Every iPhone (or any other smartphone) owner must have had this: Every time you get out your phone your significant other starts yelling, sighing and the likes because she thinks you’re busting out your smartphone too much when you’re together. Gizmodo has created the solution: Follow this flowchart to determine if the time is right to get that phone out…

New Year’s Eve is just around the corner. (Can you believe it; it’s almost 2010.) And we all know that New Year’s Eve is synonymous with Champagne and sparkling wine. But do you know the proper way to open and serve sparkling wine? No worries, because I just produced this video to help you open and serve your sparkling wine like a pro by showing what to do and what NOT to do. (Don’t try this stunt at home, I’m a professional.)

I also suggest a couple of accessories from IWA that can help you open the bottle and keep the leftovers…like there will be any. HA! By the way, if you need sparkling wine, such as the 2001 Windsor Vineyards Brut, North Coast, Platinum Series shown in the video, it not too late to order some for New Years Eve.

Happy Holidays and a special thank-you to Bill and Cathy Fallis of Vine Tasting Wine Bar & Bistro in downtown Windsor, CA. for letting me use their beautiful wine bar for my video.

DON’T ATTRACT ATTENTION

The most important rules of behavior in the street are those against doing things that are conspicuous (James – read on!).

All people in the streets, or anywhere in public, should be careful not to talk too loudly (clearly she has never been to Brooklyn). They should especially avoid pronouncing people’s names, or making personal remarks that may attract passing attention or give a clue to their identity (…and clearly she has never met a theater major).

There is nothing that stamps the vulgarian more than advertising his possessions or achievements by loud word of mouth – anywhere! Not to attract attention to oneself in public is one of the fundamental rules of good breeding (yes, just like Palaminos).  Shun a loud voice, staring at people, knocking into them, talking across anyone; in a word, do not attract attention to yourself (I’m not sure what that means, but I’m pretty sure its just as rude as being loud). Do not expose your private affairs, feelings or innermost thoughts in public. You are knocking down the walls of you house when you do.

One should never call out a name in public, unless it is absolutely unavoidable. A young girl who was separated from her friends in a baseball crowd had the presence of mind to take off her hat and hold it above the people surrounding her so that her friends might find her.

Moral of story: Wear more hats.

Before I came to Dubai — I had a completely different mental picture of what it would be like here. I was actually a bit scared from all the stories I heard, mostly because everyone likes to exaggerate…makes the story just a tad bit more interesting. So I decided to compile the best possible travel advice from myself + different people from around the world who have ventured to Dubai be it for pleasure or business. Enjoy!

Recommended Time to Travel to Dubai

Between November and April when the weather is pleasant (temperatures in the low 30s) and the city is full of life. During the summer months Dubai turns into an absolute sauna with temperatures soaring up to 48°C

Traveling during Ramadan is a fascinating time to visit if you’re interested in Islam, but if you are planning to indulge in Dubai’s restaurants and bars, the conservative laws imposed during this time will seriously curb your options. Check the exact dates of Ramadan as they vary from year to year.

–Emma Gilmour

Activities you should not pass up

• Desert and Overnight Safari (from Eye of Dubai)–> No visit to Dubai would be complete without a trip into the desert. Such excursions, which are best organized as part of a group tour, offer a taste of the true heartland of Arabia. The majesty and tranquility of the desert can be experienced in a choice of exciting half-day, full-day and overnight safaris. These action-packed trips cover varied terrain ranging from desert to mountain and take in remote camel and goat farms and isolated villages. Highlights of a safari in Dubai may include the following:
  • Dune Driving –> Driving in sand is an adventure in itself, combining the excitement of a roller coaster ride with the challenge of remaining mobile on the shifting surface, courses in sand driving vehicles provided along with expert instruction.
  • Camel riding –> The Camel, a symbol of Arabia, is also a major tourist attraction. Camel rides from part of some tours and desert safaris. Tour operators and hotels can also arrange camel rides separately.
  • Exploring the wadis –> A popular pastime with both residents and visitors is known as wadi-bashing exploring the wadis or dry beds of streams that flow after the winter rains from the Hajr mountains. Many wadis offer scenes of unexpected beauty: attractive rock pools, some with water year-round, surrounded by greenery. Four-wheel-drive vehicles are required and are available for hire with or without drivers. As with desert driving, it is recommended that novices do not try their hands at wadi-bashing without expert supervision.
  • Sand-skiing –> Those with a taste for speed and enthusiasm for an unusual sport will enjoy sand-skiing down the dunes of Dubai deserts. Special skis are used and high dunes in the interior of the desert are chosen as slopes. Sand-skiing can be arranged on request or as a part of a full-day or half-day safari.
  • Desert feasts –> Particularly popular are safaris that culminate in spectacular desert sunset views followed by a traditional Arabian barbecue under the stars. These can be tailored to meet every taste from a romantic and peaceful experience to elaborate fun-pack evenings complete with music, belly-dancing, the smoking of hubble-bubble pipes and often a display of falconry.
  • Here are a list of some tour operators to try, I tried to write as many as I knew:
    • Alpha Holidays Tours & Travel LLC
    • Arabian Adventures
    • Continental Tourism
    • Desert Adventures
    • Desert Rangers for Tourism and Sports Adventures
    • Lama Desert Tours & Cruises LLC
    • Net Tours
    • Reem Tours
    • Royal Sands Tourism *no website* +971 4 3979995
    • Travco Travel Company
    • Voyageurs Extreme *no website* +971 4 3454504
• Ski Dubai –> Ski Dubai is the largest indoor snow park in the world and offers an amazing snow setting to enjoy skiing, snowboarding and tobogganing or just playing in the snow. Young or old, there is something for everyone, from the beginner to the snow sport enthusiast. Ski Dubai is a unique mountain-themed attraction that offers you the opportunity to enjoy real snow in Dubai all year round.
• Aerial Sightseeing –> Try Seawings Seaplane Tours. They take you on an aerial Dubai sightseeing tour in the world renowned Cessna 208 Caravan amphibian aircraft and provide private charters and corporate events to daily Dubai City Tours and overnight tour packages for tourists, residents and corporate entities throughout the UAE. You’ll get a chance to see Dubai as never before.

