I went up to Saldanha on Monday to give a presentation on the Psychology of Survival. Then back for a night-flight in a helicopter that evening. Wow, what a thrill.

Leaving aside the long wait, some anxiety about flying with a trainee pilot, sitting around while he practises landing from different heights (800m, 600m, 400m, 200m) and so on, the flight itself was exhilirating. We had breathtaking views of the city at sunset and then there was the sheer thrill of being up in the air and looking down on everything.

It was scary and exciting at the same time and I’m sure the anxiety adds to the enjoyment since all that fear of crashing in a ball of flame on the ground gets transformed into the joy of apparent weightlessness as you drift over the city in the magic light of sunset.

We got to see the new Cape Town Stadium which is hosting the World Cup Draw next Saturday and it’s beautiful. Unfortunately I had my camera on the wrong setting and so my stadium shots were blurry. But at least the mountain was looking good.

***

Thinking about my fear of flying led me to realise that I’ve never actually read Erica Jong’s 1973 novel, which is “a comic, picaresque novel of sex and psychiatry that challenged conventional views of women”.

Before rushing off to get the book I thought I’d read a couple of reviews to see how this feminist classic has weathered the intervening 36 years. Joanne Barkan does a very good re-reading in the Fall 2009 issue of Dissent.

Here she summarises the plot:

Twenty-nine-year-old Isadora Wing (who’s recently been on the reading circuit with her first book, a volume of erotic poetry) is travelling with her Chinese American psychiatrist husband to a convention of psychoanalysts in Vienna. Emotionally frustrated and sexually bored in her marriage, Isadora is tormented, on the one hand, by her yearning for adventure, sexual rapture, freedom, and creativity, and on the other hand, by her need for the security and protection of a husband. She opts, at least temporarily, for adventure by taking off on a frenzied, buzzed-on-beer road trip through Western Europe in a sporty convertible with a “swinging” Jungian analyst whom she’s met at the convention. Two and a half weeks later, he dumps her in Paris in order to join his children and his current girlfriend for a long-planned vacation in Brittany. Completely unprepared for this, Isadora falls apart for a day but emerges from her panic with some of the confidence and strength she’s craved. She heads to London and the hotel where she and her husband had planned to meet before flying back to New York. He’s out, but she gets the key to his room. The book closes with her soaking in the bathtub, feeling contented, when her husband walks in. Will she stay with him or leave? She doesn’t know, but in either case, she’s convinced that she’ll be fine. (Joanne Barkan, Dissent, Fall 2009)

The novel seems to have been equally shocking and liberating at the time and while not very well written, Fear of Flying helped to break the mould of women’s identities. As Barkan says, it “encouraged so many of us to get our stories straight”.

If you’re interested, also check out this article by Rebecca Mead in The New Yorker.

Ho mandato un messaggio conciliante a Marlon, prima di aprire l’ufficio, stamattina. Dicevo che abbiamo tutto il tempo di discutere e anche dicevo che, al di là di tutto,  lui mi piace, come persona.
Ovviamente non si è preso il disturbo di rispondermi.
Ovviamente mi piace sempre meno, come persona, al di là di tutto.
Oggi è lunedì e io sto già morendo di sonno, non è un buon presupposto per una settimana che sarà la mia ultima settimana in analisi, preludio della mia ultima seduta. Una settimana in cui devo confezionarmi un piano di studi, due allenamenti, una partita in un paesino nebbioso e nevoso al confine con la Svizzera, una serie di lezioni, di cui una di statistica che devo ri-studiare da capo, entro le cinque di oggi pomeriggio. Una settimana in cui ho tanto da pensare, bilanci da fare, vorrei avere un momento per mettermi a posto casa e considerare cose. Cose sull’ultimo anno, intendo.
Com’è passato veloce l’ultimo anno, intendo, ma non è questa la questione. Non oggi, almeno.
Ieri ho giocato la mia prima partita di rugby.
Beh, giocato è una parola grossa, in realtà non mi sono neanche messa la divisa. Diciamo che ho partecipato alla mia prima partita di rugby.
E’ vero che quello del rugby è un mondo che può rimanerti nel cuore tutta la vita, ho visto ragazze schizzate di fango dalla testa ai piedi sorridersi radiose e poi prendersi a spallate fuoriosamente, ho visto una bionda col culo basso correre veloce e potente come una locomotiva, ho visto la stanchezza e il sudore, ho visto l’allenatore a bordo campo e ho capito che cos’è una bestemmia muta, ho visto me stessa, a mia volta, a bordo campo,  saltellare e emozionarmi, ho visto il freddo e l’autunno. Ma soprattutto ho visto il terzo tempo, ho visto uno sciame di donne dai quindici ai trentacinque anni che uscivano dallo spogliatoio contente e cominciavano a bere birra e mangiare pasta al pesto tutte insieme. E mi sono guardata intorno, mangiando pasta al pesto, ma non bevendo ancora birra, perchè non mi sento pronta, e ho pensato che tutto questo vivere sia meravigliosamente sano.
Al ritorno a casa ero stanca e infreddolita ma c’era Marlon in cucina che stava provando a confezionare una vera cena dell’equatore, con tanto di banane fritte.
Marlon è un uomo meraviglioso da avere vicino: Marlon ti fa sentire una principessa, ti addormenta cullandoti e raccontandoti storie, Marlon cucina per te, Marlon è capace di essere un profugo comunista cileno quando esce con i tuoi amici, Marlon a letto è un meraviglioso, coinvolgente maschio latino, Marlon è capace di portarti fuori il cane, passare l’aspirapolvere mentre dormi e aggiustarti il computer, Marlon ha un buon odore e ci si potrebbe passare la giornata a arrotolarsi i suoi riccioli sulla punta delle dita, Marlon sa farti sentire l’esatto centro del suo cuore quando ti guarda, con i suoi occhi da indio e non ti dice nulla. Marlon è perfetto.
Peccato che ieri la sua ex-fidanzata tedesca continuasse a mandargli sms.
Marlon è perfetto, Marlon non è un traditore, Marlon se gli arriva un sms dalla sua ex mi chiede consiglio su come rispondere.
E a me questa donna ha fatto una pena, una pena che pur con la doccia calda, il terzo tempo, la cena dell’equatore e il profumo della crema idratante, io guardavo Marlon e mi sentivo triste. La sentivo sotto il naso come quando tagli la cipolla la disperazione di questa donna tedesca che ci si è messa la vita in gioco con il mio amante latino, bicipite tatuato e grembiule. E’ facile innamorarsi di un uomo così.
E pensavo: menomale che non sono tedesca, menomale che ne ho viste così tante, menomale che mi sono ricordata di mettere il cuore in cassaforte, menomale che ho una vita tutta ripiena di cose belle, menomale che quest’uomo non è l’unica deriva della mia fantasia. Perchè quella donna di lavoro fa l’ingegnere. E io ho presente l’impatto devastante che ho io sulla vita degli ingegneri, io che sono un vampiro che ha imparato le buone maniere, lui dev’essere micidiale. Lui che è un vampiro e non sa di essere un vampiro.
E sarebbe andato tutto bene, sarebbe stata una serata tranquilla, un po’ meno sognante, forse, un po’ meno sospesa e galleggiante, se Marlon non avesse deciso di giocasi tutte le sue carte, fino in fondo. Perchè Marlon è ingordo, Marlon mi vuole tutta per sè, non può sopportare neanche l’idea che ci sia qualche altro uomo nella mia vita, oppure che ci potrebbe essere: sopporta a malapena che ci sia stato.
Fosse stato un altro non avrei speso una parola sull’argomento. Ma ho un debole per lui, non ci posso fare niente, e quindi ho provato a spiegargli. Ma tu spiega a un maschio latino accecato dalla gelosia e dalla sua educazione al possesso della donna, che un’avventura in più o un’avventura in meno, per me, non fa differenza, è una promessa di fedeltà che fa la differenza, perchè ne deve valere la pena, perchè ci sono cose che sono preziose: la dedizione è preziosa e a me non basta che un uomo cerchi di essere perfetto per un mese. Perchè io ho trent’anni e faccio una serie di strani mestieri, ma non l’ingegnere e lo so a memoria dove finisce il corteggiamento e dove comincia la vita reale.
E so anche che Marlon non è costante, Marlon è un centometrista, e, se vuole una cosa, la sottintende, poi la propone, poi la chiede, poi insiste e poi minaccia di andarsene. E so anche che, nel momento in cui pensa di provare a giocare quell’ultima carta dell’andar via, sente una vocina da qualche parte che gli dice “ti chiamo un taxi”? Perchè Marlon impara presto e è capace di valutare i rapporti di forza.
E’ lunedì e Marlon è tremendamente arrabbiato con me.
Io ho sonno e sono un po’ delusa.
Speravo che se la cavasse meglio.
Il problema è che sono circondata da uomini che non sono capaci a diventare adulti e non riesco a capire se sono io che me li cerco così, per qualche ragione che non saprei dire, oppure se è un problema sociale o generazionale.
Ma io lo so che con la fatica che ho fatto a diventare adulta non ho nessuna intenzione di legare la mia vita a qualcuno che adulto non diventerà mai e di cui mi dovrò sempre occupare. Io voglio un rapporto alla pari.
Ieri pomeriggio sono tornata a casa in macchina con l’allenatore. Quell’uomo non è un gran conversatore e avrei preferito stare zitta a guardare il paesaggio dal finestrino, ma era stanco e ho dovuto forzarmi un pochino e aiutarlo a stare sveglio.
A un certo punto gli dico: appena torno a casa devo buttare qualsiasi cosa in lavatrice, sono tutta piena di fango. E lui si gira, mi guarda stupito e mi fa: ma dopo la partita devi ancora fare la lavatrice, poverina?
L’unica cosa che riesco a rispondere è: eh?
E mi viene in mente che quell’uomo ha passato direttamente il borsone dalle mani di sua mamma a quelle di sua moglie, in maniera così naturale e spudorata che sembra incredibile che ci siano esseri umani che fanno tutto da soli: partite e lavatrici.

