On Thanksgiving, when there is so much to be thankful for, and so many people having serious and emotional situations to deal with (family serving in the military overseas, foreclosures rampant) it may seem that those little things are just that – trivial. I don’t want to undermine those major things we cope with and those huge emotions we wrestle with, but today, I am grateful for the small things. In particular, I am grateful for any small snippet, a joke, a smile, a knowing look, a small story shared, that lets me know that I am not alone in my experiences, and that there are other people, other moms in particular, who “get it”. For each of us “getting it” means something different, but it is so important to us. That feeling of isolation, confusion, despair, desperation, helplessness, anger, and tears can almost vanish when one generous mom reaches out to another and truly understands. I have been grateful for this generosity over and over again. I extend it whenever I can. I can see the look on other mom’s faces – the flooding of relief, the humor replacing the tension, and the unspoken appreciation for having one’s emotional banks shored up a little bit so that we in turn can give ourselves to the ones dependent on us.

I have been both been a part of and have witnessed these small giving exchanges between moms over email, in parks, in playgroups and anywhere it seems needed. Sometimes a helping hand with a door, stroller and toddler is all that is needed. Sometimes it’s a shoulder to cry on, a hot meal delivered, or an offer to babysit for a couple of hours. This ongoing giving to acquaintances, and sometimes strangers, bolsters my spirit. I am thankful for the generous acts of others that encourage me to do so myself.

We moms are always under fire for something. Indeed too many moms judge too harshly, or speak their ill-formed opinion without being asked for it. We debate each other and debate society about our choices for ourselves, for our families, and for our children. And yet the quiet march of support for each other goes on every day – without judgment, and without strings attached. I think moms giving to other moms embodies the “pay it forward” concept.

If you are a mom and do not have a strong support system, and/or you have particularly difficult children or a difficult situation, my heart goes out to you. I hope you find the support and help you need. I’ve been there and am still a frequent visitor. Don’t be afraid to use whatever tools help you. Don’t be ashamed to seek out a therapist or other expert who “gets it” too. Find your small boosts wherever you can. Sometimes the smallest things can make you smile. Try writing down 3 things you appreciate about the people giving you the most difficulty. Sit down with a Brain, Child magazine. But mostly, reach out occasionally to those other moms who used to be where you are now, and I bet you will feel some palpable support coming your way.

Today was another day of service and I loved it. We practiced Reality Therapy in the Basic Week and I answered a lot of questions. We began the discussion about lead management, which is good because it seems in implementing lead management, the program may have gone a little too far to the laissez faire side out things. That will have to be addressed. Tomorrow, we will be digging deeper into lead management and practicing reality therapy with more difficult clients.

Another service I was able to perform today was helping a wonderful friend. She is suffering and in pain because the relationship she had hoped would be her forever relationship ended by his choice and she is confused, hurt and grieving the loss.

Sometimes in her grief, she will consider going places and doing things that are destructive for her and this man she continues to love. However, she has self-appointed me her “relationship consultant” so before she does anything drastic, she will run it by me first. I’m not sure how I feel about that and I never (at least I hope never) give her advice. I basically remind her of what she already knows. I hope it helps. She says it does and I am so pleased to be able to provide her any relief.

This woman is so wonderful and has helped many people. It is difficult to watch her in such pain but I also have faith that this pain exists for a reason and she will come out stronger for it on the other side.

When was the last time you helped a friend in need, either by providing an act of service, lending your emotional support through conversation or simply listening?

Jaycee Dugard was kidnapped 18 years ago, she suffered tremendous abuse at the hands of her abductors , and is using the power of horses to heal.

Those of us who introduce horses to people through Equine Assisted Learning, Coaching, Leadership, workshops or Therapy know the changes and empowerment people experience in the presence of these magnificent animals.

We know that life is complex and dynamic, and there are times when we have felt stuck.  When we know we are not making the strides forward we want, desire or need and to live up to the potential we know we have. Those are the times when we need a little horse power!

When people bring their life challenges to us and the horses they experience something new and different by watching the movement of the horse, and interacting with them in the moment. The experience opens people to gain a new awareness of themselves (how they relate, communicate, focus, believe in, think, feel, express, behave, decide, etc) which allows them to create a change and/or healing in their life.  Sounds simple. Many times it is, but there are experiences that unfortunately happen to people or behaviors they repeat  many times that take longer to  heal from, and lots of experimenting with  new ways to make them part of our daily life.  Such is the experience of a young woman and her daughters.

Jaycee Dugard was kidnapped 18 years ago, she suffered tremendous abuse at the hands of  her abductors, and is using the power of horses to learn new ways of being and to heal herself and her daughters.People Magazine brought us the first news and a little glimpse into her world and Kate Latimer of the Albuquerque Mental Health Examiner published Jaycee Dugard and Family heal with horse therapy.  Jaycee & her daughters are surrounded by caring people, and the most healing animal on earth.  Still they have a difficult journey ahead of them.

It will be a long time before we learn the extend of Jaycee’s challenges after her tragic experience, and the effects working with the horses has on her life.  Having witnessed a horse heal many people and offer change & hope, I know in my heart that all three of these women will find more healing by walking the path and sharing their experience with the horse.

We know that women NEED to connect with each other. In fact, a “remedy” for unhappiness or not being satisfied with our lives, that I always recommend to others is girlfriend time!

It’s partially why women’s retreats are so successful. There is nothing like basking in the love of other women. We RELATE to each other’s lives. We get to share feelings. We GET to share the details.

It has become very obvious to me that facebook is one of those outlets, and inlets for us.

Girlfriends

For me personally, I got support, in the last month alone, when I wrote about wanting to eat chocolate, when my boyfriend wanted us to get a house together but not put my name on it, when I started worrying about my toes getting crooked, and problems I was having with my crazy beautiful adorable cat. We also discussed topics like Obama, life purpose issues, abuse issues, and some really fun things like babies roller skating, cops calling 911 thinking they are dying from getting too stoned, to other funny jokes, especially about the woo woo factor in Sedona, to meeting up with old school friends, and making great new friends. Wow, all this inside the space of a month, as a result of internet technology.

So, while we SAY we are not connecting as much we people, because we are all home on our computers, I must now disagree. We are becoming closer than ever, and I for one am very grateful now for facebook.

I did write a blog months ago, where I complained about becoming obsessed with facebook and it taking up all our time. I’m a woman, dah, I’m allowed to change my mind, right?

by francy Dickinson                     www.seniorcarewithspirit.com

Dear francy: After realizing that mom needed more care than a phone call each day things have changed. We just got through cleaning Mom’s home after years of her ignoring the mess. She had not hoarded she just did not clean. So rooms were filled with old things and now the family has cleaned it out and we are starting fresh. We had every room painted and the bath faucets updated and the kitchen got a new smaller stove and new microwave. We took your advice and got it ready for care givers. One of the bedrooms is now ready for an overnight guest or caregiver, the closets of old clothes in each room are clean too. Now it looks empty and mom is really feeling a cross between happy to have it clean and making it her own again. She is recovering from her stroke but I live two hours away and can only do so much with my weekly visits.

