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Herinnering! Reminder!

Tayyibe — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 19:41:22 +0000

Dit moet van mijn hart. Ik wil niet teveel klagen, dat is te negatief en dus niet gezond, maar ik denk dat het belangrijk is dat ik dit toch even neerpen. Misschien kunnen anderen er iets aan hebben, maar het is zeker en vast iets dat ik moet leren onthouden. Als je chronische vermoeidheidsklachten hebt, gewrichtsproblemen of spierpijnen moet je heel voorzichtig zijn in wat je doet en laat. En dat is niet altijd evident:

Slechte ervaring:
Donderdag heb ik de garagepoort afgeschuurd en ingeolied. Het was mooi weer, ik was actief, in de buitenlucht, ik had contact met de buren, ik voelde me fantastisch. Ik werkte een goed uurtje aan het schuren, ik rustte een beetje, en dan nog een uurtje inoliën. Alles op het gemak. Ik moest ’s avonds niet meer koken, daar had ik aan gedacht. Ik had het onder controle, dacht ik. Mis dus: ik heb nog drie dagen mogen boeten met spierpijn in armen en benen. En het was nog maar de eerste laag Je voelt het meestal pas als het te laat is, he. Maar niks meer doen is ook niet goed, dan ga je pas heel snel achteruit. Dus ik moet steeds balanceren en de juiste weg vinden tussen te veel en te weinig. En dat is heel moeilijk omdat ik precies ook betere en mindere perioden heb. Mijn conditie hangt ook van veel factoren af: heb ik goed geslapen, wat heb ik gisteren gedaan. Je kan dat onmogelijk bijhouden.
Goede ervaring:
Ik heb deze voormiddag gestreken en ik ben na een half uur gestopt. Ik had nog energie over en voelde maar een beetje last, maar ik was voorzichtig. Ik kreeg nog bezoek op de koffie en ging ’s avonds verse frieten bakken voor mijn schatje. Dus ik spaarde me. We zijn nu avond en het bezoek was gezellig en de frieten lekker. En ik voel me goed, moe, maar goed! Oef, dit zijn dus momenten waaruit ik moet leren! Vaker strijken, maar korter!

I have to say it! I don’t want to complain too much, that is too negative, and not healthy at all, but I do think it is important that I am writing this down. Maybe others can learn, but it is definitely something for me to learn to remember. If you have chronicle pains, tiredness, joint problems you have to be really careful in what you do and don’t do. And that is not always easy:

Bad experience:
Thursday I sanded and oiled our garage door. The weather was beautiful, I was energetic, had contact with my new neighbours, I felt great!

Turkey Day Update

thedailyhavis — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 18:15:03 +0000

Just a few linkys that have to do with yesterday’s post, “Turkey Day and EDs.”

More SPAC Deal & Warrant News (EDS, TGY, NSAQ, CAEL)

247wallst — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 14:07:01 +0000

We have been given some exclusive coverage on the recent developments in special purpose acquisition companies and blank check companies from SPACupdate.com this morning.

Exceed Co. (NASDAQ: EDS), the Chinese apparel maker brought public through 2020 ChinaCap Acquiro, announced that it will accept warrants in exchange for shares on a 3.96:1 basis. The deal offers warrant holders a quick, guaranteed option into the company’s shares and to Exceed execs, to them it offers a quick chance to curb dilution. The offer begins Nov. 30, and will continue for 20 business days after; at the end of the offer, Exceed warrants’ old rules revert back into place.

Next week’s deal has Tremisis Energy Acquisition II (AMEX: TGY) looking to bring public Asiana IDT, a Korean information technology firm, on Dec. 1. The SPAC is one of two that were redirected by Sang Chul-Kim when the Korean businessman assumed control; North Shore Acquisition (OTC: NSAQ) is his other buyout vehicle. That SPAC has until Dec. 5 to complete its merger, although it aims to extend that until March 2010.

Camden Learning (OTC: CAEL) completed its deal to buy National American University, an online college operator. The SPAC’s success came on an $8 million forward contract with an unnamed investor; it looks as if there is another player in the blank check market looking to fill Victory Park Capital Advisors’ shoes.

For more on these mergers and other deal votes, please visit www.SPACupdate.com.

Turkey Day and EDs

thedailyhavis — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 18:06:16 +0000

It’s that time of the year again. If you have any kind of ED - and no, I don’t mean erec

EDS Motorsport + Regal Autosport Z20LEx Inlet manifold

regalautosport — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:20:41 +0000

Exciting news of a new product that we just couldn’t wait to bring to you!

Building on our already successful relation with master German tuners EDS Motorsport we have produced a cast inlet manifold for the Z20 series of engines, utilising stock throttle body placement and a revised top-hat to match.

After a number of beta test prototypes, here is a sneak peak at the final design:

Pricing will be:
£499+ vat for the manifold
£68.70+ vat for the top hat
£550+ vat for the two when bought together!

Further details will be announced by EDS at the Essen Motorshow on the 28th of November.

The first production versions should be landing in time for Christmas. We are taking deposits on the first batch of 25 already. Call 02380 558636 to reserve yours!

