As I always say, Bruce Campbell is a god.

So who could be better than Bruce Campbell? Only Bruce Campbell himself.

The question is: do we (but we, I ostensibly mean “the masses,” but probably am actually just using the royal “we”) prefer Evil Dead flavor Bruce Campbell or Burn Notice flavor Bruce Campbell?

Mmmm, tastes like chicken!

Insert another "tastes like chicken" joke here!

Let’s find out!

(Yes, it’s so exciting as to deserve an exclamation point!)

Physicality. Bruce Campbell makes a lot of jokes about the size of his chin, but he’s no Jay Leno, and we couldn’t be more grateful for that! It’s kind of hard to have Bruce Campbell go up against himself, because he’s aged pretty damn gracefully, but you know what? He was a pretty cute young man! The ripped shirt, the chainsaw hand … rowr! Winner? Ash.

He's even kind of hot covered in Candarian demon blood.

Bigger badass? Now, I know most of you haven’t seen the first Evil Dead. Or the second Evil Dead. Only Army of Darkness. I highly recommend Evil Dead 2, but you needn’t bother with the original. However, the lesson we have taken from Evil Dead: the First One is that Ash is a bit of a wuss. His friend Scotty was the more heroic/stupid of the two: beating off the baddies, trying to convince everyone to make a break for it. Ash really only survived the first Evil Dead through a stroke of luck/being bff with the director. By Evil Dead 2, he’d gotten a bit more badass, but he still did quite a bit of whining. By Army of Darkness, he was the badass we know and love, spouting one-liners as he killed demons. However, he still had that wussy Ash in his past, so I can’t do anything but vote for Sam Axe, who stood up to all kind of torture and puts up with Fiona. Winner? Sam Axe.

Although they're both good with guns.

Better name? Ash is a cool name. It’s a kind of tree that’s perfect for staking vampires! It’s what’s left of vampires when they are hit by the bright light of day! It’s a nickname for Ashley! … Really? Yeah, that’s right, people. That’s what happens when you don’t watch the first Evil Dead. You don’t know Ash’s name is really “Ashley.” Sam Axe, on the other hand, could even be short for “Samantha,” and it wouldn’t matter, because his last name is Axe. Winner? Sam Axe.

Blows shit up? Ash may have caused a few demons to explode in Army of Darkness, in the past, where physics was waaaay more awesome than it is now. Sam Axe, on the other hand, is pretty content to sit back and let Fiona handle the fireworks in Burn Notice. Man, do a lot of things explode on that show. I love that show. Winner? Ash.

Helps the helpless? Sam Axe works with his good buddy, Mr. Super Smokin’ Hot Spy Guy aka Michael Westen, to help those that can’t help themselves, usually through some hourlong con/the power of explosions. It’s his thing. Ash really had to be coerced into helping the unbathed masses in Army of Darkness, and prior to that, he was pretty much in it to win it. Wait, I just said that for the stupid rhyme. I meant, he was very Darwinistic about the whole affair. Winner? Still, they do both help others. It’s a tie.

Has a chainsaw hand? Groovy. Winner? Ash.

When I grow up, I want to have a chainsaw hand.

Defeats evil? Bruce Campbell defeats evil all over the place, baby. Also Ash and Sam Axe do too. Winner? Another tie!

Master of snappy one-liners? You don’t put Bruce Campbell into anything and not give him some snappy one-liners. Both Ash and Sam Axe are masters of snark. A tie again.

Better job? If you count Ash’s job as being slayer of Candarian demons and not S-Mart clerk, then he’s got a better job, because who doesn’t want a job slaying demons, you know? However, his job is officially S-Mart clerk, so Sam Axe’s “mercenary” wins the day. Winner? Sam Axe.

Great, now you’ve officially tied it. I know. It’s so hard to choose.

Overall winner? The real winner in a battle of Bruce Campbells is us, the people who live in a world with Bruce Campbell. (Because he’s a god.)

All hail Bruce Campbell!

I want one, but you’ve got to be quick. Hail to the King!

Ladies of the Evil Dead: Extreme Edition T-shirt. Designed by the Jeff Zornow, this design features all three “Ladies” jumping out of the design in full 10 color madness, ready to swallow the souls of would-be onlookers and recruit them to their legion of the undead!

