That’s the sound of the rain, banging against our window.

It’s another one of those dull grey days. Most people choose to stay inside.

However, Rocky and I decide to go for a walk. We’d never go for a stroll if it wasn’t raining. He’s a terrapin, which means he likes being wet. I’m a human and like getting soaked too. I look outside the window and smile.

“Great! Lots of puddles, Rocky!” I say and put my raincoat and wellies on.

Once outdoors, thick clouds of evermore rain force the few remaining people inside. Not Rocky and me. We like the rain. (The more, the better!).

We stroll along, jumping from puddle to puddle, splashing each other with water. Rocky takes the lead. He’s faster than you’d think.

“Wait up, Rocky!” I shout. He turns around and gives me one of his looks. He’s annoyed that I’m unable to keep up.

“My wellies are a size too big and I forgot to put two pairs of socks on!” I try to explain. Still, he’s determined to make the most of the puddles and the rain so ploughs on.

We continue to move by jumping from puddle to puddle. Rocky’s a couple of puddles ahead of me, when I notice that he stops in his tracks. I finally catch up and try to make out what he’s looking at. He’s mesmerised.

“Wow!” I say. 

In front of us, right in front of our eyes, there’s a sweeping brush and dustpan the size of a chubby cottage. The weird thing is that it’s moving on its own accord. There’s nobody here who’s controlling it. Sweep, sweep, sweep. It’s sweeping up all the dirt and rubbish around it, frantically.

“I don’t think it likes mess,” I say to Rocky. He nods and continues to watch. (I wish I could tell you that I’m no fan of mess either but the truth of the matter is that Rocky and I are rather on the messy side!)

The colossal brush continues to sweep empty crisp packets, expired bus tickets, chocolate wrappers, plastic bags and old chips (I know!) onto the pan. The contents are then emptied into a huge hole that reminds me of an ever-chewing mouth: greedy and ravenous.

“We could do with a hole like that,” I say to Rocky, who’s still observing the sweeping action. He glances my way, telling me to zip it, when it happens.

The giant brush catches sight of us. In one swift sweeping motion it moves our way, making bigger and faster brush-strokes. It is angry.

“Oh no, Rocky, what shall we do?” I say.  I’ve no intentions of being swept up or eaten alive by that ever-greedy mouth.

I panic. I want to scream but that wouldn’t be any use. There’s nobody here. Just Rocky, me, the giant brush and that chewing mouth in the ground. We have to think fast. The brush is approaching and is just about to sweep us up when Rocky does a star-jump and bites its handle.

The brush stops for a second, trying to process what has just happened. Rocky and I use the distraction and run, as fast as we possibly can, until we reach a puddle. We jump in with all our power, hoping to splash the brush senseless, when we fall and fall, down the puddle, ever downwards, at enormous speed.

“We need something to slow our fall!” I shout at Rocky. He thinks speedier than we plummet and motions that I should take his arms and legs. I do as he tells me and we almost stop mid-air. Rocky and his shell function as a parachute. We begin to float down gently now, descending into darkness, when I have an idea (I must add that I had five-bean-chilli for my tea).

I let out a fart and for a split second we begin to float upwards, not downwards. Rocky, who can’t hold his nose because I’m holding on to his arms and legs wretches but lets me know to try again.

I fart again and again for a split second we move upwards again, only to be pulled down shortly afterwards. I try again and the same happens. Until nothing happens.

“I’m all out of farts!” I apologise. Rocky looks confused. He doesn’t know whether to be relieved or worried.

I look down but all I can make out is black.

Suddenly, I see a faint light as we approach the end of our dive. We land softly on double yellow lines.

Rocky starts shaking his arms and legs out (they have been stretched to the maximum) when we catch sight of a sign. It says “Crafts”. There’s a door underneath the sign.

“Shall we go in?” I ask Rocky, who doesn’t seem to be sure. We look up to where we came from when we see outlines of the giant brush.

“Oh no, it must have followed us,” I whisper. We look at each other and open the door.

“An angry brush and dustpan, a hungry hole in the ground, a puddle passageway to an underground door leading to “Crafts”.  Whatever next?” I say as we enter, our hearts beating faster than a herd of running antelopes, and louder than a group of outraged drums.

Over and out.