Oh yeah, Kate Moss is pro-ana.

thedailyhavis — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 17:21:53 +0000

It’s so impressive that the MSM was, like, a thousand years behind my coverage of Kate Moss

Bulimia, love, hate, medication and happiness

stopmyeds — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 04:45:38 +0000

I had a bunch of slip ups in the last 5 days. Friday and Saturday I had major binge and purge sessions… making me feel like crap and miserable and I do not for the sake of my body health and well being know why. Those were major ones, cooking lots of “FORBIDDEN” food and being miserable emotionally and all that… then again Tuesday night… another slip up. Again, I do not understand why, how or anything that could explain it really. I remember thinking about D. a lot. He is there 24/7. I again wished he would not exist. Not in my life at least. I love him so extremely much. And ye more I do not get to see or talk to him ye more I think about him. It is sad, and it is painful. I wished I knew how he was doing, what he was doing, or with him he was happy.
Also, my thoughts keep circling around his stupid anorexic friend… She told me that she and him were seeing each other. I cannot stand the thought, because she is so crazy, and unattractive and I just do not understand why he would rather have sex with her than with me and that is what it is all about. Sexual satisfaction. I do not want more from him than sex. I just want to enjoy myself and I want to please him. I can please M. which has not been a problem but D. has been the only one I could have sex with that I personally enjoyed. I wished I could have one more night with him. One more. No more than that. One more. I miss him so much.
And yes, I do not only miss the fulfilling sexual moments. I miss hiss eyes and his voice. How can I forget? How? I cannot. I tried drinking alcohol excessively…. but alcohol is just a friend for a second a minute or two or a night at the longest. I need permanent relief. I need hope that life without him can succeed… I need to be loved the way I love. But then again I feel like loving someone more than you could ever be loved is better than the opposite. I have no idea. I am stuck in an internal struggle to find myself and I wished I had, so that I could speak clearly to those who seem to not know a thing….

anyways….

Bulimia… sucks… still… and I wished she was finally gone, but she is hitting back harder than usually. After every slip up I am so exhausted that I feel like I fall asleep without the chance of ever waking up again. It is in fact extremely scary…. I see the lights in my life fading and I feel the motivation to basically slip away. Life is difficult and hard and unfair and yet I feel like I will make it but I need so much strength to do so that I wonder if it is really worth it. I could just get married, have kids and be happy, but I guess my inner voice tells me to go for more.
It’s not a problem at all to call C. and get married and live in Ohio and “just be”… but I want true love.
And yes, I know I alredy found my perfect match and yes, I know he is rejecting me, so.. of course, this does not help…

My conclusion is:

Bulimia and Love are evil partners, like sisters… bad, bad, bad.

Both of them believe in hate…

Bulimia hates me as a person…. physically. I am fat, ugly, I cannot discipline myslef, I am just wrong… I eat too much and throw it up while others starve or I decide not to eat while I have the choice between anything…

Love hates me as a lover, because I am passionate, I am submissive but assertive in my own special way, I am sexual and I love to open my heart to someone who seems to me like he deserves to know my soul…
but I am always wrong and punish myself with a lot of shameful pain…

Disaster… bulimia and love… and hate, too.. I hate people I love because they reject me, but at the same time I understand that they need to have their own opinion and life and ahhhhhhh…. why….

yup… why is why I got meds… to calm me down to tell me I am not crazy although I am. I am extremely tired of life and crazy and wished I could just write a book, kill myself and die slowly while seeing people around me just go theri way. No one would care, so why do I car?

Yes, I need a higher dose.
Good night, happiness is far…
ahead.

Application underway

monsieurswanson — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 02:25:41 +0000

April 2010 marks my matriculation into the program for the PhD in Curriculum and Instruction at Capella University. Yikes! Four classes with a simultaneous internship, followed by comprehensive exams, and then the dissertation finishes it off. Probably 18 months will get it all done. Whew.

Mom, quit being a bitch

thedailyhavis — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 00:53:53 +0000

My mom is busily trying to crack me and get me to add her on Facebook. I didn’t take her two-y

Jurnal #63

michelle — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 05:05:29 +0000

I need not sell my soul to buy bliss.

Seperti minggu lalu memutuskan untuk tidak datang, untuk quit. Tapi entahlah apa yang akan terjadi sebentar lagi. Sepertinya bukan aku yang memutuskan jalan hidupku. Sepertinya kaki dan tangan ini bergerak sendiri tanpa diperintah. Sial.

#Hari Kedua: Oke, novelnya membeku di dalam freezer. Sial again!

Updated:

Hujan lebat sekali pukul 2 siang ini, aku tak tahu apa yang sedang mereka lakukan di Balairung. Sepertinya akan indah kalau aku berkumpul bersama mereka di sana, berdebat seperti minggu-minggu sebelumnya, berlatih lebih keras. Hmmm. Pengen nangis

"Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels."

thedailyhavis — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 23:45:15 +0000

I have mixed feelings about Kate Moss coming out and saying that one of the phrases to inspire her c

Corsa VXR Upgrade Inlet Camshaft

regalautosport — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 17:43:29 +0000

It’s always great to get before and after dyno graphs to really show the advantages of specific components.

This Corsa VXR was dyno’d on the Sunday evening dyno session we had here at Regal.

The following day the very same car was brought back to us for a few further upgrades.

Upgrade fuel pump, adjustable pressure regulator and st1 upgrade inlet camshaft.