Dubai’s Cultural Melting Pot – When “yes” means “no” or “maybe”

Here are some tips and advice (compliments of the UAE Embassy in Washington, D.C. and DubaiCity Online Guide) on how to avoid cross-cultural misunderstandings by simply reading a bit about their etiquette. Middle Eastern society is generally considered both more formal and more traditional than Western society. People less familiar with the region should be aware of different rules of etiquette. Middle Easterners are also social and personable people who are interested in their guests and who expect their guests will be interested in them.

Social Etiquette

• Language
  • Both English and Arabic are the most widely spoken languages in the UAE, though because of its diverse expatriate population, visitors may also hear Urdu, Hindi or Pashtu. Arabic dialects are numerous, but several basic phrases are the same throughout the region, such as:
    • Salaamu aleikum (“Peace be upon you,” used like “Hello”)
    • The response: “Wa aleikum a-salaam” (“And unto you peace”)
    • Ahlan wa sahlan (“Welcome,” very common of Arab hosts)
• Food
  • The act of communal eating is a highly recognized outward expression of friendship in the Middle East
    • Do not eat with your left hand, which is considered unclean. Also, in many places, it is considered polite to leave a bit of food on one’s plate
    • Do not ask for pork or pork products. Muslim tradition frowns on consuming pork, and observant Muslims consume Halal food, which involves a particular preparation of the meat
    • Arab hosts will always offer tea or coffee. A gracious guest will accept the gesture
    • Observant Muslims do not drink alcohol or smoke. In the UAE, alcohol is served in most hotels but may not be available in local restaurants. If alcohol is not offered, it is better not to ask for it
• Women
  • Women traveling in the UAE are not expected to cover their heads or wear traditional Muslim dress. When visiting a mosque, women will be asked to respect Muslim tradition and wear an abaya and cover their heads. Often, this will be provided at the mosque
• Photography
  • Do not take photos in mosques or at military installations. If you would like to take a photo of a Middle Eastern person, especially a woman, ask permission first

Formal Interactions

• Personal Presentation
  • It is an insult to show the bottom of your foot to another person. It is best to keep both feet on the floor. Modest dress is best for men and women
• Boundaries
  • When asking about a Muslim person’s family, keep questions general and do not ask specifically about the spouse
• Handshaking
  • Men shake hands. Women should wait until the man extends his hand. Pious Muslim men may not shake hands with women. Pious Muslim women do not shake the hands or touch men who are not in their families. Rather, they might simply put their hand over their hearts to show their sincerity in welcoming the visitor
• Etiquette
  • Generosity and thoughtfulness are extremely admirable and respected in the Middle East and Arab cultures
    • If you are about to eat, even if there is only enough for one person, it is considered polite to offer the food. The offer might be politely declined, but it is important to extend the offer
    • Standing up for new guests and especially older, higher-ranking people is important. Typically, elderly people are greeted first. Men also are expected to stand when a woman enters
• Working Days and Weekends
  • In the UAE, Friday is the holy day and day of rest. Weekends are Friday and Saturday
• Concept of Time
  • The concept of time in the Middle East is generally seen as fluid, and many Middle Easterners are more relaxed about when an appointment or event ends or begins, both at work and at a social gathering. Visitors should always be on time or notify the host if you will be delayed because of traffic or other reason. But it would not be unusual for visitors to be kept waiting
• Interaction between Males and Females
  • It is common to see men walking together holding hands, but men and women generally do not unless they are married or related

Religion

• Islam
  • Islam is the predominant religion in the UAE. It is based on five pillars: Profession of faith, Prayer, Fasting, Charity and Pilgrimage
    • Muslims pray five times a day: dawn, noon, afternoon, sunset and night. Muslims may pray in public places. In the workplace, a room or space is usually designated for prayer
    • In the fall, Muslims observe a full month of fasting and festivities, called Ramadan. During Ramadan, Muslims abstain from eating, drinking and smoking between sunrise and sunset. When visiting during Ramadan, refrain from eating, drinking or smoking in public or in front of staff or business associates. Food will be available at hotels for non-Muslim guests. Do extend the traditional greetings of Ramadan, “Ramadan Kareem” (“Happy – or blessed – Ramadan”)
    • During Ramadan, families and friends break their fasts together at a huge meal called iftar. Do accept an invitation to iftar. It is a wonderful experience and great introduction to family life in the Middle East
• Other Religions
  • The UAE’s Constitution declares that Islam is the official religion. However, the UAE government follows a policy of tolerance toward non-Muslim religions. There are a number of Christian churches, as well as a Hindu temple complex

Today I board a flight to LA toting both my carry-on luggage and hopefully, my best behavior.  I always brace for the impact of encountering airline passengers; when people are treated like cattle, they can hardly be blamed for reacting like baboons.  Here, rules of engagement for the most ruthless form of travel.

Pre-flight
Awkward Situation: Despite the airline calling for people to board by seat rows, 150 people are clustered around the gate, jockeying to get to the front.  You seem only to have two options:  shove your body through the masses like a teenager at a Jonas Brothers concert, or literally be the last person to board (forfeiting your access to overhead bin real estate).

Solution: Follow traditional traffic rules.  My brother-in-law, Phil, (who will be traveling with us tonight) works at Swerve, a driving instruction company.  He says most people on the road should already know the common-courtesy rule of “Each one lets one.”  The same applies here.  As you move like so much human sand through the hour glass, let one person go in front of you and then someone else lets you in.  We hope.

Takeoff
Awkward Situation: You are finally seated and prepared for takeoff, when the person next to you reveals the undeniable fact that they are a Chatty Cathy.  Your eyes glaze over at the prospect of speaking for two hours with a total stranger whom you will never see again in your life.

Solution: Engage in minimal small talk until takeoff, wherein you pull a book from your bag and show it to the Cathy, saying kindly, “Have you heard of this author?  She’s supposed to be fantastic.  I’ll let you know how it is!”  And then promptly open it.

Beverage Cart
Awkward Situation: It’s your first official day of “Christmas break” and you and your friends are eager for a little yule-tide cheer — in the form of a beer.  Or wine.  Or cocktail.

