En bra strategi för att få stanna kvar på och få en stark position på sitt jobb kan vara att göra sig oersättlig. Vilken arbetsgivare vill bli av med någon som är central för en god verksamhet? Detsamma kan gälla i relationer. Tror man att man är oersättlig kan det leda till en avslappnad inställning till relationen; tror man att man är ersättlig kan det leda till oro och påverka beteendet. En ny studie, “Becoming Irreplaceable: How Comparisons to the Partner’s Alternatives Differentially Affect Low and High Self-Esteem People”, publicerad i Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, finner stöd för detta:

It is proposed that people are motivated to feel hard to replace in romantic relationships because feeling irreplaceable fosters trust in a partner’s continued responsiveness. By contrast, feeling replaceable motivates compensatory behavior aimed at strengthening the partner’s commitment to the relationship. A correlational study of dating couples and two experiments examined how satiating/thwarting the goal of feeling irreplaceable differentially affects relationship perception and behavior for low and high self-esteem people. The results revealed that satiating the goal of feeling irreplaceable increases trust for people low in self-esteem. In contrast, thwarting the goal of feeling irreplaceable increases compensatory behaviors meant to prove one’s indispensability for people high in self-esteem.

Man kan förstås tänka sig att den som går runt och oroar sig över att ersättas också mer sannolikt, på grund av det, riskerar att dumpas. Vem är intresserad av någon som inte visar tillit och som medvetet försöker framhäva sig själv som viktig och oersättlig? Samtidigt har jag svårt att förstå dem som uppvisar mer eller mindre obetingad tillit till en partner, så till den grad att de i vigselceremonier lovar evig trohet. Något sådant löfte skulle jag aldrig kunna uttala – och det tycks mig som att många som uttalar det gör det på basis av romantiska illusioner (som då förvisso i sig kan te sig attraktiva, då de innefattar att kärleken gör en oersättlig). Är inte den bästa grunden för en relation en stabil men betingad tillit: inte så att man går runt och ängsligt oroar sig och försöker visa sig viktig, men inte heller så att man tror att relationen består för evigt oavsett vad man gör? Då kanske man maximerar sannolikheten för fortsatt relation. Men vad vet jag om romantisk kärlek?

Good Morning to Me! and to You!

I whirl myself up onto the highest plane of pure light love and truth, I invite a sacred connection with my unseen friends of pure light love and truth, I ask to speak directly with my highest self.  and so it is.

Here I am here you are and Here we always have been.  Have you enjoyed all of the insights we have been  into you my dear? Oh we know at times you may feel so bombarded by thoughts that you have come to filter out what you do not know to be reality, but we are sending these thoughts to you to help you recreate your reality. We understand it is the human condition to Need to See feel and touch all that you are affirming, however please remember that what you are seeing feeling and touching in this moment right now and right here is simply what you were thinking and manifesting a while back, come to fruition in this moment. If you are not feeling a distinct connection and resemblance of what you have now to what you are desiring now it simply explain the difference in where you were to where you are energetically. Do you see?

Yes now as you explain this I am remembering. You must understand the difficulty in feeling differently about my current situation while i am still in it.

Yes we do understand – which is why we guided you to begin this process of Active Listening for your own purpose. You see the guidance you give to others can only be fully realized when you give guidance through spirit to yourself as well. You may have a wonderful ability, but if you lock yourself in your own non understanding of your process and distrust in our love and guidance for your own life, how ever will you be able to explain and guide others with your words? You have made your path in this way so that you too can fully experience this reality and see through each persons energetic diagram of their life. You will never place blame or judge another for finding themselves in a life they do not desire. You will simply be able to see through and pin point, as you do, the exact moment they created a thought pattern that became a reality. ‘I do not want this I do not want that.’ This is how we first play with the idea that we want to carve out of our life. We think that if we simply identify it then it will never have control or power over us, ‘I do not wish to spend all of our savings, I do not wish to get sick,’ and so on. however we have now created our point of attraction our point of importance. We have sent out our rocket of non desire – however when it goes out into the world energetically the not wanting falls away – and it is only the desire in its positive that is left. With this knowledge you can shift your reality in a split second.

yes but how do I change someones else path? I feel like I am slowly coming along on my path, however I cannot make my husband get a job simply by declaring it for him, isn’t that right? I mean if I could then it would have happened a long time ago.That is where I get caught up. I am doing my work and loving what I do, I am slowly creating more business relationships and attracting clients who I really enjoy helping and they always come back to me and thank me. I feel like I need to get my name out there more and then the more people who work with me the more they will spread the word. I just don’t know how to attract that without paying  for advertising. I feel a little lost with that.

