New Start

I’m getting back everything that is worth anything in my life, and I’m going to roll from there … wish me luck, it is so nice knowing I’m leaving all the bad behind, all the bad people and bad memories.

Excited I sit in front of my PC watching my world being put together like a puzzle that fell on the dirty floor and has to be rebuild. Every message and every little bit of details I read gets me more excited. Before it was me and my crazy mind of on a tangent I did not know what I needed, I was a fool, strange how time mixed with experience and a pinch of reality can make you really see what is important in your life.

… your hand in mine we’ll walk a mile

Soul mate, what a misused and misunderstood concept that is, how easy it is to call someone your soul mate, how easy to say that soul mates can never be together when things go wrong. I know what a soul mate is, well I believe I just realized what a soul mate is … it’s easy to explain, someone who is close to you in such a way that if they leave, you are incapable of achieving anything, of succeeding with anything and that would, with just a long distance nice word or two, inspire you to greatness, put your life together again and make you feel good about yourself.

Could I be me again? could this really be it! Yes it can, I have learned that my life is useless if I don’t have my mate, friend and heart with me … I shipped my heart off last year, and I never got it back, I was heartless for months now … tonight I am living with the joy of meeting up with my heart.

I have one life, oh man, and I almost wasted it … God bless my dearest for being the one to have kept my heart safe all this time … I owe you my life.

Wonder if someone is talking shit about you? Wonder if someone cares for you? Whether your friends will approve? Are you a conflict-avoidant? Have you become Spineless? Fuck that!

Dave Mustaine

Fact number 1. People are judging you right now

• People don’t like you, and guess what? There’s nothing you can do about it.
• People respect when you draw the line and say “you will go no further.”
• Why should you attempt to please people who don’t care for you in the first place?
• Most people don’t even care that you’re alive. Embrace this for it is true freedom.

Fact number 2. You don’t need everyone to like you

• Not only do most people not know that you exist, it totally does not matter even if they do.
• When people don’t like you, nothing actually happens. The world does not end.
• The more you ignore them and just go about your business, the better off you are.
• Not giving a fuck is a necessary precedent to a good life.

Fact number 3. It’s your people that matter

• You are in the obscenely small minority and don’t actually matter.
• Awesome,  now realize that the people who do care about you, and no one else are those you need to focus on.
• These people,  they understand your quest or your cause.
• They make you feel good when you’re around them, make you laugh or they make you feel relaxed or at ease.
• They’re important.

Fact number 4. Those who don’t give a fuck change the world

• Simply realize that your obstacle is unimportant, and that it can be dismissed.
• If you dismiss the things that do not matter only then will you be able to get to the finish line.
• Otherwise, you will be dissuaded into living a life you aren’t interested in.
• You need to handle failure and obscurity better.
• In a tough place right now, lonely or a loser. No worries, we’ve all been there. Realize how common these things are,  get past them!

Ozzy Osbourne

So what the fuck now?

Step 1. Do things that you consider embarrassing

• Walk by people in a techno-clown outfit, and see not a single person will look.
• Nobody cares, and even if people does look at you weird, they just walked by. Later, they would forget about you entirely.
• Notice how society, like an ocean, soothes over the waves you make, until what you do gets eliminated or becomes the status quo.
• Work with this that is how you become the success.

Step 2. Accept, or deal with, awkwardness

• Random babbling just to fill up the air, this is one type of awkwardness, a kind that you should feel comfortable about and learn to live with.
• Where you might have done something wrong or been wronged, but don’t say anything.
• Earn respect: if someone pushes you, push back twice as hard. This is much better than awkwardness.
• It’s clear, it’s not passive aggressive, and you know where you stand.

Step 3. Refuse boundaries

• Walk where you want to walk.
• Don’t accept false choices.
• Don’t let people dictate how you should live your life.
• Definitely don’t listen to the rules.

Step 4. Tell the truth

• You don’t need to be an asshole, but the world does not need another conflict-avoidant, evasive person.
• No one wants another individual who steps in line with everyone else.
• The status quo is doing fine without you, so it’s up to you to call bullshit if you see it.

STEP 5. Begin your new life.