The visual differences are staggering:

Not only has peak power increased by 10bhp and peak torque by 17ftlbs you can physically see how the larger lift of the St1 Camshaft loses no power and low revs (a common fear when people refer to fitting cams in general) and increases the power and torque through the rev range, smoothly pulling to the peak and holding a consistent, sizable increase to the redline!

Priced £245 for the part (plus fitting) the camshaft is a very worthwhile upgrade for all Corsa VXRs.

To order this, or the fuelling upgrades also mentioned, please call 02380 558636.

EDS Alert Newsletter No. 35

edsalert — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 01:55:41 +0000

• Forum Posts
• Forum: Ehlers Danlos? – CrossFit Discussion Board
• Forum: Facebook | Chicago EDS Group Meet-up
• Forum: Facebook | How has your EDS progressed?
• Forum: Facebook | Impossible to walk on crutches
• Forum: Facebook | Medic alert bracelet
• Forum: Facebook | Medical Bills and Co-pays
• Forum: Facebook | Ring splints
• Forum: Facebook | Snap, Crackle and Pop?
• Forum: Facebook | Vascular EDS
• Forum: My Dissapointing Rheumy Visit
• Forum: My fiance doesn’t understand, or at least I feel he doesn’t
• Forum: New Publication – October 2009

Please feel free to start promoting the EDS Alert Newsletter where ever you think it might help. Note for readers who use RSS feeds – the link to set up your own feed is here.

This is our quarterly round-up of information about Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS). For more information about this newsletter, please look here for Sources of Medical Info and Support Groups.

We only link to publicly accessible entries and websites. If you would like your post removed from this newsletter please drop a comment below or e-mail us at: edsalert@gmail.com. Please remember when you’re visiting people’s personal blogs or diaries that these often contain information of a personal and sensitive nature and to respect their privacy and concerns. We only quote excerpts from articles that require subscriptions or paid memberships to access.

Medical: EDS Type 3 vs Hypermobility

edsalert — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 00:20:47 +0000

A new EDS related article was submitted to the American Journal of Medical Genetics. It argues that the clinical distinctions between Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome Type 3 (Hypermobile) and Benign Joint Hypermobility Syndrome (BJHS) should be put aside in favor of offering more timely and focused treatment to both conditions given the overlapping features/symptoms:

“It is our collective opinion that BJHS/HMS and EDS hypermobility type represent the same phenotypic group of patients that can be differentiated from other HCTDs but not distinguished from each other. Clinically, we serve this population better by uniting the two diagnostic labels. With this approach, we can strive to better define the phenotype and improve measurable outcomes of this patient population. Furthermore, we recognize that it is important that, in those hypermobility patients who develop potentially debilitating symptoms of chronic fatigue or polyarthralgia, whatever the underlying cause, there should be prompt and appropriate intervention [Keer and Grahame, [2003]].”
The article can be read here (with subscription):

Anorexia, without the 'm'

thedailyhavis — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 23:47:53 +0000

And when you’re done being reductive about mental illness in women, you just move on over to t

Jurnal #50

michelle — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 13:21:56 +0000

I don’t know why my uncle and my auntee should be that panic on the phone. Their voices are really a nightmare. Do they really care to me? I’m not sure, they just talked with me on the phone for about five minutes. Then that’s all. I don’t know why they could easily break my night only by that silly phone call.

Anyway, latihan debat tadi lumayan juga. Tumben (?) ngga ada self assessment dari senior. Eye contact sudah bagus, time management-nya juga sudah bagus, yang jelek mungkin masih manner-nya waktu bilang ‘No, thank you’ di beberapa sanggahan. Katanya, harusnya pasang tampang seram saja untuk kasus-kasus begitu. Lalu masih ada beberapa masalah waktu nge-rebutt, harusnya langsung ke poin, I wasted my forty seconds for repeating arguments of the 2nd speaker of opposite. But it’s ok.

Waktu prepare debat, accidentally (… coincidentally) kita disuruh pakai aturan BP (ga tau juga apa kepanjangannya, orang-orang pada bilang BP-BP-BP terus) di mana ada 2 opening governments, 2 opening opposites, 2 closing governments, dan 2 closing opposites. Sistem ini menarik juga setelah sebelumnya mendapati suguhan video final debat Oxford. Cewek-ceweknya pada debat pakai dress, hahaha, funny. Dan logatnya itu… logat British tulen! Jiah. Funny abis nontoninnya tadi, seperti nonton Hermione Granger debat. Cowok-cowoknya juga sama, tapi ada juga yang cuma pakai kemeja tanpa jas. Hmm. But they still looked so cool. Iyalah, bikin mangap-mangap gitu nonton debat mereka. Kencang, ngebut, bahasa Inggris pulak -____-

Sekelompok sama Grey bikin semangat untuk bertahan di EDS. Gayanya santai, poin-poin catatan debatnya di buku besarnya juga mudah dimengerti. Aku ngga tahu, sepertinya ada banyak hal yang membuatku untuk terus bertahan jadi anggota EDS. Sejak kali pertama enrolled test 3 September lalu. Jadi ingat Sandy yang waktu itu menyemangati: “Semua yang jadi anggota EDS juga meski yang sudah pernah ikut debat-debat nasional pun mesti dianggap newbie. Kita semua memiliki starting point yang sama. Jangan nyerah.” Inget banget waktu itu. Tapi ke mana, ya, si Sandy? Kok, ngga pernah datang lagi ke acara-acaranya EDS? Namanya juga ngga ada di daftar newbie? Hmmm…. Dia jurusan apa, ya?