Well, lets start at the beginning, what a great job you and your three brothers did on the house. And how smart of you to clean and paint and ready the house for a sale if that has to happen in the near future. Since your mom is doing so much better and only needs her meals and a daily care visit of two hours, I think you have a great program going. The job now is to keep your mom busy and that might take some thinking.

Lets talk about depression its much more common than you can imagine. Strokes often effect the brain with sadness and so does the recovery from other health issues and of course the loss of a spouse. This whole house cleaning could also set off sadness in her daily routine. Even though your dad passed years ago, she is now just facing her own older and less able to do things lifestyles. I’m sure she thought that your dad would be there to help her at this time of life and the grieving can resurface. It can be treated with drugs that help so much, but so does therapy. Even though your mom is older it would not hurt to have her do a 4 session therapy round to give her a chance to express her personal feelings to someone other than family. She may smile when you are there but she may be very sad or teary on her own, so check this out. That way she can really close some personal issues and adjust to her new life of being less mobile and more home bound. It is not easy to make that change. So even though you are there for her and your love and support is strong…your mom needs some time talking things through and getting her new lifestyle started with healthy thoughts. What you dont want is for her to be upset or confused or just feeling lonely and no one really knowing about it because she is keeping quiet.

So, lets remake the home area that has been so well cleaned and updated.  Start with an area for her to write down things she needs on a listing by her chair. If she thinks of something she writes it down and when you come on Tuesdays she can give the list to you. You can review and try to handle what ever is on the list in a wise manner. That will keep her feeling that her inability to leave the house and drive is not stopping her from getting things and items in order in her life.

Put together a plan to decorate in a lovely way for each season so she can enjoy her home or any room she lives in as time passes.  Take older pictures of family and choose one or two and have them enlarged and put up on the wall like large art pieces. This removes the clutter of fifty small family frames, into a just a couple of stellar photos that reflect years ago and the current family picture. The older pictures can be scanned and put on a nice mp3 frame that will show a slide show when you touch the screen. Always put your father’s picture in a nice frame and have it where she can enjoy it..maybe one with them both as a couple but do not over do. Memories are to be cherished not overwhelming.

Add a little color with throw pillows and a good lap throw so she has color around her without changing wall color. If there is some money, recover  her better furniture It will be familiar but updated to a current nice color that reflects her personality. Add a grandchild corner with a big basket of toys for the visiting little ones. That way the kids enjoy the visit and she has a reminder of her lovely little ones around her. The house will remain clean, safe to walk around and yet feel updated with things that are currently special to her. Not things that have been there and forgotten for 30 years.   

Remember that when any person pulls their world back down into their own home or care center, their universe is smaller and therefore becomes more intense. So do not be alarmed if she gets upset with things that you feel are small and silly. The room temperature  may bother her to distraction, the way she feels sitting in her chair may be uncomfortable. What used to be a minor issue among many daily tasks is now the only issue. Deal with them as they come up and just allow her to vent until you arrive each week.

Here are some changes that you will have when your Senior is home bound:

1. The TV may not be right for her. It becomes a big part of her life, so a new set that she can see and use the remote. Adding Dish or Comcast will give her more channels and a constant reminder of how to use the channels and the remote will be required for quite a while tell she understands the process. You might also try moving an old set in a closer position or get her headphones that plug into the TV so she hears without a high volume. History, sports and Military channel for the guys and food, home, mystery channels for the ladies…it makes a huge difference. Set the TV with text to run on the bottom of the screen if your senior is hard of hearing so they really enjoy the viewing time.
2. Get her into a senior center and drop her off once a week to involve her with other seniors for as long as she can do this with her health issues. This can be cards, bingo, special exercise classes, lectures, lunches, food gifting, crafts and outings. You will find that the first visit needs you by her side and then they get drawn in and really enjoy this time. It will fill their mind with things during their week and help their emotional stability. It is worth having a care giver or senior in neighborhood driving them to and from and that could be a $10-$20 investment well made for the transportation. There are vans for seniors and you can try that too.
3. Plan events in their homes for your active family members. OK so Thanksgiving is coming up. Did you know that around the holiday many local grocery stores do full turkey dinners? You can order one for a week before Thanksgiving. They will cook the whole meal and it only needs to be picked up, warmed and served. Then invite some family and old friends over for and early Thanksgiving. This will be a full month of getting ready and making plans without the worry over the cooking and lots of left overs to give away. Then the actual holiday comes and your senior can attend the family dinner or stay home without sadness because they had their own nice celebration the week before. Works well for many.
4. Each visit you need to open the refrigerator and make sure the senior is eating food that is being delivered and prepared. Just because food is in the house does not mean the senior is eating it. So look through the refrigerator. If the senior gets into a special diet of potatoes or just canned chili or other items dont worry, it will work itself out. Just make sure they are eating and add a Boost dietary drink so they get plenty of protein. Tell dr about the eating if it gets bad and he will prescribe meds that increase the hunger issue.
5. On your visit ck the cleanliness of the kitchen that is a care giver job and you want to make sure the staff you hire for your senior is doing their job. Clean counters, floors, and appliances are a must…check. If it is not clean, report the caregiver to the service and ask for another care giver or more time each week for a good cleaning.
6. Check on the bathroom for the senior, it should be very clean, the caregiver also is responsible for that area. The bathchair should be in the tub the handheld shower should work and be clean. The towels should be in order. If your senior has old towels remove them. You will need four good bath towels and a stack of hand clothes to make sure your senior is able to get good care. I am sure you know that the most important person you can hire to care for your senior is a bath lady. They are well trained to do a great job and will report injuries, sickness, dizziness and any other problem with your senior. You always find professional at a “In home care service” they provide a variety of care people to hit the needs you might have. They are licensed and bonded but once you use them…all expensive jewelry and family things should be given away or put into the bank box…you dont want great grandma’s brooch to be lost to the family because you did not follow through with this.
7. How is the mail box at your senior’s home. Is it on the porch and easy for them to use, or across the street? Maybe you need to buy a new one that is larger and easier to use. Or have the mail all forwarded to the home of the person caring for your seniors finances. Getting mail each day, can be a dangerous task for those that do not walk well. If they still want their daily mail, put the pick up on the care givers to do list. Or ask a long time neighbor to drop it off and put a box on the front porch for them to do so. Then  make sure you thank the neighbor often with cookies or a box of candy so they know they are appreciated. This daily ck in by a neighbor can save a life one day.
8. Watch the charge cards of seniors, they tend to build up if they sit and order items from TV or the phone. You can stop unwanted calls by removing their names on phone lists. You can get a special service added to the phone that will filter calls from anyone but approved family and friends. You can also get a good easy to hear phone with special features for hearing disabled. You can add a cell phone to your own family plan and have your senior wear it on a holder around their neck or in a belt. Teach them how to call for help and call you…you can also add a home protection service that is a button for the senior to push if they are hurt or need help.
9. If the senior looks out into the yard from their family or living area…get the grass cut and the bushes trimmed and load up the beds with bark. You dont have to make gardening a hobby at your mother’s place, but keeping it looking in order will relax her and help the home to re-sell in the near future. If you have teens in the family ask them to make the garden and grass their task and pay them a small amount. Taking care of the home and keeping it safe will allow your senior to relax and enjoy their life. Instead of them worrying over uncut grass and the house slowing breaking down around them.
10. Make rules for your time…if your siblings want to visit great…but remember your mother is a part of your family…just a part. Make her needs work into your life with your calendar days not her’s. She is at home each day you are working and keeping another home. So be kind, but be strong about saying I will come down on Tuesdays and get what ever I can done that afternoon and evening…the rest will have to wait till my next visit. She will soon learn the routine and she will be happier knowing you give time to her but still have time for you and your own life.
11. Care starts small…a day here, an hour there and soon it becomes overwhelming. Remember when you make any decision have an idea of what will happen in time to come. That way each step your mother takes in her recovery and her advancement with her declining health issues- is a step that fulfills her life but is in line with her future care. What I mean is do not spend a lot of her money on things for a home that will not repay, her money is limited and will be needed for care giving in the future. If she wants fancy clothes but she can not go out the door, try to adjust her thinking to clothing that is fresh and easy for at home comfort. It takes a mind change for you both…and that is what you now must make a change and realization that your mom is older and is declining in health.But her today and tomorrow can be happy and fun and filled with hope.

