimonogakari
Mika Nakashima
Ayumi Hamasaki
Perfume
Nana Mizuki
Kumi Koda
Sachiko Kobayashi
Fuyumi Sakamoto
Akimoto Junko
Angela Aki
Sayuri Ishikawa
Miyuki Kawanaka
GIRL NEXT DOOR
Mitsuko Nakamura
Ayaka Hirahara
Kaela Kimura
Natsuko Godai
Yoshimi Tendo
DREAMS COME TRUE
Kaori Mizumori
Akiko Wada

El evento tendrá lugar el 31 de diciembre a las 7:15 (Hora de Japón) y se retransmitirá por NHK.

“Dreams Come True – Art of the Classic Fairy Tales from the Walt Disney Studio” opened on November 15th at the New Orleans Museum of Art (NOMA) and I had the pleasure of attending it that afternoon.

The entrance to the New Orleans Museum of Art’s “Dreams Come True” features these banners, and in true Disney fashion, a red carpet welcome for all those attending.

Walt Disney once said, “The fairy tale of film — created with the magic of animation — is the modern equivalent of the great parables of the Middle Ages.” The Dreams Come True exhibit shows how Disney has taken those classic fairy tales, added to them, and created animated stories which entertain as well as touch our hearts. Disney’s John Lasseter wrote about the exhibition, “Never once do you think that the characters and places are just drawings and paintings. What’s even more amazing to contemplate is that for every background or animation cel that is photographed and seen in the final film, there are dozens of pieces of art the audience never sees that are vital to the creation of the film: visual development artwork, story sketches, character designs, layouts, animation drawings, paintings, and more.”

In this multimedia exhibition you’ll find these usually hidden elements from Disney’s film-making process: maquettes, production cells, backgrounds, pencil sketches, and other original artwork from over seventy-five years of legendary Disney animated films, along with film clips and some rare collectibles the films inspired.

This is my sticker from the Disney art exhibit at the New Orleans Museum of Art. Mickey Mouse shirt available for an additional charge, at Disneyland.

Start your tour with an eight-minute video presentation about the importance and tradition of storytelling in Disney films. The presentation screens continuously in the Stern Auditorium inside NOMA.

From there you enter a series of rooms, arranged chronologically by the year of each film’s release date, with each room highlighting how Disney combines storytelling, composition, creativity and artistic talents to bring these fairy tales to life. The original fairy tales are summarized so that you can see for yourself how Disney transformed them.

Beginning with Silly Symphony shorts and other Disney productions like Three Little Pigs and Mickey and the Beanstalk, you learn Disney’s secrets of production through all the steps in the animation process.

Walt Disney Studios
Conceptual art from Disney’s ‘Snow White,’ part of the exclusive Disney-themed ‘Dreams Come True’ exhibit coming to the New Orleans Museum of Art in November 2009.

As you travel room by room inside the exhibition, you’ll encounter fairy tale-based full-length Disney motion pictures like Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, and finally Disney’s latest animated feature, The Princess and the Frog. All throughout the exhibition, you’ll find original pencil sketches, early production artwork, character maquettes, and research material Disney artists were inspired by in creating their ideas.

You’ll discover some secrets along the way as well, if you pay attention. For example, in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Lucille LaVerne provided the voice of the evil queen but when that character was transformed into the hag-like witch, Lucille altered her voice in the recording studio by taking out her false teeth! I also was pleased to discover that the beautiful bejeweled storybook that was actually constructed for the opening sequence of Sleeping Beauty has its original red pencil layout drawings on display at the museum.

Walt Disney Studios
Sleeping Beauty, 1959 Marc Davis, 1913-2000 Maleficent and Diablo Visual development: gouache and maker on paper Walt Disney Animation Research Library Collection © Disney Enterprises, Inc. Part of Disney’s “Dreams Come True” exhibit at NOMA

Large HDTV screens show clips from the movies highlighted in each exhibit room. In that way you see the production process all the way from the original short fairy tale stories and legends, to how Disney animators expanded those tales to make the characters and their stories come to life, as shown on screen in the finished films.

Walt Disney Studios
Conceptual art from Disney’s New Orleans-set ‘The Princess and the Frog,’ part of the exclusive Disney-themed ‘Dreams Come True’ exhibit to the New Orleans Museum of Art.

The largest part of the exhibit features displays about Disney’s newest animated feature, The Princess and the Frog. You can compare photos of real-life New Orleans locales to the beautiful renditions of them that will appear in the movie. The local culture, food and music are very important in understanding New Orleans, and great care was taken to portray these realistically and yet entertainingly in The Princess and the Frog. An interactive display lets you hear many of the songs in the movie, including “Down in New Orleans,” “Almost There,” “Friends on the Other Side,” “When We’re Human,” “Gonna Take You There,” “Dig a Little Deeper,” and “Ma Belle Evangeline” performed by such musical greats as Dr. John, Terence Blanchard, and the Pinnacle Gospel Choir. The songs range from toe-tapping Dixieland jazz… to lively Cajun Zydeco… to church-shaking Gospel music… to down-home blues… to show-stopping productions featuring that distinctive New Orleans back beat rhythm. Disney even identifies which one is the “I Want” song, found in so many classic Disney feature animations.

While you aren’t brought directly into a gift shop at the end of the exhibition, the museum gift shop can be found nearby and it includes related Disney merchandise, from t-shirts and logo cups to the “Dreams Come True” book from Disney Editions. Although no photography of any kind is allowed inside the museum, this wonderful book includes pictures of many of the things on display in the exhibition, as well as long descriptions of them, along with a forward by John Lasseter.

The “Dreams Come True – Art of the Classic Fairy Tales from the Walt Disney Studio” is available inside the NOMA gift shop as well as online, while supplies last, from NOMA here.

Museum admission for Louisiana residents with valid photo I.D. is $8 for adults, $7.50 for Seniors (65 and up), $5 for children 3-17, and children under 3 are free. NOMA members are also admitted for free, but the optional Audio Tour device costs members $3 while it is included in the cost of admission to non-members. Consult NOMA via their noma.org website for other information, including group tour discounts. Free parking is available.

I recommend you experience this once-in-a-lifetime exhibition, which cannot be seen anywhere else in North America, at the New Orleans Museum of Art during its delightful run from now through March 15, 2010. The excellence of Dreams Come True is due to it being organized by the Walt Disney Animation Research Library and the New Orleans Museum of Art.

What do you think about this? Please leave a comment!

There’s a new forum I’m posting in called Six Words Saturday. You post something about yourself or your life, or whatever is on your mind using only six words. Not only is this an interesting little concept, but it works out well for me, because I only have time to type about six words.

*Edited to cross out vampire words.

At Last: Dreams Do Come True!

Last Saturday, these two had a momentous event; A Baby Shower. After years of waiting, wishing and dreaming, their dream of having a child is finally coming true.

