When is it enough? People face breakdowns constantly. Doctors force Prozac down the throats of the emotionally unstable, but who’s to say what is emotionally incorrect and correct? Most people can control how they feel overall by just staying positive, but no one does. We’re in a society where we have large groups of individuals who practice in self-mutilation, and suicide has been escalating. Why?

In a world with internet, books, and a variety of new liberties as opposed to earlier dates we’re depressed as ever. Maybe it’s the very things that connect us with people we love that are destroying us. Whenever you’re on the bus, or in a room full of people you can tune out the entire world with an mp3 player. We block out almost every annoyance in our lives, Medicine, Internet, Portable Devices… We can avoid going to a market filled with others and have something delivered whether it be by phone, or computer. In fact we’ve blocked almost every irritation from our lives that when were finally faced with one, we don’t know how to handle it.

Whenever someone says something we don’t agree with, we can simply ignore them easily. Delete their comment, ignore their call, anything. This brings me to another point, who’s a lot of people who are constantly in our life? Our friends? Most people can’t find anyone they can truly trust. Try naming someone you could completely trust with a really deep secret? Most people can’t find one person according to recent studies a lot of people don’t even have 1 person they can confide in. We have all this unlimited communication, yet we still can’t accurately communicate.

Our sense to have an actual conversation with people is collapsing, Most people are facing depression and irritable moods because of something that can be easily fixed, and demonstrated by earlier generations. Our parents and grandparents who lived in times more miserable still were happier. What is our society amounting to?

Disclaimer: Obviously, I’m talking about this from my own personal stand point but I’d love feedback. I’d like to know what other people think or if you’ve been in a similar situation. Opinions? LOVE ‘EM! Feel free to e-mail me or message me on Facebook, y’all!

So… you were in a relationship for a long while. You know almost exactly – if not exactly – what your partner likes: what really gets them going. For some reason or another, you guys break up. It’s up in the air whether or not you’ll ever get back together, but you’re amicable. You talk. You get along. You’re not bitter. You guys are friends. Best friends because you’ve spent the better parts of the last several years really getting to know each other. The question is: could you have sex with your ex and not expect anything more?

I want to say yes. I want to say that I’m just like every sex-mongering young adult out there and that I have a hedonistic desire to quench my carnal longings! Too bad I have FEELINGS. Emotions. A far larger amount of estrogen than my male counterparts. Men are so disgustingly  at ease with being able to separate love from sex and you know what? I’m jealous. I’d love to be able to just coquet around (selectively), or possibly more, with just anyone and not necessarily get attached. Wouldn’t that be marvelous?

It’s sex, man! If we’re both unattached at the time, it doesn’t seem unreasonable. I just don’t know how things will go down. You have sex, then it’s time to go? Haha. That’s different. “Oh! Well… that was great. I guess we should take you back home now…” What the fuck! I don’t know how to handle that. Is that something you talk about prior to ‘the happening?’ This is confusing.

It’s weird. How your feelings are different after you break up. Trust me, it took me some time to get to this place. This place where I’ve realized that he’s probably not the last guy I’ll ever date. We’ve talked about him wanting to (and the prospect of him) being intimate with other women – very attractive women might I add – and it doesn’t bother me; it just makes me long for my own intimacy.

For the past 3 years, he was that person you know? How do you get past that? He seems to be able to do it pretty well and that’s great for him. When am I going to get comfortable enough with someone else? I hope that doesn’t mean that what we had was meaningless (I really don’t think it was) but how else am I supposed to feel?

I don’t want to have sex with him because I want him back or because I think it will get him back. It’s just familiar. It won’t be the same but… I don’t know. I guess I just want to feel like I make someone FEEL something. Honestly, this isn’t as crazy as it may sound. I’m just thinking out loud. I don’t want to mess up our friendship or anything. I’m human, though. Haha.

So, if I think it will mess it up do we avoid the whole situation? What the hell do I do?

Thoughts? Comments? I would make this more focused but I have shit to do. I might revisit this at a later time.

I always feel like everyone else is getting more than me.

More texts.
More friends.
More boyfriends.
More admirers.
More lost weight.
More… everything!

I’m trying to get to the bottom of it. I really am! The worst thing about it is that I feel pathetic. Pathetic because it seems like the problem always comes back to me. The common denominator in all of your issues is YOU. I assess the situations; individually and as a group. Damnit. That’s so true.

I just can’t imagine that all of this lacking is of my own doing. So maybe I’m not doing it. Maybe I’m being some way? Sweet Mary and Joseph! Now I’ve got to change my whole person!

It’s like whichever way I turn it, I’m doing something wrong: and I can’t fix it! It’s just failure after wrong after attempt after nothing and I’m getting nowhere!

I’m honestly starting to believe that I can never be happy with myself. I can be happy for my friends and my family. I’ve got support and words of encouragement for anyone that needs it. I know exactly the right things to say to make other people happy or at least make them feel better than they did when they first came to me.

Who. Is. There. For. Me? I’m not saying that no one is there. I’m not saying that no one tries like I do. I guess it really is just me.

I’m thinking about going back to taking anti-depressants. I’m not sure that people being there for me is going to be enough anymore.
If you catch my drift.

This is scary and I feel alone. Alone surrounded by people who constantly tell me that they care. I just can’t accept that. I don’t know how.

Trust me. I want to feel like you all love me.