I appreciate your email and that my ideas have already helped you make solid decisions on your mom’s care. You are doing a great job and thank you for your care. Please do visit my web site and remember I have written a book on Senior Care Workbook 101 that really helps with all the decisions and care that will be happening as time goes on. You will find the workbook on my website www.seniorcarewithspirit.com

Blessings, francy

So many applications of Resonance Repatterning for children, youth and adults. See my website for more information. Also, many programs are offered long distance so no matter where you live you can benefit from them! go to www.windsorholistichealth.com

We all need to hear that someone believes in us.  We all need to have that someone we can believe in and we all need to be heard and believed.  The strength that is attained within the soul of those who are heard and those who are seen is astronomical and without comparison. 

For the strength of spirit and that of the soul is heartened and solidified when it knows that others have faith in them.  That they have the belief to stand behind them and to encourage their journey and their purpose for being. 

The angels have the heart and they have the soul, they need to have us to say we believe in you so that their journey has meaning.  For it is with the shared journey that we all become stronger and we all become one with each other in our visions and what we see for the happiness of hu-mankind.  

When you believe in someone you encourage their existence and the purpose that they see as being the journey of a lifetime – their lifetime. 

When we finally look to the reason why we are here and ask that all important question we each finally come to a point in our lives and ask – why am I here, what is my reason for being, that is when we truly need to know that we matter, that others believe in us and that we have a purpose, not just some random happenstance, for being in this world. 

There are changes that need to be made, there are people that need to support each other, there are many reasons for being here and some are to hold the space of status quo so that others may gain their balance for their upcoming ‘battle’, their challenge for being here.  We have many on this planet and we have just as many reasons for being here as there are jobs that need to be filled so that society may continue on. 

When we know what our journey is to be and the reason for it there is a sense of satisfaction that is held that others may covet, yet we each – each one of us, have a reason for being here.  Even if we have not come to the place where we feel we want to know or care to know, or if we are searching, perhaps we have not found it yet and we may be desperately searching without and / or perhaps within to find it, we have a purpose for being here and we are exactly where we need to be within the process of it. 

So whether you know, whether you are searching, whether you are in stride of fulfilling that purpose, which you have discovered – and only you can discover and identify, we are each on a journey and each of us is exactly in the perfect place of doing it. 

I was told that we are living in an amazingly faster time than our ancestors were ever able to experience.  In our lifetime we are privileged in that we can see the issue, we can ask the questions, we can search for and find the answers and we get to have an opportunity to begin the process that can create the change we see as necessary so that we can remedy the issue for the generations of our children to come. 

The generations of children to come from us, while they may be of us, will not be us.  They will have their own heart, they will have their own minds, they will have their own bodies and yet we are to be concerned for them for they are of the hu-man race. 

And we, as a people, as a race of sentient beings, have an obligation and a responsibility to be the best that we can be, to search for and create the reality of the potential we contain and we have the obligation and privilege of service to be able to create a race of hu-mans that can be better in who they are, to themselves, to others and to the world and worlds they will live in and amoung. 

These are the children we are sequestered to raise and to empower into the world in which they will enter, live, create and embody time and space as a physical, tangible, conscious, conscientious being in hu-man form.

Gloria 10/6/09

Realize the source of all is truly the source of all.  For wherever your connections, your resources and your gifts and talents seemingly come from, without source of all there would be no flow so that we may experience the gifts from others and the directions they flow through and those they impact as we move along in our journeys of bringing light out of dark. 

I had a moment today as I was reviewing and examining this that I began to say that it would be nice to know what the purpose of this whole game of ‘bringing light out of dark” in this world was playing so that I would see a bigger purpose to this seemingly non-significant or pointless job.  (We must all see a goal that we feel is important to know that we are doing worthwhile and good work.  And each person has a level unto which they finally achieve that sense.  It doesn’t matter on what level as long as we find it, that level, to give it a purpose of action, sacrifice, impact, creation and the potential of what we can imagine as outcome.)  Source gave me the answer in the form of a picture and that comes from taking into consideration the bigger picture of which we are all playing in. 

 While we focus on those things that create our world and see the immediacy of our pictures as being relevant in the scope of our immediate existence, creating a large picture in our minds of what is important in life, so it is that when we look at the ever-expanding notion and view of the world in which we exist – looking to those concentric circles of responsibility we are presented with, and have availability to and then take it out further and further beyond even those we can imagine into the multiple universes we can see a much much larger and over-the-top-of-our-imagination picture. 

When you consider that we as humans continue to relate to and look to those people who have come before us and believe that if they can do it, because they did, we are able to have hope and the inner consolidation of our powers of resolve that we can do it too.  So knowing this as we as a race, that of hu-manity, are able to bring light out of dark we will be able to – when we do evolve to this point, of going to other races in the multiple universes (that science is now validating those of us who have seen them prior) throughout the existence of the source of all, and we will be able to say to them that we did it and so too can they – despite all of the internal conflict and the warring factions of those who do not yet see the light. 

They will be able to see that we, as a race can create a new reality for ourselves – one of light of awareness, understanding and connection instead of darkness of ignorance and contention.  And they too will be heartened and have the hope necessary to be able to create a new reality for themselves and also bring light out of darkness for their populations and races that we shall encounter in our future(s) as hu-mans. 