• Upright broom and dust pan set snap together and store compactly
• Broom features soft padded handle and oval shape for secure fit in hand
• 4-cup dust pan locks in place for better control; rubber lip provides maximum floor contact
• Dustpan swivels upright and broom nests inside for a slim, neat profile
• Measures 36 inches by 8-3/4 inches by 3 inches and weighs 1 pound, 13 ounces

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Rating: (out of reviews)

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About two weeks ago, I had an energy spurt one day and I literally cleaned the whole house. It drained me the two days after, but boy was it satisfying. I posted on fb about my cleaning extravaganza and my friend Michelle said “nesting”. I thought replied “no way, I’m way too early still to be nesting..” (being only 28/29 weeks)

However, I think she was absolutely right. Ever since that day, I have been cleaning like a maniac. Literally, to where now I’m like “hmmm there’s not much else to clean”…so now I’m organizing! I can’t believe this is starting so early. I’m ecstatic!! I still have a good 8 weeks to go. WOO HOO! Do you realize how much organizing I can get done in 8 freakin‘ weeks??? I think a trip to Ikea and The Container Store is in need very soon!

I tried to capture Hay cleaning with me today on my camera. I was sweeping the kitchen and she went into the laundry room and brought out the mini dust pan and broom. I about died from cuteness. She still doesn’t quite understand how to use the set, but she put the pan on the floor next to my dirt pile with little rocks…(because we have about a half-acre of just dirt as our backyard) and with her mini broom in her left hand, she picks up the tiny rocks one by one with her right hand and sets them in the dust pan. Once again, I about fell over from how freakin’ cute this was. I really wanted to call G and tell him, but I know with him being a man and honestly just a story wouldn’t really do justice, he would say “haha ok, that’s cute hunny…” which is code for you really called to tell me this? During my really busy day? So, needless to say, I didn’t call him. I saved him the time and myself the unintentional hurt feelings.

The next best thing I thought would be to get my camera out and capture this moment. The camera read “dead battery” Doh. :0( I really need to buy a second battery to have on hand. That and 3 new lenses that I have on my wish list.

Oh, the wish list…this will have to be dedicated to a completely different post. I’ll be sure to do this post next. :0) That will be fun!

So, basically…I didn’t tell G about the cute cleaning move Hay did and I didn’t get pictures. I’m sure she’ll do it again, but it won’t be the same. *sigh*

Well, I’m off to do my one load of laundry with 4 shirts and 4 shorts…lol man I need something to do to keep me busy…

Image via Wikipedia

I remember a day, back when I was five or six years old at the most. My siblings were in school and I was home alone with my mom. Mom’s brother, my uncle Joe, stopped by for lunch as he often did.

That particular morning mom got interrupted by a phone call and I thought I’d help her out by finishing up sweeping the floor. The broom was obnoxiously taller than I and difficult to dance with, but I thought I managed pretty well for a little guy. I found the dustpan, swept some dirt into it, emptied it, and repeated the motions several times: dustpan down, sweep around, a little more dirt, empty trash, dustpan on the ground….

I don’t know how many times I emptied the dustpan—I’m sure the floor wasn’t that dirty—but in time the repetition became a chore as the big dust bunnies were cleared away and I had to keep shifting the dustpan and balancing the giant broom to capture less and less dirt. Finally I had had enough, and looking to make sure my mother’s back was turned, I dismissed the last faint thin line of dirt with a flick of the broom. That’s when I saw Uncle Joe.

Uh-oh. I knew Uncle Joe wouldn’t like what he just saw.

“Give up, huh?” he asked.

“There was nothing left,” I lied.

“Well, there was some left…. You know what you did,” he smiled. “Where do you think that dirt went? You know your mom will just have to sweep it up tomorrow.”

Then he rubbed my head, gave me a big hug, and we went to the kitchen for lunch. He probably taught me to spell another word or two, because he always did that, and then we horsed around a bit. But I always wondered how long it would take my mom to sweep up the grains of dirt I flicked away.

Because that morning’s snapshot has long remained among the slides that play unconsciously in my mind, it’s no wonder that even today, more than fifty trips around the sun later, I wonder “where’s their dustpan?” as I drive past lawn crews blowing grass clippings into the street.

This morning it hit me hard. Perhaps there were more than the usual numbers of grass blowers unconsciously shooting grass bullets at my car. Where’s their dustpan? Where do they think the grass clippings go? Who’s going to pick up the grass tomorrow?

