There are many ways to exit a relationship. You can exit mentally by demonstration that you are preoccupied by more important thoughts. You can exit emotionally by finding somewhere else to express and experience your passion. You can exit physically by finding way and excuses for not being present. Or you can leave spiritually by removing your trust, your respect, your love, your compassion from what you do and what you say.

  Sometimes we exit a relationship because of unresolved feelings fo anger or betrayal stemming from past experiences. More often than not we exit  a relationship because we feel we are not getting the love we need. Unfortunately, we often blame the other person when our desires are not met. In reality, we haven’t asked for what we want or need.

  How often have you honestly expressed to your partner exactly what you want or why you want it? When was the last time you shared with your partner how you will feel when you get the thing you need? How can you expect to get what you want if you don’t ask for it? How can you expect to receive the things you say you want if you are not physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually present to receive them?

 There are some cases when we know without a doubt that the time has come to leave a relationship. This is not he kind of exit we are examining here. We are talking about taking your mind, your body, your hear or your soul out of where you are being loved because you are not getting what you have not asked for. This type of exit is not only self-destructive, it is a surefire way to ensure that you never get the very thing you say you want. Could it be that you really don’t believe you deserve it?

  Until today, you have remained in a relationship that you exited a long time ago. Just for today, be present enough to ask for what you want, and remain present long enough to receive it.

With love, Rochelle, author

www.rochellefoulk.wordpress.com

It’s All About Jesus!

Spirit of Prophecy Bulletin

SMALL STRAWS IN A SOFT WIND by Marsha Burns — Dec. 16, 2009:

Watch for the enemy to try to get you off-balance by pulling you in too many directions. This will happen either physically by having too much to do or mentally and emotionally. His plan is to make you feel scattered in order to dissipate your energy. Rise up against this attack and refuse to allow it to have any power over you. You can do this by deliberately spending quality time in quiet contemplation of My Word to regain serenity and balance. I am your peace, says the Lord.

John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”’

One may have awakened this morning at 3:00 AM and reset one’s alarm.  The alarm may have gone off at 3:20 AM and one may have just lain there for a while.  One finally got up and read the Spirit of Prophecy Bulletin.  It may have been past one’s start time for meeting with Jesus.  One may have been late and had no excuse.  One may have asked the Lord to forgive one for selfishness.

One began one’s special time by praising the Lord this morning with songs of praise.  One may have confessed one’s sins, thanked the Lord and prayed for the sick.  One prayed for the Lord to lead one to a passage of scripture and one may have been led to Psalms 100.

One left one’s prayer closet at 4:30 AM.  One may have logged onto the website to pray for outstanding prayer requests.  One may have felt a little pain from where one’s tooth had been pulled on Monday.  One may not have had to take any medication since having one’s tooth pulled.  Thank you Jesus!

When the dentist began to pull one’s tooth.  One may have stopped the dentist.  One may have said that one felt pain.  The dentist may have  given one several shots directly to the area and gum line surrounding the tooth.  The dentist may have begun to work on extracting the tooth.  One may have stopped them again.  One may have told the dentist that one felt pain in the root area of the tooth.  The dentist may have looked at the x-ray and then said that there was infection in the tooth and the medicine (possibly novocaine) would be ineffective in that area.  One may have said, “Well, I will just have to endure it.”

The dentist began the process again.  One began praying in one’s heart to the Lord for Him to heal the infection and take away the pain.  The pain went away so quickly that one may not be sure when it happened.  It may have been seconds.  All one may remember is that the process went smoothly from that point on.  Thank you Jesus!

The answer to one’s dilemma was to get one’s tooth pulled.  One may have been praying for divine intervention.  This tooth had been plaguing one since July 2008.  It may have been a root canal gone bad.  The tooth began to rot underneath the crown.  The crown eventually came off and the decaying tooth was exposed.

It’s all paid in full and one may have a zero balance.  One may now have insurance through an unexpected source.  Thank you Jesus!  One may have written previously in one’s blogs that one did not have any insurance and the place that one had sought to get help from, the Lord was leading one not to go through with it.

Looking back, the Lord was truly leading one.  The health insurance may not have come through the avenue that one had originally pursued.   The Lord led one at one’s last appointment with the undesired agency to leave and not return.  One may have simply missed one’s next appointment, purposely.  One may have pursued an easier avenue to the same insurance source, thinking that maybe the Lord wanted one to do it another way.  The paper work has been in for some time and one’s case may still be pending for insurance through this source.  This may not not mean that this source will not become available to one in the future.  It was the avenue that one was pursuing at that time that Jesus was opposed to.  Also, Jesus knowing all things, had a plan.

While at the dental office, one may have met an older Christian woman.  We may have shared testimonies and had a good time talking about Jesus in that place.

One may have started out with a testimony where the Lord healed one from burns on one’s right forearm from hot scalding water that occurred recently.  The nipple on a bottle may have begun to inflate.  One thought one could quickly unscrew the bottle cap to release the pressure from inside the bottle.  The nipple exploded and hot water shot everywhere.

