Hello there, how are you?

Today I was browsing the Internet, acquiring some knowledge if you prefer to call it like that, and I came across a posting that had the right path of creativity, therefore, I decided to re-invent it, edit it, and change it for your delightful entertainment.  Hopefully all of us girls can identify.. By all means, if you want to add another point, be my guest, this list can only keep getting better, that way we will find PRINCE CHARMING…

My Boyfriend Application and Test

First, a little about me. I’m a 26-year-old, very  good looking and intelligent Latina, with a full time Job and  attending University. I’m tired of wasting my time, so I have formulated some mandatory criteria in part A, and part B is based on points.

Part A

1) You must be born male. I’ll need to see a birth certificate proving so.

2) You must own something to wear to a formal reception. And at least a couple formal shoes.
3) You must not own or ever wear Birkenstocks, crocs footwear or wrangler jeans. Or wear your jeans so low, that  I can see the end of your briefs.
4) All your parts need to be in good working order, further testing will need to be conducted of course.
5) I can’t accept a regular drug user. Despite CA culture, I am including weed.
6) You must own at least four collared dress shirts. You need to look presentable standing next to me.
7) Your height must be proportional to your weight using the standard AMA guidelines. (fyi, I do prefer them taller than me, so you have to be at least 6 feet) .
You must have a couple photos which were  taken in the last 2 months.
9) English must be your first language. However you need to have a pretty good understanding of Spanish and Latin culture, or at least a desire to learn.

If you meet all of the requirements above then you may continue, if not, then you are now dismissed but thank you for applying to be my boyfriend.

Now: give yourself two points for each of the following criteria you meet

Part B

1) You have (or are working on) a degree.
2) You own a car and have a valid driver’s license. Suspended for DUIs: minus 10 points.

3) If your car is better and newer than mine add 5 points
4) You’ve never worn Ed Hardy, Affliction or any other Christian Audigier affiliated brand.

5) If 80% of your shoes can be described as sneakers take minus 5 points.
6) You follow at least one professional sport.
7) You have skills in bed. Not because you think you do, because your past experiences have told you.
You are not a born again Christian, Jehovah’s Witness or any other kind of religious fanatic.
9) You have been to at least three countries outside of the US.
10) You don’t need to call a handy man if something breaks around the house.
11) You know how to cook a meal for two. (Eggs, instant noodles, sandwiches, lean cuisine do not count as a meal)

12) You actually do shores around the house, like doing dishes after I cooked, help cleaning the kitchen, bringing flowers, wine etc..
13) You like stepping out of your bubble and trying new things like different cuisine, bungee jumping, salsa dancing.
14) You can make it through a romantic comedy without complaining (don’t worry we don’t have to tell your friends).
15) You have a great sense of humor. Are people laughing with you, or at you?
16) You can plan a good date without any help or advice from me. “I don’t know, what do you want to do” isn’t an answer.
17) You work out and enjoy being physically active. I hit the gym regularly, you should too.
18) You have a job that requires more than a high school diploma.
19) You read books, or at least you read the newspaper, so we can talk about worldwide subjects.  

20) You are an educated individual. You challenge my intellectual abilities.
21) You have a 5 year goal.
22) You aren’t afraid of being yourself, even if you have a dorky, nerdy side. (that’s kinda hot).
23) You’re competitive, and I don’t mean you like to battle it out on Wii with your buddies on the weekends.
24) You know how to dance.

25) You are spontaneous and creative.

26) You are secure about yourself and us. Meaning I’m not looking for a jealous, immature, insecure chauvinistic pig. People are going to check us out. Just enjoy the ride, at the end of the night I’m going home with you.

27) Last but not least, you can acknowledge when you screw up, and say sorry;  flowers and a romantic dinner might help you get some points back.

If you have a score of 40+ then please contact me immediately. If you scored between 20-35 pts, you can contact me, but I don’t have a lot of hope for our future relationship. If you did not score high enough, then please do not contact me, but if at some time in the future you are able to improve yourself and meet the minimum requirements, then you may re-apply.

You MUST respond with your age (this is a creeper free zone, 25-36 year olds only please) and your picture.

I thank you in advance for your application, however, only successful candidates will receive a response.

fyi.. I’m not trying to be rude or insult anyone..

This blog is just for fun, and to make you laugh!

With Love

xoxoxoxo Ment@l Fashion Addict

Purchase an order of Hardee’s Smothered Country Potatoes and get a small beverage free. One per customer. Coupon expires December 7, 2009.

Get a free soda and french fries with the purchase of a Hardee’s Mushroom Melt Thickburger. One per customer. Coupon expires January 3, 2010.

image & recipe via Big City, Little Kitchen

This would be fabulous right now for my chilly hands. [thanks mei]

Nutella Hot Chocolate

• 1 cup whole milk (feel free to substitute skim, rice, almond, etc)
• 3 tb Nutella or other chocolate-hazelnut spread
• 1 cinnamon stick
• 1 tsp high-quality cocoa powder
• 1 or more marshmallows
• pinch of espresso powder (optional)

In a heavy-bottomed sauce pan over a low flame, whisk together the milk, Nutella, cocoa powder, and espresso (if using). Add cinnamon stick. Simmer for about 5 minutes, to allow flavors to meld.