It is good that we take the time to connect with others
with family and foster connection
relationships based on love
it is necessary in healing who we are as a whole
it is necessary in expanding our experience of love individually
it is for the best and highest benefit of both the whole and the individual
where there is separation, resentment limitation and lack of love
there need be forgiveness and expansion
moving out on faith with pure love
knowing that source will heal what needs be healed
if we act as vessels of this love
forgiving and seeing all without fault
yes
this is the love we are sending out throughout the world on a daily basis
this is the love we are focusing your attention on each day
to remind you of how powerful you are
how amazing and beautiful your love can be
how easily you can heal the world by healing yourself
by forgiving yourself
and extending that same love and compassion to others
it may seem easier to forgive others however
true forgiveness starts within and extends beyond
it is hard to see the resentment
the lack of love
for yourself so it is just as hard to see where you hold resentment
or withhold love from others
once you begin to go within and dissolve the blocks the resentment the body holds on to
the pain and frustration
pressure and dis-ease that your body stores that your mental physical and emotional bodies store
you will allow love to flow freely
allow source energy to expand within you and move outside of you
through you within you and heal all around you
for those who are willing
this path exists and it is a rewarding
fulfilling path indeed
know that you may be this vessel whenever you choose

it is a matter of practice, discipline and commitment
focus attention
all the things we have spoken many times before
it is simply a matter of you deciding now to dedicate your focus from moment to moment to being love
to growing and expanding
yes this is the path of fulfilment the path of abundance the path of a truly rewarding life on all levels
rewarding to your mind body spirit
to your soul
know that you are called to be a light not because you must but because you have the opportunity to experience real love
the only truth that lasts
and so it is

- Morning stream of consciousness writing from John Stringer

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I won’t say the past few days have been an easy ride for me. I’ve been struggling getting over what happened last week and the knock on effects it has had on me and my mood has been difficult.

I had plans yesterday to go and meet up with J in Warrington as it’s been ages since we have caught up for a girly natter and lunch. Well actually it since the PC tour in Stockholm and of course we all know how much has happened to me since then. I had thoughts and ideas of cancelling after Wednesday but I know how much J was looking forward to seeing me again and I felt it would be good to get out for a day and so I went.

I’m glad I did in the end. It was great to catch up with J and I finished the Christmas shopping off I had to do in Warrington, we had a lovely lunch and then headed back to her’s in Runcorn for a few hours. I even managed to finally catch up with her parents who I’ve not seen in ages. Her mum is fabulous, the first words she said to me when she walked in J’s room made me smile, I can tell you! I didn’t get home till gone after 7pm and they offered to let me stay over which they always do but I declined on this occasion – they are simply too kind! It was a nice day and made me realise a thing or two about myself.

The plus points of Warrington and Runcorn was I finally managed to finish my Christmas shopping, spent a small fortune on clothes and just generally enjoyed myself with a friend I’d not seen in ages! Does anyone wish to offer to wrap up my Christmas presents?

Today me and dad went to a special church service this afternoon at one of the local churches in our area. We got the invite a few weeks ago. It was a special advent come memorial service for people who had died from the local churches in our area over the past 12 months. I have to be honest I said I would go but wasn’t particularly looking forward to it. My mood changed again today I seem to have hit a bit of a rollercoaster, the whole having to sit through a church service and hear how much we are going to miss our loved one at this time of year is something I don’t need to be reminded about, I get reminded about it every minute of every waking day and especially at Christmas when I am present shopping and the one person I want to shop for I no longer can.

In all honesty the church service was not too bad, it was actually rather nice, there were no tears from me, I struggled in parts to hold them back particularly in the sermon which ironically it felt like it was almost written for me in places. The vicar who read it was from one of the churches I’ve neven been to before and so I’ve never met him before. He started the sermon by talking about how major changes in our lives happen when we experience grief and how when he experienced grief he took a major career change and went from being a psychiatric nurse to start training to become a vicar – well I just looked at my dad and he look at me and I just smiled… what can I say to that! The more he talked the more I realised that everything that has happened this year in my life has produced changes that has put me on the path I am on now. It might sound like a crazy stupid clichés to some people, especially those who don’t know me well enough but it’s reality to me and for that reason I am going to let the past few days be a small blip in the rollercoaster of what is my life.

Christmas is going to be hard, maybe the next few months are going to be even more exceptionally hard. I miss my mother like crazy. After all its approaching her first anniversary early next year but those who follow this blog know how this time last year most of my time was spent at the hospital with her not knowing what was happening, pending surgery, cancer, dialysis, tests – I watched her waste away before my eyes with the uncertainty of what was going to happen but I always knew in my own heart that last Christmas was going to be our last, call it a sinking feeling, despite the fact she died three months later in March I just knew – just as I think she did.

I’ve wanted to write something for a while on how I have been feeling and how much I really miss her. I spontaneously burst into tears on the bus going to college or coming home when I find myself thinking of her. I still grieve I know it’s perfectly normal and that the grieving process can take up to two years but I try and pretend everything is okay. I guess what happened last week just triggered a few things in me maybe for me to be a little more honest and say that sometimes everything is not always okay and it’s okay for everything not to be perfect.

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.

-Dalai Lama.

What does compassion mean? it means to be compassionate to all including self.

For those of us striving to be more conscious in our actions, and perhaps, more spiritual, the task requires compassion as well. But compassion does not mean becoming a “door mat” for someone to walk all over you. Yet this is often the case.  Rather, compassion means creating a mental and emotional space in yourself to allow other people to be themselves, even if you don’t understand or agree with them. It’s not an easy task when faced with an ordeal in a relationship, or faced with fairweather friends.
*`•.¸(¯`•.•´¯)¸.•´* ♥

Compassion does not, however, mean that we let others intrude into our emotional space. Nor does compassion mean that the others count  more than you. As we grow in spiritual strength, we may find that we are no longer comfortable with certain persons or lifestyles. They do not seem to fit in with our new lives . What seemed, at one time,  to be nourishing or at least neutral, is now perceived as toxic. We are no longer comfortable with our old ideals. We have moved on.

This sometimes happens with family members, spouses and friends. I am noticing that, for many of us, this phenomenon looks like it is increasing. One reason might be that people are less stable than before. They do not hold to old values as before. Perhaps it is because things are speeding up and more seems to be happening in less time. Perhaps it is simply the price of self-evolution. As we pass over a line in ourselves from unconscious to conscious (I should probably say semi-conscious, to be more exact), we may find ourselves having to set boundaries with past relationships. This can be very challenging to say the least. For those of us caught in this dilemma, I suggest,  the book  ‘The Way of the White Cloud.’  (see below) where we see all things and all situations as essentially devoid of substance. What appears to be very real at the moment becomes only a memory. The apparent solidity of things and the gravity of a situation is actually a mirage, an illusion. Buddhists call this samsara. And we are caught up in it by virtue of having an embodiment. The art of living, from this viewpoint, is to live and take action without getting caught up in the snares of the illusion.
*`•.¸(¯`•.•´¯)¸.•´* ♥

-The Way of The White Cloud by Lama Anagarika Govinda

I’m sorry I’m bad I’m sorry you’re blue
I’m sorry about all the things I said to you
And I know I can’t take it back
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds,
and baby the way you make my world go round
And I just wanted to say I’m sorry

ijustwannatellyouthatistillloveyoudeepinmyheart

Once you read this issue, it makes a bit more sense as to why those heroes are on the cover.  Sure, this comic basically confirms the rumors of a White Lantern, but it makes sure that you’ll have fun getting to there.

