I’m lovin’ it! A nice idea by DDB New Zealand but, surely it would be better located somewhere near to a McDonald’s and not at the entrance to the drive-thru, as you’ve obviously already committed to buying the fast food outlet.

How College Works

Graph by: lljdude via Graph Jam Builder

Next time you (if you ever) pick up a meal from Burger King, look at the way they advertise what drink you should get on the big menu.

With dark meats, perhaps a Coke will taste best. With chicken, you’d probably prefer a Sprite. Fish? A diet coke. And Dr. Pepper for the big motherfuckers.

Kind of like how you drink red wine with red meats, white with white meats, and for the sake of argument, rosee with fish, BK matches their sodas as if it actually makes the meal taste better as a whole.

Fast Food Etiquette

Fast-food customers frequently complain about bad service and long waits at the drive-thru. The easiest people to blame are the restaurant employees who are often characterized as being slow, rude or just plain incompetent.

It’s a two-way street. Just like the customer is not always right, the employee is not always incompetent. It’s actually been over 5 years since I’ve worked a drive-thru. I’m just going to put it right out there: 5 very happy years. I read this article and I got angry. Evidently, I have some lingering pent-up aggression about this topic. Perhaps this will be cathartic for me? Or perhaps I will just be ranting. We shall see.

I am not going to bother discussing the points that other blog listed. I basically agree with them. I just feel as though he missed a lot of things that might even be more important.

1. KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. Ok, the very point of a drive-thru is ease and speed. SPEED. At most fast food places, they have a leader board that is a couple of car lengths back from the order board. Fucking look at it. It most generally has the high points of the menu and any specials. When you get to the point you speak your order, you should KNOW what you want. It’s not fast for you to sit there and “uhhhhhhhhh” for five minutes. By the way, do you know that microphone is very sensitive? And I was wearing a fucking headset? I heard your noises. And I thought you sounded retarded. Furthermore, you would have annoyed me at that point, so yes, I would have probably treated you as though you were retarded.

Seriously, If you honestly don’t know the menu enough to have a pretty firm idea of what you want, come inside. There are a million people behind you that know what they want. It’s just simple common courtesy to everyone involved. You are screwing off the other customers time. You were screwing off my time. You don’t know this and I don’t expect you to necessarily care, but I used to get paid for my drive thru time. That’s right. I had an average time of each car I had to maintain. And when you sat there “what do I want..what do I want…what…do….I….want” for *literally* 5 minutes? You were making me lose money. And I hadn’t done anything wrong. Except having the bad luck to have my path cross yours, you inconsiderate, rude twat.

2. DO NOT WASTE MY TIME WITH CHITCHAT. Generally, I didnt have time to talk to you. And I certainly did not want to hear some ignorant fucking story about what your great-grandmother thought about our onion ring sauce. I wanted to have you pay me. I wanted to thank you, hand you your food, and have you get on your way. You always seemed to choose those stories to waste my time with when it was a million degrees below zero. Did you not recognize its fucking COLD? I was even less interested in speaking with you on those days.

All that being said, sometimes I wanted to chitchat with you. If it was possible and I wanted to? I would have made it happen. Do not get attitude with me because I could not let you hang in the drive-thru lane to flirt with you. I would quickly be over the idea of flirting if you were a dick. You came to my drive-thru on your OWN TIME. I was there because I was being paid to be. So our social interactions were dependent upon my level of work at that particular moment. So you had time to kill? I feel so repetitive, but COME INSIDE. If I were normally interested in talking with you? I would have probably given you free shit. Cuz that’s how I rolled.

3. BRING YOUR COMPLAINTS INSIDE. Ok. I’m going to explain that just based on the lack of common sense that seems to pervade most people. If you believe the girl short-changed you, polite say something. She would have called me over. I’d pull the drawer and within 2 minutes, I’d have it counted and I’d either have laughed at you or given you the correct change. Shit happens, dude. Do not turn a tiny mistake into a hell-raising drama fest, you big fucking crybaby. If you ordered a Diet Coke and got Dr. Pepper? Yes, mention it. However, do not start a fuss with the boy in the window because you don’t like his attitude or the way he “looked at you.” If you feel strongly enough that you were really mistreated, come inside. I would have been more inclined to pay attention, look like I gave a shit, and actually…do something about it. If you had a bad experience at a different franchise or even hell, a different day at my store, I did not want to hear about it in my drive-thru. I…am….busy.

Seriously, people. Most fast food places are no different from the way mine was. The employees want to move those cars along probably more than you do. Yes, sometimes shit happens and the system breaks down. Yes, sometimes I got stuck with staff that just were not able to keep up. But more often than not, if you were kept waiting? It was not my fault. It was either the thoughtless rude bastard in front of you who had a ten minute argument with his wife before he could order. Or it was you.