One may not have been aware that one had been burned initially.  One may have felt a stinging sensation on one’s right forearm.  One may have looked at it and could see the patches of red where the water had hit one.

One may have showed one’s arm to one’s children while believing that Jesus would heal it.  The Lord has healed one of accidental burns in the past.  One may have prayed for one’s arm, then ran cold water over it and went to bed.  One may not remember feeling any more pain shortly after putting it under the cold water.  The next morning one’s arm was fine and there was no sign of ever being burned.  When one showered there was no pain at all.  Thank you Jesus!

The older christian women may have shared that their son had been murdered in the past.  For many years they may have carried the hurt with them.  One day the Lord spoke to the individual and said, “Let him go, he’s Mine, he belonged to Me.”  They said that they never thought that they needed to let their son go.  Once they released this grief and their son to Jesus, they felt the weight lift up off of them.  The Lord healed them that day.

After one had left the office, one may have been out by the elevators.  One’s new friend may have come out too.  They may have been unable to talk.  We may have embraced, words were not necessary.  One may believe our paths will cross again.  Thanks again Jesus for being so awesome.

The busier life gets, the more immersed in our daily ‘routines’ we become. And it is during this time that we forget to come up for air.

Perhaps this is a metro thing. Or maybe just a Los Angeles thing. But I’ve noticed people keep going, going and going on with their daily lives and routines to the point where everything becomes ‘automatic pilot.’

From the first coffee of the day, to the non-stop 16-18 hour days involving work hours and long commutes, to the weekends of pure vegetation into nothingness, what seems lost is the sense of community, sense of life and people’s true place in it. And while I am here to encourage life in the slow lane, this doesn’t mean that because you sit in traffic, you are getting the most out of life.

It was while watching an isolated turtle breathe, that I realized that there is a difference between choosing to come up for air and choosing to come out for a bit of rest and relaxation. The line is a fine line, but one that is distinct if you look closely.

Make no mistake – whether in a crowd of one hundred or sitting in a circle of five, one can feel alone. And sometimes when sitting all alone, you can feel as if you are in a crowd of one million and no one will leave you alone just to ‘be’ and give you the space and peace you need to gather your thoughts, to free up your mental space.

I believe it is essential to come up for air, but I also believe it is essential to come out for rest and relaxation. The difference is in your free will, and your willingness to allow and enable that time to be yours, to be pure, to be quality and to be present… emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.

It’s vital to be a willing participant in life in order to fully comprehend the ultimate sense of what life is and isn’t. It’s important to get alone with your head sometimes and not have the hustle and bustle of daily life rip away at your energies and sense of self. It is in this process we learn how far we’ve come, how much we’ve grown and how much more we have yet to learn.

If we don’t take this time, we become so wrapped up in our own world, we miss the world that exists outside of ourselves, the real world going on outside our car windows and office doors.

It’s also revealing and humbling to know that for the most part, certain parts of the world live life better than we do. They understand the true meaning of life is making the most of it – good and bad and mostly WITHOUT, because they don’t need anything other than a ‘time out’ or ‘time with’ and just ‘time’ to be with themselves, and with others on their terms of enjoying life. It’s about paying attention, not just paying bills. It’s about taking stock in life and those you love, not taking stock in the stock market. It’s about enjoying a glass of wine and a sunset, instead of whining about how hot the sun is.

Most of us here in America live life backwards because we’re too busy and keep going forward. And those who keep going forward are in dire need to go backward because they’ve missed what life is truly all about.

So the next time you come up for air, or come out for rest and relaxation – no matter what, take it slowly. This isn’t a speedway. And it’s important to not become obsessed with the rat race. Because in the end you’re really only racing toward death anyway.

So if you take life slowly, not only will you savor it more and enjoy it more, but you’ll see that it’s all in how you arrive at the conclusion of what life is all about in the first place… especially if you’re in last place.

© 2009 Queena Verbosity 100% Real Words
Media Monster Communications, Inc.
Stacey Kumagai

http://www.100percentrealwords.blogspot.com

http://hubpages.com/profile/mediamonster

http://www.braingasm.com

I get all sorts of queries from prospective clients.  And they ask different types of questions, like: “How do you help me?”  “Are you going to screw with my head?”  “Will this hurt?”  “Can you fix me?”  “How long will it take?”  “If I engage your services can we do

"Are you going to mess with my head?"

things a different way?”  “Why do you recommend breakthrough sessions instead of one-hour coaching sessions?” “What is it that is different about them?”  “Why are they costing so much?” And these are only a few of the questions I get asked.  And of course I answer them to the best of my ability and sometimes that leads to new clients and sometimes it doesn’t.  For some reason there seems to be a prevailing thought that we should be able to fix ourselves when things go wrong in our lives, or when we are not happy with a certain aspect of it.  Yet when we get physically sick, we don’t self diagnose and self prescribe – at least most of us don’t.  We don’t go to school and self-educate, we don’t start a new job and again self-teach.  Yet when it comes to our emotional well-being we seem to think that we can do it ourselves when we often don’t have all the tools required to do so and end up making the same mistakes over and over again.  And even when we acknowledge that we do require help we don’t value ourselves enough to spend the money it takes on it.  We will happily spend it on a family member, but not on ourselves.