As an archaeological journalist,  I’ve spent much time over the years hanging out with archaeologists in bars and restaurants around the world. Archaeologists are well known for their love of drink, and some of the most liquid evenings I have ever spent were in the company of archaeological teams.

So, from time to time,  I will write here about the wonderful drinks that archaeologists particularly love—from Greenlandic schnapps (made from the intestinal contents of birds) to  Andean chicha brewed from corn fermented by human saliva.   But I thought I would start off this series with a huge favorite of many Andean archaeologists:  the Pisco Sour.

Pisco Puro is a clear brandy distilled from the juice of the black quebranta grape which flourishes in the sunny fields of the Pisco and Ica Rivers in Peru.  Spanish colonists brought this sweet grape to the New World and began distilling brandy from it at least as early as 1547, less than a decade and a half after the conquistadors executed the Inca king Atahualpa.

My first encounter with a Pisco sour came when I was travelling on assignment to Peru during the very ugly civil war there during the early 90s.  The Shining Path guerillas were not only setting off bombs in Lima and shooting entire villages in the Andes, but they were also targeting foreigners.  A week before I arrived, they hauled off all the foreign tourists travelling on a bus to the highlands,  and shot them, as a message to the international community.

All this was rather unsettling both for me and for the Canadian archaeologists I was travelling with.  But my story focused on new research on the Nasca culture of Peru’s arid coastal desert, and I had an unforgettable journey.   For several days, I travelled with Andean archaeologist Patrick Carmichael by Landrover along the roadless and largely uninhabited Pacific coast:  our destination was a Nazca site he had just found by surveying near the mouth of the Ica River.   But it was a difficult journey:  the Landrover repeatedly broke down,  often leaving us stranded hours from any hamlet.  But the driver was a gifted mechanic,  and every unplanned stop seemed to produce some kind of wonder.  At one point, I strolled away from the mechanical problems only to find two human mummies protruding from the sand.

Our journey ended in the city of Ica, and I still remember the delicious luxury  of clean sheets,  running water, and a very good Pisco sour.

So here is my recipe for this very South American drink.  I’ve adapted it slightly from a recipe in a book I really treasure,  Tony Custer’s The Art of Peruvian Cuisine (Ediciones Ganesha, S.A: Lima, 2003).

Ingredients:

To make the sugar syrup:

one-half cup of sugar

3 tablespoons water

To make the drink:

5 ounces Pisco

2.5 ounces lime juice

1 egg white

Ice

To Serve:

Angostura Bitters

Preparation

To prepare the sugar syrup:  Put one-half cup of sugar in a small saucepan with 3 tablespoons of water,  just enough to moisten the sugar.  Bring the mixture to a slow boil and while stirring, cook until all the sugar is dissolved.  Remove from the heat and set aside for a few minutes.

To make the sour:  Pour the lime juice and the Pisco into the warm sugar syrup and stir thoroughly to blend the ingredients completely. Pour the mix into a blender jar and add just enough ice to double the volume of liquid in the glass.  Blend on high for an additional 30 seconds to crush the ice. Add one egg white and blend on high for one minute. Transfer to a pitcher and serve immediately in either old-fashioned or white wine glass.  Place a drop of Angostura Bitters in the middle of the foam in each glass.

Serves 3.

Bill Granger’s breakfast is an iconic Sydney experience. The popular TV chef has got like 3000 stores all over Darlinghurst, Surry Hills and Woollahra as well as a new joint in Japan. Famous for his scrambled eggs, sweet corn fritters and ricotta hotcakes, it seemed to be providence that decided I would be in a party of 3, able to savour each individual delight.

Is the hype worth it? Well, Bill ain’t Ferran. He’s not doing anything drastically different. He is making great scrambled eggs, sweet corn fritters and ricotta hotcakes though. The restaurant itself and the whole lifestyle around it is what makes it great. We arrived at 10 or so, a popular time for peeps sleeping in on Sundays so we had to wait like 20 minutes but there were others in the same situation who seemed more than happy to do so. It’s lazy Sunday breakfast concept, only way steezier with the polished wood floors and well selected furniture and a nice big mirror. Walk in and you also get this large communal table where you can eat with strangers. There’s plenty chatter and a near tranquility to things.

Check out the nondescript little logo on the bottom of the window. That’s Bills and that’s it. It’s easy to dismiss it as a well dressed cafe but a sense of style and the ease of which things are carried out can turn an ordinary breakfast into an amazing one. Whilst I don’t think what I ate was supreme, it was really good. Really good. I had a chocolate that came with Callebaut buttons on the bottom and foamed milk on top that I stirred together. My brother had a sunrise drink with a berry twist to an OJ.

