Evan Bourne / Photo by Julian Holtom - Wikipedia.org

Hemos estado recibiendo peticiones de varios compañeros para publicar una nota que supuestamente, apareció hace algunos días, en el MySpace de Evan Bourne (Matt Sydal),  en donde el luchador hablaba bien de TNA, se quejaba de WWE e incluso comentaba las multas que había recibido, este es un fragmento:

No es seguro todavía, pero recibi recientemente una multa de $ 2.500.
No hablare de eso, para evitar rumores. Me preocupa sin embargo debido a la WWE no ha estado impulsandome mucho en los últimos tiempos, y sólo están utilizandome para cargarle una lucha de equipos a otro luchador de jobber, aunque he estado con la empresa de hace tiempo, y siempre me rompí el alma trabajando. Entonces un tipo como Sheamus llega y recibe una oportunidad por el título WWE, porque es compañero de entrenamiento de Triple H.

En Súper Luchas no lo mencionamos cuando apareció porque el texto es evidentemente FALSO, cualquier luchador que hiciera esos comentarios quedaría fuera de WWE de inmediato para no regresar nunca, y no sólo eso, difícilmente otra empresa podría confiar en él con comentarios de esa clase

Tomar como fuente MySpace es tan malo como tomar como fuente Wikipedia en Español (donde las bromas son demasiado frecuentes), son pocos los MySpace confiables, (como el de Matt Hardy), afortunadamente sitios como Twitter ya tienen verificación de identidad y ya es más difícil que la gente escriba algo suplantando identidades, como ocurrió en este caso

The night opened up with the All-American American Jack Swagger returning to ECW.  The former ECW Champion stated it was good to be back where he got his start and to see changing faces in Land of Extreme but that the more things change the more they stay the same referencing his distaste in ECW Champion Christian and ECW Original Tommy Dreamer. With that he said he looked forward to winning the ECW Homecoming, facing Christian at the Royal Rumble and becoming the ECW Champion once again. 

Zack Ryder vs. Tommy Dreamer

Literally wasting no time as Swagger hadn’t even left the stage, the LI bro and lovely lady Rosa Mendes entered the arena. They gave swagger the nod and made their way down to the ring. Ryder, having lost his Homecoming qualifier to the returning Kane gets his chance to follow up on his goal to end Tommy Dreamer.  Good overall match ending with a surprise Zack Attack following a hotshot off the ropes and Dreamer removing his shirt (seriously, not making this up) with Ryder picking up the win.  I don’t think this’ll end the feud as Tommy Dreamer isn’t an easy person to get rid of and I’m looking forward to what this combination can bring in the ring. That and Rosa is saying ”woo woo woo” to the crowd at ringside.

An interesting thing I’ve noticed in recent weeks though is that there is zero crowd response during a Dreamer match unless he’s got the upper hand. Archer and Ryder both have given great performances as strong heel personas against the ECW Original but it’s like the crowd left to go get DX merchandise leaving only the hardcore ECW fans from the pre-WWE years.

 The Abraham Washington Show w/Trent Barreta & Caylen Croft

As usually Tony Atlas got introduced to do the introduction except the past week or so Savannah’s doing it as the new ring announcer.  Abraham Washington comes out does his standard intro complete with “applause” sign then proceeds to tell some opening jokes.  I swear I half expected Courtney Taylor to chase a guy in a tiger suit again (see RAW) with as many Tiger Woods jokes Abe was dropping.  He then introduced the newest additions to the New Superstar Initiative Trent Barreta & Caylen Croft.  After upsetting Abe by jumping on his furniture and touching the set the duo told everyone what set them apart from the rest of the tag team division and that at next years Homecoming they’ll be competing in it as the Unified Tag Team Champions.  Then they called Tony old after he tried to relate to the young superstars which actually got some good heat from the crowd.  So good job Tony, helping yet another talented superstar get over with the fans.

 ECW Homecoming Qualifier

Vance Archer vs. Goldust

The intense Archer continues his “Masterpiece of Agony” this week defeating Goldust and moves on to the 8-Man Homecoming Finale.  The match as whole was great and people really seem to like Goldust. I mean, it’s a little scary how much they like him. Either way, I’m interested to see how Archer fairs in the Finale as his whole thing is the methodical decimation of the ECW roster.  I kind of expect him to either win the whole thing or be one of the last two men eliminated.  If he goes out early you might as well just team him with Tyler Reks now.

 ECW Homecoming Qualifier

Jack Swagger vs. Yoshi Tatsu

Before the match Swagger came into ECW GM Tiffany’s office to say hi.  They shared some playful banter only for The Hurricane to interrupt.  Swagger proceeds to ask the masked avenger of Tuesday nights what exactly his super powers entailed.  And apparently The Hurri-Powers are as limitless as the imagination.  So there you have it, The Hurricane is a physical construct of our collective imaginations.  I approve.  The Hurricane left making fun of Citizen Swagger’s lisp.

 Swagger also visited ECW Champion Christian give Yoshi Tatsu some last minute preparation involving some funny translation jokes and Tatsu calling Swagger a jackass.

As I stated last week, there’s no way for this match to be anything less than stellar.  I’ve yet to see a bad Swagger match or Tatsu match to date and it didn’t happen this week when the two collided for a spot in the Homecoming Finale.  Swagger dominated most of the match with quick flurries by Tatsu and just when you thought one of them was going to take the victory they’d counter or kick out.  This happened so frequently toward the end that I think the crowd silenced from having a collective brain aneurysm from not knowing who was going to pull this one out.  In the end, Swagger’s frustration and cockiness was his down fall as Tatsu lands his high kick from out of nowhere yet again winning the match by pinfall.

 With the Homecoming Finale half filled by Ezekiel Jackson, Kane, Vance Archer and Yoshi Tatsu next week we can look forward to a double dose of returning favorites as Evan Bourne and Matt Hardy come back to the Land of Extreme.

 Superstar of the Week

I’m a little torn this week as to who to choose: Swagger was a great returning superstar and his segments were spot on but he lost his qualifier in an epic match against Tatsu. And then there’s Tony Atlas, who’s hilarious and made a big impact on Baretta & Croft’s crowd reaction. So after consulting with fellow 1/8th Nelson contributor The Masked Marvel, we decided that Jack Swagger though losing his match deserves this week’s Superstar of the Week.

Christmas celebrations on WWE television have made for some classic moments.  Who can forget Santa Claus giving Doink the clown the gift of a diminutive sidekick in Dink?  What’s that?  You can and have?  Alright, well what about Stone Cold Steve Austin stunning a Santa who’d been surly with a kid from the audience?  Unfortunately moments such as these were few and far between on Monday’s Holiday episode of RAW.

                On paper the show had everything a good Christmas special should: guest stars, mistletoe, elves, a slew of Santas, and an ending note of cheer and togetherness.  The execution, however, left a lot to be desired.  The main flaw of the program was its guest host, baseball star Johnny Damon, brought nothing but apathy and awkward exchanges to the table. 

       As he made his initial entrance, Damon seemed slightly rattled by the heat he received.  In response to the boos, he boasted unconvincingly of his major league championships and then delivered the single worst DX crotch chop since Pat Patterson’s days as a corporate stooge.  His confidence undercut, Damon went on to deliver an opening monologue whose awful writing was compounded by the host’s stiff, muddled delivery.

                The middle of this excruciating first segment witnessed the requisite abrupt interruption of the guest host.  However, the sound that (mercifully) cut Damon off mid sentence was not the music of Randy Orton, or the Big Show, or even Abe “Knuckleball” Schwartz but the tape-looped roar of a tiger.  As the audience sat wondering if they were about to witness the ill-advised Return of Sable Lesnor, the camera revealed the “source” of the roaring to be a man in a tiger costume rushing to the ring, a woman in step behind him, shouting angrily and brandishing a golf club as she gave chase.  Honestly, who thought that it was a good idea to put this television?  The sight gag was just a cheap, overblown way of saying: “Hey, Tiger Woods cheated on his wife!”  Damon chose to stand at the turnbuckle, phoning in an awkward look of incredulity at the scene.  Then, as the angry “wife” chased the tiger backstage, the host tried desperately to win the audience’s favor by introducing a gaggle of festively (and scantily) dressed Divas.

                (As any fan knows, it’s become WWE tradition to acknowledge every holiday, major sporting event, and just about every other cultural observance by dressing its Divas in relevant garb and letting them roll around the ring for a few minutes.  I can’t wait for WWE’s celebration of Susan B. Anthony’s Birthday, when Kelly Kelly takes on Maryse in a Sexy Suffragette match.)

                Damon showed up in sporadic backstage segments, throughout the show.  None of them were much better than the first one.  In most he interacted with a succession of “Secret Santas,” played by a handful of WWE legends, including Sgt. Slaughter and Dusty Rhodes.  The best Secret Santa was Mike Rotundo, in his Irwin R. Shyster gimmick.  I.R.S got perhaps the biggest pop of his career, when he told Damon that “You baseball players are the biggest tax cheats of them all.”

                Immediately after suffering the taxman’s disdain, Damon was attacked beneath the mistletoe by May Young, who also got a great pop.  Although I disagree with many of the borderline exploitive situations, in which she’s often cast, I always like to see Young.  Moreover she always seems to have a good time, especially in this appearance.  It was genuinely remarkable how the 86 year old Young rolled around on the floor with an athlete in his prime and then rose to her feet unaided.  Let’s see any male wrestler demonstrate such toughness and agility when he’s nearly 90. 

The only moment of real import in which Damon was involved was his brief interaction with Vince McMahon, in which he asked the chairman if there was any truth to talk of Bret Hart’s hosting RAW in the near future.  Vince declined to comment, referring to Hart as a “bah humbug issue” before slinking away.

                This segment solidified the pattern by which WWE is building interest in Hart’s impending return.  Each host inquires of McMahon about the validity of the Hart rumors (the joke being that an outsider would do so fearlessly, ignorant of what a hot button issue the Hitman is for the boss).  McMahon then dismisses the inquiry and walks away brooding.  It’s becoming clear that when Hart does return, a feud with McMahon will be the initial program he works.  Hart and McMahon have never played on their infamous differences together on scripted television, and it will be very interesting to see how they finally do so.  Say what you will about the lack of resolve Hart’s demonstrating by coming back to the company he so passionately disavowed in 1997, but his and McMahon’s reimagining their legendary legitimate feud in the theater of kayfabe will be compelling TV.

Elsewhere on the show:  The unfortunate centerpiece of this edition of RAW was the two part “Little Peoples’ Court” segment, which saw DX defend themselves against Hornswoggle’s charges of assault, before a judge and jury of little persons.  Like the opening segment, this one was abysmally written, but Michaels and Triple H did the best they could with the material and managed a few genuine laughs.  The little judge handed down a guilty verdict (seemingly without consulting the jury), which DX found troubling… though I don’t know why, seeing as how the sentence seemed to be merely pelting by Styrofoam cups.

                The segment was notable for one reason:  It was the first time that WWE extended the telling of a story under the ring.  Under the ring has become a mystical realm in the world of WWE.  To lift the banner and venture under the squared circle is to pass through the looking glass, down the rabbit hole, into a bizzarro world where leprechauns dwell, where balsawood tables and thirty foot ladders manifest endlessly, where evil clowns go to clone themselves mid-match, and where diminutive judges hear assault cases… apparently.

                Michaels and Triple H crawled beneath the ring to find that the space it concealed was impossibly huge (and looked suspiciously like the arena’s backstage area).  It was a cool idea, but there’s so much more they could have done with it.  (How about a Doink or two meandering around?)  And the assembling of a little person jury was a missed opportunity to cast some past performers in cameos.  Imagine Lord Littlebrook, Max Mini, the Haiti Kid, and El Piratito serving on the jury, in a court presided over by the honorable Judge Tiger Jackson.

                Among all this silliness there were actually a few wrestling matches strewn about the broadcast.  The best of them saw John Cena defeat Jack Swagger by submission.  Following Cena’s extremely ill-conceived glorified squash of CM Punk last week, I didn’t expect this bout to be very competitive, but I was gratefully surprised.  Swagger got in some good offense and even had some time to strut over a hurting Cena.  In the end however, he tapped out to an STF.  Booking Cena to defeat talent the caliber of Swagger and Punk by submission is unwise.  Tapping out makes them look weaker than a quick Attitude Adjustment and three count would.

                Another good match pitted Kofi Kingston, Evan Bourne, and Mark Henry against Randy Orton and Legacy.  There were some great spots in this match, most of them courtesy of Bourne, who week by week garners a greater and greater crowd response with his highflying arsenal.  In the end, however, it was Kingston who scored the pin on Ted Debiase, after knocking him out with a Trouble in Paradise.  By the way:  Did Michael Cole refer to Mark Henry as “the world’s biggest cheerleader” during this match?  Much like Billy Graham’s handle for Hulk Hogan, “the Man with the Bionic Biceps,” I don’t think that nickname’s going to catch on.

                In the broadcast’s final segment, the Big Show called the “real Santa Claus” out to the ring, insisting that he grant the big man’s Christmas wish.  Santa answered the call and came to the ring accompanied by perpetual arm candy the Bella twins… who were of course dressed as slutty elves.  Big Show offered up his knee for St. Nick to sit upon and then heartwarmingly made his Christmas wish: to have his “best friend and tag team partner Chris Jericho” back on RAW.

                Santa turned out to be Jericho himself.  He was exposed by Hornswoggle, who emerged from beneath the ring, his own DX army of little people in tow.  When Jerishow threatened to rough up the meddling leprechaun, DX made the save, and the Polar Express wreck of a Holiday special was punctuated by the long awaited coming together of DX and Hornswoggle.  What you weren’t long awaiting that?  Nice try WWE.

                On the Official Lateral Press Ratings Scale, this episode of Monday Night RAW gets:

Two Stars (out of Five)

                (Note:   I’ve just been handed a memo claiming that Tiger Jackson was in fact contacted to appear in the Little People’s Court segment but had to decline, as he already had plans of traveling to New Zealand Monday, to visit his sons Luke and Butch for the Holidays.)

Monday Night RAW: December 21, 2009

Last night TNA held a PPV with one of the greatest matches I’ve ever seen, Kurt Angle v. Desmond Wolfe. I meant to do a full recap for the show, but just didn’t have time, maybe in the New Year. Tonight, we have RAW hosted by some baseball player, should be a better show then last week’s three hour snorefest. I love the fact they pulled Hogan and Foley out of the opening montage, and replaced them with DiBiase & Jeff Hardy. Oh no, tonight we get Little People’s Court, I really hoped they forgot that, and Swagger gets to job to Cena, yippee!

1. Justin Roberts introduces the guest host Johnny Damon, from the New York Yankees. He comes out to a mixed reaction, if he’s from the Yankees, why is he hosting in Florida? Was no one of interest from Florida available? Damon acknowledges the mixed reaction, and doesn’t quite seem sure of what he’s supposed to say. Damon says they have secret Santa’s tonight, to grant wishes, and then we hear a tiger growling. We get a stupid Tiger Woods joke, are they serious about this garbage? Five minutes in and I’ve had enough already, is that a bad omen for tonight?
2. Melina, Kelly Kelly & Gail Kim v. Maryse, Jillian & Alicia Fox. The diva’s come out in Santa outfits; Maryse looks great in her outfit. I’m surprised to see Gail, was Eve busy? We start with Jillian pounding on Kim, but she misses a charge to the corner and Gail gets the offense. Gail up top with a cross body for a near fall, Jillian misses the hand stand elbow and Gail on her shoulders. Gail gets hit with an electric chair drop, and Maryse tagged in. Maryse hits a backbreaker on Gail, but Gail reverses the head to the buckle and tags in Kelly. Kelly hits an impressive dropkick and then the Hurricanrana, followed by the legdrop for a near fall as everyone runs in. Maryse picks up Kelly, but eats a dropkick and gets pinned by Kelly. 2.25/5 Typical multi-diva TV match, fast and pointless. Alicia & Melina didn’t even get in the ring legally, so whatever. I’m skipping the Little People’s Court crap, couldn’t give a damn about this. The diva’s match got three minutes and the court skit got nine minutes, with more coming later, curses.
3. Randy Orton & Legacy v. Evan Bourne, Kofi Kingston & Mark Henry. So does this mean the team of MVP & Henry is done, and why is Kofi in a six man now? We start with Kool-Aid Man and Orton; Orton slides out and tags Rhodes in. Cody brought in the hard way and then DiBiase gets nailed. Cody off the ropes and press slammed high over Henry’s head, Henry tags in Kingston who starts with a series of kicks and stomps Rhodes down. Kingston misses the corner dive, and The Viper tagged in as we go to commercial. We come back to Rhodes and Kingston, Rhodes has Kofi in a chin lock, Kofi fights out and backdrops Rhodes before tagging in Evan. Bourne with a double dropkick on Ted & Orton, Bourne hits the shooting star press on Rhodes but DiBiase saves the match. Orton pulls Bourne out and clotheslines him on the floor before rolling him back into Rhodes. Rhodes makes a tag, and Orton begins stomping on Evan, Orton gets a near fall then tags in Ted DiBiase. DiBiase with a delayed vertical Suplex, much like Davey Boy Smith, then gets another near fall as Evan Bourne showing his tenacity. Evan starts his way free and gets caught with a vicious lariat, it just about spun Bourne around in mid air. Legacy double team Evan Bourne, but Bourne hits a nice kick on Ted DiBiase and both men are down. Orton gets the tag, and so does Kofi as the rivals are going at it, Kofi with a dropkick, then the missile dropkick, as Kofi hits the boom drop for a near fall. Henry takes out Rhodes, as Orton tags DiBiase in and DiBiase hit with Trouble in Paradise for the win. 3.5/5 nice six man tag as all three guys really shined tonight. This is how I like Mark Henry, in small doses like six man tags. We go backstage to Damon with Eve, Bella Twins and Santa Claus, Carlito comes in and him and Eve under the mistletoe. Carlito goes to kiss Eve, and closes his eyes and out comes Masters. Carlito pulls off Santa’s beard and it’s the Slaughter. Damon makes the match Carlito v. Masters for tonight, then looks up and see’s he and Slaughter under the mistletoe. We go back to the Little People’s Court again and waste another five minutes. These skits are just so stupid, like who actually found this shit funny?
4. John Cena v. Jack Swagger. Ok, seriously, who thinks Swagger has a snowball’s chance in hell of winning this match? I wonder if Cena’s going to squash Jack Swagger like he did last week to Punk that was despicable. Swagger starts out with a series of nice amateur moves, that’ll confuse Cena, ah hell you can confuse by asking him one plus one! Swagger hits the shoulder blocks in the corner and chokes Cena down, Swagger looking good, it won’t last. There it goes as Cena hits the bulldog and then drops Swagger over the top as we go to commercial. We come back to Swagger with a double shoulder pulling move on Cena, nice, Swagger continues the offense, well he’s done better then Punk did. Swagger catching Cena in a side slam for a near fall, Swagger locks in the double arm submission on Cena again. Cena powers out of the submission and hits the belly to belly Suplex for a two count, Cena runs in to Swagger’s foot and Swagger back in charge. Swagger goes for the Vader Bomb and connects for another near fall, which should’ve been the win. Cena slowly gets to his feet and Swagger goes for the gut wrench, Cena counters out with a backdrop and both men are down. Cena hits a pair of shoulderblocks, as he forgets that he was getting pounded on for the last ten minutes. His comebacks are so stupid, worse than Hogan’s. Cena goes for the FU and Swagger able to counter and hits a nice powerslam. Swagger puts Cena on the second rope and goes for a superplex, Cena counters out and knocks Swagger down then goes for the legdrop, but Jack avoids it. Swagger goes for the Vader Bomb; Cena rolls out of the way and locks in the STF for the win. 3/5 Cena’s comebacks are so bad, he gets beaten up, hits one or two moves and wins, he never sells that he was pounded on, just frustrating. So, are we even going to see the new champ tonight, or what, we’re at the half point and no Sheamus. We go back to Damon & Santa Claus, this time played by Dusty Rhodes. One of these times it’s going to be Santino, as Dusty laughs out comes MVP. MVP wants to make 2010 the year of MVP and wants an opportunity to earn a title shot, as he asks for MVP v. Sheamus tonight. Damon says it sounds like a homerun of an idea for tonight and the match is on. So I guess we’re going to finally see the new champ, about damn time.
5. Carlito v. Chris Masters. Why does Carlito get some little respect in this company, it’s annoying as hell as Carlito is a great athlete, while Masters shouldn’t even have a job. At least Masters comes out with Eve, who looks great. The match starts with Chris Masters going for the Masterlock right away and Carlito gets the ropes, than hits a cheap shot. Carlito with a sleeper on Masters, who powers out putting Carlito in the corner, then hits a powerslam. Carlito counters the Masterlock, goes for the Backstabber, countered and back to the Masterlock for the win. .75/5 boring squash match, only good part was seeing Eve coming to the ring, Carlito squashed like Duane Gill tonight. Eve pulls out mistletoe and plants a big kiss on Masters, as we go to the Tribute to the Troops recap. Tribute was an ok show, for what it was, but I can’t be bothered to recap it. The matches were not bad, but nothing spectacular, the recap just now showed all the best parts. We now go backstage to the Bella Twins with the Tiger, MVP and Santa IRS. Miz demands all sorts of gifts from Santa, and IRS responds and says Miz can be audited. The fake Tiger Wood’s wife comes out and attacks the fake Tiger, lame. IRS says baseball players are the biggest tax cheats of all. Damon is under the mistletoe and out comes Mae Young who jumps on Damon, yuck how wrong is that, only Lawler can laugh about this garbage.
6. Sheamus v. MVP Sheamus looks great as the World Champion, much better then Captain Overrated John Cena. Next week’s guest host is some rap guy, that’s not impressive to me either, just about as bad as this baseball guy. MVP needs his old bouncy house intro; I miss that thing, just looked so cool. Someone with a sign that says “Santa give Sheamus a suntan”, that was cute. Sheamus starts out quickly pounding the daylights out of MVP; MVP gets nailed with a vile short arm clothesline. MVP tries to fight his way back, but Sheamus takes him back down and hits the Chokeslam/backbreaker on MVP. Sheamus misses the charge in the corner and MVP starts to work over Sheamus and hits a knee to the face. MVP goes for the big elbow drop and Sheamus with the pumpkick followed but the crucifix powerbomb for the win. 1/5 another squash match as MVP got very little offense in, and Sheamus destroyed. Sheamus should’ve done that last week during the six-man tag, but this was good. Cena makes his way to the ring as Sheamus grabs his title; Cena says he wants his rematch. What does Cena think he has Money in the Bank suitcase as he wants the rematch now? Sheamus leaves the ring and walks back up the ramp, as he should, why should he defend the title after he just wrestled a match? We go backstage to Johnny Damon with Vince McMahon, who’s making fun of Damon being kissed by Mae Young. Damon makes the main event for next week, Cena v. Sheamus and then asks about Bret Hart hosting RAW, Vince says that’s a humbug question.
7. Miz v. Santino Marella. Santino comes out dressed as Santa Claus throwing gifts to the crowd as Miz watches on. Santino grabs the mic and starts singing “Santino Claus is coming to Town” and says he has a list and checked it twice and doesn’t feel like being nice. Santino nailed by the Miz, Miz just starts stomping Santino, and chokes him on the ropes. Miz hits Santino with a neckbreaker and follows it up by pounding Santino in the corner. Miz attempts the corner clothesline and Santino avoids it, the knocks Miz down, Claus to the second rope and gets caught by Miz. Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale for the victory. 1/5 yet another glorified squash, this is looking like WWF Superstars in the 80s now. Miz grabs Santino’s sack and stomps on it, the kicks it out of the ring. Great now a recap of the Court thing, another waste of about four minutes, lame. Big Show headed to the ring to call out Santa Claus and demands his wish.
8. Big Show comes out to the ring and grabs the microphone, Show says that Damon promised one Superstar will get his wish granted tonight, Show says that will be him. Show demands Santa comes to the ring now, and here comes the Bella Twins with Santa Claus, would be cool if this one was Jericho. The voice certainly does seem to be Y2J; I may have predicted that correctly. Big Show invites Santa to sit on his lap, Santa asks Show if he’s been good and Show says yes. Santa asks Show what he wants, Show says he wants his best friend and tag partner Jericho back on RAW. Jericho Claus says Chris Jericho will be back on RAW next week, and then we get D-X Hornswoggle who comes in the ring and rips the beard of Santa to reveal Jericho. Horny slides back under the ring as Jerishow in the ring surrounded by a mini D-X army; this is stupid on so many levels. Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler sound like idiots laughing at this crap and thinking it’s funny. Jericho and Big Show start pounding down the midgets, Big Show side slams a midget and picks him up by one foot and throws him to the refs. Jericho gets a hold of Hornswoggle and throws him in the ring; Horny does the Shawn Michaels stomp and hits Sweet Shin Music. Big Show picks up Horny and D-X come running to make the save. Jericho thrown over the top rope and a double groin kick on Show, followed by a Suplex. HHH has the mic, and says they should squash Hornswoggle. Shawn says its Christmas and we can’t, Triple H says for Christmas he wants to squash him, Shawn replies by saying the little guy is growing on him. Shawn asks if they can keep him, promising to walk him and clean his cage. Triple H says that D-X has a height requirement; Shawn says he has an idea, and Triple H tells Horny to drop the court thing and he can be the D-X mascot. Gee, how politically correct is the WWE? Shawn says they have two words, and Horny yells out “Suck It”. What a freaking stupid waste of air time this was, lame beyond all belief. No matter how bad people say TNA is, at least it’s not as lame as this garbage.