If I said to you that we could work together (and you are coming into this willingly) in three sessions 2 three-hour sessions and one four-hour session

Do you want to make changes over a few hours or weeks?

and you could make dramatic positive changes to your life during those ten hours (preferably within the same fortnight) or we could work together in one-to-one coaching sessions (usually one a week) which lasts for an hour at a time where you can make small gradual changes and that that will probably take at least twelve hours (three months), which would you choose?  Most people say they’d run with the first option.  Then they ask for costs and at that point they start to talk themselves out of it.  They say that it’s too dear, or that they don’t have the spare time, or they don’t have that type of money and request the one-to-one coaching instead or don’t follow-up on it at all.  They often don’t look at the overall cost of the one-to-one coaching which is two hours longer, so will be more expensive in the long run.

What a family member of mine did when they went for a breakthrough session with an NLP Master practitioner was put the hourly rate aside for six weeks then rang and made an appointment for two weeks away so that they had all the money to pay for their breakthrough session.  And each week they said as they put the money away, “this is my big investment in

Investing in a brighter future

me, and I am worth saving for“.  It’s like saving up for a holiday, a car, a wedding, a new house, or an expensive item that we want to buy in the shops.  Yet when it comes to looking after our own well-being we find excuses to not do it.   Maybe it is because we have become so materialistic that if we can’t see it now! -it often being a tangible product, we distract ourselves with something that we can see now…and go with that instead.   What I do is very, very effective, and it’s fast!  And that can be every bit as unsettling starting out as the problems that are not being dealt with.  The changes are often like “lightbulb” moments, in that the options that are uncovered by clients are so simple, that they are completely amazed that they hadn’t seriously considered them before.  They were there, just not consciously and with what I do the client brings it into their conscious thinking.  It’s not magic, but the effects are magical.

I will often hear a prospective client tell me that they would love to engage my services for a family member or a friend, because so-and-so has a problem that needs sorting.  When asked does so-and-so acknowledge that that is a problem, the response is typically “Of course not! If they did they could fix it!“  If so-and-so doesn’t see it as a problem then it isn’t a problem, for them.  It is only a

Her loud laugh wasn't a problem

problem to the person who sees it as a problem.  A perfect example of that was a girl I went to school with.  She had a donkey-like laugh and she laughed often.  Some of her friends thought she had an embarrassing laugh, but she didn’t notice and kept on laughing.  So who had the problem?  The girl with the donkey-laugh or her friends?  Her friends did, she didn’t care, despite being told it was loud and noisy, it was just the way she laughed, they on the other hand, chose to be embarrassed by the loudness of her laugh.  The other point in all of this is that one person is electing to have someone else “fixed” to their liking, instead of changing their perspective to accept that person’s behaviours.  One of the things we practice and believe in NLP is:  The map is not the territory.   In other words people are not their behaviours, they are more than that.  When I was smoking, I wasn’t just a smoker, I didn’t stop being a mother, sister, daughter, neighbour because I smoked.   Smoking wasn’t a problem for me, until I wanted to stop and found it difficult to do on my own.  But until I wanted to change, it just was not a problem.  It is the same with your friends and family members.  I recall a few practitioners telling of occasions where clients have come to them because a family member has suggested they need to see someone to fix a certain behaviour.  And when asked how that behaviour was a problem for them, they’d responded that it wasn’t, but that XXX had said it needed fixing.  And the practitioners telling the client that they couldn’t help them, but that they could help the person who sent them instead!!   So…..are you worth it…. emotionally and financially?   How much better do you want your life to be?  What is it worth to you to be living the life you want?

We knew how much you loved Edward’s grey pea coat in “Twilight” (it was a custom design). And we bet you already own a version Bella’s blue hooded jacket (made by BB Dakota) — but with “New Moon” comes a whole new shopping list. So, starting today, we’ll look back at the making of the movie’s wardrobe with costume designer Tish Monaghan. First up: Edward (Robert Pattinson) and Bella (Kristen Stewart).

BEGINNING THE PROCESS
“There was already a particular look in place, so the first thing I did was find out from the studio and the director, Chris Weitz, if they were happy with the looks of the characters,” recalled costume designer Tish Monaghan. “Were there things they wanted changed? Once I got those instructions — there were only minor adjustments to be made.” Bella’s presentation from “Twilight” was kept consistent. “[The studio and Chris] liked that she was a tomboy and that she was in earth tones and was a little bit out of place. So I picked up on all of those comments, and when I did all of my purchasing for her, I stayed more or less in that world unless there was something specific that was required in the script.”