The scrambled eggs is famous. It’s got great texture, light, fluffy and breaks apart easily in the mouth. It’s a really good version of a dish that I always have trouble associating because a good scramble is so hard to define. I still don’t know what it really is but this has to be bloody close. If you have one dish here, get the scrambled eggs. It’s subtle, simple and very elegant in taste and texture. However, I think it’s really not that far away from most other cafes. They’re just a good notch or 3 above the competition. Definitely the best scrambled eggs I’ve had thus far.

Sweet Corn Fritters were great too. They came with some bacon and tomatoes and stuff. The fritter was fried nicely and tasted great, with lots of interesting bits and bobs inside. The dish itself is kinda unique, I suppose, for breakfast.

I actually had the hotcakes all to myself, whilst the other dishes I stole bits off my mom and bro’s plates. The ricotta hotcakes were light and fluffy, although it still retains this poofy pancake aspect that I tend to dislike, the fact that it alls gets too much halfway through. I believe the proper term is jelat. There was also a nice honeycomb butter although I don’t get the name. I mean, it ain’t a honeycomb if it ain’t got no honeycombs is it? It’s a caramelly syrup is what it is.

Overall, I thought the breakfast was good. Was it worth it? Maybe. If I was someone who lived around the place and could afford steezy brekkies, then maybe.

Matthew 12:34
…For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.

The words that spew forth from our lips is a reflection of that which bubbles and wells within our heart. Our mouths reflect our hearts. But, our mouths may not always fully reflect the perversity of our hearts, because of the self-restraint we may place on our mouths. However, I am convinced that alcohol often provides a window into one’s heart. As each drop slides down the back of the throat, the reigns on one’s tongue, holding back and restraining the perversities welling up within, begin to loosen. It is this liquid that will aid in revealing what is really and truly in a person’s heart. After all, what do the Scriptures say concerning drunkenness and our words?

Proverbs 23:29-35
Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has strife? Who has complaining? Who has wounds without cause? Who has redness of eyes? Those who tarry long over wine; those who go to try mixed wine. Do not look at wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup and goes down smoothly. In the end it bites like a serpent and stings like an adder. Your eyes will see strange things, and your heart utter perverse things. You will be like one who lies down in the midst of the sea, like one who lies on the top of a mast. “They struck me,” you will say, “but I was not hurt; they beat me, but I did not feel it. When shall I awake? I must have another drink.”

by ANDREA McCALLUM

A TEEN who murdered a dad-of-two in an unprovoked attack has been jailed for life.

Thomas Main, 18, kicked and stamped Michael Wood to death in Aberdeen in June this year.

Mr Wood’s face was “smashed” during the attack and he died from his injuries.

Today (Monday) at the High Court in Livingston, thug Main was jailed for life after he previously admitted killing him.

Judge Lord Bracadale said the murder was “unprovoked” and ruled that Main must serve a minimum of 13 years before he can be considered for parole.

Defending, Mark Stewart QC, said Main had left school at an early age and had “drifted” into a life of drink and drugs.

He said: “It was the combination of his taking drink and drugs on the date in question which led to the incident which resulted in the attack and death of Mr Wood.

“There’s nothing which I can say which in any way explains or justifies the assault on Mr Wood – the apology I’m instructed to make will mean little to those affected by Mr Wood’s death.

“There is some understanding of the extremely serious nature of what occurred that day.

“There is some insight reported in the report in to the full extent of what he was responsible for and there is some indication that he understands the consequences of his actions.”

Lord Bracadale said to that the unprovoked attacked on Mr Wood involved Main “forcing” his victim down a flight of stairs and stamping on his head whilst he was unconscious, resulting in his whole face being “smashed in”.

He added: “This was a very serious assault which went on for some time.

“You have previous convictions of assault – one of which involved a weapon – and you were under the influence of drugs and alcohol.

“These are incriminating facts which will increase the length of imprisonment.

“I do take into account you age, that there was no weapon used and it was not pre-meditated.”

Relatives of Mr Wood present in the court room were elated and whispered shouts of joy when Main was handed down his sentence.

Main, was aged just 17 when he kicked 43-year-old Michael Wood “like a ball” so hard it left the distinctive pattern of his shoes imprinted on him during the attack in Balnagask Terrace late on Tuesday 9 June.

Headlock

The court heard previously that dad of two Mr Wood had split from his wife, suffered from an alcohol problem and had been on a binge with friends.

Main, who had five previous convictions for serious violence, had in turn been drinking vodka and Jack Daniels and was described as being “hyper” before he began punching Mr Wood in the face.

In evidence, the court heard previously how Main grabbed the older man in a headlock and during the struggle they both fell down stairs.

Main fell on top of the unconscious Mr Wood, breaking his fall.

But almost as soon as the teenage thug got to his feet again,he started kicking and stamping on Mr Wood’s head.