Here’s some specs on this limited edition:

•LIMITED TO ONLY 500 SHIRTS!
•T-SHIRT WITH EXCLUSIVE 10 COLOR EYE-POPPING DESIGN
•11×17 SIGNED AND NUMBERED COLLECTIBLE POSTER (by all three ladies of The Evil Dead)
•KEEPSAKE TRAP DOOR COLLECTOR’S BOX
•A VIAL OF EVIL DIRT – A PIECE OF HORROR HISTORY: authentic vial of dirt dug from the grounds where the actual cabin in The Evil Dead once stood in Morristown, TN

For all the full details and to pre-order the below shirt, click here.

Sale goes live today – TO NEWSLETTER SUBSCRIBERS ONLY! So, if you’re not on the list, just go to www.fright-rags.com and sign up, right on the homepage.

10/ Re-Animator (1985)

Re-Animaniac Herbert West injecting some life into proceedings

Is it just me or were they having more of a laugh making horror films in the 80s? It seems like such a golden age for grisly, messy, witty, silly and absolutely bloody genius gorefests. And with Re-Animator Stuart Gordon prescribes a deliriously high dosage of all the above… then pours an extra geyser of blood on top. Just to be sure. Based on a classic H.P. Lovecraft story, this madcap tale about screwball medical student Herbert West, and his scientific breakthrough that enables him to re-animate dead tissue, is both a subtle poke at the dangers of nonsensical scientific progress and also an absurdly unsubtle slice of 1980s horror humour. Jeffrey Combs puts in a delightfully demented turn as West, the evil orchestrator of the ensuing gory exuberance, as the film bounces from one bizarre scene to the next. An oft-forgotten gem.

Best bit – The ghastly re-re-animation of Daniel’s unfortunate cat. Having already been killed , brought back to life and battered back to death, West then gleefully gives the poor, crippled pussy one last resurrection to prove his shocking genius to Daniel.

9/ Candyman (1992)

Born in the imagination of horror maestro Clive Barker, in at number 9, comes the legend of Candyman. We’ve all heard it. There aren’t too many adolescent horror fans who haven’t dared to test themselves by defiantly pronouncing ‘Candyman’ five times to their own spotty reflections in the mirror. The genius of this film is not in spawning this myth, nor even in creating one of the most enduring icons in horror film folklore. The genius of ‘Candyman’ derives from its intelligent investigations into the power of these myths themselves. In her efforts to prove the non-reality of the Candyman myth, sacrificial victim Helen Lyle unwittingly conjures the Candyman myth out of myth and into reality… and, in the process of her horrific torture, creates a fresh Candyman myth to inhabit the imaginations of trembling teenagers. Because Candyman doesn’t live in reality. He dwells where he was born… in the imagination.

Best bit – The hair-raising (and head-scorching) finale, as Helen battles to save a baby from inside a rapidly accelerating bonfire, with Candyman’s furious bellowing echoing around her, as she becomes wrapped up in flames.

8/ Videodrome (1983)

James Woods gives his TV some head

Another gory classic from the 80s, this time from the master of macabre body-horror, and Toronto’s own, David Cronenburg. Its about Max Renn, played by pokerfaced James Woods, a porn industry executive looking for the freshest, most controversial content he can lay his grubby mitts on. When he stumbles upon Videodrome, a plotless, violent show of sexual cruelty, he thinks he’s found it. What he doesn’t realise is that he hasn’t found Videodrome, Videodrome has found him. His exposure to its signal transforms his brain and body into a human vehicle for Videodrome’s desires, even to the point where its evil executives can put video-tapes inside a yawning wound in his stomach to command his every action. The hallucinatory chaos that follows has to be seen to be believed, as televisions spew guts and video recorders sprout veins. Clever, if somewhat mind-boggling, this is Cronenburg’s finest hour… and a half.

Best bit – As the hallucinations start to take hold, Max is so seduced by the image of Debbie Harry (yep, Debbie Harry of Blondie…she gets naked too) that he jams his face into his television, finding the squishy screen surprisingly yielding to his efforts.