We truly shall be the missionaries of the stars.  And into the stars we shall find our new frontier in ways in which hu-manity has not imagined yet as emissaries of the source of all.

Gloria 10/2/09

… ok.

So.

I’m still going to post about what happened between me and Chief last week but wanted to get this out there first because.. well.. the two are actually related in a way.

Anyway..

So.

You know.. when you’re in a situation where you’re living with non-adult kids that aren’t yours it’s hard. It’s especially hard when the canal used to birth those kids is a fucking ignorant crack whore who wants nothing more then to undermine any type of authority or rule or wish of the FULL CUSTODIAL PARENT of the kids because she’s a miserable crack whore who can’t stand to see her kids happy or healthy.

Get the picture?

HEADS UP: I will be going on a rant here and it may seem as though I’m being bitter or unfair but in all sincerity, I’m only relating the facts. You can judge yourself whether I’m being bitter or unfair.

As long as I’ve been with Chief, the crack whore has been breezing in and out of the kids lives. At her discretion, mind you. She isn’t one to put anyone other then herself at the top of the list. But then, she’s a crack whore so what do you really expect.

It is my firm belief that she cannot stand the fact that Chief is happy without her.. that the boys have a strong female role model and support system that doesn’t come with an addiction.

Her idea of being a “mother” is to basically buy them. As long as she’s shelling out money.. or lets them to what they’re not suppose to do.. they want to be around her. She thinks that that means that they prefer her over me. I think that the last thing you would want to do is “guilt” your kids into thinking they had to chose between their biological mother and their step mother.

But that’s just me.

At any rate..

In order to have the following make any kind of sense, I’m going to have to go into the fall out with Chief. Just a little anyway. But basically what happened was that I walked into the shop to find him cutting a lunch meat order for her. She said “hello” to me and I told her to not even bother because I’ve been harboring animosity towards her since the last text exchange we had.. we wound up getting into an old fashioned ghetto style shouting match with  me calling her out on all her bullshit and Chief telling ME to stop shouting.

That didn’t fly too well.. as I guess you can imagine.

Anyway.. I told her she wasn’t allowed in the store anymore and when she finally left I told Chief that I couldn’t believe that he had lied to me about him going to tell her she wasn’t allowed in the store anymore… that I can’t believe that he didn’t have MY back and that how dare he tell ME to stop yelling after everything that I’ve been through with her.

I’ll go into more detail about all that in another post but the result was that SHE was going to take on the “Mother Of The Year” mantel. Because.. you know.. she has all this money burning a whole in her pocket.

So the next day, she picks up Bubba from school :: oh yea.. she bought a car :: to take him clothes shopping. A few pairs of jeans.. a few t-shirts.. a hoodie and two pairs of nylon basketball shorts.

NOTE: Just a side thing to put this into perspective, but Bubba wears a size 40/34. She bought him 42/32.

When he came home that night, we were just sitting down to dinner and he starts going into how she was telling him about the blow out that she and I had. He was speaking cryptically because Spaz was there and he just LOVES tormenting him when he knows something that Spaz doesn’t.

Right away, I nipped it. I told him that she had no business telling a 14 year old something that should be kept between adults. Chief concurred and said that that was one of the reasons why he can’t stand having anything to do with her because she does not have the ability to act like an adult OR to not drag Bubba and Spaz into things they shouldn’t be in.

The following day she was taking Spaz out shopping and Bubba had mentioned that she wanted him to stay at the crack den while they were out so that all the things she had bought wouldn’t be stolen.

Ok.. now..

In one breath you say that there is nothing illegal going on at your place.. that there are only reputable pillar of society gracing you with your presence and yet.. and yet.. you’re worried about stuff getting stolen from your place.

Hmmm…

Better call Gil Grissom and the CSI crew for that one!

It turns out that she takes Spaz but Bubba remains home because he wants to do something with his friends. Fine. Whatever. Spaz winds up sleeping over there and that’s fine. Whatever. Not my decision whether they stay or not.. it’s Chief’s. I’m tired of that dog and pony show.

Spaz comes home that Sunday night and tells me that she bought him other things then the two t-shirts and pair of jeans that he came home with but that he’s keeping them over her house for when he sleeps over again.

Whatever. I really don’t care.

NOTE: Just a side thing to put it in perspective, Spaz takes a size 18 Husky pants. What size did she buy him? 32/34. TWO INCHES longer then the pair she bought Bubba who is at least a good foot taller then Spaz.

Ok.. so whatever on all that.

Fast forward a week and Bubba stays home from school sick. He really was sick.. in fact, he was ground zero for whatever me and Chief wound up catching. But he doesn’t want to stay HOME.. he wants to go over to the crack whore’s because well.. at least there would be someone at his mental capacity to talk to :: she only has a 7th grade education and Bubba isn’t the brightest crayon in the box :: and she would make him stuff to eat.

Fine.. whatever. I really don’t care. I drop him off there before taking Spaz to school and return home to the glory that is a Nyquil coma.

Oh but when he comes home? He comes home with a laptop that she bought him. A laptop that Chief INSISTED that he wasn’t allowed to have because he has this thing about computers being in the kids bedrooms until their 16.

Too late though.. because Chief finds out AFTER she already bought it and Bubba has it in his hands.

Personally, I would have taken it right off him but in a lot of ways :: more then he really should be as a parent :: Chief is a pussy when it comes to the boys.

I don’t say anything. By this point.. I’m just over the whole deal and I’m not going to give my input or advice or concerns or anything.

By Friday, I’m so sick that I’m trying to buy a ticket online to cross the River Styx and am gluing half dollar pieces to my own eyelids that the kids have to get to school on their own.

I wound up not seeing Spaz until last night because he spends the weekend at the crack den.

Whatever.. I can’t hold it against the kids for wanting to be with someone who is showering him with everything he wants :: like a fireproof house safe with a digital lock.. don’t ask :: After all, he’s only 11.

But this morning… this morning.. things really set in cement.

Every Friday, Spaz receives a behavior report. He’s in Emotional Support classes at school :: read that as Special Ed for kids with a lot of baggage :: and the report has to be signed  by a parent and returned the following Monday.

Anything that has to do with the kids and school is my responsibility. I’m more then willing to put the time and effort into what they need because Chief is at the shop.

So this morning when I was putting Spaz’s lunch in his schoolbag, guess what I find? The behavior report that the crack whore signed and included a note about how SHE was to be contacted regarding anything to do with Spaz’s education.. behavior or needs.

SHE being the parent that has ABSOLUTELY NO LEGAL RIGHTS OR CUSTODY since she was arrested for her 4th DUI on the day she was suppose to appear in court for her 3rd DUI.

And of course, she signed it MRS :: complete with an underline ::

So.. am I the only one who read that as a “FUCK YOU”?

So right then and there I was done trudging the uphill battle for these kids and their future. If she wants to be mother of the year.. then have at it. She can do the homework.. talk to the teachers.. volunteer at the school.. do all the things that she will surely tire of after the novelty wears off or when it begins to infringe on the things she wants to do OR when she just gets tired of doing it.