This is the issue right after mid way through the crossover event which typically eases everything into the climax and then resolution nice and softly.  Well, this issue is anything but soft… and that’s a good thing (for once).

All of the heralds of the different lanterns have finally joined forces to fight Nekron which would seemingly destroy him like assumed last issue… well, it really only gives him more power.

Nekron explains that he’s the one that controls who lives, dies, and who gets to come back and when.  He then threatens to expose the Guardian’s lie (assumingly that they’re not the ones that hold balance over the universe) and within the space of a few pages, Nekron proves that he’s one badass mothafucka by re-killing all of the heroes who have ever died (Superman, Wonder Woman, Green Arrow, etc.) and turning them into Black Lanterns.  The last page ends with Nekron about to kill off Hal Jordan and Barry Allen since they’ve died before, too.

Now, that may sound surprising enough with the giant power shift… but it’s the way Nekron does it: through Bruce Wayne.  Now, the first couple issues we all thought that Bruce was going to get resurrected right away or by not getting resurrected it proves he’s not dead.  Well, Nekron pulls him over as a Black Lantern for just long enough to create emotional tethers between him and all of the heroes so he can spew Black Lantern rings at him.  The Batman reveal is completely surprising partly because of how shortly he’s used, and also because he looks completely badass in a sort of Frank Miller Dark Knight Returns posing way.

One question, how did Bruce get so many emotional tethers when he was such a hardass in life?

Now here’s some time for speculation: Bruce is technically dead in the present but lives in the past so that’s how Nekron can resurrect him… or… Nekron also controls death through time.

Also, with all of the heroes turning into Black Lanterns, it shows that being a Black Lantern can be reversible.  So, my guess is that all of the heroes/people who had their hearts ripped out and turned into Black Lanterns will probably remain dead, but all of the ones who were just resurrected may come back to life and have to deal with what their bodies and memories did while they were dead… possibly… I’m not sure.  Just speculation.

Anyway, the writing’s tight on this issue, and the artwork’s fantastic even if I’m pretty sure Ganthet and Sayd’s robes were colored differently in Green Lantern than in Blackest Night.

It’s a great comic that’s keeping up a fast pace with wonderful artwork and well worth all of your dollar.

I do wish that The Atom and Mera’s appearances weren’t so brief in this issue, though.  My guess is that they’ll play a very large roll next one, though.

pregnancy homeopathic

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That is why it is capital that you try and accept a aerial akin of affecting wellbeing during this ages aeon in your activity as this will accept a actual absolute access on your baby’s development.

Easy Accomplish To Managing Anxiety

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What a tiring long week I had this week (despite the fact tt we had PH ytd)!

Time is flying like no one’s business. Really hard to catch time to do things  I want. I need time to complete my projects. I need time to study. I need time to spend w my dear. I need time for myself. I may also need time for my family and friends. And nowadays I need time to think abt my AD.

Seriously I had lost track of my priorities. Maybe none left. It was never about me. It has always been everyone else. But wth no one knows. No one listens. No one understands. No one thinks the way I do. I am not sure which part of me can’t communicate properly or is it any words from my mouth don’t sound like words. I have no idea at all. Totally.

My nose is running the whole afternoon!!!
Cannot stand it cos I kept sneezing and sneezing non-stop!!
Had an impromptu meetup with Joanne and I’m so afraid that I might die of running nose; so I brought along 5 packet of tissues there!!!! HAHAHA. Luckily, my flu subsided after popping 2 flu panadols.

I hate it when my nose tries to run away from me.

Ah. Okay. I did try to smile for one picture. HAHA.
I’m a little tired and sick. Guess I’m going to sleep soon.

What do you do when you miss a person?
I’ll try to focus on something else instead. But at the end of the day, that something you are focusing on will end and you’ll be back to missing that person.
Every night I could have got onto bed earlier, but I stayed up just to make sure everything’s fine and safe.
It kills when you miss a person too much.

Will anyone out there think of me too? Do I have that bit of anyone’s time ?

‘Stop fidgeting!’

‘Are you done yet?’

‘Would you calm down already?!’

Those voices wouldn’t stop. They are exploding in his brain every five seconds and he loses his focus. He walks down the hall and back to his room, opens the window and lights up another cigarette. While inhaling the cold night air, clouds of toxic smoke rise in the dark. It’s his only way to put himself together. As soon as the delirium has gone for the moment, he returns to his violin and starts transposing his feelings into beautifully organized sounds. Every emotion is transported by the music that fills the room. K. frees his frustration and becomes addicted to this ‘drug’, craving for the instrument’s touch. All his being is suffocated by this passion. He entered his own dimension, where nothing else matters but his boem mind.

Later, he returns to his journal. He writes another poem, for another broken soul. His health is shaking more and more while he is giving birth to these delightful words that have the misfortune to find their meaning in a sad story.

‘This is useless!’

‘Not again…you’re pathetic.’

The voices are back. This is it. His illness is irreversible, but so is his love for an icy shadow that tormented his heart. He keeps on writing lyrics until he ends the page with capital letters:

DRAW ME WINGS AND I’LL FLY.

The next day, he was found unconscious on the floor. Near him, there was a piece of paper with a pair of wings drawn on it.

I just felt like writing something in English.