As he stamped on Mr Wood’s head one witness heard what he described as a ‘big snap’ – but still the attack continued.

Mr Wood was rushed to Aberdeen Royal Infirmary after but he died from his injuries.

A Post Mortem examination later revealed his entire face had been “fragmented” with only his jaw bone still intact.

Main initially denied any involvement.

However he later admitted punching Mr Wood and kicking him “like kicking a ball” although claimed he had not meant to kill him.

Police earlier described the assault as a “cowardly and brutal attack on a vulnerable and defenceless man”

See more of our pictures at our Flickr site and videos at our dedicated channel,  Deadline TV.

Yep, it kinda looks like the select your team screen from the very first Pro Evo. Except some of those are dubious countries. And the Head Office (factory): ENTER is just plain weird.

For my first blog post I will discuss one of my favorite and most heavily used kitchen items. This household appliance review will be overwhelmingly positive because I love drinking fresh fruit and vegetable juice. The juicer that I use is a Magimix le duo. This kind of machine is a centrifugal juicer which means that it withdraws the liquid from the fruit and vegetables by tearing them apart and then spinning the fast like a tumble dryer to extract the juice.

What I love about my Magimix le duo:

• easy to use
• juices fruit and vegetables quickly
• cleaning is straight forward and does not take long
• does not require cleaning half way through use

What I would like to see improved:

• raised juice dispensing nozzle
• wider chute to insert produce for juicing

I use this kitchen appliance almost every day. It is great for making a healthy drink to start the day. There are two ways that it can be used. There is the standard centrifugal juicing method where fruit and vegetables are fed in through the top (this set up is pictured above). There is also a citrus press attachment that is great for juicing oranges and grapefruit. This allows more of the pulp to get through into the juice.

Juicing fruit and vegetables removes the fiber content which could be seen as a negative consequence. However on the plus side, fresh juice tastes great and it becomes feasible for us to consume far more servings than if we were eating them. As an example, one of my favorite juices is the simple carrot, orange and ginger juice. Typically I use 3 oranges, 2 carrots and a chunk of fresh ginger. This makes a great addition to my breakfast. However the thought of sitting down to eat 3 oranges and 2 raw carrots is less than appealing.

This juicer is very easy to use. Firstly I wash my fruit and vegetables. Then I just have to chop them up so that they will fit into the chute at the top. With the standard le duo model like I have this is about 3cm * 5cm wide. However the newer magimix le duo xl model has a wider chute making it easier to prepare the produce for juicing. This would be particularly useful for leafy vegetables which are fiddly to push through.

As the cylinder rotates at a high speed, making a drink literally only takes a couple of minutes. Then to clean the juicer is easy too. There are 4 separate parts, 3 of which simply require a rinse. The cylinder itself takes a bit longer. It comes with a special implement that is used to scrape out the dry fruit pulp. Then using a brush and running water I am able to get it spotlessly clean and ready for its next use. It is important to clean the juicer straight after use otherwise the pulp can stain the machine as well as becoming dried on and harder to remove. Once a month I leave the parts to soak in water and bleach to keep it looking in top condition.

For people living alone or a couple, the Magimix le duo is a great size. It is large enough that making all the juice in one go is possible. When I was growing up, my family had 5 members so we had to stop half way through to remove the pulp that had built up. This make the juicing a more protracted affair.

The only thing I would like to see changed about this fruit and vegetable juicer is the height of the dispensing nozzle. It is too low to allow a pint glass to fit under it. This means that I have to use a measuring jug to capture my juice then pour it into my glass to drink. This just adds a further item to be washed.

For anyone thinking about becoming healthier I cannot recommend drinking fresh fruit and vegetable juice enough. It is so easy to consume so much more than you could ever imagine eating. This means getting plenty of vitamins and minerals becomes easy. There are a wide variety of machines on the market today. The Magimix le duo is almost perfect for my current juicing needs.

This weekend, we traveled to Staunton to visit Will’s parents.  Our trip took us over the Blue Ridge Parkway just as the sun was setting – a perfect chance for a quick photo stop.

Faced with a plan-less night, we thought, “what better way to spend a Saturday night than holding a Bourbon Throwdown?” …just the two of us.  Our method was simple: pour seven aperitif glasses full of seven different small batch bourbons and then assign each glass a number.

The Lineup

The taster, unaware of which bourbon was in each glass, would rank each glass.  Saltine crackers and water were made available after each sip.

Will took his job very seriously

The bourbons in the throwdown included:

Will was first in the chute.  And, after trying just three glasses, he easily determined his champion: glass number 3.  “This has got to be Van Winkle.  It is like heaven in my mouth!”  Hoping that her husband didn’t know his bourbons that well, Sarah lifted the card to check.  “Go on,” she commanded.  Continuing, Will sipped the remaining bourbons, making illegible notes on his tasting “ledger.”  How anyone could decipher a “hazelnut finish” was beyond Sarah.  Nevertheless, when all was said and done, Will compiled his order of merit list.