Then it occurred to me that Uncle Joe was onto something. I mentioned that he was always teaching me vocabulary and spelling. Tenacity was a favorite word of his and he would make me repeat it again, and again, and again. Tenacity, t-e-n-a-c-i-t-y, stick-to-it-ive-ness. I didn’t show tenacity as a five-year old. I gave up. I swept a lot of dirt, but I didn’t finish the job. It seems to me these lawn guys are giving up too, but they’re adults! They just blow their mess into the street for others to clean up. I mean, it was bad enough for me as a five year old with a big broom to give up, but these guys are professional giver uppers. They’re paid to give up and they don’t even try to get the big dust bunnies! They just blow their mess all over everyone else.

I get the sense that too often too many of us fail to finish jobs. We leave them undone; leave them for someone else to clean up. “Good enough,” we tell ourselves as we ignore what’s left to do, make excuses, and sweep away our responsibilities with justifications. All the while thinking we’ll never have to clean up.

What are some things you’ve left undone lately? Have you forgotten to hug or to hold your child long enough today? Have you put off that phone call again? Maybe you need to clean up that little misunderstanding with your spouse? Is there really anyone else at work who can complete that project you’ve been dancing around? Let’s pick up our brooms!

Let’s all dance with our brooms until the last line of dirt disappears onto the dustpan. Then we can enjoy lunch with a sense of accomplishment knowing no one has to come around behind us to sweep up our mess. We don’t need power blowers, we need to continue the dance a little longer.

Once  the thundersnowstorm settled yesterday, and the sun started shining, I ventured into 22 inches of sparkle for a glorious winter walk. A bit into my unplanned journey, I noticed a young man vigorously digging out his silver Jetta. So, I randomly asked with a grin, “Do you need some help?” And he chuckled, exclaiming “Really!? Hah. You don’t have to.. but, sure” in disbelief.  As I shoveled with a dustpan and he scraped off his hood I learned he is no stranger at all- Eric is actually my neighbor just two floors down.  He lived where Dawson’s creek was filmed in North Carolina after college. I lived where the O.C was filmed after college.  We both love snow and living in Chicago…. but hey, where else would you meet a stranger that would gladly help you shovel snow with a dustpan?

SEOT inspiration of the day: Help out a stranger.

earring, MAC lip gloss, hair clips,

a box of tampons.

“C amper Van Beethoven” II and III.  I think the C fell off the paste up board and was incorrectly lined up again.  Camper Van Beethoven placed the Star of David on the album for no other reason than to confuse people.  The symbol has such heavy meaning while this record was purposely devoid of any coherent meaning, messages or interpretation. On Subsequent pressings the star was removed after we were hammered by Rough Trade about the symbol.  They were worried that the obliqueness of our songs and the record would eventually lead to terrible mis-interpretations of our intent. Some sort of radical zionist or anti-semitic interpretation of one our songs. who knows.

Part of the charm of camper van beethovens earliest records that they sometimes contained half baked ideas,  studio experiments and things that were really only partially finished.

Some might disagree.  But when I look back on these records I think that it was cool we had the self confidence to not take things so seriously.  Most young artists tweeze their records to death.  Over polish and over arrange each song.  They remove every little imperfection.  They constantly fret how each song will be perceived.  We did none of this.  As noted above we put one of the most meaningful symbols of the  20th century on the cover of II and III for no apparent meaning.

In 1985 and 1986 underground rock music was a very serious business to most of our friends and peers.  Lyrics were serious.  The music was serious.  Everything was very important and burdened with meaning. We were very aware of this.

I noted this in earlier posts that Camper Van Beethoven was purposely messing with that notion right from the start.  From the choice of the band name,  to the non-sensical “Take the skinheads bowling”. We felt it our mission to be seriously unearnest.

But part the way through the second album and especially on the third album  we started doing this in a different way.  We started including weird sonic experiments and including them in the record.  Half finished songs.  We included these also.   They weren’t bullshit filler,  but neither were they 100% serious endeavors.  Some were accidents.Like putting the tape on the reel upside down.  so the wrong tracks played and were backwards.

We came to believe that if we tried too hard to arrange these accidents and turn them into a real song we would ruin the original flawed yet briefly beautiful idea.