©Lorena

No serious crystal healer would deny the power of western medicine. Medical technology, especially during the nineteenth and twentieth centuries, is responsible for an unprecedented increase in the average human lifespan. While in pre-modern societies people lived around forty to forty-five years, today they are expected to reach their seventieth year and beyond, depending on the country. However, western medicine does not present concrete solutions in every problem. Especially, emotional and psychological issues are completely ignored until the pain becomes unbearable. Emotional problems do not cause only mental pain but also considerable physical disturbances. The existence of psychosomatic problems is undeniable. Heart attacks, for example, are closely related to depression. Irritable bowel syndrome, thyroid e.t.c. are directly linked to stress. Western medicine tends to treat the symptom (heart attack, colitis, thyroid, headaches) but it would consistently ignore the problem that caused it (stress, emotional problems, negative emotions). And this is where complementary holistic treatments enter the equation. Crystal healing is a powerful complementary, not alternative, healing process. It is the perfect complement to western medicine. While medication and surgery take care of the symptom, crystal therapy treats the whole person. It addresses problems at an emotional level. This way, it brings the body as well as the mind in its most perfect condition. It also works as a preventative measure. A crystal healer can and will acknowledge the physical problem before it manifests itself. On the whole, regular sessions of crystal healing can promise a happier and healthier life.

Image : http://www.flickr.com

1) think or say, "we are just friends."

If you've caught yourself thinking or saying, "but we're just friends" you are probably already in difficulties.

"But we're just friends" are four of the most dangerous words for a relationship. These words are usually said something that you know, rationalize, is wrong. Rationalization is also written "rational lies."

2) thinking and dreaming about the person more
and frequent

Ths should be a loud screamingClue. Do you think that day and dream of your normal friends that way.

3) I'm looking forward to the next time you can see,
and / or talk to the person

If you feel excitement and anticipation, an acceleration of the pulse, as you're willing to get to see this person, watch out.

4) want to tell them first, if something
done for the day

This means that this person has become your primary emotional confidant.

5) Sharing intimateEmotions

This of course follows from this person, your primary emotional confidant. Because emotional affairs can be harder to break than the purely physical, you can be caught here.

6) Sharing intimate problems

Especially dangerous if you share it, problems in your marriage or relationship with this other person.

7) You believe that this person understands you
much more than your spouse

Of course, it looks like it. This isPart of the illusion of the affair. This belief does not make you and your partner to the other person.

Keeping secrets and covering up

Secrets bond two people together against a third person.

9) Giving gifts you do not normally give a
Friend

Things to wear, jewelry and other intimate gifts come with a message: We are very close.

10) spend more time alone

I've heard so many people tell me that this was theone, that it is pushed over the edge. They had promised that nothing would happen, but the temptation and abailablity time was alone provide too much resistance.

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As I’m sitting here typing this blog, I’m thinking of the men and women out there silently suffering now.  Can it be more evident when I sit here typing this to you and he’s in the other room playing Assassins Creed II and drinking beer, that we’re living two separate lives? 

Perhaps you’re living a life of an unequally yoked spouse?  Or is your marriage  that of an absent spouse, merely the person sharing a bed?  I know of men that have been victims to the same abuse from women, men are not immune from adulterating wives, both genders suffer.   Love is fleeting on both ends, but in this case, I’m speaking from my heart and my experiences, so bear with me…

As we all meet and greet members in our church, I wonder behind how many smiles is there a soul crying out?  A heart whispering, “please help me?”  Is the hug you gave in passing to a friend the only one she’s had in weeks?  The uplifting words you share, are those the only ones she knows?  Tell me there isn’t a soul in your small group going through the same loneliness, rejection or even blatant abuse as possibly you? 

Most of us know 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

“Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs, Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails”.

Love never fails…as you read that maybe you believe as I did, that love did indeed fail you!

My first marriage was one destined to fail, I married young and without any knowledge of what it was like in the “real world”.  I loved my husband, but the rush of it was to escape my adopted parents (aunt and uncle).  Though I was already a legal adult, I was still a child seeking to do the right thing, I was very much trapped there. 

Growing up in their home, my sister and I endured many hardships.  I can remember every time seventh period came around I was literally sick to my stomach, “what would happen today, it’s friday, two days to go”.  When my peers were talking about their plans for the summer I was already hoping the next school year would come quickly!  I was the older sister, I loved my sister dearly and wanted to protect her, I tried to please them however I could, including going downstairs so my uncle could molest me.   

I’m not sure if you’ve ever heard the song by Amy Grant, Ask Me, Heart in motion CD,

I see her as a little girl hiding in her room
She takes another bath and she sprays her momma’s perfume
To try to wipe away the scent he left behind
But it haunts her mind.

You see she’s his little rag, nothing more than just a waif
And he’s mopping up his need, she is tired and afraid
Maybe she’ll find a way through these awful years to disappear…

I was in sixth grade when I heard this song and realized I was that same girl.  I have always been a bit of a fire cracker and called him out on it, with manipulation on his part and my aunt’s physical, verbal and emotional abuse I would always apologize and come back to him.  I was almost sixteen before I ever admitted to a friend what was going on and even then after CPS and the courts got involved I recanted the truth in order “to save the family”.  I shake my head today at my childhood and most of my life!

I was a Christian, I knew Jesus and I knew He was keeping me through all this.  But I definitely had a lot of growing up to do and I was very naive.  I expected the man I married to be a born again Christian, well, when my ex-husband got saved, we took off for Vegas!  I believed that since we were both “saved” we would live a “happily ever after life”. 

The beginning was a beautiful story of hope and perseverance but things did not last that way for long.   You see a few weeks into our marriage I received cashiers checks from my aunt and uncle, some of my parents life insurance policy and law suits from the car accident.  We had a nice home, new cars and it was all paid for with plenty invested for the future of our family. Yet, this was all too much for him, before I knew it, there were men in our master bathroom (I was sleeping in my bedroom) and they were all getting high. 

This is when his true colors came out and the “saved” man I knew was long gone!  My husband was an alcoholic, druggie and if you got in his way abusive.  He never admitted to any affairs but he always disappeared to the most happening clubs, (we still lived in Vegas) and there was plenty for him to do!  I wasn’t twenty-one, so I couldn’t go out looking for him, he’d disappear friday nights and appear at his work by monday morning, then he just quit working all together.  I remember freaking out in the beginning, calling all the hospitals, the jails praying he would answer my calls, that he was alright! 

