Laura just called to tell me all about Oprah’s holiday extravaganza (pronounced, according to Oprah, ex-tra-va-GON-za), airing right now. And you know what? I’m not sad to be missing out. Because the other week when Oprah announced her retirement, I set the DVR to grab a whole year’s worth of her shows. Genius!

And now M will do his happy dance. Or barf. It’s a toss-up.

Just messing around with some new acquisitions… Takara’s 1/72 dual-model Dougram figures.  Die-cast skeletons with plastic armor parts and fantastic articulation and detail make for a win in my book.

it’s been one of those days (the kind that people say “thoooose” days and mean the worst, most horrible, overwhelming, neverending kind), and in my search for things-to-not-be-stressed-about i found this meme on hannah’s blog, and decided to unwind by filling it out (I think you’re only supposed to use one word for each answer, but sometimes I didn’t).

1. Where is your cell phone? Lap.

2. Your hair? Unruly

3. Your mother? Put-together

4. Your father? Brilliant

5. Your favorite food? Pre-cooked

6. Your dream last night? Sweet

7. Your favorite drink? Water

8. Your dream/goal? Out to bid.

9. What room are you in? Hallway

10. Your hobby? Writing

11. Your fear? Disappointing

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Published

13. Where were you last night? Coast

14. Something that you aren’t? Tough

15. Muffins? Blueberry

16. Wish list item? Private jet

17. Where did you grow up? Texas

18. Last thing you did? Email

19. What are you wearing? Dress

20. Your TV? Dependable

21. Your pets? Imaginary

22. Friends? Loyal

23. Your life? Motion

24. Your mood? Tired

25. Missing someone? Yes

26. Vehicle? Feet

27. Something you’re not wearing? Pants

28. Your favorite store? Target

29. Your favorite color? Pink

30. When was the last time you laughed? Yesterday

31. Last time you cried? Saturday

32. Your best friend? Several

33. One place that I go to over and over? Work

34. One person who emails me regularly? Anna

35. Favorite place to eat? Living room

Infertility.  Wow, what a topic.  This is a post that I’ve sat down to write many times but couldn’t.  Somehow my words didn’t seem good enough.  This is such an emotional topic for so many women, I didn’t think I could do it justice.  I know infertility is a very personal journey, experienced differently by each woman.  I wanted to share with you my story, and the decisions that I’ve recently made.  By no means am I saying that everyone has felt what I’ve felt, or should do what I’m doing.  This is just how I’m being led.  And I realize that I’m just at the beginning of this journey.  Many women have struggled much longer and gone through much darker times.  I know even with  my own experience, I can only begin to imagine what some have felt. 

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with Thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”  Philippians 4:6-7

The newspapers tell me that fertility is now an epidemic in this country.  I don’t see that.  Since finding out that my husband and I can’t get pregnant, it seems like everyone I know, work with, or see in the grocery store is pregnant.  Every commercial and Hallmark movie is about babies.  Beautiful, glowing pregnant women are coming out of the woodwork.  No, I don’t see an epidemic.  I see me as being the only girl in the world that can’t have a beautiful, bouncing baby of my own.  But let me back up a little…

“Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my sighing.  Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray.  In the morning, O Lord, you heard my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.”  Psalm 5:1-3

My husband and I have been talking about having kids since we got married: when we wanted to have them, how many we wanted, and all our hopes and dreams for our future family.  We decided that 2009 was the time.  We were so excited.  I had been on birth control for most of 10+ years, but of course everyone has a story of how ’so and so’ got pregnant just 2 weeks after going off the pill.  The doctor said it didn’t matter.  Fast forward a few months and nothing has happened.  A friend gives me a book to read about fertility, and suggests I go talk to my doctor, so I do.  Doc tells me that I’m just getting myself worked up and that’s nothing wrong, but says she’ll run some labs ‘just in case’.  I get a call a week later telling me I have polycystic ovarian syndrome and that I won’t be able to get pregnant without fertility drugs. 