7/ Wes Craven’s New Nightmare (1994)

Wes Craven's Fred refuses to drop dead

I love horror films. I love postmodernism. And I loved the first Nightmare on Elm Street film. So it seems only natural that I should love this final, final, Nightmare on Elm Street, as Wes Craven, inventor and director of the original Elm Street, chucks all three ingredients into a fuming, fiery melting pot, boiling over with imagination. Because this is a film on a mission. And that mission is to save Craven’s 1984 creation Freddy Krueger from the direness he had been doused in during a decade littered with excruciatingly banal sequels. It’s a brilliantly realised concept, as the actors from the first film play themselves making one final sequel to the Freddy series whilst Freddy himself battles to break out of the dreary fictional world he has been consigned to and into the real world, where he gruesomely tortures the increasingly confused cast by bringing the world of the first film with him. It’s postmodernism all over and a great way for Craven to have his own, final say, on the Freddy phenomenon he created, whilst at last preserving Freddy’s soul in a sequel worthy of his monstrous cinematic status. Although, come to mention it, I did quite like the 3^rd one.

Best Bit – When the events, and even the film set, start to mirror the first film, beginning with the babysitter’s ceiling-crawling demise at the clawed hands of an invisible Freddy. John Saxon is especially creepy when he starts muttering lines his character once said, ten years before.

6/ Psycho (1960)

Norman Bates: Just don't do any 'ya mum' jokes

It might be the oldest film in the top 10 but this fact has no bearing on the power of Psycho to unsettle audiences, nearly half a century since its release. Horror directors working today would chop off their limbs (well, they’re certainly eager to chop enough off their characters) if they could create even half the dread the late, great Alfred Hitchcock generated in audiences with Psycho, one of the all-time classics of any film genre. For this is cinema of the highest order, as the tension is cranked up early, though faintly at first, during thieving Marion Crane’s paranoid getaway, and then is blown completely off the scale by the sudden, brutal nature of that shower scene. Despite only lasting 12 seconds its impression on the mind is unshakeable, even when you know it’s coming. From then on the viewers’ frayed nerves are set to tweak at the slightest provocation. And Hitchcock makes damn sure that this happens.

     Anthony Perkins’ twitchy performance as momma’s boy Norman Bates is spot-on,  sensationally bringing to the screen Norman’s insecure social bungling, edgy temperament and fierce psychotic eruptions. Psycho is the original slasher/serial killer flick and is still yet to be topped in the nerve-wracking stakes, even to this day.

Best Bit – It would be far too predictable to pick the infamous shower slicing scene. The most powerful moment, for me, comes in the final five minutes, after Norman’s psychosis is explained, and we are granted very brief access into his mind… to find the crazed mother reigning there… and a twisted satisfaction on Norman’s face.

5/ Scream (1996)

The killer reflected as the victim Drew in her first scream

Because I’m not content with drooling uncontrollably over Wes Craven’s deployment of postmodernism in his ‘New Nightmare’ film, I shall now conduct more pandering to the postmodern arts by worshipping Scream, his shrewd celebration of slasher flicks. Ok, so I’m obsessed, but it’s just so clever! I’ll explain myself. Scream is a slasher flick about slasher flicks; a slasher flick that is aware of its generic status as a slasher flick and even has its characters making consistent slasher flick references to their own slasher flick situations. Erm, maybe I should try and refrain from using the term slasher flick from now on. Randy “there are certain rules that one must abide by” Meeks is the embodiment of this genre appreciation, and his witty, know-it-all remarks on proceedings enlighten the cast and audience throughout. Why, he even knows who did it. “There’s always some stupid bullshit reason to kill your girlfriend” he observes midway through, “Besides, if it gets too complicated, you lose your target audience.” A canny self-referential line that is typical of the film as a whole.

     Of course, it helps if you’re already a fan of such splatterfests, because the references and in-jokes come thicker and faster than the mounting bodycount, but for horror fans it is a welcome dose of originality in a genre not often renowned for it. A particularly superb sequence comes near the end, when the soundtrack from classic slasher flick (Oh crap! I said it again!) ‘Halloween’ emanates from the tv in the background, adding extra tension to the climactic scenes. And, let’s not forget, Scream is a horror film first and foremost, so crucially this genre referencing doesn’t detract from the gory thrills on offer… in fact, it even succeeds as a well-disguised whodunit.