And then Sarah disclosed the names.  And the winner is…

…the reigning champion.

1. Van Winkle Special Reserve.  Heaven.

2.  Maker’s Mark

3.  Bulliet Bourbon

4.  Wild Turkey Rare Breed

5.  Basil Hayden

6.  Woodford Reserve

7.  Knob Creek

In sum, it was refreshing to see that the less expensive bourbons came out on top.  Although Van Winkle goes for roughly $49.00 per 750ml, both Makers and Bulliet can be found for under $25.00.  All three are smooth, medium body bourbons that are perfect for almost everything.  Either the downtown Manhattan in Manhattan, the early Spring sunset in Zion, or the pre-wedding courage finder, each of these are amazing whiskeys.  Nonetheless, if you can find “Old pappy” (the Van Winkle) on a shelf near you, (We’ve only found it in limited releases on the East Coast – sorry Seattlites) it is well worth the hefty price tag.  As for the losers, Basil Hayden, we expected more.  For $40.00 (740ml) a stronger finish was in order, as it was for Lewis and Clark’s choice of spirits.  The famous duo fueled their troops with Woodford Reserve during their famous 1804-1806 expedition. Both are likely rolling in their graves.  One of Will’s alleged “go to” bourbons, Woodford Reserve came in a paltry SIXTH PLACE.

Next up, Sarah.

A reluctant taster

But, she tried her best.

Take her findings with a grain of salt, but here are Sarah’s results:

1.  Maker’s Mark

2. Knob Creek

3.  Woodford Reserve

4.  Bulliet Bourbon

5.  Rip Van Winkle (!?)

6.  Wild Turkey

7. Basil Hayden

In the end(notwithstanding her ill treatment of King Pappy), there was one bourbon that Will and Sarah agree on – MAKER’S MARK!

So find your big brimmed hat and head to the bluegrass state.   A king was crowned on Saturday.

Next throwdown?  Apples!  Stay tuned!

Well here we are, three lines in to the offering formula and about to start on the fourth and last.  And here it is:

en ka en imakhy Senwosret, maa-kheru: for the ka of the revered one Senwosret, true of voice.

Sound like anyone you know?  Do you revere the colleague whose card or whiteboard you are embellishing?  Are they known for their honesty, the accuracy of their pronouncements or their karaoke prowess?  Never mind, it’s only a formula.  Let’s look at the first bit of it.

en ka en:  for the ka of.  Let’s do the easy bit first.   The Sherlock Holmeses among you will instantly have deduced that the squiggly lines top and bottom correspond to the en. 

Elementary.   And speaking of elements, the squiggly line in hieroglyphs represents the watery one.  It’s a ripple of water:

See the resemblance?  We’ve already seen wavy lines representing water, in the post on wabet.  But we haven’t had them as the actual letter n.  Here’s an original:

It’s a zigzag line.  What else is there to say?  The ka, on the other hand…

The Egyptians didn’t have souls.  Or rather, they didn’t just have single souls.  The deceased Egyptian exploded into a whole menagerie of afterlife entities:  the body, the shadow, the akh (a heron-like bird with a lamp who circled the skies with the stars), the ba (a human-headed bird that hung around the necropolis and twittered mournfully – they’ve made a comeback on the Internet lately) and the ka, or life force.

The ka had its advantages and disadvantages.  A disadvantage was that it was confined to the tomb, unlike the ba and the akh.  Maybe it kicked the ba and the akh out, so it could get some elbow room, with the body and the shadow.  Maybe that was why the ba twittered mournfully.  The advantage was that the ka got to ascend the burial shaft, come out through the false door into the offering chapel and feast upon the food and drink brought by the family or magically invoked by the passer-by.  The ka was the life force, and it fed upon the life force of the food.  But we’ve been through all this before.

The hieroglyph for ka is a pair of upraised arms, as found on the head of this royal ka statue:

What a beautiful, slender yet well moulded pair of arms and  shoulders, and delicate, detailed hands.  They didn’t always put so much work into the hieroglyphs,

although they have taken care to paint this ka the dark red colour they used for male skin (men being more likely to be outdoors than women, and therefore more tanned).  I draw my kas very simply:  three straight lines plus a little crescent at each end for the hands.

NB:  this ka is not to be confused with the ka meaning bull of a few posts ago.  Katie Hughes tweeted a good idea about that some time ago:  kh1369  @SusanLlewellyn Egyptians would be sustaining the ka (“spirit”) with ka (meat)? What a multi-purpose word! Also, is “kau” like “cow”? Easy!  She’s great at making these connections.

By Andrea McCallum

PLANS are underway to lower the Scottish drink-driving limit to make it less than south of the border.

Pub-goers would break the law driving after two pints under new rules which would see the 80mg per 100ml of blood limit dropped to 50mg.