Solution: Plane rides are not the time to party-hardy.  When you’re stuck in a stationary position and can’t even converse with more than the two people next to you, you’re not in a place to have too good of a time.  Just have one drink and pay with cash.  Order quietly so you’re not obnoxious.  Don’t ask twenty questions to see what brands they carry — check ahead of time by looking in the airline guide in the pocket in front of you.  Then raise a glass and cheers to a safe flight.

Switching Seats
Awkward Situation: The person next to you asks if you would please switch seats with their spouse so they can sit together — but said spouse is 15 rows behind you and in a middle seat.

Solution: If you can swing it for a short flight, consider it your good deed of the week and say you’d be happy to help.  If you are already sitting with your own spouse, kindly explain that you understand their situation but you would like to stay with your traveling companion.  Also, even if you aren’t traveling with someone, you’re under no obligation to move seats.

Bathroom Break
Awkward Situation: You’re practically bursting at the seams after four diet Sprites and two hours of resisting the urge to visit the dreaded airline bath-closet (how could we call that a room with a straight face?).  But there are three people already clustered around the stewardess area waiting their turn.

Solution: It depends on your seat.  If you’re middle or window, get up as soon as possible to expand the amount of time between disruptions of your seat mates.  If you’re aisle, wait until there is only one person or no line at all before hopping up.  Also, keep in mind that the people in the unfortunate seating of the last few rows of the airplane shouldn’t have to stare at your backside that hovers directly in their faces as you wait for the bath-closet.

Warm thanks to those of you who sent in great etiquette conundrums.  For those of you who have yet to inquire, feel free to ask about your awkward situation at wordsbecomeone@gmail.com.

Disguised by its author as a Vampire vs Werewolf drama, underneath this film in its most organic state, is a story about decisions we make regarding our quest for true love. And what it takes to protect it, when the miracle happens…meaning, when IT finds you. Because Love chooses you.

What’s fascinating about Twilight and the phenomena around its success, is the focus on the 2 lead actors. I don’t know about you, but the blank stare and lack of expression that omits from Bella doesn’t attract me at all, but then you realise that ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’. No?

Quite unknown and obviously youthful, Kristen and Robert have exposed their real-life relationship which obviously has developed from their silver screen tension. Clearly Robert Pattinson is the heart-throb of nearly every teenage girl on the planet. And included in this group are Gen X and Baby-boomers who are happy to reminisce on such days when innocence of a first love flourished. Robbie has by-passed the Hollywood code of conduct and rule book, to draw in his co-star with chivalry, gentlemanship and respect. Wow – those are words not used nearly enough in the media these days, but the question remains…are they here to stay or are we going to have another Rihanna and Chris Brown saga?

Pattinson is to me, very uncomfortable in real life. He’s shy, awkward and with his angular face washed of the Vampire makeup of the alluring character Edward Cullen, the dangerous predator disappears and the true person remains. Feeling comfortable in your own skin must be one of the most difficult life lessons, and yet many of us blokes don’t get it until we’re starting to get that salt and pepper look on top and we give in. Oh well, youth has eluded me so I may as well just accept my look. Yes! Do that! But do it now.

The Vamprish style has always been controlled by black. Black isn’t a colour, it’s a shade. So it will sit well on anyone. Because the pupils of our eyes are complimented and the composition of this shade brings focus to the face. The timeless look of this style is in the fusion of loose fitting jeans, ties, vests and tailored jackets. Absolutely no jewellery. The best palette is charcoal, grey, deep blue, black, metallic and white. And as for the hair – that ‘just got out of bed’ look is the go.

www.menstylepower.com

This short Irish Tost is a alway proper Etiquette and good manners for any Holiday toast this Christmas.

Here’s wishing you more happiness.

Than all my words can tell,

Not just alone for Christmas but for all the year as well.

Behavioral expectations at a musical play are not on the list of things-to-learn for many people. However, they are not really all that difficult — most are common sense actually — and employing them creates a vastly more enjoyable experience for your fellow viewers. In all actuality, you may even find yourself able to more fully enjoy the play as a result, since you will be devoting more of your attention on the play than the (your) distracting behavior.

Recently, I went to see RENT at one of our local community theaters with my roommate. His behavior during the play was so distracting I found it extremely difficult to enjoy the show. I was completely embarrassed at his unabashed display of disruptive, and just plain rude, behavior. What I found most disconcerting was that he should have known better — he has been in so many plays and shows himself that I would think he would know how to act as an audience member.  I guess I thought wrong.

Dear roomie #1: just b/c you know the actor, it is NOT ok to catcall their name during the song 9:07 PM Dec 2nd . Yes, sadly, he called the actor by his REAL name both during and after the performance of the solo number. He “whooped” and “woo hoo”ed the poor guy on stage. On this note, it is important to understand that when actors put themselves into a role — all the better for the audience as we can really get into the characters if the actors have truly become them — it is very distracting to them when someone calls out their real names. As an actor, I find this extremely distracting and it is nearly impossible to stay in character when this happens. Sure, it’s a community theater production… It is a production all the same. As an audience member, I find it quite difficult to keep my focus on the show. It is no longer a fantasy I’ve immersed myself in, it’s suddenly just some people singing, dancing, and acting on a stage.

Dear roomie #2: no, it isn’t ok to ask me questions every 2 minutes about “how does this version compare to NYC?”9:09 PM Dec 2nd . Again, sadly, he asked me (during the show) no short of 50 times how each and every nuance of each and every actor and each and every song compared with the Broadway version. It really isn’t important for you to ever have seen RENT to understand this. Common sense would dictate that a community theater version of ANY play or musical is going to fall short of what you would see in a professional show. So, 50 times I had to say sotto voce, “let’s talk about it at intermission/after the show.”  It may also be apropos at this juncture to state that his idea of communicating quietly is somewhere between stage whisper and regular volume. Common sense would also clue one into the fact that I am, out of politeness, at the very least, not going to compare the community version with the professional version (which I was fortunate enough to see from front row, center before it closed on Broadway) in front of other theatergoers. It may have been good, but of course it wasn’t as good as the professional version I saw in NYC. It was a silly question at its inception… 50 times later, it became simply, “would you please shut up now?”