 Best bit – Has to be the marvellous 12 minute, pre-credit torturing of Drew Barrymore, as she makes chit-chat with a killer who ‘wants to play a little game’, has her horror movie knowledge put to the most bloodcurdling of tests, and eventually ends up ‘sliced and diced’ and hanging from a tree.

4/ Ju-on: The Grudge (2003)   

Eeeerrrrrrgggghhh!!!

In the last decade, whilst Western horror films have predictably regurgitated all manner of diabolical re-makes (The Wicker Man with Nicolas Cage anyone?!) and mindless violent bollocks (Hostel, the Saw sequels), east of the globe the Japanese have steadily been laying down their own brutal markers for truly disturbing horror.

     The plot of The Grudge is simple and really just a foundation on which to unleash set-piece after set-piece of relentless, mounting dread on increasingly uncomfortable audiences. A house where dreadful violence once occurred holds the deathly essence of these events within it and anyone who sets foot inside is tainted fatally by it, no matter where they go. But, like I said, this basic premise is the mere foundation on which the experience is built, for the entire essence of the film, like the house itself, practically oozes an evil that comes crawling at you from every crevice. There is no clever point to it, there is no subtle character or plot development, it is all just there to scare you shitless. And it’s very effective, a rollercoaster of pure tension with little release, leaving you hanging on the edge of the drops way longer than is healthy for your blood pressure. Each terrifying scene builds and builds to the point where, after 90 minutes of being perched rigidly on the edge of your seat, your arse, as well as your angst-riddled mind, begins to ache with the effort. But, this is what horror is all about. I know, I read it on the back of a trashy Dean Koontz novel.  

     As always, Hollywood just couldn’t resist rehashing it and, as much as Sarah Michelle Gellar’s image is never nauseating, dull, soulless re-gurgitations like that most certainly are.

 Best bit – The twisted descent of the ghoul down the staircase in the final climax; an act of contortion more gruesome than your average circus performer.

3/ The Shining (1980)

Here's Johnny!

I have the greatest of respect for Stephen King… as a writer. As a film critic however, I’ve got to be honest, he sucks big time. How can he possibly mistake this masterpiece of grandeur and suspense for the worst adaptation of one of his stories, finding it ‘dreadfully upsetting’ and the only one he can ‘remember hating’? Has he not seen ‘Dreamcatcher’, ‘Needful Things’ or the juvenile attempts at scariness offered by the guff ‘Children of the Corn’ series? Please Stephen, stick to what you do best eh?

     The Shining, in its novel form, is a shimmering example of what King does do best, with it’s meticulously constructed character flaws (including his trademark struggling writer turned alcoholic), brooding supernatural menace and devastating explosions of horror. Kubrick naturally had to adapt it for the screen the best way he could, and so rightfully discarded any potentially preposterous sequences, such as when the hedge animals come alive. The focus of Kubrick’s film is taken away from the alcoholic tendencies of Jack, the tortured father and husband, and placed confidently in the realm of ambiguity. No tightly plotted character background to explain the mental degeneration of Jack Torrence here; the horror of the events are far scarier when the root cause for Jack’s mania is up in the air. Was Jack Torrence mad to begin with? Have the supernatural forces of the hotel merely brought them out? Or would the malicious hotel have claimed the sanity of any would-be caretaker, no matter who it was?

     The gloriously unhinged, career-defining performance of Jack Nicholson helps to create an image of a man who might be nearing the end of his tether right from the off, so when his psychosis starts to show itself it just seems to make sense. The film is unnervingly precise in its approach, patient but forceful, as the dread escalates towards the axe-happy ‘Here’s Johnny’ moments of the finale. King should be proud. His work inspired one of the only true ‘works of art’ the horror genre has been blessed with.

 Best bit: I just love the moment when dopey housewife Shelley Duvall finally discovers the very real depths, and apparently long-lasting, madness of her husband, by flicking through the end product of his countless days hunched over the typewriter.