• Once you begin on this path, you start to discover that practically everyone is capable of understanding the weird things that you do.
• In fact, it makes you interesting and worth paying attention to, further feeding into your plans of world domination, should you have any.
• Take back your self respect. Do it today– try it right now.
• Wear something ugly.
• Do something stupid.
• Tell someone the truth.

So say … Fuck, It doesn’t fucking matter anyway.

See more … http://surrealsanity.wordpress.com/fuck-the-complete-guide/

Not Giving a Fuck

until you can define shapes and then details

Darker and darker it became. Light slowly fading like a setting sun, maybe faster.
Being pressed down because there is no hope, inspiration …. on reason.
No reason to breathe
No reason to wake up in the morning
No reason to live

Then slowly hope comes again and from where you don’t expect it
The last place you care to look, because you thought … “there is no way … “

How one person can be so great, and actually care so much

How one person can change your outlook on life in a very short time

Brighter and brighter it shines, but doubt keeps pushing the darkness
Then even brighter it shines until you can define shapes and then details in the shapes
Breath again
Stand up and fight again
Live again, plan to live like never before

I’m beginning to feel untouchable again since you turned on the lights.

Welcome to my hide away

There’s a secret place I like to go
Everyone is there but their face don’t show
If you get inside you can’t get out
There’s no coming back, I hear them shout

Welcome to my hide away, my secret place
How I arrived I can’t explain
You’re welcome to, if you want to stay
But everyone just runs away

Let me in, get me out
Can’t do more than twist and shout
Lost my soul without a trace
Found it again in my secret place
In disgrace

I hide from those that try to find me
Scary things that’s right behind me
I lost myself, I must confess
I can’t explain how I got this mess

[Megadeth]

Inspiration is what you are to me

If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.
When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me.

Kind woman, I give you my all, Kind woman, nothing more.

Drops of rain whisper of the pain, tears of loves lost in the days gone by.
My love is strong, with you there is no wrong,
together we shall go until we die.
An inspiration is what you are to me, inspiration, look… and see.

And so today, my world it smiles, your hand in mine, we walk the miles,
Thanks to you it will be done, for you to me are the only one.
Happiness, no more be sad, happiness….I’m glad.
If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.
When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me.

And so today, my world it smiles

Just a dream

I know that this sounds soppy, but hell, it’s been too long … how many years still!

There is two main things I want right now, arms that would love and hold me unconditionally, and someone on Earth I can trust to turn to when the world turns against me, not to save me but just a place where I can rest and gain strength again to face the world and it’s evil again … finding that has proven a very difficult task in itself. Someone that would love me even if I am imperfect with lots of mistakes, someone that would forgive me unconditionally when I screw up, someone that can see past the monster that I am, someone that does not want anything from me, except my love in return. Someone that will stay!

Yes I know, it’s a fantasy person … but if I can do that for someone maybe I’ll find someone else who believes and can do the same … it’s just a dream ok.

The monster that I am

Slavery by Consent

Memories …

Memories blur into dreams
Light bleeds into truth
Everything unforgiving
Everything becoming hollow
Loneliness consumes
And there is no way back

The places you played
The places you called home
The people you thought you loved
All of them
Reduced to a memory of another life
Life you never lived

All the yesterdays
Can’t form a tomorrow
All the tomorrows
That never came from yesterday
A new beginning
Because forever
Is never forever

You are the one to make a difference
A wakeup call to change the world
For the better
By being aware
By being positive
By being you

And they will try and stop you
They will ridicule you
They will persecute you
Even try and kill you
Then they will isolate you
But remember
Nothing is forever
And everyone unforgiving

There is no way back!

surrealismo (62)

André Breton started Surrealism in 1924 with his ‘Manifesto du Surréalisme’. It was the Surreal the artists were looking for to express, and founded this mainly in the Subconscious, discovered by Freud. Surrealism is an art movement in which one’s dreams, nightmares, subconsciousness and fantasy inspire the final works.

Surrealism is when creative particles move using their kinetic energy. It is then that diffusion occurs because of difference in concentrations of the matter of emotion, passion and lust. The higher the concentration gradient the faster the diffusion rate. When diffusion happens it … explodes!