Dear roomie #3: no, it isn’t ok to sing along…besides you don’t know the lyrics (I know them, and i’m not singing..take a hint)9:10 PM Dec 2nd . Ok, this is one that I KNOW a lot of people have trouble with. The songs from a Broadway show are catchy — if they weren’t you’d probably never have had the opportunity to have ever heard of the show in the first place. RENT came out 14 years ago. I’m sure anyone who is even a little into musicals can sing along with a few (if not all) of the songs in the show. But again, we go to a show to watch and listen to others perform. Humming along QUIETLY might be ok, so long as you are humming so quietly that nobody, even the person sitting next to you, can hear. However, full-out singing is never acceptable (except for during the curtain call of SPAMALOT, which is sadly no longer on Broadway, when they expected the audience to join the cast in a theater-wide version of “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life”). Additionally, why would you even WANT to sing along when you don’t know the words? Not only are you distracting from those on stage who have worked hard learning the words (and characters, and blocking, and staging, etc) so we could hear THEM perform, you look like an idiot because you (a theater lover) don’t even know the lyrics to RENT?!?

There are many items of etiquette I did not discuss, but they are, as I said earlier, all common sense. The best rule of thumb when you are out for an evening of theater — including (non-rock) concerts, plays, musicals, opera, etc. — is to act as though you would want others to act so that you can have the best possible experience. Performing Arts were created so that spectators could remove themselves, even for a little while, from the doldrums of everyday life. If you are, by your ridiculous behavior — whether intentional or not — are distracting others in any way, you are disallowing them to do so. You are taking the experience away from us and reminding us of all the ridiculousness we have to deal with the rest of the time. In short, don’t.

It’s French. Like a ticket for admission. So there is a club, right? And you need a ticket to get in. This ticket is a promise you make to other people: I won’t hurt your feelings. I won’t ask you questions that you can’t answer. I won’t make you uncomfortable by introducing you to something pretty wild, or gross, or both. This ticket is “a code of behavior that delineates expectations for social behavior according to contemporary conventional norms.”

I think it means, “I promise not to surprise you, unless it is your birthday and you have already made it VERY clear that you like surprises.”

Some people don’t want to be in the club. They burn their tickets like a draft cards, like something, shrugging, “that nobody really needs”. The culture club that requires the ticket calls them “rude, frank, direct, blunt, edgy, in-your-face” or, my preference, when used correctly, “punk”. Some people don’t even know that the club exists until they are shocked by it’s sudden saturation level and terrified at their inability to be understood.

Some even think this ticket, when tossed and forgotten, will express how menial being in the club is to the people around them. Is not caring really an expression of egalitarianism? Do you think it is socially wrong to be observing things out loud like a child? When my daughter brings me my sock, and says “mama! sock!”, what am I teaching her by agreeing? “Yes! That IS my sock! But someday, that won’t be enough, dear, you will have to talk about the weather, (or not, if it offends someone!)”

There aren’t many people like you, but Opal Whiteley was one of them. I remember your strength supreme. She spun the world upside down, with her spirit. I remember your apartment and how we listened to so many records in it, made tea and coffee. The unparalleled FUN of our superparty. Who knew it would later grow up into a blog?

After all this time, can you imagine how many bridges, I have burned, quickly rebuilt, called it good, and bolted for boat waiting out in the knee-deep water? I still haven’t figured out what to do about the Hurt Feelings Club. I still run. But I did learn one thing. If Justice matters at all, then I have a tip, I suppose. When we hurt another person, and they react, (this is only if alls fair) it IS our right to know precisely what we have done inappropriately in order to correct this behavior in the future. But that’s it! It’s still in my head. It is just an amendment to my own social contract. Like, ‘never refuse a glass of water’ or ‘don’t wear pj’s to a wedding’. I never go to weddings and I must admit, I lifted that directly from here.

I think people agree to communicate in all sorts of ways. (Like this, for example). We are all writing our own story as we go along, just kind of making it up, and some people play at appropriate behaviors with greater facility than others. You are the most southern Southerner I know to exist. Shall I go into the “Southern Sensibility” discussion prompts I recently learned? Protecting our privacy feels different, depending on where we grew up. I also recently learned that I have a different set of boundaries than most people. Mostly because of some jobs, namely, the job of delivering my baby and the subsequent beautiful bag she had been in. When Alexandra held it up in the light, she showed my the general design which was crafted like a tree of life; this insane membrane with spooky veiny lines drawn to show the roots going down and the branches going up.

Maybe your beauty is so foreign to some that they cast off the idea of a tall lady savior and chock it up to their own delusions. What amazes me is how innocuous negativity is…most of the time, people will just destroy themselves, never trying to rage against the dying of the light. Some of us go gentle into just about anything, if it succeeds to distract us from unpleasant feelings.

Wise men, good men, wild men and grave men. Of these Humors, we are the wise man and the wild man and we won’t go because you are too busy over there forking lightning with your words and I’m catching and singing the sun.

Guess what?

You, the children and animal family, are, perhaps intimidating? Everyone “seems” to have friends. Just like everyone “seems” to have enough money. It’s a grass-is-greener situation. And feeling nervous trying to keep your mouth shut may be what you need to feel. It certainly doesn’t have to be that way, because you never submitted your ticket to this specific cultural reality. Me, neither. However, I refuse to keep Portland, or any other city, weird. That is a bumper sticker I would not mind never seeing again.

You keep your mouth shut if that’s what you want, but you do not stop writing for an instant, Miss Faith. Don’t.

And there is no “always get what is okay to say and what is not okay to say”. Nobody gets to have that knowledge. Think of all the inappropriate things we have had to do to be allowed to vote! (Okay, that was a while ago, but you remember…It falls on Leo’s birthday, right?)

Do you draw yourself from the mirror, or photos? Memory?
Will you draw me? Let me know if you need anything; a photo, a memory, or me.

Enjoy your cup. Use your right hand and stick your pinky out at a 45 degree angle.

What a Lady!

I have always considered drinking during work hours as unethical. But my job has turned pretty stressful these days and sometimes I feel like I need about 2 shots of *something* before heading back to work. I’d never do it, but I have several coworkers of the mind that think, “It’s ok to have one.”

A supervisor in my area said today, “I need a pretend drink because your boss doesn’t think I should have anything.” My boss said, “Just don’t pretend ‘drunk’ and you’ll be ok!”