Your process is coming into fruition with your work, you are holding back in areas my dear. You are judging your outcome with your classes and so never starting them. You declare a desire and then immediately shoot it down energetically.

I feel like I have a lot of ideas but not sure which one to follow, its like you said earlier, I am bombarded by many ideas – I Have to filter ones out otherwise I wont be able to move forward in any direction.

We wish for you to choose one and move forward with it. Your desire to teach parents to guide children into meditation is an important aspect of your path. Delve into this one more and let the others pass for now. gain clarity through research and experiment with your own children – try out all the methods you wish to teach and try them over and over, after tantrums, after illness, after arguments. try it all, do not filter which instances you will try it in. You will see my child, a connection to god, spirit whatever you may choose to call it, when it is created early in life and each person is given the tools and encouraged to use these tools, marvelous things occur.

We wish to close this with you with this saying my child:

“When you do not imagine the reality of what you wish to become, you will not become the reality of what you desire to be. ”

Thank you for guidance this morning, I love you.

Love is always sent our dear one.

Trudelu… jag har samlat så in åt helvete med vuxenpoäng idag.
Jag har nämligen gått på jakt och fann det jag sökte – tvättstugan *wooow*
Jag bokade en tid i morgon kväll, hoppas jag kommer ihåg att gå dit…
Kuriosa: Det här är första gången på två månader som jag ska tvätta. Nu kanske ni tänker “usch vilken äcklig tjej som inte tvättar oftare”. Men jag kan lugna er med att jag istället för att tvätta köper nytt. Nu har jag alldeles för mycket kläder (lortiga) som tar upp halva min lägenhet, med andra ord inser till och med jag att det inte är okej att köpa mer saker… så jag måste tvätta. Om jag mot all förmodan vill köpa nytt så har jag gjort plats för det ändå – jag skickade med P två stora säckar med kläder som jag inte gråter över om de slängs…

Övriga helgen har varit hyfsat lugn.
I fredags skickade vi som sagt årets sista tidning. Direkt efter att vi klickat på skicka-knappen sa jag att jag skulle åka hem och äta chips. Men naturligtvis hamnade jag på vårt stamhak Pub Anchor och fick i mig fem öl innan jag vinglade hem.
Karaktär någon?

Igår var jag på Stadion i fyra timmar och kikade på Winter Jam. Dels finalen i en världscuptävling i snowboard, samt finalen i King Of Style som är big air för skidåkare.
Snowboardfinalen var lite halvkass, 70 procent av alla hopp slutade i kraschlandning och egentligen var det vara två-tre åkare av tio som imponerade.
I King Of Style stod de upp desto fler gånger och det var sjukt bra åkning.
Tummen upp för lördagen!

Idag har jag ägnat mestadelen av dagen åt Guitar Hero 5 som jag rockar i just nu.

Over and out.

Who am I? What is this I that I perceive? The most essential thing in the universe or a pure illusion? Is it as solid as a metal beam or as evanescent as a candle in the wind?

Reflect, Grasshopper. Reflect on yourself, because your self is mere reflection. This shining I is a mere mirror, and even the mirror is not there when you – with your eye, your seeing part, which you may mistake for your I – look for it.

You look in the mirror, and you say, “I see.” And indeed I C spells the source of I: in Old English, I was ic, said sometimes as “eek” and sometimes as “each” – the two sides of the self, one of fear, withdrawing, the other of distribution, sharing, outgoing. It was sometimes after written ich. Make this capital: ICH. In a serif font, the formal way, an I is like a steel beam (an I-beam, in fact), reminiscent of an H on its side. Make it more like an H on its side and you have 工, the Chinese character for gong, “work.” But Chinese for “I” is wo – the self is only half of work, for action is the rest. The character for wo, however, is a slashing pattern of seven strokes, 我, half of which is a spear and the other half of which is said to be a hand, or grain, or another spear: fighting, action.

The self is the ready hand: the letter I began as an arm and hand, Phoenecian yod, which lost first the hand, then the elbow and wrist, and soon became the smallest of letters, a mere stroke, iota, ι, the famed jot of jot and tittle, the small wisp of Hebrew yod, י. You see the strong hand, but when you follow it, it vanishes into smoke, it is the merest small thing.

But I was not I then. In Hebrew, when you speak of yourself, you do not say an I, you say ani. In Greek, like English an Indo-European language, “I” the speaking first person was – is – ego, written in Greek letters εγο; in Latin, it is ego written first EGO (as we ever write our selves in our own minds). These little letters we love, e g o i etc., came about later, as scribes shrank them in brisk writing: the I became a little single stroke, at risk of being taken for one half of an n, one third of an m, so they added a dot, like a finger, a flag… a flame. We are a candle burning down. No, we are not: we are only the flame. We consume the wax, but the matter of the wax passes in other forms into the air; when it is burnt, however, the flame – which was only ever an ongoing reaction, not a discrete object – is gone. Ay, gone.