Lalu setelah dua minggu berturut-turut ngga menghadiri weekly practice di Sayap Utara Balairung, sudah berniat declare stance untuk quit dari EDS, dengan tiba-tibanya Mbak Tanti, salah seorang senior di EDS, menyapa di blog (feel so ashamed for it)… lalu entah kenapa jadi satu tim makrab sama beberapa anak EDS yang satu fakultas… dan entah kenapa malam itu terbersit niat untuk datang ke acara TC (Training Camp) EDS members di Gunung Kaliurang setelah lihat profil facebook Kak Astri yang satu tanggal lahir… 13 Agustus.

Entahlah, karena hal-hal silly itu akhirnya aku memutuskan untuk bergabung di EDS. Tapi sampai sekarang masih bisa bertahan karena improvement skill debatku ternyata cukup menjanjikan (I’m happy for it). Katanya latihan debat ini bagus untuk critical thinking, membuat para debaters jadi lebih open minded, dan pikirannya lebih well organized… Tapi di beberapa kasus, aku lihat para debaters banyak yang arogan, berpikir kalau hanya tim mereka saja yang benar. Dalam banyak kasus, tiap hal bahkan seperti layak untuk diperdebatkan. Seperti misalnya kenapa aku menggunakan mouse untuk menggunakan laptop sedangkan sudah ada pad di laptop untuk pengganti mouse. Bisa jadi, kalau aku tetap menerapkan ‘debaters minded’ ini di keseharian, aku bisa mengajak tiap orang yang chatting Yahoo! Messenger denganku kesal karena tabiatku yang selalu ngajak mereka berphilosophy/judgement debate.

Oh ya, pagi tadi aku men-download banyak sekali ebooks dari Nietzsche, Carl Gustav Jung, dan C.S. Lewis (for Narnia’s, of course). DVD pertandingan debat masih tertahan di Mbak Tanti karena katanya dia mau ke Jepang buat seminggu (oleh-oleh! myehehe), dan… tadi pagi chatting lagi dengan si R. Kenapa masih happy tiap dia nyapa, ya? Hmmmmmm.

Ah, sudahlah, curhatku sudah kepanjangan. Lagipula aku masih punya banyak kegiatan malam ini.

See yaa, Gia. (:

Updated: Oh, memalukan! Setelah tadi search di Google untuk pajang image debat di post ini, pasang kata kunci ‘Parliamentary Debate’, ngga nemu yang bagus, lalu ‘British Debate’, tetap ngga ada yang bagus.. Lalu tiba-tiba di kepala terpikir… HAH! Jadi arti dari singkatan BP itu mungkin simpel aja.. British Parliamentary. HAHAHA. Silly me.

it is Identity?

stopmyeds — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 05:48:23 +0000

I am not sure, but probably I do know what this is all about and yes, I have talked about this before in early early posts, but… yes, I feel like this stupid ED is just all about IDENTITY. It is sad, because in your youth and in your development you should find yourself… but maybe some people are having a hard time to do so in today’s society… I read a lot of philosophy lately and I love to think about philosophy a lot… I feel like today’s society is trying to forbid us to really be philosophical. I feel that way because I have the feeling that being philosophical is so difficult. It is not approving the approved way of thinking … and I feel like I need to continue in German…
Ich habe durchaus das Gefuehl, dass Philosophie zu problematisch ist. Wer will wirklich die Fragen der Menschheit beantworten? Niemand. Weil es niemand kann, und wenn, dann ist es ein Genie. Ein wahrer Genie. Die Welt und die Gesellschaft sind schlichtweg schlecht. Ohne die Gesellschaft – wie sie heute ist – wuerde es mir besser gehen (ohne Drogen – und ja, Anti-Depressiva sind Drogen. Sie sind so unheimlich stark. Sie wirken: deshalb sind sie stark). Also, es ist tasaechlich so, dass ich glaube, dass das Leben einen Sinn haben sollte… es tut so weh zu wissen, dass ich lebe und ich ueber all das bewusst bin, was ich tue, aber manchmal auch nicht, und ich will es aber sein, und ich will wissen wer ich bin, und es ist so schwer mich selber zu begreifen. Ich will nicht hier sein ohne Grund und ich will eine Aufgabe haben und ich will anderen Menschen helfen: sie positiv beeinflussen und das Leben an sich bereichern. Und gleichzeitig fuehle ich mich wie ein grosser Fehler im System. Ich will nicht, dass andere denken ich sei dumm… und es ist die Gesellschaft vor der ich mich fuerchte. Ich hasse die Gesellschaft. Ich mag meine Freunde moegen, aber ich weiss genau welcher Teil von ihnen der Gesellschaft folgt und das macht mich traurig.
die Gesellschaft ist schlecht.
Ich will hier aufhoeren, weil ich ein paar Bier getrunken habe, aber dennoch will ich sagen, dass ich das Leben liebe. Es ist schwer, es ist eine Herausforderung und es ist einmalig. Ich durchlebe so viele schwere Momene… dennoch tut es mir gut zu wissen, dass ich lebe.

