Honor killing is not a controversial issue. Nobody likes it. Not even people in Jordan, apparently, as Ellen R. Sheeley explains in her book Reclaiming Honor in Jordan. She says the people there overwhelmingly oppose it, though the government doesn’t punish it like other murders. I haven’t read this book, but I’ve seen the open letter written by Sheeley to King Abdullah II of Jordan.

This letter is obviously not meant to persuade King Abdullah of anything. It’s publicity for the book, to be shared around the feministphere. I mean, an American woman doesn’t write to a foreign king and say haughty things like, “my initial impressions of Jordan as a relatively enlightened country in the region” and expect to get anywhere, even if she does have a tedious amount of good data. But great idea, Sheeley.

Honor Suicide

The most startling thing I discovered from her open letter was that a new phenomenon has been born: honor suicides. In countries cracking down on honor killing, some woman-murderers have begun to accomplish their goal by getting women to kill themselves. My God, I think to myself, we really have succeeded in westernizing the whole world!

Ah, but of course I’m being sarcastic.

Women don’t kill themselves in America. Men kill them. And if men can’t kill them, they kill their children, or they beat them, or they rape them, or they teach them to virtually beat and rape themselves through lives dedicated to performance and pleasing.

Ah, but of course I’m being sarcastic again.

Women have achieved equality. Feminism is dead and, really, just a good thing anyway. It is so unnecessary. My life is a perfect example of why feminism is unnecessary. I have so many choices my mother never had:

• I can work at the same job as my husband and make 30% less — or I can stay home with my children and have no financial recourse if he chooses to dump me for the 20-something who sits near him.
• I can watch television shows with my children if I don’t mind explaining to my 5-year-old what “viagra” is — or I can let her play a computer game with Spiderman, Batman, Superman, or any of the other “mans”.
• I can play sports with her, so when she’s sixteen none of the boys will want to date her, a girl who’s more athletic than them – or I can get her a Dora head with hair to brush, a Barbie, and an Easy Bake Oven.
• I can attend Mass where a man in a white robe attends a man in a green robe who offers thanks to a man hanging on a cross all scrutinized by a man in a funny hat, who tells the women, who fill most of the pews, to have as many babies as God wants you to, which means as many as your husband, who’s not at Mass, wants – or I can attend a service where a woman in a white robe offers thanks to a man hanging on a cross, while being overseen by a board comprised mostly of men, referred to as a ”general assembly,” “synod”, or “council”, before pews once again filled mostly with women.

Ignorance is Deadly

Here’s an excerpt from Sheeley’s letter about — what else? – the ignorance of women, perpetrated by a culture that limits their education and information, that is. When I read this, I don’t see a lot of difference from our own culture.

Of course I’m being sarcastic! We don’t limit education and information here, either.

Nonetheless, there remains a continued need for efforts to educate people in general and women in particular about their rights and the limits of them. In my research, compared to their male counterparts, the female respondents were both less likely to know that “honor” killings in Jordan are not punished as ordinary murders and less likely to be aware of “honor” killings that have occurred within their extended families. And these differences between the genders were highly statistically significant.

Similarly, there is an important role for both parents and religious leaders to play. Twenty-one-and-a-half percent of the survey respondents believe that Islam requires that sexually promiscuous behaviors be cleansed through “honor” killings, while another 2% are unsure. The experts and the imams I have consulted tell me this is absolutely not the case. In the sample, parents and religion/religious leaders (in that order) were named by the respondents as exerting the strongest influence on their attitudes, opinions, and beliefs about “honor” killings. And so it is crucial that they discuss “honor” killings, ensure that any miseducation and misinformation be corrected, and offer better means of addressing this issue. (A HEARTFELT APPEAL TO HIS MAJESTY KING ABDULLAH II OF JORDAN)

Reclaiming Honor in Jordan: A National Public Opinion Survey on “Honor” Killings

Editorial Reviews

Product Description
In early 2003, Ellen R. Sheeley began to educate herself about “honor” killings, particularly those that take place in Jordan. That summer she journeyed from her home in San Francisco, California, USA to Amman, Jordan, where she learned of the needs for empirical, objective, baseline data pertaining to the Jordanian public’s attitudes, opinions, and beliefs about “honor” killings and for a sustained marketing campaign to change hearts and minds. As a seasoned marketing professional, she was confident she had the ability and the qualifications to fulfill these needs. Unable to secure funding or sponsorship from the obvious and even the not-so-obvious sources and, yet, unwilling for mere lack of financial support to give up on the needs of the at-risk individuals and the victims, she quit her job, moved from her home, placed her personal effects in storage, bade adieu to her loved ones, and returned to Amman in October 2005 to perform the work pro bono, funded by her private savings. “Reclaiming Honor in Jordan” is a result of this effort and reveals a number of surprising findings about public opinion on this subject.

About the Author
Ellen R. Sheeley is the Founder and CEO of Nob Hill Consulting, a San Francisco, California, USA based management and marketing consulting firm specializing in the international financial services and the technology sectors. She possesses an M.B.A. degree with a marketing concentration, a B.A. degree in psychology, and over 25 years’ professional experience. Ellen has served on the boards of a number of nonprofit and technology corporations and on the faculties of four American universities. She has lived and/or worked in the United States, the CIS, Europe, Latin America, the Middle East, and the Pacific Rim and traveled to over 80 countries throughout the world. The research about which this book was written is a labor of love for Ellen and was wholly funded from her personal savings. In addition, all time and labor devoted to it were provided pro bono. Information on how to make a most welcome contribution to this effort may be received by sending an e-mail inquiry to forallwomen@gmail.com.

http://www.amazon.com/Reclaiming-Honor-Jordan-National-Killings/dp/9957860704