Others were songs we felt  just weren’t enough of an idea to be a real song of proper length and scope. So instead of struggling to make them a second rate “song” with lyrics and a standard verse chorus verse chourus bridge chorus outro structure,  we let them be as they were.

We WERE earnest about some things. We had the earnest belief that we were creating a sort of demi-song,  an overlooked and under appreciated form of music.

04 Turtlehead

The first entry is a Chris Molla penned ditty.  A “small idea” I remember him terming it.  A small spinning tension.  Release in the repeated abrupt stops.  An explosive atonal bridge. Then release in the repeated abrupt stops.  No words.  The title ?  I have no idea.

12 Circles

Circles was created by listening to the song the song Oh No backwards.  We learned the structure and kind of played along with it. In the A and C sections. We added a few incidental melodies with guitar and keyboard but nothing that could be considered a focal point an actual melodic theme that ties the song together.  The only part of the song that makes an effort at being a real song is the B section where we let the words to chorus play backwards.

13 We’re All Wasted and We’re Wasting All Your Time

This was also done at about the same time as circles.  This is jonathan and victor singing along to Take The Skinheads Bowling backwards.  I thin anthony guess or chris molla is also drumming along with it.  It’s got a sort of reggae rock steady feel. weird.  But again. Its just a thrown away chorus.  Perfectly joyful and mischievous.

13 Dustpan

This hard driving collection of guitar chords changes and arpeggios would have been used by most bands for the basis for a song with lyrics.  Even CVB in a more traditional mood would have tied it all together with an instrumental melody line.  Neither of these happened.  It was left this way.

17 Cattle (reversed)

Another song that contains what would normally be a good set of riffs,  an A and B section that should have made a good basis for a psychedelic blues song that an early led zeppelin or fleetwood mac might have played.  There should have been some robert plant hobbit rock lyrics over the top of this.  but no we were content with the “response” lines of the guitars.  The fact the “call” vocal lines are missing qualify this as a demi- song.    Arguing against that is the strange interlocked guitar parts in the B section.  They are of two different lengths so they phase against each other.  This is more interesting and makes this part of the song a more full fledged instrumental.  The title of this song came from a randomly drawn celtic rune. (kind of like tarot cards)  we went through a period of naming songs in this manner.  Abundance (tarot card)  The fool (tarot card).

16 Zztop Goes to Egypt

This song really doesn’t  belong in this category.  The only reason i put it in this category is that it doesn’t have two traditional elements of a fully fledged CVB song.  A repeated consistent melody or lyrics.  The main feature of the song is jonathans multiple tracks of modal violin noodlings.  The song slowly builds in intensity. After the crescendo it pedals and slowly decays.  That is the arc of the song.  Building tension a climax and decay.  It is however the most successful of our melody less psychedelic demi-songs. People always shout out for it at shows.

03 Five Sticks

This is pretty much ambiguity song backwards.  Or parts of it.  It was the result of putting the reel of tape on the machine upside down.  We made a stereo mix of it and then figured out how to play along with it.  It has a strange beauty.  Like an ancient text in a lost language.  Untranslatable.  I assume we called it 5 sticks to continue the reference to Led Zeppelin’s fourth effort.   The Led Zeppelin album features a track called 4 sticks.  get it?  I mentioned in an earlier post we always considered this album our 4th album.  The second album was both the second and third album  hence the curious title II and III.  It was recorded in two different sessions.

Also while on the subject.  We toyed with using symbols as the album title.  Just like Led Zeppelin.  However we did not.  What we did do was give the album a title that no one could find.  Unless you were looking very closely.  The album does have a title.  The title is “Soviet Spies Swim Upstream Disguised as Trout”  It’s right there in the liner notes.  And on etched in the inner groove of the first run of vinyl.  We titled it this way because we had an obsessive fan that would write us nearly everyday.  In one of the letters she (?) said she dreamed the next Camper Van Beethoven album was titled “Soviet Spies Swim Upstream Disguised as Trout”.  et voila.

07 Surprise Truck

This was simply a damn good riff that didn’t want to have a B section or anything other musical variatiion attached to it.  Relentless with just some off the cuff bullshit lyrics about “the surprise truck”.  (the “surprise truck” was the apparently the literal translation of hezbollahs code term for their then novel suicide bomb trucks).