EVERYTHING OLD IS NEW AGAIN
During a interesting (to say the least!) double “date” with Mike (Michael Welch, left) and Jacob (Taylor Lautner, right) Bella wore the “Signe Smocked top” by Joie and American Eagle jeans. But the most notable part of her outfit is her token accessories — the turquoise bracelet and moonstone ring, which, according to Tish, were the very same trinkets Kristen wore in “Twilight.”
Get the look: “Cute Options Embroidered Smocked Peasant Top” from Target ($27)

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READ MORE…

Pesan ini hanya untukmu. Agar kamu tau betapa kamu telah menikamku, dengan arti cinta yang sesungguhnya. Merasakan kekuatan yang kau bangun sejak dalam rahimku. Menikmati setiap detak jantung kita, gerakan liarmu, dan juga tendangan-tendangan yang kau hentakkan dengan kaki kecilmu dalam perutku, hanya untuk menggodaku pada waktu yang tak terduga. Waktu seolah tak terhitung lagi. Yang kurasakan hanya indahnya kebersamaan kita, hingga kamu tak sabar untuk mengakhirinya. Aku tau, kamu tak mungkin tinggal disana lebih dari waktu itu. Dan aku pun menyadari, kamu bukan aku. Kamu akan menjalani seluruh putaran waktu kehidupanmu sendiri. Dia menitipkannya padaku, dan aku sungguh bahagia dengan kesempatan itu. Tak kan ada yang tau mengapa aku terpilih, dan tak semestinya kesempatan itu kupertanyakan. Biarlah misteri itu menjadi bagian rahasia alam milikNya. Sesungguhnya kebahagiaanku telah genap. Sejak kamu meronta dalam perjuanganmu, aku bersamamu. Begitu mencemaskannya detik-detik itu. Ajal seperti batas antara kita. Menanti kesempatan untuk menunjukkan dirinya. Namun kita tak terbendung, karena ikatan cinta kita telah menepisnya. Seiring jeritanku dan tangis pertamamu, kita menaklukkan ajal itu untuk sementara, dan menyambut benih kehidupan karuniaNya. Dalam letih kukecup kamu, dan senyum pertamaku untukmu kaubalas isak kecilmu. Betapa merdunya itu. Nada-nada kehidupan telah kita ciptakan bersama, dengan banyak peristiwa indah dan cobaan. Saat pertama kakimu melangkah, saat gigimu tumbuh, saat pubertasmu tiba. Kusimpan tangisku saat kau terjatuh, karena aku ingin kamu bangkit dengan tawa. Kupendam kekuatiran itu saat lambaianmu bersama teman sekolahmu, karena aku ingin duniamu terbuka. Kubiarkan airmataku mengalir saat kau tak kunjung pulang, dan segera kuseka serta kuganti senyum setiaku ketika akhirnya kau berdiri di depan pintu. Ingatkah saat kau bertanya,”ada apa mama?” dan hanya kecupan dikeningmu sebagai jawabnya. Itupun cukup buatmu. Hingga kamu bertumbuh dan berlayar dengan perahu hidupmu. Ketika perahumu berlalu, aku merenungi kekuranganku. Akupun seperti kamu, sayang… Sebentuk jiwa yang dapat rapuh. Seujud tubuh yang juga tak selalu sehat. Dalam sakitpun aku menangis diam. Tak kan kubagi sakit itu. Mengertilah jika aku tak mau kau manjakan, apalagi dengan kemewahan. Yang kumau hanya kesabaranmu jika aku mengeluh. Karena ini bukan salahmu. Kini aku harus pergi, meskipun aku masih ingin diam dalam ruang kecil ini. Telah kutinggalkan seluruh pesan yang belum kusampaikan padamu, untuk kautemukan nanti. Dia sudah memanggilku, dan tak semestinya panggilan itu juga kupertanyakan. Maafkan aku, anak-anakku…Jika aku tak lagi disampingmu saat kamu mengarungi samudra itu.

Dari aku yang sangat mencintaimu,

Mama.

(teks ini diambil dari sebuah notes karya Alber R Aruan)

Maafkan aku tak bisa memahami maksud amarahmu,
Membaca dan mengerti isi hatimu.
Ampuni aku yg telah memasuki kehidupan kalian,
Mencoba mencari celah dalam hatimu

Aku tau ku takkan bisa menjadi s’perti yg engkau minta,
Namun selama nafas berhembus aku kan mencoba menjadi s’perti yg kau minta

Ampuni aku yg telah memasuki kehidupan kalian
Mencoba mencari celah dalam hatimu

Aku tau ku takkan bisa menjadi s’perti yg engkau minta
Namun selama nafas berhembus aku kan mencoba
Aku tau dia yg bisa menjadi s’perti yg engkau minta
Namun selama aku bernyawa aku kan mencoba menjadi s’perti yg kau minta

Aku tau ku takkan bisa menjadi s’perti yg engkau minta
Namun selama nafas berhembus aku ‘kan mencoba
Aku tau dia yg bisa menjadi s’perti yg engkau minta
Namun selama aku bernyawa aku ‘kan mencoba menjadi s’perti yg kau minta
Seperti yg kau minta, aku kan mencoba menjadi s’perti yg kau minta

I think the mouth is like asking, “how are you now?”

It felt like once to make sure, “everything’s fine right?”