I never got a reply from McDonald’s going any farther than the original “we’ll forward it to the appropriate party” email.  So, I decided to reply.  Nothing to lose, right?  Well, I couldn’t directly reply, because of the incredibly blunt “No ‘replies’ can be received through this mailbox. If you wish to contact McDonald’s Customer Response Center again, please visit our website at www.mcdonalds.com” part of their email.  So, back to the McWebform I went!  I even included the fancy ref#:6502666.

Well, it apparently worked!

From: McDonalds.CustomerCare@us.mcd.com
To: me@my.email.address
Sent: Wed, December 9, 2009 5:09:19 AM
Subject: Message from McDonald’s USA

Hello Eric:

Thank you for taking the time to re-contact McDonald’s Customer Service Center. I’m sorry you have not yet received a local response regarding your recent McDonald’s restaurant experience.

Please know we take your comments very seriously. I will immediately re-contact the franchise owner of the restaurant you visited and request that he or she follow-up with you as soon as possible.

Please be assured your complete satisfaction is our top priority. Thank you for your patience and for taking the time to re-contact McDonald’s Customer Service Center.

Jimelle
McDonald’s Customer Response Center

ref#:6521333

————————————————————————————————————–

Please do not “reply” to this email response. No “replies” can be received through this mailbox. If you wish to contact McDonald’s Customer Response Center again, please visit our website at www.mcdonalds.com

————————————————————————————————————–

Are you finished with your holiday shopping? Even the person with everything gets hungry. An Arch Card makes a great holiday gift. For more information visit your local McDonald’s restaurant or our website at http://www.mcdonalds.com/archcard.

You wrote:

Hello,

Regarding my last message from Ashley at McDonald’s customer service… ref#:6502666

I was told not to reply to the email… hopefully that reference # can refer you to my earlier message.

I think it’s a very poor setup that you have… not being able to reply to emails.

Your message to me said “Because most McDonald’s restaurants are independently owned and operated, I have forwarded your comments to the franchise owner or local representative for follow up at the restaurant you visited. Please be assured that your comments will be investigated and, if appropriate, corrective action will be taken.

Secondly, although we did not completely meet your expectations, please know that our restaurant employees strive to maintain the highest standards of quality, service, cleanliness and value and it’s certainly nice to know that their efforts are appreciated. We want to recognize your complimentary comments and thank you for your kind words.“

Was anyone at that McDonald’s contacted?

Will I get a reply?

And, then, it was followed up by this…

From: Sandra Jaeger sandra.jaeger@gmail.com
To: me@my.email.address
Sent: Wed, December 9, 2009 7:07:00 PM
Subject: Fwd: Follow up of e-mail for the West Liberty Avenue Restaurant

From: Sandra Jaeger sandra.jaeger@gmail.com
Date: Wed, Dec 9, 2009 at 7:02 PM
Subject: Follow up of e-mail for the West Liberty Avenue Restaurant
To: [complete@misspelling.of.my.email.address]
Dear Eric

I am the Customer Service Representative of the West Liberty Avenue Restaurant. I unfortunately did not receive your first e-mail.  Please fill me in on the situation.   I am located in the Pittsburgh area and will address all issues to the supervisors of this restaurant.

Sincerely,

Sandra Jaeger

How cool is that?  Ha ha ha.  An actual response!  Funny that it “didn’t get through” the first time.  Very funny.  Also funny that it went to a complete misspelling of my email address, those of you who have it will find it amusing.  There was a “.” where a “_” should be as well, as a few incorrect letters.  (Not transposed, incorrect.)

So, of course, I had to write back…

From: me@my.email.address
To: Sandra Jaeger sandra.jaeger@gmail.com
Sent: Wed, December 9, 2009 10:00:58 PM
Subject: Re: Fwd: Follow up of e-mail for the West Liberty Avenue Restaurant

Hello Sandra,

Thanks you for the reply!  I have always wondered if the emails that you get in reply to webforms at sites like the McDonald’s one are anything more than a standard form letter.  In reply to my first message, the response said “I have forwarded your comments to the franchise owner or local representative for follow up at the restaurant you visited.”  I had wondered if this really was the case…  Apparently not, until I took the time to reply with a second message asking if it had really gone any further.  I’m glad I took the time to follow up!

I  find it amusing that my original comments did not make it to you.  It makes me wonder how many emails remain unanswered daily when filtered through the McWebform.  This is not your problem though, as you are obviously concerned and addressing this issue now.

My original comments were regarding a visit that I had over a week ago now, in an evening stop at the McDonald’s on West Liberty Ave. in Beechview or Dormont or whatever the neighborhood may be there.