Match Recap

1. Melina, Kelly Kelly & Gail Kim beat Maryse, Jillian & Alicia Fox 2.25/5
2. Randy Orton & Legacy lost to Evan Bourne, Kofi Kingston & Mark Henry 3.5/5
3. John Cena pinned Jack Swagger 3/5
4. Carlito squashed by Chris Masters .75/5
5. Sheamus crushed MVP 1/5
6. Miz destroyed Santino 1/5

Well, it was better than last week’s show, but the D-X garbage was just too much, over half an hour was wasted on that. Having three squash matches back to back was a little much too; at least it wasn’t four, which was what I expected. Glad Swagger got some offense in, but seriously Cena’s comebacks are just so stupid. The Legacy & Orton six-man was a good match, as was Cena & Swagger, the divas were nothing major as usual, and the rest was throwaway. Judged on its own, not a good show, but compared to last week, it was ok.

Matches consisted of two numbnuts kicking each other in terrible fashion while a referee stops the action with every clean hit as the fighters score points.

Wasn’t a true test of skill or ability, just a few clean hits landed being tallied until someone kicked you in the chest enough times to become the winner.

Watching boxing was a man hugging fest unless cruiserweights were fighting, and even then, it was mainly boring, long, drawn out fights that went all the way to 12 rounds.

So what could provide all the fun of sports and the entertainment value of an interesting storyline as in movies, theater and TV shows?

Wrestling!

I’ve been a fan of wrestling since as far back as I can recall, though I was on and off during my later teen years, I’ve been a die-hard fan of Wrestling, mainly WWE , since Hogan was the man, through the Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels days, and now when guys like John Cena and Triple H are the top dogs and wrestling is way more entertaining than sports.

I’ve seen wrestling go through its ups and downs throughout the years from storylines and episodes as boring as lifetime movies to epic matches and shows as exciting as big Hollywood blockbusters.

The point of this little column, for lack of a better word, is to just point out a few comparisons between the wrestling when we were kids, and the wrestling we see on TV now and start-up a point of discussion on them.

To begin, I’ll point out some bigger issues right off the bat.

One of the problems back then, in the 80’s, early 90’s, was under exposure, decent wrestlers were always knocked off air time in favor of less talented, big name wrestlers, for example, Ricky Steamboat was 10 times the performer Hogan was, but also 10 times worse on the mic and charisma scale. Let’s keep it real, Hogan sold tickets, despite the fact that he really had the worst wrestling moves ever.

Steamboat probably couldn’t carry the show as well in that regard.

There were also less shows aired back then, Before RAW, I think on Saturday nights they had the main event, and on Saturday morning they’d air WWF Superstars which was mainly generic wrestlers getting beaten up by mid to low card performers.

You’d never see a major player there and no one cared for the “real” wrestlers, any of them that were really standing out didn’t really get much air time on the bigger shows, so they’d be off the radar faster than anything.

Now one of the main things that pisses me off is overexposure of programming and writers still under utilizing real talent.

But it’s not as bad as it could be, I guess….

With the programming, it’s ridiculous, on my last count, there are like four WWE shows a week, RAW, Smackdown, ECW and AM RAW on Saturday mornings, not to mention that there’s a PPV at least once a month, some months two PPV’s, such as January and April.
It’s nuts.

It used to be that there was only five big PPV’s in a year, and those were HUGE events, not just beefed up episodes of their regular weekly episodic programming shit.

There was the Royal Rumble, Wrestlemania, King of the Ring, SummerSlam, and Survivor series, and these events were where titles changed hands, rivalries were begun, ended and managed, and exciting moments were the norm.

Now it’s just a venue to exchange titles when needed, at the massive and frequent costs of paying customers.

I’ll have you know, titles used to be exchanged every now and then on episodes of RAW, I haven’t seen that in ages, last time was when RVD lost it to Edge after winning it from Cena at ECW One night stand quite a few years ago.

Now , never.

In the case of under utilizing talent, it’s nowhere near as bad as it used to be, but you’ll notice that obviously, the major players are the main focus, guys like Evan Bourne show up for a 3 minute match and that’s the end of it for the next 1-2 weeks, no real push from the writers, despite the stellar performance.

Guys like Randy Orton, Cena and Edge, while they do put on great shows, aren’t taking the risks that the newer talent is, and therefore, are becoming tiresome to watch.

I do feel Wrestling has evolved, it still has it’s boring shows as well as it’s great ones, and though there’s not much to watch in terms of brand name since WWE owns everything, and it’s either WWE or TNA, no more WCW, ECW, etc, just one or the other, it’s still good stuff , and has recently been getting a lot better in comparison to a few months ago.

I do wish they’d cut the damn PPV’s down, since you waste 40-50 bucks each month (or more) only to be disappointed at how shitty the event was.

Aside from that, at least now there are tons of top guys, totally not like the handful as in the old days, now we have top dog heels as well as top dog faces, so you aren’t limited to either Hogan or Ultimate Warrior (Face) or whoever their enemy was at the time.

Remember the divas back then?

My god, now they are actually hot, before they were pretty damn average at best, if not downright ghastly.

I also remember for a time, all the main eventers were lard asses like Yokozuna, Mabel, Tugboat, Earthquake, now it’s all about the jacked bodies.

I couldn’t get through an episode of raw without having man tits jiggled in my face for half the show and winning the WWE title only depended on how fat and heavy a superstar was and whether or not the top Face can lit his fat ass, or be squashed under his weight.

It kind of sucked for a time during the 90’s because of that disgusting shit.

Getting down to the meat of it all though, I would definitely say it’s better today than yesterday, but a few things need to be changed, as I pointed out above , and with that in place, wrestling can become even greater than ever.

That’s my take.

What’s the general consensus from the crowd, what sign are you holding up on this subject?

I can’t believe I’m only just now seeing these figures.  They look awesome!  Look at the detail!  Rumors are 100 figures will be released in 2010 alone.  Also look out for entrance figures.  WWE Superstars in their entrance gear on platforms which play their theme music!  Awesome.  Some pictures of Wave 1 below.

WWE Monday Night RAW: December 14, 2009

After a very impressive PPV last night, and some new stars at the top, tonight should be a very interesting Monday Night Raw. Tonight is the Slammy Awards hosted by one of my favorite comedians, Dennis Miller, and the preview says there is a 4 man tournament tonight, which I assume the finals will be Cena v. Undertaker since there is no way Vince can wait till Wrestlemania for that. So let’s get on with the show.

We open the show with a preview of tonight’s Slammy Awards, and surprisingly no recap of the PPV. I assume that’ll come later, unless they plan to overturn the Sheamus win, which I can see happening. RAW is live and we have Undertaker v. Orton & Cena v. Punk, winners face each other for the Superstar of the year. Like CM Punk has a chance in hell of winning that.

1. Justin Roberts introduces our host for tonight, the great Dennis Miller. This guy is so cool and funny; when he left SNL is when I pretty much stopped watching. Dennis says after the pyro went off he’s deaf and incontinent. Dennis makes some jokes about the awards, Vickie Guerrero and D-X jokes. I think some of Dennis’ jokes are a little over the head of the crowd and especially Michael Cole. They show a picture of Cena & Obama and the crowd boos, and Dennis says one went thru a table, and one has brought nothing to a table. Dennis plugs the Tribute to the Troops show and his organization, which was pretty classy and cool. Dennis introduces our first presenters Jillian Hall, who looks amazing tonight, and R-Truth. Jillian is in a very nice black dress, and has a nice pair…of Slammy Awards! They are presenting the tag team of the year, I vote for Jillian for best tag team!!! Jillian tries to sing, and R-Truth cuts her off and tells her to shut up, what a jerk. Nominees for Tag Team, D-X (who probably wins), Legacy, Hart Dynasty (who I’d like to see win) & Jerishow (who should win). Jillian announces the winner is Jerishow! Nice to see the team who deserves it most wins, maybe this isn’t all kayfabed, sucks they lost the titles last night. Jericho is the most entertaining part of the WWE right now. Jericho says were you expecting someone else? He continues by saying he could feign surprise, but why bother. Jericho says he wants to thank two people, the cowardly Edge for getting injured, and himself, for choosing Big Show as his partner. Big Show says the microphone is made for shorter people as he has to lean over to talk. Show says he will retain, Jericho corrects him with regain, the tag titles in the near future. Chris says he is invoking their rematch clause tonight. We get the same three man team from last night, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole and Matt Striker. The go over the recap of last night’s PPV and Sheamus’ shocking win. Matt Striker says Tiffany and Teddy Long will present an award later tonight. We get the vote for diva of the year promo, I voted for Mickie of course!

2. Ruthless Roundtable v. Christian, Kane & Great Khali. William Regal, Ezekiel Jackson & Vladimir Kozlov in the ring and Regal has the microphone. Regal says despite what happened last week, they are on the same team tonight and he challenges Christian and two others for a match tonight. Christian comes out limping and introduces his tag team partners, let me guess Kane & Knox, and I was half right! I’m in the minority but I’m glad to see Khali back, I’m his only fan but I think he’s awesome. We start with Kozlov & Khali, Kozlov goes for a kick and Khali pushes him back, Kozlov goes for a takedown and a series of head butts, Khali catches him with a big boot. Kozlov takes in Zeke, who gets taken down and Christian comes in from the top rope with a crossbody. Christian nails Regal, but gets caught by Zeke with a backbreaker; Regal gets tagged in and gets pounded by William. Christian hits a forearm to make the tag to Kane, who destroys Regal with the side slam. Kane up top and hits the flying lariat for a near fall, as Kozlov break the pin and Zeke in, clotheslining Kane down and Kozlov tags himself in and eats a boot. Khali tagged in, hits the chop for the win. 3.25/5 I enjoyed the match, but I like 5 out of 6 of these guys, so I’m biased. Still a nice opening match. We go back to Dennis Miller who introduces Tiffany & Teddy Long for Breakout Star of the year. Tiffany looking good in a red dress, very hot! Nominees are Drew McIntyre, Sheamus (who should/will win), and Yoshi Tatsu & Abraham Washington. The winner is the new WWE champion, Sheamus! Sheamus comes out to a chorus of boos, and says now people should take him seriously. Sheamus says he beat Cena and put him through the table, as the crowd starts the stupid “What” chant, as Sheamus goes over the Hall of Famers who never won a title. Sheamus proudly holds the title high as the fans chant “you suck”; he says Cena will never get the title back. We go to commercial and come back to Cole & Lawler kissing John Cena’s ass, as Striker tells them to put on an orange shirt and shut up. We get a promo of the other 3 in the running for Superstar of the year, which Punk should win.

3. Cody Rhodes v. Kofi Kingston. This should be a good match, as Cody has improved so much since his teaming with Hardcore Holly. I love that Kofi lost night and still has that big grin, does have any idea he lost? Kofi has his shoulder heavily bandaged after blocking the punt; the crowd is chanting Cody which is surprising. They start out in the ropes and Cody goes for the arm, but Kofi gets out of the way. Kofi with a shoulderblock, which hurt him, Kofi hits a nice dropkick and the jumping lariat, then the boom drop as DiBiase makes the run in and out comes Evan Bourne, as we probably get a tag match now, otherwise this is a DUD. Dennis Miller comes out and says he got a Slammy for best Guest Host for restarting the match as a tag match, just like I figured. Kofi & Bourne dive on Legacy as we go to commercial; we come back to DiBiase with an arm bar on Kingston. DiBiase works over the arm, and tags in Rhodes who nails the arm and tags Ted back in. Kofi tries to fight back with one arm and gets taken down again. Striker makes a Marine joke about DiBiase as Cole plugs the Marine 2. Legacy continues to work over the arm over Kofi Kingston with a series of quick tags. Kofi finally makes the tag to Evan Bourne who hits a nice Hurricanrana and spin kick on Rhodes, followed by the knee drop in mid air. Kofi and DiBiase on the floor as Evan then kicked Cody Rhodes to the ropes. Rhodes counters and hits Cross Rhodes for the win. 2.75/5 quick paced tag match, glad they made it a tag match instead of just ending there. Dennis Miller apologizes for the show open and says he should just come out and yell suck it! He introduces the presenters of Santino Marella & Vickie Guerrero; this should be comedy gold as they present the Shocker of the Year. Nominees are Randy Orton DDTs Stephanie (should win), Batista’s heel turn (will win), CM Punk retires Jeff Hardy & Sheamus putting Cubin throw the table. CM Punk wins; I’m surprised as I thought Batista would get it. CM Punk comes out proudly and gets cut off for commercial. We come back to CM Punk’s speech as he insults the crowd, and says he wants to thank himself for having a great year as he goes over his accomplishments for this year. He forgets to mention, he’s made Festus entertaining!

4. CM Punk v. John Cena. Yeah, like Punk has chance of winning this match! John Cena comes out and the crowd cheers, I can’t for the life of me figure out why. We start out as Cena knocks down Punk, Punk returns with a series of knee lifts. Punk hits the knee to the corner/bulldog combo for a near fall. Punk locks in the arm bar, and Cena powers out, kicking Punk, Punk counters to the GTS, Cena reverses to the STF. Punk almost makes the ropes, and Cena pulls him back and locks it back in for a quick win. DUD way to squash Punk, what a waste of time that was. Way to not even give Punk a chance in this match, why he’s in the dog is beyond me. Someone please gag the idiot that keeps screaming, she’s driving me nuts. Cena does the usual crying after losing the title as he apologizes for failing last night. I think Cena fails as a wrestler, he’s overrated and undertalented, he doesn’t deserve to be where he is in the business while guys like Shelton Benjamin, Charlie Haas & William Regal get no respect. Cena says people may have lost faith in him, but he says that’s ok, and to those who still believes he says he won’t give up. Cena says his road to Wrestlemania starts tonight, and he can’t be stopped. Cena steals Swagger’s gimmick by saying he won’t lose another match, of course you won’t, because you’re Vince’s cash cow. We go back to Dennis Miller, who thanks the WWE for the Tribute to the Troops. Dennis introduces Triple H to present the Match of the Year. Triple gets Dennis Miller’s name wrong and says D-X will defend the titles tonight. Nominees are Undertaker v. Shawn Michaels (will win), John Cena v. Randy Orton, Jeff Hardy v. Edge (should win), Raw v. Smackdown 14 man tag match. Shawn v. Undertaker wins, of course, and Shawn comes out. It was only a good match because the rest of the show sucked. I say Edge/Hardy was ten times better then that match and truly deserves it. Triple H says he had to follow the match, and didn’t stand a chance. That’s because Triple H/Orton at Mania was horrible, as was the rest of Wrestlemania. Shawn is out to brag about the match, but why not Undertaker? Shawn grabs the award, and starts to leave as the fans chant “HBK”; Shawn challenges Undertaker to a rematch. Shawn says he can beat Undertaker and wants a rematch at Wrestlemania 26, let’s hope not.