Guardati dall’uomo che sa cucinare, ti lascera’ la cucina piena di
pentole unte.  (Erica Jong)

I came across this on Vanessa Daou’s album “Zipless”, which George Pitts played during our shoot last Saturday in Manhattan. After a bit of research, I learned that Daou is Erica Jong’s neice by marriage and that all of the songs are recitations of Jong’s poetry. The title, Zipless comes from the term she coined in Fear of Flying, “zipless fuck”:  ”The zipless fuck is absolutely pure. It is free of ulterior motives. There is no power game . The man is not “taking” and the woman is not “giving.” No one is attempting to cuckold a husband or humiliate a wife. No one is trying to prove anything or get anything out of anyone. The zipless fuck is the purest thing there is. And it is rarer than the unicorn. And I have never had one.” (My view on that one would take an entire blog of its own, since to me, a zipless fuck sounds much like a Holy Grail.)

Gamini

Anyway, here are some of Jong’s poems that hooked me:

The Long Tunnel of Wanting You

This is the long tunnel of wanting you.
Its walls are lined with remembered kisses
wet & red as the inside of your mouth,
full & juicy as your probing tongue,
warm as your belly against mine,
deep as your navel leading home,
soft as your sleeping cock beginning to stir,
tight as your legs wrapped around mine,
straight as your toes pointing toward the bed
as you roll over & thrust your hardness
into the long tunnel of my wanting,
seeding it with dreams & unbearable hope,
making memories of the future,
straightening out my crooked past,
teaching me to live in the present present tense
with the past perfect and the uncertain future
suddenly certain for certain
in the long tunnel of my old wanting
which before always had an ending
but now begins & begins again
with you, with you, with you.

From Dear Anne Sexton II

He is like nobody
since I love him.
His cock sinks deep
in my heart.

Golden Age Photographer (RVB)

Alcestis on the Poetry Circuit
(In Memoriam Marina Tsvetayeva, Anna Wickham, Sylvia Plath, Shakespeare’s sister, etc., etc.)

The best slave
does not need to be beaten.
She beats herself.

Not with a leather whip,
or with stick or twigs,
not with a blackjack
or a billyclub,
but with the fine whip
of her own tongue
& the subtle beating
of her mind
against her mind.

For who can hate her half so well

as she hates herself?
& who can match the finesse
of her self-abuse?

Years of training
are required for this.
Twenty years
of subtle self-indulgence,
self-denial;
until the subject
thinks herself a queen
& yet a beggar –
both at the same time.
She must doubt herself
in everything but love.

She must choose passionately
& badly.
She must feel lost as a dog
without her master.
She must refer all moral questions
to her mirror.
She must fall in love with a cossack
or a poet.

She must never go out of the house
unless veiled in paint.
She must wear tight shoes
so she always remembers her bondage.
She must never forget
she is rooted in the ground.

Though she is quick to learn
& admittedly clever,
her natural doubt of herself
should make her so weak
that she dabbles brilliantly
in half a dozen talents
& thus embellishes
but does not change
our life.

If she’s an artist
& comes close to genius,
the very fact of her gift
should cause her such pain
that she will take her own life
rather than best us.

& after she dies, we will cry
& make her a saint.

Razorfist

Razorfist

Sunday Afternoons

I sit at home
at my desk alone
as I used to do
on many sunday afternoons
when you came back to me,
your arms ached for me,
and your arms would close me in
though they smelled of other women.