My original message was…

The crew in the place tonight seemed to be operating well, were friendly, and quickly as far as the food was concerned, but the parking lot was full of cars for the bar next door, and the men’s bathroom was disgusting.  Please see this link for a review & photos: http://www.urbanspoon.com/r/23/1346713/restaurant/Far-South-South-Hills/McDonalds-Pittsburgh

That pointed to a review that I posted on UrbanSpoon.com, which you can read here…

“Sadly, had the best service there tonight in years…” by ERiC AiXeLsyD (98 reviews)

November 29, 2009 – Doesn’t like it – Small crew tonight, decent night-time crowd, stopped for a late dinner, was served relatively quickly… fries were a perfect golden color and hot… burgers were OK, super-greasy but it IS McDonald’s. We were out at an event earlier, on the way home… had to use the facilities… but they were trashed. Stall #1 had no TP dispenser, the roll was on the back of the commode, and the bowl was chock full of the stuff. Stall #2 had a broken doorknob/lock mechanism. One hand dryer was stuck on, the other didn’t work, and both urinals were full of urine. I know they can’t control flushing… but periodic checks/cleanings and some repairs might be in order.  Just when I thought this place had their stuff together for once… My advice? When stopping here, use the facilities somewhere else. 1 person likes this review

…and these are the photos referenced:

I understand that the fact that at that time of night, there’s perhaps a smaller than usual crew, and that the West Liberty Ave. location is seemingly always busy.  I have been through the drive-thru at this time of night before, and it always seems slow, though it’s thankfully not as slow as the Wendy’s right down the street.  Those people have a whole different set of issues.  My friends and I call it “The Slow Wendy’s”.

I was just wondering what kind of cleaning & maintenance policies that you have in place?  Does management or ownership do any kind of inspection or follow-up?  Do inspections my the corporation ever occur?  I mean, surely you can’t think the photos above are an acceptable presentation of your restaurant chain?

I don’t know about you, but when I “gotta go”, it’s urgent!  The urinals looked filthy, si I opted for the stalls… one was stuffed, and one had a door that wouldn’t close.  I like to do my business in private, no interruptions.  Closing doors are a good thing!  Also… the lack of a TP dispenser, & the roll just being on the back of the thing…  I cannot imagine what would have happened had I needed to use that.  I mean, how uncomfortable would it be to reach behind yourself like that after…  Well, after doing your thing?

Thank you for your time, and the follow up.  I appreciate the fact that you took the time to inquire about the issue.

Sincerely,
-Eric

Maybe I should have included a link to the Wendy’s incident?  Not yet, my friends.  Not yet. I can’t wait to see what kind of response I get this time.  I love when it gets down to a real live person in charge of something.

Drive Thru Keys (343/365 12-09-2009)

Originally uploaded by CarusoPhoto

I haven’t shot with my Holga 135BC in a while, so I grabbed it as I was walking out the door this morning. I only had a couple of shots left on the roll that was already loaded, so I figured I could grab a shot or two for my photo today and still have time to get it developed and scanned.

The Holga 135BC is a 35mm version of the classic Holga…not a Holga modified to accept 35mm (which I have also done). The thing I really like about this particular model is that it intentionally gives a very nice vignetting effect, hence the BC (“black corners”) designation.

I made this one while stopped at a stop light on Lawrence Ave. in Chicago.

Made with a Holga 135BC shooting Ilford Delta 400 and scanned from the negative.

This should be KFC, Sonic, and Chipotle’s new ad campaign.

Chipotle IS like a boss! Always telling me what to do and shit.

They have, 44 million according to the CDC, nearly 44 million Americans have no health insurance. That 'of people who pay out of pocket for their health. However, health care is becoming more affordable, because the walk – in clinics.

Wanted: Health Insurance

44 million Americans without health insurance. Unfortunately, all health insurance for Americans. You should not only> Health Insurance for the proper treatment of illness and injury, but also for the prevention, diagnosis and early detection.

When people have no health insurance, they worry about what they do when they are sick. That should be the least of their worries. It is main concern, whether it is a disease that could be treated in its early stages. You should also make the prevention of chronic diseases to worry about.

As adults, you should see A doctor at least once every two years. You need to get physical examinations and "well" visits. To check your weight, body mass index, body fat percentage, blood pressure, cholesterol and blood sugar. Many debilitating and costly chronic diseases can be prevented with these simple tests.

Toilet paper, deodorant and health care

Do not get to avoid the lack of health insurance, you can only view> Supplier. Walk-in clinics are a great choice for medical care. You can find clinics in several locations. They are, in some Wal-Mart, Target, and CVS stores as separate places. Wal-Mart clinics Get Well typical visit cost less than $ 65. You can guarantee your cholesterol, blood sugar and blood pressure. You can treat many common health problems. Find a Wal-Mart, the clinic in your area.

Wal-Mart is notthe only place that offers clinics. What is a Google search or check the Yellow Pages for a location near you. Go see a doctor because prevention is cheaper than treatment.

As I mentioned here, when you put warm food on a cold surface, it gets cold. If you pickup Chinese, Pizza or your favorite restaurant food then you don’t want it to get cold while you drive home.

Allow me to share a secret: seat heaters are not just for keeping your butt warm, they also make a great warming zone for your takeout.

If your car doesn’t have seat heaters then you have some other options. If it’s hot outside, put the food in your trunk.  It’ll stay warmer there than inside your car (where you’re trying to keep cool with the A/C). If it’s cold outside and you’ve got frozen food, you can also put them in the trunk.