I emailed Spaz’ teacher who is VERY AWARE of the situation :: she was his teacher when the crack whore went to jail :: and basically told her that even though it isn’t my intent to put her in the middle, she needed to be aware of any situation that was going to cause Spaz to act out in class. I explained why I was removing myself and that she was going to be dealing with the crack whore. I explained that it may be conceived as throwing Spaz under the bus but it has to be the way it’s going to be.

On the drive into school, I explained to Spaz that he can’t just let the crack whore sign his paper.. that his father has to see it too. He said that he forgot and then I went on to explain to him that he can go over to her crack den after school to do his homework and that she will be the one that deals with his school and stuff.

He asked why and I explained to him that even though I never talked bad about her to him, she seems to have issues with me. He said he knew.. that she tells him things. I told him that he didn’t need to either listen to them or feel as though he has to choose.. that I am here for him no matter what but that right now, she wants to control certain things and I’m tired of the constant tug of war with her. And maybe.. maybe.. this time she’ll step up to the plate and be the mother she wants to believe that she is.

I didn’t say it to him in those words but you get the drift.

So I drop him off and head to the shop .. kind of emotional because I know that this is NOT in the kids best interest but wrestling with the fact that I’m the only one who seems to have their best interest at heart and tell Chief about what happened.

His face gets all twisted and torqued and he tells me that I should still do what I want to do and I tell him that I can’t. It’s self preservation time and if truth be told.. THIS is probably the reason why all his other relationships’ failed. He said something about whatever not being a competition and I told him that I’m not the one competing for anything.. that the crack whore is. All in all, he told me that I was doing the right thing because the kids are at the age that their going to have to start learning for themselves the kind of person she is the hard way and all we :: read ME :: can do is be there to pick up the pieces.. again.

Not two hours went by when the shop phone rang and it was Spaz’ teacher calling for Chief. Spaz was acting out.. refusing to do his work.. saying that he hated everyone.. and generally being uncontrollable.

She put Spaz on the phone and Chief told him in no uncertain terms that he was not going to tolerate this behavior anymore and that he was grounded.. no computer.. no video games.. etc.

I felt horrible because it felt like I set him up. By having the conversation with him like I did in the morning, it affected him in a bad way and because he does have issues and baggage I feel like it was my fault.

I told Chief about it and he said that he knew this was going to happen.. but didn’t think it would happen THIS soon. I told him that I didn’t say anything to Spaz that was negative and in fact, made it seem like a positive thing that the crack whore wanted to be more involved in his school.

Chief said it wasn’t me.. he knew that SHE being involved again was going to cause a problem.. because it ALWAYS causes a problem and because she’s so fucking confrontational about everything and doesn’t want to do what’s best for the kids, the suffer for it.

Seriously… you want to buy them things? Great.. but shouldn’t you ask what they need? Shouldn’t you confer with their father about purchases like a laptop for a 14 year old? What are you really teaching them? That rules don’t count? That you don’t have to work for anything as long as there is someone who will get it for you? :: Well.. that is how SHE lives after all :: Isn’t it ever parents goal, biological or step, to have your children succeed and surpass you in life?

I have to be honest.. I didn’t feel that bad about it after.

I know.. deep in my heart.. that everything I do for the kids is for their best interest and future. I know that it also puts the burden on me to always do the right thing when no one else it. But for now.. and maybe this is a risk that is going to burn me in the ass.. I think the BEST thing for them is let everything blow up around them so that Chief will see that the way he does things isn’t always the best for them.

We’ll see..

But as of right now, Spaz should have been home from school. He isn’t which means because of his punishment, he is probably at the crack whore’s. Which means.. that he is telling her about our conversation this morning and Chief should be getting a phone call… right.. about… now.

I’ll keep you posted.

Good morning friends.  Generosity is liberality in spirit or act.  Sharing the blessings we have is a good thing.  By being a generous person we will make others happy.

Most of us were taught that generosity is about giving freely, and putting others’ needs before our own. While there is nothing wrong with this definition, it remains somewhat incomplete. To think of generosity only in terms of giving can limit us.

Being truly generous is as much about being open to receiving graciously from others. Allowing the other to ‘give’ to us whether it be a compliment, an act of kindness, emotional support or even material help in times of need is, interestingly, as much of an act of kindness as extending ourselves to give to others.

Correspondingly, we need to be aware of a possible ‘greed of giving’ that can sometimes be a thinly disguised power trip! It’s time we began to understand generosity as a kind of two-way street.

With all the talk about how “selfish” we are today, it’s pretty amazing to see how many people have real difficulty being able to receive.

There may be at least four reasons why people have trouble receiving. Maybe they simply haven’t learned how to graciously receive a gift or assistance from another. Or it could be that they don’t want to feel under obligation to the giver. It’s also possible they consider receiving a weakness, and want to always come across as the strong or defining part of a relationship; to receive, for some, is to acknowledge that they have needs, or are vulnerable, and they find this very hard. Or perhaps, most sadly, they don’t feel they deserve what they receive.

Unfortunately, all of these reasons quite self-centredly put the focus on the receiver, rather than on the joy of the person giving the gift. It helps to recall the joy we feel when we ourselves give ^ and to allow others opportunities for experiencing the same joy.

by francy Dickinson                      www.seniorcarewithspirit.com

Dear Francy; My mother seems to be going into a deeper depression. She seems to be recovering physically well from her last small stroke, but she is just not herself. She feels down and not involved with everyday life. I am having a problem with her paying attention to what the day is or what food she wants to eat. How can I bring her around?

I am sure you have spoken with the doctor about her depression, that is a part of the brain that is also effected by the stroke and special medications can be prescribed to help her with her mental state. As the brain repairs it has to be exercised just like you are doing with her body. So you will have to make sure you participate in her emotional wellness as well as how well she walks or talks as she recovers. Even if you are talking to her over the phone each day, or in person, you will be doing a few things that will involve her mind and emotions so she gets back into life with her body and mind.