I think of you
on Sunday afternoons.

Your sweet head would bow,
like a child somehow,
down to me -
and your hair and your eyes were wild.

We would embrace on the floor-
You see my back´s still sore.
You knew how easily I bruised,
It´s a soreness I would never lose.

I think of you
on Sunday afternoons.

Jacques Tremetol

My Love is Too Much

My love is too much–
it embarrasses you–
blood, poems, babies,
red needs that telephone
from foreign countries,
black needs that spatter
the pages
of your white papery heart.

You would rather have a girl
with simpler needs:
lunch, sex, undemanding
loving,
dinner, wine, bed,
the occasional blow-job
& needs that are never
red as gaping wounds
but cool & blue
as television screens
in tract houses.

Oh my love,
those simple girls
with simple needs
read my books too.

They tell me they feel
the same as I do.

They tell me I transcribe
the language of their hearts.
They tell me I translate
their mute, unspoken pain
into the white light
of language.

Oh love,
no love
is ever wholly undemanding.
It can pretend coolness
until the pain comes,
until the first baby comes,
howling her own infant need
into a universe
that never summoned her.

The love you seek
cannot be found
except in the white pages
of recipe books.

It is cooking you seek,
not love,
cooking with sex coming after,
cool sex
that speaks to the penis alone,
& not the howling chaos
of the heart.

Jacques Tremetol

These fifteen little truths I hold dear to my heart. Some are harsh, some are wise, some are clever, but, all have helped me at one point or another in my professional writing career. They have made me what I am today, and when things seemed darkest they provided light to see by, and now, after all this time, I actually write for a living! To me, that’s just prime!

1- Great writers are always evil influences; second-rate writers are not wicked enough to become great.  –George Bernard Shaw

2- What no wife of a writer can ever understand is that a writer is working when he’s staring out the window. –Burton Rascoe

3- Writing is one of the few professions left where you take all the responsibility for what you do. It’s really dangerous and ultimately destroys you as a writer if you start thinking about responses to your work or what your audience needs. –Erica Jong

4- For me, writing is the only thing that passes the three tests of métier: (1) when I’m doing it, I don’t feel that I should be doing something else instead; (2) it produces a sense of accomplishment and, once in a while, pride; and (3) it’s frightening. -Gloria Steinem

5- This is what I find most encouraging about the writing trades: They allow mediocre people who are patient and industrious to revise their stupidity, to edit themselves into something like intelligence. They also allow lunatics to seem saner than sane. –Kurt Vonnegut

6- All writing is communication; creative writing is communication through revelation – it is the self escaping into the open. No writer long remains incognito. –E.B White

7- Writers don’t have lifestyles. They sit in little rooms and write. –Norman Miller

8- I write because I hate. A lot. Hard. –William Gass

9- Writers write to influence their readers, their preachers, their auditors, but always, at the bottom, to be more themselves. –Aldous Huxley

10- I shall live badly if I do not write, I shall write badly if I do not live. –Françoise Sagan

11- A writer is someone who writes, that’s all. You can’t stop it; you can’t make yourself do anything but that. –Gore Vidal

12- A good writer always works at the impossible. –John Steinbeck

13- Those who write clearly have readers; those who write obscurely have commentators. –Albert Camus

14- A great deal of people now reading and writing would be better employed raising rabbits. –Edith Sitwell

15- Every successful creative person creates with an audience of one in mind. –Kurt Vonnegut

I loved, loved, loved reading Erica Jong’s book on writing, which she called Seducing The Demon: Writing for My Life. Naturally the title had to be sexually provocative — sex launched her into best-selling, celebrity-author status in the Seventies. Her seminal novel, Fear of Flying, published in 1973, blew the lid off sexual repression for budding feminist Baby Boomers.

Back in that day (and forty years ago is a long time), women were defined by what men thought, said, and wrote about them. Until the second wave of American feminism burst forth across the land, women were told they were demur, prim, morally superior and disinterested in carnal knowledge. Then Erica Jong created and set loose this bawdy, sexual adventurer she named Isadora Wing. Adulterous, randy Mrs. Wing was driven to fulfill her sexual fantasies, which were characterized by raw physicality and emotional detachment. Her coined phrase, the “Zipless Fuck,” became a measure of feminist coolness. Did you recognize the term; did you subscribe?

When I discovered Fear of Flying, I was a college student steeping myself in women’s literature and new feminist polemics. I was devouring the writing of Anais Nin, Victoria Woodhull Claflin, Edith Wharton, Robin Morgan, Betty Friedan, Germaine Greer, and Kate Millet. The Vietnam War raged, as did the anti-war movement, fueled by a rock ‘n roll soundtrack. There were demonstrations to foment; rallies to address; asses to kick. Every day was a rush. Every day was brand new; I was brand new. The ideas dislocating our culture were refreshingly new.

The times were horrible, explosive, expansive, inclusive, and wondrous. I emerged from them an activist, feminist, liberal, and optimist. They gave me permissions denied women for decades. And, even though I self-righteously judged Isadora Wing as old, old-fashioned, settled and married, I fully embraced as my own her funny, playful, sexually liberated persona.

My recent reading of Jong reconnected me to those times and “That Girl” I was. Suddenly, I could barely wait to discover whatever happened to the idolized and pilloried Erica Jong, now 67 years old. She did not disappoint. In her direct, honest, brazen style she recounted her life. A life bubbling over with loves, lovers, addiction, poetry, novels, neurotic mother-daughter issues, and the death of a beloved father.

I particularly enjoyed Jong’s gossipy version of her catfight with movie producer Julia Phillips, as they tried to bring Fear of Flying to the screen. Phillips immortalized her own crack-driven plunge off the pedestal in her swan song memoir, You’ll Never Eat Lunch in this Town Again. I also thoroughly relished Jong’s kick-him-while-he’s-down, payback depiction of a now-pathetic, once and former scumbag lover.

But most of all, I was awed, thankful and proud of Jong’s bravery and audacity in just continuing to write. Like her or hate her  – she’s out there: 22 books strong. Writing is her life’s through-line. It’s where she sorted it all out. It’s where she took her stand. And, unlike her suicidal heroes, Plath and Seton, she survived. And, she’s not going gently into that good night.

What a hoot and what an inspiration. Feminism lives; feminist lives carry forward and are chronicled for future generations. I sure hope I’m around for the third round of the feminist revolt, even if I’ve got to wave the banner from a rocking chair on the porch of the old folks home!

So says Erica Jong, writing in HuffPo:

Not only does our tiny one-writer, one-lawyer business pay fortunes for health care for our assistants, housekeeper and ourselves, but any time the health care company makes a mistake, we pay anyway for fear of being cancelled.