It made me laugh, but I wonder what everyone else’s thoughts are? In school I learned you followed the lead of the big wig at the table. If he (or she) got a drink, it was OK for you to. But, these days I would disagree. I’m not sure I’d trust myself to get just one at lunch… especially given the amount of crap I have to put up with!

#1 – The first rule of Fight Club is, you do not talk about Fight Club.

#2 – The second rule of Fight Club is, you DO NOT talk about Fight Club.

#3 – If someone says stop, goes limp, taps out, the fight is over.

#4 – Two guys to a fight.

#5 – One fight at a time.

#6 – No shirts, no shoes.

#7 – Fights will go on as long as they have to.

#8 – If this is your first night at Fight Club, you have to fight.

The world is full of rules. In fact, you could even argue that rules make the world go round. We’re governed by laws, traffic rules, Rules of Engagement, King K. Rool, rules of thumb, Eight Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter, 30 cm rulers, and King K. Rudd and so on, and so forth.

Then you have social conventions, thousands of unwritten social protocol that you just need to ‘know’ about to be able to function as a ‘normal’ person in interactions with other human beings *shudder*.

And then, much like in Fight Club (a movie I haven’t actually seen) you have even smaller micro-societies with MORE rules of governance.

As this really dodgy, broad introduction quasi-implies, this blog is about rules. Exciting stuff, I know.

I was talking to someone online who was complaining about his attempt to play Street Fighter 4 in the city, he whined that as he played, someone challenged him and subsequently beat him, therefore knocking him off the machine. His main gripe was that the guy “never asked” before putting in his $2 coin as if there were some necessary requirement that he do so.

Street Fighter is inherently a competitive game, there is always a winner, there is always a loser (except for rare situations in which there are draws in which case both players lose and the owner of the arcade cabinet wins). In the end, both people know where they stand on the food chain.

To him, I will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people:

Yes We Can Man the fuck up, Girl-pants.

The main purpose of even going to play Street Fighter in an arcade cabinet is to find other random competition in an environment without internet delay, a factor that heavily plagues online play in a game where fractions of seconds are literally the difference between success and failure.  Street Fighter, unlike sex, does not require consent.

There is no rule saying that you should ask the other person before putting your ‘credit’ in the ‘coinslot’. By even playing on the machine, you’re implying that you consent to being (metaphorically) raped by whoever walks along. The rather dubious argument of someone “asking for it” based on behaviour in the case of a rapist actually holds some degree of validity in this context.

If you were to condense the basic rules of Street Fighter arcade cabinet etiquette into a basic summary, it’s much like a pool table. However, it’s an extremely hardcore pool table where the winner reigns supreme as an Alpha Male and lives to fight another day against the next Beta Male that comes along to challenge the rule of his pride and the loser leaves $2 poorer, demoralized and questioning the value of his own life and his inferior levels of masculinity.

(The language is in no way sexist and male-centric, the vast majority of Street Fighter players are male. Within that sub-group, the vast majority of the best ones are Asian. Fact.)

To summarize In Haiku Form:

Two people enter
Whose Cuisine Will Reign Supreme?
Wait, that’s Iron Chef…

Like a pool table,
Coins are placed to reserve games.
The loser gets off*

*(The machine that is,
Not in a sexual way.
That’d just be weird)

Until next time:
It’s time to go, Au Revoir. But you can say encore.
That’s all there is, there isn’t any more.

(This was then meant to be linked to a YouTube video of the classic children’s-cartoon Madeline’s end credits theme, but alas, I could neither find that video OR the lyrics on the internet, so I remembered some that are hopefully correct.)

less-than-three you all.

January at the Edison & Ford Winter Estates is highlighted with Sneak Peeks, Rain Barrel Workshop , the annual Estates Tropical Florida Bridal Fair as well as a variety of other special programs throughout the month.  The January schedule of programs and events include:

Edison & Ford Holiday Nights, Through – January 2, 5:30 PM – 9 PM

The Estates holiday tradition continues with “Edison & Ford Holiday Nights,” southwest Florida’s 34 year annual event.  The winter homes of the Edison and Ford families will be seasonally decorated with the “favorite things” of the Edison and Ford families.  The Edison Botanic Lab and Estates Museum will be open every evening with special exhibits as well as nightly holiday performances by area students and groups.  Group rates are available to groups of 20 or more people with advance reservations.  For more information call 239-334-7419. 

Home Schoolers: “Eager Engineers,” January 8, 1 PM – 3 PM

Home schooled students and their parents will be inspired by Henry Ford’s inventions and learn how simple machines become complex machines, as well as the science of building bridges.  The programs follow the Lee County mandated program and addresses environmental science, history and reading SOLS.  Pre-visit curriculum materials will be mailed to registered families.  Registration required. Estates Members $5; non members $15 (one adult, one child) additional $5 per child. 

Etiquette at the Estates:  Mina & Mimi’s Manners, January 9 & February 6, 11 AM

Mina Edison, wife of Thomas Edison, was a gracious hostess and interested in the well being of children and the community.  Following in this tradition, Etiquette at the Estates, includes one day (two hour) lessons in etiquette and social skills.  Children will learn proper introductions, handshakes and dining etiquette during a three course meal.  Class will be taught by Suzanne Willis who has been teaching similar classes at the Ritz-Carlton hotels throughout the nation.  Registration is requires.  Estates Members $40; non members $50. 

Wild Wizard Lab Show, “Eager Engineers,”  January 10, 2 PM

The Estates Wild Wizards present a series of lab experiments exploring some of Mr. Edison’s and Mr. Ford’s illuminating inventions.  Join the Wizards and explore how simple machines become complex machines as well as the science of building bridges.  Fun for all ages.  Estates Members are FREE, non members: $10 adults, $5 children and includes Estates Lab and Museum admission.

New Volunteer Orientation,  January 12, 10 AM

Join Estates staff to learn about volunteer opportunities, Estates policies and general Museum information.  This is a mandatory training for all new Estates volunteers but potential volunteers are welcome.

Sneak Peek Tours for the Public, January 14, 21, & 28, 10:30 AM

This season a NEW behind-the-scenes tour inside the Edison and Ford homes open to the public and Estates members.   These unique tours are offered at no cost to Estates members and $40 for non members.  In addition, lunch will be served riverside by the Ford Estate following the tour for $15 per person.  Due to the intimate nature of “Sneak Peek Tours,” space is limited and registration is required.  To become an Estates member call the Estates Membership office to receive free admission to the Estates and hundreds of museums and gardens throughout the United States, discounts and an inside look into the homes of two of the nations greatest inventors and their families. 