2/ Alien (1979)

The Perfect Organism: "Its structural perfection is matched only by its hostility"

Firstly, a quicky explanation. Alien has made this horror top 10 because it is a horror film… set in space. Aliens, though awesome, is not. It is an action blockbuster… set in space. Alien is a horror film because it’s a haunted house movie, set on a spaceship, which is terrorised by one of the scariest monsters in cinema history. It’s dark, it’s claustrophobic, and it’s damn horrifying when it wants to be.  My Dad showed me this film, his favourite of all-time, when I was a wee nipper and though it had me quivering under my sheets at night, tossing nervous glances at the bedroom door to check no extra-terrestrial menaces with bitey tongues were coming to devour me, I’m very glad he did. Because it has become one of my all-time favourites too. Ridley Scott’s masterful direction is composed, patient, and utterly ruthless when going for the jugular. The timing and the twists are all the more devastating because of his deft approach. James Cameron went on to scale spectacular new heights with Aliens seven years later (also one of mine and my Dad’s favourite films) but its Ridley Scott’s initial shocker that carves the deeper scars in one’s consciousness.

Best Bit – Sorry, but I’m going to have to be predictable with this one. Yep, you guessed it, it’s the chestbursting scene. It might just be the best, and most shocking, scene ever. Brilliantly executed by Scott, it still has a powerful effect on me when I watch it, even now, 15 years since it first terrified me.

1/ Evil Dead 2 (1987)

Dead by Dawn! Dead by Dawn!

The best of the best when it comes to awesome 80s, low-budget, blood-gushing free-for-alls. It was no small task choosing between this and the 1981 original for the top spot (because, let’s face it, it had to be one of them) but this manic feast of eye-popping inventiveness has nabbed the honours by the rotting skin of its zombie teeth. And it was soooo close. The first one had the endlessly cringe-worthy pencil stab to the Achilles scene; and then who can forget the glorious bit of tree rape in the woods. But this riot of a sequel, which is not so much a sequel than a total re-vamping of the first, ups the gross-out comic ante even further, and is full to bulging with memorable moments.

Bruce didn't really need a hand at that moment

This is the film where undead-warrior Bruce Campbell cemented his cult status, really coming into his own as his girlfriend falls prey to the zombie horde early on, leaving him alone to fight the steaming menace from the woods. From then on the ghastly laughs escalate at a frenetic rate, as scene by gore-drenched scene hurtles past, cram-packed with such mania as zombie waltzes in the night, spiteful heads in vices, eyes popping out into screaming mouths, chortling mooseheads, bitter squabbles with mirrored reflections, zombies anxiously gnashing for mouthfuls of hair, and the most epic duel in the history of epic duels between one man and his severed hand. It’s a hoot, from start to finish, but it also has so much to teach us. I mean, I for one know what to do when the dead eventually do start stalking me from their graves. Grab a chainsaw, chop off my own hand, attach said chainsaw to my arm where the hand used to be, rev it up, and in my good hand brandish my boomstick at any foolhardy deadite that comes crawling. Easy. Or, should I say… Groovy!!

Best Bit – aagh! Don’t make me pick one…………… ok, since I’ve found an awesome picture, I’ll opt for Ash’s war with his pesky and persistent right hand. It’s a fantastic sequence, though why he thought putting it in a bucket with the book ‘A Farewell to Arms’ on top would work remains a constant bafflement.

Please join hands and bow your heads for the blessing.

Dear Heavenly Father,

We thank you for this day, a day when we can all be together to marvel at your works and the bounty you’ve set before us.  We are humbled by this feast and we ask that it be a blessing to our bodies as we partake of it together.

But above all, oh Lord, we, like so many other families gather together around dinner tables this Thanksgiving Day, thank you for Mr. Sam Raimi; a man who, in this world of imitators, hacks and fast-food cinema, is a true auteur, whose influence can be felt in whatever project he touches, whether directing, writing or producing.

We thank you for his roots, working in shared editing rooms with the Coen Brothers, while taking his homemade horror flick “Evil Dead” from theatre to theatre by hand all the while earning the cult classic status it still enjoys today.