If you do takeout a lot, consider buying a cooler/warmer that plugs into your cigarette lighter socket. Some vehicles even have these coolers/warmers built in.

Oh, and don’t be afraid to have some bag fries during the ride.

BrokenSecrets.com

Photo credit: Spitzgogo Chen (Creative Commons)

Today the hubby and I had plans to travel about two-hours away. As with most longer than normal drives this involves getting up a bit earlier than you may want to on a weekend and in many cases leaving your house without eating – and I personally am always hungry.

I wish I could remember what exit this was off of so that anyone who passes by it when they are in Ohio can have the opportunity for the amusement I was in for.

I chose to eat Subway instead of McDonald’s. We drove up and I remarked how sad and lonely the store looked – it was then that my husband pointed out the anomaly – DRIVE-THRU! Perhaps one of you has seen or heard of this but it was a particularly new one on me and I was just a bit excited.

Having brought my camera to make sure I start taking more pictures to keep you entertained I got it out. I really wanted to get out of the car to get more/better ones but there was a car waiting behind us at this point so all photos are taken from inside the car.

I was so excited about all of this I could barely order.

The food took longer than I felt it would if I had just gone inside. We were, however, VERY hungry by the time we had gotten here so perhaps that is only my tummy and not the clocks conclusion about all of this.

While we waited I decided to take hungry pictures. But those came out poopy.

Then I decided to take sneaky hungry pictures of my husband but apparently did not have the camera aimed where it should have been for the shots I wanted. He found this funny.

I felt compelled to take pictures of us getting the food to help prove the reality of this drive-thru.

SUCCESS . . .

. . . it tastes so good with mayonnaise.

Chewtime will be so proud of me for finally taking some food pictures!