Surrealist tattoos

People believe artists especially surrealists are weird and crazy. It’s because everything we do, be it our art form, our love, sex, religion, relationships and even eating and partying, we do with such passion and intensity that is feels overwhelming to the reserved majority.

Surrealist photography

Surrealism is the art of making people cringe in horror at the realization of their mundane reality. 

Loving a surrealist is considered an extreme sport.

art form, our love, sex, religion, relationships, the passion

Dictionary: Surrealism, n. Pure psychic automatism, by which one proposes to express, either verbally, in writing, or by any other manner, the real functioning of thought. Dictation of thought in the absence of all control exercised by reason, outside of all aesthetic and moral preoccupation.

Encyclopedia: Surrealism. Philosophy. Surrealism is based on the belief in the superior reality of certain forms of previously neglected associations, in the omnipotence of dream, in the disinterested play of thought. It tends to ruin once and for all other psychic mechanisms and to substitute itself for them in solving all the principal problems of life.

frosty-surreal

Surrealism as a political force developed unevenly around the world: In some places more emphasis was on artistic practices, in other places on political practices, and in other places still, Surrealist praxis looked to supersede both the arts and politics. During the 1930s, the Surrealist idea spread from Europe to North America, South America (founding of the Mandrágora group in Chile in 1938), Central America, the Caribbean, and throughout Asia, as both an artistic idea and as an ideology of political change. Trotskyist or anarchist

While Surrealism is typically associated with the arts, it has been said to transcend them; Surrealism has had an impact in many other fields. In this sense, Surrealism does not specifically refer only to self-identified “Surrealists”, or those sanctioned by Breton, rather, it refers to a range of creative acts of revolt and efforts to liberate imagination. In addition to Surrealist ideas that are grounded in the ideas of Hegel, Marx and Freud, Surrealism is seen by its advocates as being inherently dynamic and as dialectical in its thought.

My love life 2011

Surrealism is a personal expression and life boat to many who feel that they do not belong in this world, those who believe that the way of this world and the fleeting emotional ties of the people of this world, does not tie in with their idea of living, loving and caring.

Alice in Wonderland

Then we find ourselves leaving this world from time to time for unknown periods of time, entering a secret place where on one’s faces show, although they are there. It’s a safe and welcome place, where rules are made for us … a Surreal Reality

Me your Mad Hatter - 10/6

If I could turn back time ....

Roll back time, roll back years to fix the things I broke …

I wish I could …

But now I’ve jumped down that hole and Wonderland is not as pretty as I remember … into Wonderland only to wish if I could understand … how to beat my past and redo it all, I want another chance because I want it all back.

The sun came up, night slowly sinking to the bottom, but it’s asking me to reset, redo and relive … for what is sunshine if you can not give it to the darkness.

I’ll sit and wonder, plan and negotiate with my own shadow this time, I have a helping hand and it is stretched out to my past … open arms waiting … I can hold on and make pain disappear, this time …

I’ll wait and see, I’ll wait patiently … I’ll dream so long.

Wait for me, my future, I'll wait

Tomorrow Another Day

A drop of my dream in the cradle of doubt, will I be in a dream tonight or will somebody else? If in my arms soon, once the broken eggs are cleaned up and the table set with plenty, will someone else be in the dream still?

What did Alice dream of when she sat at the table having tea, not the Hatter or the Rabbit I can surely bet? Did the Hatter suspect anything? Did he know?

Did Adam suspect anything about who was in the dream when he took the apple, did he know?

But now the roots of that tree is growing upwards, into the light and becoming visible, maybe Adam and the Hatter knew but hoped their dream will survive, hoped that they would be in the dream one day.

Cradled with doubt I know tomorrow is another day, when we wake from our dreams and face the ugly in our lives, live with it and nurture it because what is in our dreams can never truly be true. After all, that is what dreams are made of, a rabbit hole and a tea party of the soul.

At least so for my own sake, I really wish I could have somehow been as crazy as I would like to be. That way I will not know about the cradle of doubt rocking me to sleep, when I jump down the hole.