I can remember taking a huge stand against this lifestyle but I had no strength, no support, I was so young and confused.  I kept praying, “Lord, change him” and how I read 1 Corinthians 13 over and over and maybe I just wasn’t loving him enough, I’d wonder.  In time I finally succumbed to the darkness all around me and I found myself dabbling in the same things as he. 

It was one day that a camcorder was pulled out at a party and I saw it the following day, sober, I saw myself!  Lost, depressed, I saw death…behind the laughter and idiocy, I knew the truth, and I gave him the chance to follow me or stay.  I left him several times and many ”changes” before I finally filed divorce.  I can remember laying on my bed holding the finalized divorce papers tears rolling down still in shock, heartache and devastation.  What had happened to us, how had we gotten here?  I even asked him, what I had done wrong, “you were too nice” he said.

Well, at this point I was serving in the Air Force and had to keep going, really in the military you don’t get the option to stay home and mope around, there’s a mission, so get up and do it!  I had believed strongly in sexual purity, and even though I felt unclean from the sexual abuse as a child, I knew I was a virgin and had saved myself for my husband.  What had he done with it?  Well, even though he denied all the affairs, he had his girlfriend living in our home while we were married and I’d always find or hear of what was really going on.  With him everything was a secret and a lie, if he didn’t respect me and I had waited for him, why would anyone else?  With that, I threw my convictions aside and hoped someone would care, I didn’t expect love at this point, why would I, afterall hadn’t everyone in my life taken what they wanted anyway?

I jumped into a couple of relationships vowing never to marry again, never to set my heart at the altar to be broken again!  What is the saying, “never say never?” 

We were living in sexual sin, I needed a room-mate to help me with rent, his lease was up and he moved in, made sense financially, I knew it was wrong, but I didn’t pay much attention to that.  Well, before you knew it, I was pregnant, followed directly by a miscarriage.  Before all this baby stuff we had already broken up once, he liked drinking and I was not choosing that willingly for my life.  But he was so charming, so slick, after the miscarriage, a dozen roses and a will you marry me?  Really?  After the miscarriage, I definitely thought, this was a great opportunity for him to leave, but here he was wanting to marry me?  Needless to say, we got married and my beautiful son was on his way before I knew what had happened! 

He promised when Noah came along things would change, he’d quit drinking and smoking, this was his last “hoorah”.  I can remember one night when he was drunk and I was out of patience, standing over his side of the bed and pregnant, he backhanded a beer bottle and it smacked my stomach, how I prayed Noah would be fine.  Well, as I’ve mentioned in a previous post, Noah’s two years old now.  I’d like to tell you things are different that he kept his promise, he quit drinking and smoking, that we are a perfect little family.  That would again be, the fairytale ending I so desperately would love to tell you, but the truth is he is the same.

After a tour in Iraq I was sure, after seeing life and death, having his life threatened, that he would come back to G-d!  No, actually he came home more angry and abusive.  Very forceful and controlling of everything.  We’ve had many altercations where he’s grabbed me, or pinned me down, cornered me so that I can’t get away, and I will admit I’ve even fought back, which he uses still against me.  It’s just like childhood again, except I’m an adult, I have free will to leave, and here I am remaining, hoping G-d will grab him up! 

You see when I was pregnant with Noah we attended a service and the pastor asked, “are you ready to walk”.  Yes I was, I was sick of all the anger, hate, and trash I was holding in and allowing to eat me up.  I was tired of carrying it all on my own and I wanted better for my child.  I wanted a Christian home with loving parents, I wanted him to have everything I had dreamed of.  I looked at my husband and said, “are you ready?”  and the answer was “no”. 

Three years later we’re still here at the same place, or rather, I’m walking, well, no I’m running forward, to our Lord, I’m teaching my Noah about all the great gifts our Lord has for Him, His love and mercy!  I’m wondering when my husband will be ready, will he ever walk with us?  I can tell you so many times I’ve been ready to leave, to take Noah and start our lives new, a healthy and happy home, and I share this with my husband and do you know his answer, “I know”.  “I know”, does that mean you don’t care, that you want us to leave?  What does that mean?  I walked him through the sinner’s prayer almost a week ago, in hope, prayer and supplication that there would be a radical change, that I would see Jesus in him, and yet, no change. 

So, as I pray, I keep saying, Lord, what should I do?  Do you still hold me to this loveless marriage?  In another marriage of alcohol, abuse and adultery?  Lord, are things going to change here, or is it time for Noah and I to leave?  I feel a great responsibility to remove Noah from this situation, look at my childhood, can you understand why?  Yet I still feel that G-d can save this marriage, G-d can do a work in him!

For now, I just keep giving it back to Him, keep praying, keep fasting, keep offering my husband back to Him, asking to see His way, asking to know what to do.  I have hope in Jesus and complete trust, whatever it is, I know my Lord has carried me through the clutches of hell and brought me through and back to Him.  I know man’s love may be failing, may be for a season, but I now know that I seek His love and not that of a man. 

Matthew 5:3-11

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.  Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.  Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.  Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.  Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.  Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.  Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.  Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.  “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.”

You see my friends, the Lord sees our hearts, He knows our pains, give Him your burdens, allow Him to carry you through, one day at a time and you’ll be amazed where He’ll take you.  May you be found blameless before our Lord, seeking His ways and in Him may you find His blessings!

1. I’ve not been a good friend.
2. I’ve not been a good friend.
3. I’ve not been a good friend.
4. I’ve not been a good friend.
5. I’ve not been a good friend.
6. I’ve not been a good friend.
7. I’ve not been a good friend.
8. I’ve not been a good friend.
9. I’ve not been a good friend.
10. I should have told you the truth the moment I knew it.

No one likes to be sold to. If you are in business and you survive by, well, selling things, that’s a problem.

It’s one of life’s great ironies that the people we hate the most are salesmen, while the people we love the most also happen to be salesmen.

Of course there are lots of different kinds of sales. Some sales, for example, are done by people. People who are good at it make you feel like you’re their best friend among their large group of super cool friends and that they’re really hooking you up. The stereotypical bad ones make you want to call the cops, and they may even reek of tweed and old cars.