So, wants to also ask, “why it could happen to you?”

But I did not dare to say, tell, describe, my curiosity to him

How should I understand this situation?

I want to ask questions about love, maybe you are reading is more expert on love.

honesty, loyalty, acceptance, and totality. What was the thing that makes love more have lost interest? more confused about love … between belief and unbelief

nowadays, with so many distractions in the relationship between us and the partner make my views saying that the endurance of love will become weaker.

Where is the relevance? if love rule us? or we control the sense of love?

i need your view Guys!

Mariah Carey has opened up about the “mental” and “emotional” abuse she suffered during her marriage to music mogul Tommy Mottola in an explosive new TV interview. Promoting new film Precious, in which she plays a social worker trying to help an abused teenager, the pop star told CNN anchorman Larry King she’s no stranger to abuse.

Asked for her thoughts about Chris Brown’s attack on Rihanna in February (09) during a taped interview with King, which airs on Wednesday night (04Nov09), Carey told the host, “I was very sequestered, as you know, when I first started out and if I were just allowed to be young and with a young boyfriend who’s also a star… I don’t know what goes on.
“I wasn’t really allowed out of the house, so I can’t imagine what she went through.”

Asked if anyone had ever abused her, Mariah said, “Abuse has several categories… emotionally, mentally, in other ways.”

She refused to go into details, but told King she sympathised with women who struggle to break free from abusive relationships: “It’s scary. I just think you get into a situation and you feel locked in. If your situation is similar to one of the situations I’ve been in, which I won’t harp on… For me, to really get out of it was difficult because there was a connection that was not only a marriage, but a business where the person was in control of my life.”
Carey was married to Mottola from 1993 to 1998.

Je veux moi-même je n’ose d’ouvrir tous les faits à l’intérieur, l’audace de reconnaître et de comprendre la situation. vous ne vous faites pas fou. le sens où il est enterré profond vous du bonheur

turbulences dans mon cœur fait dernièrement gw torture assez, et honnêtement, mon coeur, c’est une question de certaines personnes. Anggana, Ceci est un phénomène appelé «tomber en amour

Dieu, je veux avoir une chance de ressentir l’amour de quelqu’un. et laissez-moi Dieu, je veux partager le goût, le sentiment, joie, tristesse, la haine, de ressentiment, et de partager cette passion pour la vie

I musn’t have the expectation to control or over-power the environment, circumstances or people around me. I must require control of and power over myself; physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, etc. There may be more and more accurate structuring of these, but to know and understand their function, potential, limitation, and the like, will expand my ability to fulfill and enjoy this requirement.

I wrote this review a few weeks ago. I think it’s a good review, and it will be published in the first edition of the Morpheus Tales Review Supplement. Before putting it up here I wondered how the space and distant I’ve had since reading the book had changed my opinion. Actually, it hasn’t. I think that Different Skins is an amazing book, both the stories are moving and emotion-evoking. You can’t help but be sucked into the worlds that McMahon creates, the stories actually touch you emotionally and intellectually. That’s what I look for in my life, I don’t just want to read a book, I want to experience it. That what happens with Different Skins. I cannot recommend this book enough. Go do yourself a favour and buy this book:

http://www.screamingdreams.com

This is one of those books that it is a pleasure to hold. It feels nice. It looks stunning, the cover and back cover by Vincent Chong are exquisite. Even the interior looks and feels nice, it feels like you’re holding a good quality book in your hands. It feels very similar to the limited editions from Blood Letting Press, except in paperback.

OK, so it doesn’t particularly matter what the book feels like, it’s the content that really matters. Right? But my point is that it does matter, holding a book that feels nice just adds to the pleasure. And this book can be judged on its beautifully subtle and disturbing cover.

Introductions are normally a waste of time unless they’re by the author, Tim Lebbon’s intro doesn’t stray too far from this. But he does mention that he read McMahon’s stories as a writer would. I completely agree with him on this, although I probably read as a writer differently to Mr. Lebbon. McMahon’s stories, two novellas in this collection, are packed with ideas and details and phrases that I wish I’d written, that I want to use in one of my stories. There are just so many “I wish I’d thought of that” moments!

The first story, Even The Dead Die, is a ghost story set in a London occupied by the dead, and it’s so rich and powerful that it made me feel like a teenager again, discovering my first horror story. Every page sparkles with ideas and brilliance, it’s like reading the very best of Neil Gaiman or Clive Barker. McMahon’s London is dark and nasty and brutal, but it’s also perversely beautiful. And so is his first story, dark, rich, tragic, powerfully and perversely beautiful.

The second story really shows the breadth of McMahon’s skill. In The Skin is a very different story, a personal tale of loss and neglect, a story of life. The story of Dan, who goes on a business trip to New York and upon his return, finds that his son is not quite the same, that his wife is slightly different. His family is not who they were before he left. The second story in the collection is as different as it possibly can be, this is a much more personal tale, without the glitter and glamour, the brilliance or the ideas of the first story. And yet it touches you more deeply, more subtly than the first story. Its horror is all the more real for its understated openness and its horrible sense of loss. My favourite story of the collection was Even The Dead Die, then I read In The Skin and had to change my mind.