End fat talk

stopmyeds — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 15:57:28 +0000

End fat takllk week was in October apparently, but I just came across this today.
I feel like sharing. It’s a good video and I think end fat talk week should be all year around.

Enjoy the video.

Oh, and to all of you struggling: I know how hard it is to even end this stupid fat talk towards our own. I do it each and every day and I try hard to get rid of this self-destruction. It is just not that easy, but we all need to remember that we are not alone.
This is why i also want to say thank you, to all who have shown support on here and I am positive, that we can all get through this and become healthy inside and out. we just need to find and learn to rely, accept and love ourselves. As hard as it sounds, I think that is the only thing that can heal us and it asks for a lot of work. We can win this.

Chins up, girls!

Jurnal #48

michelle — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 11:53:42 +0000

“The only thing that will stop you from fulfilling your dreams is you.”

Tom Bradley quotes

Dari pagi sampai sore ini, kepalaku sakit, mataku kabur, dan hidungku tersumbat+pilek. Padahal hari ini cukup kreatif dan santai. Di kelas Indonesia, baca ulang Supernova dan ngga dengerin dosen ngomong apa-apa tapi dosennya ngga marah, biasa. Di kelas Writing, kita diajak menonton Freedom Writers, cukup memantik inspirasi. Di kelas Prancis, cuma diperintah membuat dialog berbahasa Prancis. Sudah, segitu saja. Tapi rasanya lelah banget. Pengennya tidur terus. Masih kepikiran kalimat dari dia: kau terlalu seenaknya menilai orang. dan kalimat balasanku: maaf. aku hanya bercanda. Sialan apa, ya. Masa’ waktu aku baca Supernova Kisah Ksatria, Putri, dan Bintang Jatuh… waktu baca karakter si Ksatria, aku justru memikirkan dia. -___-

Sudah, lupakan. Aku bertekad untuk melupakan bahwa aku pernah begitu mengagumi dia dengan tanpa alasan.

Oh ya, tadi pagi aku mulai mengedit ulang blogku yang lain di mesin WordPress. Kaget karena ada 86-an virus tertampung di Akismet dan beberapa komentar datang ke blog itu. Hm. Mungkin aku memang mesti meng-expand blog itu seperti tujuan awalku untuk membagi esai-esaiku. Tapi aku mungkin masih terlalu malas? Kayaknya tidak ada satupun hal yang belakangan ini terselesaikan.

… ada lomba debat berbahasa Indonesia di UI. Ngga tahu mau ikut atau ngga. Motion untuk besok saja rasanya masih mengawang-awang. THBT the future olympic games should include more Asian Origin Sports. Besok pagi juga ada Personal Training EDS dari Mbak Tanti. Pasti, deh, kewalahan lagi dalam beberapa menit harus berpikir kritis dan bikin Background, Burden of Proof dan parameternya, Definisi, Room of Debate dan stance, Disclaimer, Team Split, sama Argumen. Rasanya mau muntah.

Argh! Masih kepikiran dia! >_<

Masih merasa bersalah. Sudahlah, kayaknya aku butuh tidur cepat malam ini. Aku ngga mau begadang lagi seperti kemarin-kemarin. Sial!

Updated:

Downloaded Ebooks [today, November 5th] :

speaking–listening-and-understanding–debate-for-non-native-english-speakers
using-deliberative-techniques-in-the-english-as-a-foreign-language-classroom
shapers-of-the-great-debate-on-conservation–a-biographical-dictionary–shapers-of-the-great-american-debates
the-debatabase-book–a-must-have-guide-for-successful-debate–idea–international-debate-education-association
reparations–pro-and-con
practical-argumentation
the-great-brain-debate–nature-or-nuture—science-essentials
intelligent-design-creationism-and-its-critics–philosophical–theological–and-scientific-perspectives
the-debater–039-s-guide–revised-edition

See? Tentang debat semua, ya? Kayaknya diriku sudah mulai freak pengen bisa ‘kelihatan’ di kancah persilatan debat. TERUS, kapan belajar buat SNMPTN-nya??!

Re-read Books [today, November 5th]:

Supernova #1
Supernova #2

New to Read [today, November 5th]

The History of Love

To write [today, November 5th]

Cinta Segitiga Bermuda re-entitled as Sedalam Rahasia Laut
a Chicklit (need ideas!)

To note [today, November 5th]

MANY THINGS. GODAMNIT.

If the Data Center Is the Computer the Fight Is on to Control the Ecosystem

Stacey Higginbotham — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 23:18:43 +0000

Liquid Computing, a startup going head-to-head with giants, today launched its own version of unified computing gear that stands in almost direct contrast to the announcements made yesterday by Cisco, EMC and VMware about Vblocks and the new Acadia services arm. Also today, HP laid out its vision and new software for a converged computing infrastructure, the heir to its adaptive infrastructure products of the last four years. These two announcements are the latest in a web of partnerships that are taking place in the data center infrastructure space as folks try to combine computer, storage and networking into some kind of monolithic compute fabric (GigaOM Pro subscription required). The end result of such efforts will be to make the data center function like a giant computer, and the fight is on to provide the component parts plus the OS.