Taking our senior band pics for the programs...

~~~~~~~~““““`~~~~~~~~

Ok. We were going to some football game in the middle of freaking nowhere and our bus driver got lost. Yea. So we decided to go to Tupelo to get some food. Yes the Tupelo where Elvis is from. Anyways, we get to Chik-fil-A and there’s a huuuuge line and we didn’t wanna wait. So we decided to walk across the street to Taco Bell except when we got there the dine-in was closed. Only the drive-thru was open… Being the smartasses we are, we formed an imaginary car and went thru the drive-thru… I filmed it of course. Lol. I think the lady working the register was bored or something. Maybe she just thought we were pathetic.. Either way she let us have some food, as long as we stayed out of the way. I guess she didn’t wanna have to fill out paperwork if one of us had gotten hit by a car.. You can’t say we don’t have fun in Band.. Lol. Us nerds know how to party.

Later Days,

HanKat

P.S.- Don’t go and try this… Apparently it’s illegal…

Heh. This is an older amusing one that wasn’t covered in my post about past W(aL)D insanity.

This one isn’t really completely in the W(aL)D category, as it’s a legitimate complaint… but still, it’s ridiculous enough to share. Below is the my initial email regarding the incident, and I actually broke my “no calls” rule to talk to a regional manager who was not amused.

You can see what she had to say as it all played out in a thread at PittsburghBeat.com.

At any rate, it pays to make problems like this known.

Enjoy!

-mE.
.seitilibasid gninrael fo nuf ekam ot ynnuf ton yllaer s’tI

Forwarded Message —-
From: Eric Carroll <me@myaddre.ss>
To: dnstech@wendys.com; dnsadmin@wendys.com
Sent: Mon, January 26, 2009 11:45:04 AM
Subject: Wendy’s in Dormont (Pittsburgh, PA) – W. LIBERTY #5

Hello,

I’d like to share with you a review of my experience at a local Wendy’s (W. LIBERTY #5 according to the Wendy’s store locator), also posted on UrbanSpoon.com. I don’t have very many “bad” reviews up, but this Wendy’s location has gone slow and messed up my order countless times.

I’d like to know how Wendy’s as a corporation feels about restaurants like this, and what (if any) measures are taken by corporate to see that this kind of thing doesn’t go on.

The full text of my review can be viewed here: http://www.urbanspoon.com/r/23/1346715/restaurant/Far-South-South-Hills/Wendys-Old-Fashioned-Hamburgers-Dormont-Pittsburgh

But I will also post it here for your consideration:

“Dave Thomas would be ashamed…” by ERiC AiXeLsyD (63 reviews)

January 26, 2009 – Doesn’t like it – Seriously. I know I”ve said these words before about McDonald’s… I get that it’s only fast food, it’s cheap, and that I shouldn’t expect much… but holy cow, is this consistently one of the slowest “fast food” restaurants that I’ve ever been to. Of course, like an idiot, I keep going back hoping that it might someday be an actual convenience. Let me share with you my latest adventure…

Sunday morning, my wife & I were on our way out to my Mom’s house in the ‘Burbs… so we thought we’d get a quick bite to eat. It was nearing the 11:00am mark, so I knew we were going to hit the breakfast/lunch changeover. We skipped the McDormontonald’s because the drive-thru line looked like rush hour in the Liberty tubes. Thankfully, Wendy’s appeared to be a ghost town. There was hardly anyone inside, and there was one car ahead of us in the drive-thru but they were all the way up at the window.

As we pulled up to the speaker to place our order, I asked if they were serving breakfast or lunch, & was informed that they were serving both. So, I ordered the breakfast chicken sandwich combo, and the wife ordered the #2 bacon panini combo.

After receiving the order in what would be considered a long wait in a normal fast food environment but translated to remarkably quick at this location, I pulled into a nearby spot to inspect the goods. (Sadly, a must any more.)We discovered that my order was fine, but the wife had received a sausage panini instead of the ordered bacon panini. I checked the receipt to see if I had mis-ordered the # of the combo. Nope. The receipt clearly stated BACON in that nifty dot-matrix receipt font.

My wife’s not a big fan of sausage patties, and she was reluctantly leaning toward just eating it because time was of the essence. I know I like to eat what I ordered & paid for, so I went inside to get what I thought would be a simple swap-out.

Oh my, was I wrong.

My first encounter was with the young girl at the cash register. I politely stated that we had just gone through the drive-thru and that I wanted to exchange the sausage panini that we had received for the bacon one that we ordered.

I was told that breakfast was over & that hey couldn’t make a bacon one. After a slight pause of disbelief and bewilderment, I told her that I had just been handed the sandwich less that a minute ago through the drive-thru window… and it had been made just seconds before that.

She then yelled for her manager, and I stepped aside so she could help the next customer.

Now, while never working at a fast food establishment, I do understand that changeover time is changeover time… something to do with eggs on the cooking surface and kitchen setup and all sorts of things that are surely beyond my comprehension as the average fast food consumer.

After a wait the manager (coincidentally the very same person who handed me the order through the drive-thru window) came over and I again explained my situation… and he looked at me. Yes. Just stared blankly at me. For an awkwardly long time. I actually started to wonder if he understood English & was capable of hearing. Compelled to break the silence, I even showed him the receipt that clearly said BACON. All caps. No confusion!

Again, I was met with “we’re serving lunch now, we can’t make that”. OK. I understand. I get that. The point now is what can you do for me?

I asked if I could get something else as compensation, and/or get my money back. (I think I was growing visibly frustrated by this point.)

I called the wife, explained to her the complexity of the situation, and she decided upon a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger. So, I asked for one of those… and waited… and waited… While a guy who had gone in line in front of me had ordered during my exchange with the manager was waiting too.

After a while he exclaimed with multiple expletives that it was a ridiculously long wait, and how it was un-f’n-believable that a fast food restaurant with 3 people in it and a packed kitchen could go so slow.

I could hardly contain my laughter as I was also driven to the limits of my patience.

After what was surely sufficient time to cook & assemble 20 Jr. Bacon cheeseburgers, I received that, AND my money back for the sausage panini (which was now in the trash right behind the counter). So, I guess I got a free cheeseburger, hash browns & a drink.