They got married in October, 2005. My birthday is in November. So from the first birthday after their wedding, my wish whenever I blew out my candles was for them to have a baby. I knew this was the most important thing in the world to Erika. She had always wanted to be a mommy. And I have wanted to be a grand mother to her child, ever since I met this beautiful angel of a girl.

And now my wish and her dream – is about to come true.

Have I ever told you how much I live JE? Johnny’s Entertainment! Japan’s number one male group agency! Hit groups such as SMAP, V6, ARASHI, NewS. KinKi Kids and many more! You gotta love them right? xD. Now I want to share to you guys the songs I have of some JE groups that I know and LOVE~!

Here’s the 1st batch of my JE Collection; the Hey! Say! section!

DOWNLOAD: (MF links)

=Hey! Say! 7=
*The predecessor of Hey! Say! JUMP, consisting of members Yamada Ryosuke, Nakajima Yuto, Chinen Yuuri, Airioka Daiki, and Takaki Yuya, they are now part of the group Hey! Say! JUMP.

< Hey! Say! 7 – Hey! Say!.mp3
< Hey! Say! 7 – BON BON.mp3
< Hey! Say! 7 – Iをくれ (I wo Kure).mp3

=Hey! Say! JUMP=
*A 10 member group and is the successor of the pre-debut group Hey! Say! 7. JUMP is divided into two sub-groups following V6. The name Hey! Say! 7 was recycled for the younger sub-group and Hey! Say! BEST for the other elder 5.

Ultra Music Power (UMP) Debut Single

< Hey! Say! JUMP – Ultra Music Power.mp3
< Hey! Say! JUMP – Star Time.mp3
< Hey! Say! JUMP – Too Shy.mp3

Dreams Come True Single

< Hey! Say! JUMP – Dreams Come True.mp3

Your Seed/冒険ライダー Single

< Hey! Say! JUMP – Your Seed.mp3
< Hey! Say! JUMP – 冒険ライダー (Bouken Rider).mp3

真夜中のシャドーボーイ (Mayonaka no Shadow Boy) Single

< Hey! Say! JUMP – 真夜中のシャドーボーイ (Mayonaka no Shadow Boy).mp3
< Hey! Say! JUMP – スクール革命 (School Kakumei).mp3
< Hey! Say! JUMP – Deep Night 君思う (Deep Night Thinking of You).mp3

from Shounen Club

< Hey! Say! JUMP – トビラの向こう.mp3

more coming up next.!

I’m not new to Dreams Come True, but I never really listened to more than a handful of their songs all in which I thought were good, so I kind a think their huge popularity in Japan is pretty much founded. I went into Sono Saki e feat. FUZZY CONTROL with absolutely no expections, because normally when I try out artists I have never really taken the time to listen to, I always find myself bored, because their is a certain sound my ears like and if whatever I’m listening to is not up to par, I admittedly abandon it and go back to what’s familiar, its almost like a bad habit, so I end up ignoring a few potentially good artists, because one song didn’t meet up to my expectations. This is different, because this song is pretty good. The arrangement gives off a rather carefree and feel good atmosphere, while at the same time coming across as relatively serious. It manages to stay consistent and keep my attention without becoming boring, or background fodder. Yoshida’s vocals were really nice, a bit powerful as well and I thought she really got into the song and brought it out, because I absolutely adored the chorus and the climax was wonderful. Yoshida’s is a voice I can get use to.  This was a good a-side, and I don’t hear too many of those.

The second track on the album is DREAMS COME TRUE CONCERT TOUR 2009 “Dori Shitemasu?” SPECIAL MEDLEY of some old classics I suppose that spans a whopping twenty-one minutes. It was pretty interesting, but I think its only a real treat for the fans, me being new, I honestly couldn’t appreciate it enough and was relieved when it was finally over.

Sono Saki e

One of the phrases that I heard a lot from my friends and family before I left for Paris was, “wow! I can’t believe you are FINALLY doing this! For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve talked about going!”

This is a true statement.

I was the teenage girl with Eiffel Towers EVERYWHERE in my room, when I went to college – it only got worse, and even now I have at least one room in my house (usually the kitchen – oddly enough) devoted to Parisian photos and the Eiffel Tower.  I don’t know what it is about that structure, but it just speaks to me.  I love it.

So, having surrounded myself with images, lamps, ornaments, bottles, and key chains of the Tour Eiffel for well over a decade, I was very excited to see it in person – face to face.  I’ve always joked that I would give it a big hug once I saw it.  (…I didn’t…or rather, I couldn’t.)

I decided Monday was the day, to finally meet it in person.  It was an odd phenomenon, coming to terms with making this dream of mine a reality.  I’d finally get to meet this structure that has been in my life longer than most of my friends…that’s a lot of pressure.

When I was describing my day to a friend back home, I used an analogy that seemed quite fitting for when I finally saw it in front of me:  “We’ve all had those jobs, retail-customer service type jobs, where you see loads of people all day long, and you have to put on this sort of ’show’ – and then one day, unexpectedly, one of your good friends walks in – and for a split second you don’t even recognize them, your brain has to reprocess itself so that your eyes understand that who you are seeing is someone familiar.  Well…that is pretty much what happened…”

I was walking by a construction site of all things, and I knew I as close, but I was heading in the wrong direction.  I turned towards the construction site to try to get my bearings, and I see the top of the tower…I thought it was what they were building.  And then it just hit me – that’s it!

…this was a HUGE goal of mine, to see the Eiffel Tower, and to be in Paris.  And I did it – with help from the most amazing friends and family a girl could ever ask for, I made it here.  Before Monday, the Eiffel Tower was a symbol of my dreams and aspirations – now, it is a symbol of my accomplishments.  It’s an amazing feeling.

Hopefully a more food related post next time guys, thanks for humoring me with all of my ‘touristy’ stuff.

Is there anyone who still believe in fairy tales like “and they lived happily ever after” or in “to be trully loved and to love whoever you wish”?  I do believe now that this stories are for kids and for those people who live in a dreamy world,  unfortunately, is a bogus world from this point of view, and if is not the same for you, cherish with all of your soul what you have…

Is there such thing subconscious mind? The way i see it, it’s actually something that came across your mind because your heart secretly wanted it…or it also can be the opposite side, scared if it’s going to happened.

I’m sure you have gone through this.

You’re going to work. You saw your file that you’re supposed to bring to work on the table. So you were thinking..let me just grab my keys and shoes..but then i might forget the file..hmm maybe not.

You grabbed the keys and shoes and tada…you left the file.

So your subconscious mind have warned you “…i might forget the file…”

If you’ve seen or read The Secret, they said “The Universe just granted your wish without knowing whether its bad or good for you..”

It’s the same concept you see? The Law of Attraction.