The new rules would restrict drinking motorists to a pint of lager or large glass of wine.

Ministers in London are being urged to change the legal limit by the SNP who have no power to change the road traffic law.

The idea for the change comes after Northern Ireland environment minister Edwin Poots said he wanted the legal limit slashed.

SNP Highlands and Islands MSP David Thompson, who has campaigned on the issue, said: “The UK government has claimed in the past that Scotland’s limit could not be changed because it would be wrong to have different limits in different parts of the UK.

“That argument has been blown out of the water by Northern Ireland’s decision.

“If the UK government won’t do it, they should pass the powers to Holyrood as soon as possible. Saving lives is too important for parties to play political games.”

The Republic of Ireland Transport Minister Noel Dempsey said the legal limit there would be lowered by the end of this year.

If successful, the UK and Malta would be the only nations in the EU with a higher drink-drive limit.

See more of our pictures at our Flickr site and videos at our dedicated channel,  Deadline TV.

Steaz- FREE 16 OZ. Steaz Organic Iced Teaz coupon.
http://www.freakyfreddies.com/coupon.htm

It gives a gallon of toddy every day, the local ale of Keralites, one third of whom live by extracting it  from this too familiar tree. They give it to the cooperative, that owns a network of distributories. Being the cheapest drink, all workers go direct to the “shop”, after a day of hard work, where, sometimes they spend the whole day’s earnings.

Toddy is collected by cutting the flower bunch, which the botanists call the inflorescence, and collecting the juice coming from the cut, rich in starch and vitamins,  sweet when fresh. Our tapper at home is a family friend. He gives Rs. 50 per tree per month. All this, I learned when Ravi my Bihari son-in-law whanted a “bottle” from him.

If the flowers are allowed to grow, the inflorescencs is cut and used as a boucquet, considered auspicious and a must in marriage ceremonies, when receiving the deity of god, coming home on the back of an elephant, or simly as decoration, during festivals in temples.

The hard cover of the inflorescence, with a net like inside membrane, was used to make a torch, even in my childhood!

Have you seen a whole coconut? It has a fibrous cover, to protect the nut inside, because the whole thing falls down from a height of even fifty feet. It is very, very difficult to peel it (I should enjoy a European doing it even with the sharpest knife!). In Vetekkaran pooja, 12000 nuts have to be broken in front of the deity.  A sharp thick iron bar is planted in the soil, with the sharp end pointing upwards. The fibrous nut is brought down forcefully to hit the instrumet, when a dent is made in the outer cover, without damaging the nut inside. Now they have designed an instrument which is an innovation of this method and can be wielded even by girls.

Ropes are made from the fibrous cover which we call chakiri. it is the traditional occupation of women in the coastal districts of Keralam, from Alapusha to Kollam.The fibrbre comes loose, after soaking chakiri for months in the backwaters. The Coir Board is selling an incredible variety of coir products, including door mats. Global recession has hit this cottage industry too.

Inside the fibre is the hard shell called chiratta. It is a valuable fuel, traditionally used in the heavy ironing box. It is also used as a ladle, by fixing a handle to the shell. Artists use it to carve figures of people, animals etc.

When the nut is tender, the sweet water inside the shell, is a nutritious beverage, now available in most towns. It contains pure glucose which can be given intraveinous, I read somewhere. The soft white kernel is light food.

The ripe kernal is the source of oil, commercially used for making soaps and detergents. A Keralite will not enjoy his food, if it is not laced with coconut oil. Papadam fried in other oils is unpalatable.

The leaves of the tree, resembling in shape, the wings of a peacock, are used for making nets or mats, by weaving the individual blades together. These are used for thatching the roof or making a screen for the open bath sheds, where women take bath.

The tree trunk can be sawn into beams for making furniture, roof of houses etc.

This is my own observation. People leave the root clump, after cutting off the trunk, because it is very heavy and impossible to cut into pieces. Its inside can be scooped out, by a suitable tool, leaving the outside shell which can be used as a big bharani, as we call it, for storing mango pickles etc.

Now you tell me, is there any other tree that gives all parts of its body for human beings?

Not a big fan of martinis, but at that day i really needed one

Just got of a plane from Surabaya to Jakarta. The traffic was so BAD

So, i decided to try out the Pistachio Martini

It has a unique taste….but it sure is GOOD!!!!!

It’s nothing fancy

Served with a few pistachios and a dollop of pistachio ice cream

Definitely suitable for a gloomy day

It’s the weekend before Thanksgiving here in the US, and I’ve put together a list of what I am going to make. As is the case with me, I am the only person at the table doing low carb, so the recipes have to be acceptable to them – or it be realistic to run similar dishes side by side – there’s just so much time and space in the kitchen.

Here goes:

Turkey – You saw that one coming, right? No problems here. We don’t deep-fry our turkey in batter. It does get a LOT of butter shoved under the skin and usually an apple shoved in the carcass – both these maneuvers prevent it from getting dry.