Here are some tips:

1. Your interaction with a recovering stroke victim is in the morning or in the afternoon after food and a nap. So you get them fresh, it will be up to you to arrange your own schedule around that time frame.
2. When speaking to the senior, use an up tone in your voice so they can see a difference in an everyday conversation, and an animated conversation. As you would a very young child of two or three, use words and facial expressions that include smiles, laugh, questions, and surprise.
3. Prepare yourself with a list of things to talk about and always start with the day of the week. Endless days mean losing interest. “Hi Mom how is your Tuesday morning going?” That is a good way to begin, not to challenge her with a question that she can fail at the answer like “What day is today?” – Start with a positive statement that will inform her. Then go over what you know to be her usual Tuesday tasks. “I know you will be doing your wash this morning do you have it in the washer already? NO, well you can do that when we hang up and today is your day to see your friends for cards. What are you going to wear? –who is going to pick you up? OK, good well you’re going to have a busy day. I will let you go so you can finish your washing and getting dressed for the girls. I will call you this afternoon, when do you think you will be back home again?”
4. Taking information you have and making sure it is restated and then adding questions that are easy for her to answer is how you begin. When you call back in the afternoon, you will ask about her food for that evening and suggest a TV show that is coming on that you want to watch and you will call her just before it begins to remind her so she doesn’t miss it. Ask if her wash is in the dryer and how the card party was with the girls, stretch her mind with asking about what she ate and who won at cards. Ask over anything new with the girls. Get her to talk about things that are up front in her brain. Bring out more than yes or no answers, with an upbeat voice again, ask about what the girls were wearing or where they went for lunch. Push her brain, push it in the direction that she has always had interest in, but know when to be calm and listen.
5. When she does something more the normal daily tasks, make a big deal out of it. Let her know you are proud of her. “Wow, mom you did the wash this morning, had lunch out with the girls and then you came home and went over the floor in the kitchen? You are really on a roll, good job” – “You have gotten so much done and I have just been here at work all day, I’m impressed.”
6. When you go over to visit and you see the house in a mess…remember her mind has to learn how to organize again. So roll up your sleeves and get one room done at a time. Find small clear plastic boxes that are easy to carry and fill them up with like items and then use a large print label maker to mark them. Just like you did for your toddlers when they had so many small toys, cars, crayons remember? Now it is your mother’s time to organize, vacuum bags, filters or parts in one box. Candles and matches in another. So when she is missing something and in a huff looking for it, she can open a cupboard and read the box. It helps her mind relearn how to stay organized and find things instead of being stuck inside a swirl of a mess.
7. When the mind is healing from a stroke or other trauma, or in the middle of dementia the home needs to be clear and clean around the senior. If the front room or kitchen was covered with small items art or otherwise, pack them away for a while. Tell the senior you are clearing it to prepare for the room to be painted and we will go through the box and get things back in place after the painting. Then remove the box to a place  in the garage or storage area. Look around the room and see it with an eye that could get distracted. Look again, what needs to be in the room and what is just extra clutter for the brain?
8. Example; lots of seniors have a full wall of photos of grandchildren and family members right by their TV chair so they can see it. If you look again at that wall, it becomes a maze of endless photos that have been added to over the years. So, how about picking out three or four pictures that the senior loves. Take down the older pictures, fill the holes in the wall and repaint and then put up the four larger photos in a row…so it is easy on the mind’s eye to focus on the pictures not to just see a jumble of frames. It will calm the senior’s eye and make it easier for them to rest while they are in their favorite chair.
9. Asking your mom to help you, is a great way to help her recover her old self. What did you two always do together, maybe you cooked together, or sorted clothes in the kids room, played golf, walked, or painted walls, pictures, or worked in the yard together. Plan in your mind a task that is no longer than two hours and ask your senior to help you. Have the task all planned out so the beginning and end can happen in a short time. Together you work and together you get it done. You can stand back and admire the great result together, you can talk to others about how your mother helped you finish the task when you are so short on time. You become her cheer leader over a simple task, but it gives her such a feeling of accomplishment.
10. Let go anything that no longer brings her pleasure. The brain in trauma, stroke recovery or dementia is simply changing, so if at one time your mother loved to bake cookies and now it is a chore. Let that part of your mother drop away. She will fill the void with a new enjoyment she has changed and changing is what we all do. This change was just more sudden than others.
11. Anger is an emotion that will come to you and to your mother on her recovery. My husband has his dementia moments and out of those comes so much personal doubt that anger is his way to express the confusion of his brain not responding as he wants. Often stroke patients Even those with TIA’s or baby strokes- can find words are lost to them, actions are lost, rituals are no longer there, lifetimes of interest on certain subjects have faded…it will take your own personal patience to deal with this. You can see if you can easily move them back to the once loved interest or change it into a smaller and less stressful experience. My husband used to love WWII books and would read them endlessly, now he is unable to remember enough to read, so I have gotten him into the Military Channel on the TV. It’s the same information it just comes to him in a way he can absorb and enjoy it easier than reading.
12. Even in days or times of anger…you have to stay calm. You have to back away and give them time to defuse and then re-enter and change the mood or the thought pattern so the day can go forward with joy, not stuck in anger. It takes a lot of creative thought on your part, but being there to cheer them on, will allow them to heal in a positive way instead of simply retreat on a daily basis.

I know you have had to do a lot to care for your mother. Stokes can happen in clusters, just as your mother gets well, she could be hit again. So make sure her meds, supplements and her food keeps her as protected and even in body chemistry as possible. You are the person that will give her life a guidance to calm and joy…you are giving her a gift of more than care, you are gifting her with true love. Thank you.

Please do go to my website at www.seniorcarewithspirit.com for more ideas. I have a great e-book called Care Giving 101 Workbook that will help you with giving care in your own home or in the senior’s home. It has all the basic home nursing tips and gives you ideas to support yourself as well as your spouse or loved one. These books are very popular with care givers and I encourage you to buy one so you can feel more in power of your situation as the care giver. It can be very lonely out there all alone when you are giving care – I want to make the experience more comforting for you.

I write these blogs to share information that I have gathered in my many years of care giving. I am now tending to my husband with Alzheimer’s and my books and services are how I’m able to stay at home and care for him. Thanks for all you are doing for your own loved one, blessings. francy

PS I am on Twitter @seniorcaretips and I would love to have you listen to my talk radio show on senior care issues just click the radio button on my home page. The show is on demand so you can listen whenever you have time.

In long distance relationship, you have to find the ultimate purpose why you are physically separated. You are not separated just for the sake of being separated. Its either that you have a project somewhere else and needs to temporarily relocate or it may happen that your partner is being assigned to a faraway place and needs to go there or its just simply that you both live at the far ends of the world. You have to remember that your respective worlds do not stop while you are separated. The world will continue to evolve around you.

So it is advisable that while you are temporarily separated, you need to show interest in each other’s personal and professional endeavors.

There are many ways of doing it, but based on experience, I have listed a few tips to help you realize this.

Be very supportive in each other’s endeavors. This is mandatory. You need to show interest in each other’s endeavors and aspirations for in the end, they are all for the benefits of the relationship. Every little action is geared towards the relationship.

Be very supportive and yet be inquisitive. Not only that you need to be very supportive, you also need to be inquisitive about the plans of your partner. As previously said, every little action can affect the relationship as a whole.

Praise each other for every personal and professional achievement. As mentioned in Shower Each Other With Attention, affirmations are helpful in making each other feel very important. In long distance relationship, this is one important thing you both need to practice.

In long distance relationship, distance is only temporary since you can never live in long distance relationship for the rest of your lives. In between the times when you both are temporarily separated by distance, life should continue in your respective lives.