It took a while for that news to sink in.  I would have to take fertility drugs.  Wow, that’s not at all how I saw this going.  Fertility drugs meant all sorts of scary things to me.  But more than that, I mourned not being able to have kids on my own.  I mean, I’m a woman, that’s what women are supposed to do.  We grow up and have babies.  Why can’t I do that?  I had severe guilt.  I wondered, and sometimes still do, what God is punishing me for.  I know I’ve screwed up a lot in my life, and made a lot of bad decisions.  I wondered which one brought this consequence.  I wondered if I somehow did this to myself at work.  That time I spilled chemo on my hands…that time I should have worn gloves and didn’t, did I do this?  And my goodness, the overwhelming guilt towards my husband.  My sweet, beloved husband who wants kids even more than I do.  Why can’t I do this for him?  I cried myself to sleep so many nights those first couple of weeks.  I begged my husband to please forgive me, and that I was so sorry I couldn’t do this for him.  Wondering if he looked at me any differently.  Guilt that I couldn’t give our parents the grandchildren they wanted so much.   Wondering if it was because God didn’t think I’d be a good parent, or that I didn’t deserve kids.  And there was the anger.  The, “It’s not fair”.  Look at all the women that have babies that don’t even want them, why can’t a couple who wants one so badly not have one?  And I felt ashamed.  I didn’t want anyone to know, especially my family.  I didn’t want anyone to know there was something wrong with me.  And I prayed.  I begged God to allow me to get pregnant.  And I googled.  I googled PCOS and learned everything I could about it…how common and overdiagnosed it is.  I read all about how if I was able to get pregnant, how much higher a chance I had for miscarriage, complications, and stillbirths.  Those first few weeks were such a roller coaster of emotion.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”  Romans 8:28

Before I started taking the drugs, the doctors wanted to do blood work for a month and see where I stood.  I prayed harder in that month then I’ve ever prayed before.  I was terrified to take fertility drugs.  It seemed like a point of no return.  I was terrified of having multiples.  I was terrified of awful side effects.  And I was terrified of them not working.  So I prayed that God would allow me to get pregnant without them.  That I could conceive all on my own.  And nothing happened.  So the doctors decided to put me on Clomid, a very run-of-the-mill, common ovulation drug.  The one that works for everyone.

“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him…”  Psalm 37:7a

As a Christian, I had trouble starting to take the Clomid.  I had been praying so hard that God would allow me to be pregnant without fertility aids or procedures.  But I felt that at the core of it, I was really telling God that I wanted Him to allow me to be pregnant now, and that if He didn’t come through this month, I was going to go ahead and take the drugs anyway.  Like I was telling Him I would give Him these 4 weeks, and then I was going above His head.  Like going above His head is even possible.  But it just felt wrong.  I knew that deep down my motivations were wrong.

As a nurse, I had trouble not taking the Clomid.  I mean, why would you not explore every medical avenue you can?  That’s what I do for a living, afterall.  If there’s a drug for it, why would you not take it?  And I was impatient.  I didn’t want to just sit around and do nothing month after month.  I thought the drugs would speed things up. 

As a woman desperate to have a baby, I would explore every possible outlet to make this happen, whatever the cost.

One of the hardest things about this whole process is the build-up and disappointment.  You start the beginning of your cycle so optimistic.  It’s going to work this time.  There’s a plan.  You take these drugs these days, and then you get lab work on these days.  And you wait.  You wait and wait.  You pay attention to every tiny detail and change that your body makes.  Looking for signs.   Then you get to the magic Day 21 and go get blood drawn.  And then you wait for results.  Sure it worked this time.  And then you get the call.  Nothing.  Nothing happened.  You didn’t respond.  And the disappointment is overwhelming.  It’s like you’re starting all over.   

So many months and 2 doctors later, nothing has happened.  Not only have I not gotten pregnant, but my body has had absolutely no response whatsoever to the drugs.   I’m pretty much maxed out on the dose, but my new doctor wants to keep trying.  And, she says I don’t have PCOS, but that I have ‘Non-specific ovarian failure’.

Failure.  That’s not a word I have a lot of experience with.  I’ve really led a pretty charmed life, all things considering, and I haven’t dealt with a lot of failure.  I consider myself a pretty stubborn and driven person.  Anything I’ve really wanted, I just made it happen.  It hasn’t always been easy, but if I wanted something bad enough, I just kept fighting until it happened.  But I can’t fight this.  It’s like an enemy without a face.  It’s something I don’t have control over, and I don’t know what to fight to get where I want.  I have to keep reminding myself that the face doesn’t really matter.  The doctors can call it by whatever name they want, but it still equals the same thing. 