Think only Positive things. Try to fight the negative vibes in you. If you ever had to talk to someone who’s complaining all day, try to inject all the positive energy you can.

Let me give you another example; let say you came across a contest. but you kept flipping. Suddenly you heard a BIG voice in your head saying “Try enter the contest, you might be lucky”.

Thats your subconscious mind. So when you heard or felt that. Just go for it!…and not just that, BELIEVE that you are going to WIN it!

Same applies to your dreams

Go ahead and chase them.

amare il mare
Spesso mi sono chiesta per quale motivo mi senta così attratta dal mare. Io, che sono nata tra le montagne. Sì, sì… sulle rive di un lago, certo…  ma non è la stessa cosa.
L’aria salmastra mi fa vibrare le narici, la brezza marina mi solletica le viscere e il rumore delle onde mi addormenta l’emisfero destro del cervello, risvegliando sensazioni di piacere istintivo, quasi primordiale.
Uno dei miei ricordi più belli è collegato a un bagno nel mare della Croazia: credo fosse il 2002 o forse il 2003 -chissà, sembra un’altra vita- in quell’estate fenomenale, in cui le acque del mediterraneo raggiunsero temperature tropicali.
E neanche ai tropici ho provato un altrettanto piacevole sensazione di galleggiamento in una sorta di brodo primordiale, ricco di sali, di essenze, di vita.

Così, pour plaisanter, mi sono sempre detta che la cicogna deve avermi persa per strada durante qualche sua migrazione. Perché, non c’è ombra di dubbio, il sangue che mi scorre nelle vene è salato.
Un’altra cosa che mi sono sempre detta è che pima o poi sarei riuscìta ad andare a vivere al mare. Ma si sa….. i sogni son desideri, di felicità… ♬ ♪ ♫

Do you know the feeling? You heard about a great idea, you went to the training and now you are overwhelmed with information. Now what? What is the next step in order to reach your goal? It sounds like an awful amount of work – is it worth it?
Breath in and out. Yes, it is worth it. Every step of the way is worth it. Let me show you what to do step by step. I can help you to make your dreams come true. It will be some work. But you will not regret it.

Masato Nakamura, baixista do Dreams Come True,  e Maki, ex-vocalista do HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR, tiveram seu primeiro filho juntos. Segundo um post publicado domingo no blog do baixista, Maki deu a luz  a seu primeiro filho, no dia 10 de outubro em um hospital em Okinawa, no entanto, ainda não se sabe se o bebê  é um menino ou uma menina.

O casal que supreendeu a todos quando anunciaram seu casamento em junho, depois de terem se conhecido apenas  num período de três meses. Em abril deste ano, foi anunciado de que Maki estaria grávida,  e ela voltou para sua casa em Okinawa (sua terra natal) durante o verão para se preparar para o parto. Nakamura também ficou ao lado dela em Okinawa desde setembro para apoiá-la.

Fonte: J-Music Revolution, aramatheydidnt!

Créditos: Jstation

Having watched Kngdmhrts55’s Top 200 J-pop PV’s (Part 2 of the Youtube videos coming up soon) I thought I’d make my own favorite Top 100 J-pop song countdown. Some of the songs are album tracks only (I’ll put an asterisk by the song title to differentiate from those that have been released as singles). It’s quite a varied list with idol groups, boybands, rock groups and so forth all featuring in it. So here we go with my all time fav J-pop songs starting with:

100: Morning Musume – Kanashimi Twilight
99: Yousui Inoue – Shonen Jidai
98: Yamashita Tomohisa – Daite Senorita
97: Aimmy – Blue Vibration
96: AKB48 – Iiwake Maybe
95: Sawa – Stars
94: L’arc En Ciel – Forbidden Lover
93: Thyme – Hello
92: Perfume – GAME
91: Mai Kuraki – Never Gonna Give You Up
90: Southern All Stars – I Am Your Singer
89: Exile – Fly Away
88: Yui – Cherry
87: Stereopony – Namida no Mukou
86: Exile – Fireworks
85: Wink – Ai Ga Tomaranai
84: SweetS – Sky
83: L’arc En Ciel – Driver’s High
82: X-Japan – Tears
81: Miho Fukuhara – Love!Winter Song
80: KAT-TUN – Keep The Faith
79: Dreams Come True – Sono Sake E
78: Perfume – Electro World
77: Rina Aiuchi – Navy Blue
76: L’arc En Ciel – My Heart Draws A Dream
75: Namie Amuro – Do Me More *
74: Hyde – The Cape Of Storms
73: Ami Suzuki – Potential Break Up Song
72: Meisa Kuroki – Shock ~Unmei~
71: UVERworld – Shamrock
70: RSP – A Street Story
69: Rie Tanaka – Fields Of Hope
68: angela – Dear My Best Friend *
67: Momoi Haruka – Mail Me
66: The Possible – Shiawase no Katachi
65: Perfume – Polyrhythm
64: NEWS – Bambina
63: My Little Lover – Otono nai Sekai
62: Hitomi Shimatani – Camellia
61: Olivia – Starless Night
60: NEWS – Summer Time
59: Dreams Come True – Goodbye My School Days
58: alan – Sora Uta
57: Buck Tick – Heaven
56: Perfume – Take Me Take Me *
55: Ai Otsuka – Yumekui
54: marino – Flavor
53: Maki Goto ft Sweet Black – Lady Rise
52: Ayumi Hamasaki – Fairyland
51: Koda Kumi – Taboo
50: Aiko – Kabutomushi
49: Hikaru Utada – Take 5 *
48: Shuuchushin – Yowamushi Santa
47: M.O.V.E – Romancing Train
46: Chihiro Onitsuka – Memai
45: Angela Aki – Tegami
44: Tokio – Sorafune
43: Lindberg – Believe In Love
42: Yui – My Generation
41: The Brilliant Green – Kuroi Tsubasa *
40: Namie Amuro – Rock Steady
39: Koda Kumi – No Tricks *
38: Jasmine – Sad To Say
37: Miki Fujimoto – Okitegami
36: M.O.V.E – Dogfight
35: MiCHi – Promise
34: Takashi Sorimachi – Poison
33: AKB48 – River
32: K – Almost Human
31: Erika Sawajiri – Free
30: Ayumi Hamasaki – Days
29: Yui – Tomorrow’s Way *
28: Kotoko – We Survive
27: Hikaru Utada – Passion
26: Scandal – Space Ranger
25: Namie Amuro/Double – Black Diamond
24: Hikaru Utada – Prisoner Of Love
23: Mr Children – Hanabi
22: Dream – I Love Dream World
21: Koda Kumi – Freaky
20: Nana Mizuki – Heaven Knows
19: MiCHi – Change The World
18: AKB48 – Sakura no Hanabiratachi
17: Perfume – Secret Secret
16: Acid Black Cherry – Nemure Hime
15: Mika Nakashima – Glamorous Sky
14: Perfume x Momoi Haruko – Akihabalove *
13: Ami Suzuki – True *
12: D.D.D – Heart
11: Zone – Secret Base
10: Namie Amuro – Baby Don’t Cry
9: Erika Sawajiri – Destination Nowhere
8: Yuna Ito – Brand New World
7: hitomi – Wish
6: Yumi Matsutoya – Hello My Friend
5: Hikaru Utada – Flavor Of Life
4: Lindberg – Mine *
3: Soulja feat Thelma Aoyoma – Koko ni Iruya
2: Hikaru Utada – Heart Station
1: Perfume – Dream Fighter

Yes, Perfume are at no.1 with Dream Fighter. I adore the song, listened to it so many times and I don’t think Perfume will ever top that song with whatever they release in the future.