Other types of sales are done by people in little rooms that hide behind pretend people who also make you feel like you’re their best friend among their large group of super cool friends and that they’re really hooking you up. You will find countless examples of this behind some of our most coveted brands:

• Apple
• BMW
• Coca-Cola
• Disney
• Harley Davidson
• Mercedes-Benz
• Nike
• Starbucks
• Target
• Volkswagon

Don’t confuse my habitual snark to mean that I think selling stuff or advertising is inherently bad. While “sales” is nearly a four letter word in many circles, the fact is it’s everything. To build on that, when it comes to effective sales, communications and perception are everything. The reason we tend to confuse good salesmen, of any variety, with friends is because they make us feel cared for and like we’re part of something important; something that defines us. I think great brands work because they are great salesmen of great experiences.

Successful sales is really just dating. Some are good at getting a large quantity of dates, some are good at getting quality dates, some are good at getting steady dates, and some are more acquainted with rejection and video games. Often, much of the success in dating has more to do with how you come across to someone than the real value you bring to the table, at least initially. While a real, long lasting match happens on deeper emotional levels, the power of image and association has incredible power over people’s ability to reason clearly. No one likes to admit it, but it’s true. Any business that fails to acknowledge it, on some level, is doomed.

It’s not all phony superficiality. General standards of grooming and hygiene say a lot about a person. So does being on time, fulfilling a commitment, or going the extra mile. All factors of presentation and experience play into the critical concept of building a successful brand. It’s all about what people understand you to be and how they perceive that their association with you will benefit their lives.

Love it or hate it, success tends to follow those who looks best in tweed.

Here are Ways #s 4 and 5 from the last post which promised you 5 Ways to Be More Great-full (Boost Your Gratitude Attitude)…

#4: FAMILY (or couple’s) GRATITUDE BOOK
We just spent a very pleasant hour doing this great art & writing interactive project. So simple and yet so meaningful and fun! Quality family time!

We do not watch television, nor do our children. We are dedicated to parenting consciously and strive to support a vibration of love in our household. Yet, given that my husband and I are both entrepreneurs, with seven businesses between the two of us, and given that our children are still quite young, we know how important and sometimes challenging it can be to come up ideas (not to mention time, energy and materials) for positive family experiences.

I myself am about the least craftsy person you will ever meet and can draw a stick figure on a good day! So believe me when I tell you: Yes, you CAN do this project, and probably with what’s already available in your home. It really ranks high on simple, high on fun, high on memorable, and low on expense. (I can NEVER do those Origami things, puuleeeeeazzze, can we talk?)

Thanksgiving weekend is the perfect time to do this Family Gratitude Book…but of course so is any day that ends in “y.” Monday, Tuesday…. Enjoy!

Materials:

All you need is:

Some blank paper (we used printer or copy paper, white)

Construction paper

Ribbon or brass brads to secure the book

Markers, pencils, hole punch and/or scissors

Optional: Stickers, stamps, other art supplies, scrapbook, photos

Definitely: A little bit of time and lots of love!

We started by making a brainstormed list of everything we are grateful for. You can do this any way you like; follow your own creative impulses & inspiration. We have four family members, so I decided to color code what we wrote on this collective page or you could just all write and draw without attributing who said/drew what, or make a chart, have sections of the page, etc. The things my 6-year-old called out first were written in yellow, my 10-year-old chose blue, I picked purple and my husband green. We made a color key on the page and wrote and drew various things we are thankful for: Our dog came first, followed by a lovely torrent such as family and friends, food, a good home, music, the Earth, music, health, God, life and so on.

Then I gave each family member a separate page on which to do whatever they like, the only requirement being that whatever is on the page relates to or represents what they are thankful for. We stuck in some more blank pages, so we can add more later as we are inspired.

The kids each got to pick a color for the front and back covers. The older did the words, the younger did the drawings. We punched holes, added brads, all signed the masterpiece and voila! A Family Gratitude Book.

Not only a wonderful way to spend part of our Thanksgiving Day, but a precious keepsake, and, I trust, a new family tradition as well. We will be sharing this book with family all weekend long and inviting them to add to it as well. And of course, it can be done any day! Every day bears its own gifts if we just open the package.

Today we focused mainly on what we are thankful for in our current lives (now), but we could also include wonderful memories (past) and gratitude for all the blessings on the way! (future)

Alternative for Couples: You can also do this as a Couple’s Gratitude Book or Journal, a beautiful way to show appreciation and deepen connection. So few marriages last or are happy, as we all know, and I am blessed to have a deliriously, deLIGHTfully ecstatic marriage, 12 years strong and better every day. One of the reasons is of course, the selection of the right mate; but in order to do so, we had to do the necessary self-healing and inner preparation to bring whole, healthy individuals to the relationship. Much of this work is presented in my book: The Radical Self-Love Workbook. But it is also essential to nurture even the best of relationships, and my husband and I do so daily in many creative ways such as this.

More tips on love and relationships are at

www.LoveandSpirit.org

and at my love blog: loveandspiritblog.wordpress.com.

Whether you do the Gratitude Book as a homemade book like we did today, like a scrapbook or journal, and whether you do it as a family activity or a couple’s relationship-enhancer, it will help you see your life through the eyes of love and gratitude, and bring you even closer with those you love. Enjoy! And I welcome you to send me a comment or email to share your experience.

#5: Honor the 4 Directions and 4 Sacred Elements:

Earth, Air, Fire, Water

You do not have to be Native American to appreciate one of their traditions, which is to honor the Medicine Wheel, facing each of the four directions, thanking each one for their gifts. This is also a tradition in all indigenous cultures including pre-Christian Europe (a.k.a. Wicca, Druidry, paganism, et al.), Africa, Australia, Hawaii and South America.

In fact, if you scratch the surface beneath contemporary religions on any part of the Earth, you will find an ancient shamanic tradition that honors all the directions and all of nature as sacred.

All things follow this cycle of birth, growth, fruition and quietude, whether we are looking at seasons, a lifespan, a day, or a garden. The beauty of Medicine Wheel ceremony and the paradigm itself is that it can be applied to our lives in so many ways.