Funny story: early in my marriage, my wife and I cooked the turkey upside down. We were terrified that we ruined it, but it was a particularly good bird. My speculation as to why was that the white meat – the leanest and dryest part of the bird was in the juices the whole time. We have never had the guts to try this experiment again, but I’ve always had the urge to.

‘Mashed Potatoes’ – No, not really. Rather, it’s my cauliflower ‘mashed potatoes’. These are pretty darn good, though I overdosed them in garlic the last time I made this. I’ll probably cut back a wee bit on the garlic this time, or perhaps saute it a bit to soften the flavor. I might be the only one eating this, though.

Gravy – You know what, the store-bought gravies ain’t that high in carbs, believe it or not. Three grams of carbs for Heinz Turkey Gravy isn’t bad. Yeah, I’d rather not have the modified corn starch, but I also want a few minutes not cooking to play with the kids. I’ll take the tradeoff. The family is OK with it, too, so this one doesn’t jump out as low carb.

Cranberry Sauce – I only tried this last year and fell in love with it. Take a bag of cranberries, cover with water in a small pot , and cook on the stove til they burst – you got cranberry sauce. Then add just enough Splenda to cut the tartness – but not enough to tick off the anti-Splenda faction at the table. Yes – there’s carbs here, but these are about as healthy a serving of carbs you can get – at least that’s what some research says.

Spinach Casserole - I haven’t made this in a while, but I have fond memories of it. This I can squeeze in the rack below the bird in the oven. Everyone liked this when I cooked it last, so I won’t mention that it is low carb and ruin it for them.

Brussels Sprouts – The entire family likes these brussels sprouts, so they don’t stand out as a ‘low carb’ dish (like the cauliflower mashed potatoes). I’ll buy some sour cream – I think it makes a great topping for the sprouts, oddly enough.

Stuffing – I make my kids a great homemade stuffing out of leftover bread. I soak it in chicken broth overnight, then fry up some onions and yellow squash in olive oil. Mix the bread and the fried veggies together, add whatever seasonings strike my fancy at the time (always salt and pepper), and bake until the top is nicely browned. I think I’ll experiment with making some of my low carb bread a bit stale in the oven, and trying it with that.

I’ll have regular stuffing as a backup for the family.

Ricotta Cranberry Cream Pie – My new favorite. Now I can have a dessert to keep me satisfied while everyone else chows down on their sugar and starch laden goodies.

Red Wine – Alcohol slows weight loss. Alcohol, in moderation, is also good for you in a number of ways – especially with the other compounds found in red wine. Enjoy a little – it’s Thanksgiving.

Funny story – when I was grocery shopping on Friday, I wanted to select a few beers that David had not yet tried. I decided to try some Oettinger beers. As I was scanning the vast selection of brands and types of beers, I caught sight of an Oettinger label that said Malz, or malt. I thought, “Great! I love malt beers!” and proceeded to add a few bottles to my basket.

When I got home, I excitedly showed David that I had found a malt beer to try. Then my eye fell on the label and I noticed it said that it was alcohol-free and also an “erfrischende Malztrunk für die ganze Familie” – a refreshing Malt beverage for the whole family. Hmmmm….

We chilled one down, opened the bottle and poured it into a beer glass. David took the first sip. His first thought was, “What IS this? It tastes like soda-pop.” Then he said to me, “I’m not too sure of this. It doesn’t taste right.” I was curious. I took a sip and it was definitely not what I was expecting. Maybe if I had been expecting a malt beverage rather than a malt beer I would have liked it.

I am going to try making beer bread with the remaining bottles, because I think that might be the best way to use up our refreshing malt beverage for the whole family.

AMRUT TULYA CHAHA

Tea Town Pune Special

By

VIKRAM KARVE

Pune is a Tea Town.

Yes, when I was a small boy, Pune [or Poona as it was known then] was a “TEA TOWN”.

During those days, in Pune, everyone drank tea, except some quirky upaas type aunts who always insisted on sweet milky jaiphal spiced coffee and were “fasting” most of the time on yummy delicacies like Sabudana Khichadi and Wade, Rajgire, waryache tandul, healthy fruits, nourishing milk, calorie-rich pure ghee sweets and similar lip-smacking upasasache padartha. [By the way DALDA, quite popular in those days, made from hydrogenated oils was mysteriously “permitted” for upaas as it was considered “ghee”].

At home tea was made in typical Puneri manner as described in HOW TO MAKE A CUP OF TEA

Outside your home, there were chiefly two types of tea for the laidback discerning gourmet Punekar to relish – AMRUT TULYA CHAHA at the ubiquitous Amruttulya Tea Shops at every nook and corner of Pune, and the peerless IRANI CHAI served by the numerous Irani Restaurants all over Pune city and camp like Café Naaz, Lucky, Good Luck, Volga etc. Indeed Amrut tulya Chaha and Irani Chai are an important aspect of the culinary heritage of Pune.