5. Undertaker v. Randy Orton. I still say Undertaker wins this match, to set up Cena/Undertaker main event tonight. Don’t know if that will be better then Orton v. Cena match number 2753, but at least it’s fresh. Undertaker starts out with a shoulderblock and goes for Old School, which is countered by Orton. Cole & Lawler ignore Striker who says Batista should be the champ, and I agree, and I hate Batista as much as I hate Cena. Both men slug it out and Taker with an advantage, as he hits Snake Eyes and Big Boot combo, as Cole yells out vintage. Taker gets a near fall and goes for the Chokeslam, Orton counters and clotheslines Taker over the top rope, both men outside the ring. Undertaker hits the apron leg drop on Randy Orton, who gets distracted by Legacy. Orton hits an RKO on Undertaker outside the ring and Orton slides in the ring for the win. DUD another complete waste of time, these matches have sucked so far. Legacy roll Undertaker back in and start yelling at him, Undertaker takes Legacy out and chokeslams Orton. Undertaker stands over Orton, as we get Orton v. Cena tonight, yawn. We come back from commercial to Dennis Miller, who says we’re two hours into a seventeen hour show, it feels like it. Miller introduces Vince McMahon, whose music cuts off Dennis Miller’s jokes. Vince McMahon presents the Guest Host of the Year Award. Vince asks if the crowd is dead as he says the audience is lousy, no Vince the show has sucked so far. Nominees include Bob Barker (should win), Seth Green, Shaq (will win) & Osbournes. Vince announces Bob Barker wins the award, and he’s shown on the big screen. Bob says thanks to the RAW audience and he’s proud to have won the award and he had a great time being on RAW. He looked like he had a lot of fun when he was hosting, so I’m glad he won that, may have been the highlight of RAW. Vince asks Dennis who he’d name as Guest Host and Dennis replies with Bret “Hitman” Hart and the place erupts!!! Vince mentions the Montreal Screwjob and says he would not do it, Dennis asks the crowd and we get a hell yeah! Vince just walks off the stage, looking pretty pissed off. Wonder if we will ever get Bret as guest host, it’s been rumored for a while. After the commercial we get Dennis Miller backstage with Chris Jericho, who thanks Dennis for showing him respect. Dennis starts one of his legendary rants!!! I love it!!! Dennis calls Jericho a black hole and makes a Kayne/Taylor Swift joke. I hope Jerishow wins the belts back tonight, because RAW is going to suck without him.

6. D-X v. Jerishow. Jericho has his arm and leg both bandaged as Lawler mentions Little People Court, so we’re not letting that die? Jericho and Triple H start the match, and Triple H does a school boy push over on the ref, and that’s the match. DUD seriously, that’s the match. What the @%#^ was that, what a load of garbage if they don’t have the match. Triple H says that was your one rematch you get, so Jericho is done and needs to leave RAW now. This is the most ridiculous pile of crap I’ve ever seen, this show is failing fast. D-X calls out the D-X army of R-Truth, Hurricane, Finlay, Cryme Tyme, Christian and Shelton Benjamin. Jericho turns around to yell at the army and eats Sweet Chin Music, as he rolls out of the ring the D-X army pushes his up the ramp and out of the arena. We may have a new contender for worst episode of RAW ever, as we see Jericho being pushed out of the arena. Carlito, Chris Masters & Eve come out to present the Extreme Moment of the Year award, as Masters does his boob bounce move, I’d rather see Eve do that!!! Carlito says he can do it too as he asks Eve if she can do it, he says he’ll never know. Nominees are Kofi’s Boom Drop on Orton through the table (will win), Big Show throwing Cena through the light (should win), and Jeff Hardy dives on CM Punk & Triple H’s home invasion. Jeff Hardy wins in tonight’s WTF moment, as Matt accepts the award. Matt Hardy says Jeff is honored to have won the award, Carlito says he won, why Matt is accepting. Carlito clobbers Matt Hardy and accepts the award for him, as Carlito does a great acceptance speech as Eve takes the award. Masters locks Carlito in the Masterlock and throws him to Matt who knocks Carlito out. They then play the trailer for Marine 2, who cares?

7. The Miz, Zack Ryder & Drew McIntyre v. John Morrison, Yoshi Tatsu & Mark Henry. Well, I guess this is a way to get six guys on the show, as you know the matches have been so long tonight, yeah that’s sarcasm! Nice to see the young guys get some camera time; let’s hope for a good long match. Striker points out the mistake he made last night about the title changes in Texas, which I pointed out in my TLC recap!!! John Morrison lost his fur coat, looks strange without it. It looked well, until the introduced Mark Henry, the talent level took a huge drop just then. It’s cool seeing the IC and US champs on the same team. Mark Henry and Miz start up, as Mark Henry powers Miz up overhead and drops Miz. Henry tags in John Morrison who hits a side leg sweep on his former partner. John with the standing shooting star for a two count, Miz tags in Drew, John pulls him down and misses the run kick as Drew tags out to Ryder. Yoshi begs to be tagged in and John obliges. Zack whips Yoshi in and Tatsu with a shoulderblock, nice little sequence there, Tatsu with the kick for the three! 2/5 way to quick a match should’ve been a lot more time for this match, whatever, let’s just end this damn show now.

8. Mickie James, Melina, Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly, and Maria & Bella Twins v. Michelle McCool, Layla, Rosa Mendes, Natalya, Beth Phoenix, Maryse & Alicia Fox. I give this less than five minutes for this match, as the divas get no respect ever. All the girls are in evening gowns, so this means it won’t be long, Michelle has pick up Layla and help her in as her dress is too tight. I really don’t care anymore, as this is going to be quick but still painful. The bell rings and Rosa kicks Mickie to start and pulls her down, wonder if we get a slip like on TNA two weeks ago, Lawler hopes for a slip too. Mickie hits a Hurricanrana on Rosa and the DDT for the win. DUD what was the point of introducing 14 divas when only two were in the ring. This show is a complete and utter waste of ^$@#^ time. Goldust and MVP come out to introduce Diva of the Year, which Michelle probably wins. MVP announces the Slammy goes to Maria, what the hell, why? She’s been gone for months and done nothing, sure she’s hot, but she’s useless, might as well have been Rosa winning. To quote Bart Simpson, “I didn’t think it was possible to suck and blow at the same time”. Batista comes out and does a Kayne West thing to Maria, whatever. Dennis Miller introduces the next trainwreck, his words not mine, Abraham Washington, Tony Atlas and Big Dick Johnson, who announce the Oh My moment of the Year. Tony Atlas can’t stop laughing, which is making the show, which shows how bad this crap has been. Nominees are Chris Masters’ dancing pecs, Shawn superkicks a little girl (will win), Michael Cole puking & Santino gets pied (should win). Michael Cole win, and he jumps on Lawler and runs up the ramp, like the tool he is. Cole gives a stupid speech about JR, and Dennis Miller comes back out. Dennis says he has to take his eyes out with a power drill after seeing Bick Dick Johnson, got to agree. Eighteen minutes to go, I think I can, I think I can. We get some more D-X crap, which I fast forward, thankfully as I see Hornswoggle involved that saved me 5 minutes.

9. John Cena v. Randy Orton. Eleven minutes left, and I still see Sheamus losing the belt before we end. Cena starts out quick pounding Orton and hits a poor fisherman Suplex for a near count. Cena with a big slam and elbow drop, Cena misses a bulldog and Orton throws his out of the ring. John Cena rammed into the ring post by Orton and thrown back in the ring for a near fall. Orton stomps on Cena, as the announcers care as much as I do as they recap the Slammy winners and talk about Shawn challenging Undertaker. I’d love to see Orton score an upset, but so not happening. I can see why as Orton is still stomping on John and doing his facial expressions he does so well. Orton goes for a slam, Cena reverses into a bulldog, and Cena climbs the ropes and drops the leg for a near fall. Vintage Orton, as Cole says, with the backbreaker for another near fall. Cena tries to pull himself up and Orton punches him down, then a quick clothesline for a two count. Orton with a Garvin Stomp, can there be a stupid move in wrestling? Orton misses the knee drop and Cena with a pair of shoulderblocks, followed by the fistdrop. Cena goes for FU, countered to RKO, countered to STFU, countered again; Cena hits FU for a near fall. Orton rolls out of the ring, catching Cena with the DDT on the floor. Orton rolls Cena in and Cena of course kicks out as Orton continues the facial expressions. Orton readies for the punt kick and misses, Cena with the FU for the win. 2.5/5 well, was better than expected, but ended as expected. Sheamus appears on the ramp showing the title to John Cena as the show mercifully ends.

Match Recap

1. Christian, Kane & Great Khali beat Ruthless Roundtable 3.25/5
2. Legacy beat Kofi Kingston & Evan Bourne 2.75/5
3. John Cena squashed CM Punk DUD
4. Randy Orton win via countout over Undertaker DUD
5. Jerishow beat D-X by disqualification DUD
6. Yoshi Tatsu, John Morrison & Mark Henry beat Miz, Drew McIntyre & Zack Ryder 2/5
7. Team Mickie beats Team Michelle in about a minute DUD
8. John Cena beats Randy Orton 2.5/5

Slammy recap

1. Tag Team presented by Jillian Hall & R-Truth, won by Jerishow
2. Teddy Long & Tiffany present Breakout Star of the year, won by Sheamus
3. Santino & Vickie present the Shocker of the Year, won by CM Punk
4. Triple H presents the Match of Year, which is won by Undertaker v. Shawn Michaels
5. Vince McMahon presents Guest Host of the Year, won by Bob Barker
6. Carlito, Chris Masters & Eve present the Extreme Moment of the Year, won by Jeff Hardy
7. Goldust & MVP announce Maria wins Diva of the Year
8. Abraham Washington, Tony Atlas & Big Dick present Oh My, won by Michael Cole
9. John Cena wins Superstar of the Year

What a horrible excuse for a show that was, it’s bad when Khali has match of the night. It was just three hours of crap and the matches were rushed, especially the diva match. I’m too fed to talk anymore about this show, bring on the good show, ECW. I give this show an F, worse than last week’s Impact, which sucked. Only good things were Dennis Miller and Bob Barker.

Monday’s edition of RAW worked hard to put over this Sunday’s Pay-Per-View Tables, Ladders, and Chairs.  The show especially focused on some last minute building up of John Cena’s TLC challenger for the WWE championship, Sheamus.  The rookie’s past exploits on RAW were recounted in a series of video packages shown throughout the program, but unfortunately the videos served to illustrate the brevity of the Celtic Warrior’s RAW tenure more so than its genuine impact.  How much more can they milk Sheamus’s retiring of Jamie Noble anyway?  Noble was a good worker and underrated performer, but he wasn’t getting any TV time and hadn’t had a win or an angle in greater than two years. So in effect Sheamus took out the lowest ranking superstar on the RAW roster… well, okay second lowest; I always forget that Hacksaw Jim Duggan is still under contract.  But anyway…

Members of the production team weren’t the only ones working overtime to put the big red rookie over before Sunday’s show.  Commentators Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole, as well as John Cena and the show’s guest GM Mark Cuban (billionaire owner of the Dallas Mavericks and 9-11 conspiracy theorist) got in on the action as well.  The broadcast culminated in Cuban’s hosting a “Championship Showdown,” in which he asked the champ and the challenger a series of questions.  Cena performed well in this segment, visibly struggling to keep his temper in check as he answered “no comment” to the first two inquiries.  When he finally laid into the rookie, he was as always really good on the mic.  He played on his battle-tested, seen all-done all persona, citing everything from his numerous surgeries to his program with Kevin Federline as a means of illustrating how he’d weathered every storm and come out deserving of his place at the top.  He closed by admitting that Sheamus impressed him but failed to intimidate him.  Sheamus responded by overturning one of the conference tables set up in the ring (honestly tables and wrestlers just don’t mix, when will we learn:  A table in the presence of a pro wrestler has the life expectancy equal to that of a night watchman in a horror movie).

Things went from ugly to uglier, when Sheamus shoved down Cuban and then leveled a distracted Cena with a kick to the skull.  The big man then nestled one of the tables in the turnbuckle, and it looked like he was once again going to make a statement by throwing the champ through it.  Instead, however, he knocked Cena out with a second kick and then stood nose to nose with an angered Cuban, who shockingly pushed the Celtic Warrior down to the canvas with a single (and not too forceful looking) shove.

I don’t think that Sheamus was supposed to go down, when Cuban pushed him.  Lawler and Cole seemed to be doing some damage control with their commentary.  Lawler said that Sheamus was “not ready” for the push and was “off balance,” while Cole insisted that Sheamus “tripped over himself.”  It does look pretty bad when a non-wrestler takes the brand’s top monster heel off his feet, especially after that heel has just taken out the company’s top face.  But Sheamus attained retribution by scooping Cuban up and sending him through the table, provoking a delayed and belabored response from a handful of Mavericks seated in the front row.

Sheamus showed a lot of intensity after destroying the guest GM, and although his performance on the mic sounded extremely scripted, he sold it well enough.  The new comer is clearly trying his best.  Who knows, maybe the WWE championship match at TLC will turn out to be a classic, and the Celtic Warrior will begin to earn some of his massive push.

Elsewhere on the show:  My first thought, when I tuned into RAW, was that the guest GM Mark Cuban looked like your standard not-too-bright, rich douche bag.  You know the type: stunted frat boy looks, rude to waiters, always tries to tip hospital employees, hasn’t finished a book since high school, and refers to the Mavericks as “the Mavs.”  I imagine I’m not the only one out here in the WWE Universe who spent at least half of the first segment thinking he was the guy who created the Girls Gone Wild video series.

But, ultimately Cuban (though he never lost his rich jerk swagger) did a fine job as host.  He was spirited and relatively well versed, especially when dealing with Randy Orton and Legacy.  Cuban’s methods for getting even with Orton (who RKOed the loud-mouthed billionaire at the 2003 Survivor Series) and his minions were a little unconvincing, however.  First he threw Legacy into a match against Evan Bourne and Primo Colon.  Both Bourne and Colon are great performers, but Cuban obviously didn’t know that they were jobbers or he wouldn’t have counted on them to humiliate Legacy.  Someone should have told the GM that putting Rhodes and Dibiase in the ring with enhancement talent would only lead to Legacy coming out enhanced.

His plot to embarrass Orton was a little off as well.  He made a match between Orton and his nemesis Kofi Kingston and announced that he himself would officiate the contest.  The two rivals put together an entertaining match, which ended when Kingston countered the RKO into a backslide, which gave Cuban the opportunity to fast count Orton for a tainted Kingston victory.  At first glance it seemed like Cuban’s measure of payback on Orton was successful, upon a closer look, however, its holes become more apparent.  For instance: If Cuban planned on screwing over Orton all along, why didn’t he make Orton wrestle someone to whom it would have been embarrassing to lose…. like Santino Marella?  Santino getting the opportunity to boast about beating Orton would have lent itself to some funny segments over the next few weeks as well.  Plus, from a booking stand point, its incongruous with Kofi’s emerging character to be used as a pawn in some billionaire’s revenge game and ultimately accept a tainted victory at the hands of a crooked ref.  Oh well, at least it’s always fun to see a fast count.

In the Christmas themed DX Segment, it was pretty funny when Shawn Michaels said that the sketch’s bad writing was “taking him out of the holidays.”  DX’s handicap match with Jericho turned out to be a shmoz, in which Jericho and the Big Show used a ladder to beat down Michaels and Triple H.  Jericho has done a particularly good job of promoting the Tag Team Championship match at TLC.  After Christian V.S. Shelton Benjamin, I expect it to be the best match on the card.

I find it interesting that the Miz’s tights feature a design inspired by Mike Giant’s street art.  Giant famously used an image of Andre the Giant in his “Obey” pieces, effectively taking an icon from the imagery of pro wrestling and representing it in a radically different context.  And now the Miz (or whoever designed his tights) has taken that marriage of imageries from the realm of street art and re-appropriated it back into the context of pro wrestling.  I like it.

It looks like Chris Masters is trying to ride the modest crowd response he got from making his pecs dance into a push.  (Blogger stops typing, hangs head low, removes glasses and grimaces as he pinches the bridge of his nose).   If WWE plans on doing anything at all with Masters, his theme music needs to change.  His current theme sounds like the score over the opening titles of a Cecil B. Demille movie.  Doesn’t really get the pulse pounding… unless your Charlton Heston, and I don’t think I am.

On the official Lateral Press ratings scale, this week’s episode of RAW gets:

 Three Stars (out of Five).

No dia 22 de novembro, foi ao ar a vigésima terceira edição do Survivor Series, a segunda mais longa exibição em pay per view da WWE. Quase 20 mil fãs lotaram o Verizon Center, em Washington – fora os milhões de expectadores em mais de 20 países ao redor do mundo – para presenciar mais um espetáculo protagonizado pelas maiores estrelas do wrestling internacional.

O tio Ogro demorou um pouco, mas cá está uma breve cobertura do que rolou no evento mais legalzudo do mês:

Team Miz X Team Morrison (Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Tag Team Match)

O primeiro combate da noite serviu como uma excelente amostra do que os astros da nova geração podem fazer, mostrando que o futuro da WWE está em boas mãos. Para a surpresa de muitos, o United States Champion, The Mizz, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, Sheamus e Dolph Ziggler abraçaram a tarefa de deixar seus egos de lado e executaram um ótimo trabalho de equipe para derrotar o time do Intercontinental Champion John Morrison, formado por Matt Hardy, Finlay, Evan Bourne e Shelton Benjamin.

Iniciada com Bourne e Swagger, a luta logo tomou caráter caótico, com golpes e pinfalls pipocando por todo o ringue e estrelas colidindo como se não houvesse amanhã, incluindo um show à parte protagonizado pelo irlandês durão Finlay contra McIntyre e o guerreiro celta Sheamus.

Quando a poeira abaixou, restava o solitário John Morrison de um lado contra o trio Mizz, McIntyre e Sheamus. Jogando a cautela às favas, o ‘Shaman Of Sexy’ partiu para uma ofensiva explosiva, mas Sheamus o subjugou, conquistando a vitória para o Team Mizz.

Batista X Rey Mysterio

A sequência tinha um tempero especial: rancor, vingança e ódio. O universo da WWE assistiu ao gigante Dave Batista despejar toda sua fúria no antigo amigo Rey Mysterio, fazendo juz ao seu apelido, “The Animal”. Batista culpa Rey por tê-lo impedido de realizar o pin em Undertaker – em luta realizada no Bragging Rights, em outubro – o que o nomearia Heavy Weight Champion. Segundo Dave, ele está cansado do ‘quase’, de ver o título escapando das suas mãos, e não admite que isso tenha sido feito por um ‘amigo’.

Apesar de Rey ter lutado com todo o seu coração, partindo para a ofensiva com todas as armas que tinha, a fúria do “The Animal” sobrepujou sua coragem. Como uma locomotiva, Batista avançou sobre e Mysterio sem misericórdia. Após uma Spear fenomenal, um Spine Buster e três (sim, três!!!) Batista Bombs devastadoras, o árbitro não teve escolha a não ser finalizar o combate. Batista não esboçou qualquer sinal de satisfação com a vitória. Conforme comentado durante a tranmissão por Michael Cole, “Batista never went for a cover, never looked for a win…it was all about punishing!”, o que, em português, quer dizer que Batista é um badass motherfucker! Há!

Com Rey ainda caído na londa, Dave retornou ao ringue com uma cadeira de metal. Por um momento, todos esperaram que o gigante desse continuidade ao seu ataque, mas ele simplesmente sentou-se para assistir à agonia do antigo amigo. Após alguns momentos, Batisa se levantou sem dizer uma palavra, erguendo Mysterio do chão e executando mais um Spine Buster, em cima da cadeira de aço, para o choque de todo o Verizon Center.

A WWE tem agora um prato cheio para eleger seu novo vilão.

Team Kingston X Team Orton (Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Tag Team Match)

Kofi Kingston e Randy Orton: eis uma nova rivalidade que vem dando o que falar na WWE. Com Kofi, Mark Henry, R-Truth, Christian e MVP de um lado e Orton, Ted DiBiase, Cody Rhodes, William Regal e CM Punk do outro, o ringue foi palco de uma batalha épica. O combate prosseguia, astros eram derrotados e outros mostravam tudo que tinham a oferecer.

Até que, ao final da luta, restavam apenas Kofi contra dois já condecorados campeões da WWE, o “Straightedge Superstar” CM Punk e ninguém menos que Randy “The Viper” Orton. No entanto, acostumado a nadar contra a corrente, Kingston não se intimidou e, movido pela torcida, mostrou toda a sua versatilidade e atleticismo, justificando o porquê de ser uma das novas estrelas mais adoradas pelos fãs da WWE.

Após uma sequência acirrada com Punk, Kofi realizou o pin. Orton, pretendendo pegar o jovem astro de surpresa, adentrou o ringue tão logo o companheiro é dado como eliminado. Mas Kofi Kingston tirou a noite para mostrar que tem tudo o que é necessário para lutar de igual para igual com estrelas já eternizadas na WWE. Com um vôo espetacular, ele aplicou um Trouble In Paradise em Orton, que desabou sem nem poder reagir. E foi assim que esse combate se encerrou: Kingstone aplicando o pinfall em dois antigos World Champions em menos de 6 segundos! O neguinho não é mole não, há!