08 Stairway To Heaven (sic)

So Led Zeppelin’s 4th and untitled obliquely titled record contained Stairway to Heaven.  Well we decided we needed a track of approximately the same name.  Of course we changed the spelling and added “sic” (Spelling incorrect). Largely because we had all just read Hammer of the Gods and we’re pretty sure Peter Grant or some english thug who worked for Led Zep  would show up and break our legs.  This track is the most accidental.  It starts with a live recording of CVB playing an after hours illegal show in The Icehouse in Fayetteville Arkansas.  It was a very early very slow version of the song processional.  Someone is playing a weird toy piano or something.  It then goes into a Mao Reminisces about his Days in Southern China.  With extra instruments dubbed in forward.  Most notably a distorted slide and a dumbek. But the great accident is when the previous song on the real comes in.  It’s Folly for two.  It’s backwards cause we were always flipping the tape upside down to do these manipulations.  We didn’t intend for that last bit to be on the recording but it did.

09 Pope Festival

Another interesting case is this song.  It doesn’t really count as a demi-song.  but there is something cool about the unfinished non-words and dense repetitive arrangement.  Later when it went onto Our Beloved Revolutionary Sweetheart album,  it got “produced”  it has a better arrangement and structure but becomes quite inconsequential. It was also retitled “The Fool”.

12 The Fool

10 Interlude

And then all those demi-songs disappear once we start making our albums for Virgin Records.  With one notable exception the track “Interlude” from Key Lime Pie.   This is simply Garth Hudson – yes that Garth Hudson from the Band- warming up on his pump organ as the microphones and such are being placed and adjusted.

Later when the band reforms these demi songs these sonic experiments come back into play.  Camper Van Beethoven is Dead Long Live Camper Van Beethoven is largely made out of these pieces of music. Tom Flower’s 1500 valves being the most notable piece.  The drums are from a reel of drumbeats that Chris pedersen sent to us.  The strings are a chopped up bit of Dixie Babylon strings.  Jonathan and victor played along to this loop. I’d just watched a show on the Bletchley Park. This was Britain’s brilliant codebreaking enterprise in WWII.  Thomas Flowers was the unsung hero.  He built one of the first working computers if not the very first.  It used 1500 valves or tubes.  We made up the song in a few hours. Jonathan tagged on a very discouraging message to him from PJ Harvey, rejecting his suggestion she sing on his solo album.

03 Tom Flower’s 1500 Valves

finally I hate this part of Texas and Come out to show them are similar type songs from New Roman Times. But we already went into great detail about both of these.

Tom Flowers 1500 valves

Contains recording of a phone message where PJ Harvey rejects music from a tape sent to her by Jonathan Segel. Further info from David Lowery: "Thomas Flowers was the British postal service engineer who with Alan Turing built the first (years before the americans) electronic computer (Colossus?), allegedly powered by 1500 valves.  I watched a BBC documentary on Bletchley Park some years ago, and i believe these are more or less the historical facts, of course its all a little foggy to me now. Bletchley Park (sic?): the site of english and allied efforts to break german ciphers in W.W.II. Cipher Girls: the corps of young women who were hired to work by hand all the possible permutations once a code was partially broken. Monty: Montgomery. Ultra: the Cipher Girls slang for decoded german communications Valve: English term for Vacuum tube. Tunnyfish: nickname for the german u-boat cipher, apparently the most difficult to break." [INTRO:] [A] [BREAK:] [A]-[Bm]-[E]-[C#m]-[D]-[Bm]-[Esus4]-[E] [A] Bletchley Park - [Bm] what a lark [E] Cipher girls, they’re [C#m] dressed in curls They [D] gave to Monty [Bm] the very best of their [E] Ultra And Thomas Flower in his hour, It’s 1500 valves were powered And tunnyfish, is permanently broken [BREAK] (unintelligible echoey voices) [BREAK] (voice of PJ Harvey): [A] “Hi Jonathan, this is Polly, [Bm] er, got your call, and thanks very much for [E] sending that CD and demo tape that Ann? showed my Mum?. Erm, I listened to the [C#m] tape and, er, I don’t [D] feel that it’s the right kind of #thing for me to [Bm] be doing, it’s just not, I don’t feel the [Esus4] mood is right for me, so I, [E] I’m sure you’ll understand. Erm, it was real good to [A] see you the other day. Errm, I-I [Bm] hope it all goes well for you, and er, [A] keep in touch, get your card? off?, and maybe you’ll find that [Bm] recording in Majorca/New Yorker? should last [A] through, kind of help proof? some different? songs?. [Bm] So, er, yeah, really good to see you Jonathan. [A] Take care. Bye.”