Feel free to tell me what you think about the countdown.

I rarely wished for having anything. Maybe because I was simple, contented with everything as it is and not greedy. And if I really made a wish, it would come true for me. Somebody told me before when I was twenty five years old, that my thoughts and speech is very powerful, be careful for what I wish for, that I should only have good wishes and not to have bad thoughts for others.  Whether I believe in that or not is not important. But since I was a little girl, there were many times when I felt something (good or bad energy of a person or a place) or thought of something (whether good or bad thoughts), it did come true. And so, I tried to control my anger and the mind so that I won’t hurt anybody.

In another believe, I believe that everything happens according to each individual karma, that no one can interfere with others karma or create good or bad karma for others. We all are the creator for our own karma  and our own fate. And those thoughts or visions that I had were somehow some future predictions just to acknowledge me, to prevent myself from getting into troubles. This means those happenings around me whether they were good or bad, they were meant to happened due to the karma. And I was just being able to sense what was going to happen by having visions and feelings about them before they actually happened. They didn’t cause by me. By this, I had stopped blaming myself for others unfortunate happenings. Because during the time when I was depressed and angry, I had cursed many people with bad wishes intentionally full of hatred. And usually all my heart wishes came true. Which made me later blaming myself for having bad wishes or bad thoughts about other people. Not just bad happenings but also good happenings. I would have good thoughts or feelings about something good was going to happen, and they did happened.

It all doesn’t matter now because all these are already the past. I have to forgive myself and let the past go. Whether I had intentionally did caused somebody’s unfortunates or caused somebody’s happiness, it doesn’t matter now. I will accept all the karma upon me or be responsible for the consequences of my own actions if I did cause somebody’s pain.  Again I realized that even though I thought I was the one that had caused somebody’s pain, it was their karma also to have such pain and I was just happened to be the instrument. Most important is that I realized my wrong doings in the past and I repent, forgive myself for hurting others intentionally or unintentionally,  forgive those who had hurt me intentionally or unintentionally, and let go the past and move on with clearer understanding.

I found out that even though I knew many things that were going to happened before they happen, I couldn’t change anything, I couldn’t stopped things from happening, I couldn’t change other people’s karma. I knew that my mother was going to suffer stroke attack. I dreamed about her with her face half paralyzed one week before that happened. I felt something strong about bad happening onto my father when he was actually encountering an accident at the same time. I felt strongly about my sister, brother in law, and my brother’s fate.  I knew that my brother in law was going to bring suffering into our family. I told my parents about my feelings when I first met him when I was eleven years old. My parents ignored me. But they realized that I was right afterward. Some times I felt about people on the street as well. Many times when I thought of something, it would be materialized.

I had visions about thieves coming into my aerobics studio just the night before it happened. It helped me to prevent myself from loss of money or injury. Because about two weeks before it happened, I asked my mother to bring home the cash that we usually kept in the studio. And usually I would sleep in the studio and not going home, but I started to go home to sleep just a few weeks before. And on that night when I closed up the studio, I saw shadows or images of people in the studio and in the stairway. The next morning when I arrived at the studio, many policemen were there and told me that my studio and the office downstairs had been broken in. They asked me to see if I lost anything. Nope. Just a mess everywhere when the burglars searched for valuables, but they didn’t take anything because nothing seemed valuable for them there. And they didn’t damage anything in my studio beside they broke the door to come in. The policemen said that I was lucky, because the office downstairs had lost a lot of cash and valuables.

And with this six sense, I could change my own karma. I just knew that something good or bad was going to happen. If these happenings were about myself, I did prevented many bad happenings. But if it was about my parents, or my sister and brothers, or my friends and the people on the street that I met, I could only know but I couldn’t changed their karma, unless they wanted to help themselves and did something about it.

One day, I felt that all these visions and predictions were actually given me more disturbance than to give me and other people benefits. I didn’t know how to deal with these six sense or power of wish yet at that time. Because I could feel somebody’s feelings and energy easily.  I could have visions about things that going to happen. This had been disturbing me and when I told my friends about my visions about what was going to happen to them, they ignored me and pushed me away.  And when things really happened, they thought that it had got something to do with me, and afraid to be friend with me anymore. They thought that I was weird and evil.

And I realized that I wasn’t pure. I had lots of anger and hatred. I really didn’t want to hurt somebody with my anger and bad wishes whenever I was angry and deluded. And so, I had wished for this wishes come true thing to go away. At least for the time being when I was not pure and had no strong self-control. It did stopped troubling me for some times. But I continue to have feelings about places and people’s good and bad energy. Like I would felt dizziness and heaviness on my forehead when I was at a place full of negative energy. Another weird thing was, I could control my dream. I knew that I was dreaming in my dream. I could control what I wanted to dream about. I could repeat what I want to dream on the next day. I could have part one tonight, and continue my dream on part two tomorrow and so on. I could change the format or the storyline of my dream. I could remember my dream clearly when I woke up. Maybe I liked to play with my dreams when I was little, but I don’t bother about what I dream now. I stopped playing with my dreams when I went through the depression stage, although I still maintain some awareness in my dreams until now.

I did have some dreams or ambitions when I was little just like everybody else. I wanted to dance and sing and perform in front of the world. I wanted to be good enough to compete in International level dance competition. I wanted to be a dancing queen. I wanted to be a National champion at least once in my life time. I wanted to travel to many places in the world especially France. I wanted to live near the beach. I wanted to be happy.

My luck in competition was not good. I would play games and won every time if it was just for fun and not a formal competition. I would get an A+ for singing but was never being chosen for representing my class in school singing competition. But it doesn’t matter. Because I never mind about win or loose. I was just very passionate about performing and to strive my best in whatever I was doing. Honestly competition are of two types. One is very professional with good judges and fair judgment where you will win if you are the best. Another type is non-professional competition with unfair judgment, buyer judges, and lots of unhealthy things are going on behind the competition where you may not win even though technically you are the best.

