Originally published by Lagniappe in 2004. This is the first food article I ever wrote.

Béchamel is one of those funny French words that no one in the States can quite figure out how to pronounce. Is it bay-shuh -mel? Or possibly boo-shuh -may? And what is that silly looking apostrophe thing doing hanging out over the second letter? And while we are on the subject what the heck is it anyway, a fancy sports car?

A Béchamel is one of the “five mother” sauces of classic French cuisine first created by Louis de Béchamel a steward of King Louis XIV circa 1700. At its base it consists of butter, flour, and milk. This sauce’s consistency can vary from thin to quite thick and it adapts to many different dishes depending on how you alter the base recipe.

This is all very nice, but why would Roy from Eight Mile care about some hoity-toity French food?

Because, Roy, you have eaten it all of your life.

How many of us have grown up with our mothers or grandmothers fixing a great big pan of milk gravy to sop our biscuits in? That’s right kids, sawmill gravy is nothing more that the nefarious Béchamel with a slight recipe adjustment. In the South we substitute bacon or sausage drippings for the butter. Add some fried salt pork, fig preserves, and black coffee and you have a breakfast fit for the most cantankerous NASCAR fan.

For the record the word ‘biscuit’ is also of French origin.

Think that is the only time you’ve encountered Béchamel? Think again. How about macaroni and cheese, or Alfredo sauce, or spinach cheese dip, or cream of mushroom soup? Even chicken potpie uses a variation of Monsieur Béchamel’s invention. It is also appears in Fondue from Switzerland and the Queso from your favorite Tex-Mex restaurant. It’s everywhere!

As you can see Béchamel is not as foreign as you might think. So rather than dismissing Béchamel as just another high-brow dish meant only to give the appearance of culture and sophistication (see Tiramisu), let’s explore its culinary potential. If you are not convinced afterwards then toss it on the trash heap of French culture right next to the beret.

What red blooded American does not enjoy a gooey grilled cheese sandwich? When we are feeling especially sassy we have even been known to stick a piece of ham in between those two golden slices of cheese. Well in France they go one better, Croque Monsieur. In essence a grilled cheese sandwich, but in reality much, much more. This little offering is so gooey it must be eaten with a fork.

Croque Monsieur
8 thick slices French bread
1/2 pound ham, thinly sliced
1/2 pound Gruyère or aged Swiss cheese, thinly sliced
1 cup grated Gruyère or aged Swiss cheese
1/4 cup Dijon mustard Butter for spreading
2 Tablespoons unsalted butter
2 Tablespoons flour
2 cups whole milk
Salt & pepper, to taste

Prepare the Béchamel by melting butter in small saucepan until it just starts to bubble. Add flour, and cook, stirring constantly until smooth but not brown. Whisking constantly, add the milk, continuing to cook until thick. Remove from heat and season. Transfer to a bowl and cover by placing a piece of plastic wrap directly on the surface of the sauce not the lip of the bowl. Preheat the broiler and have a griddle or skillet ready. Spread the mustard on one side of the bread. Top with ham and cheese and cover with remaining bread.

Generously butter both sides of the bread. Place sandwiches on hot griddle or skillet and cook about 3-4 minutes or until golden brown on both sides. Transfer the sandwiches to a broiler pan or baking sheet. Spread some of the béchamel on top of each sandwich and then top with the grated cheese. Broil about 2 minutes or until the top is golden and the cheese has melted. Serve immediately. Sounds good doesn’t it? Believe it or not in Paris this is considered a “healthy” snack.

As you can see not everything from France smells funny and looks like it needs a shower. The French passion for Jerry Lewis is disturbing to say the least, but Béchamel for instance is yummy. Give it a try in whatever form fits your appetite.

With today being a holiday, I thought it would be fitting to celebrate this piece of work who obviously has no idea exactly which holiday it is.

Oh heyyy, guy in red hat, I'm not giggling at YOU.

Nearly a month after Halloween and worse, more than four months before St. Patrick’s Day, Homeskillet rolls up on the Light Rail in (I’m guessing) his idea of an O.G. pimp hat that more resembles the Lucky Charms Mascot’s attire.

"Me wants to pimp yo' hos!"

Wait, no, Lucky the Leprechaun reminds me way to much of marshmallowy goodness and childhood. This guy reminded me more of this:

A little less "I'm going to give you a cavity," a little more "I'm going to watch you sleep tonight."

Add in his MC Hammer Pants and Flava Flav gold chain and I’m officially annoyed. Vanilla Ice had one hit and one hit ONLY for a reason.

On top of the ridiculous attire, this guys starts bobbing his head to his music (circa Eminem pre-rap battle in Eight Mile) and mouthing words so obnoxiously that I cannot help but watch and wonder.