WHAT’S THAT OVER THERE!?

Is it a mess? Did you make a mess? Even just a tiny one? A speck of lint? Some toenail clippings? Please let me clean it up! Please? I really need to clean it up… Oh god, just… just promise me you won’t let the trash pile up like you did yesterday. I thought I was going to have a heart attack.

The leaves are starting to fall and many people are dreading having to rake them up. It doesn't have to be a chore though, if you use the right tools. You wouldn't dig a hole with a spoon, so don't pick leaves up with a dustpan. Rake "n" Sweep holds up to 40 gallons of debris, is 20 times faster, and a lot easier on your back than repeatedly bending over. Stand up straight and rake it in!

Order your Rake "n" Sweep or BagJaw now before you need it. You'll buy it for leaves, but you'll use it around the house all year round.  www.rakensweep.com

Here's the Rake "n" Sweep video www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgvIs0U3xwU

Here's the BagJaw video  www.youtube.com/watch?v=oG5UBumN3J8&NR=1


Camera settings: Canon T1i, F/5.6, 1/6 sec., ISO 3200, focal length 55 mm.  No flash.

For the past two weekends Jimmee and I have been keeping our eyes open for garage sales while we’re out and about on Friday and Saturday.  We found some pretty good deals last weekend, but this weekend I think we got a late start.  I think you really have to get up early for the good finds since the pros are up at the crack of dawn making the rounds.

These are some of our lucky finds:

I thought this apron was really cute with its little red polka dots!  It seems that aprons are everywhere these days, especially vintage ones.  I went shopping on Friday to a couple of boutiques in OKC, and I think there was at least one apron in every store!  I can understand why because they’re so darn cute!

Find number 2: cool antique frames and prints.

It looks like the picture of the bird is just a clipping from a newspaper, but it seemed interesting since it’s a very old newspaper.

The next two are Japanese and are signed by the artist.  I don’t know who he is, but he did a nice job!

And this old mirror!  It will look great on a white wall with a couple of the other mirrors that I have hanging around.

Next up is a dustpan, which may not seem very exciting, but if you know about my passion for a clean floor then it makes sense.  It’s much more exciting than the industrial black one I have right now.

This brown table cloth may or may not look good in our new dining room, but I thought it was worth a shot for 3 bucks.

The final photo of the day is some stitched notecards with little flowers.   Very handy for a short thank-you note or to say hello…

I hope everyone has a nice weekend and enjoys the warm summer weather!  We are definitely enjoying the sunny days after all the storms.

It’s a well known fact that this handy dandy item is JUST NOT WELL KNOWN.  I, myself only learned about its myriad uses in the last couple of years and as you all know, I’m no spring chicken and I have been a housewife, homemaker for a long long time.  I bet you’re thinking this time she’s gone cheeky as in tongue in chic! But it’s true, a shirt cardboard is one of the most versatile household items I know, and everyone should have some because you can use a shirt cardboard to:

1. Use as a guide to cut wrapping paper in a straight line with a razor
2. Use it as a dustpan when you sweep the floor
3. Put one or two pieces in the bottom of your acrylic sink to protect it when you are scrubbing pots and pans
4. It can be an edger to when you are painting woodwork
5. You can make a box out of one or two, to encase a soft item before you gift wrap it
6. Scoop up cat vomit with a paper towel and a shirt cardboard
7. Insert into an envelope to stiffen it when mailing a magazine
8. It can become the backing in photo or picture frame
9. Better than paper for your grandchild to draw on
10. Cut into whatever shape you need to trace (ie hearts, pumpkins, stars)
11. Perfect handy flexible ruler
12. Tape several together and let your kids draw roads and houses where they can play with their toy cars
13. Wrap Christmas garland and tree lights around a piece to prevent tangling
14. And  a easy to grab for cutting board – Not for food but everything else
    

And if you are of a certain age it makes a large handy fan for those moments.

I got many Easter eggs, which I have eaten except for one which is a Chocolate Chick with buttons inside, so its really heavy! It’s refreshing to have an Easter treat that isn’t hollow.