OK, so the services of a proof-reader wouldn’t go amiss (although the typos have been spotted and will be fixed for the next print run), and there is no Charing Cross Road Station, but what you get when you buy this book is something much more than you will expect.

Despite its length and cost, it’s a 120 page book for the price of an epic novel at £7.99, that quality I mentioned earlier makes reading this book worth more than any price you can put on it. I was shaken putting this book down, mentally and emotionally shaken. Reading the first story made me feel alive, reading the second made me feel empty. It is that power that I search for as a reader. It is the quality of the production and the contents of this amazing collection which pushes it beyond insubstantial things like money, it’s like the Lord of the Rings, Anansi Boys, The Thief of Always, Weaveworld… reading this book is an epic experience that will touch you in ways that few experiences can.

I recommend Different Skins wholeheartedly and unreservedly, and will be seeking out much more of Gary McMahon’s work.

gejolak di dalam hati buat gw belakangan ini cukup menyiksa, dan jujur ini urusan hati gw terhadap beberapa orang. Ini yang namanya gejala jatuh cinta Anggana

gw akan memikirkan orang tersebut dengan cukup intens, dan kemudian muncul harapan untuk menjadi deket, trus berharap bisa merasakan rasa yang lebih dari biasa.Ini yang namanya jatuh cinta Anggana..

ini perasaan yang paling membuat gw gila, setelah kesalahan kesalahan gw yang ada di masa lalu yang udah membuat gw harus mengeluarkan cara mempertahankan nama baik dan reputasi gw..

gw ga berani jatuh cinta, jujur kembali gw jujur terhadap blog gw ini dan kepada diri gw sendiri.. gw ga berani jatuh cinta karena takut jatuh ke cerita lain yang namanya kekecewaan.

hati gw terlalu melankolis untuk menjabarkan rasa hati gw, gw terlalu sering merendahkan diri gw kalo udah berhadapan dengan masalah perasaaan cinta, dan gw akan menjadi bodoh pada saat yang sama. karena gw punya keinginan sangat besar buat jatuh cinta dan pada saat yang sama gw takut jatuh cinta. Bodohnya dan gak berdayanya gw mengendalikan perasaan gw. dan akhirnya gw merasakan kesepian.

dulu gw sanggup mengyangkal keadaan gw, skarang! gw dibuat bodoh untuk ini semua..

Tuhan sebuah doa saya ucapkan pada tulisan saya kali ini…

Tuhan adalah segala cinta, aku mencintai Engkau lebih dari segala sesuatu dan dengan segenap hati,
sebab Engkau maha baik dan pantas dicintai. Karena cinta akan dikau maka aku pun cinta akan semua orang,
sebagaimana aku cinta akan diriku sendiri. Tuhan, tambahkanlah selalu cintaku.

Alrighty, So I’m on this new “make myself a more accomplished person” kick – or something like that. I’ve started jogging (ha, we’ll see how long that lasts), I’ve promised myself I’m going to stop skipping classes and dedicate more time to studying, and I’m adding some challenges to my life simply to see if I’m able to do them. One of them is, in preparation for another challenge I plan on implementing if this one holds up, to blog everyday about a quote. I know – super boring, but I love to contemplate quotes, as I know many people do, so I’ll just be jotting a few of my own thoughts down

I’m planning on keeping this up for a month, maybe more if I can keep it going. Thirty posts is my goal, so if I miss a day or two, look for double posts in a day! haha I might give myself weekends off because I’m lazy and don’t like to get home until 4am. Anywayyy… here goes the first quote

Day 1 (10.20.09)

You can do anything, but not everything. – David Allen

Now googling David Allen, I found that he is the inventor of a time management system (yay Wikipedia). Go figure – something else I need to work on >.<

But this quote reminded me of a very recent conversation I had with a very good friend. One problem with me is that when I get involved in a project, something that I’m passionate about, I like doing, or I acquire some responsibility in, I really can’t say no. To anything. I have a real ego problem with liking responsibility and spreading myself to thin with other responsibilities or projects that myself or other put on me. I like to accomplish things and I hate letting people down.
I love to take on new tasks but sometimes I just get overloaded and I get sick of it.
I’m very recently finding out that you have to limit yourself to what you can do, physically and emotionally. I’m realizing that taking on too many things at a time can wear you down and drain your spirit – well, my spirit – but it’s ok to say no, or maybe later. It’s important to know your limits. It’s also important to take a vacation or a break every once in a while. Workaholics are dysfunctional for a reason, no offense to anyone that is because I can be one too. But loving what you do and working hard on it, achieving that success needs a reward that isn’t just more work. Have fun, smile, laugh – it’s a proven cure for cancer (not proven, not liable .

“Say no,” he said sternly.
“No,” I demanded with a smile.

P.S. This project is preparation for a youtube.com 30-60 day vlogging challenge I posed to myself. So, if I achieve this, I will be vlogging everyday for a month or two about my day ahh scary! and oh so boring o.O

Among the books I mentioned this one by Peter Scazzero had clubbed together with other books and experiences in my sabbatical with a determination to cause me to think deeply.