Just pay, our broker says–if you hold back your check, they’ll cancel you. So for six months last year, I paid full coverage for a fired assistant–though the broker gave me erroneous information.

Companies with 25 employees, not one, are responsible for paying health insurance for a worker who’s been fired after six months. The broker was wrong. Blue Cross or Aetna or Oxford–I forget which–held our money for six months and then refused to refund the correct amount. I’m still asking for it. This is what monopolies do.

I’m a lucky cuss–good earning power and a spouse with good earning power–but the health care giants answer to no one. Why should they? They have cornered the market. Unless there is a competing option, they will continue to act like the eight hundred pound gorilla who sits wherever he wants.

Copenhagen, Denmark – Awake in the small hours.

Awake at four
with the old brain beating
its fast tattoo -
I want, I want -
I think of love,
of the hot scramble
of limbs in darkness;

of the mind
pulsing its secrets
in metaphor;
of synapses firing
need, longing, love;
of the body
with its midnight hungers;

of the mind
caught between dream and waking;
wondering what it is,
self-creating always;

of God,
whatever she is
asking the questions;
Who are you anyway,
and how did you get here,
and what is the distance
between two stars,
between two brain cells,
between two lovers?

Here in the rosy
pink-ringed dark
all the birds
are sentient in their own way
as we -
on the verge
of wakefulness
and song.

~ Erica Jong

Hello!

This week: Courage is Doing What You’re Afraid to Do
***
“We conquer, not in any brilliant fashion, we conquer by continuing.” — George Matheson

Last week, my first draft was ready to be finished. A scene or two—the Big Confrontation—and I’d be done. Easy! Whew! Couldn’t wait to finish. Really. *cough*

On Monday, I sat at my computer, fingers at the ready and froze. Couldn’t force myself to type a single word. My eyes scanned the outline, read through the previous days’ writing and…nothing. After answering emails, visiting blogs, responding to comments, and a lengthy game of online spades, I gave up. That night, I confided to my husband my panic. He listened and advised me not to put too much stock in one day’s procrastination, just pick it up again tomorrow.

“Courage doesn’t always roar.  Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.”  ~Mary Anne Radmacher

Tuesday morning, as I sipped my tea, my heart jumped once again at the thought of putting fingers to keyboard and wrapping up my first draft. ARGH! Then it struck me with the force of a wooden spoon knocking sense into my inner child. I was scared of screwing up.

“I have accepted fear as a part of life – specifically the fear of change…. I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says:  turn back.”  ~Erica Jong

Yes, this was only my first draft but my panicky mind wasn’t up for rationality. Once again, I let myself forget that these words aren’t carved into stone. This isn’t a sculpture made out of precious marble—one slip and my chisel knocks off the freaking nose! These are simply words. Flexible, interchangeable, and definitely erase-able words. Whew. I reminded myself, once again, that This Is Just My First Draft. Anything can be changed. The only imperative here is to keep moving forward, one word, one page, one draft at a time.
****
The complete essay at: The Write Soul: www.chironokeefe.blogspot.com

This is a “Test” of the Emergent-sea Bloodcast Cistern:

NKorea warns of nuclear war amid rising tensions

…North Korea’s Foreign Ministry threatened war with any country that stops its ships on the high seas under new sanctions approved by the U.N. Security Council in response to its May 25 nuclear test…

♫ Serb Ever In Blue Jeans, Babe ♫

Croatia claims world’s largest pair of jeans

“When I sit down at my writing desk, time seems to vanish.  I think it’s a wonderful way to spend one’s life.”

- Erica Jong

I couldn’t have said it better myself.  Happy Saturday, everyone!

You take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame. –Erica Jong

Could someone please explain this to my children? Seriously, what would they do without Mom to blame?

At our house, you can hear someone ask, “Where’s my blue shirt with the butterfly on it?” “Who moved my homework?” “Where are my ski gloves?” or “Who took my snack?” at any given time on any given day.

My answer, of course is Poltergeist. The Borrowers. Mysterious fairies live in our house and eat my kids’ homework. But do my kids think so? No sirreee. Mom did it.

Just exactly when do we grow up and learn not to blame? Can we, as adults, embrace personal responsibility and stop blaming the driver in front of us? The weather? The teacher? Okay, so maybe I won’t stop blaming the parent who screams at kids on the soccer field, but he’s an idiot.

Waking up to the realization that we are in control of our actions and reactions to life is not an easy task. We can’t control snow in the spring, but we can fix a pina colada and crank the heat and pretend. In fact, I’m headed to the bar right now.

When we blame others, or the weather, or circumstance we find discontent. Once we own up to what is, we can begin to truly let go and live.

First, I have to go find my car keys. My husband stole them.

I am ashamed to confess that I was, until recently, unfamiliar with the work of Anne Sexton.

That I have discovered her now is thanks to a remarkable album by Val-Inc which I have just reviewed for Whisperin’ and Hollerin’. This record uses samples from two of Sexton’s poems read by the author herself. The poems are ‘Music Swims Back To Me’ and ‘Her Kind’.

These, as with all her poetry, came about as a direct result of therapy. Sexton struggled with depression and obsessions with suicide. Her psychotherapists advised her to try and put her fears into words. The result they may have been cathartic but didn’t serve as a cure as she eventually took her own life aged 46 in 1974.
She has been called a ‘confessional poet’ because of the candour with which she describes her profound anxieties and related struggles to connect with other people.

Many critics questions the artistic merits of writing , many more  were uncomfortable with writing that was so raw and personal. This didn’t stop her from winning the Pulitzer Prize in 1967. on the strength of her collection ‘Live or Die’ .

To see the world without a filter is liable to drive anyone crazy. What is regarded as conventional and ‘proper’ behaviour means to play along with forms of deceit that make the unpalatable bearable. For instance, most of us prefer not to think about death until the grim reality of it stares us in the face through the loss of a loved one. To refuse to go along with this pretence is to risk, at best, being labelled lacking in social graces, at worth being certified as insane.

Sexton’s inner turmoil stems from the fact that she could not live her life according to the surface ‘pleasantries’  Erica Jong, wrote that: “She is an important poet not only because of her courage in dealing with previously forbidden subjects, but because she can make the language sing”.
This is her poem ‘Her Kind’ :

I have gone out, a possessed witch,

haunting the black air, braver at night;

dreaming evil, I have done my hitch

over the plain houses, light by light:

lonely thing, twelve-fingered, out of mind.

A woman like that is not a woman, quite.

I have been her kind.

I have found the warm caves in the woods,

filled them with skillets, carvings, shelves,

closets, silks, innumerable goods;

fixed the suppers for the worms and the elves:

whining, rearranging the disaligned.

A woman like that is misunderstood.