So how do you honor the directions and elements, to give thanks for what they give to us so generously? Here are a few ideas:

* Altar: Create an altar to each direction or a Medicine Wheel altar encompassing all the directions/elements. This can be in your home or outside. My husband specializes in creating Medicine Wheels as a sacred practice on the land, and has helped others to do this as well.

* Cherokee Dance of Life – You would need to learn this in person from someone who has learned it, oral tradition. This is an incredible moving meditation to all 4 directions, peoples, and elements which also honors Mother Earth and Father Sky, balances their energies as sacred partners in our hearts, and helps us give away the gifts of Spirit that are our special medicine to share with the world through our right work and service. Occasionally my husband and I share this Dance with our community. If you live near Sacramento, and would like to experience this dance, let us know so we can invite you. Or perhaps Spirit will guide you to another teacher of this beautiful tradition.

* Drum, chant, play flute to each direction

* Give offerings such as cornmeal, tobacco or sage smoke to each direction

* Speak aloud from your heart to each direction and give thanks

* Sweat lodge

* Vision quest

If you do either sweat lodge or vision quest, please do so with the guidance of a Native elder to be sure you do it properly and safely.

* Journal or journey (shamanic meditation) to discover what power animals comprise your personal Medicine Wheel of your own energy field. I love to lead these meditations when I am called to do so. Honoring your own inner Medicine Wheel supports a strong aura and keeps you connected to your spirit guides, if this resonates for you.

Associations with Each Direction

Depending on which culture or even which tribe you consult, there are somewhat different associations with the directions, colors, elements and meanings, the medicine or power that direction helps us receive and embody. The one I am most familiar with follows but this is not dogma, merely a summary of what I have found to be the more universal associations. Follow your own heart and work with any spiritual practice in the way that resonates for your own heart and inner truth.

While I have a small amount of native blood, I was adopted and was not raised in that tradition. I discovered shamanism after my initiation and spiritual awakening 15 years ago. I do not claim to be a tribal elder or teacher of any one tradition. I am an interfaith minister, meditation teacher, hypnotherapist, energy healer and intuitive life coach. I have been on the path of Spirit, studying, practicing and sharing healing and wisdom teachings from many cultures for several decades, so I offer here a simplified summary as a starting point for your discovery journey. You would do well to study more in depth with a local teacher steeped in the particular tradition that calls to your spirit, and of course feel free to research further on the Web, in books, classes, and listen to your own inner guidance. I always say the best way to pray, do ceremony or ritual is the way that feels best to you, with harm to none, of course. But we do need to honor the specific traditions so they are not all diluted through multiculturalism.

From the East we have the yellow people (Asia) and the gift of Air, Brother Wind, clarity of vision, inspiration, the new day, new beginnings, establishment of purpose and intention, and springtime.

From South, we receive the wisdom of the black people (Africa), Fire. The tools, strength, perseverance and energy to follow through and manifest, midday/ noon, summer, also humor and passion, innocence and trust.

The West gives us the culture of the Red people (such as Native Americans), the setting sun, Water, emotions, the fall season, self-evaluation toward completion, looks-within time, peace, rest and healing.

And the North represents the White (European) people and all their cultural gift. The sacred mountain, winter, midnight, time to slow down, go within and be still to receive guidance for what comes next. Completion, what you keep from the past cycle and all that you have accomplished and learned. It is also associated with the Spirit and wisdom.

Note: You can also honor the other 3 directions: Earth (below), Sky (above) and Center (within).

I hope you enjoyed these five creative ways to give thanks and I wish you abundant blessings on your journey!

Finally, in the spirit of Sufi mystic poet Rumi, I invite you to kiss the ground. Blow kisses to the sky. Bow to everything. Everything is sacred.

With Love,

Sage

More resources for your path, including free special reports on abundance, love, transformational classes, soul and energy healing sessions, intuitive readings, matchmaking and more are at:

www.LoveandSpirit.org

Taylor@LoveandSpirit.org

“Let the beauty we love be what we do.

There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.”

- Rumi

October was but the music still lives on. Holding on to the present I traveled to the past and immersed myself in a pool filled with Soul music. Everything makes sense now. Enjoy these bangers and future classixxx and remember to spread the love.

Click on pic for download.

TRACKLISTING:

Happy Thanksgiving!

“The eye, altering, alters all.” – William Blake

I recently saw the movie Up with my family and we were touched by the sweet message that it is the most simple moments that have the most meaning for us. I call those moments, like when Russell sits on the curb counting red and blue cars with his dad and then with his new (grand)father figure at the end of the movie, the “pearls on life’s necklace.” Individually, they are precious and delicate, yet strung one after another, they form a true treasure.

In an earlier post, I shared several reasons why it is so essential to enhance our gratitude attitude. So now, as promised, here are some fun, practical ideas for how to become even more grateful (great full), how to count more of those pearls and value them with your heart, while they are in your hands:

1. My Feet Touch the Earth.

A Native American custom is to give thanks to Mother Earth each morning upon rising, when your feet first touch the floor or ground. This helps us remember that the land we live upon is alive and sacred, worthy of our deepest respect and greatest appreciation. It also helps you receive her bounty, through food, health, abundance and every good thing you can touch or experience through your senses, and to feel more grounded and “in your body.” Another thing I love about this practice is it takes zero extra time; it’s just a shift in consciousness, and isn’t that what we are most striving for?

2. Write a (different kind of) Thank-You Letter.

Well, you already know about the traditional thank-you-for-the-gift kind of letter. I believe it’s on the Endangered Species List. (When’s the last time to sent or received one of those?) I highly recommend we resuscitate these as they bring and spread so much joy, especially the kind of letters, cards and notes you can actually…what’s that called?….Oh, yeah, TOUCH with your actual hands and reread over and over without having to go online. What a concept!

In addition to writing to give thanks for specific gifts or favors you have received, I propose you explore writing Thank-You Letters to:

* Your loved ones…just because

* Yourself

* God/The Universe

* Your Body

* Money

* Your Ancestors

* The Earth, Air, Fire, Water, Sun, Moon, Stars…

You see, the possibilities are as infinite as your abundantly grateful heart.

3. Take a Gratitude Walk.

Dedicate a walk to the awareness of thankfulness. This is a walking meditation and is best done in silence or punctuated only with your statements of appreciation or a simple mantra such as:

* Thank you, God, for all that is.