I was around fifteen years old when I started to enter dance competitions even though I had not went through any formal training in dancing, because of my family financial problems. I didn’t do very well at the beginning but due to my inborn talent of music and dancing, I did get some attention from the audience. Until I went for the aerobics instructor course and worked for that yoga and aerobics dance academy, I got some experiences in stage performances and won a few prizes in national aerobics dance competition from second place to forth place but I never was the champion. Again I was not disappointed with that. I was really enjoying myself performing on the stage. All these happened when I was between sixteen years old to nineteen years old. After that I didn’t enter any competitions until I was twenty three years old.

It was the first official national aerobics championship organized by Reebok Malaysia in 1993.  I came fifth place. Technically I wasn’t good enough, because I didn’t have the technical skill and have no good choreography even though I was flexible, rhythmic, and good in dancing but not so in aerobics. And my performance had drew the attention of the affiliate of Reebok Malaysia. I needed a coach. I stopped entering any competitions after that due to huge responsibility to support my parents financially.

Until 1998 some time in March, I entered the aerobics marathon championship in a big shopping center where there were about forty participants. It didn’t require any choreography but stamina, strength, flexibility and performance. I have all these. And I won. For the first time I tasted the feeling of becoming a champion even though it is not an official national event. But it didn’t make me arrogant. But it was the beginning of the change of my luck. On the same day, a few professional aerobics instructors cum national champions were having performances at the national stadium. Both of our events were reported in the news paper on the next day. I had no idea that I would have a great affinity with these national champions later on.

A few months later unexpectedly, the Reebok Malaysia affiliate called me one day. She told me that a few people were training for the upcoming First National Sports Aerobics Championship in the national gymnastic federation training center. She asked me if I would be interested to join them. Yes. Without any hesitation, I answered. And she gave me the contact details and I had started my sports aerobics training with my mentor cum good friend.

He was the one who had helped me for my dream came true – representing Malaysia on the stage of world championship in 2002, and won the Malaysian Open Championship one month later. Usually anyone has to become a national champion then only he or she can represent the country for world championship, but in my case was the other way round. Strange, isn’t it? Without him, I wouldn’t had the chance to represent Malaysia and qualified for world championship. I have to admit that I wasn’t skillfully good enough. It all happened because it was my karma to be there and I was blessed to have my dream came true. When I won the National champion, it was mainly due to good luck beside I did have to work very hard on training for six days a week, three hours a day for one whole year.

Back to the training with these people for a few months. Not many people participated in this first sports aerobics competition in Malaysia. Only five of us. As usual, I came forth. I was happy enough for my performance – it was better than before. I really didn’t care so much about the placing. I learnt how to do proper push up and improved my overall strength and choreography even though it was still not good enough for competitive competition. What matter most was there was improvement and I really enjoy the training and the performing experience on stage. I would love to continue training in sports aerobics after the competition. But again my responsibility towards my family had been a huge burden for me. And so, I stopped training with them.

I was helping in a Buddhist library then. Somehow I had started giving dhamma talk to the people who came to the library for twice a month. And during one of the talk, I had made a resolution in front of many people that I wanted to be a Malaysian champion one day and qualified myself for world championship within the next five years. I had made a wish.

In the year 2000, my mentor went to Australia for further study. We all thought that it was finished for us in sports aerobics. I was already thirty years old. I thought that I was too old for any more training and competition, because sports aerobics is really tough. I thought I had to let go of my dream to be a champion. I stopped thinking about it since then.

And my family financial problem always troubling me that I didn’t have the heart for competition and I didn’t have the money for entering competition. We needed to spend quite a lot of money for the costume and for the world championship, we have to be self-support for the flight ticket and staying expenses. We didn’t get any cash sponsorship, except some products from Reebok. Thanks to Reebok, I could have the shoe for competition for free.

And so, I was busy with teaching aerobics classes but continue to give all the money that I earned to my family.

One day in the year 2001, I got a phone call from my mentor. He was back from Australia. He said to me that he wanted to retire from sports aerobics but would like to coach me if I am interested to continue training for the coming national championship. Well, Yes! Of course. It was my last opportunity to have my dream comes true.

And we started training again. It was so hard at the beginning, because I had not did any training for a long time. Sports aerobics is very different from normal aerobic exercise. It needs lots of strength and speed. It has some obligatory complicated skills requirement. But I was determined. We started training at my studio for a few days a week, for a few hours a day and slowly we increased the training to six days a week. At the beginning, our initial idea was he coached me, and I would enter the female individual category. And so, for the first two months I was doing all the strength and flexibility training under his coaching and we both choreographed the routine with the song that I chose, It’s Raining Man. At the same time I always thought that he was so talented and he shouldn’t give up competing at his age. He is still strong and flexible. He was the best in Malaysia for many years. He was Malaysian champion for many consecutive years and had achieved good result in world championship.

And so, I suggested to him that he also do the training with me together to keep himself fit and at the same time to motivate me to work harder.  He agreed. And while we did the routine together, we found that actually it was much more nicer when we do it as a partner routine than to be a single routine. And I had convinced him to cancel his idea of retiring and to partner with me in that routine to enter the mix pair category rather than the individual category. And so, we worked together for many months thinking that there would be a national championship coming up. Nope. Just a few months before the world championship in June 2002, we were told that the national championship was canceled due to no sponsorship. But due to he was Malaysian champion all the time, he was eligible to represent Malaysia without the need of going through national championship in that case. So he suggested that we continue practice to enter the world championship. That’s how I was able to represent Malaysia and participated in the world championship. I didn’t even need to be a Malaysian champion to do that. I owed it to him. And I also suggested to him, since we were going for the world championship, he should prepare himself for individual category as well. And he agreed. We continued our training with our best effort.

Anyhow, the training wasn’t going very smooth all the time. I got injured a few times. But I didn’t give up. Some other friends had came to assist us in the training. And they gave me lots of pressure telling me that I need to be good enough for him and good enough for Malaysia. And so, I worked really hard. At the beginning, I could only do maximum ten push ups. But by the end of my training, I could do 50 push ups easily.

Just about two months before the world championship, one of his best friend who was also a Malaysian champion before, told him that I wasn’t good enough for him and would pull him down from his level, and he should just concentrate on his own individual category. He came to tell me about that. I was very disappointed and angry as well. But I kept my emotional down and I told him, no. I wanted to continue after so many months of training and it was only two more months to go. I was ready to worked harder. And so, we continued our training together.

At the beginning, when we decided to go for the world championship in France, I really didn’t have any savings. I need about eight thousands ringgit Malaysia for the entire trip. Somehow, I didn’t have to support my parents anymore for that few months. My sister had received some money from the insurance for my brother in-law death from an accident at work about ten years ago. He fell down from 130 feet high and died immediately with all his bone crashed to pieces (Actually just two days before his death, I saw his face was covered in black clouds that I couldn’t see his face at all. I didn’t mention anything about it to my family until his death). And so, I was dismissed from giving all my money to my parents, and I could save enough money for the trip.