I have been her kind.

I have ridden in your cart, driver,

waved my nude arms at villages going by,

learning the last bright routes, survivor

where your flames still bite my thigh

and my ribs crack where your wheels wind.

A woman like that is not ashamed to die.

I have been her kind.

Film of her reading her works show that she was also a very sensual woman and what a great loss it was that she died so young:

http://thinkexist.com/quotation/advice_is_what_we_ask_for_when_we_already_know/10730.html

]]> http://julielomoe.wordpress.com/2009/05/26/the-shadow-side-carl-jung-and-sue-grafton/ Tue, 26 May 2009 18:14:18 +0000 julielomoe http://julielomoe.wordpress.com/2009/05/26/the-shadow-side-carl-jung-and-sue-grafton/

Yesterday, writing about the shadow side in nature, I promised to blog about Carl Jung and Sue Grafton. But today, determined to fulfill my promise, I found myself under attack by one of my own shadow selves – the harsh academic critic that drove me mercilessly throughout my higher education.

At last month’s MWA Edgar Symposium in New York City, Sue Grafton spoke about a time several years back when she found herself creatively blocked. (Who wouldn’t be, committing to write 26 novels about the same protagonist!) She entered therapy, in the course of which she explored her “shadow side,” the unconscious, more instinctual and irrational side of the psyche we find it hard to acknowledge. The process helped her regain momentum, and she recommended that other authors mine the depths of their own shadows.

I took voluminous notes, as I always do at these events – a holdover from my years in academia. True, I rarely read them again, but at least I know I have them. Today, though, I couldn’t find them, and panic set in. Should I write about Grafton anyway? What if I misquoted her? Ultimately I decided to forge ahead with my memories alone, but the choice wasn’t an easy one.

Then I decided to check out what Carl Jung had to say about “the shadow.” Wikipedia was the easiest choice, but when I read the endless entry on Jung, there were dozens of references and links but absolutely nothing about the shadow. Again, more panic – I started hyperventilating, and my heart rate went up. Had I been wrong? Maybe he hadn’t written about the shadow after all. Fortunately, I did an advanced search, adding “shadow” after his name, and there it was, a long entry under “Shadow (psychology)”. Here are some tidbits:

In Jungian psychology, the shadow or “shadow aspect” is a part of the unconscious mind consisting of repressed weaknesses, shortcomings, and instincts . . .”Everyone carries a shadow,” Jung wrote, “and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is” . . . The shadow may appear in dreams and visions in various forms, often as a feared or despised person or being, and may act either as an adversary or a servant.

Hmmm, sounds like the villains in our mystery novels, doesn’t it? I’m reminded of Gabriel, the sensitive, tormented shadow figure in my book Eldercide, who murders elderly folks he believes have outlived their allotted life spans. I relished writing from his point of view far more than I liked writing about the good guys. Guess I’m in touch with my shadow!

Thanks to my inner critic, I achieved the academic goals I set myself. For example, I graduated from Barnard Magna cum Laude and Phi Beta Kappa. But that turned out not to do me much good in the real world. Some of my classmates did a bit better – they included Erica Jong, Twyla Tharp and Martha Stewart. Oh well, I’ve still got time, right?

How about the other writers out there – are you in touch with your dark side? And how does it fuel your writing?

“Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it. . . . It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk everything, you risk even more”.
~~ Erica Jong in How to Save Your Own Life (1977)

This week, I had the great pleasure of interviewing Wendy Burt-Thomas, author of The Writer’s Digest Guide to Query Letters, which just hit stores in January:

Wendy, thank you so much for joining us! Query letters are always a serious concern for both aspiring and publishing writers. I know The Writer’s Digest Guide to Query Letters covers all three types of query letters: article query letters to publication editors, nonfiction query letters to agents, and fiction query letters to agents. I’d like to focus in this interview specifically on those questions I get most often from clients about writing fiction query letters to agents.

1) You’ve pointed out that a query letter is a first impression and that I, the author of the query, only get one shot at it with this particular agent. So I should be able to extrapolate that the hook, like the lead of a news article, is possibly the single most important part of my query. If it’s bad, I’m finished before I’ve even started. If it’s good, bingo! I’ve got a foot in the golden door of an agent’s attention.

Agent Noah Lukeman says the hook should be about the agent—in fact, he says if I have a recommendation from another client, my hook should be about that recommendation. He even provides the sentence. Agent Nathan Bransford, on the other hand, analyzes on his blog an excellent query with a hook about the book (although he apparently gets serious, debilitating hives from rhetorical questions), which actually makes more sense to me.

What should that all-important opening sentence really be about: the agent, the recommendation, or the book? Or something else, such as the author?

I’m going to agree with Nathan, and not because I just met him at the Pikes Peak Writers Conference. The guy knows his stuff! Nathan is an experienced agent and has no doubt read thousands of queries.

Unless you’re already a big deal, the only time anything should be about you is in your credentials paragraph (or page, if we’re talking about a full proposal). My advice is to always open with a great hook about your book. It’s important to remember that some agents and editors don’t read past the first paragraph or two. Wait until later in the query to explain why you chose them.

If, however, you have a referral from another agent (most agents know that other agents don’t refer writers unless the manuscript is worth a look), you definitely want to mention it somewhere. One neat trick: use the subject line of your email (or even your letter) to mention the referral. For example: “re: referral from Sue Smith of ABC Agency”. This way you can still open with your hook (and maybe get them to pay attention even more!)

I did receive examples for my Guide to Query Letters of both (queries that opened with hooks and queries that opened with referrals) that lead to book deals. I think the key is that no matter which route you choose, don’t drag out the opening of the query. If you open with a recommendation or a “Why I chose you,” keep it short and sweet. No agent wants to wait until the sixth paragraph to learn what your book is about!

2) Erica Jong says in Fear of Flying something along the lines of, “I was taught never to open a paragraph in a business letter with ‘I’. But what else could it start with?” Poor ole Isadora never does figure out. Do I need to?

It’s not so much the word (letter) itself as how you use it. I think the point is not to come across too stoic unless, of course, you’re writing a book about formal business letters. Your opening paragraph or two should match the voice/tone/style of your book. Besides, you want to stand out in the slush pile!

Ask yourself this: Which would you rather read if you were a busy, bored agent/editor?

Option #1: “I am writing to you because I have written a book about a Japanese internment in Seattle. . .”

OR

Option #2: “I must admit I hate Asian stereotypes. You know the ones. Good at math. Hardworking. We all look alike. Come to think of it, the last one might hold water. After all, my father once wore a button that read ‘I am Chinese’ while growing up in Seattle’s Chinatown during WWII.”

I’d much rather read Option #2. Apparently, so did Kristin Nelson of the Nelson Agency. Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet (for which the query in Option #2 was written) by Jamie Ford sold to Ballantine.