And so I made a decision.  A drastic decision by most people’s standards, including my own.  I’ve decided I’m not going to take any more drugs.  No more fertility aids.  I’m just going to pray, and trust that God will heal my body, whatever the problems are, allow me to get pregnant and deliver a healthy baby.  That’s it. 

“Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.”  Jeremiah 29:12

This is one of the hardest things I’ve done before.  Definitely the biggest leap of faith.  It goes against everything I know to just sit and do nothing about a problem.  Do nothing but pray.  My faith hasn’t been tested a lot, and this doesn’t come easy for me.  At all.  I’m not a prayer warrior.  I like to think that I have faith, and believe that God is going to answer all His promises, but I’ve never given the reigns completely over to Him. 

Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, “Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done.  If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”  Matthew 21:21

There are some people close to me that know about this situation.  But this is going to be news to most people I know.  And even those that knew the big picture didn’t know the conflict I’ve had about this whole thing, and this decision that I’ve made.  There are a lot of family members that will be finding out all of this for the first time, especially my in-laws.  I’ve been so afraid for them to find out.  Afraid of what they’d think about me not being able to give their son/brother the baby he so desperately wants.  Afraid of being a failure daughter in law.

So why share all of this with all of you?  Because I want God to get 100% of the glory when I deliver the healthy baby that I am believing He’s going to give me.  I don’t want anyone to be able to say it was the drugs or the doctors.  I’ve put this all out there so that He can get all the credit.  This is the hard choice, and I still feel torn in every direction.  Part of me feels like I’m giving up on having a baby.  Another part of me feels like this must be the right thing to do since it is so hard.  And still another, very small part, is relieved.  It’s exhausting keeping this all in.  This whole journey has been so draining.  A small part of me is relieved to have it all on God’s shoulders now.  The ball is in His court.  But I fight with discouragement and doubt on a daily basis.  Hourly, really.   

Did you know that there are 7 women in the Bible who are specifically listed as being barren?  Sarah, Rebekah, Hannah, Michal, Elizabeth, Samson’s mom, and Rachel.  God gave children to 6 of these 7 women.

“Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah as he had said, and the Lord did for Sarah what he had promised.  Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the very time God had promised him.”  Genesis 21:1-2

“Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was barren.  The Lord answered his prayer, and his wife Rebekah became pregnant.”  Genesis 25:21 

“So in the course of time Hannah conceived and gave birth to a son.  She named him Samuel, saying, “Because I asked the Lord for him.”  1 Samuel 1:20

“Then God remembered Rachel; he listened to her and opened her womb.  She became pregnant and gave birth to a son and said, “God has taken away my disgrace.”  Genesis 30:22-23

I know there’s a powerful lesson to be learned by the one woman, Michal, who never had any children.  And I know I have to accept that that may be God’s plan for me.  But I truly feel in my heart of hearts, that my lesson is to be found in the 6.  That I need to cry out to the Lord, trust, and He will hear me, and give me children.  It’s the trust part that’s going to be the hardest.  And it’s going to get increasingly hard the longer it takes.  I just pray that I’m strong enough, that God picked the right person for this.  This is the scariest post I’ve ever written.  It’s definitely all out there now.  I’m scared I’m too weak, and I won’t be able to live up to it.  I’m afraid I’m not strong enough to keep trusting.  I’m afraid people will think I’m crazy.  I’m afraid it’s never going to happen.  But if I’m going to gain this great trust, this is my first step.  My first act of obedience.  I feel led to write this post for a reason that I do not know.  That there’s someone, somewhere out there that needed to read this today.  This is for her.

Oh-oh I am feeling shit

and I’m fed up of swallowing phlegm

Disconsolate, here I sit

I do nothing but haw and hem

Let me out of this vice

Coz my chest is starting to whine

It’d really be very nice

my interior sunshine would shine

So bugger off, ye viral hordes

I’ve had enough of you

Mark my words (as if ye cared)

You’re making me feel like poo.

Well, I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving. Now we all got 2 weeks of hell before we’re in the clear for xmas break. I wish everyone the best of luck on their finals, term papers, and projects. Don’t forget, you can get help on PayfortheA whenever you need it. Godspeed.