We give thanks for the genius that is “Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn” and “Army of Darkness”, films that taught us that a chainsaw, a shotgun and a high school physics textbook are all the tools one needs to defeat the denizens of the damned.  We especially give thanks for the “Medieval Dead” director’s cut which gives us a glimpse at Ash’s fate as the last man on earth.  We love the extra drop of sleep potion gag, oh Lord, as it remains a classic to this day.

We are grateful for his succulent side dishes, “Hercules: The Legendary Journeys” and “Xena: Warrior Princess.”  And we are even grateful for the vegetarian lasagna-like offerings of “Jack of All Trades”, “M.A.N.T.I.S.” and “Cleopatra 2020.”  We realize that although no one seems to enjoys those dishes, they were still made with love.

We thank thee for appetizers “Darkman” and the genre-bending western “The Quick and the Dead.”

And finally, Lord, we thank you for “Spider-Man,” my all-time favorite super hero brought to life on the big screen in a way that not only honors the source material, but improves upon it – we’re lookin’ at you, organic web shooters.  We also thank you for “Spider-Man 2″, one of the undisputed greatest comic book movies of all time.

To hell with “Spider-Man 3.”

Heavenly Father, I could go on and on about all the wonder, style, laughs, scares and iconography Mr. Raimi has brought into our lives, but people are hungry and I’m starting to get the stink-eye from my nephew Darrion as well as my pregnant wife who is impatiently waiting to eat for two.  So I’ll just wrap this up by paraphrasing a line of dialogue written by the man himself, which I think, summarizes nicely how this quirky, Hollywood outsider became one of the most beloved creative minds of a generation:

“Sure, I coulda been king.  But in my own way, I AM king.  Hail to the king, baby.”

Amen.

Oh, and please bless his weird brother Ted.

Amen.

All of these films received a perfect 5/5 rating from me, so I’m not going to rank them. They have withstood multiple viewings and I love each and every one like a sibling.

LET SLEEPING CORPSES LIE 1974
Directed by Jorge Grau
Radiation emitted from farm equipment meant to eliminate insects brings the dead back to life. Thanks to a minor accident, a man and woman become travelling companions. Not only do the couple have to contend with the living dead, but they also have a relentless cop on their trail that believes the two are on a killing spree. The zombies in this early entry are visually, the least grotesque of the list. However, they pile on the gore when the zombies are chowing down, which was particularily nasty for the time. A strong story with interesting plot twists and two likeable leads, played by Ray Lovelock and Cristina Galbó, who do an excellent job. The film looks great and the final showdown in the Manchester Morgue is a memorable affair that left me feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.

RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD 1985
Directed by Dan O’Bannon
Two inept employees of a medical supply warehouse accidently release a gas that brings the dead to life. Suddenly medical experiments are reanimating. Sliced half dogs start barking, butterflies pinned to boards start fluttering, and a really gory dead guy needs to be put down. After eliminating their gory new friend they need to find a way to discard his twitching parts. Fortunately a funeral home with a crematorium is right around the corner. They make up a crazy story about rabid weasels, so their neighbour helps them out. This of course releases more of the gas into the air and a group of friends partying in a graveyard are the first to be attacked. This film just kills me. Not only does it make me laugh…hard, it is also very gory. The zombies makeup is awesome. The zombies can actually speak and think. At one point a zombie gets on the police radio and asks the station to send more cops. Another zombie manages to rig up a device to break down a metal door. James Karen and Thom Mathews who play the bumbling employees are hilarious. There is no down time in this film. It is one crazy scene after another. Loads of zombies, copious gore, fun characters, humour and it still manages to deliver some pretty damn intense scenes. The ending is pure horror gold!

DAWN OF THE DEAD 1978
Directed by George A. Romero
Romero’s second film in the “Dead” series follows four survivors who whole up in an abandoned mall. They make a decent go of it for a while by arming themselves, killing the zombies inside
and locking the place down. But tensions begin to build among the group. So when a bike gang invades their safehaven, they are forced to fight for their lives against both the bikers and the undead. Horrifying, intense, gory as hell and occasionally amusing, ‘Dawn of the Dead’ was one of the first zombie films for me, and it quite literally changed my life. My movie life anyway. From that day forward, I had to see every single zombie film ever made. It also upped the ante on my gore expectations for every other horror film thereafter. Once again, Romero creates an intelligent and entertaining horror film that has become an endearing classic. Thank you very much Mr. Romero.