Ford managed to capture his writing voice/tone/style in his query letter. He was still professional (the rest of the query included the vital info), but also interesting.

Is it possible to re-query the same agent with a different project? How long should I wait? Should I mention the previous query? Hope they don’t remember?

You can absolutely re-query the same agent—the key phrase being “a different project.” Don’t rewrite the same piece and send it back—unless they ask you to. But yes, by all means do send book number two when it’s complete. No need to wait.

I would mention the previous query only if the agent had anything good to say about it. A note like, “I like your writing style, but just didn’t feel like I could represent this with passion,” might indicate that the agent would bite on another project.

3) So now we’re at the whole point of my query, from my perspective, which is: “I’ve written a fabulous book! Please take it!” Some agents ask for a single paragraph about the book, and some even stipulate three sentences. How universal is that dictum? And can those three vital sentences (or more) be standardized as to what each should be about, for maximum efficiency?

Every agent is different, but the majority will ask for no more than a one-page query or a query and synopsis to start. I do see a lot of agents asking for the first thirty pages if they’ve heard your pitch in person (like at a writers’ conference), but I think for the most part they just don’t have time to read more than a page or two unless they already know they like your basic idea.

As for standardizing your first few sentences, I do think most queries can be the same. The only paragraph that would change in your query template would be why you chose that particular agent/publisher.

4) Given that this all has to fit onto one page and I do have other things besides my book to mention before the end of my query, what should the (frighteningly) brief description of my 200+ page opus focus on: plot? characters? voice? abstract description i.e. “charming, brooding, quirky, multi-faceted, riveting”? Something else, or a combination?

The query hook should match your book’s focus. If the book is plot-driven (thriller/mystery, for example), the query should be, too. If it’s character-driven, you still need to mention some form of plot, but you could put a tad bit more about the character in the query. This does not mean you write a character sketch or get into motivations and inner conflicts. The idea is to reflect your book’s overall focus in your query.

Two examples:

#1: In a mystery, you might just say that Jane Smith is a cop on the trail of a serial murderer—who recently killed Jane’s cousin. This shows motivation (justice/revenge) without saying it.

#2: In a character-driven book of literary fiction, you might need to mention a bit more about the protagonist: “Fifteen-year-old Susan is always dreaming up new ways to kill herself.” (Notice that in example #1, I never mentioned Jane’s age in the hook for the mystery. It’s not really relevant.)

Save the details for your synopsis. The query is only about enticing an agent/editor to request more.

5) What about comparisons to other books—some agents say they help, some say they hurt. They occasionally sound downright insane to anyone but the author. What’s the consensus? How about marketing myself a little along those lines, as in, “A bonafide page-turner. You won’t be able to put it down!”?

Ugh! Any good writer should be able to show an agent/editor that they’ve got a bonafide page-turner—not tell them. Let the writing speak for itself—even if it’s just a few paragraphs in the query for now.

As for comparing yourself to other books, I advise writers to stay away from comparing yourself to other authors and books. What I do think is fine is discussing the readership for a certain book’s genre. Citing, for example, that the Twilight and Harry Potter series have vamped up the teen readership’s interest in all things paranormal/magical. You’re not comparing yourself to those authors or your book to those books, but you’re showing that there’s a readership for them. I’d probably suggest using this more in your proposal than your query, though. It’s even better if you can find some actual stats about the readership.

6) You mention in The Writer’s Digest Guide to Query Letters “The Credentials Question”. There’s quite a lot being bandied around out there regarding the loss these days of the opportunity for me, the writer, to build my reputation, due to publishers’ expectations of debut mega-hits, which brings up the question of poor sales records. Given that, what should go into and—maybe more importantly—what should be left out of my author bio?

Published books in other genres (or on the wrong side of the fiction/nonfiction fence)?

Mention other books you’ve written for traditional publishers. If your previous books were in other genres, that’s okay. Better to show that you can write a book than not mention it.

Published books that didn’t do well? Published books long ago?

Don’t worry about sales numbers. A good agent/publisher will probably guess that the sales numbers aren’t about your writing skills or your ability to follow through—and those are two of the things you’re selling in your query letter. You’re not selling your previous book. If your other book(s) did well, even better. Mention the numbers. But many books don’t even sell out of their first print run so it’s not a deal-breaker if you weren’t on the NY Times Best Seller List.

Minor publishing credits or awards?

Definitely mention any writing awards, and publishing credits if they’re well-known publications or smaller but relevant to your book (e.g. If you sold three dog-grooming articles to small pet magazines and the book your pitching is about dog grooming, mention it!).

Attendance at writers’ conferences?

I wouldn’t necessarily mention that you’ve been to writers’ conferences or taken workshops unless you won some awards or were on the faculty.

My day-job or professional experience? (Only writing-related? Only if it helps authenticity? Only genre-related? Only the publishing credits discussed above?) My blog? My community service?

Professional and volunteer experience can go a long way, especially if you don’t have any/many published clips. Some examples:

• You’re a cop writing a crime novel
• You lived with the Amish to make your novel about the Amish more realistic
• You teach English, creative writing, journalism, etc.
• You have an MFA or other degree in a writing-related field
• You run an annual writers’ conference or author series
• You’re a single mother of 10 kids writing about a single mother of 10 kids
• You’re a marriage therapist writing a relationship (or romance!) book
• You’re a computer programmer writing a technology/spy thriller
• You volunteer at a teen shelter and are writing a book about a 13-year-old runaway

Are there any other potential items we haven’t discussed that act as red warning flags to an agent and should be avoided at all costs (like a nice, long list of other agents who already hate me)?

Some things that will be red flags:

• Mentioning that you’ve burned through agents
• Mentioning that you’ve self-published all your books
• Threatening to take your manuscript elsewhere
• Asking to meet with the agent
• Talking about movie or TV rights
• Explaining that you’ve already pitched to publishers on your own (unsuccessfully!)

One exception to the above: if you’ve self-published books and can explain that you did so because you had a major platform (and therefore sold many copies). My father is a good example of this. He sold several books to traditional publishers and then decided he’d rather get eight dollars a book than one dollar book, so he started self-publishing and sold books across New England for several years. Now he’s considering a “buy out” with a traditional publisher. FYI, these aren’t vanity press books of poetry. He was the first person in history to win the Bram Stoker Award for a self-published book!

7) I’ve always found business letters to be one of the easier forms of writing because they consist so largely of standardized sentences. Businesspeople are busy. They get the most out of a letter if they can scan it, register stock phrases or the lack of them, and move on. Given this, can you briefly tell me how and where to cite:

• recommendations from the agent’s client
• recommendations from other writers (not the agent’s clients)
• my reason(s) for choosing this agent
• “this is a multiple/exclusive submission”
• word count
• my other works that the agent might be interested in?