Liquid unveiled its Liquid Elements software that will work with Intel-based servers and NetApp storage gear. The software and Liquid’s switch can be combined to deliver the same sort of unified fabric computing that Cisco has been selling. Liquid differs from the Vblocks on offer through Cisco/EMC/VMware in that the software can run on any Intel-based server, either virtualized or in a bare metal implementation, said Vikram Desai, CEO of Liquid Computing. Cisco’s servers use Intel chips, but they are all about running virtual machines.

HP’s announcements focus on its version of the data center OS that it calls the Infrastructure Operating Environment, its FlexFabric Virtual I/O, and what it calls Virtual Resource Pools, which is a not-that-fancy-way of saying virtualized clusters of server and storage hardware based on existing storage gear and operating systems. There’s also a piece that optimizes data center operations.

However, on the server side, HP has a big limitation right now in that its Flex Fabric virtual I/O software only works with HP’s blade servers. So to really get the benefits of a converged network fabric, you’re gonna have to have HP blade for now. Doug Oathout, VP of Green IT at HP, says the company plans to make Flex Fabric work on other hardware, but offered no time line.

What’s in Store for Storage

That’s the server+networking side, so what’s happening in storage? HP’s Virtual resource pools are pretty compelling in that they can work with any hypervisor and can accommodate applications that are running on bare metal servers without virtualization and a variety of storage gear. HP today also announced its HP X9000 boxes which contain software from its IBRIX acquisition. They offer enterprises the ability to create up to 16 petabytes of virtualized storage. It’s like having the ability to open a door in any room in your home and find an empty walk-in closet when needed.

On the storage side, Cisco’s servers can see it, but they can’t control or talk to the storage infrastructure. That’s why it needs EMC and VMware working with it to make a truly unified platform. Liquid Element can talk to any Ethernet-based storage gear, although it works best with storage from NetApp.

When it comes to services, HP will help you figure out how to build out this converged infrastructure and Liquid will rely on selling though channels. The creation of Acadia may signal that Cisco was having a hard time selling its equipment into organizations through a channel that couldn’t figure out how to make its gear work, Liquid’s Desai pointed out. It also may show how deals whereby large IT vendors have snapped up systems integrators (Dell buying Perot Systems or HP buying EDS) have forced Cisco to offer its own services arm in order to push its gear where those others may not.

As cloud computing and delivering IT on demand get taken over by the larger vendors, and are made palatable for enterprise customers, companies from small to large are cobbling together their vision for this highly virtualized data center infrastructure that basically acts and thinks like one big computer. Given how different the products are when it comes to openness and working with other equipment, it looks like we’re heading for a Mac vs. PC fight in the data center.

Een stukje van mezelf kwijt - A piece of myself missing

Tayyibe — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 15:55:02 +0000

Ik voelde me zo schuldig toen ik een paar van mijn poppen uit de kast haalde. Zie je, ik had zoveel poppen, ik moest er wel een paar opbergen. Mijn bed was niet groot genoeg. Ik herinner me dat ik zo triest werd, toen ik de kast opende. Ik besefte namelijk dat ik hen, de poppen, vergeten was voor een aantal dagen lang. Wat had ik hen aangedaan? Ze moeten zo bang geweest zijn in het donker, misschien dachten ze wel dat ik ze daar voor altijd zou achterlaten. Hoe kon ik??? Ik was natuurlijk nog klein, 5 of 6 jaar? Ik weet het niet precies meer. Wel herinner ik me het schuldgevoel. Een andere hartverscheurende herinnering is de pijn in mijn hart, die ik voelde toen een van mijn broers zijn karate- of boksbewegingen uitoefende op mijn poppen. Dit bewijst mijn liefde voor mijn poppen. Ik heb ze nog steeds, mijn oude poppen. Ze zitten nu wel bovenop de kast

Ik heb ergens gelezen dat je je carrierekeuze zou moeten baseren op de spelletjes die je vroeger speelde. Denk aan je vroegste herinneringen. Wat is het eerste speelgoed of spelletje waaraan je denkt? Kan je het in verband brengen met een of ander beroep? Dat is dan waarschijnlijk de beste job die zou kunnen doen, maakt niet uit wat je studies zijn of wat je hobbies waren uit je tienerjaren. Het zijn de vroege herinneringen die tellen.
Bv. je speelde met een keukentje? Dan moet je chef zijn.
Of had je de beste herinneringen van het spelen met je hond? Dan moet je dierenarts zijn, of gaan werken in een asiel.
Ik geloof hier echt in. Wat ons gelukkig maakte als kind, kan ons vast en zeker nog steeds gelukkig maken. Onze persoonlijkheid als kind was puur, nog niet beïnvloed door slechte ervaringen, die ons onzeker maken, of door rationeel denken, bv. over financiële zekerheid.
Onze vroegste persoonlijkheid is onze ware natuur.

Als een vrouw kan je vele dingen zijn: een dochter, een echtgenote, een zus, een vriendin, een dokter, een patiënte, een leerkrachte, een buschauffeur, …, een moeder.
Ik wil zo graag een moeder zijn, boven alles, al sinds een lange tijd, maar meer dan ooit.
Ik weet niet als ik het ooit zal zijn.
Ik weet niet als zij me ooit laten.
Ik weet zelfs niet als ik het mezelf zal toelaten.