Docent Training, January 21, 9 AM

New Estates volunteers who are interested in becoming Edison & Ford porch, Lab and Museum docents, or group tour docents of the Estates grounds must attend this mandatory meeting.

Rain Barrel Workshop, January 23, 9 AM

Harvesting rainwater by using rain barrels has been around for thousands of years. Thomas Edison used cisterns and water tanks throughout his Fort Myers estate to help irrigate his gardens and to use for drinking water.   Join the Estates Horticulturist, Debbie Hughes and Tom Becker, Florida Yards and Neighborhoods for a unique approach on uses and construction of rain barrels and a tour of the Estates.  In addition southwest Florida artist, Marie Dyer will give a demonstration on painting your rain barrel to create a beautiful addition to your landscape.   Registration is required.  Estates Members $50; non members $55 and includes a rain barrel. 

Estates Tropical Florida Bridal Fair, January 24, 1 PM – 5 PM

The second annual Estates Tropical Florida Bridal Fair will be held on the beautiful grounds of the Ford Estate, southwest Florida’s premier wedding location.  With breathtaking water views, historic gardens and romantic sunsets the Estates is a perfect location for your special day.  Over 40 wedding professionals will be available to assist you as well as a bridal fashion show, dancing demonstrations, catering showcase and much more.  Cost: $5, FREE to brides.  Event is sponsored by Edison & Ford Winter Estates, Creative Events/Taylor Rental, Fort Myers, and Studio Six Eleven.

photo courtesy of Jamie Lee Photography

Coming in February: 

“Brunch with Mrs. Edison:  Living with a Genius,” February 19 & 20, 11 AM

Storyteller, writer, playwright and professional actress, Nan Colton will bring to life the remarkable and charitable Mina Edison with unforgettable tales of “living with a genius.”  Brunch will be served in the beautiful Estates gardens and garden hats are encouraged.  Reservations required, seating is limited.  Estates Members $50; non members $60.  Group rates are available.

You already did

Got this from an alert on Facebook. Once again, here they go changing things without notifying the users! When will they ever learn? What will it take to stop them????

IMPORTANT: If you don’t know, as of today, Facebook will automatically start plunging the Earth into the Sun. To change this option, go to Settings –> Planetary Settings –> Trajectory then UN-CLICK the box that says ‘Apocalypse.’ Facebook kept this one quiet. Copy and paste onto your status for all to see.

Net Etiquette rules for Twittering

• Check your spelling, grammar, or punctuation in your tweets. Most Twitters will not follow a person who does not post a bio. Do not be quick to follow someone who constantly makes elementary mistakes in their tweets. Your followers deserve that extra effort and a spell check.

• Just because someone follows you,  you do NOT  have to follow them back.  Net Etiquette advises that you follow people who interest you. Most Twitters who do not have profiles and bio are not worth following. If you want to use your Twitter effectively you will delete followers who obviously are selling something (sex, teeth whiteners, and increase you tweets) eventually these followers detract your ability to use Twitter effectively.  Since your followers are available to all, it is wise to choose your followers carefully. Your followers do reflect who you are.

• If you must tweet the same link more than once, at least change the lead in sentence.

• Think “What Can you Share”?  Not “What Are You Doing?” No one wants to hear when you are eating, when you are going to sleep, and when you having personal issues.   It is acceptable to talk about an exceptional  lunch, and even post a picture of it, there are plenty of foodies who find this makes Twitter interesting and fun.   A guiding rule when tweeting is tweet things that would interest you if tweeted by others.

• RT or Retweeting is more important than forwarding a tweet.  It truly contributes to the entire concept of the Twitter community as promoting people, sharing, and distributing is what twitter is all about. Retweeting can make or break your Twitter experience.  If someone tweets something that interests you and you think it would interest your followers, you retweet it for your followers.  Thus giving that person’s tweet credit, so people can see the tweet and then choose to follow that person.  The original person who tweeted might have 80 followers so only 80 people are exposed to the tweet and you might have 4,000 followers and by retweeting it you are helping the original person.  RT is a powerful way of sharing  as you increase that person’s exposure and distribute the tweet you felt was interesting.  The Golden Rule of ethics applies here.

• Be Polite, mind your manners.  The Internet sticks and Twitter is now Google indexed.

Etiquette is one of my favorite topics. Scratch that: Etiquette in the face of technology and our changing society is one my favorite topics. People do not posses decorum any more. It’s because our electronic interaction through social networking sites. It’s because of texting. It’s because of e-mail. They make social interaction mindless. They takes out all of the subtleties of words and speech. They abbreviate.  I’m definitely guilty of this offense, I’ve most definitely done my fair share of facebooking.

Enter FACEBOOK, ETIQUETTE, MEN, WOMEN, AND MANNERS.

Etiquette: Etiquette is a French word, meaning ticket (of admission), that appeared around 1750. In Britain, etiquette is associated with Queen Victoria’s reign. To be simple, the rules of etiquette describe what someone might do in a certain situation. “Etiquette says that you should wear black to a funeral.”

Manners: Manners are a totally different subject. Manners dictate how a person should act in a certain situation. “Manners say that one should be solemn at a funeral.” “You should always avoid a scene at any cost.” Public displays of anger are passe.

Both of these have, in the past, been associated with good breeding and class. Now, I think, in effort to do away with the stodgy symbols that also represent a class-system that we, as Americans, fought to break free from, we do away with fussy etiquette. Much of etiquette is class oriented. So, it is either unfamiliar to Americans, or it is a reinforcement of a noble class that we do not have here. Because of this we leave it in the dust; another victim of “progress.”

I urge people to consider this: When isn’t it appropriate to be considerate? One might say that the rules of etiquette consider the greater population and groups it applies to, making the follower instantly aware of his surroundings and how he fits into them in the greater scheme of things. True: you’re probably not considering anyone when you use a certain fork for a certain course of food in order to separate yourself from the lower classes. However, before we examine some more practical etiquette, let’s address our modern society.