Judith and I read it chapter by chapter alternately – as we often do with books like this – and then talked about how it had spoken to us after we’d both read a section. I recommend this type of reading technique especially for husbands and wives in leadership; it enables regular reflection, the pausing before rushing into the next chapter helps you listen to one another. [This might not work with a novel!]

So I want to just take a moment to commend this little tome to you. Much of it was very familiar to us after 20 odd years in ministry. (‘Odd’ being the operative word!) But I think for newcomers to pastoral leadership it was essential to include this, and it gave Judith and I an opportunity to assess and agree what we have learned about shepherding the flock of God and where we would do things differently now in retrospect.

“Righteousness is easy in retrospect” so said White House chronicler Arthur Schlesinger Jr., and I guess inevitably everything is easy in retrospect. It doesn’t hurt however to learn from the past in a positive way because we are responsible for handing on the baton to the next generation, and even if our past mistakes cause consequences or are unlikely to reoccur, it is a healthy exercise to quietly and graciously review the way we have undertaken decisions and actions. It is emotionally healthy to do so.

When the disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray as he did, he taught them to ask our Father to “…forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us”. Now unless you’re a weird dispensationalist who believes that this prayer should not be used until the millennium or after the pre-wrath mid-tribulational rapture then this principle in the Lord’s prayer applies today, to you and me. And it involves retrospection to do this: In order for us to fully and properly forgive others who have sinned against us we must acknowledge this sin and who they are, and in so doing we release them from our judgment and we receive grace from the Lord to know and realise our own forgiveness for having sinned against him.

Living in the past of course is not good or godly. Many Christians sadly still do this, labouring under a burden of imaginary sin that was cancelled at the cross. As a result they are demotivated, joyless and a poor witness to the abundant life in Christ.

In Jesus God crossed out our sins on the cross! Past, present and future!

But that also does mean we should be consciously grateful for this and live a different life in this world as a result. This involves forgiving others the way we have been forgiven too. Full of mercy, full of grace. Not looking for it to be earned. Taking the initiative like Jesus did – not waiting to be asked – for it was “while we were still sinners that Christ died for us” [Rom 5:8]

In the early chapters the author describes from painful personal experience how, although superficially his life and marriage looked great and he was involved in leading a highly healthy and successful church by anyone’s standards, internally both individually as especially within their marriage relationship things had been deteriorating for some time. He points out that the reason that he did not initially acknowledge the extent of this impoverishment was because this was an emotional deterioration. It suddenly came to a head when his wife exclaimed that she loved him, but she was going to leave him.

He paints the picture more gloomily as he begins to realise that they are not the only ones in this dire situation, in fact because of the way he has led and undertaken his ministry and where others have sought to copy him, there are fractures within many lives. To begin with he tries the “I can fix this” mentality which is common to most leaders… well, men… well, common to me certainly. The idea is you add some ‘healing’ structure to the problem (e.g. seeing a counsellor) and carry on as before. He soon realises this will not do. The only solution is to stop what he’s doing and together with his wife and then his leadership, review what has happened and turn around (i.e. repent)  from the direction they were heading in.

One of the best chapters of the book is entitled Leaders need to lead out of Brokenness and Vulnerability. In this section he presents some solid biblical principles, touching especially on the misnomered story of the Prodigal Son which alludes to the brilliant handling of this by Tim Keller in The Prodigal God. Scazzero also refers in some detail to the Rembrandt painting Return of the Prodigal Son. I was deeply moved by this chapter personally sensing that God the Holy Spirit was doing something profound in my soul. I am learning to let God teach me what this means for my life and leadership because this is not the way I have led in the past. So together Judith and I thanked God for having arrested us at such a time as this and we began to feel more than ever that this sabbatical was heaven-planned, not so much for me to learn from great and growing churches, but for a great and gracious God to grow my heart in a new direction.

Not all of Scazzero’s book is as profound or secure as this however – some parts I found woolly on the nature of personal sin and being sinned against. Similarly I would have valued more reference to the redemptive power of the cross in dealing with our sin. Nevertheless it is a book that did me good. At the right time in the right place.

It made me “want to be a better man” [Jack Nicholson's awkward OCD character Melvin, to Carol, played by Helen Hunt in As Good As It Gets] Remember that line men!

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defeated option

 “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.” Psalm 37:7

I want to encourage you today that there will be times in your life where you must spend time just listening before the Lord.  You have come to a crossroad where you will know that you need a word, a leading, a new step to get you to the next place of understanding.

This will not be a desperate time; it is an inviting and holy place.  It is a time where God has initiated an invitation for you to come and spend time with Him to know how you can join Him in what He is doing.  You can be confident you will receive from Him during this time.

A time of listening is just what it means, a time of listening.  You will spend more time listening than speaking.  It will be a time when issues will be settled without your awareness of their completion.  It is a time where new dreams and visions will be conceived.  It may even be time for dreams and visions to be birthed.  In this place, the journey of life will have only begun once again in this time of listening.