This is how urban myth is often created. When a tourist walking past a toilet sign like this, it can lead to thinking that the French femmes do “it” both standing up and sitting down!

Namaste freakers,

I am back at the blog with a brand new layout after some time off in mesmerizing India and a couple of hectic weeks at work after my return. It honestly feels like I was in India like a year ago already, the holiday chill effect having been completely rubbed off by all the duties back here. The coming week promises to be a good one, though: after a short but intensive search I will move into my new appartment in central Benztown. Who ever said it was hard to find an appartment in Stuttgart? Just kidding, some serious luck or probably a karma bonus from India was on my side on this one…

Right now I am watching a toothless Arsenal side getting absolutely outplayed by the men from Stamford Bridge. This definitely seems like Chelsea’s year, they have been playing together for quite some time, most of their key players are in their prime right now and they possess supreme confidence in their abilities. Contrarily, the young Arsenal squad look like a boys team out of place on the pitch with grown men. I am still convinced Arsenal plays the most attractive football out of all clubs when their passing game is on, aside from maybe Barca. However, against top tier competition they have been getting outplayed thouroughly once again this season. Injuries do play a role with several key players out of the squad for this crucial matchup. However, I am not confident the result would be any different with all players on board. This squad has about gone as far, namely remain in the top 4, as it will in its current make up. I am not at all worried about titles and am perfectly content watching the youngsters outpace most Premier League and European competition. However, if the aim is to win anything, it should be perfectly clear to anyone that the filled coffers need to be opened and new players need to be brought in. I love the way Le Boss is handling the clubs business – both on and off the pitch – but he is fooling himself with his statement that the team has turned the corner this year and is a serious challenger for the Premier League. Arsenal, it is time to put up or shut up!

The second half just got under way…check back in the next few days for new styles and music right here once I am set up in my new pad! Cheerio all around!

We are no longer a milblog.

If we ever were a milblog, except accidentally, which I doubt.

Anyways kids, I’m back stateside, back home, back to being a civilian 27 days every month. Also back to the blog, after a partial internet sabbatical, which was nice, you should try it. I will now return to posting infrequently, instead of never.

It’s good to be away from the guys, and good to see my family again. In a few days I’ll head back to the other city and my room, and will finally get back to work. Not job work, but work on The Plan, doncha know. I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to that.

In the meantime it was a very pleasant Thanksgiving and has been a good time with the family. I’ve also been meeting up with some old friends, including an old buddy from a soccer team like 15 years ago.. Crazy. New blog link coming soon..

So if this bit of post is even more convoluted than usual, it’s because I am Getting It Done, and will then post it (dammit). And the motivation is.. I finally got a copy of Pressfield’s The War of Art, which is about combating Resistance, the malevolent power that (among other things) stops us from writing when we know we should. I was only about ten pages in, and thought of this poor blog.. Far be it from me to use a book about fighting procrastination as an excuse to continue doing it.

So. Yeah.

One of the great things about an internet sabbatical is that there is a whole smack of Stoaty Weasel to read all at once.

Time to eat pumpkin pie.

As you may have previously read, I’m not much of a baker. When I was married I did a fair job of cooking, cleaning and all that stuff. Since I’ve been on my own, I’ve regressed into something of a teenager, with cereal for dinner and “whatever is easiest” eating habits (sorry Mom, it’s true). The subject of Christmas cookies came up recently. Everyone’s trading recipes and reminiscing about their favorites. I pretty much love all cookies, and cake, and…well, let’s just say I’m not a picky eater! As a non-baker, the notion of No-Bake cookies interests me, and I remember one favorite that my Mom would make, Holly Wreaths. I asked my Mom to send me the recipe (and she did, cuz she rocks like that!). I also visited christmas-cookies.com to see what other no-bake goodness there was out there and there’s so much, you have to check it out. What are your some of your favorites? I’d love to hear about them.

Holly Wreath No-Bake Cookies

1/2 cup butter or margarine
30 large marshmallows
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/2 tsp green food coloring
3 1/2 cups corn flakes
red cinnamon candies (1-2 tablespoons)
optional: silver dragées

In a heavy 2 quart saucepan melt butter or margarine and marshmallows over low heat. Add vanilla and food coloring and stir until well blended. Fold in corn flakes (being careful not to crush them too much!). Drop by rounded greased tablespoons onto waxed paper-lined cookie sheets and shape into 2 inch wreaths. Decorate each with candies. Let cool. Do not freeze.  Makes about 25  (about 80 calories per cookie).