CEMETERY MAN 1994
Directed by Michele Soavi
The film is about cemetery caretaker Francesco Dellamorte. When the dead begin rising after being buried for seven days it’s just business as usual for Dellamorte. His job is making sure the dead get buried after all. It’s about the dead and the living, and loneliness and love. Oh, and it has zombies, decapitated heads, nudity and gore! You could call this one the thinking man’s (or womans!) zombie film. It manages to happily marry an artistic approach with solid dialog and acting, with outrageous over-the-top gory situations. It’s all served up with a hearty helping of black humour. Rupert Everett who plays Dellamorte is just excellent. Cemetery Man sports one of the most fantastic endings I have ever seen.

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD 1968
Directed by George A. Romero
After her brother is attacked, Barbara makes a run for it, and eventually comes to an isolated house where she seeks shelter. Barbara meets Ben who decides the best course of action is to fortify their shelter. After several hours they discover there is a small group of five survivors holed up in the basement. With plenty working against them they attempt to construct the best plan of action. ‘Night of the Living Dead is indeed the granddaddy of zombie films. Obviously it is not as graphic as Romero’s more recent work but for the time it was pretty risky. The reanimated freshly dead look relatively normal but dazed. Those who were bitten are in various stages of decay and are considerably gorier. The zombies are shown gnawing away on organs and body parts, ripping and tearing away at the human flesh. The effects makeup and action scenes really are outstanding. The feeling of hopelessness is overwhelming and Romero does not reward with a happy ending. It is bleak, cynical and horrifying. Concentrating on the human reaction to the zombie outbreak instead of the creatures themselves allowed Romero to make some interesting and thought-provoking commentary. It is the manner in which he handles his subject that results in a truly eerie and memorable experience. A classic in every sense of the word. You can read my full review of Night of The Living Dead by clicking here.

PLANET TERROR 2007
Directed by Robert Rodriguez
Lt. Muldoon is making a business transaction on behalf of the military for a biochemical weapon known as “Project Terror”. During the transaction the scientist who created it intentionally releases it into the air. Meanwhile elsewhere in rural Texas an unhappy and abused wife/nurse is arranging to leave her doctor husband. In another part of town Cherry Darling, who has just quit her job, stops at the Bone Shack for something to eat when she runs in to ex boyfriend El Wray. Eventually the various survivors come together, and the ragtag group work together to fight for their lives and save the world. I love everything about this film, but Cherry’s machine gun leg is the coolest fucking thing on the planet! Great cast, tons of energy, action-packed with kickass effects. This film rocks!

ZOMBI 2 1979
Directed by Lucio Fulci
A boat arrives in New York with a zombie on board but no passengers. The boat belongs to Anne’s father and she wants answers. She hooks up with a journalist and the two investigate her fathers disappearance. They travel to an island where they meet Dr Menard, and they soon find out that a plague has taken over that is bringing the dead back to life and hungry for human flesh. Maggots and worms is what makes Fulci’s Zombie films extra special. Well maggots and worms and deliciously disgusting makeup. Fulci zombies are gross with a capital “G”! If you enjoy Fulci, then you gotta love the gore. Entrails, eye-gouging and the infamous ‘zombie bites shark’ under water sequence.

SHAUN OF THE DEAD 2004
Directed by Edgar Wright
Shaun is dumped by girlfriend Liz and vows to get his shit together to win her back. The plan is put on the backburner however, due to a recent infestation of zombies. Shaun, along with best pal and roommate Ed, bravely go about saving friends and family and head to the safest place they know…their favorite pub, The Winchester. Shaun of the dead manages to be both hilarious and intense. The scene with Shaun and his mum almost brought a wee tear to my eye. An excellent cast with perfect chemistry that create characters you actually care about. Did I mention zombies? There are a shitload of zombies!