World Heavyweight Champion Undertaker X Big Show X Chris Jericho (Triple Threat Match)

Há quase 20 anos, na primeira edição do Survivor Series em 1990, Undertaker subia no ringue da WWE pela primeira vez. Na época, ninguém sabia muito o que esperar do sinistro “Demon From Death Valley”. Já em 2009, todo o universo da WWE está ciente do que este homem obstinado é capaz de fazer, incluindo entre seus feitos, um recorde de 17-0 no Wrestlemania. E é com mais uma entrada triunfal que Undertaker sobiu ao ringue do Verizon Center.

A quarta luta da noite começou com Jericho e Big Show unindo forças contra o “Dead Man”. Mas tão logo Chris tentou finalizar o campeão com um Walls Of Jericho, o maior atleta do mundo interrompeu, ficando então cada um por si.

Depois de uma franca troca de pins interrompidos, golpes incríveis e massivas demonstrações de força física, Big Show – que havia nocauteado Jericho com um Right To The Head – partiu para cima de Undertaker com um gigantesco choke slam. Quando parecia o fim para o lutador das trevas, Undertaker reverteu o ataque e aplicou uma das mais temidas manobras de submissão da WWE, o Hells Gates em Big Show, obrigando-o a bater.

Mais uma vitóroia incontestável do “Phenom” e mais uma pergunta no ar: se nem mesmo o maior atleta do mundo pode parar Undertaker, quem poderá?

Team Mickie X Team Michelle (Traditional Survivor Series Tag Team Elimination Match)

Concluindo uma semana de insultos por parte de Michelle McCool, Lyla e Beth Phoenix à superstar Mickie James – levando a mesma até as lágrimas durante o Smackdown – esse foi mais um combate que se iniciou com sabor de acerto de contas.

A noite das divas da WWE foi marcada, entre outras coisas, pela impressionante força física da “Glamazon” Beth Phoenix. Mas não foi tudo o que Beth demonstrou. Ela também deixou clara toda a sua anti-desportividade ao não concordar com a sua eliminação, após um ótimo Crucifix perpetrado por Mickie James. Esta, aliás, foi outro destaque da luta, esbanjando seus tradicionais atleticismo e vigor.

Mas a conclusão do encejo ficou a cargo da Divas Champion Melina, que exibiu habilidades acrobáticas para executar um Sunset Flip na Women’s Champion Michelle McCool, que já dava a sua vitória como garantida, em sua arrogância costumeira.

WWE Champion John Cena X Triple H X Shawn Michaels (Triple Threat Match)

Como citado no site official da WWE, “quando se trata do título mais cobiçado da companhia, a lealdade se torna um preço que nem todos os superstars estão dispostos a pagar.”. Apesar da entrada de Triple H e Shawn Michaels como a famosa dupla Degeneration X, o combate seria cada um por si. E também, apesar do discurso de que não importa quem levasse o título, contanto que o mesmo fosse conquistado para a DX, a noite nos guardava mais algumas surpresas.

Segundos após o sinal de início da luta, Shawn Michaels despachou Triple H com um Sweet Chin Music. A arena permaneceu em choque, assim como o pasmo campeão John Cena. Com Triple H fora, HBK e Cena se atracaram como titãs.

No entanto, como qualquer fã da WWE pode afirmar, nunca tome “The Cerebral Assassin” por vencido. Triple H se recompôs e fez com que o choque dos três gigantes tomasse um rumo diferente, dinâmico e muito mais perigoso, fora dos limites do ringue. Foi então que H deu o troco no ‘companheiro’ executando um Spine Buster em Shawn, na mesa de narração do evento. Enquanto a luta quase chegava ao fim com diversas contagens interrompidas, foi um castigado e exausto Cena que, seguindo o seu lema de “never give up”, perserverou e aplicou o pin em Triple H, mantendo pra si o título de WWE Champion.

Será que após esse último capítulo, a história da polêmica Degeneration X chegou ao fim?

—

Putz! Dá pra suar só de ler né? Pois é, foi mais uma noite de entretenimento certo para os fãs da Wwe ao redor do mundo. E o próximo encontro já está marcado! No dia 13 de dezembro, a cidade de San Antonio, no Texas recebe o explosivo TLC, evento no qual os astros colidem, levando a ação para fora dos ringues com o auxílio de mesas, escadas e cadeiras. Dá pra perder?

Survivor Series 2009, November 22, 2009, Verizon Center, Washington, DC

Announcers: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, & Matt Striker

Opening Match: US Champion The Miz (Captain), Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, Drew McIntyre, & Sheamus vs. IC Champion John Morrison (Captain), Evan Bourne, Fit Finlay, Matt Hardy, & Shelton Benjamin

Bourne and Swagger start off with Bourne using speed to get a rollup for 2.  Swagger gets a suplex and tags Ziggler who hits the jumping neck snap for 1.  Cool looking inverted slam gets 2, and then he gets another 2 off some elbows.  He and Swagger trade off again and Ziggler gets Bourne in a half crab.  Bourne kicks him off and gets a rana for 2.  He follows with a high knee and tags Hardy.  They hit a double elbow from the 2^nd rope.  Hardy hits the Side Effect, then tags Bourne who hits the Air Bourne shooting star press for the 3 count to eliminate Ziggler at 3:59.  No time to celebrate though as in comes Drew McIntyre and he hits the double arm DDT to finish Bourne off at 4:12.  Finlay is in next and he takes McIntyre down with the Finlay Roll.  McIntyre avoids a second one and tags Sheamus which sets up the big showdown between the Irishmen.  That lasts almost no time at all as Miz provides a brief distraction and Sheamus hits the big boot for the pin at 5:14.  Hardy comes in and fares a bit better, but then his Side Effect is blocked and he takes a powerslam for 1.  Sheamus drops some elbows and gets a 2 count, then tags Miz.  Miz controls with a slam and legdrop, and then hooks a rear chinlock.  Hardy fires out but then takes a neckbreaker for 2.  Miz goes to a front facelock, which Hardy escapes as well, and follows up with a Russian legsweep.  Miz tags Swagger, who cuts Hardy off from making the tag.  He controls for a bit before Hardy finally escapes and tags Morrison.  Morrison comes in hot with a dropkick and knee for 2.  He corner whip is reversed and he goes down, but Swagger misses the pump splash.  Miz tries to provide the distraction again, but to no avail as Morrison still connects with a springboard kick.  The cover draws everyone in and in the melee, Scott Armstrong takes a knee to the back of the head from Sheamus.  He stays down and they would later announce him has having suffered a concussion.  But it’s a big break for Justin King as he gets to step in and save the day.  After everyone is cleared out, Morrison takes Swagger down and connects with Starship Pain for the pin at 12:09.  Miz jumps him, nailing a clothesline in the corner and a double ax off the top for 2.  Benjamin takes a blind tag and surprises Miz with a rollup for 2.  He then hits a back suplex.  Stinger Splash follows and then a Northern Lights suplex gets 2.  Corner whip sees him run into a boot though, but he follows by getting his own boot up on Miz’s charge.  German suplex gets 2 and he sets up a neckbreaker, but Sheamus nails him to break it up.  Miz follows with the Skull Crushing Finale to end Benjamin’s night at 14:59.  Hardy comes back in as McIntyre gets the tag.  Hardy nails a couple of clotheslines for 2 and a headbutt, but he misses a charge.  He still hits a neckbreaker though and follows with the 2^nd rope legdrop for 2.  He hits another neckbreaker and goes up, but after a distraction by Sheamus, he misses a moonsault.  McIntyre gets the double arm DDT for the 3 count at 17:11.  This leaves Morrison one on three, and the odds take over quickly.  He gets caught by McIntyre and then Sheamus gets the tag and pounds away.  Tag to Miz who’s in with some kicks.  Morrison comes back with a dropkick, but Miz tags right away to Sheamus.  He hits a clothesline and runs Morrison to the corner where the partners beat on him while he distracts the ref.  Morrison tries fighting back and goes for a springboard move, but gets nailed coming down.  Sheamus the hits the Razor’s Edge, and that’s it for Morrison at 20:55.  Survivors: The Mix, Sheamus, and Drew McIntyre.  Obviously the heel team has the guys they want to protect and build up so it makes sense for them to win.  Ziggler and Swagger, who were seemingly the pet projects a few months ago, appear to have been shuffled downwards, only being used as token eliminations for the face team here.  I have to say that I’m not confident about a main event push for Sheamus, but I guess we’ll find out next month at TLC as he’s getting thrown right in there with John Cena.  **1/2

Next we get a dumb segment with team Kofi as they reassure Christian there’s nothing awkward about him being the only white guy on the team.  Christian of course manages to make it awkward by the end by rapping about it.  Just a dumb segment that does nothing to make me care about any of the guys, or the match they have coming up, but someone must have thought it was hilarious, I guess.

Rey Mysterio vs. Dave Batista

After the big turn by Batista last month, the feud comes to a head here in Batista’s hometown, which means he’s the crowd favourite regardless.  Definitely an example of poor planning there.  Mysterio starts off going for the knee, and quickly sets up a 619, but Batista rolls out.   Batista drags him to the floor and runs him to the apron.  Back in, Mysterio kicks him and tries a springboard, but Batista ducks it and nails a clothesline.  Mysterio keeps managing to escape Batista’s power moves and clips the knee for 2.  He sets up the 619 again, but Batista catches him.  He sets up the Batista Bomb, but Mysterio takes him to the floor with a rana.  Mysterio follows with a baseball slide and then leaps at him off the apron.  Batista then just starts no selling and beats Mysterio up.  Mysterio knees him coming in and hits a 619 to the back to set up the regular version, which also hits.  After the springboard press hits, he goes up and does the Eddie Guerrero dance to big boos prior to hitting knees on a frog splash.  Batista then gets him with a spear and spinebuster.  Batista Bomb follows, but rather then cover, he hits another, and then another before the ref stops it at 6:49.  Batista is not done though as he comes in with a chair.  The crowd wants him to kill Mysterio, which is probably not the reaction they were going for.  He teases doing nothing for a bit, but then ends up dropping Mysterio with a spinebuster on the chair.  Mysterio does a stretcher job and so begins yet another period of surgery and rehab for him.  *1/2

Randy Orton lets his team know that they’ve failed to live up to his expectations so far, and that they’d better come through tonight.  Punk stands up to him in a tease of dissention, but nothing comes of it.  At least this segment focused on the match and the issues between the guys rather then lame comedy.

Randy Orton (Captain), CM Punk, William Regal, Cody Rhodes, & Ted Dibiase vs. Kofi Kingston (Captain), MVP, Mark Henry, ECW Champion Christian, & R-Truth

Orton and Henry are in first with Henry whipping him to the corner and nailing a clothesline.  He takes shots at the entire heel team and then puts Orton in a bearhug, but Legacy comes in and breaks it up.  That sets up an RKO and Henry is done at 0:53.  MVP comes in as Rhodes gets the tag.  Rhodes gets MVP to the corner and they go to work with Dibiase, Regal, and then Punk all getting tagged in in succession.  Punk stays in and works him over a bit longer, but soon gets tossed away and MVP tags Truth.  These guys have an issue going so they get some heat.  Truth gets a hiptoss and then flips over him on a corner whip.  However, Rhodes distracts him and Punk takes advantage to nail the GTS for the pin at 3:14.  Christian comes in and rolls him up for 2.  He nails a forearm off the ropes for 1 before Punk knees him.  After a slam he tags Dibiase who comes in with a double stomp off the 2^nd rope for 2.  He follows with a powerslam for another 2.  He tries hooking the Dream, but can’t get it.  Christian counters to a Killswitch, which Dibiase in turn counters to a catapult to the buckle.  Christian comes back out with a kick and then a sunset flip gets 3 at 5:04.  Is Dibiase being shuffled down too?  His issues with Orton have pretty much disappeared and here he’s just beaten like an afterthought five minutes in.  Regal comes in for Team Orton while Christian tags Kofi who comes in with a dropkick, some punches in the corner, and an uppercut for 2.  He’s not really getting a superstar reaction though so expect them to give up on him any time now.  Corner whip is reversed with Kofi leaping back off the ropes, but Regal moves and Kofi hits the mat.  Tag to Rhodes, who drops a knee before tagging back to Regal.  Kofi fires back and tags MVP who comes right in with a big boot on Regal for 3 at 6:51.  Rhodes comes in off the top with a bodypress, but MVP rolls through for 2.  He then gets a suplex for another 2.  Tag Christian, whose tornado DDT is blocked and Rhodes kicks him down for 2.  To a bodyscissors, but Christian gets on top of him for 2 and forces a break.  Rhodes then clotheslines him for 2 and tags Orton.  Orton is in with a dropkick for 2 and works Christian over for a bit before tagging Rhodes back in.  Kneedrop by Rhodes misses and that allows a tag to MVP.  He’s in with multiple clotheslines and a facebuster.  He goes Ballin’ but Orton then distracts him and he takes the Cross Rhodes for the pin at 10:11.  Kofi immediately rolls him up for 2 and then tags Christian who comes in with a shot off the top.  Tag back to Kofi who gets a springboard double ax handle for 2, followed by a snapmare and splash for another 2.  Tag to Christian, on whom Rhodes is able to briefly take advantage, but he then quickly falls victim to the Killswitch and is pinned at 11:36.  See, now unlike his partner, Rhodes at least got to job to the guy’s finisher, and not only that he also got an elimination before being eliminated himself.  I don’t understand.  Orton comes in next and works Christian over.  He drops a knee and then takes a cheap shot at Kofi.  Christian gets a cradle for 2 and then Punk provides the distraction to set up the RKO, but Christian counters to the Killswitch.  He covers, but Punk saves at 2.  Christian beats him up and tosses him, but then misses a charge on Orton and takes an RKO for the 3 count at 13:27.  Kofi is in as the last member of his team, but Orton wants nothing to do with him and tags out to Punk.  After this Orton actually goes as far as not even standing on the apron for the entire time Punk and Kofi go at it.  Kofi wins a slugfest which leads to them trying and missing the finishers.  Kofi does get a dropkick and the SOS for 2.  He misses a splash in the corner though and Punk works him over with knees and kicks.  Kick to the back gets 2 and then he uses a headscissors.  Kofi escapes, but ends up charging into a powerslam.  Now Punk goes to a bodyscissors forcing me to note that his moveset in this segment would have Gorilla Monsoon impressed.  Kofi elbows his way out, but a splash hits knees.  Punk gets him with a superplex for 2, followed by the running knee.  He goes for a bulldog, but that gets countered to a back suplex.  Kofi goes up, and after fighting Punk off a couple of times, he gets a crossbody for 2.  He follows with a dropkick and clothesline, and then hits the Boom Drop.  Orton distracts him which allows Punk a rollup, but Kofi rolls through and gets the 3 count at 20:42.  Orton is immediately in, but Kofi is aware and catches him with Trouble In Paradise which gets another 3 count at 20:50.  Survivor: Kofi Kingston.  So the story is that Kofi beat two former World Champions in an incredibly short span of time.  Really good match here, but as noted Kofi is not quite to the superstar level of reaction yet.  If they keep it up, he may get there, but it’s gonna take some time.  ***1/2

World Heavyweight Championship Match: The Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho vs. The Big Show

Obviously the theme of our two Title matches tonight is that the Champion is defending in a Triple Threat Match against both members of a regular tag team.  Jericho and Show have teased some dissention leading up to this, but none the les they start right off with a double team on Taker.  Show nails a clothesline and then Jericho clotheslines Taker to the floor.  Taker lands on his feet though and drags Jericho out, ramming him to the barrier in the process.  Show slowly follows, but gets nailed as well, but then Taker misses a charge at Jericho and hits the barrier.  They set Taker up for the Big Right Hand, but Show opts to nail him in the gut for some reason.  Why would you do that when he’s wide open like he was?  Jericho follows up with a mic shot and then they get Taker in the ring for more double teaming.  Show goes to whip Jericho into Taker, but Taker moves and Jericho hits the post.  Now Taker takes over with a flying clothesline on Show and a couple of bodyblocks on Jericho.  He follows with Snake Eyes, but now Show drags him back to the floor.  Taker manages to send him to the post anyways while Jericho then springboards right into a fist from Taker.  He sets up Old School, but Jericho crotches him.  After a couple of tries, he gets a superplex for 2.  Lionsault hits knees, but he’s unhurt and goes for the Walls instead.  He gets it on and Taker struggles for quite awhile before Show comes in and breaks it in the first sign that it’s everyone for themselves here.  Show then chokeslams Jericho, and goes to do the same thing to Taker, but Taker counters to a DDT.  Jericho sneaks over and gets covers on both guys for 2.  They all slug away now until Show and Taker grab each other by the throat.  Jericho grabs the physical representation of the Championship and goes to nail Taker, but he ducks and Show takes the shot instead.  The announcers play up that Jericho may have intentionally nailed Show, but if that’s what they were going for it didn’t look like it at all as Taker clearly pulled Show forward into it and there was no hesitation by Jericho.  Taker then takes Jericho down with a big boot for 2.  He stomps Show to the floor and sets up the Last Ride on Jericho, but Jericho has the, oh screw it, the belt and clocks Taker on the upswing.  That gets a couple of two counts which frustrates Jericho.  He goes for a Tombstone, for no conceivable reason other than so Taker can reverse it to his own, which sure enough happens, but Show comes in and knocks Taker out with the Big Right Hand.  Show covers, but Jericho saves at 2.  Jericho then covers, but Show breaks that one up at 2 as well.  Now Jericho goes for the Codebreaker on Show, but it’s blocked and Show hits the BRH on him to put him out.  He then goes for the chokeslam on Taker, but Taker hooks him in the Hell’s Gates and that gets the submission to retain at 13:39.  Not a bad match, but not that great either.  Undertaker is seemingly going on to face Batista, while any issues between Jericho and Show are set aside as they are currently announced to defend the Titles against DX at TLC.  **1/2

We get a promo by the survivors of Team Miz as they put themselves over.  Now this was good stuff.  No stupid comedy or anything.  They just came out and talked about what they’ve done and what they’re going to do next.  Was that hard?  The writers must have been on vacation for something like this to slip by.  Either that or they spent all their time working on Christian’s rap.