Etiquette: What is the polite thing to do in a society with ever-changing so social structures? I think it’s important to realize that etiquette is a set of rules on which are universally agreed. Therefore it changes depending on what setting you’re in. This could vary by country. Example: As Americans, one of the highest praises you can give a performer is to whistle at them. It is terrible to whistle at performers in most other countries. In the old days, people were strongly defined by “who they were.” If you were a man, you behaved as one. If you were a woman. you sat like this. Children were to be seen and not heard, etc. If you observe people who still observe old-fashioned rules of etiquette, you will notice that it just happens. They don’t do it to be sweet or because their date will think they’re swell. They do it at the right time, on the dot, because it’s training.

Women: It’s difficult to talk about etiquette when it comes to modern romantic relationships because, as of late, we’re breaking more and more norms in this realm, too. It’s getting increasingly difficult to abide by mutually considered rules because the groups are being redefined again and again. Etiquette used to be easy because it described what a certain person from a certain group would do in a certain situation. EXAMPLE: If  you get into said cab with a lady and are a gentleman, you open the door for her, and then get in on the other side, because when the rules of cab etiquette were established women acted a certain way and dressed as certain way. 

Manners: Now, the modern woman might not be expecting a modern man to open the car door for her. For her Victorian counter-part, it was a given. Now, in order to pull it off, the opener has got to do it nonchalantly. That door has to open like he’s been doing this forever. He can’t feel awkward, or else it will be cheesy and he can’t hesitate, or else she, or anyone, won’t go with it. Etiquette is like a dance. You might have to lead the other person through the more complicated figures.

Men: However, what happens in the case of two gentlemen. What about when the gentleman is with gentleman friends? What if you’re a gay man going out on a date and you’ve got no idea what the fuck to do? Well, you do what any person does. You take your cue from the other person. People get really nervous about these kinds of thing and forget to treat the other person like a human being. Instead the fall back on “rules of etiquette”that aren’t necessarily in place anymore. I call these “rules of etiquette,” the ”rules of dating.” They include rules like the “don’t call her right away rule because you’ll seem desperate” rule. This is where manners come in. Manners are unisex and they cross time periods, I think. It’s about being considerate. If you come up to a door and you know there is someone behind you, you open it and let them go first. It’s just nice.

Online etiquette is one of my big pet peeves. It’s hard to make rules because it’s a fairly new medium of communication. However, with the increasing popularity of social networking sites, like Facebook and MySpace, the lack of etiquette on the web is spilling over into a lack of etiquette in life.

Meeting people for the first time is a hard one. In college you usually meet people in some sort of prefabricated way or when you’re drunk. You then proceed to add them on Facebook and then if you’re lucky enough to have classes with them or go to their events you’ll make friends. Hopefully someone you meet will turn out to be ”that special someone,” but what if they aren’t? How do you approach someone who you don’t know in a romantic way? Well, while it’s easy enough to find some way to accidently bump into them and have conversation, some people have resorted to seeing someone and deciding to let Facebook take care of the rest. FACEBOOK STALKING IS WRONG! While helpful, it’s really weird to know a lot about people you don’t know yet. I feel like we’re a generation of stalker friendly daters. Here’s tip/request: don’t look at peoples Facebooks before you meet them because it takes all of the mystery out of getting to know someone.

With the first interaction, it’s really difficult to summon the courage to get out the words; how do you do, what do you do, if you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be? However, it’s even more difficult if you answer all of those getting to know you questions without that person you intend to get to know. It’s makes it so that your interaction has to be on a higher level right away. It’s totally acceptable to Facebook stalk someone after you’ve talked with them a couple of times. You can get a quick refresher on things like major, and birthday; things you would have forgotten after the first meeting.

First meeting etiquette:

Etiquette says you should never ever talk about certain things: Money, sex, politics, and religion.

Manners dictate that you should never say things to offend or make someone uncomfortable.

EXAMPLE: Upon first meeting someone: What color where the underwear you were wearing to that party I saw you at in those pictures that were on your profile? WRONG! Correctly: Hello how do you do?

I think the easiest way to have an interaction with someone is to meet them in a place were they are likely to talk: Parties, bars, dances, etc. However, what if you just can’t seem to get a legitimate reason to talk with someone. This is where you make one. You’re at the grocery store and you spy a cutie at the pineapples, you might strike up a conversation about pineapple selection or the weather.

SMALL TALK: Many people say they hate small talk, but I think the art of small talk is just lost. Small talk lets people know who you are, and it facilitates a second meeting. If I meet someone at the store, I have two objectives. One is to get them talking. Obviously, I am a complete stranger and, in order for them to feel comfortable talking to me, I’ve got to make them feel like they have a reason. That’s it, you don’t have the reason created by a social gathering to talk, so you have to make up one. My second objective is to facilitate our next meeting. This is tricky, but if the two people talking are both attracted to each other (another reason to always appear a bit picked up), then this shouldn’t be terribly hard. This get’s into non verbal communication. How do you tell if someone is, A) into you, B) your type, and C) Not with someone else? Well this is all communicated nonverbally, my friend. Body language can be very telling. If someone has open body (Open posture, chest facing you, eyes on your eyes or lips) language this tells you that they at least don’t mind talking to you. You can also glean certain things off of indirect communication. People rarely answer questions straightforwardly. You can observe how they answer or what they talk about instead. If someone answers you in a nervous manner, or turns the conversation to themselves, this could be a sign that they are into you. They could be trying to tell you things about them so you will remember them. You should be able to tell when someone is just being nice, it sounds fake. Nervous laughter is the best. If someone pauses a lot and it seems like you have little to talk about, it could also be because they are too busy thinking about how awesome it is to talk to you. It could also be because they don’t really want to talk to you. 

I think the key is to just relax, and remember that you’re talking to a person, not a wall or a gallery of pictures that they’re tagged in.

The past several days I have been hibernating at home, dealing with a nasty cold that has used up all of my energy.  Between naps, I have been working through a stack of magazines that, during healthy times, rarely warrants a glance.

One magazine that has caught my attention is Traveler. Each issue includes a section entitled Etiquette 101, where readers are provided guidance on how to properly behave in foreign countries. The insider tips and observations, which cover business interactions and casual encounters, make for interesting reading.