I never did get any kind of apology, or admittance that they had messed up the order. (Which bewilders me that one can read bacon off of a screen and put down sausage… but I’m certainly not above making mistakes… so I can’t fault anyone for that.)

I just find it amazing that they weren’t apologizing from the start and presenting a solution instead of waiting for me to come up with one.

You’d think they’d have a “keep the customer happy” policy in place. Don’t they teach you any of this when you go to school to be a manager at Wendy’s?Take mom n’ pop shops… if they screw up an order or take too long, they’d give you a discount or a free drink or a coupon for next time… and they’re certainly taking more of a profit hit than a chain that would do the same thing.

At any rate, don’t go to Wendy’s in Dormont if you’re in a hurry, or if you actually want what you ordered.

I like Wendy’s. I grew up eating at the one in Murrysville, I frequent the one in Canonsburg for lunch. You have decent food for a cheap price, and I generally feel that the quality is better than that of other fast food chains.

I’d love to be able to eat peacefully and grab a quick bite to eat at the Wendy’s closest to where I live.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on my experience, and I look forward to your reply.

Thank you for your time, and listening to my story.

-Eric Carroll

me@myaddre.ss

A fairly typical scenario is this:  A retail tenant decides that they want to open a shop and signs a lease for a space in a new strip center.  They need to either fit-up the space or renovate as the space is not suitable for their purposes as-is.  Their lease includes a provision that all work must be done under proper permits, so they run down to the local Inspections Department to pick up the “proper permits.”  The nice lady at the desk asks to see their drawings and they present a nice sketch that they did on graph paper the night before.  She explains that the sketch just isn’t “gonna do it,” and they really need to hire an Architect and/or Engineer to “draw up plans to Code” and submit the proper documents for permitting.  The tenant, who has been told nothing about this by their leasing agent, is shocked to learn that they may not be able to open next week as planned, and quickly goes about trying to find an Architect.

Right after “Archery Equipment & Supplies” in the Raleigh yellow pages stands the simple listing:  “Architects.”  After that follows contact information for some 145 architectural firms.  Gontram Architecture is #57 on the list.  We can always tell when someone is calling after finding our listing in the yellow pages.  Their question is straight to the point after having recited it 56 previous times.  “I need drawings for my store.  Do you have any on-file that I can come look at and buy?  I need permits today.”

It was happening often enough, we thought that would-be clients might actually be expecting a menu board in the parking lot and office lobby…

Drive Thru Menu for Architectural Services

They could pull up and order a complete set of permit drawings while idling at the curb….at Value Meal prices!

Unfortunately, even at these “fantasy” prices, architectural and engineering services are still an often unexpected, and un-budgeted, line item in some business plans.  Without exception, we have taken the time to explain to them what we do, and how we do it – that this is not a cookie-cutter process and that it takes time to provide the type of service that they are requesting.  Professional services are not (usually) quick, cheap, ready-made, off-the-shelf, etc.

Beyond protecting the health, safety and welfare of the public, there are many reasons why Architects are desirable for even a simple project.  In fact, properly performed architectural services can pay for themselves in a very short period of time.  Let’s face it, space is expensive, and maximizing the use of that space can save thousands of dollars over the terms of the lease or mortgage.  In the example of a retail store, space-saving techniques can be suggested which will maximize retail space, minimize wasted space, which gets more usable retail square footage for the same lease payment, or allow a tenant to lease less space while achieving the same goal.  Furthermore, quality design can enhance the retail experience and increase sales.  Let’s not forget about properly designed building envelopes and building systems, and their effects on utility bills.  And, finally, code compliance is imperative in this litigious society when you cater to the general public.

9 times out of 10, however, the surprised tenant moves on to #58 in the yellow pages, armed with a bit more knowledge about architectural services, but still seeking the firm with “drive-thru architectural services.”

And a large orange drink!

It seemed simple enough. 

I pulled into the drive thru of a local establishment for a breakfast sandwich and a caffeinated beverage this morning.  No big deal, right?

Wrong.

What happened next isn’t necessarily atypical, but it was a glaring example of how customer service is dying.

The woman in the drive thru repeated the beverage portion of my order and then began to do the same with my sandwich.  Then, she abruptly stopped and told me to drive around.

Odd.

I pulled to the window and paid.  I got my order and drove around the building toward the exit.  Some little voice in the back of my head told me to check the order.  I did.

It wasn’t even close.

What I ordered was a bisquit.

What I got was a taquito.  Or more appropriately, a breakfast taco.

How did she get “taquito” from “biscuit?”  I don’t care how bad the language barrier is, that’s not even close.

Which I guess brings me to the crux of my rant.

I’ve worked in a drive thru.  Its a pretty thankless job so I tend to give those folks a break most of the time.  However, this isn’t the first time this same woman has done this to me.  The only difference was that this time I checked the bag before I was too far gone.

The fault lies with the manager.  The audio capacity of the basic drive thru is akin to that of a tin can phone and a piece of string.  The person you put in the hole is at a disadvantage to begin with.  Why would you make it worse by putting someone who doesn’t have a secure grasp of the language in the drive thru.

Of course, the fact that the manager had the same issues, only from a different continent, when I went in to get the problem corrected told me all I needed to know.

Yes, I asked for my order to be fixed and the manager got it wrong too.

It took me three fucking tries to get a “sausage biscuit with cheese.”

Customer service people, you have GOT to do better.  If you don’t understand me, ask me to repeat myself.  I don’t mind.  It’ll be better for both of us.  Trust me.

Don’t make me shout “no huevos cabron” into the tin speaker as my co-workers suggested.  That’s only going to piss me off.