Ay. This is how we say I. This is not how we always said it. Our long vowels shifted half a millennium ago. Before that, the ich lost the fricative at the end and we said it “ee”: simply the narrowest opening at the tip of the tongue. Tighten the tongue a little more as you say it, and whisper as you do so, and you have German ich. But when “ah” became “ey” and “ey” became “ee” we needed this sound of I to be more distinctive, and so we swooped into it, starting at “ah” and narrowing down, like a hand swinging through the air and pointing at a spot.

In other languages it widens from the spot. In Scandinavian languages, you have jeg – the j a glide, like our y – or similar words. In Slavic languages, you have ja and similar words. In Romance languages, you have Spanish yo, Portuguese eu, Italian io, French je – this last has a fricative, but it was once a glide, too, as its first letter has descended from none other than I. Thereby hangs a tale: what we see now as j was first an ornamental i with a tail; when the glide sound came from the vowel, it was written the same way at first, but when we decided we needed a separate letter for the glide – or for the fricative or affricate it had become – we kept the j for that. If we needed another version still, we used y. And sometimes, in English, where the i seemed too small for the vowel, we wrote y instead. See that y: like an i and a j joined. In Dutch, words once written with y – such as the river Y – are now written with ij (and the river is het IJ). The self plain and the self fancy, extended: together you have branching, division, or you have dowsing, divination, depending on your direction. Widening or narrowing: your self is your choice. Which shall you do?

We aggrandized our little i. When we stopped saying ich we were left with a jot and a dot. It was not big enough; the I does not want to pass unnoticed. So it gained an infusion of capital. In other languages, politeness may dictate the upper case for the formal other person: Sie in German, U in Dutch (which, informally, says je for “you”). Honour may dictate it for royalty and deity: Your Grace, His grace. But we, we who see ourselves as the axis of all, we plant a flagpole at our north pole of the self: I. How we forget that when all rotates around a point, the point around which is rotates has no size, no dimension. It is a perfect nothing. Without it the action could not be happening, but it is only there as a result and part of the action. It itself does not move; it is still, there. And when the action stops it is not still there.

I is not the most common word in English; it sits, according to wordcount.org, at 11th place – ay, ay, 11. The most common pronoun, in eighth place, is it. The most frequent actual noun is in 66th place, after so many function words, pronouns, auxiliaries, and staple verbs. It is what the I exists in: time.

What does the I stand for? among other things, I stands for the heaviest element commonly used by living organisms, an element rare in many places but soluble in water and so concentrated in seawater: iodine. It stains and it stings, but we need it. Without it our thyroids underdevelop, with bad effect; iodine deficiency is the leading cause of preventable mental retardation.

But our little candle, the small i, takes us to the root of this all. And if our self is defined in opposition – the spear against spear, the ego that opposes, the reversal seen in reflection, the inevitable entropy of the candle – then our self is a negative one. And the root of negative one is i: an imaginary number, not countable or accountable in the real world, but still usable for describing and calculating things in our lives. The square root of 1 is 1; the square root of –1 is i. One less than nothing, and reduced by one dimension.

This is your I, grasshopper: a useful illusion, a mere effect of and part of action. You see a line between yourself and the world, but I, the line, is all there is, and even that is nothing real.

A friend of mine reminded me of Descartes today (you know who you are!).  Geeze, I probably owe my undergraduate degree (or at least my GPA) to Descartes.  I was a psychology major, trying my best to take any course somewhat more stimulating than behavioral psychology, developmental psychology, humanistic psychology, abnormal psychology (wait, that one was kind of fun).  I took one class in philosophy, and it was a real revelation.

There were no tests.  Lectures were optional, though, they were very entertaining, and so I attended most of them.  Your entire grade was based on a mid-term outline for your term paper, and your final term paper.  I chose Descartes as my topic.

Descartes was a French philosopher and mathematician (the Cartesian coordinate system is named after him).  He’s famous for the postulate “I think, therefore I am.” That brings up the very fundamental question of “who are you?”  This question has been asked by Jana Yoga scholars for millenia; Shankara, Patanjali, Ramana Maharshi (in recent times).

If the ‘I’ you are talking about is your conscious mind, then yes, Descartes is absolutely correct.  But, I might disagree with traditional interpretations of what he’s describing.  Most scholars interpret that quote to mean ” because I think, it is proof that I am”.  My interpretation is that “thinking gives rise to an individual awareness, an ego, and hence a person manifests.”  If to think, therefore you are, then to not think, therefore you are not!  At least in the limited ego sense.