* Right here, right now, beauty all around me.

* I give thanks.

* I am thankful.

Your gratitude mantra can also just run in your mind without being spoken aloud. You can rhythmically coordinate the mantra to your steps, or not; follow your own guidance and what your body tells you to do.

Another option is to think or praise something with each step or everytime you notice something you are thankful for, such as: “Thank you for my feet that I may walk. Thank you for these trees I see…. Thank you for the air I breathe. Thank you for my children (husband, wife, etc..). Thank you for my home. Thank you for my dog. Thank you for my car. Thank you for my work. Thank you for music….”

While you are walking, you may give thanks for gifts from Spirit which you can see and hear and touch in the present moment, or other blessings in your life, counting your pearls, but the key is to keep every step, every breath, every moment focused on hearful, mindful appreciation.

This is an excellent exercise which combines nourishing your body through the movement itself with nourishing your mind, heart and soul by returning your awareness to what is precious and good, all around you and within you.

As a meditation teacher for the past 11 years, I have frequently met beginning students who lament, “I can’t meditate because I can’t sit still so long. My body hurts and gets fidgety.” Some meditation disciplines and teachers simply reply to this: “Just sit. Let the distraction of the mind chatter and body aches just fade away and just sit anyway. They are all illusions, and your mind will eventually clear as you ignore the ‘monkey mind.’”

This is true for some people, some of the time, as with so much wisdom. However, some people really do need to move more often. This can be due a medical condition, a tendency toward being highly kinesthetic, and/or a need to move energy and remember they have a body through touch and motion.

I am solidly in the latter category myself and find that I benefit optimally from a kaleidoscopic, multicultural meditation practice, drawn from Eastern and Western traditions – like the Meditation for Busy People course I designed for and taught at Kaiser Permanente. Sometimes still, some moving, sometimes silent, others with chanting or music or sacred sounds, sometimes focusing on the heart, third eye, or other chakra, other times aware of the whole body and energy field, sometimes open-eyed (gazing meditation is called “tratakam” in India), sometimes closed, focused on the inner space. Let me know if you would like to me to share more of my knowledge of meditation in this blog column. I teach many methods in my workshops, teleseminars and private practice and share them also on my meditation audios.

For whatever reason, if you do not enjoy an extended sitting meditation practice, you will likely give up on it, so I highly recommend exploring moving meditation such as Tai Chi, Chi Gun, Native American Dance of Life (Dance to the 4 Directions) and even some dynamic forms of yoga, or simply authentic body movement and dance as a meditation. Walking meditations like this gratitude walk is another wonderful way to integrate Body, Mind, Heart and Spirit, so give yourself permission to move while you meditate, and give yourself credit for “meditating” if you are moving consciously and feeling a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual benefit.

Anything you do that brings your awareness to the present moment, that cultivates mindfulness and what I call heartfulness, is a form of meditation, be it walking, stretching, drinking a cup of tea, even cooking or cleaning.

As Buddhist monk and teacher Thich Nat Hanh says, whatever you are doing, even if you are washing dishes, it is the most important thing in the world.And it can be done joyfully and gratefully. Absolutely anything and everything is a meditation when done with focus and appreciation. Right here. Right now. Love.

So I invite you to join me in striving to live Life as The Grand Meditation. The Prayer of Thankfulness that Never Ends. The moment of choice, the moment of change, the moment of power, healing and grace, is now.

∞

As for me, time to go practice gratitude with my family. Right here. Right now. We are about to create a Family Gratitude Book! I’ll let you know how it turns out, and I suspect that may become Gratitude Tip #4.

Your life can change in a moment’s notice.

And the moments you notice can change your entire life.

So, my friends, have a beautiful day…and another…and another…Keep adding to, and treasuring those precious gifts of moments of simple pleasure, in oneness, and in the company of loved ones, the pearls on your necklace of life.

With Love, Sage

P.S. Please share in comments:

What part of this article did you most resonate with?

What are your favorite ways to deepen your gratitude attitude?

And what are you most thankful for this season?

(what are some of your precious pearls)

Just click on the article title to add a comment if the box is not visible below. Thanks for visiting!

www.LoveandSpirit.org

I read this book just couple or days ago, and still feel thrilled due to the information that I got from this book.
I can’t wait to share with you all what I got from the book.

The book called “The Three Laws Of Performance” The authors are Steve Zaffron who is CEO of Vanto Group, an organizational performance consultancy, and a board member of Landmark Education. Dave Logan, Ph.D., co-founder of the CultureSync consultancy.

The chapter that I wanna share is about How A Situation Occurs Arises in Language.
This law focuses on the importance of understanding how people communicate beyond the spoken word. Body language, facial expressions and voice inflections mean as much as words. Individuals can say one thing but transmit an entirely different message through what they leave unsaid. Dysfunction is guaranteed when groups of co-workers refuse to speak or deal honestly with each other – or management – and swallow their feelings.

Opening the lines of communication doesn’t mean spouting off and expressing every thought in your head. It means speaking frankly about your concerns and discussing issues that affect performance. Bottling up your thoughts creates disorder and leaves no space for new ways of thinking. “Clearing out the clutter” is one way to open the door to better performance. Learning to identify “rackets” is another gateway to interpreting language and improving communication. Rackets are negative behavioral patterns that typically have four components:

1. A persistent complaint – “Bob never gets his assignments completed on time.”

2. A reaction – The complainer gets exasperated at the grievance or withdraws.

3. A continual “payoff” – The complainer benefits from feeling superior.

4. An emotional cost of racket behavior – Everyone is unhappy and relationships erode in the face of criticism and contention.

People engaged in rackets pretend that everything is fine when actually they lack closeness and amaraderie. Usually, people cannot identify the payoff and cost of a racket. They sense a threat, so they try to protect their territory and maintain control.

They feel they must always be right and they avoid any steps that could shift power to others. To eliminate rackets, voice the unsaid. People must examine the past and reframe the “game” to move ahead.

Read More About The Three Laws of Performance: Rewriting the Future of Your Organization and Your Life (J-B Warren Bennis Series)