Do your job and I’ll be very pleasant.

Mess up my breakfast order again and I’m gonna go Mike Tyson on someone.  I’ll already be hungry.

Thank you and please come again.

i don’t know about you, but i am definitely a huge fan of sesame street. thinking back, it was probably the first thing i remember watching on TV. 40 years ago today, they aired the very first episode. can’t believe it’s been that long!

and here’s a video of elmo being interviewed on the drive thru… teehee!

That was me last night…so mad I could have spit nails!  Not aggravated, not frustrated, just plain M-A-D!  So much so that the lighthearted post I had roughed out in my head all day was irretrievable!

This morning I’m not quite as mad but I’m still ready to spit tacks.  In the grand scheme of things I’m wasting a ton of energy on something that doesn’t really have any negative impact on me, but once a principle is involved, watch out, I grab hold and just can’t let go. 

I need to vent…

Yesterday afternoon I went to the bank drive-thru as I do every Thursday afternoon.  When I rounded the corner and was stopped in heavy parked traffic, four cars in each of the two drive-thru lanes ahead of me, I should have figured out that something was amiss.  Instead I decided that the teller was new and/or the computers were slow, hence the backup.  After a few frustrating minutes of not moving, a glance into my rearview mirror yielded two cars behind me so there was no escape…I just had to suck it up and wait.

When I finally inched forward to second position in my line, the one closest to the building, I was entertained by the argument the lead customer in the other lane was having with the teller, the most amusing part being that the customer was looking into the tube box that sucks your transation up and over to the teller instead of looking across at the teller in the window.  Seems the customer was unable to split a check, deposit part and get cash back, a transaction that according to the customer, was something she always did.

The ongoing exchange of words should have been unheard by me thanks to warning bells in my head, but alas, I wasn’t that smart.  Instead I was busy thinking that the customer was trying to do something with a personal check that she does with a payroll check.  Since she wasn’t going to be able to access her cash until the next day I did think about the impact that could have on her life if she seriously needed the money right away.

The customer took her transaction back in a huff then the teller turned her attention to the guy in front of me.  A minute or two after she began his transaction the two of them started a conversation, then the drawer opened and the guy retrieved a piece of paper and a pen.

Now I was really getting ticked off!!!  The guy had been in line for at least 15 minutes and he didn’t have everything ready?!?!?!?!  GGGGggrrrr….   He did what he needed to do on the paper, returned it to the teller then pulled away a couple minutes later.

Fortunately the customer in the outside lane knew his stuff and was done quickly.

Then it was my turn, a full 22 minutes after I first pulled into line.

After nearly two minutes, the teller came back to me.

“I’m sorry, you can’t split your check between two accounts.”

“Excuse me?  I don’t want cash back, just some put in my household account and the balance in my everyday account.”

“I understand, but the check needs to be deposited in full into one account and won’t be available until tomorrow.”

“What???  That’s a payroll check!”

“I know ma’am but that’s our policy.  You can transfer the funds tomorrow.”

Here’s where the conversation became a repeat of that with the outside lane lady…

“But I’ve been doing this every week for the past 4-1/2 years!”

“I understand, but Chase began this new policy on October 26th.  If you sign up for direct deposit you can have your funds split and they would be available to you today.”

“But I did this same transation last week on the 29th!”

Silence from the teller.

“And my company doesn’t offer direct deposit.”  (Really, they don’t offer it — if they did I would have signed up instantly instead of having to make a weekly trek to the bank)

“Then you’ll need to deposit your check in full into one account and wait until tomorrow to use the funds.”

The teller sent one deposit slip back, I initialed the change needed and gave it back to her.  I left the bank and fumed over the whole thing as I drove the 3 miles to the food store.  When Chase bought Washington Mutual they went to great pains to let the WaMu customers know that nothing would change.  I knew that was hogwash but this is the first evidence of it.  Chase wants their transations to be done by machines instead of with people, hence the “have payrolls checks direct deposited or they’re unavailable for a day” penalty policy.

I tried very hard to quell my aggravation, reminding myself that waiting a day and transferring money on-line is NOT a big deal.  And if I need some working capital (as my Dad calls wallet filling paper), there’s always some available in my account so I can use the ATM or write a check to get cash back when I make my deposit.

But it’s the principle of the whole thing…

As the anger was abating I parked my car at the foodstore and reached over to grab my purse.   That’s when I discovered my house key ring with mini wallet attached was still sitting on the passenger seat.  In a flash I knew why.

The teller never gave me back my license!!  If I had my license it would have been snugly inside the mini wallet and the whole thing would have been inside my purse.

A very colorful selection of words flew from my lips as I ransacked my purse, mini wallet, full wallet and front seat area of the car, the whole time knowing that my license was still at the bank.

I drove back to the bank, acutely aware of my speed and in cop-lookout overdrive so that I wouldn’t further compound the events of the past half hour.  I pulled into the last available parking space at the bank and went inside where I was confronted with a teller line at least two dozen customers long.  I hooked a right and talked with a manager who quickly went to the drive-thru and returned my license to me.

When I walked out of the bank the end of the drive-thru line was IN the parking lot so at least 15 cars long, a situation I had never seen before.  The parking lot was still overflowing and cars were circling in an effort to find a parking space.  Again, something I’d never seen before.

I had a twinge of pity for the tellers and managers and all the grief they were getting this first payday of the new policy enforcement, as they’re just the messengers, and it was very evident that they were getting a LOT of grief.  But then the “all about me” attitude returned and I smirked.

Then I got angry…again.