Women’s Champion Michelle McCool (Captain), Layla, Beth Phoenix, Jillian Hall, & Alicia Fox vs. Mickie James (Captain), Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly, Eve, & Divas Champion Melina

Ok, here we go with the token women’s match, which is bound to be bad, but they’ve spent all night talking about “tradition” and that’s as long running of a tradition as any in this company I guess so it makes sense.  Kelly and Layla are in first and they trade some shots with Kelly then hitting two clotheslines and a legdrop for 3 at 1:16.  Michelle and Gail go next with Gail hitting a dropkick and getting a rollup for 1.  Michelle then gets her with the Styles Clash for 3 at 2:05.  Eve tries a rollup for 1 and then Michelle tags Jillian who drops an elbow for 2.  She gets a hairtoss and then Eve misses a dropkick and Jillian covers for 2.  She goes for the handspring elbow but gets kicked in the back and Eve comes off the top rope with a sunset flip for 3 at 3:35.  Beth is in and immediately hits Eve with the Glam Slam for the pin at 3:52, which is followed by Kelly also taking a Glam Slam for another elimination at 4:09.  Mickie is in next, hitting a dropkick and then pinning Beth with a crucifix at 4:44.  This is rather brisk so far.  That’s not a bad thing though.  Beth nails her after the fact which lets Alicia Fox sneaks in for the cover and get a 1 count.  Alicia then gets a Northern Lights suplex for another 1.  They get backed to the corner and Mickie kicks her off, and then hits a top rope Thesz press for the 3 count at 6:25.  Michelle comes in and pounds Mickie, dropping a knee and a leg for 2.  They trade some shots, but Michelle is able to cut her off from making the tag.  She stomps Mickie down and gets a 2 count, but this time Mickie gets away and tags Melina.  Melina is in with a spear and she pounds away.  She gets a spin kick, followed by a rope straddle and faceplant for 2.  She does her “Matrix” avoiding of a big boot, but Michelle ends up dropping her anyways.  She hits a belly to belly suplex for 2 and then sets up a powerbomb, but Melina rolls through and gets the 3 count at 10:39.  Survivors: Mickie James and Melina.  Nothing more to say here.  ½*

Main Event, WWE Championship Match: John Cena vs. Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels

So like the earlier Title match we again have the Champ against a tag team, but in this case Shawn Superkicks HHH right off the bat and puts him out of the ring.  This gets a big positive reaction from the crowd by the way.  Even Cena seems stunned by this course of action.  So now he and Shawn go one on one with Shawn hitting a neckbreaker, followed by a Thesz press.  Corner whip is reversed and Cena nails a bulldog off of it.  Suplex gets 2 for Cena.  He sets up the Attitude Adjustment, but Shawn counters it to a DDT for 2.  Shawn then clips the leg and hooks the figure four.  Cena eventually reverses and Shawn breaks the hold.  Cena goes for the shoulderblocks, but misses the second one and goes to the floor.  Shawn nails a dive and then preps the announce table, but takes too long and is set up for the AA again.  But finally, after about five minutes, HHH has recovered from that Superkick and makes the save, but only because he wants to put Shawn though the table himself, which he does with a spinebuster.  He then gets Cena in the ring and hits him with another spinebuster for 2.  After working Cena over a bit, he gets 2 off a corner whip and a neckbreaker.  He sets up for the Pedigree, but Cena blocks and catapults him to the buckle.  HHH comes out of there though with a clothesline for 2.  Cena gets sent off, but connects with a shoulderblock.  He follows with a second one and then hits the Protobomb.  Five Knuckle Shuffle hits and sets up the AA, but now Shawn makes the save, sending Cena to the post.  Now we have a DX showdown, but HHH has to stop and toss Cena for good measure and that allows Shawn to hit him with an inverted atomic drop.  Irish whip is reversed and HHH hits the high knee.  He then gets the facebuster, but Shawn comes back with a clothesline.  He kips up, but is right into a HHH spinebuster.  Shawn then backdrops out of a Pedigree attempt and goes up, but Cena is there to crotch him.  Cena now goes up for the legdrop on HHH, but that misses.  Shawn is up top again, and comes off with the elbow on Cena.  HHH tosses Shawn, but quickly gets hooked in the STF by Cena.  Shawn makes it back to save though by hooking a crossface on Cena, who powers to his feet, then drops Shawn and puts him in the STF.  Shawn makes the ropes, and after they break, he gets Cena with the Superkick.  He hits another on HHH as well, but HHH falls on top of Cena and the ref counts, but Cena kicks out at 2.  The crowd was convinced that was the finish.  Cena then hits HHH with an Attitude Adjustment.  Both Shawn and Cena crawl to make the cover on HHH and the there at the same time, but HHH kicks out at 2 anyways.  Another Superkick is blocked by Cena and then Shawn goes for a piledriver on HHH.  HHH backdrops Shawn to avoid it, but he lands right on Cena’s shoulders.  Shawn slips off and hits another Superkick on HHH, but turns right into an Attitude Adjustment.  Cena opts to cover HHH instead, but still gets the 3 count to retain at 21:14.  Really good stuff here, but then I would expect nothing less with these guys as they’ve all done so many main event three ways that they could probably put one on in their sleep.  Cena will have a bigger challenge next month as he gets to face Sheamus, who is completely untested in a big match environment, so we’ll see what kind of miracle working abilities he’s got.  As mentioned earlier, DX goes on to what will probably be the real main event of TLC to face Jericho and Show for the Unified Tag Team Titles.  For this match, it squeaks ahead to take match of the night honours at ****.

Final Thoughts: If this year’s WWE PPV’s could be summed up in one phrase, I think it would be “Solid, but completely unremarkable”.  From an in ring perspective, they rarely put on a bad show and this was certainly no exception, but there’s just nothing there that’s gonna make you remember this show even a few months down the line.  The Divas match was the lowlight, but that’s to be expected, and Mysterio/Batista wasn’t that good, but it worked for the story they were telling so it’s forgivable.  Main Event was the big highlight, although it suffers from the dreaded Same Old Match Syndrome.  Thankfully they do appear to be legitimately addressing that issue, although it will take time to see if they’re doing it with the right guys.  As for Survivor Series, I can’t say it was a bad show overall.  In fact, it gets a Thumbs Up, but the truth is that if you missed it, it’s not a big deal which is becoming more and more of the trend.

Match #1: Team Miz def. Team Morrison

ORDER OF ELIMINATION:

1. Dolph Ziggler by Evan Bourne
2. Evan Bourne by Drew McInytre
3. Finlay by Sheamus
4. Jack Swagger by John Morrison
5. Shelton Benjamin by Miz
6. Matt Hardy by Drew McIntyre
7. John Morrison by Sheamus

Survivors: The Miz, Sheamus and Drew McIntyre

UP NEXT: Batista vs. Rey Mysterio

- ECW ring announcer Lauren Mayhew has a part in the upcoming direct to DVD movie “Frat Party”. The film also features adult film star Jesse Jane.

- History of the World Heavyweight Title DVD art.

- MOC images of Jakks Adrenaline 39 set.

- The Holiday 2009 issue of WWE Magazine features the young guns of WWE on the cover with Kofi Kingston, Legacy, John Morrison and Evan Bourne. The magazine also comes with a giant fold out poster featuring those same Superstars plus Dolph Ziggler, The Miz, Jack Swagger and Tyson Kidd.

- Paul Heyman and the former Mr. Kennedy preview UFC 106.

Hallo liebe Leser,

natürlich geht es nach meiner kreativen Pause auch mit der WWE und der dazugehörigen Vorberichterstattung weiter. Bereits in der Nacht von Sonntag auf Montag geht der nächste Big 4 PPV im Verizon Center in Washington DC,  also Batistas Heimatstadt über die Bühne.

Die Matchcard

WWE World Heavyweight Championship

Triple Threat Match
The Undertaker (c) vs. Big Show vs. Chris Jericho

Die Triple Thread Matches der WWE sind eigentlich immer gut und bei dieser Besetzung dürfen wir uns auf ein wirklich tolles Titelmatch freuen. Der Undertaker ist zwar gesundheitlich angeschlagen, aber das sieht man ihm selten so richtig an. Chris Jericho ist vielleicht der beste Wrestler, der momentan für die WWE arbeitet. The Big Show kann hier durch seine Stärke punkten und wird bestimmt mit Jericho aneinander geraten, auch wenn sie Tag Team Champions sind. Ich erwarte ein vom Tempo her schnelles Match mit dem Taker als Sieger.

Tipp: The Undertaker

WWE Championship

Triple Threat Match
John Cena vs. Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels

Dieser Match könnte sogar Wrestlemania headlinen, denn diese Paarung ist mit das Beste, was die WWE auf die Beine stellen kann. Dieses Match ist absolut Survivor Series würdig, weil wir gleich drei absolute Topstars im Ring haben. Ein bisschen blöd ist es, dass wir gleich zwei Triple Threat Matches haben, aber es ist wie es ist. Ich erwarte ein technisch hochwertiges Match und bin sehr gespannt, ob die DX am Ende noch zusammen sein wird, oder ob man sie wieder trennt.

Tipp: John Cena

Rey Mysterio vs. Batista

In seiner Heimatstadt will sich Batista also an seinem kleinen Ex-Freund Rey Mysterio rächen, da er ihm die Schuld gibt, dass er beim letzten PPV den Titel nicht geholt hat. Es ist alles ein bisschen einfach gestrickt, aber wir dürfen uns auf ein tolles Match freuen. Die beiden harmonieren ganz gut im Ring und die Stärke von Batista und die Technik von Rey können für ein abwechslungsreiches Match sorgen.

Tipp: Batista

Traditional Survivor Series Elimination

Tag Team Match
Team Kingston: Kapitän Kofi Kingston, Mark Henry, MVP, Christian & R-Truth vs. Team Orton: Kapitän Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, William Regal & CM Punk

Zur einer guten Survivor Series gehören diese Elimination Matches dazu. Hier haben wir das vielleicht interessanteste, da viele Fehden ineinander greifen. Orton vs. Kingston sehe ich hier am interessantesten. Ich erwarte ein tolles Match mit einem Sieg der Heels.

Tipp: Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, William Regal & CM Punk

Traditional Survivor Series Elimination

Tag Team Match
Team Morrison: Kapitän John Morrison, Benjamin, Bourne, Matt Hardy & Finlay vs. Team Miz: Kapitän The Miz, Jack Swagger, Sheamus, Drew McIntyre & Dolph Ziggler

In diesem traditionellen Match sehen wir vor allem die jüngere Generation der WWE mit Dolph Ziggler, John Morisson, Jack Swagger, Evan Bourne und The Miz. Hier erwarte ich ein tolles Match mit vielen Spotlights von Bourne, Benjamin & Co. Hier tippe ich auf die Faces

Tipp: John Morrison, Benjamin, Bourne, Matt Hardy & Finlay

Traditional Survivor Series Elimination

Tag Team Match
Team Mickie: Mickie James, Eve Torres, Kelly Kelly, Melina & Gail Kim vs. Team Michelle: Michelle McCool, Jillian Hall, Beth Phoenix, Layla & Alicia Fox

Auch die Diven haben ein Elimination Match bekommen. Von der Klasse her würde ich die Heels mit Jillian, Beth, und Michelle vorne sehen. Bei den Faces sehe ich nur Mickie und Melina als echte Wrestlerinnen an. Ich tippe auf einen recht schnellen Sieg von den Heels.

Tipp: Michelle McCool, Jillian Hall, Beth Phoenix, Layla & Alicia Fox

Fazit

Ich finde die Mischung aus absolut toll aufgestellten Triple Threat Matches und den Eliminationen Matches sehr gut. Zumal mit Batista gegen Rey noch ein Sahnestück dabei sein könnte. Mir gefällt die Card und ich freue mich auf die Card.

Etwas Neues gibt es auch bei Sky. Man kann die Survivor Series unter select.sky.de ohne Abo für 20 € bestellen.

Ich wünsche viel Spaß bei der Survivor Series

Geschrieben von Florian Hellmuth

Bildquellen: Offizielles WWE PPV Poster, Quelle Halle: ncaatradition.com

Bryan Danielson aplicando un perfecto "Toque Tapatio", también conocido como "Tiger Suplex" / Photo by George Tahinos

WWE ha mantenido a los mismos luchadores en los primeros planos por casi toda esta década, CM Punk ha sido el único en año recientes en ser empujado a nivel de campeón mundial, Jeff Hardy lo logró también, pero el ya era veterano en la empresa

Ante la necesidad de WWE, de refrescar los eventos estelares, uno o más luchadores, tendrán que ser llevados a ese punto en el corto plazo, ¿quién de los nuevo talentos será el primero en conseguir el título WWE o el World Heavyweight Championship? (El título ECW no cuenta en este nivel)

Luchadores como Christian quedan fuera, pues también son ya veteranos. Luchadores como Bryan Danileson y Dos Caras Jr. tienen un nivel técnico increíblemente superior al resto, pero sabemos que en WWE, el micrófono a veces cuenta más

Aquí podemos ver el nuevo intro que está utilizando RAW, donde ya aparecen las “nuevas” estrellas de la marca, como Jack Swagger, Sheamus y Evan Bourne, además de la recién devuelta Melina

Monday Night Raw 11/16/09
Madison Square Garden
New York, NY
Announcers: Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler

- We open the show backstage where Roddy Piper is sitting inside Piper’s Pit. He is back and he has Luis Guzman with him in the Pit. They pimp Guzman’s upcoming movie before Piper goes into a random rant about how he destroyed Mr. T. As a treat, Piper flew in the Iron Chef Bobby Flay…actually it is just Iron Sheik, not the Iron Chef. Luis brings up Hulk Hogan and Sheik goes off on a rant about that jabroni. Sheik has old school LJN figures and has his replica beat on the Hogan figure. The Bella Twins come in and all five of them do a SNL style opening to send us to our new animation and theme music. We then head inside the World’s Most Famous Arena, Madison Square Garden where the NYC fans are revved up and ready to go. Cole and King run down the card as we head to the ring for our opening contest.

1) Miz vs. MVP for the United States Championship

Miz makes his way through the sweet old school entrance way that we are rocking tonight. Miz has the mic and says the people have chosen to hate him before even uttering a word. He gives MY World Series Champion New York Yankees a plug…before tearing them down a bit, using the lame “they bought a championship” excuse. Miz is drowned out by a “Let’s Go Yankees” chant as the Garden is flat out rocking tonight. He didn’t have to buy his US Title because he earned it and he will prove it tonight. MVP makes his way out to a great pop as he is sporting a Yankee hat. He gives it to his girl Sherri Shepherd, who is at ringside. MVP starts hot and dominates Miz, eventually knocking him to the floor. MVP tosses him back in but Miz catches him with a boot to the knee and then spikes his head into the ring post. MVP fired his way back into things and was able to drop the Ballin’ Elbow. Miz avoided the Playmaker but MVP got a good near fall off a big boot. Miz would regain control with a boot to the gut and then pick up the win with the SCF in a peppy opener. MVP loses again but Miz needs these quality TV title defenses. They kept the crowd into it as well. Nice match. Miz d. MVP with the Skull Crushing Finale; Grade: 1.5

- Miz takes off with his belt as we hit a break.

- Our Sonic Slam of the Week takes us back to last week when Ricky Hatton knocked out Chavo Guerrero. We then head back inside MSG for our next match.

2) Chavo Guerrero vs. Santino Marella

Chavo hits the ring first and then is followed by Santino, who is rocking a Rangers sweater. He takes that off to reveal a Giants jersey, then a Knicks jersey, then a Jets jersey, then a Mets jersey, then a Phillies jersey and finally a Derek Jeter Yankee jersey! Chavo wants to fight and Santino obliges. Chavo hits the Three Amigos and tries to go for the Frog Splash but Santino keeps rolling around the ring. Chavo keeps climbing every corner, but Santino just rolls all around. Degenerate Horny comes out to run interference, allowing Santino to roll Chavo up for the win. Well that was pure comedy and not much else. Marella d. Guerrero with a roll up; Grade: 0

- And the bell has barely stopped echoing before DX makes their way out to the ring to a big pop. Hunter puts over MSG and the DX Army. They wanted to come out, have some fun and sell some merchandise but it isn’t going to happen. Shawn says they aren’t coming out here to let us know that the DX book is out on WWEShop.com right now. Shawn tosses a copy to Sherri Shepherd as Hunter says they are here to talk about the Big Fat Elephant in the room…and not the Big Show…but the triple threat match this Sunday. Hunter says they are on the same page and will not implode or turn on each other. They have come to terms that only one of them can be champion and the only thing that matters is that the belt comes to DX. Shawn now wants to move on to another small piece of business and that involves a member of the Leprechaun community. Hunter says he has been warned but keeps wearing the DX merchandise that he did not pay for. Hunter tells him to come out now and they will consider letting him join DX. Horny pops out from under the ring and is very excited. He crotch chops his way around the ring until Hunter makes him stop. They have Horny line up to do the Suck It catchphrase, but Hunter stops in the middle, kicks Horny and drops him with a Pedigree. They tell Horny to Suck It and leave him lying there and I just have no idea where this is all heading. Hunter and Shawn reach under the ring and pull out a mini stretcher that is tagged with the DX logo. They load Horny on it and carry him to the back as we go to break.

- We are back and getting a quick look at last segment once more. Hunter’s goofy smile before dropping the Pedigree was pretty funny. Cole and King then pimp Jay-Z’s newest CD. They put over MSG and intro a great WWE in MSG History video package set to “Empire State of Mind”, highlighting all the big moments. That was an awesome piece of business. Cole talks about our main event before we head backstage. Piper is prancing around the Pit when he is joined Chris Jericho. Jericho says all guest hosts have disrespected him, and Piper is included in that group. He makes fun of Jericho’s hair and then brings in Chris Masters. He cues up “Boom, Boom, Boom” by the Black Eyed Peas and Masters does his dancing pec act for us. The Bellas are all about that as well. Masters, the Bellas and Piper all take off as Jericho glares angrily. Back in the arena, we see that the two Black Eyed Peas that are not Will.I.Am. or Fergie are in the house before heading to break.

- Back from break, Justin Roberts brings out Judah Friedlander from 30 Rock with a crazy over the top introduction. He will be the guest ring announcer for our next match.

3) Melina vs. Alicia Fox in a Lumberjill match for the Divas Championship

Melina is out first and is ready to defend her title. Alicia is out next and we are good to go. Alicia wants Judah to announce her as the new champion. Judah refuses because he only came out here to watch Melina’s entrance. And he also has to announce that this is now a Lumberjill match. All the Divas involved the Survivor Series bout head out and surround the ring. We get some standard Diva action mixed with the usual Lumberjill antics around the ring. Melina hits a nice flapjack but Alicia countered with a stiff tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Melina eventually hits the Last Call for the win. Melina d. Alicia with the Last Call; Grade: 1

- After the bell, Michelle comes in and jumps Melina to trigger a big brawl. The face team wins out and Judah hops in the ring to celebrate as well. Cole tells us that Piper’s Pit will be next after this break.

- We are back from break as Cole plugs Survivor Series week on WWE.com. He then announces the USA/WWE TV deal to renew the Raw contract through 2014. And with that, the great “Rowdy” Roddy Piper makes his way into the arena amidst the all too familiar sounds of bagpipes. Piper thanks the fans for his recurring MSG standing ovations. He made his career on not being nice and only New Yorkers would put up with that. He is a NY orphan child. He embarrassed Cyndi Lauper in this ring, but she did a good job of that herself as well. He took on the biggest legends of the ring right here like Captain Lou, Bruno, Andre and Hogan and if they messed with Hot Rod they end up bald or dead. He loves them all, mainly the dead ones and not the bald ones. He takes credit for Hogan’s baldness and says he couldn’t resist the jab. He has one more dirty rotten nasty job to do before he checks out and that is one more match…against Vince McMahon! He knows that Vince is a big fan of his because when he did Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel, he got fired right here in MSG afterwards. He knows Vince is here and he barely has to goad the boss before he struts out to the ring. Vince rags on Piper’s dye job and he tells Piper that the most heinous thing he has done in MSG was show up tonight. He rips on Piper’s arms, legs and knees and his catcher’s mitt face. The only thing that hasn’t dried up and withered away is Piper’s kilt. Vince’s forefathers would be ashamed of him if he soiled his hands with Piper here in MSG. Vince calls Piper “Father Time” after Piper makes fun of Vince’s suit and gray hair. Vince is on a roll tonight and says he has always looked better than his opponents and he has beaten all the big stars. Unless there is better competition in his future, Vince is officially retired from ring action. Piper calls him a coward for backing out of a fight. He has 7,000 matches and 30 car crashes and he is not sane. He has been electrocuted, gone down in a plane and beaten cancer and he can beat Vince too. Piper doesn’t want the match on PPV or at Wrestlemania because he wants Vince to come down and fight later tonight. Piper will retire him officially if they fight tonight. Piper heads off as Vince looks around and we head to break.

- As an aside, Jesse Ventura will host next week’s three hour Raw Thanksgiving special.

- We are back and King is wondering if Vince will accept Piper’s challenge. We then head back to the ring for our next bout. Sheamus makes his way down the aisle as we get clips of his destruction of Jamie Noble from two weeks ago. Cole tells us that Noble has officially retired. Sheamus introduces himself and says he has been on Raw for four weeks and has already retired one wrestler. He issues an open challenge to anyone in the back. Nobody answers the call so he heads to ringside and grabs timekeeper Mark Yeaton. He wipes him out with a kneelift and then tosses him across the announce table and onto the floor. Now the King drops his headset and goes to check on Yeaton but Sheamus kills him with a big boot to the head. Sheamus leaves as Cole and some officials check on the King and Yeaton. We get a replay of the brutality and then see King being helped to the back as we take a break.

- We are back and Matt Striker has joined Cole at ringside. They run down the Survivor Series card for us, as we are just six days away. We then head back to the ring for our next match.

4) Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger

Air Bourne hits the ring as he is set to take on his archrival, Jack Swagger. As Swagger heads to the ring, we take a quick break. When we return, we see that Swagger has overpowered Bourne to take control. The crowd continues to be lively, so kudos to them. Bourne tries to comeback but Swagger just drills him with a big clothesline from behind. Bourne finally uses his quick strike offense to get on track and pick up some near falls. Swagger catches Bourne on a moonsault attempt, stampedes him into the corner and then plants him with the gutwrench suplex for the nice win. This could have been much better, but was just too short. I hope they get an extended sequence on Sunday. Swagger d. Bourne with the gutwrench suplex; Grade: 1

- Swagger celebrates as we cut backstage to see Piper walking before we head off to break.