So many people are misinterpreting their times of listening for something negative happening to them physically, mentally, or emotionally.  A time of listening is not a common solution in our present society.  I believe that it is because society as a whole is not accustomed to times of listening, just in doing.  The danger of always doing, is that many have proceeded down the wrong paths of decision-making due to the inability of taking the time to listen.  Society tags you with being indecisive if you do not make quick decisions.  But how much error has been made because of not taking a time of listening. 

I encourage you not to allow times of listening to be disturbing in your life.  Do not be intimidated by others who are not familiar with times of listening.  Welcome times of listening as times of opportunities to enter into some personal time with the Lord knowing you will emerge stronger, refreshed, and with confidence of moving forward in your life.

ENCOURAGEMENT:  I encourage you to take a daily time of stillness and quietness before the Lord so you can continue to move forward in positive ways in your life.

 “Be still before the Lord, all mankind, because He has roused Himself from His Holy Dwelling.”    Zechariah 2:13

Next time you hear Glenn Beck or some other yahoo blathering on about Obama’s birth certificate, the immigrants destroying our communities, or any other rediculous idea (isn’t that just about all of them these days?), remember this story:

The Making of Glenn Beck

Explains quite a lot, in my not-so-humble opinion. (Why is he so popular? Are we Americans really that bad? That stupid, that he should rise to eclipse even the right honorable Rush?)

I knew Beck had baggage, I just didn’t know his bags were as large as conex boxes. On a good day, he’s a sorry-ass polemicist masquerading as a reporter. On a bad day, he should really be seeking psychological psychiatric counseling. Or someone with some compassion should have him committed. He has definite clocktower potential — only thing that keeps him from climbing those steps is that he gets lots of attention.

I’m neither liberal nor conservative, for the record. I’m more of a progressive libertarian — that means that I wish I was a libertarian, but I realize it’s a pipe dream because of all the selfish assholes who would tear this society apart if they were given the autonomy they desire. We need a strong state and expensive institutions (like courts of law and lots of police) to keep those assholes in check. Assholes like Glenn Beck. Tangent: The day Fox News sets the media agenda in this country is the day I go underground. (Fear me if that happens, Glenn old boy, ’cause you don’t know crazy.)

I find it interesting that the major conservative lightening lightning rods in this country have all kinds of personal problems like cult fixations and drug addictions (two sides of the same coin in my opinion), sexual deviance, etc. Equally interesting is that the more irrational their rants become, the more intently Palin’s “average Joe” types listen. I can tell, because all their ignorant asses know how to do is parot parrot what they heard on Fox News or the AM radio.  There are a frightening number of average Joes in this country. Truly frightening.

I suppose I could relax with the knowledge that when such personalities achieve fame, it is usually only a matter of time before they self-destruct. I just can’t get myself to relax these days. Something needs to be done about these angry, stupid, dangerous, troubled people.

Free speech be damned.

Patience and Silence are powerful energies. Patience makes you mentally strong, silence makes you emotionally strong.

We laughed so hard we couldn’t breathe. It was your typical giggle-fest where you get to the point where everything is hilarious and just increases the laughter. You cry. You try your best not to pee your pants. When it was finally over my ribs, my face, my throat and even the muscles in the back of my neck are sore from the ordeal.
This was a church meeting, mind you. A men’s gathering that was intended to be more serious, something to help us become more introspective and ultimately become better men, and understand how to live our faith more fully.
Instead, non stop, howling laughing.
This wasn’t one of those “holy” laughter things you hear about in some Pentecostal churches. This was good old fashioned funny stories from our lives.
We had an agenda for the meeting. We wanted to get to know each other better. Ultimately, the group is designed to help us grow spiritually and emotionally. Trust is crucial to that we spent time getting to know each other, setting the foundation for what is to come. We were asked to share something about ourselves that the others didn’t know.
I can’t share what we discussed. But when the first person to speak told us that he once was the quality control inspector at a breast pump factory, a few chuckles rolled out. Chuckles turned to guffaws and the night had a whole new agenda. Most of it sophomoric and gross. Enough so to pass for a meeting of sixth grade boys as we rattled off crazy story after crazy story that involved odd, embarrassing or even disgusting bathroom incidents.
By then, the laughter was far into the realm of unbridled. There was no way that it was coming back to something serious.
Later, as we were finally wrapping up, one of our number asked, “why can’t we have fun like this in church all the time?”
Which is a great question. Obviously, there are times when such humor is inappropriate. There are times when things need to be more serious; part our interaction with life as a church encompasses those bad, sad and even horrible times. Some things aren’t appropriate for certain audiences. But the truth of the matter is, we all have funny and embarrassing stories. They are part of life too. Why can’t they be part of Christian experience?
There are places where this kind of being real is good. Even important. There is a point when being goofy is necessary. I’ll even go so far as to say it’s holy.
The scriptures I read say that God found his creation good. Even the gross parts. Even the base parts. It’s the way he made it. Embrace it.