This post has gotten me excited about the live wreath I ordered through a school fundraiser (it is due to arrive sometime this week). I can’t wait to decorate it and show you all how I make the big fluffy no-brainer bow!

Special thanks to my Mom for helping me out on this post.

[Image via valleyviolet on flickr]

It’s another double points weekend in Uncharted 2: Among Thieves. You receive twice as many XP points in co-op and deathmatch game types in online multiplayer. You also get to use the Doughnut Drake and Doughnut Lazaravich skins in deathmatch.

This lasts until Monday, November 30th at 10am PST. Go get that money!

We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

For me this brings to mind that bible verses I quoted before:

Therefore, whoever thinks he is standing secure should take care not to fall.

13

No trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it.

When I try to think about “why me?” Why have I gotten it when others haven’t? I tend to think that at some point I became willing to ask for help and accept help and suggestions. This is not just in AA but in much of life. I see God working through people, and trying to improve is, to me, being open to the help of other people. There is improvement possible in all areas of my life, and there are resources to help me get there.

Drinking I was so incapable of doing anything for myself that I was about to stop even living, I’m sure of it. All the rest of what I’ve done has not been me doing it, but me with the help of God and the program.

i had to interrupt my story to wish everyone a belated happy Thanksgiving.  i hope your holiday was  filled with family, friends and laughter. 

Unlike most people i usually dread Thanksgiving.  i dread all holidays actually.  Being a teacher provides me with lots of extra time off work which means out of town trips to visit family.  Don’t get me wrong, i love my family and i adore spending time with them.  It’s the unstructured time and limited access to my Owner that i’ve always hated.  And i absolutely abhor being out of my routine.  i need tight control and i need to feel owned. 

Being on my own for a few days or a few weeks shouldn’t affect me because a slave is owned no matter where they are, but for some reason it does bother me.  i end up feeling all restless and a little panicked.  i check my blackberry constantly for emails or text messages just hoping my Owner had a chance to write and check in.  i even set it on vibrate and sleep with it beside me, waking up to look for a message over and over during the night.  Days would pass without any word and by the end of the ‘break’ i usually felt abandoned and pouty.  

Unreasonable?  Yes, it was.  He was busy with his own family and friends.  i had no reason to feel abandoned and no right to feel pouty.  i know it makes no sense that i felt that way, but no matter how i’ve tried in the past to stop myself from these feelings, they have never gone away. 

So true to form this year i was as fretful about the separation.  It didn’t matter that i had a new Master in my life.  i fully expected things to be exactly as they had in the past.  i had no reason to ask for anything different.  He had his own responsibilities and i would be out of town and hard to reach.  

The day i had to leave town arrived and i was sad and dreading being away.  Then i logged on to my private journal that i share with my Master and found this…

slave,

Inevitably We come to Our first Holiday and Our first “separation”. Your Master will miss His slave very very much and hope We are able to be creative and find time to talk. If you find yourself able to talk with your Master you will text Me and let Me know. If alone I will call My slave as I am sure hearing her voice will bring your Master happiness.  In the interim I have decided on a series of activities so that My slave feels the “touch” of her Master throughout her Holiday break and I will know where she is and what she is doing at certain times also.

Wednesday

My slave is to pack Tink, her dildo, her clamps, and dice.

After school you will roll a die to determine if you get to wear panties for the rest of the day ( odd – My slave may wear panties , even – no panties )

Once you arrive you will be having more dice fun. I want My pussy wet on every odd hour until bedtime. you will roll the two dice  to determine how many minutes My pussy gets of fun.

If clothing permits you will wear Tink.

Thursday

It is a skirt day. you do have to request permission to change from Our establish rules on dress. If Our necklace works you will wear it, if not you will put it on when you leave the house.

your Master wishes He could be eating Thanksgiving meal with His slave. Since I can not you will wear Tink during the meal. If possible I want to know what time you are eating so I can think of My slave sitting at the table, Tink deep in the bottom I own, knowing she is having thoughts of her Owner.