- We are back from break and the bagpipes are blaring again as Roddy Piper is in the ring. Piper is looking pretty good I must say. And it looks like Piper’s challenge will be answered, but it won’t be by Vince McMahon, because we are being joined by Randy Orton. Orton doesn’t know if McMahon is coming out, but he knows that Piper has a big problem because Orton is here. The crowd is chanting for Orton. Randy can’t think of a better way to relieve stress than to put Piper down. Orton kicks Piper but Piper fires back with a right hand. Orton kicks him again and then clubs him down. He stomps away at Roddy as Striker eulogizes Hot Rod. This show improved immediately upon Striker taking over for Lawler. Before Orton can punt Piper, Kofi Kingston hits the ring and hammers away at Orton. Orton slithers away and heads to the back, but Kofi goes out after him. Piper cheers Kofi on as he takes it to Randy. Kofi tosses him into the fans and follows him with a flurry of fists. Orton is able to ram Kofi into a cheer but Kofi fights back and runs Orton into the barricade. The fight has evened out as they trade blows. Orton sends Kofi back to ringside and starts to stomp on Kofi’s midsection. Orton tosses him back into the ring and slingshots him throat first into the bottom rope. Kofi is on his stomach and Orton lines up for the punt. Orton charges but Kofi pops up and hits Orton with a cross body. He hammers away until Orton bails to the floor. Kofi follows him out again and they continue to brawl around ringside. Kofi throws Orton back over the barricade but Orton meets him with a boot. They are clubbing on each other as a gaggle of officials breaks things up. That doesn’t last long as Orton breaks free and the fight starts up again. The officials hold Orton back again and that allows Kofi to dive onto him. They keep slugging away at each other and end up in the second level of seats above the tech area. Kofi runs him into the railing and then flips him over it and down to the tech area. Kofi grabs a steel lift and smacks Orton across the head with it. Orton is sliced open and it looks like it may be hardway. The crowd is chanting for Kofi as he hops back up to the second level. He climbs on the barricade and is about to launch onto the prone Orton but the officials stop him before he can leap. Kofi breaks free and charges back to the barricade. He leaps high into the air and puts Orton through a table with a great looking Boomdrop. Kofi is over like rover, boys. Orton is left broken on the table. Kofi stands tall and his music fires up as the crowd cheers him on. That was a great brawl and Kofi has taken the ball and run crazy with it.

- We are back and Matt Striker is thanking Nickelback for the new Raw theme song. We then head backstage where John Cena is standing alone. He does the usual promo, plugging New York, discussing the upcoming main event and putting over the Undertaker. He talks about Survivor Series as well, calling his match a handicap match. A PA walks over and hands Cena a note. He throws it down and says it changes everything. He clarifies that it is a triple threat match and not a handicap match. Cena rants on some more about the match Sunday and then heads off as we hit the ring.

5) Chris Jericho & Big Show vs. Shawn Michaels & Triple H vs. John Cena & Undertaker in a non title match

Big Show and Chris Jericho are out first but first we are taking one last break. As we return, Cole reminds us that Ventura will be the guest host next week and Striker breaks out a good Jesse imitation. DX is out next, followed by Cena and finally Undertaker, who gets the big druid entrance and classic “Undertaker” MSG chant. Taker gets a big time pop, natch. We are well into the over run here and the match hasn’t even started yet. Cena, Jericho and Michaels start things off but Jericho quickly tags in Show. Shawn obliges and tags Hunter so Cena tags in Taker too. Taker and Hunter turn their attention to Show and start double teaming him. Hunter hits a facebuster and Taker clotheslines Show to the floor. We get some vintage Hunter and Taker until Shawn is tagged in. He and Taker stare each other down before going at it. Show makes his way back in and spears Taker before clubbing Michaels down as well. He tags in Jericho who picks apart Michaels before hooking the Walls. Taker breaks that up but Cena tags himself in from behind before Taker can do anything. All six men tag in and out and the flow is pretty good here as the star power is just oozing from the ring. Show plants Cena and Hunter with a double chokeslam in a cool spot. Taker comes in and hits Show with a big clothesline. He knocks Show to the floor but Show whips him into the barricade. Jericho nearly steals a victory but only gets two. Hunter is able to tag Shawn and he hits Jericho with the vintage Michaels moveset. Shawn cues up the band on Cena but Cena ducks it and takes Shawn down with a shoulderblock. He hits the five knuckle shuffle and hoists Shawn up for the AA but Hunter reaches in and tags Shawn’s back. Hunter rolls through Cena and Jericho but Show stops him with a headbutt. Shawn drills Show with SCM, but Jericho catches him with the codebreaker. Taker drops Jericho with a chokeslam, but he gets knocked to the floor. Cena comes in and hits Triple H with the AA for the win. That was a wild little brawl and the crowd was rocking the whole time. Cena & Undertaker d. Show & Jericho and Triple H & Michaels when Cena pins Triple H with the Attitude Adjustment; Grade: 2.5

- Taker comes back in and plants Cena with a Tombstone. Taker stands tall in the ring as we fade out. This was a really fun show tonight that was aided by the fresh MSG look, different entrance and smoking hot crowd. Piper was awesome as always and the show just flowed well from beginning to end. The Kofi/Orton brawl was great stuff as well as Orton has just done everything he can to help elevate Kofi. See you next week for the three hour Raw Thanksgiving special and the Body will be in the house!

Final Grade: B+

Monday Night Raw 11/9/09
Sheffield Arena
Sheffield, England
Announcers: Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler

- We start this week’s show with a recap of last week’s goings on involving JeriShow, DX and John Cena. We then hit our opening animation before heading inside the Sheffield Arena where we are on tape from Jolly Ol’ England! Michael Cole welcomes us to Raw as we are just a scant two weeks away from Survivor Series. And right out of the gate, Justin Roberts brings out tonight’s Guest Host: Ricky Hatton. He makes his way out, escorted by the Bella Twins, natch. The crowd welcomes him warmly as Cole and King put him over a bit. Hatton welcomes us to Raw and talks about his memories in Sheffield. We even get some clips of his title unification match from a few years and 75 pounds ago. He talks a bit more about his excitement before he is rudely interrupted by JeriShow. They are looking super swank as always as they strut down to the ring with smiles on their faces. Show gets right up to Hatton and stares down at him, saying his breakfast was bigger than Hatton is. Show isn’t impressed with Hatton’s credentials and asks him to leave the ring. Hatton wants to why Show has to act like this because he is a big fan of WWE and Big Show. Well, he loves when Show got knocked out at Wrestlemania anyway. Show says he wants to give Hatton a free shot, just like he did for Mayweather. The difference is that Show gets to knock Hatton out after he takes his swing. Show awaits but Hatton says he needs a ladder to take up the challenge. Show drops to his knees and offers the shot again. Hatton is about to strike but Jericho cuts him off and calls him “little man”. Jericho doesn’t want Show to get embarrassed by another lowlife boxer. They get into a little argument about their upcoming triple threat match at Survivor Series. Show calls Jericho “Napoleon” and says he will be walking out as the new Champion at Survivor Series. Hatton has had enough and he wants to see JeriShow defending their tag team titles against DX. Jericho rips on Hatton, the British fans and the Royal Family. Hatton says he can’t understand a word Jericho is saying and asks him to speak English. Jericho calls him a “punch drunk” but Hatton says Jericho is just a guy with a bad haircut. They circle around Hatton until DX heads to the ring to save Ricky. Hunter asks JeriShow why they keep messing with the Guest Hosts when they always end up getting embarrassed. He says Hatton was ten seconds away from knocking both of them out before DX came out. The crowd chants for Ricky as Hunter thanks him for the match tonight. Shawn wants to throw down right now instead of later. Show disrobes as Jericho hits the deck. Show shakes his fists a bit before quickly turning around and leaving the ring. JeriShow head up the aisle as Hatton and DX play to the crowd and we head off to break.

- The Ratchet & Clank Slam of the Week takes us to last week’s Diva Battle Royal, which was won by Alicia Fox. Back live, we head to the ring for our opening match.

1) Kelly vs. Alicia Fox

Kelly makes her way out first and she is joined by Gail Kim, her partner at the upcoming Survivor Series. Alicia is out next and she is accompanied by Jillian. Cole tells us that Alicia will get her title match next week on Raw, live from MSG. Kelly takes Alicia down and hammers away at her. Alicia drives her into the middle rope and then spikes her into the mat face first for two. Melina is watching the match backstage as she preps for the title match next week. Alicia clotheslines Kelly and then she spikes her into the mat again. Alicia hooks a rear chinlock but Kelly works out of it. She lands a clothesline and a face plant and then follows with a headscissors takeover for two. Kelly hits a Rocker Dropper and gets another near fall. Kelly goes for another headscissors takeover but Alicia hot shots her across the top rope. Alicia follows with a big scissors kick for the win. Alicia d. Kelly with a scissors kick; Grade: .5

- Alicia mocks Kelly as Cole takes us to a special Wrestlemania ticket sale video package. Backstage, Ricky Hatton and his son are walking the walls and greeting various people, including John Cena. After an unintelligible exchange, the Hattons head off as we go to break.

- We are back and the King is thanking Art of Dying for the Survivor Series theme song “Get Thru This”. Cole then takes back to last week when Sheamus made his Raw debut by destroying Jamie Noble. King tells us that Noble is contemplating retirement after that beating.

2) Sheamus vs. British Jobber

As Sheamus hits the ring, we find out that he will be on Miz’s team at Survivor Series. Sheamus has the mic and takes credit for ending Noble’s career last week. They lock up off the bell and Sheamus just clubs the jobber down. He clubs away at him and beats him viciously all around the ring. He crushes him with the Urinage backbreaker and then drills him with a stiff kick. He hoists the jobber up and drops with a Crucifix Powerbomb for the win. I am so pumped that move is finally back! Sheamus keeps on rolling. I hope they give him the Bad News Brown treatment at the PPV and have him walk out on his team. Sheamus d. Jobber with a Crucifix Powerbomb; Grade: 1

- Sheamus celebrates his destruction as we take a break.

- We are back from break and Cole is pimping the Survivor Series section of WWE.com. They then show us some stills of the Hatton Health & Fitness Center in Hyde. Backstage, the Bellas are chatting up Ricky, giving him a chance to promote himself. I don’t have an idea about anything he is saying, sadly. The Bellas as Ricky for some darts lessons but Santino Marella interrupts, dressed in some interesting boxing garb. Apparently he is “Ricky Fatton”. Santino says that British ladies love fat guys with bad teeth. Chavo now comes in for more of our weekly hijinks. Chavo says he won the Cinco Dart Mayo competition three years in a row and wants to show off a bit. Chavo grabs a dart but misses badly. Hatton steps up and drills a bulls-eye. Chavo shrugs it off and challenges Santino to a match. Hatton steps in and says he wants to see boxer vs. wrestler so he will take on Chavo tonight. The crowd likes that one. Chavo storms off as Santino offers to be in Hatton’s corner.

Elsewhere, Josh Matthews is with Miz. Miz reminds us that he defeated John Morrison at Bragging Rights and claims he will do it again at Survivor Series. He puts over his team, calling them the future of WWE. Before he can finish, Jack Swagger comes in to chat. Swagger reminds us that he is still undefeated, per his promise from five weeks ago. They argue a bit more until Swagger heads of and we hit a break.

3) Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger

We are back from break and Evan Bourne is heading down to the ring for our next bout. Swagger is out next and is oozing confidence. Swagger picks up Bourne off the bell and slams him down the mat. Swagger spikes Bourne down and then hits a Vader Bomb. Swagger hooks a surfboard submission as the crowd rallies Bourne. Swagger buries a shoulder to Bourne’s gut but he eats a knee on a follow up attempt. Bourne takes Swagger down for two. He roll Swagger up and gets another near fall. Bourne kicks away at Swagger but jack clubs him back down. Swagger hoists Bourne up but he rides Swagger down with knees to the face. Swagger kicks Bourne down as Miz’s music fires up and the captain heads down to the ring. Swagger hits a Urinage but he allows Bourne to roll to the apron. Bourne blocks a suplex and kicks Swagger in the face. Bourne heads up top and hits a beautiful Air Bourne for the win! Swagger’s streak is dead. Bourne picks up a nice win in another good match between these two. Bourne d. Swagger with Air Bourne; Grade: 2

- Miz reminds Swagger that he is the team captain at Survivor Series and not Swagger. Jack stares at Miz as we take a break.

- When we return, we see some clips of two weeks ago when Kyle Busch and Joey Logano showed off their WWE race cars. We then get highlights of them racing said cars this past weekend. Busch won the race as well and showed off his WWE Championship belt post race. Back in the arena, the VIP Lounge is set up and MVP and Mark Henry are chilling inside it. MVP welcomes us to the show and Mark Henry brings out their guest, Kofi Kingston, with a great introduction. MVP also tells us that Kingston is the captain of their Survivor Series team. Kofi hits the ring and is all smiles. Kofi puts over MVP and Henry a bit before MVP tells the tale of Kofi destroying Orton’s car. Henry then takes us to clips from last week when Kofi, MVP and Henry defeated Legacy. Kofi says that is only a taste of what is to come at Survivor Series. MVP has Henry pop a bottle of champagne so they can raise a toast to Kofi. Before they can drink up, Legacy stalks down to the ring. They try to get into the VIP Lounge, but the security guard stands in their way. Orton stares him down until he opens the rope and lets them in. All six men stare each down until Orton starts to speak. He says Henry, MVP and Kofi are low class street thugs. Henry stole a victory last week, MVP is the definition of a common criminal and Kofi should be in jail after destroying Randy’s car. The only reason Orton hasn’t put Kofi down yet is so he can embarrass him at the PPV. Cody calls MVP “Montel” and rips on the VIP Lounge. Ted makes fun of the pleather couches and cheap champagne. He also tells MVP that his bank account is larger, but MVP clarifies that it is his dad’s account. Orton says Legacy belongs in the ring while Henry, Kofi and MVP belong in the hood where they came from. An intense stare down rages on as we take a break.

4) Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton

When we return from break, the match is already underway. They circle around each other until Orton grabs a side headlock. Henry plants him with a shoulderblock but Orton kicks his knee and trips him into the middle buckle. Orton stomps away at Henry and then hammers away in the corner. Henry hooks a bear hug but Orton slugs free. Henry knocks him back to the mat and gets two. Henry misses an elbow drop and Orton lands some boots to the arms and legs. He follows with a leaping kneedrop for two. Orton keeps putting the boots to Henry before hooking a front facelock. Orton gets a near fall and then drops some more knees to the face. Orton hooks a chinlock as the crowd stirs a bit. Cole tells us that MVP and DiBiase will wrestle on Superstars this week. Henry fights up and slams Orton to the mat for two. They trade some right hands before Henry plants Orton with a clothesline. Orton bails to the corner and Henry splashes him. He lands a series of headbutts as Orton is staggering in the corner. Henry drops his head down on a whip and Orton goes for a sunset flip. Henry fights it and pulls Orton up by his throat but Orton slinks free and hits the RKO for the win. That was a basic match that had a neat finish. Orton gets a much needed win there too. Orton d. Henry with the RKO; Grade: 1.5

- Kofi comes in to check on Henry but Orton comes in get in his face. Kofi fights him off and Legacy bails as we take a break.

- As we return, Cole tells us that the new Raw theme will debut next week. It is entitled “Burn it to the Ground” and is performed by Nickelback. Sigh.

5) Chavo Guerrero vs. Ricky Hatton in a Boxer vs. Wrestler Mixed Martial Arts match

And with that, Chavo Guerrero is making his way down to the ring. Lawler talks about his boxer vs. wrestler match with Leon Spinks back in the day. Hatton is out next, wearing his boxing gear and a sombrero to mock Chavo. This is Hatton’s first match since May. Justin Roberts gives us the big match introductions and runs down the rules. Hatton gets a big hometown pop and apparently only weighs slightly over 140 pounds and Lawler is as incredulous about that one as I am. Chavo bails to the apron to start, avoiding the charging Hatton. The crowd is serenading Hatton as he eggs them on. Hatton peppers Chavo with some jabs in the corner but Chavo quickly rolls out to the floor. Chavo comes back and takes Hatton down, but Ricky escapes and both men get back up. Chavo catches him with a kick and clubs on his back. Chavo tries to take him down but Hatton smacks him with a big right hand. Chavo can’t beat the count and Hatton wins the match via knock out. Hatton d. Guerrero via knockout; Grade: 0

- Hatton greets his fans around ringside as we go to break.

- Back live, Cole and King run down the Survivor Series card as the show is just two weeks away. Backstage, John Cena is talking to Hornswoggle, who is still wearing the DX gear. Cena warns him to stop wearing it or he will lose a lot of money in court. Horny runs off as DX comes in looking for him but Cena tells them to focus on their match tonight instead of finding Horny. They discuss Survivor Series as Hunter gets a funny “Tweeting” joke in, not that there’s anything wrong with that. Michaels says that Cena is distracting them and playing the old shell game in hiding the Leprechaun. Cena calls the “whimsical Leprechaun” Horny back in and he is now wearing Cena gear this time. After DX takes off, Horny rips off the Cena shirt and hat to reveal the DX merch. He laughs and crotch chops as we take a break. That was a funny little segment.

- We are back and Cole takes us back to last week to see clips of the Osbournes taking Raw for a ride on the crazy train. I could watch Chris Masters’ performance art presentation of Crazy Train all day long. Not that there’s anything wrong that. Back live, Cole tells us that Roddy Piper will be in the house next week as he hosts Raw from MSG! We are then joined by John Cena who gets a big split reaction, as is the norm. Cena hops in on commentary as it is main event time.

6) Shawn Michaels & Triple H vs. Chris Jericho & Big Show in a non title match

JeriShow is out first as Cole reminds us that Jericho will take on Undertaker on Smackdown. It is the first ever one on one match for those two, so check it out. DX is out next and they get a jolly good pop. Cena is so much better when he just speaks like a normal human being as he is doing on commentary right now. Jericho and Michaels kick things off as Chris puts him down with a shoulderblock. Michaels comes back with a chop and then tags in Hunter. He runs Jericho into the corner but eats a boot on a charge. Jericho slugs away and follows with some boots to the gut. Hunter ducks a clothesline and lands a high knee. Hunter takes Jericho down and slingshots him over the top to the floor as we take our final break. When we come back, Jericho drills Michaels with a kick to the face before tagging in Show. Michaels dropkicks Show’s knee but can only get a one count. Michaels leaps onto Show but Show spikes him back to the mat with a headbutt. Show walks across Michaels and tags in Jericho. Cena is proving some good insight about the upcoming triple threat match on commentary. Jericho tags in Show, who clubs Michaels across the back to maintain control. Michaels is able to crawl over and tag in Hunter. He hits a facebreaker and goes for the Pedigree but Show backdrops out of it. He nails Hunter with a spear and beats on him a bit before tagging Jericho back in. Jericho hooks a modified sleeper as Hunter fights to his feet. Jericho takes Hunter down and gets two. The crowd is pretty much dead at this point which is surprising. Jericho tags in Show and they give Hunter the wishbone treatment. Show stands on Hunter’s back as Cena’s commentary continues to be the best part of the match. Show hits a big splash and gets two. Show grabs a reverse bear hug and then releases it and lands some hard right hands to the gut. He tags in Jericho but Hunter starts to fire back a bit. Jericho regains control but Hunter catches him with a spinebuster. Hunter crawls over and tags Shawn. He hits all the Vintage Michaels maneuvers on Jericho, taking out Show in the process. Shawn tunes up the band but Jericho ducks it and takes Shawn down. Shawn avoids the Walls but Show splashes him from behind. Show swings at Michaels, but he ducks and Show cracks Jericho with a big right hand. Hunter takes Show out and Michaels covers Jericho for the win. This was totally paint by numbers and pretty heatless. Michaels & Triple H d. Jericho & Show when Michaels pins Jericho after a Show punch to the head; Grade: 2

- As DX regroups in the ring, Justin Roberts tells us that next week’s main event will see DX battle JeriShow and Cena & Undertaker in a triple threat match! Taker appears to a huge pop. He stands on the ramp and all six men stare each other down as we fade out. This was a solid enough show tonight and I will say that it was very focused throughout. Hatton was fine in the role but he was hard to understand. The crowd was pretty flat and wasn’t nearly as hot as past British crowds. Still, we got some really good PPV build and a couple of decent matches mixed in. Next week’s show brings us home to New York City as Raw will emanate live from Madison Square Garden. See you then!

Final Grade: C-

Enough is enough and it’s time for a change.

Longtime wrestling fans may remember that as Owen Hart’s catchphrase, which is appropriate given today’s topic – the defunct Cruiserweight Championship.

Hart was an incredible wrestler who could take to the air with the best of them and, in a day when aerial maneuvers were still in their infancy stages in the United States, he was a man ahead of the times.

If the Cruiserweight gold had been around during Hart’s tenure with the WWE, he no doubt would have been a multi-time champion. Unfortunately, he never got that opportunity and, sadly, neither will many of today’s best high-flyers.

The Cruiserweight Championship has been retired for more than two years now, ever since Vickie Guerrero—then the General Manager of Smackdown—stripped Hornswoggle of the title, rendering it vacant.