The competition day was close. We finally finished our routine in one piece. When we practiced, we didn’t do the whole routine every time. We did it part by part. Keep practicing one part of it until we were good, then we would add another part into it.

We arrived at the competition venue one day ahead of the competition and did our practice with many other contestants from many countries. Everyone was a champion there except me. But I wasn’t panic or scared. I was very confident. The other people saw our routine and were very kind to us and told us that part of our routine need to be changed because it was against the rules. Ooh!

It didn’t stop us. Immediately we thought of other steps and practiced it by hard. We practiced until late at night until we were confident of the new steps. And the next morning, we were ready. Just before they called our names, we told each other, no matter what happens, just keep going and do our best, and enjoy. As soon as I walked onto the stage seeing so many people in the stadium with many judges in front of the stage, with many spot lights heading us, I told myself, my dream came true. Nothing to be afraid of. Just do my best and enjoy…

In the middle of our routine, one of his shoes accidentally came off which caused some deduction of points. But it didn’t matter. We didn’t panic and continue our routine. At the beginning, not many people noticed that his shoe was on the stage because we didn’t stop or made any mistakes or expression. We were very natural like nothing happened. But not long, everyone were talking about it, and all the people in the whole stadium stood up and paid full attention onto us. They cheered for us and clapped to support us. We were thrilled and so touched with the supports from the entire crowd in the stadium. We could hear all those cheers and claps. We danced more energetically. We finished the routine with the loudest applause. We came tenth place out of thirteen teams. But we were satisfied with our performance even though an accident happened. I didn’t blamed him at all. How could I? And he said that it was his most enjoyable and memorable performance.

After the competition finished, we drove around the southern part of France and visited many beautiful places. For me, I had never been to anywhere out of Malaysia except Singapore. That was my first time flying in an airplane as well. I was never able to afford such traveling until then. And it was my dream to be in France. I had two dreams came true together.

After two weeks of traveling in France, we came back to Malaysia. On the next day, my mentor called me and told me that there was a national open championship coming up in one month time in Sarawak, East Malaysia. Since I had been training regularly, I should keep it up and do that competition as well. Why not? I had not become a Malaysian champion yet. But this time, I was really confident and without any pressure. I need to make some changes to the routine because it has different rules. But it was not a problem. I prepared myself for my next dream to come true.

In that competition, I supposed to have a strong competitor, a guy who was many times champion for that particular championship. He was technically stronger than I. Somehow a week before the competition, he injured his wrist during training. And so, he pulled out. What can I say? It was my luck to win in that competition. It was my karma to be a champion on that day. It was a blessing from God. A gift from the universe to convinced me that my dreams can come true . My wishes can come true. All I need to do is believe. I can change my fate and have control of my own destiny. I wasn’t the best one, honestly. Although I did my best and worked very hard. But things happened naturally if that’s the way it was. And I did. I was given the Malaysian champion title for that year, after I represent Malaysia in the world championship accidentally.

Thanks to my mentor, thanks to everyone who involved in this great adventure of having my dreams came true. May all of your dreams come true as well.

To have our wishes come true, is to have our heart purified first. Have love and peace in our heart, be generous towards other beings. Have good will and good thoughts for all beings. Have patience and forgiveness. Then all our wishes will come true.

I wanted to live near the beach, and here I am now living in a wooden Malay house  just about 10 minutes walk away from the beach.

I wanted to be happy, and I am happy.

I had a funny thought since I was a little girl, which was I believed that my future husband or life partner will be two years older than me and I always felt that he is somewhere faraway. And it came true. My husband is two years older than me and he is from Ireland, the other side of the world faraway from Malaysia.

And for my other adventures, it shall be continued on the next chapter.

This video below was our routine in the world championship 2002.

I rarely wished for having anything. Maybe because I was simple, contented with everything as it is and not greedy. And if I really made a wish, it would come true for me. Somebody told me before when I was twenty five years old, that my thoughts and speech is very powerful, be careful for what I wish for, that I should only have good wishes and not to have bad thoughts for others. Whether I believe in that or not is not important. But since I was a little girl, there were many times when I felt something (good or bad energy of a person or a place) or thought of something (whether good or bad thoughts), it did come true. And so, I tried to control my anger and the mind so that I won’t hurt anybody.

In another believe, I believe that everything happens according to each individual karma, that no one can interfere with others karma or create good or bad karma for others. We all are the creator for our own karma and our own fate. And those thoughts or visions that I had were somehow some future predictions just to acknowledge me, to prevent myself from getting into troubles. This means those happenings around me whether they were good or bad, they were meant to happened due to the karma. And I was just being able to sense what was going to happen by having visions and feelings about them before they actually happened. They didn’t cause by me. By this, I had stopped blaming myself for others unfortunate happenings. Because during the time when I was depressed and angry, I had cursed many people with bad wishes intentionally full of hatred. And usually all my heart wishes came true. Which made me later blaming myself for having bad wishes or bad thoughts about other people. Not just bad happenings but also good happenings. I would have good thoughts or feelings about something good was going to happen, and they did happened.

It all doesn’t matter now because all these are already the past. I have to forgive myself and let the past go. Whether I had intentionally did caused somebody’s unfortunates or caused somebody’s happiness, it doesn’t matter now. I will accept all the karma upon me or be responsible for the consequences of my own actions if I did cause somebody’s pain. Again I realized that even though I thought I was the one that had caused somebody’s pain, it was their karma also to have such pain and I was just happened to be the instrument. Most important is that I realized my wrong doings in the past and I repent, forgive myself for hurting others intentionally or unintentionally, forgive those who had hurt me intentionally or unintentionally, and let go the past and move on with clearer understanding.

I found out that even though I knew many things that were going to happened before they happen, I couldn’t change anything, I couldn’t stopped things from happening, I couldn’t change other people’s karma. I knew that my mother was going to suffer stroke attack. I dreamed about her with her face half paralyzed one week before that happened. I felt something strong about bad happening onto my father when he was actually encountering an accident at the same time. I felt strongly about my sister, brother in law, and my brother’s fate. I knew that my brother in law was going to bring suffering into our family. I told my parents about my feelings when I first met him when I was eleven years old. My parents ignored me. But they realized that I was right afterward. Some times I felt about people on the street as well. Many times when I thought of something, it would be materialized.