I will assume everyone will watch the football game. At half time you will check the score. For every point the local team is behind at half you will spend a minute in the corner. If they are ahead you earn free Hitachi time ( 1 pt = 1 minute ). you will serve corner time before the half is over so I will know where you are while I am busy prepping My Thanksgiving meal.

I want to know when you leave and when you arrive safely at your mother’s house . Text is acceptable.

you may request to sleep with Tink  in. you may even get permission to cum.

Friday

First, enjoy shopping with your father.

Since a non-skirt day you will roll a die to determine if you get to wear panties today (odd – My slave may wear panties , even – no panties ). You are to wear Our necklace

If alone you are to find your Master as I will be alone most of day and will be missing My slave very much.

If you leave for your evening plans will text and let Me know when you leave and when you arrive. If you stay you may request to sleep with Tink in again.

Saturday

As you haven’t made final plans yet I will refrain from any tasks now, but I will be thinking slave …

I hope you enjoy your holiday with your family, and especially the time with your father. Know every time you smile that your Master is thinking of His slave and wishing her to be well, safe, happy, and a little horny missing her Master …

I do Own you slave, and I will own you forever …

MW

Wow.  i was NOT used to someone taking the time to look after me this way.  It made me feel better, but i was still anxious about the days ahead.  i shouldn’t have been.  He was there for me nonstop and never left me feeling alone.  He sent orders via text messages.  He called when i was free to talk.  He made sure His pussy was purring and wet for Him no matter where i was or what i was doing.  It was a very achy, needy, dripping wet Thanksgiving and i loved it.  i am so lucky that i have Him in my life. He is amazing.

Thank You Master.

As many of you know, my daughter is collecting donations to help those in need in the Morgan Mill community.  To help with that effort, I am raffling off – 4 D. Morgan Signed Artist Proofs – valued at over $200.  Tickets are $5 each or 6 for $20.  Tickets will be sold until Friday December 11, 2009.  The winner will be posted and emailed on Saturday, December 12th.

The following are included in the raffle:

• After the Roundup
• Thistle
• Adobe
• Ole’  San Antone

Click here for more information on D. Morgan!

See pictures at:  http://s619.photobucket.com/albums/tt274/kimmie76465/For%20Sale/

I loved this song then.  I still love it.

Wow, I am really old.

Happy Christmas

God, I wish the snot-fairies would bugger off and leave me alone. Been wheezing like Steptoe’s horse for the last three days, two of which I’ve been off, one of which I’ve been supervising the moving of all the furniture across to Three Chimneys. We now have a totally crammed house, which led the BB to announce in harried tones last evening that he was going to order a skip and throw away all the furniture. Well, at least, all the furniture he bought with restoration in mind, but which he’s never got around to. In turn, I will skip as many extraneous pieces of furniture as I can, until we get to a workable arrangement. Thank god we’ve got similar tastes!

If only I could stop coughing. I’ts a really deep, wracking, consumptive hack / choke which I rarely get. No runny nose, no sneezing. Just chest bound tightly like a biological corset, but without any of the contour-smoothing properties, worst luck. My Fat Club consultant sent me a ‘Get Well’ card depicting a woman standing next to a telephone-kiosk sized bar of chocolate, which wasn’t entirely successful as a motivational aid, as all I want to do in this condition is eat thickly buttered toast with Dairy Milk chasers.

Still, the furniture is over at Three Chimneys, and I do find it consistently amazing that a tiny two-bedroomed house can generate so much stuff. Three Chimneys is not a small house, and still it looks like it’s been taken over by the attics at Buckingham Palace. The skip and some ruthless culling of rubbish and / or extraneous items will solve that, in no small part. I love throwing things away (except books) so this won’t be a trial for me.

So today we face the double trial of management review meetings, in which I will endeavour not to fall asleep, and then I must take a load of washing to the laundrette, as our washing machine defenestrated itself yesterday with a bang. Ho hm. It never rains but it pours! And on that note, it’s been raining nonno-stoppo at home for a full month, and I’d like to see the sun again before I forget what it looks like, and it appears from behind the overcast and frightens me half to death. I think I’m raving. But at least I’m more interesting this way. Someone pass me the thing so I can you know.