Then I stopped at the food store…again…but this time I went inside.

There are two things that I’m afraid of – snakes and the people who take my order in any fast food drive-thru; not necessarily in that order. 
 
I don’t know if it’s just me, but it seems that every person who stands in that window has some sort of a noticeable defect.  Either their lips are chapped, their hair is unkempt or they have the personality of a hooded cobra.  
 
These entry level workers are bringing down the face value of their fine bleach-scented establishments.  They are causing us hard working, grease lovers to resort to – dare I say it – dieting!  We are resorting to bringing our own lunches to work because there is no longer any appreciation for all of us paying customers and the service we expect.  We do not pay to hear teeth sucking, employee rants and the events of last evening.  We do not pay for eye rolling, bad armpit odor or smart ass comments.  We are paying for good food, good service and part of the mean ass employees’ paycheck. 
 
There is something to be said for good manners, even as the rules of social behavior apply to a drive-thru. For example, what’s with the chick in the drive-thru window with the attitude problem?  You know who I’m talking about – the girl who chews her gum like a cow or barely gives you any eye contact.  The girl who gets offended because she can’t hear her cell phone conversation through her Bluetooth because you’re too busy trying to place an order.  Heaven forbid you change your order or check your bag to make sure everything’s accurate. 
 
Attention fast food manager, this girl and anyone like her should be fired!  She is the reason why most Americans find working in a fast food chain so revolting and demoralizing.  She epitomizes the paid non-worker, the underachiever, the trailer park prom queen and the home girl with the oversized gold-plated earrings.  This is the girl to beware of.  She is the one who will give you a sudden urge to raise your voice or drag her through the window by her dull, worn-out weave, all because she missed that very important class on good manners and customer service.  
 
I say it’s time for fast food chains of the world to revert back to the olden days when drive-thrus were respected for their chic and hip idea of good quality service.  Customers now-a-days would appreciate a little service with a smile as we face an economic crisis, heavy workloads and supervisors who really need to get laid.  Bring back the days when Ronald McDonald strolled the grounds of McDonald’s waving happily at children while wearing his signature floppy red shoes and that ridiculously hideous yellow onesy.  Get rid of that scary ass Burger King mascot who looks more like the puppet from the horror film “Saw” and give us an image that will not haunt us after we’ve closed our eyes for the night.  
 

We, paying customers of the world, are uniting to ban fast food that is not served to us quickly.  We are refusing to lie down and accept that you’ve run out of French fries or that your milkshake machine is out of order.  We will no longer accept the incompetence of trainees during the lunch rush.  In fact, we are going to rise up and rebut against the ignorance of your will to succeed.  You have somehow managed to crap all over the integrity of the fast food franchise that began way back as early as the 1930’s.  Our voices will be heard!  
 
So guys and gals, the next time your neighborhood fast food window teller crosses your muddy path with spiked heels, don’t yell at her.  Don’t curse at her.  Don’t even argue with her.  This way you’ll have a bit of assurance that she won’t spit on your food or wipe your hamburger patty on the side of the deep fryer.  Instead, take your car and drive it through the window.  If that doesn’t work, throw up the deuce sign and drive off.  No no no…of course I wouldn’t advise that you let it go that easily.  Make sure you return after-hours, when the business has closed for the night and burn that sucker to the ground!  Lighters are sold at the $1 Store and comes in a pack of five.  
 
I hope something that I’ve said has sparked you to stand up for your right to demand extra fries when a disgruntled fast food employee gives you a hard time for being more successful than they are.  Someone else’s ignorance should not be your hindrance.  If you don’t get those extra fries, crawl across the counter and go get them yourself!  Well folks, if you take my advice and live to tell about it, feel free to come back!  I am a cornucopia of information and you’d be surprised at the extent of my knowledge.  Just remember not to knock on my door or ring my phone before 11am.  If you do, your ass will get cut!  That’s not a threat.  It’s a promise. 
 
Until next time my little chitterling flavored Chico-Stix!  Don’t forget – 90% of any effort is getting started. 
 
 
Quote of the week:    “The journey of a thousand pounds begins with a single burger.”
 
Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/mrhollywood2009

The Skelmersdale Champion picked up on the story I blogged about earlier this week on the planning application for part of the BP garage site on Railway Road.

In the Champion article, written by David Simister (by the way, check out his informative blog here) , a spokesman for Starbucks said that they “don’t have any plans for Skelmersdale at this time” (my italics) and the whole of their response had an air of caught on the hop about it insofar as they didn’t realise it would become public knowledge so early on.

Seems strange but if they didn’t want people to know they were planning an outlet there, it would have been more sensible to have submitted the plans without the ‘Starbucks’ signage on the architectural drawings – this aspect of the application could easily have been added on as a variation at a later stage.

However, I suspect their ‘no plans for Skelmersdale at this time’ quote means that if the planning application is approved, they may just sit on it for a few years because, generally, granted applications have a shelf life of around three or four years before they expire, at which point they have to be put before the council again such the applicant wish to pursue it.

However, even if the plan gets approved but Starbucks pulls out, another operator could easily jump in and use the building.

Skelmersdale already has a KFC and a McDonald’s drive thru at the Concourse though, but I doubt they’d move from such a central location, so that only leaves Burger King.

Of course, a new operator could amend the plan to get rid of the drive-thru aspect or just simply not use it, thus opening the door for a wider variety of operators, maybe even Costa Coffee, Pizza Hut etc…

Lots of if, buts and maybes but either way, it’ll be interesting to see how this one pans out.

What you think you will be in the future, and where you actually end up

Graph by: dunno source via Graph Jam Builder