Here you have to realize that everything you do, even minute or insignificant, is geared towards the relationship. This is very helpful in maintaining a long distance relationship because all your actions can basically affect both of you. It only means one thing: you have to be very responsible in your actions so as not to cause harm to the relationship.

It is always expected that little careless actions come along the way and these can tolerated. But if a person involved in long distance relationship starts becoming irresponsible, then he is starting to journey away from the relationship. As what I have said, focus and dedication are two important things we need to maintain in order to achieve the goal in long distance relationship and that is the ultimate reunion.

Dedication and perseverance are all what it takes to make the relationship survive. Here, little actions matter and they contribute to the whole picture. Therefore, you have to avoid irresponsible and destructive activities that will have a negative impact on the relationship.

TEARS IN THE MIND

When people lose their reason for being here, their purpose in life, they lose their heart and when they lose that they let their minds go.  They begin to fade from us even though they are still physically here. 

It is the hardest thing to believe in your heart that no one needs you for who you are and what you have to offer to people, if they would just let you. 

You begin to question what is really your reason for being here, often times deciding that you have no purpose and you are of no value to anyone on this planet. 

This is the hardest and cruelest of thoughts that when the heart embraces it causes such pain and grief deep in the soul.  For when humans believe what they decide to accept as a reality for them they can either be elevated to the greatest of heights or they can descend to the most abject heartache. 

Knowing why you are here and what you have as your greatest desire to fulfill while living is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself. 

The only gift more important is to act on fulfilling your dreams.

http://www.im-unlimited.org/

Releasing Yourself From Depression

The darkness of depression, whether imposed by will through the thoughts we harbour or by chemical reactions in the body based on emotions experienced – hence also self imposed, is experienced by the person like the heavy blanket put over you when you sleep in a cold room that provides you with the warmth and the protection of feeling safe and secure in bed so you may sleep comfortably and rest through the night.  When you feel the heaviness you learn after time that this will create a space of inviting warmth and a place where you can leave all the discomfort experienced while uncovered for just awhile while you sleep.  It becomes a place of security and somewhere you know you don’t have to examine your life, deal with the perceived difficulties of your realities or feel the exhaustion that experiencing all the emotions you have tied in to your perceived problems in life.  If you just let them go for a little bit, just a little while and go to that place of sleep and rest you know that it will be better when you awaken and you know that you will be rested and able to handle your problems with renewed energy.

But the problem with this is that it becomes a place of addiction.  Like the alcoholic or the foodaholic, or the drug addict it becomes a place of escape.  Escalating more and more as a place to go to with the beginning rationale of just one more time and then I’ll deal with it.  It will make me stronger.  It will make me better at handling it.  It will make it easier for me to handle.  Just one more time.  Just one more time.  And then it becomes more and more frequent leading to the reverse where you say, well maybe today I can deal with something.  Maybe today I can resolve this, or maybe this, or maybe this. 

And then it has escalated to the point where even going outside, or even getting out of bed is a problem.  It’s much easier to look outside the window and see the world going on around you, away from you, where you don’t have to take on the problems that you don’t feel strong enough to handle.  Which by the pure action of removing yourself from the world around you has led your perceived abilities of being strong to atrophy, dwindle and become weak in your mind.  You then begin to develop the fear. 

The fear that what if you do something and it doesn’t turn out right.  What if you do do what is needed and you fail.  Then you will escalate the process and begin to place yourself into all different scenarios and project outwards that you will fail.  And you focus on these perceived failings.  Then you may begin to think and focus on the thought that since you will fail what is the point in making the effort in the first place.  Because, after all, your home, and your bed, and avoiding people and their dramas just take too much effort and why should you care anyway.  Moving you down into a state of apathy where you begin to not care, because if you did then you might have to take action and you know you’re not strong enough to take action, so the safest surest path is to not take action, because you know you’d fail anyway – so you move yourself into a space where you can’t care because if you did then you might have to prove yourself wrong and if you did that then you might have to leave your safe warm security blanket of safety from the world and the struggle you might have to endure and fail at anyway. 

So you let go of caring.  You let go of your visions.  You let go of your goals in life and move into a space of self-conditioned, mentally justified and adjudicated rationale justifying why you’re better off where you are now.  The human nature of preservation mandates that living in pleasure is better than living in pain.  And even though when you began, your perception of pain may have been different than it is now, you have gone through a series of experiences and decisions you made from them that have culminated and accumulated over time that lead you to a place of making the decisions of what will cause you less pain and you have moved to this desirable space one step at a time.  Ending up where you may not have ever imagined or made a conscious decision to go to in the beginning.  Now you find yourself in a completely different and unfamiliar place.

It’s okay.

The best part of being a human being is that we have the power of choice.  We have the choice to decide when enough is enough.  We have the power to take control of our lives, aspects of our lives and the choices that we make that lead to those conditions.  While it may take time, determination and making a conscious decision that we find foreign to our current reality of existence, we can make choices towards living in a better mental state through the choices that we make and the results that we experience which will build up within our suitcase of achieved results.  And we can recondition ourselves to what we can, will and anticipate or expect to experience.  We have the ability to look for the black or white in the yin and yang symbol, the green or the brown in a plant, the yellow or the orange in a butterfly.  We as humans possess the ability to make a decidedly conscious choice about what we will seek in life that is around us and what we will experience and focus upon when we find it.  We can consciously choose to let something go or to harbor it and nurture it in our heart for it to fester or blossom.

So the part that is okay is that we can make a different choice about who we want to be, what we want to experience in and from life, and what actions we choose to take in reaction to the events and things in our reality that life presents to us as we exist here on this Earth.  We can pull ourselves out of the depression that we are experiencing one step and one decision at a time. 

Find the goal and determine the steps you can see right now that are necessary to get there and then choose the very first step and be brave enough to take it.  Even if that one step is choosing to make the commitment to see if you can remember to brush your teeth every morning you can do it, if you decide to.  Know what it is to begin to experience having value for and of yourself again by taking care of your body.  The simplest of things can be the most difficult at this point because you may, and most likely will, experience conflict of your mind.  You may feel as if you can hear multiple voices telling you conflicting things.  This is the voice of your rediscovered reason conflicting with the inner conditioned voice that over time you have convinced yourself to listen to. 

When you learn about the power of your mind and the conscious and subconscious you learn that there is an inner sanctum in your mind, a place where you store your memories of the experiences and results and this is where you keep safe the knowledge of what has kept you safe, happy and away from harm.  These are the thoughts that you have repeated to yourself for so long that you were able to implant them in this place by thinking them over and over again, that you accepted as those thoughts, emotions, actions and reactions you should own that would keep you safe.  And they may now be in conflict with your new rational, conscious decisions and choices. 

The challenge that you will encounter is one that has been gaining momentum and moving you in one direction.  And while you have now made the decision to go the other direction there is that speed of momentum which you have achieved that you must not only slow down, but reverse and work to get the momentum of speed going in the other direction.  And your mind is the driving force in this dynamic.