Ik heb mezelf al verboden jaren geleden om ooit zwanger te worden, vanwege het hoge risico tijdens de zwangerschap, maar zeker tijdens de bevalling, door mijn vriend EDS. Dat was de moeilijkste beslissing die ik ooit heb gemaakt. Mijn man heeft me ook verder gesteund in die beslissing, toen ik hem die uitlegde in het begin van onze relatie.

Ondertussen zijn we geselecteerd als pleegouders, wat ik altijd al wilde doen, maar alleen voor één kindje tegelijk en alleen voor korte periodes. Maar dat is natuurlijk meer een job, dan wel fulltime (letterlijk), dan dat het zorgen is voor je eigen kindje. Natuurlijk wel een job vanuit het hart.

Wat we hopen dat ze ons zullen toelaten, is om een kindje te adopteren. We zijn in augustus 2008 gestart met de procedure, we zullen zien…
Er is nog een lange weg te gaan, veel om te overwegen, om over na te denken, om over te praten…

I felt guilty when I took a couple of my dolls out of the closet. You see, I had so many dolls I had to put some of them away. My bed was not big enough for all of them. I remember I got really sad, opening the closet, realising I totally forgot about them for a few days. What did I put them trough? They must have been so scared in the dark, thinking maybe I had left them in there for ever? What was I thinking??
Of course I was just a little girl, 5 or 6 years old? I don’t know. I only remember the guilty feeling.
Another agonizing memory is the pain in my hart, caused by my brother exercising his karate/boxing moves on one of my dolls.
Proves how much I loved them.
I still have them by the way, my old dolls, sitting on top of the closet this time

I have read one time, you can base your career choise upon the toys or games you played when you were young. Think about your early memories, playing. What is the first toy or game that comes in mind? Can you relate it to any kind of job? That is probably the job you should be doing, no matter what you studied or your hobbies when you were a teenager. It is really the early memories that count.
For example:
You played with an easy bake oven, you have to be a chef.
You had the best memories playing with your dog, a vet, or working in a pet chelter.
I believe it is true, what made us happy as a child, can probably still make us happy. Our personality as a child, was pure, not influenced by bad experiences making us insecure, or by rational thinking, for example financial security. Our earliest personality is our true nature.

As a woman you are many things: a daughter, a sister, a wife, a friend, a teacher or a student, a doctor, a bus driver, …, a mom.
I want to be a mom, more than everything else, since a long time ago, but more than ever.
I don’t know if I will ever be.
I don’t know if they will allow me.
I don’t even know if I will allow myself.

I ‘ve allready forbidden myself years ago to ever get pregnant, because of the high risc during the pregnancy and the delivery, because of my friend EDS. That was the hardest decision I ever made. My husband by the way supported my decision when I explained him in the beginning of our relationship.

In the mean time we are selected to be foster parents, but only allowed to have one child at a time and only for short periods, which I always loved to do. But it is more a fulltime job (literally full time) then having your own child. Of course a job from the hart.

So what we are hoping they will allow us to do, is adopting a child. We started the procedure in august 2008, we will see… There is still a long way to go, lots to concider, think about, talk about…

What is EDS?

Tayyibe — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 15:21:15 +0000

Ehlers Danlos Syndrome is a heterogeneous group of heritable connective tissue disorders, characterized by articular (joint) hypermobility, skin extensibility and tissue fragility.
There are six major types of EDS. The different types of EDS are classified according to their manifestations of signs and symptoms. Each type of EDS is a distinct disorder that “runs true” in a family. This means that an individual with Vascular Type EDS will not have a child with Classical Type EDS. Individuals with EDS have a defect in their connective tissue, the tissue which provides support to many body parts such as the skin, muscles and ligaments. The fragile skin and unstable joints found in EDS are the result of faulty collagen. Collagen is a protein which acts as a “glue” in the body adding strength and elasticity to connective tissue.

EDS (Vascular Type) formerly known as type IV, is generally regarded as the most serious form of EDS due to the possiblility of arterial organ rupture. The skin is usually thin and translucent with veins being seen through the skin. This is most apparent over the chest and abdomen. There are certain facial characteristics present in some affected individuals. These manifestations include large eyes, thin nose, lobeless ears, short stature and thin scalp hair. Also evident is a decrease in subcutaneous tissue, particularly in the face and extremities. Minor trauma can lead to extensive bruising.
Arterial/intestinal/urerine fragility or rupture commonly arise in this type of EDS. Spontaneous arterial rupture has a peak incidence in the third or fourth decade of life, but may occur earlier. Midsized arteries are commonly involved. Arterial rupture is the most common cause of sudden death. Acute diffuse or localized abdominal or flank pain is a common presentation of arterial or intestinal rupture. Life expectancy is shortened with a majority of individuals living only into their forties. Pregnancies may be complicated by intra-partum uterine rupture and pre- and postpartum arterial bleeding.
Joint hypermobility is usually limited to the digits. Tendon and muscle rupture can occur. Talipes equinovarus (clubfoot) is frequently seen at birth. Other manifestations that may be found in the Vascular Type include: acrogeria (premature aging of the skin of the hands and feet); early onset varicose veins; arteriovenous fistula (an opening between an artery and vein), carotid-cavernous fistula, pneumothorax (collapse of a lung) / pneumohemothorax (collapse of a lung with a collection of air or gas and blood); gingival recession and complications during and after surgery (i.e. wound dehiscence).