Six months later the WWE officially removed the title from the “active title” list and placed it alongside other defunct relics of days gone by such as the European and Hardcore Championships.

As such, I’m channeling Hart with my cry that enough is enough and it’s time for a change…it’s time to bring back the Cruiserweight Championship.

The WWE has struggled for years to create new superstars, a fact that is not lost on Vince McMahon or any of his cronies in the front-office.

They’ve attempted to shove behemoths such as The Great Khali, Vladimir Kozlov, and Bobby Lashley down our throats only to see all three fail.

It is a different crop of smaller, faster, and infinitely more-talented superstars that are getting over with the WWE fans. Men like Kofi Kingston, John Morrison, Dolph Ziggler, Evan Bourne, Yoshi Tatsu and a whole host of others have proven themselves in a way the overgrown and under-talented behemoths couldn’t.

These are exactly the type of superstars who have historically benefited from the Cruiserweight Championship.

For years, the Cruiserweight Championship—and for the sake of this article the Lightweight Championship, which eventually unified with the Cruiserweight Championship—were used to push some of WCW and WWE’s smaller, yet supremely-talented, superstars.

Men such as Chris Jericho, Rey Mysterio, Eddie Guerrero, and Jeff Hardy have worn an incarnation of the Cruiserweight or Lightweight Championships and gone on to become World Champions in the WWE.

Chavo Guerrero, Christian, and Matt Hardy all propelled from their reigns as Cruiserweight or Lightweight Champions to eventually rule in the land of extreme as ECW Champion.

Rather than bring back the title to push some of the smaller, more exciting superstars on the roster, the WWE has chosen to leave it retired and use many of those wrestlers as glorified jobbers.

Superstars such as Evan Bourne, Chavo Guerrero, and Jamie Noble could all be top-flight Cruiserweight Champions, but the WWE would rather they get beaten and destroyed in the ring by anyone from Sheamus to Hornswoggle.

Enough is enough and it’s time for a change.

The WWE has an incredible opportunity to build a new wave of exciting superstars simply by reactivating the Cruiserweight Championship.

Many superstars would see their careers—which are currently sitting in neutral—become re-energized with real opportunity and the chance to put on five-star matches, the kind that most of the WWE’s upper-card is greatly lacking.

The WWE’s biggest competitor, Total Nonstop Action has—in the past—made it a point to push the X-Division.

Although a two-year lull of dependence on aging superstars with “name-value” stunted the growth of the division, no less than half a dozen superstars could say they were “born” within the X-Division’s heyday.

The WWE needs to look around the roster and take stock of all the talent they’re currently wasting by using them as curtain-jerkers and fodder for the upper mid-card.

My recommendation is that the WWE bring back the Cruiserweight Championship in ECW, but allow it to be defended on all shows.

The title would largely be defended on ECW and Superstars and hopefully, the popularity would grow enough for the title and the men who ply their exceptional skills to get the respect they deserve on the A and B shows, RAW and Smackdown, respectively.

The new Cruiserweight Division could logically contain a myriad of talented, underutilized superstars such as: Carlito, Chavo Guerrero, Eric Escobar, Evan Bourne, Gregory Helms, Jamie Noble, Jimmy Wang Yang, JTG, Kung Fu Naki, Primo, R-Truth, Santino Marella, Slam Master J, Tyson Kidd, and Yoshi Tatsu among many others.

Additionally, reviving the Cruiserweight Division could serve as a good jumping off point for debuting superstars in the future.

Current developmental wrestlers such as Kaval (Low-Ki) and Justin Angel would benefit in a big way from debuting in the Cruiserweight Division rather than toiling for months on ECW’s undercard with nothing to show for it but wins over Goldust and Tommy Dreamer.

If the WWE were to wise up and make the decision to reinstate the Cruiserweight Championship, the biggest question would be whether or not we could trust the writing team to avoid their urge to turn smaller wrestlers into a joke.

In its rather brief existence the title has had periods of brilliance and periods of absolute absurdity, if the latter is the likely outcome of a title return, leave it retired.

However, if the writing team can be counted on to use the division and title to legitimately push new talent; they should waste no time in bringing back one of the most exciting championships in wrestling.

Enough is enough and it’s time for a change.

WWE Raw
November 2, 2009
Worcester, MA
DCU Center

Note: Justin was watching the Yankees LOSE (sorry big guy) last night, so I’m your substitute Raw recapper. I was watching the Saints/Falcons game which is why this is a day late. My bad.

We see some smoke rising in front of the ring with Ozzy & Sharon Osbourne inside. One of Ozzy’s songs plays overhead. I’m not the biggest Ozzy fan, so I couldn’t tell you what it is and I can’t make out any of the lyrics. Surprised? I mean, it’s Ozzy. ALL ABOARD THE CRAZY TRAIN! Kiddies, this isn’t the first time Ozzy has been inside a WWE ring. Sharon introduces a clip of WrestleMania 2 where Ozzy accompanied the British Bulldogs and yelled, “BRITISH BULLDOGS FOREVERRRRR!” Sigh. He also appeared on Smackdown in 2007 to perform with his band, “I Don’t Wanna Stop”. I did know that one. Alright, let’s move on. Ozzy says he has no recollection of either one of those appearances and the crowd cheers. YAY MIND-ALTERING DRUGS! Where’s CM Punk when you need him? Speaking of MTV whores, The Miz interrupts to say he’s a bigger star than all of the Osbourne family combined. O RLY? Since Ozzy and Sharon are the guest hosts, he wants them to overturn the decision last week where Miz lost to Evan (Os?)Bourne by countout. Ozzy interrupts Miz to ask him who he is. Well he’s certainly not part of the British Bulldogs. He’s Miz and he’s awesome. Now DiBiase and Rhodes interrupt the Miz to tell him how petty he’s being for complaining about a countout loss. They have much bigger problems – Kofi Kingston vandalized the Randy Orton NASCAR and they want a handicap match with that punk – tonight. The interruptions just keep getting bigger as the Big Show comes to the ring. He tells Ozzy to ignore the three complainers in the ring because he was betrayed and assaulted by the entire Raw roster. Now he wants an apology. So Ozzy apologizes? Big Show threatens that somebody is going to get a BIG RIGHT HAND OF DEATH tonight. Ozzy screams “Sharonnnnnn” and out comes Degeneration-X. What the FFFF could they possibly have to complain about? Triple H calls the four already in the ring the “ratings killers”, so they have come to save the day. They plug Ozzy and DX’s books coming out eventually in fine bookstores everywhere. H whispers to Ozzy and then Ozzy repeats as he points to the Miz, “You will wrestle Evan Bron tonight…” and H whispers again, “…for the US title.” Shawn plugs WrestleMania tickets which go on sale this Saturday while taking a dig at Legacy. He whispers to Sharon who repeats back to Legacy, making a Kofi Kingston versus Randy Orton match for later tonight, which isn’t what they asked for at all. Big Show doesn’t want an apology now, maybe he just wants to see a warm-up match for Survivor Series with Shawn Michaels, Triple H, and John Cena. Big Show plays the DX game and whispers his idea to Ozzy, but HHH changes the plans and whispers in Ozzy’s other ear to make a John Cena-Big Show-Chris Jericho main event. Big Show is pissed, but Sharon says these matches are final. If you’re not down with that, you can suck it.

WrestleMania XXVI is coming March 28 2010. Buy your tickets this Saturday at noon at Ticketmaster.com!

• WWE U.S. Champion The Miz vs. Evan Bourne
  

Miz kicks and stomps Bourne around to start. They go for the hiptoss across the ring spot, but Bourne catches himself on the top rope and springs down into a rana on Miz. Spinning heel kick sends Miz to the floor where Bourne follows him out with a slingshot diving double knee drop on the shoulders. Incredible. Back inside, that gets two. Bourne tries to charley horse the leg, but Miz comes back with a knee to the gut. “MIZ IS AWESOME” chants begin. He drops Bourne stomach first on the top rope and then grabs a deep ab stretch on the mat while Cole shills Ozzy’s biography again. How much you want to bet he just read the part about the bat? Bourne escapes a pumphandle slam and falls on top for two. Miz attempts another front suplex, but Bourne knees out and knee strikes Miz into the corner. Shining Wizard misses, but Bourne catches himself and hits a springboard roundhouse kick to the back of the head for 1-2-NO! Miz headbutts the gut and charges Bourne in the corner, but Bourne brings a foot up to block and flips up onto the top turnbuckle for to go AIR BOURNE. Miz moves, but Bourne lands on his feet and charges into a hiptoss that sends him crashing into the corner. SKULL CRUSHING FINALE! It’s all over. (4:14) So Miz gets his win back. They really need to do more with Evan Bourne though. I don’t think there’s any argument there. **

Please don’t try this at home.

Josh Matthews gets a word with Sheamus. Will he try to impress Ozzy Osbourne? He thinks Ozzy should have retired a long time ago and after tonight, Jamie Noble’s career WILL be over. Soooo, I’m guessing the answer is no.

• Sheamus vs. Jamie Noble

At least until Bryan Danielson arrives, Sheamus is the whitest man ever in WWE. Total squash. Sheamus takes Noble to the floor and runs him into the ringpost. Back in, more ripping and tearing and beating and knee strikes before he delivers the IRISH CURSE! Bicycle Kick connects, but Sheamus lifts him up at two. He puts the boots to Noble in the corner until the ref stops the match. (2:24) Oh it’s not over. Sheamus places Noble up top and boots him out to the floor for a POWERBOMB. Here come the referee squad to prevent anymore spine-busting moves. Poor Noble ends up doing a stretcher job. Somewhere I’m sure Bono is smiling. ½*

WWE DID YOU KNOW: Last Monday night, Raw was watched by more male viewers than every program on NBC, the CW, and FOX? Sounds impressive, but let’s see what is on at 9-11 on those networks. CW has Gossip Girl at 9pm, FOX has Lie To Me at 9pm and then the local news at 10pm, and NBC has Trauma at 9pm and the Jay Leno Show at 10pm. So the only show out of that two hour block on those three networks that a majority of the male demo would even WATCH is the Jay Leno Show.

A recap video is shown of last week’s Raw where Kofi Kingston pinned Chris Jericho before being attacked by Randy Orton and knocked off the stage because he ended up costing him the WWE title at Bragging Rights. As a consolation prize, DiBiase and Rhodes made Randy a custom-made NASCAR. Since Kofi was pissed about the shove off the stage, he ends up vandalizing Orton’s new NASCAR.

Josh Matthews stops Kofi Kingston on his way to the ring. The man refuses to be bullied by anybody. Heyyyyyy, where’d your accent go?

• Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston
  

Kofi fights off an assault from Orton and clotheslines him out. Back in, Orton gets dumped out on top of DiBiase and Rhodes who run down to ringside. Here comes Kingston with a suicide dive! That’s all real and good, but it’s 3-on-1 pal. While Legacy surrounds the ring, Ozzy and Sharon interrupt us on the jumbotron and changes this match to a 6-man tag. I thought all the matches were final? MVP and Mark Henry (or The Kool-Aid Men, whichever you wish to call them) head to the ring to join Kofi Kingston. LET THE MADNESS BEGIN! Commercials!

• The Legacy vs. Kofi Kingston, MVP & Mark Henry

When we return, the match is in progress and Kingston is making a comeback out of a chinlock. Double chop to DiBiase! Armdrag and a double chop to Rhodes! VINTAGE STEAMBOAT! Orton takes a hiptoss and heads to the floor. Russian legsweep to DiBiase apparently leaves him for dead as Kingston and MVP deliver STEREO BOOM DROP AND BALLIN. Cover, 1-2-NO! WHAT. In comes Mark Henry, who takes care of a double team attempt from DiBiase and Rhodes. MVP screws it all up and runs into a boot in the corner to become *your* face in peril. This goes on for several minutes while everybody takes their turn punishing MVP and preventing him from making a tag. Belly to belly toss to DiBiase sets up a HOT TAG TO MARK HENRY! Rhodes gets squashed with an Avalanche, but Orton saves him from a running powerslam. RKO? Nope. Kingston saves Henry with a dropkick to Orton that sends him to the outside. Rhodes comes off the top with a flying bodypress, but gets caught for the WORLDS STRONGEST SLAM. See ya later. (9:46 shown for the whole thing) Dang what a hot crowd. This was a perfectly fine formula tag for TV. Kingston stares and points at Orton while he sulks up the aisle way looking as only Orton can look at somebody. **¼

RAW’S GOT TALENT: In this age of terrible talent shows that are DONE to death on basically every major network, I don’t think I need to explain what this means. Ozzy, Sharon, and the Great Khali are your judges. Great – only one person anyone can even understand. Apparently the Ryan Seacrest of the segment, Jerry Lawler, speaks Indo-Aryan all of a sudden and interprets what Khali says. He’s got a big crush on Kelly Osbourne. Sharon would love him as a son-in-law. REALITY SHOWWWWWWW. The first contestant is Santino Marella dressed in his best interpretation of Ozzy Osbourne as he will sing Ozzy’s 1983 hit song “Bark at the Moon”. He’s got ripped up white pants on splattered with “blood”. Perhaps bat blood, Cole? Santino changes his mind and decides to do something as equally impressive. He’s going to bite the head of a bat…man figure. Both Ozzy and Sharon disapprove and give him the thumbs down. STEREO THUMBS DOWN! Chris Masters is the next contestant and booby dances to the beat of “Crazy Train”. Sharon approves while Ozzy & Khali are oddly mesmerized. Our final contestants are Chavo Guerrero and Jillian. She’s a HUGE fan of Ozzy. How about a duet of Ozzy and Lita Ford’s 1989 hit “Close My Eyes Forever”? Yeah, they get buzzed. Jillian says Sharon has always been jealous of Lita Ford and she’s really not even a fan of Ozzy. They head to the ring as Jillian starts singing some Britney Spears. Of course she gets a Linda McMahon slap. Chavo wants Ozzy to control his wife, but he knows he can’t do it by himself. Chavo gets in Sharon’s face until Khali stands up and BRAIN CHOPS him away. Uh oh, Hornswoggle dressed as Jack Osbourne runs down and TADPOLE SPLASHES poor Chavo.

Bouncy Bouncy Smiley Smiley Kelly Kelly is WALKING. He high fives the Bella Twins as they walk past Gail Kim. Just so she doesn’t get left out of this segment, Eve comes over and gives Gail Kim the DOUBLE high five! They’re all smiling! Everybody’s happy and having a good time!

Next week’s host is one of Mayweather’s biggest foes – British pro boxer Ricky Hatton!

• Divas Battle Royal – Winner gets a Divas title shot

Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly, Alicia Fox, Eve, and the Bella Twins are your competitors. Figures the only chick who hits a wrestling move (straight jacket neckbreaker on one of the twins) gets eliminated first by Kelly Kelly. Gail Kim is kind of pissed at that. Jack Swagger comes out to get a closer look at the ladies – specifically Eve. She’s ruling the ring right now eliminating both the Bella Twins until she catches eyes with Swagger and gets tossed by Alicia. Kelly Kelly tries to get rid of Alicia with a Handspring Back Elbow in the corner, but Alicia catches her and throws Kelly to the floor! (2:43) What? Alicia Fox is the new #1 contender. Melina seems somewhat pleased. I would be too. What’s this chick done anyway? ¼*

Update on Jamie Noble: He’s got some serious back and neck issues. Good luck, Jamie! We’ll miss you?

Earlier Tonight: WWE’s Got Boobies and Jackswoggle?

Another recap video shows the recent happenings with Rey Mysterio and his big pal Batista over on Smackdown.

Chris Jericho interrupts what looks like Ozzy tweaking Sharon’s nipples to tell him that he’s a HUGE fan of his, but now he realizes that he’s better than Ozzy. And if either one of them embarrasses him again, it will be “The Ultimate Sin”, won’t it.

Well gee, what’s DX doing? Talking to Jackswoggle I see. They have him hung up to the wall so they can see him at eye level. They rip off his afro wig and warn him to never imitate DX again. John Cena appears for the first time tonight and helps Hornswoggle off the wall as he’s crotch chopping DX. Cena tells DX that you can never hang a leprechaun on a hook. His uncle did it one time, but he only did it once. Once, Hunter…once. Anyways, Hunter tells Cena that he’s not really sweating the triple threat match at Survivor Series since he just beat Cena two weeks ago. Next week Raw will be in the UK, and the UK is where Shawn beat Cena. Bottom line is, they have all beat each other. They beat each other all the time! Well what do you know. The Bella Twins are standing right beside them, heard the whole thing, and decide to leave. Oh look, Cena is embarrassed. Shawn ~ “Way to go!” While Shawn is no genius, he knows that DX has the mathematical advantage to walk out of Survivor Series with the WWE championship. Whatever. THE CHAMP IS HERE!

• WWE Champion John Cena vs. Chris Jericho vs. Big Show – non-title match
  

DX joins us for commentary to make fun of Michael Cole by saying “vintage” and “oh my” a bunch of times. Hilarious. Triple H is more into that than Shawn seems to be. He’s more about putting Cena over for being a toughie. After a commercial break, the match is in progress. Cena shoves Big Show off into the ringpost and hits the release fisherman’s suplex on Jericho for two. With Big Show still on the floor, he pulls Cena out and throws him into the barricade a couple times. When he sends Cena back in, Jericho jumps on the cover for two. Big Show’s not cool with that. Nevertheless, they continue to double-team the champ. Meanwhile DX fails at math and Cole corrects them. HOW DARE HE? Back in the ring, Cena avoids an avalanche from Big Show and hits a face slam on Jericho, but stands up into a spear by the Big Show. Lionsault connects for 1-2-NO! Show pulls him off the cover! Now Jericho is PISSED. He slaps Big Show around and then takes a face palm that sends him all the way to the floor. Cena escapes the CHOKESLAM and goes for the ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT, but he collapses. Could it be pump splash time? No, Cena moves and shoulderblocks Show to the floor. That leaves more shoulderblocks and the Protobomb. Five Knuckle Shuffle sets up the ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT, but Show saves his championship partner with a BIG RIGHT HAND OF DEATH. Jericho gets the 1-2-3 after all. (7:14 shown) They were screwing with us all the whole time! Those two are still friends! Now that the handshakes are over and Cena is still down, they put him in a WALLS OF JERICHO/CAMEL CLUTCH submission. Since DX are such decent guys, they try to make the save. Shawn steps into a BIG RIGHT HAND OF DEATH while HHH takes a headbutt into a CODEBREAKER! Yes! Will this lead to DX taking the tag belts from these two and being the unified tag champs until kingdom come? Oh man I hope not. **

And with that, we are outta here.

It wasn’t personal.  Just business.

That was the reasoning behind Big Show’s betrayal of Team Raw at Bragging Rights.  Though still claiming to be a proud member of the Raw roster, Big Show revealed that he used his position as tag team champion to negotiate a deal with Smackdown GM Teddy Long in which he would be #1 contender for Undertaker’s World Heavyweight Championship in exchange for handing the 14-man tag match to Smackdown.  So nothing personal, guys.  Just had to be done.

But the Raw roster would not be so easily appeased.  As a punishment of sorts, Big Show was forced to square off against Triple H.  To make matters worse, the match became no-DQ with John Cena as the referee and members of the Raw roster serving as lumberjacks.  Though Big Show put up a valiant effort and even took out a couple Raw superstars, he ended up falling prey to numerous finishers from the various superstars before finally succumbing to Triple H’s Pedigree.  The Raw roster was vindicated from its loss at Bragging Rights, and Big Show was treated as a traitor who sold out his brand.

But as Cena celebrated with DX in the ring, the guest hosts Kyle Busch and Joey Lagano dropped a bombshell.  John Cena’s opponents for Survivor Series would be both Triple H and Shawn Michaels in a triple threat match.  Not so happy after that one.