Falling to pieces

Just like in Star Wars, the good do all in their power to stay on the light side, but not like in Star Wars reality does not have a dark side, a dark power, no we have people in real life. You can control the dark side but you can do nothing for people … they will always turn on you, and justify themselves by claiming it to be a right in the eyes of righteousness.

The knight riding out to slay the dragon, he has all good intentions, his mind set on the deed. When he returns a welcome party will wait for him. Yes, some dragon lovers disagree and most will probably be angry at him, but he knows what must be done. He has no choice, his code demands it from him. A young maiden’s life is at stake! But when the dragon turns and run, and the maiden seems safe his return is one of scorn, dislike, hatred even, he will surely lose his rights, lose his Castle and end up in the stocks. If he is lucky and blessed he might even lose his life.

You see unlike in all the movies, books and stories, in real life the hero never wins. He’s not even credited, he is not even recognized, quite the contrary he is scorned, cast out and left for dead. That is where the truth portrayed in art comes in, like Dali so clearly illustrated it, time will catch any hero … it will melt over his existence, clouding his deeds and ridicule his code.

What is he to do you may ask? … well disappear like the smoke from the dragons nostrils and change his status from knight to peasant, leave that town, leave that people and go where no one knows him … there he will be able to wait for time to finally melt over him completely, cover him, take him.

What will happen in the town you may ask? … you forget there is people in this town and unlike the dark side they cannot be turned. “oh, yeah, I remember him” with a sneer on their faces will be all that’s left of the man that time melted over.

The code is gone, there was never a code, what a silly dream he had thinking it might change the world … the dark side has a better chance at that.

Once a knight now deemed and old man … Is this the road he must follow? … is this the final cut to the completion of this scene?

For so long now … is this it?

I will be complete and at peace with just forgiveness and no more. I have made peace with my dragons, and wish only joy to all.

So let’s hope time is an ally and not the enemy I expect it to be.

And this time with reliable, stable people … oh I can’t wait!

Yeah … it’s nice, I can plan everything again, now to move to the city, get the big money again … start the Bluez Boys again … live again!

It’s strange that in trying to help others, and really trying, I mean I cared about their dreams and plans and I was in the process of making it all reality, I forgot about myself, my own dreams, plans and happiness … and I really did not mind then, it was a different goal.

But now the freedom is so amazing that I can smell and taste it, I am moving forward so quick, and everything is falling in place so well … it’s like it was meant to be.

I truly believe that from now on people will have to follow my plans and dreams … almost tag along if they wanted to … cause for some reason, it’s all working, and I like it.

Wow, I believe I’ll be in a completely different situation a couple of months from now … God willing … and I pray I never fall in to the trap I was in.

Looking back and reading all my notes, I cannot believe that I was there. Oh and all the mistakes I made, and the person I hurt so bad, and the absolute pause I was placed in, waiting for someone’s miracle cure in order to move on with their dreams … maybe I was a fool, maybe I was supposed to learn in order not to fall into it again.

But everything is over now … no ties, memories or even feelings can manipulate me from this path I am about to walk.

… I wonder who will walk this road with me? I really would not want to do it alone … but hey if I have to I will.

But if he can make you laugh
at least once, causes you to think
twice, and if he admits to being human
and making mistakes, hold onto him
and give him the most you can.

He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not
thinking about you every moment, but
he will give you a part of him that he
knows you could break.

Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and
don’t expect for more than he can
give.

Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes
you happy, yell when he makes you
mad, and miss him when he’s not
there. Love hard when there is love to
be had.

Because perfect guys don’t exist, but
there’s always one guy that is perfect
for you.”

- Bob Marley

Yep at times I step out of my secret
place into the real world, during these
times away from my surreal reality I
tend to sort out issues and problems.

And yes it’s not nice in your world,
I really prefer my world, less violent
with buckets of hope and love. Reality
has none of that.

This time out I stayed longer than
usual, some pressing issues needed
my attention. But more importantly I
realized it is impossible to lose or fail
while you keep trying. The only loser
and failure in this world is the one that
gives up and stops trying.

But thank goodness I’m back in my
surreal reality, my own world filled with
hope, love and caring. I feel safe again!

“Never give up, Never surrender, wait
for the Lord! Do it for love“