All I have been doing at the moment is working, gyming or revising. I would just like to publish this fact, that I have lost 10cm off my tummy in the last month, and so now everyone knows and can congratulate me. Thanks. I’m fab.

My revision is shit. I have a Spanish oral on Friday, and my mind is filled with exciting sentences and paragraphs about my opinion on Latinamerican films, celebrities and lesbians. Its THRILLING, and then I have another oral in 3 weeks about the Spanish civil war and a play by a Spaniard. If you see me before then, please do ask me about the bombing of Guernica or symbolism in Lorca’s work. It would help.

A key event in my recent life occured on Wednesday. There I was, perched on my bed and watching my hedgehog, Flower, snuffling around the room, when I realised she was headed towards her favourite corner, where I can’t get her out of. I leapt to her rescue! Over there I hurried, crouched on the floor, and tried to pick her up with my slipper sock to protect me, and I tried to roll her away. Just then, I rolled her into a mysterious object next to her, black and fluffy. It is not unusual to find unnameable objects in my room, so at first I didn’t really notice anything. Then I saw the feathers, screamed, abandoned Flower and ran back over to my bed. A HORRIBLE BIRD WAS DEAD ON MY FLOOR! We have cats, and I have no problem when they bring in alive animals. In fact, I like to consider myself some kind of animal whisperer when I help them to safety. We definitely have some kind of Pocahontasy connection. But I really don’t like dead birds, and it was black, so I was certain it was a death omen.

So, having phoned everyone I could think of, as everyone coinsidently happened to be away that day, I decided to phone my friend Alice, who’s boyfriend lived nearby. However, that brave and noble bud of mine came all the way over herself, and together we managed to dispose of the deadly fiend, using a poster tube and a dustpan. A proud moment for both of us. Cheers Alpal.

Now, I am very excited because we are having avocado, bacon and poached egg salad, and it comes from a Waitrose recipe book so it must be good.

x

“A dust pan and brush which swallows dust in its “bin like” belly and not scatter it all over again after cleaning up and passing from one room to the next. It can find it’s comfort where needed, beside a desk, in the kitchen or hanging on the balcony, but not being the ugly ducking that wants to be locked away in the broom cupboard. The shape is planned and constructed to be realized in sheet metal and wood as well as in a plastic version.”

Being work has slowed, we have the time to get to some much needed cleaning and painting to get the studio back into shape. Here are a few that I found interesting.

●  Dust from the top down.  When the dust falls, it wont dirty anything you’ve  already cleaned.

●  Apply stain remover from the edge to the center to avoid spreading the stain.

●  Work in a circular motion when using abrasive cleansers so any scratches are made less visible.

●  Spray cleaning fluid into a cloth or paper towel, then wipe onto the surface, especially when cleaning mirrors or windows with metal frames.

●  If you have to move furniture out of the way to clean around it, slip a towel under each leg to help slide it.

QUICK FIX

●  Tiny hole in a white wall?  Fill it with a dab of non-gel toothpaste or paper correction fluid.

●  Lightly spritz the dustpan with water before you sweep debris in, so dust won’t drift right back out,

●  To find lost small or hard-to-see objects dropped on the carpet, slip an old nylon stocking over the end of the vacuum hose and hold it in place with a rubber band.  The suction will pick up the missing item, but the stocking will prevent it from going into the vacuum.

CLEANING SMARTS

●  Keep everything together.  Gather all your cleaning equipment before you start and load it in a tray, an apron or a bucket.  You’ll save time searching fro supplies.

●  If it’s not dirty, don’t clean it.  don’t scrub the whole over if only the glass door has grease marks.  Spot-clean whenever possible.

●  Let the cleaning solution do the work.  Pretreat tough spots and let them soak:  It saves you elbow grease.

●  Use only as much cleaning product as you need.  Otherwise you’ll just waste time mopping up the excess. 

CREATE A MOOD

●  Light a scented candle for a few minutes, or spritz the place with your favorite room deodorizer.  Use lemon-or pin-scented cleaner when you dust so the room will have that just-cleaned smell.

●  Put a couple of dryer sheets or scented soap bars in the bottom of trouble spots like trash cans.

●  As a last resort, turn the lights down low and pull back the curtains slightly.  Everything looks better in mood lighting.  – Janet Sobesky

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