As for the rest of the show…

• Chris Jericho, of course, took the opportunity to gloat over his Bragging Rights win, and had several funny moments when he kept interrupting the Big Show by praising himself.  Unfortunately, guest hosts Busch and Lagano were nowhere near as good at speaking, and seemed to stumble through their lines.  Lagano even referred to Kofi Kingston as ‘Kofi Johnson’.  Close, there.
• Speaking of Kingston, he had the night of his life.  Given an opportunity for revenge, he not only took on Chris Jericho, but pinned him clean.  Unfortunately, as he was celebrating, he was attacked from behind and tossed from the ramp by Randy Orton, who blamed his intereference for his loss to John Cena.
• To show their appreciation for Randy Orton (and likely to calm him down) Legacy bought Orton a racecar with his image painted on it.  I loved that DiBiase referred to his father as their means of paying for it.  As another surprise, Legacy tried to challenge Cena to get the WWE title back to Legacy, but Cena flat out refused their challenge and gave them MVP and Mark Henry as means of proving themselves worthy.  Such was not the case, as MVP and Henry took the win.
• Melina and Santino Marella defeated Chavo Guerrero and Jillian, but this was really only to bring in Hornswoggle who has been served cease and desist papers by DX so he’ll quit wearing their merchandise.  I have no idea where they’re going with this.
• After Legacy’s loss, Randy Orton came out and demanded a rematch against Cena despite the stipulations of the match.  He was interrupted by Kofi Kingston, who told him off, then proceeded to ruin his new car with the clever use of a key, crowbar and bucket of paint.  Kingston was fantastic in this segment.
• Both the Miz and Jack Swagger took time to hit on Eve backstage, and strangely enough, she just happened to be the guest ring announcer for the Miz’s match against Evan Bourne (and she was horrible at it).  Swagger came out to taunt Miz on the mic during his match, which allowed Bourne to get the win via countout.
• That’s right.  Evan Bourne won a match on Raw.
• Sheamus made the jump from ECW to Raw to squash Jamie Noble to absolutely no crowd reaction.  I had forgotten Jamie Noble was even still in the WWE.

Looking Back
This episode of Raw was definitely a turning of the page as far as storylines go.  John Cena gave a fantastic promo about how everyone has had enough of him vs. Orton, and that he now has the right to refuse to deal with both Orton and Legacy.  It will be a definite turn from their normal way to be out of the main event picture.  Kofi Kingston benefitted from this, though, as he got the best of Randy Orton and looked damn good doing so.  I hope Kofi keeps his momentum, though, and doesn’t simply get fed to Orton as a way to show that he’s still going after the title.

Jericho and Big Show also find themselves in an odd spot, after months of running wild on both shows, they are clearly no longer welcome on Raw, and in the event that they lose the belts, Show is going to find himself stranded on the brand he betrayed, without Jericho to back him up anymore.

I’m hoping that Evan Bourne’s win over the Miz puts him in the US title picture along with Jack Swagger.  Bourne has been largely wasted since coming to Raw, and he could use a story that doesn’t involve Hornswoggle.  As for the little guy himself, does anyone really care about the DX thing?  I know I don’t.  Nor do I particularly care about Sheamus.  I think it’s a huge mistake moving him from ECW at this point.  He will need to dominate to get the heat his character goes for, but Raw doesn’t have many low level faces he can dominate, and obviously the fans aren’t buying him right now.  A win over the likes of MVP or Mark Henry would do more to hurt their characters rather than help Sheamus.

DX versus Cena?  Perhaps this will be the means to split up DX and let them go their own ways.  I wouldn’t mind seeing a heel Triple H again, nor would I mind seeing a solo Shawn Michaels.

Monday Night Raw 10/26/09
HSBC Arena
Buffalo, NY

Announcers: Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler

We start this week’s show off with a recap of last night’s PPV. We then head inside the HSBC Arena where Michael Cole welcomes us to Raw. We are immediately joined by Big Show and Chris Jericho. Jericho has his Smackdown shirt on and is carrying the Bragging Rights trophy high above his head. Cole calls Show “Brutus” for stabbing Raw in the back and King asks if he is referencing Beefcake. Show has the mic and he wants us to know that he is still a proud member of the Raw roster despite what happened last night. Jericho tells him that he doesn’t need to explain himself to all the germ incubators out there. He says Show did what he did out of loyalty and honor for Jericho and their team. Show has something to say, but Jericho wants to thank him for ending the reign of DX. There will be no mirth or hawking of cheap merchandise out of embarrassment. Show stood up for what was right by punching Triple H in the face and helping Smackdown win. Show has something to say, but Jericho keeps cutting him off and putting over Smackdown and himself. Show cuts him off and says he did what he did for himself, not for his team or show loyalty. He spoke with Teddy Long and struck a deal. Because Smackdown won Bragging Rights, Teddy gave Show a shot at Undertaker’s World Championship. Jericho isn’t happy with that and makes a fat joke. As they argue, Kyle Busch and Joey Logano are tearing up the parking lot in their cars. They speed into the arena and pull right up to the ramp to a nice pop. They hop out of the cars and head to the ring, accompanied by the Bella Twins. They both grab mics and play to the crowd a bit. Busch speaks first and lets us know they are huge fans and are happy to be here to host. Busch says the fans aren’t impressed with what Show did to Raw last night. He is a man’s man and he is with Show. Busch shakes Show’s hand but Logano doesn’t like what Show did. He calls his actions weak. Show tells Busch to teach Joey about respect. Kyle apologizes and calls Joey young and dumb. Busch says they are here to win championships and make Raw happen. He says Buffalo hasn’t made it to the playoffs since Hulkamania and then rags on Terrell Owens. He says they will be singing “Oh, Canada” soon as well. Logano says Show will take on Triple H here tonight. Jericho mocks sympathy and then shows off his “grail of greatness” off to Busch and Logano. Jericho wants to go back to their office and he will tell them how he won the trophy last night. Busch isn’t impressed and puts Jericho in a match with Kofi Johnson…err, Kingston here tonight. And that is happening right now, as Kofi comes jogging out. Before that happens, though, we are taking a break.

1) Chris Jericho vs. Kofi Kingston

When we return, the bell sounds and we are under way. They lock up and get a clean break in the corner as Jericho bails to the floor. Jericho gets back and starts slugging away at Kofi. He shoots him into the corner but eats a Kofi boot on the charge. Kofi peppers him with rights and then plants him with a dropkick for two. Kofi hooks an armbar as Cole tells us that the Raw locker room is livid over Show’s actions. Jericho catches Kofi with a right hand and then slugs him down. He chokes him over the middle rope but Kofi sneaks a roll up in for two. Jericho comes back with some boots to the head before hooking a side headlock. He breaks the hold and puts Kofi down with a shoulderblock. Kofi is back up and nails Jericho with a back elbow but Chris bails to the floor. Kofi flies out with a plancha as the crowd is rocking a bit early here. Both men are back in and Kofi leaps up into the corner and hammers away but Jericho spikes him down to the mat with a powerbomb. Kofi slides out to the apron but Jericho meets him with a springboard dropkick. Kofi falls to the floor as we take a break. When we come back, Jericho sends Kofi neck first into the bottom rope with a slingshot. Jericho hooks a rear chinlock as we check out the action that happened during the break. Kofi fights free and gets a roll up for two. Jericho puts Kofi back down with a clothesline and gets two. Kofi tries to fight back with some right hands and is able to send Jericho flying into the corner as he attempted a bulldog. Kofi hits a pair of clotheslines and a dropkick and then puts Jericho down with a flying right hand. Kofi lands the Boomdrop but Jericho rolls through and goes for the Walls. Kofi flips free but Jericho meets him with an Enziguri for two. He stomps on Kofi and then smacks him around a bit. Kofi nails a kick as Jericho charges into the corner. He heads up top but Jericho meets him with a right hand. Jericho follows him up and tries for a superplex but Kofi blocks it and drops him to the mat with a gourdbuster. Kofi comes off with a high cross body but Jericho rolls through and gets two. Kofi is back up and takes Jericho down with a Russian legsweep. Kofi goes for the TIP but Jericho blocks it and goes for the Walls. Kofi blocks that and rolls Jericho up for a really close near fall. Both men are back up and Jericho nails him with the Codebreaker. He covers but Kofi just gets his foot on the bottom rope. Jericho jaws with Jack Doane and then turns around and walks right into TIP. Kofi covers and picks up the win to a big pop. That was a heck of a match and a big win for Kofi. Kingston d. Jericho with the Trouble in Paradise; Grade: 3

- Kofi is pumped up as he heads to the back, leaving Jericho to shake off the loss in the ring. As he is walking back, Randy Orton comes flying out and just chucks Kofi off the ramp and to the floor. Orton stalks around as we head to break.

- We are back and King is putting over the Halloween themed goodies on WWE.com this week. Backstage, Josh Matthews catches up with Randy Orton and asks why he assaulted Kofi. Orton says it was payback for Kofi interfering in his match last night. He has only just begun on Kofi. Rhodes and DiBiase come up to him and Orton wants to know what they want. They say he should be champion and that they agree and have a gift for him. They walk over and pull the tarp off a custom Randy Orton race car. Orton thinks it is incredible and can’t believe they bought it for him. Ted says it is a token of their appreciation. Cody says they have another surprise tonight involving John Cena and that it is only a matter of time before the title is back with Legacy. Orton stares at the car creepily as we cut over to the GMs chatting with Eve. They debate over who will win their upcoming race as Jack Swagger comes in for a chat. Swagger wants a title match with John Cena tonight. Busch says Cena wrestled for an hour last night so he won’t wrestle here but Logano says they will be choosing Cena’s next opponent tonight. Swagger likes that and then he introduces himself to Eve but Miz comes in to speak his piece as well. He says he is the only Raw member to win last night and that he should get the title shot at Survivor Series. Miz kisses Eve’s hand, grossing her out, before taking off. We cut elsewhere to see Santino Marella and Melina walking, surrounded by paparazzi. They are in action after this break.

- When we come back, Cole and King put over Sheamus, who has apparently been traded to Raw. We then head back to the ring for our next match.

2) Santino Marella & Melina vs. Chavo Guerrero & Jillian

Marella and Melina head down to the ring and they are followed by Chavo Guerrero and Jillian as we are in for some mixed tag action. Chavo and Santino start things off as Chavo shoves Santino. Santino comes back with a flurry and then drops Chavo with a back elbow. Chavo turns the tables and runs Santino into the corner. He chokes away with his boot and then lands an uppercut for two. Chavo hammers away in the corner and tries a hiptoss, but Santino cartwheels to his feet. Santino does a split to avoid a clothesline and then slugs Chavo down. Chavo tags in Jillian, who comes in and smacks Santino. He tags in Melina but Jillian drops her with a clothesline. Hornswoggle pops up from under the ring and distracts Chavo, allowing Melina to attempt her finisher. She botches it badly so Jillian hooks the ropes to break up the pin. Melina drops her with the Primal Scream for the win. Marella & Melina d. Guerrero & Jillian when Melina pins Jillian with the Primal Scream; Grade: .5

- Hornswoggle celebrates with Melina and Santino until a suit comes in the ring and gives Horny a green envelope. He opens it and then runs over to Lawler to have him read it. King says it is a cease and desist order from DX to make Horny stop wearing his DX garb. Horny walks off dejectedly, shaking his head. We see Cena walking backstage as we go to break.

- Back from break, we check out the Just for Men Slam of the Week, which brings us stills of the Iron Man match from last night. Back live, Justin Roberts is introducing John Cena, but before he can finish, Legacy interrupts. Rhodes and DiBiase head down to the ring and grab mics. Cody says this would be a good time for Cena to parade out here and talk about his “epic victory” last night. But, Cena will have to wait because the Legacy is here. Just because Randy can’t fight Cena for the title, doesn’t mean they can’t. At Survivor Series, they will bring the Championship back to Legacy. Ted says they didn’t ask the guest hosts for permission because they don’t have to. They are making a direct challenge to Cena here and they invite him out to accept it. Cena obliges and heads out to the ring. Cena says he doesn’t have to brag about last night because it was what it needed to be. It was the best of WWE competing in one final showdown. He can speak for Orton in saying that both of them were exhausted physically and mentally when the clock ran out. They did it for themselves, for the title, for the fans and because they both knew that the Cena/Orton rivalry needed to end. And it did. That brings us to Raw the next night as the WWE Universe is tuned in to see who the next challenger is. And that wouldn’t be Randy Orton’s Legacy. Cody says that they aren’t Randy and Cena agrees, telling them they have a lot to learn. Cena says the fans will think this is a rerun as they keep running in circles. Last night, he beat Randy Orton and earned the right to say no more. Legacy can come out and make empty challenges and say they are bringing the title back to Legacy, but if they want a shot at the title, they need to lace their boots up tight and fall in line with everyone else. They need to work for it because that is how it is done. He is looking at them and thinks they haven’t earned it. He asks the fans if the “Baby Oil Boys Club” has earned everything. Cena says he was talking to the guest hosts about a match for Legacy tonight and they agreed. That match is happening right now and their opponents are headed to the ring…MVP and Mark Henry. They head down to the ring as we go to break.

3) Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase vs. Mark Henry & MVP

When we return, Ted is picking up a near fall on MVP. He tags in Cody and they hit a double fist to the gut. Cody drops a knee and then hooks a rear chinlock. MVP fights out of the hold and hits a clothesline. He crawls over and tags in Henry. He nails Cody with a back elbow and a headbutt. He hoists Cody up in a choke but DiBiase come in and clips Henry’s knee. Cody gets a near fall before tagging in Ted. They quick tag and take turns working Henry over in the corner a bit. Cody hooks a front facelock but can’t get Henry to the mat. Henry tries to fight to his corner, but MVP ends up distracting the ref, allowing Ted to come in and kick the knee again. Cody gets two off a double dropkick. He goes back to the front facelock as the crowd starts to rally Henry. Henry finally tosses Cody off and both men make tags. MVP tosses DiBiase and then follows with some right hands and a facebreaker. MVP drops the Ballin elbow and gets two. MVP gets a sunset flip after a clothesline from Henry and ends up getting the win. MVP & Henry d. Rhodes & DiBiase when MVP pins DiBiase with a sunset flip; Grade: 1

- DiBiase and Rhodes yell at the ref but that ends when Randy Orton heads to the ring with an angry look on his face. Orton says the guest hosts are searching for Cena’s next opponent and it officially looks like the next opponent will not be him. He understands the terms of his match last night but he doesn’t care. He is a former champion and is entitled to his rematch. He will take his case to the Board of Directors to get back what is his. Kofi shows up on the Tron and mocks Orton for losing, saying nobody cares about what he has to say. Orton calls him out to the ring to say it to his face. Kofi says that is an interesting choice of words, because he is already doing that right now. The camera pans down to see Kofi standing on Orton’s race car. Orton warns him not to hurt the car but Kofi keeps walking around on the hood. Kofi likes stock cars because they are so durable. He walks over and grabs a rolling trunk and pushes it into the door. Kofi says smaller things do more damage and he pulls out a key. He scratches up Orton’s car with it and then pulls out a crowbar and smashes the hood and windshield with it. Kofi wants to make things right after messing up the car, so he grabs a bucket and dumps red paint all over it. Orton is not happy as we go to break. That was some great work by Kofi and it looks like he is being elevated.

- We are back and checking out some Buffalo Bills players at ringside. Cole then sends us to a replay of the last segment. Justin Roberts then brings out Eve to announce our next bout.

4) Evan Bourne vs. Miz in a non title match

Bourne charges to the ring and he is followed by Miz, who picked up a big win last night. Miz mugs for Eve a bit and makes Roberts open the ropes for her to exit the ring. Miz lands a kneelift off the bell and picks up a one count off a leg sweep. Bourne comes back with some kicks but Miz regains control and chokes him out on the ropes. Miz drops Bourne with a back suplex and gets two. Miz rubs Bourne’s face into the mat and then hooks an armbar. He turns it into a double underhook surfboard style move. Bourne fights free and back drops Miz. Miz goes for a sunset flip but Bourne flips free and knees Miz in the face. Bourne kicks away some more and then hits a nice flying headscissors for two. The crowd has totally died off here. Miz hammers away in the corner as Jack Swagger makes his way out to the ring. Swagger grabs a mic and tells him that nobody is watching him or his match. They are really watching Eve. And Eve is watching Swagger. Miz swats at Swagger and then rolls to the floor to confront him. They jaw with each other until Bourne flies out on to both of them. Bourne slides back in the ring and he beats the count as Miz is counted out. I was hoping for much more from those two. Bourne d. Miz by count out; Grade: 1

- Bourne takes off as Swagger and Miz stare each other down and we head to break.

- We are back and Cole tells us that Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne will be hosting Raw next week. Back in the arena, Jamie Noble is in the ring. Busch and Logano show up on the Tron and wish Noble luck against Raw’s newest star: Sheamus.

5) Jamie Noble vs. Sheamus

Sheamus heads out as Cole and King put him over for his destruction of ECW. Sheamus introduces himself and tells us that he is here to make an impression. Sheamus sends Noble to the floor with a shoulderblock. He follows him out and whips Noble into the steps. He tosses Chavo back in and drops a pair of stiff elbows onto him for two. He hoists Noble up into a hanging backbreaker but Noble goes to the eyes to break the hold. Sheamus tosses Noble into the corner but misses a charge. Noble goes for a roll up but Sheamus blocks it and pulls Noble up by his throat. Sheamus works Noble over as the crowd has gone flat again. Sheamus sticks him with a stiff backbreaker and then buries him with a big boot for the win. Despite the crowd apathy, Sheamus looked really good. I hope he doesn’t get lost in the shuffle with Raw’s cluttered mid card. Sheamus d. Noble with a boot to the face; Grade: 1

- DX is walking backstage as we head off to commercial.

- We are back from break and the Quiznos Rewind brings us still from last night’s Bragging Rights fourteen man war, which was won by Smackdown, thanks to Big Show turning his back on Raw. Cole then talks about Batista turning on Rey Mysterio last night, King talks about the Iron Man bout and Cole talks about the bragging rights tag bout. We then head up to the ring, where Big Show and Chris Jericho are chilling.

6) Triple H vs. Big Show in a no disqualification lumberjack match

Show is all business as Jericho prances around with his trophy. I hope he carries it around for the whole year because it has been awesome so far. Theme from DX fires up as Michaels and Triple H crotch chop and glow stick their way to the ring. As the bell sounds, Hunter grabs a mic and says he just met with Busch and Logano. They forgot to tell Show that this is a lumberjack match. And unfortunately for Show, the lumberjacks are all the guys Show screwed over last night. And on cue, the Raw locker room empties and they all head to ringside. Jericho quickly walks off through the crowd, trophy in hand, leaving Show to fend for himself against the Raw roster. Michaels now has the mic and lets us know this is also no disqualification. Michaels tells Charles Robinson that he can take off, because they have a special guest referee for the night: John Cena. Cena marches to the ring as Triple H knocks Show to the floor and we head to our final break. When we return, Hunter is hammering on Show in the ring. Hunter hops on Show’s back and hooks a sleeper as Show slowly starts to fade a bit. Show wakes up and mares Hunter down to the mat. Show misses a charge in the corner but he collapse on Hunter during a slam attempt. Hunter charges but Show meets him with a big spear. Show steps on Hunter’s chest as he jaws with Michaels. He chops Hunter and then steps on his back. Hunter tries to fight back but Show drops him with a sidewalk slam. Show covers and gets two and then goes to a nervehold. Hunter gets to his feet but Show puts him down with a headbutt. Hunter staggers around and gives Show a crotch chop but Show clubs him and slams him down. Chris Masters takes a swipe at Show, so Show yanks him into the ring and cracks him with a right hand to knock him out. Hunter comes back with a facebreaker and then slugs away, but Show catches him by the throat. Hunter slips out of a chokeslam attempt and drops Show with a DDT for two. Hunter goes for the Pedigree but Show back drops Hunter over to block it. Show heads to the middle rope and lands the Vader Bomb. He covers but Cena only gives him a two count before faking a shoulder injury. Show gets in Cena’s face and that allows Primo and Chavo to come in and land a double dropkick. Swagger, Miz and Henry hits splashes in the corner. MVP comes in and slugs Show down, allowing Bourne to drop the SSP to a huge pop. Santino sneaks in and goes for his cobra chop, but Show drops him with a chokeslam. Kofi comes in and nails Show with the TIP. Cena drops Show with the AA. Hunter puts a Smackdown shirt on Show’s neck as he struggles to his feet. Michaels nails Show with SCM and Hunter drops him with the Pedigree for the win. That was a hot ending to an OK match. Triple H d. Show with the Pedigree; Grade: 2

- As Cena and DX celebrate, Logano and Busch come back out. The crowd isn’t happy to see them, but they are ready to announce the top contender for Survivor Series. They couldn’t agree on a choice until Hornswoggle for them on the same page. Horny comes out, still wearing his DX gear. Busch says Cena will take on both Triple H and Shawn Michaels at Survivor Series. All three stare each other down as we fade out.

- No great shakes here tonight coming off a solid PPV. The Jericho/Kofi match was really good and it looks like Kofi is set for a good push here. The crowd was pretty good for most of the night, but the rest of the show was just sort of there. Busch and Logano tried but just didn’t have the charisma to pull anything special off and none of the other matches were that good outside of the decent main event. Well, hopefully things pick up by the time we get to Survivor Series. See you next week as we all hop on the crazy train!

Final Grade: C-