I had visions about thieves coming into my aerobics studio just the night before it happened. It helped me to prevent myself from loss of money or injury. Because about two weeks before it happened, I asked my mother to bring home the cash that we usually kept in the studio. And usually I would sleep in the studio and not going home, but I started to go home to sleep just a few weeks before. And on that night when I closed up the studio, I saw shadows or images of people in the studio and in the stairway. The next morning when I arrived at the studio, many policemen were there and told me that my studio and the office downstairs had been broken in. They asked me to see if I lost anything. Nope. Just a mess everywhere when the burglars searched for valuables, but they didn’t take anything because nothing seemed valuable for them there. And they didn’t damage anything in my studio beside they broke the door to come in. The policemen said that I was lucky, because the office downstairs had lost a lot of cash and valuables.

And with this six sense, I could change my own karma. I just knew that something good or bad was going to happen. If these happenings were about myself, I did prevented many bad happenings. But if it was about my parents, or my sister and brothers, or my friends and the people on the street that I met, I could only know but I couldn’t changed their karma, unless they wanted to help themselves and did something about it.

One day, I felt that all these visions and predictions were actually given me more disturbance than to give me and other people benefits. I didn’t know how to deal with these six sense or power of wish yet at that time. Because I could feel somebody’s feelings and energy easily. I could have visions about things that going to happen. This had been disturbing me and when I told my friends about my visions about what was going to happen to them, they ignored me and pushed me away. And when things really happened, they thought that it had got something to do with me, and afraid to be friend with me anymore. They thought that I was weird and evil.

And I realized that I wasn’t pure. I had lots of anger and hatred. I really didn’t want to hurt somebody with my anger and bad wishes whenever I was angry and deluded. And so, I had wished for this wishes come true thing to go away. At least for the time being when I was not pure and had no strong self-control. It did stopped troubling me for some times. But I continue to have feelings about places and people’s good and bad energy. Like I would felt dizziness and heaviness on my forehead when I was at a place full of negative energy. Another weird thing was, I could control my dream. I knew that I was dreaming in my dream. I could control what I wanted to dream about. I could repeat what I want to dream on the next day. I could have part one tonight, and continue my dream on part two tomorrow and so on. I could change the format or the storyline of my dream. I could remember my dream clearly when I woke up. Maybe I liked to play with my dreams when I was little, but I don’t bother about what I dream now. I stopped playing with my dreams when I went through the depression stage, although I still maintain some awareness in my dreams until now.

I did have some dreams or ambitions when I was little just like everybody else. I wanted to dance and sing and perform in front of the world. I wanted to be good enough to compete in International level dance competition. I wanted to be a dancing queen. I wanted to be a National champion at least once in my life time. I wanted to travel to many places in the world especially France. I wanted to live near the beach. I wanted to be happy.

My luck in competition was not good. I would play games and won every time if it was just for fun and not a formal competition. I would get an A+ for singing but was never being chosen for representing my class in school singing competition. But it doesn’t matter. Because I never mind about win or loose. I was just very passionate about performing and to strive my best in whatever I was doing. Honestly competition are of two types. One is very professional with good judges and fair judgment where you will win if you are the best. Another type is non-professional competition with unfair judgment, buyer judges, and lots of unhealthy things are going on behind the competition where you may not win even though technically you are the best.

I was around fifteen years old when I started to enter dance competitions even though I had not went through any formal training in dancing, because of my family financial problems. I didn’t do very well at the beginning but due to my inborn talent of music and dancing, I did get some attention from the audience. Until I went for the aerobics instructor course and worked for that yoga and aerobics dance academy, I got some experiences in stage performances and won a few prizes in national aerobics dance competition from second place to forth place but I never was the champion. Again I was not disappointed with that. I was really enjoying myself performing on the stage. All these happened when I was between sixteen years old to nineteen years old. After that I didn’t enter any competitions until I was twenty three years old.

It was the first official national aerobics championship organized by Reebok Malaysia in 1993. I came fifth place. Technically I wasn’t good enough, because I didn’t have the technical skill and have no good choreography even though I was flexible, rhythmic, and good in dancing but not so in aerobics. And my performance had drew the attention of the affiliate of Reebok Malaysia. I needed a coach. I stopped entering any competitions after that due to huge responsibility to support my parents financially.

Until 1998 some time in March, I entered the aerobics marathon championship in a big shopping center where there were about forty participants. It didn’t require any choreography but stamina, strength, flexibility and performance. I have all these. And I won. For the first time I tasted the feeling of becoming a champion even though it is not an official national event. But it didn’t make me arrogant. But it was the beginning of the change of my luck. On the same day, a few professional aerobics instructors cum national champions were having performances at the national stadium. Both of our events were reported in the news paper on the next day. I had no idea that I would have a great affinity with these national champions later on.

A few months later unexpectedly, the Reebok Malaysia affiliate called me one day. She told me that a few people were training for the upcoming First National Sports Aerobics Championship in the national gymnastic federation training center. She asked me if I would be interested to join them. Yes. Without any hesitation, I answered. And she gave me the contact details and I had started my sports aerobics training with my mentor cum good friend.

He was the one who had helped me for my dreams came true – representing Malaysia on the stage of world championship in 2002, and won the Malaysian Open Championship one month later. Usually anyone has to become a national champion then only he or she can represent the country for world championship, but in my case was the other way round. Strange, isn’t it? Without him, I wouldn’t had the chance to represent Malaysia and qualified for world championship. I have to admit that I wasn’t skillfully good enough. It all happened because it was my karma to be there and I was blessed to have my dream came true. When I won the National champion, it was mainly due to good luck beside I did have to work very hard on training for six days a week, three hours a day for one whole year.

Back to the training with these people for a few months. Not many people participated in this first sports aerobics competition in Malaysia. Only five of us. As usual, I came forth. I was happy enough for my performance – it was better than before. I really didn’t care so much about the placing. I learnt how to do proper push up and improved my overall strength and choreography even though it was still not good enough for competitive competition. What matter most was there was improvement and I really enjoy the training and the performing experience on stage. I would love to continue training in sports aerobics after the competition. But again my responsibility towards my family had been a huge burden for me. And so, I stopped training with them.

I was helping in a Buddhist library then. Somehow I had started giving dhamma talk to the people who came to the library for twice a month. And during one of the talk, I had made a resolution in front of many people that I wanted to be a Malaysian champion one day and qualified myself for world championship within the next five years. I had made a wish.

In the year 2000, my mentor went to Australia for further study. We all thought that it was finished for us in sports aerobics. I was already thirty years old. I thought that I was too old for any more training and competition, because sports aerobics is really tough. I thought I had to let go of my dream to be a champion. I stopped thinking about it since then.

And my family financial problem always troubling me that I didn’t have the heart for competition and I didn’t have the money for entering competition. We needed to spend quite a lot of money for the costume and for the world championship, we have to be self-support for the flight ticket and staying expenses. We didn’t get any cash sponsorship, except some products from Reebok. Thanks to Reebok, I could have the shoe for competition for free.

And so, I was busy with teaching aerobics classes but continue to give all the money that I earned to my family.