I can only guess Vanilla Face is listening to:

A) Creed or

B) Nickelback

(I’m guessing Nickelback seeing as Creed has been kind enough to STFU for the last few years while Chad Kroger and his band mates who presumably live among his disgusting Canadian Jesus mullet can’t seem to stop churning out the audio vomit on a daily basis. But I digress…)

Either way, you FAIL, Slim Shady.

People of Mobile, Alabama, however, you WIN. I do believe I found your leprechaun.

Click Acorn...urgh...Leprechaun to Watch Video

Turns out it really was just a “crackhead dat got hold to da wrong stuff.”

Happy Railing (and Happy Thanksgiving,)

<3 lightrailgirl

After Powes Parkop was elected Governor of the National Capital District (NCD) in the PNG elections in July 2007, he made the following statement to the press:

“I have a moral obligation to speak out about West Papua. I will speak on the issue of West Papua so that it is raised as a serious issue in Papua New Guinea and in the region so it can be addressed, because this is a real issue. It’s been pushed under the carpet for too long.”

For a new elected politician entering PNG’s 8′th National Parliament, it was quite a radical perspective to carry into the Haus Tambaran. Over the years not a single PNG Government has supported West Papua’s push for independence due to a number of reasons which I will not discuss in this post. What I do find very interesting is Powes Parkop’s support for the movement.

What prompted me to write this post was a brilliant legal argument I stumbled upon written by Parkop when he was Chairman of Melanesian Solidarity (I’m not too sure if he still is?). Melanesian Solidarity or simply MelSol is a PNG-based interest group that campaigns against neo-colonialism across Melanesia, including West Papua.

That legal paper is titles Reinscription of West Papua as a Colonised State and People and presents the case for West Papua as a State and as a people entitled to exercise the right to self-determination under International Law by presenting valid historical, ethno-cultural, geographical and political arguments – all of which make sense.

In 2000, as an MelSol activist, Parkop criticised then PNG Prime Minister Sir Mekere Morauta and his government for once again sweeping the West Papua issue “under the carpet”. Parkop went on to say:

“The government may continuously try to bury the West Papuan issue but everyone knows that it will not go away. West Papuans have unanimously called for independence and nothing will stop them. The long term solution is to facilitate the will of the people instead of turning a blind eye. Long term security of the region will be better guaranteed if the West Papua issue is put on the negotiating table and addressed to the satisfaction of the West Papuan people.”

On the international pro-West Papua front, the current NCD Governor is actually listed as being an active current member of the International Parliamentarians for West Papua (IPWP) which was inaugrally launched on December 1st, 2008 in London. Members of that group also include notable MP’s from the UK and Vanuatu. Mysteriously, Parkop was expected to attend the launching – but never did.

When launching the 2007 Let’s Do It PNG Media Expo, Powes Pakop challenged the PNG media to more actively address the issue of West Papua:

“I do not even know of or have heard of an organised media visit to West Papua through the Indonesia Embassy. It seems that as far as the media was concerned, West Papua was a ‘a taboo’ [subject]. It’s a domestic affair similar to how we treat domestic violence. We only highlight the facts with screaming headlines in newspapers or TV after the wife has been killed and the husband charged with murder or manslaughter.”

More recently, it is interesting to note that Powes Parkop has been responsible for using force to displace West Papuan refugees from their settlements in NCD five times within nine months. West Papuans in NCD have moved from Eight Mile to Ela Beach, then to the back of Boroko Police Station, then to residential homes near Apex Park, then to Apex Park Sports Oval, where they were eventually evicted again to Rainbow Estate at Gerehu.

So, the question must be asked, is Powes Parkop going soft on his stance regarding independence for West Papua?

“It didn’t take 10 minutes to spread.”
Cynthia Autrey – Burger Master cook.

In my March article Gulf Coast Diners I made sure to highlight one of the truly great diners in America, the Burger Master in Eight Mile.  Well, sad news, folks, Thursday there was a grease fire at the old Burger Master that has gutted the building which has fed Mobileans the best burgers and seafood since 1965.  Here is the article filed by Ron Colquitt of the Mobile Press Register.

From our friends at Students for a Free Economy

Even Dead People Are Fleeing Detroit

You know it’s bad when corpses can’t even handle being (not being?) in Detroit.

From today’s WSJ:

Where Have All the Graveyards Gone?
Decades ago, Detroit started experiencing white flight. Then blacks started fleeing too. Now, the Detroit News reports, Departed-Americans are departing–which is to say, their remains no longer remain:

From 2002 through 2007, the remains of about 1,000 people have been disinterred and moved out of the city, according to permits stored in metal filing cabinets in the city’s department of health. Looked at in another way, for about every 30 living human beings who leave Detroit, one dead human being follows.

The paper adds, “Although there is little information or statistical evidence regarding the phenomenon across the country, it is quite likely that Detroit and its surrounding communities lead the way, as it does in population loss among the living.” Of course, some places make it more complicated for the dead to leave. For instance, in Chicago, they have to register to vote at their new address.