Again, my preference is to open with a hook about the book, but I’ll admit that I have several great query letters in my book that opened with a referral or a “why I chose you” sentence. (These are real queries that landed real book deals.) As a general rule, the most mundane stuff (“this is a simultaneous submission”) goes near the end. Word count, however, is easily slipped in after the first or second reference to the title. (For example: “ALL HAPPY FAMILIES, complete at 83,000 words. . .”)

As for other works the agent might be interested in, put them in the last paragraph.

Something like this:

1) opening hook (two paragraphs)
2) supporting info about the book (one paragraph)—word count, research
3) author info (one paragraph)
4) why you chose agent/recommendations/other works (one paragraph)
5) request to send manuscript/exclusive submission/thank you (one paragraph)

In citing a recommendation from another writer, should I include a full quote or just say, “I have it if you want it”?

I don’t think you have to include the quote. Something like, “Your client Deb Johnson read my manuscript and suggested I contact you,” should be sufficient. If they don’t believe you, they’ll contact the other writer.

Here’s a quickie: Do most agents expect to see book titles in all caps or italics?

My editor at Writer’s Digest listed all the book titles (in sample queries) in caps, but not italics. This is also how many of the query letters were formatted when they were originally submitted to agents.

9) How seriously should we take the stricture to use only Courier 12 pt. or Times New Roman 12 pt. in manuscripts, etc.?

I tell writers to stick to Times New Roman 12 pt. because it’s standard. Courier is fine too. The point is to use a font and size that agents/editors are used to reading so they’re not distracted from your writing. Fancy fonts are definitely out, and so is enlarged (or tiny!) print. Don’t make an agent strain to read your query. It should be about the letter—not the letters!

10) We know the one-page limit is carved in stone (unless I’m Molly Friedrich writing a fan letter to a potential client). But within that limit, is brevity really always best? When might it not be?

I advise writers that one page is best, but that queries for longer manuscripts (such as historical romance novels) can sometimes run to a second page.

Some other exceptions to this rule might apply if you have an exceptional platform that is worthy of more than one paragraph (by all means, if you have a way to sell 10,000 books immediately, say so!) or if your book is more complicated, such as a legal book on the changes in healthcare reform.

11) What is the general opinion regarding whether or not I should send a synopsis and/or first five/ten/twenty pages with my query letter?

Always follow the guidelines for that particular agency or publishing house. If you can’t find them in the Writer’s Market, check the web. Most agents and publishers list their submission guidelines on their websites. They have guidelines for a reason!

Wendy, thank you so much for your time. This has been absolutely a golden opportunity, and I really appreciate you sharing your knowledge of the industry with all of us out here in authorland.

Before we close, is there any one single thing that you think writers absolutely ought to know about query letters that we haven’t touched on here, any really huge Mark of the Rank Amateur to steer clear of, maybe something from your section on “Common Novel Query Mistakes” in the spirit of the late Leo Buscaglia, who said, “The one to listen to is the one who will say, ‘Honey, you’ve got dirt on your nose”?

The buzzword in publishing right now is “platform”. My friend Christina Katz (who actually got me this latest book deal!) just wrote a book called Get Known Before the Book Deal (Dec. 2008, Writer’s Digest Books). This isn’t just a plug for her book—it’s a direct message to writers: you will have to market your book! Long gone are the days where you could just write a book, speak at a couple local bookstores, and then start on book number two. If you can’t market yourself—and indicate so in your proposal—don’t bother trying to submit to traditional publishers.

The good news is that marketing your book is cheaper and easier than ever. With blog tours (a.k.a. “virtual book tours”), Internet radio shows, do-it-yourself websites, and free blogging, you can develop a following in your pajamas—for almost nothing.

(I am wearing my pajamas as I type this. Seriously.)

Do not assume that your work is done when you type “the end”. You need to sell your book to an agent (or publisher) and then to readers!

Anything, especially, to send us quick-stepping out right now to get our copies of The Writer’s Digest Guide to Query Letters? (I’ve already ordered mine!)

It’s very difficult to find query letters on the Internet that actually resulted in book deals. This book has several examples of good (and bad!) query letters for multiple genres. There’s also a great sample synopsis and a book proposal.

What better way to learn than to read real queries that landed real book deals?

Wendy will be checking in all day today and throughout next week to answer questions. Please feel free to either leave a question for her in a comment or email it to me!

Wendy Burt-Thomas is a full-time freelance writer, editor, and copywriter with more than 1,000 published pieces. The Writer’s Digest Guide to Query Letters is her third book. To learn more about Wendy and her books, visit http://www.GuideToQueryLetters.com and http://AskWendy.wordpress.com.

The trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk more” [Erica Jong].

I have a confession to make: I am a calculated risk-taker. Seriously, I have proof to substantiate this claim. I recently completed the DISC Profile Personality Test as part of a pre-employment application process. (For those who are unfamiliar with a DISC survey, the acronym stands for Dominance, Influence, Steadiness and Conscientiousness. The test measures one’s strength in each area and enables individuals to better understand themselves and others.) Staring back at me, on my results page, were the words “calculated risk taker.”

I remember a meeting several years ago with my former Director, Chris. I believe we were talking during my annual review and I proudly shared with him that I was, indeed, a risk taker. Obviously, he knew me well enough to challenge the idea and asked me to explain.

“I’m not afraid to take risks,” I declared and went on to say something like, “however, prior to taking action, I minimize undesired results by completing the research, speaking with the experts, analyzing the possibilities, and, basically, considering every possible outcome known to man.”

Chris retorted, “That’s not taking a risk. That’s completing a research project.” (Needless to say, I was stunned that my compelling argument had failed to convince him. Well, if nothing else, Chris is pragmatic!)

But Chris’ comment really did start me thinking about my attitude toward risk. I often recall our exchange when I’m contemplating a risky action. And even now, when I see the oxymoron “calculated risk-taker” used to describe me, I find it a bit amusing.

As a direct result of being unemployed and looking for a job, I have become more of a risk taker than ever before. You know the famous quote by Friedrich Nietzsche, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger”? I have found it to be emphatically true! So far, none of the risks I have taken have been fatal which, by default, means I’m stronger, right?!

I realize the entire country is a little risk averse at this point in the game. And I suppose with good reason. Certainly, there is a time and place for caution, but I wonder how much we are missing in our lives because we don’t dare risk it.

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.

To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.

To reach for another is to risk involvement.

To expose your ideas, your dreams before a crowd, is to risk their loss.

To love is to risk not being loved in return.

To live is to risk dying.

To believe is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

The people who risk nothing do nothing, have nothing, are nothing.

They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live.