So it may begin to feel as if you are doing battle with yourself.  Know that this is to be expected and gather your ‘umph’, your gumption and strengthen your resolve to create your next reality into your new or original design and plan that you had before you entered into this space of darkness and climbed under that illusionary warm blanket, which is truly acting as a restraint and not one of protection. 

There was a time when you as a child experienced emotional and mental freedom and experienced good and happy things in your life.  There was a moment when you had hope.  There was a moment when you experienced compassion for someone or some creature in your world.  There were those times when you cried and experienced the pain that you could let go and go on.  Going on with the hope of possibility of something good or better to experience in and from life. 

You know these experiences in your mind.  Find these positive happy times in your memories, seek them out and write them down as you remember them, read them and experience these times again and begin the process of reconditioning and re-patterning your mind and what it chooses to look at and to find in and from life, your life.  Let it see the brown and the green and see them as a the whole plant, see the black and the white and see the whole symbol of yin and yang which represents the flow and the balance of all as it surges and retreats, each one seeking to find and coming level to create that balance. 

Life is about ebb and flow.  And looking at your life at this point, as you decide to bring light out of darkness to shine once again, realize that you are now in ebb.  And it is time, when you choose, to begin to flow once again and bring your light out for the world to see. 

You have the strength within you; you have the power within you.  Otherwise you wouldn’t have been able to achieve going where you are now with the power of your thoughts and the ability of choice that you have exercised over time. 

 Is it time to make a new choice for your life now?

http://www.im-unlimited.org/

Death & Dignity

As much as there is that human will to live, survive and thrive and grow, and supporting that will in others by assisting them when we can – we who have that same inner drive and desire to live, we must also come to a place in our understanding, compassion and conscious cognizant awareness that there is that moment in time where the soul is ready to journey on into its next adventure of living beyond the containment of existing and experiencing through that existence in the human body.  There are numerous occasions where people have said to loved ones, their concerned family members and friends that they are ready to go.  As part of the human’s evolution of the consciousness’ awareness it is time to acknowledge and respect another’s right of free choice to say when that time is.  While many people may remember Dr. Kevorkian I am not speaking in that sense. 

I am actually speaking to the opposite vantage.  That time when the human body is failing and the soul of the human should be preparing for its next adventure.  Just as humans don’t always embrace change, looking at it not as an adventure, so the human consciousness and belief patterns can influence not only the choices of those who could be preparing to pass on, but also those of the family and friends who don’t want to experience the loss that will have an emotional impact to them.  When death of the body is imminent, and at some point for all of humanity it is, there should be a time of preparation to journey on in dignity, love, compassion, gratitude, respect and honour of that person’s life and the contributions they and their life has had to their world and the people in it through memories, stories, wisdom and heart sharing. 

There should be a time to allow for the mending of fences – an evaluation by them before passing or journeying and leaving us whereby consolation / consoling, forgiveness and apologies given and received can be attained so their soul can pass on / travel on to their next experience of existence a little lighter.   Providing this experience to those souls who have experienced life here in physical form is one form / way of showing by example of actions taken, understanding and conscious awareness our true humanity and its power of heart and the impact we can have on our fellow human beings, whether they be family, friends or brothers and sisters by condition of race.

We have birthday parties, awards, recognition awards, graduations and all numerous forms of celebration to achievement, yet when someone is passing on to their next life it is without recognition of their life and often done with the accompanying sound of a heart monitor, with the sudden shocking jolt of a defibrillator, with a myriad of tubes plugged into the body’s orifices and veins, with foreign chemicals and drugs being pumped into the body.  They do not experience the joyous accolades of admiration, nor the congratulations of those who love and appreciate them, nor a band energetically celebrating and announcing their bon’ voyage with streamers.

What of the compassionate send off of their soul?  Allowing their mind and heart to experience some joy during the physical exhaustion and the possible physical suffering as the body ceases to operate and provide housing for their soul, their spirit of conscious existence in linear time, should be the goal, our goal to achieve for them.  Providing them with comfort and to lessen their suffering is what the physical sciences and health care profession is about.  And yet, when it comes down to extending that physical life beyond into one’s existence of pain and emotional suffering, awareness and conscious empathy should overrule the desire to prolong a loved one’s existence for selfish reasons of not experiencing loss or grief in themselves. 

The place of honouring a person’s life, and their contributions in and to their world should be exulted by the condition we provide to them during their passing, when they are ready, on to their next journey.  For life is a journey, and it is only a middle piece or segment of the string of our soul’s existence.

 Death is an important matter.  You do it only once in this life.

http://www.im-unlimited.org/

PR WEB: Men with prostate cancer often choose not to talk about their disease, even with spouses, and are uncomfortable about needing emotional support – but a nurse tells how they are okay talking to her. READ MORE>

As many times mentioned, long distance relationship is only temporary as you both can never live as a couple away from each other for the rest of your lives, unless the other is serving a life sentence.

You will have to one day find a place to settle down and start your journey together as a happy family.  Now if you both have an intention to settle down, today might be the perfect time to prepare, not tomorrow, but TODAY.

But if both of you have no intentions to settle down, then it might as well be good to be honest about it. You have to realize that time is a continuous being, and sad thing about it, we grow old with it, and we can never retrieve the lost time. However, one good thing about it is that we can look ahead and prepare for the future, and here lies the difference.

Long distance relationship is just like any other relationship, but the difference lies in its setup. Once you decide to settle down, you both need to go through a process of re-adjustment, reorientation, planning about the future, and countless individual issues to be resolved (because you had been separated for a long time). It is not advisable for you to just one day jump into one roof and start living together as a couple. Long and arduous preparation must come before it, and the perfect time to do it, if you intend to settle down, is NOW.

Also read: Know That Everything You Do Is Geared Towards The Relationship.

Weight Loss Surgery Channel has a video interview with Dr. Stephen Ritz, PhD who is based in Decatur GA and counsels patients in both the preoperative and post0perative periods of Weight Loss Surgery.

See the interview HERE>

Turn on the news and what do you see and hear?  Another robbery?  Child abduction?  More layoffs?  Plant closings?  More jobs lost or homes being foreclosed on?  It can be down right depressing to hear all the negative things going on in the world today. 

Wouldn’t it be great to hear of the good things happening?  All the hundreds and thousands of people giving of their time to feed those in need.  To hear about the father that  jumping out of a second story window with his home on fire, convinced his wife and children to jump as he told them to trust him in catching them… they all survived the fire! Wouldn’t it be nice to hear MORE of the good things people do? 

How different our world might be if we could hear about two positive stories for every one bad one!  Shifting the collective subconscious of America and the world could just make a shift in our economy, how we talk to others, our personal and professional interactions with others…. how different we might all be, how positively beautifully different we might be!

I get a warm feeling inside and my spirits are lighter when I see others doing something kind, supportive, and loving.

That’s how I felt when I watched the video “The Home Run”. I hope you give yourself the gift of 7 minutes & 14 seconds to watch and be inspired by these young women.