In the December issue, the publisher discusses proper etiquette one should observe while visiting Russia. Two suggestions, that have far-reaching implications, caught my attention:

1.  If something isn’t going your way — at the post office, at the hotel — politeness may work, but at some point you might have to stand your ground. “Don’t take no for an answer.”

2.  Contrary to popular belief, Russians do believe in lines. They became experts at lining up during Soviet times. But they also figured out how to look for an opening.

Don’t leave too much space in front of you or someone will conclude that you don’t want what’s at the head of the line badly enough to mind if they cut in front of you.  Yell out, “Ya poslyedniy!” (“I’m last!)  if someone tries it.  It’s considered a helpful reminder to the prospective cutter.

What great recommendations, regardless of the country or situation you find yourself in.

Depending on how badly you want it, sometimes you just have to stand your ground, refuse to take no for an answer, and remind others not to cut in front of you in line.

Whatever you are, be a good one!

Deanna

MP3 Audio (28:13)

I am so psyched this episode turned as well as it did. I would like to get a new episode up every week or so and I’m still trying to figure out a release schedule (does today work for you?), so bear with me while we sort out the details.

Just the same, this is a super episode and I think you’re going to enjoy it. This week, we’re talking about Contrast Showers and how they speed up recovery, The Gymboss as a better interval timer, seven ways to stay on track with your workout routine during the holiday, plus I answer viewer questions. How about that!

Let’s get to it.

QUICK TIP: Contrast Showers
Right after your workout, get into the show and stand under cold water for 15 to 20 seconds (you can also count breaths if you don’t have a clock handy). At the end of those 15 to 20 seconds (3 or 4 breaths), turn on the hot water and stand under that for 30 to 40 seconds (4 or 5 breaths). Alternate 3 or 4 times back and forth between cold water and hot water. Total time is about 5 minutes. Contrast showers work because it increases blood flow and helps flush out toxins from the muscles.

COOL STUFF: The GymBoss
This small device clips on to your pants and allows you to time any interval you’d like between 1 second and 1 hour. You can even set it for alternating work and rest periods of different lengths. It even has a vibrate setting so you can still listen to your favorite workout music. The whole thing runs on a single AAA battery and costs $19.95. The best place to find the Gymboss is on the company website or Amazon.

FEATURE SEGMENT: 7 Tips For Training During The Holidays

1. Set weekly, monthly and quarterly goals
2. Start slow and build in intensity
3. Do something you like doing
4. Plan for missed workouts
5. Keep yourself accountable
6. Reward yourself occasionally
7. Hire a personal trainer

VIEWER QUESTIONS: Thanks Patrick!
Q: What can do on the weekends when I don’t feel like going to the gym, but want to avoid the weekend lazyfest?

Simple—Get off your ass and go outside! Sports, walking the dog, hiking—they all count as physical fitness. Even a full day of walking around town doing errands counts as a (recovery) workout. There are so many physically demanding activities out there, I’m sure you can find at least one that you can enjoy. Make it a social event and have something interesting to talk about on Monday at the office.

Q: What are the dangerous movements I should absolutely avoid when doing an ab workout?

Stay away from crunches and hyperextensions. Most people use the wrong muscles when performing these exercises, making an already weak muscle group just that much weaker. The core was designed primarily to resist flexion, extension and rotation. It provides a stable channel through which power and force transfer between the upper and lower limbs. An unstable core will lead to unstable lifts. End of story; no way around it. You just won’t have the support you need. Work on planks and the Palloff press instead.

If you have questions you want answered on the show, shoot me an email or hit me up on twitter.

QUESTION OF THE WEEK: How many types of muscle are there? And which one is most important for strength and fitness?

The first person to leave a comment below with the correct answer gets 2 free workout assessments with me, valued at over $150.

# # # # #

If you liked the show, please share it with 4 of your friends and tell them to sign up for my mailing list so they can get all the latest info on new episodes and special offers. Remember, this show is available in both video and MP3 audio formats, so you can watch or listen to it from almost anywhere.

I’m just getting started with this show and I want to make it valuable for you. What do you like? What do you hate? What would you like to see in future episodes? Please leave your comments below.

Until next time,
Stay fit, stay strong.

Have you completed your holiday tipping yet – or at least strategized as to how you plan to recognize those who have made your life a little bit better or easier this past year?  If not, time is running out!

On another note, have you felt the urge to spread a little extra joy by beefing up your regular tips?  Or…are you feeling pinched by all the extra holiday expenses?  Do servers find that their tip percentages are greater or reduced during the holidays?

Personally, I feel moved to be  more generous at this time of year  - caught up in the spirit of the season – and “pay the price” in January!

A little lesson of savoir vivre (August 2008)

[ Via GetBackToWork, via Copyranter,] the Etiquette Poster Campaign from Tokyo Metro.

Remember the Yamanote Gaijin Terrorists ? Slogans are in english for those international suck3rs.

Since I saw the Yamanote Halloween Train few years ago, I tought that “non otaku” gaijin should go back to their countries (basically Australia and US) since they don’t seem to like japanese culture and they are abusing the freedom they got in Japan (what would happen if they do this kind of thing in NY?!)… I just hope they stay out of akiba and keep hangin in Roppongi (the gaijin ghetto).

Frankie @October 28th, 2007

Yer, and I have a week off just before, so much riding shall be done! It’s not that I am trying to put off my x-mas duties, such as shopping for other people, wrapping gifts and such, no, rather the opposite. I thought this year I might run all those errands on a bike, or spin bike in some cases. Just to get some extra time in the saddle.

I have to say, if work let me bring a trainer in and spin for a few hours a day whilst I attempt to solve some of the world’s problems, it may make some days more bearable than they are. Sadly though, I doubt that my co-workers would appreciate a constant zipping noise added to the occasional scream of pain and puddle of sweat that would surely manifest around my cubicle. Add to this the smell, and I would definitely be crossing the threshold of mild mannered office worker to full blown corporate douchebag in a manner of minutes. Still, I would view constant spinning as a better alternative to those who sneak out of the office to play a round of squash, hit the gym for 30 mins then jog back to the office minus showering, deodorizing or in some extreme instances, changing out of their inappropriately short shorts and sweaty wife beaters… but hey, what do I know about office etiquette…