Chained by their attitudes, they are slaves; they have forfeited their freedom.

Only a person who risks is free.

~ Poem quoted in “Dear Abby“

Go ahead: make the call, write the letter, ask the question, complete the application, jump the fence, challenge the bully, live the life, take the risk.

“Any life truly lived is a risky business, and if one puts up too many fences against the risks one ends by shutting out life itself” [Kenneth S. Davis].

Whatever you are, be a good one!

Deanna

Yesterday I gave some of the  reasons why I have enjoyed maintaining this blog, and what might tempt me to continue it (and the nice responses I’ve already had to that post make it even more tempting). I also noted that tomorrow’s post, to be mostly a list of previous favorites, may be my last. (Despite the fact that, as my brother reminded me, I said in passing back in December that I’d be blogging “as long as the power was on.” But hey, Bush and Cheney were still in the White House then; who knew we would  still have affordable energy four months later?)

Anyway, today I’ll explain why I’m moving at least partially leaving cyberspace. You probably won’t be surprised to learn that the biggest reason is the time involved. I loved how one respondent put it yesterday: “the beast that is online journalism,” even though what I do usually isn’t quite journalism.

On some days I have spent hours crafting a blog post that very few people would ever read. Oddly, by far my most popular post (in one-day numbers, not overall) was a four-paragraph piece I wrote in about 15 minutes just before going to bed one night. I typically spend anywhere from five to 15 hours a week doing this. During the past year I’ve written more than 300 posts, and have probably produced more words than were in my first and second books combined.

That’s time that I can now spend doing other things, including other writing. During the past year I have managed to write chapters for the country’s leading journalism history textbook and a forthcoming book about popular culture, but have other more personal projects in mind (including the books of fiction I mentioned yesterday). I might try to rework my doctoral dissertation into a book, if I find a publisher interested in the story of Samuel Day Jr. (the publisher of the Progressive during the 1979 H-bomb case).

I also have at least three other books I’d like to write–one that combines history, politics and journalism (the three areas that I studied for my Ph.D. and which of course also led to my most recent book), and a couple that would be exercises in literary nonfiction. Chances are I’ll also write more letters to the editor of my local newspaper, assuming it survives, and will continue to contribute comments to other people’s blogs. Though I don’t expect it, perhaps I’ll get an “offer I can’t refuse” to write something yet unforeseen.

Aside from writing, I might also get more exercise, play more golf, do more camping and fishing, watch more Seattle Mariners games, or spend more time doing nothing while sitting by the small pond I built in my back yard–mostly things that have the extra benefit of giving me more time with my wife.

Other activities that we or I have barely tried, but have enjoyed and might pursue further, include learning Spanish, kayaking, chess, ballroom dancing, and  learning to play blues harmonica. In short, I won’t live long enough to run out of things to do, even if I suddenly stop finding new interests.

In terms of teaching and technology, I intend to keep learning about it for the sake of (and from) my students. In a comment on yesterday’s post, one outstanding student noted, “I’m interested to hear about the ways you will hope to continue to show that to students if you are not blogging.” (That’s something else I should have thought to mention yesterday about reasons for blogging–it helps keep me accountable to the people I’m working for.)

A year has been long enough to learn what I felt I needed to learn about intensive blogging, and I intend to keep finding new ways of learning along with new ways of teaching. That’s also why a few years ago I briefly hosted a radio program. I never expected to become either a radio celebrity or an Internet star, but I greatly enjoyed both, and in both cases the learning experience was a main point of the activity.

Among the possibilities I’m now exploring are public access television, another radio program, and ways that I might incorporate technology into the aforementioned literary nonfiction projects. In the classroom, I’m bringing in more multimedia, and am seeking funding for flipcams to use in my reporting class. I also would welcome suggestions from any of you for ways to continue to improve my (and my students’) skills.

I do think it is important to try to recognize what you’re trying to achieve with an endeavor, and then to move on to something else when you either get reach your goal or realize that you never will. Of course that’s the same thinking that went into my fighting to get to–and then to get away from–the Presidential Inauguration back in January, and why I strongly dislike the fact that politicians are accused of ”flip-flopping” if they change strategies as circumstances change.

If I chose to keep with blogging, readership might have continued to rise. Over the past 12 weeks, I’m averaging more than 180 hits per day, but like most other bloggers I reached fewer readers in a year of blogging than I did in a week of newspaper writing. Yet despite the small readership, my natural competitiveness sometimes makes me take this too seriously. I admit that I check the daily traffic, and want it to keep increasing.

The positive aspect of my competitive streak  is that if I’m putting something “out there,” I want to be able to stand by it and take some pride in it. I’m more careful when writing an argument than when I engage in verbal exchanges. That awareness of “public vs. private” is also why I now make my reporting students post their work on a blog to be read by people other than just them and me.

And speaking of being more thoughtful: I’m a feminist male who was a teenager in the 1970s and who now teaches a “women and media” class, so yes, the Erica Jong reference in the title above was intentional. Those of you who are teaching or majoring in psychology, gender studies, or English lit can now feel free to start your analysis engines.

Besides having other things I want to do (and probably for the sake of continued growth, need to do), I also recognize that there’s already too much hastily written stuff whirling around cyberspace–and no shortage of people writing about the same topics I do. Many of them are idiots, of course–but many others are smarter than I am. Links to several of them can be found on this page, though I’d also encourage you to find some favorites of your own. I’d also remind you not to fully believe any of them.

I briefly considered trying to open the blog up to advertising as a further media experiment, but don’t want to feel obligated to write (even if I have been somewhat obsessive about doing so even without pay). Besides, despite the fact that for years it provided my salary, I hate most forms of advertising. I can’t imagine working hard enough at this to make a living at it, even if I didn’t already have a “real job” that I love.

I will keep the blog alive (as long as the power is on, brother Guy), and may occasionally feel moved to post something. I’ll keep using blogs as a part of my journalism classes, and will encourage students to create their own. I’ll keep reading and commenting on other people’s blogs, including those of professional journalists, academics, students and former students.

Of course if you enjoy my writing, I’d encourage you to read my books, especially the less-academic second one titled, The Conservative Resurgence and the Press: The Media’s Role in the Rise of the Right. Or just fire me off an note–if you care enough to find my email address (hint: check “About the blogger”) and send me something, I’ll answer it.

Even if I don’t write more posts, I’ll keep the blog so that I (and others) can keep using  some of the pieces I’ve written during the past year, and especially to provide easy access to the links I’ve put together. I’ll continue to add to those links from time to time as I encounter relevant sites in the ever-expanding blogosphere.

Thank you for joining me on part of my journey. I hope you enjoy your future travels in cyberspace, wherever they may take you.

     Peace,

                                         Jim McPherson