The Vascular Type of EDS is caused by structural defects in the proal (III) chain of collagen type III encodes by COL3A1. This type of EDS is inherited in an autosomal dominant manner. A skin biopsy can diagnose this type of EDS.
If you would like to know more about EDS, please choose one of the links provided. If you have a question, please ask. I will do my very best to answer the question or direct you to someone who can

Russell Brand to destroy old classic

thedailyhavis — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 22:32:59 +0000

liza, with a 'z'I don’t get the Russell Brand appeal, either here or in the UK. I don

Making History

Steph — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 09:50:31 +0000

Last June, I was admitted to a specialist unit of an NHS hospital for surgery on my head. I was no stranger to the place having had a major operation there two years previously. Revision surgery was now required as further complications had developed. On this occasion, I was under the care of a surgeon who specializes in image-guided endoscopic surgery. I was about to undergo an operation which required high precision and carried a significant risk of accidental damage to critical organs. I was also about to make medical history.

I was admitted to the hospital the day before the operation, to be assessed for the complex surgery which lay ahead. My first port of call was to a photographic studio in the basement of the hospital, to have my head photographed from every angle. This was because of my stunning good looks to record the cosmetic defect in my facial profile, due to previous surgery. Next, it was off to the nuclear medicine department to have my head scanned under the supervision of the surgeon. These scans were subsequently used for navigational purposes throughout the technically demanding surgery.

When all the preparations were complete, it was time for a consultation with the surgeon and his team. It was at this stage I learnt that plans were afoot to record my operation for teaching purposes. My history of multiple sinus surgeries* provided the surgical team with an unusual challenge and the operation now planned, had the potential to become a valuable training resource. I had absolutely no hesitation in granting them permission to make me a ‘film star’ for a day. Anything that helps to lessen the risks associated with complex surgery and ultimately, increases patient safety, is to be encouraged.

*For those with an interest in Otorhinolaryngology…

My ENT surgical history includes : A bilateral antrostomy; a Caldwell Luc procedure; multiple endoscopic nasal surgeries; 5 external frontoethmoidectomies; a Riedel’s procedure and a modified endoscopic Lothrop procedure (Draf 111).

My ENT medical history includes recurrent sinus infections, chronic frontal sinus disease, MRSA infection, orbital cellulitis and osteomyelitis.

I also have an inherited connective tissue disorder called Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS) which has added to the complications over the years.

Well, as you can see, I’ve lived to tell the tale. While the signs are encouraging, it’s still too early to know if the latest operation will prove successful in the long run. After what seems like a lifetime of surgery, I feel I’ve earned a place in medical history.

Any guesses what label I’ll be given?

Jurnal #33

michelle — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 15:42:25 +0000

“Klo jalan fasilkom menuju hukum emang agak angket — apalagi klo lewati hutan2 yg menuju MUI, itu emang rada rawan karena penerangannya yang sedikit.”

Mau nulis tentang pembunuhan di sekitar wilayah UI, deh. Dan konspirasi-konspirasi gitu, errr? Mungkin bisa ada kaitannya sama pembunuhan-pembunuhan massal yang terjadi di berbagai negara. Karena pengaruh aliran-aliran sesat. Kakaka.

Kayaknya otakku fiksi sekali, deh. Tadi pas disuruh buat background buat motion ‘THW penalize parents with overweight children’ sama ’ THBT movie cencorship ruins the whole movie’ saja diriku justru mengarang mengangan-angan saja. Poinnya ya itu… risetku masih kurang, yang selama ini kuandalkan hanya sebatas khayalan-khayalan untuk melengkapi teori-teori yang kurang. Nampaknya diriku harus banyak belajar lagi tentang fakta-fakta dan lebih aware sama news-news.

Anyway, tadi hepi juga ketemu senior yang satu itu, apalagi pas dia bilang: “Kamu yang namanya Michelle, kan? Haii..” Arrrrh, hepi sumpah! Kayaknya selain dengan alasan meningkatkan critical thinking, memiliki senior sebaik dia dan senior-senior lainnya adalah alasan utama untuk gabung di EDS. He’s so sweet! ^_^

Oh ya, barusan saja diriku mengunduh-unduh soal-soal untuk SNMPTN tahun depan. Ketemu banyak. Lumayan juga 30 tahun soal Kimia, Biologi, dan Fisika (meskipun aku juga punya versi buku tebelnya waktu beli di Palasari kemarin), soal-soal matematika dashyat, dan jadwal SIMAK UI. Seram juga… SIMAK UI tetap diadakan awal Maret. Four months from now.

Anyway lagi, barusan ketemu lists koran nasional dan lokal yang bakal jadi target ’serbuan’. Keep fighting, Mich! Kayaknya diriku akan men-search website koran-koran tersebut dan melirik karakter-karakternya dulu. Dan oh ya omong-omong soal tulis menulis, ikutan NANOWRIMO apa bisa mengubah sikap pemalasku menjadi rajin sedikit? Hehehe.

Segitu untuk malam ini. Nampak aku akan segera meracau kalau kulanjutkan lagi. Semangat, semangat!

N.B.: Ah, masih punya hutang iRBI… Writing test, French test, sama Indonesian’s test gampang-gampang ternyata soalnya. Kakaka.