I can’t honestly recall what my term paper was about.  But I explored this topic at length, with real fervor.  ”Who are you?”

I got an A- in the class, it saved my GPA and helped me to graduate.  Philosophy seemed way closer to the mark than psychology… so I think that sealed my fate.

Well, folks, it’s been fun. I’ve had this blog for over two years now, and despite its popularity (JOKES!), I’m moving on. I’ve uploaded my archive to a new home, which basically integrates two formerly disparate parts of my life: writing and podcasting. I’m doing both in the same place now.

After some discussion and very little fanfare, I’ll be blogging exclusively from The Unknown Studio’s new website as of today. That means Pseudo Psyence will be no more.

But check this out: my co-host Scott and I are hoping to get you all kinds of shit-hot content — on top of our show, we have some other interesting projects in the works that I don’t want to blow my wad on just yet, but trust me: they’re coming. Meetings are being had; alcohol is being consumed; ideas are coming to fruition. And: alcohol is being consumed.

Also, guess what? You can read all about it at TheUnknownStudio.ca!

Thanks for reading!

Vaknade i morse och var mentalt inställd på att städa. Pratade med mamma och hon var sugen på att göra något roligt… visst sa jag : STÄDA… jätteskoj. Men nödvändigt. Ett längre tag har jag gått och funderat på hurvida jag skulle behålla mitt hår eller klippa av det. Pratade med mamma – jag hade bestämt mig, det skulle av!!! Att ha hår till midjan är ganska jobbigt, dels för att det ska skötas och dels för att det är varmt. På nätterna lägger sig hundarna (läs Japp) på det så det gör ont ibland… Sagt och gjort vi åkte upp till Richardson där vi har vår frissa. Det är en superbra frissa som oftast kan ta en direkt och dom gör ett kanonjobb! Vi kom in och jag sa att jag vill klippa av håret och det ska doneras till cancerpatienter! Okej sa dom. Vi fick vänta en halvtimme. En fläta gjordes på mitt hår som totalt blev ca 15 cm och sedan sa det bara smack och håret var av! Det kändes så skönt! Osminkad men okej i håret, så här ser jag ut nu:

Det var ganska mycket som rök om man säger så… och jag är så nöjd! Det är sååååååååååååå skönt!!!! Frissan tog även fram lite produkter som jag behöver nu när jag har kort hår… hårmousse, en gel och spray samt en hårtork… Moussen, gel:en och sprayen fick jag gratis för att jag donerade håret och dom hade en speciell Cancer awarness drive Det gjorde inte allt sämre om man så säger. Mamma fick även hon en hårklippning som blev supersnygg men vill inte vara med på bild…

Sedan gick jag och mamma på shoppingrunda i köpcentret. Vi hittade nya snyggare kläder som jag kan ha på mig när jag är ute och representerar företaget bland annat. Jag hittade prickig pyjamas och matchande tofflor och så snubblade vi över dom här:

Visserligen är jag en dallismänniska men jag har ju faktiskt Hershey och hon är ju en chokladfärgad labrador. Det är så sällan man hittar något med en chokladfärgad labbe på, det finns svarta och gula men sällan chokladfärgade så det fanns ju inget annat alternativ än att dom skulle hem till mig!!!

Väl hemma var det bara dags att mata Cocktail (som för övrigt har varit med i sin lilla barnvagn hela dagen) och packa upp alla kläder och prylar man handlat. Jag har verkligen haft en sån underbar dag!!! Jag känner mig så glad just nu!

Alla bailade.

Så nu sitter jag ensam klockan halv 11 på en lördagskväll. En lördagskväll!
And I got it rubbed in my face. So bad att mitt ansikte känns som slamsat sandpapper.

Okej, kanske en överdrift, men om inte mitt ansikte, så kommer min telefonräkning att få mitt konto att kippa efter andan.
Avslutade ett en timma långt samtal till Townsville, Australien, nyss.
Där hade solen precis gått upp och min crazy irish friend satt med solglasögon på efter en av många episka fyllor i bushen.

Kontentan av samtalet är hur man kan komma på hur mycket man saknar någon som egentligen bara snackar skit om ens origins och Ace of Base.  Patriotism har nog, trots allt, aldrig varit någonting för mig.

Så nu sitter jag här, med en påse chips, Transformers på TV:n och en artikel som ska skrivas.
God I wanna be abroad.

.. Och i skrivande stund ringde han igen.
Nu är längtanssjukan ett faktum.