Irani Chai is the most rejuvenating beverage I have ever had. They keep the steaming rich tea brew and hot milk in separate containers and mix it in just the right proportion to get the terrific inimitable gulabi Irani Chai.

Drench in a fresh soft bun-maska, place it on your tongue, and close your eyes – aren’t you in seventh heaven? Even a cup of piping hot Irani Tea by itself is sheer bliss. 

Of my favourite Irani Restaurants, Naaz, Lucky have disappeared, and only Good Luck remains.

Amrut Tulya Chaha tea shops are fast vanishing too like the one nearest to where I lived on Tilak Road in Sadashiv Peth in the 1960’s next to Ashok Bakery [also disappeared]. Further down the road past SP College towards Maharashtra Mandal there still exist the legendary Ambika and New Ambika Amruttulyas [a friend of mine used to say that the morning tea was superb in one and the evening tea in the other].

It’s really sad. The culture of Pune is fast changing. The youngsters don’t drink tea anymore – it’s infra dig, isn’t it?

The young and the restless prefer Coffee. No, not the peaberry-plantation filter coffee served by the Udipi Restaurants which we used to love, but the expensive stylish international coffees served at posh Baristas, CCDs, and high-falutin coffee shops proliferating rapidly all over Pune.

Just imagine, the other day I couldn’t get a cup of tea in a multiplex, but there were plenty of varieties of coffee all around.

Hey, it seems I am rambling away and have gone off on a tangent, so let me not digress from our main topic – The Art of making Amrut Tulya Tea.

Amrut means Nectar, and Tulya means Comparable, so “Amrut Tulya” means “Comparable to Nectar” and indeed, true to its name, Amrut-Tulya Tea is comparable to nectar –  sweet, ambrosial, like the elixir of life!

I loved watching Amrut Tulya Chaha being prepared. Amrut Tulya Tea is not brewed in the traditional Tea service style. It is “cooked” in front of you in a brass vessel which becomes “tastier” with time.

I love the “special” chaha. Milk and water are boiled together, with plenty of sugar, masala [comprising crushed cardamom, ginger], and tea leaves, stirring continuously to make sure it doesn’t overflow.

Come, my dear Tea Lover, let me tell you how to make Amrut Tulya Chaha – The Art of Tea – Pune Style. 

Assemble the following Ingredients for Two cups of Amrut Tulya Tea “Special Chaha”

Assam CTC Tea or, if you live in Pune, get the famous CTC+OP “Family Mixture” Tea Powder from your favourite “Tea Depot” in the heart of Pune City.

[By the way, the acronyms are: CTC – Crush, Tear, Curl; OP – Orange Pekoe; BOP – Broken Orange Pekoe].

Full Cream Buffalo Milk [I like Chitale or Sane dairy]

Fresh Water

Sugar

Fresh Ginger Crushed [Better still you can crush the juicy fresh ginger with the chimta directly in the water-milk concoction to let the ginger juices flow out and blend in smoothly]

Cardamom – peel, crush and powder the pods

Before you start, dear reader, here is a note of caution: Please remember that Amrut Tulya Tea is not your traditional Masala Chai so please don’t add any Tea Masalas or spices like clove, cinnamon, black peppercorns or herbs like gavati chaha (lemon grass), tulsi leaves etc. and neither is it the “khada chamach” or “cutting” Chai so please don’t boil away to glory – remember, you must achieve Amrut Tulya Chaha of just the right consistency!  

Now let us start “cooking” amrut tulya tea – we will make two cups, one for you and one for me.

In a brass vessel [or stainless steel, if you can’t get a brass vessel] mix one cup of water and one cup of milk.

Add four teaspoons of sugar.

Put on the stove on medium heat.

Squeeze in a bit of fresh crushed ginger and add a pinch of cardamom powder and the freshly crushed peel.

Lightly and lovingly stir the concoction, let it warm, and bring to a boil.

Smartly add two teaspoons of tea powder and keep stirring gently to ensure the boiling concoction does not spill over.

Keep boiling till the tea attains beautiful bright golden-orange colour – the moment you see a reddish tinge, give the heavenly brew a loving last stir, twirl the vessel, and sieve the Amrut Tulya Tea Special Chaha directly into the cups.

You can drink it from the cup, or better still the saucer sucking and pulling in the yummy liquid with your lips and let it deliciously emulsify on your tongue for that heavenly elevating feeling.

Sip the delicious tea slowly and mindfully, roll it on your tongue, let it mingle in your palate, close your eyes, absorb, discern the flavour, the rich taste, relish every sip lovingly.

Amrut Tulya Chaha is truly lip-smacking tasty and soul-refreshing – blissful ambrosia, an experience of nectar – you can take my word for it.

Now you know why they call this refreshingly delicious and nourishing tea Amrut Tulya “comparable to Nectar” Chaha.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2009

Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.

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