One day in the year 2001, I got a phone call from my mentor. He was back from Australia. He said to me that he wanted to retire from sports aerobics but would like to coach me if I am interested to continue training for the coming national championship. Well, Yes! Of course. It was my last opportunity to have my dream comes true.

And we started training again. It was so hard at the beginning, because I had not did any training for a long time. Sports aerobics is very different from normal aerobic exercise. It needs lots of strength and speed. It has some obligatory complicated skills requirement. But I was determined. We started training at my studio for a few days a week, for a few hours a day and slowly we increased the training to six days a week. At the beginning, our initial idea was he coached me, and I would enter the female individual category. And so, for the first two months I was doing all the strength and flexibility training under his coaching and we both choreographed the routine with the song that I chose, It’s Raining Man. At the same time I always thought that he was so talented and he shouldn’t give up competing at his age. He is still strong and flexible. He was the best in Malaysia for many years. He was Malaysian champion for many consecutive years and had achieved good result in world championship.

And so, I suggested to him that he also do the training with me together to keep himself fit and at the same time to motivate me to work harder. He agreed. And while we did the routine together, we found that actually it was much more nicer when we do it as a partner routine than to be a single routine. And I had convinced him to cancel his idea of retiring and to partner with me in that routine to enter the mix pair category rather than the individual category. And so, we worked together for many months thinking that there would be a national championship coming up. Nope. Just a few months before the world championship in June 2002, we were told that the national championship was canceled due to no sponsorship. But due to he was Malaysian champion all the time, he was eligible to represent Malaysia without the need of going through national championship in that case. So he suggested that we continue practice to enter the world championship. That’s how I was able to represent Malaysia and participated in the world championship. I didn’t even need to be a Malaysian champion to do that. I owed it to him. And I also suggested to him, since we were going for the world championship, he should prepare himself for individual category as well. And he agreed. We continued our training with our best effort.

Anyhow, the training wasn’t going very smooth all the time. I got injured a few times. But I didn’t give up. Some other friends had came to assist us in the training. And they gave me lots of pressure telling me that I need to be good enough for him and good enough for Malaysia. And so, I worked really hard. At the beginning, I can only do maximum ten push ups. But by the end of my training, I could do 50 push ups easily.

Just about two months before the world championship, one of his best friend who was also a Malaysian champion before, told him that I wasn’t good enough for him and would pull him down from his level, and he should just concentrate on his own individual category. He came to tell me about that. I was very disappointed and angry as well. But I kept my emotional down and I told him, no. I wanted to continue after so many months of training and it was only two more months to go. I was ready to worked harder. And so, we continued our training together.

At the beginning, when we decided to go for the world championship in France, I really didn’t have any savings. I need about eight thousands ringgit Malaysia for the entire trip. Somehow, I didn’t have to support my parents anymore for that few months. My sister had received some money from the insurance for my brother in-law death from an accident at work about ten years ago. He fell down from 130 feet high and died immediately with all his bone crashed to pieces (Actually just two days before his death, I saw his face was covered in black clouds that I couldn’t see his face at all. I didn’t mention anything about it to my family until his death). And so, I was dismissed from giving all my money to my parents, and I could save enough money for the trip.

The competition day was close. We finally finished our routine in one piece. When we practiced, we didn’t do the whole routine every time. We did it part by part. Keep practicing one part of it until we were good, then we would add another part into it.

We arrived at the competition venue one day ahead of the competition and did our practice with many other contestants from many countries. Everyone was a champion there except me. But I wasn’t panic or scared. I was very confident. The other people saw our routine and were very kind to us and told us that part of our routine need to be changed because it was against the rules. Ooh!

It didn’t stop us. Immediately we thought of other steps and practiced it by hard. We practiced until late at night until we were confident of the new steps. And the next morning, we were ready. Just before they called our names, we told each other, no matter what happens, just keep going and do our best, and enjoy. As soon as I walked onto the stage seeing so many people in the stadium with many judges in front of the stage, with many spot lights heading us, I told myself, my dream came true. Nothing to be afraid of. Just do my best and enjoy…

In the middle of our routine, one of his shoes accidentally came off which caused some deduction of points. But it didn’t matter. We didn’t panic and continue our routine. At the beginning, not many people noticed that his shoe was on the stage because we didn’t stop or made any mistakes or expression. We were very natural like nothing happened. But not long, everyone were talking about it, and all the people in the whole stadium stood up and paid full attention onto us. They cheered for us and clapped to support us. We were thrilled and so touched with the supports from the entire crowd in the stadium. We could hear all those cheers and claps. We danced more energetically. We finished the routine with the loudest applause. We came tenth place out of thirteen teams. But we were satisfied with our performance even though an accident happened. I didn’t blamed him at all. How could I? And he said that it was his most enjoyable and memorable performance.

After the competition finished, we drove around the southern part of France and visited many beautiful places. For me, I had never been to anywhere out of Malaysia except Singapore. That was my first time flying in an airplane as well. I was never able to afford such traveling until then. And it was my dream to be in France. I had two dreams came true together.

After two weeks of traveling in France, we came back to Malaysia. On the next day, my mentor called me and told me that there was a national open championship coming up in one month time in Sarawak, East Malaysia. Since I had been training regularly, I should keep it up and do that competition as well. Why not? I had not become a Malaysian champion yet. But this time, I was really confident and without any pressure. I need to make some changes to the routine because it has different rules. But it was not a problem. I prepared myself for my next dream to come true.

In that competition, I supposed to have a strong competitor, a guy who was many times champion for that particular championship. He was technically stronger than I. Somehow a week before the competition, he injured his wrist during training. And so, he pulled out. What can I say? It was my luck to win in that competition. It was my karma to be a champion on that day. It was a blessing from God. A gift from the universe to convinced me that my dreams can come true . My wishes can come true. All I need to do is believe. I can change my fate and have control of my own destiny. I wasn’t the best one, honestly. Although I did my best and worked very hard. But things happened naturally if that’s the way it was. And I did. I was given the Malaysian champion title for that year, after I represent Malaysia in the world championship accidentally.

Thanks to my mentor, thanks to everyone who involved in this great adventure of having my dreams came true. May all of your dreams come true as well.

To have our wishes come true, is to have our heart purified first. Have love and peace in our heart, be generous towards other beings. Have good will and good thoughts for all beings. Have patience and forgiveness. Then all our wishes will come true.

I wanted to live near the beach, and here I am now living in a wooden Malay house  just about 10 minutes walk away from the beach.

I wanted to be happy, and I am happy.

I had a funny thought since I was a little girl, which was I believed that my future husband or life partner will be two years older than me and I always felt that he is somewhere faraway. And it came true. My husband is two years older than me and he is from Ireland, the other side of the world faraway from Malaysia.

And for my other adventures, it shall be continued on the next chapter.

This video below was our routine in the world championship in 2002.