DEAD ALIVE (aka Braindead) 1992
Directed by Peter Jackson
This is Dead Alive’s second appearance on a Dungeon list. It held the number one spot in my “Five Films that Feature Bad Ass Mom’s“. An overbearing mother is bit by a rare Sumatran Rat Monkey while spying on her son and his date at the zoo. She rapidly becomes ill and dies. Unfortunately, she comes back as a zombie. If he thought mom was demanding before, he hasn’t seen anything yet! She starts chomping on people like crazy and soon her son has a gaggle of zombies to contend with. Trying to balance a new relationship while attending to the undead proves to be a challenge. When a creepy uncle shows up for mom’s funeral things spiral out of control. I haven’t a clue how many times I’ve watched this film over the years! The effects in this film are outrageous and bloody amazing. It is insanely gory! Among its numerous memorable scenes are zombies fornicating and giving birth to a little zombie baby. It wins hands down as the best use of a lawnmower in a horror film!

EVIL DEAD/EVIL DEAD 2/ARMY OF DARKNESS 1981/1987/1992
Directed by Sam Raimi
The series starts with five friends who go to stay in a cabin in the woods. They innocently play a tape they find that happens to be translated passages from the Necronomicon or “Book of The Dead”. Evil most foul is unleashed on their asses. I didn’t want any sequels on the list and I already have one director with two films (Romero, of course!) so I’m packaging these ones together. All 3 of these films are fun as hell! The effects are great, it is high energy, fast paced and hilarious! And of course there is Ash, the handsome smart-ass S-Mart employee played by Bruce Campbell. Campbell can definitely take at least some of the credit for the success of this triology. I could quote more lines from these three films than the other seven combined. I believe this is the first and only time that I have seen a woman raped by a tree.

I don’t consider myself to be a huge horror movie fan, but I like getting creeped-out as much as anyone. In addition to reading a great review for the movie from my favorite critic, I also heard from family members that Drag Me to Hell was genuinely scary and had the bonus of being funny. So I’d been excited to see it for some time.

It was made by the Raimi brothers, who were also responsible for Army of Darkness and the Evil Dead movies, both well-known for being over-the-top, funny “horror” movies– if you could even call them that. Sam Raimi directed, and is perhaps better known now as the director of the Spiderman movies, all of which I think are mediocre.

Given that background, there’s as much to laugh at in Drag Me to Hell as there are things to get scared about. But what I really consider special about the movie is it’s opening. Paced perfectly, it sets up the scares and laughs through the vehicle of a morality tale. This might sound lamer than it is, but it’s rather impressive how universal the Raimi brothers make the heroine’s initial fall from grace seem. We all feel like we could be equally cursed for our own past trangressions.

If you are feeling lost, this is what happens: a woman works in a bank, sees her life going nowhere, and decides that to get a promotion she needs to immediately show her boss that she can be a tight-ass for the bank. Unfortunate for her, she must prove her mettle by denying an old woman further loan assistance on her mortgage, even after the woman gets down on her knees and begs for the loan. Without the loan she says she will lose her home. Our banking heroine denies the loan extension anyway, and the old woman angrily places a curse of death upon her. The curse allows a demon spirit to torment the film’s heroine for three days and then potentially kill her.

All of this happens in the first 15-20 minutes or so of the movie, and is executed masterfully. For this reason I guess the rest of the movie was somewhat of a letdown. Our heroine must try to rather inevitably get rid of the curse as the demon progressively does more and more scary stuff. Sure, there were some great scenes and funny moments, but ultimately I felt like the film never lived up to its promise.

So what were the Raimi brothers trying to say about our personal choices when we choose selfishness over compassion for others? That we are all damned to hell? It’s an intriguing philosophical question, and if anything the movie should make you think about it.

You can watch the preview for Drag Me to Hell by clicking here.

Logo Zombis

A veces uno no sabe muy bien como van a ir estas cosas, pero nos pusimos en contacto con el Terrat TV y con mucho morro y desparpajo, y sobre todo gracias a la magna labor de Adrià, hemos conseguido una entrevista, a estas nuevas estrellas supervivientes o murientes del Apocalipsis Zombie!

1) ¿De dónde surge la idea de hacer una serie sobre zombis y siendo vosotros los únicos supervivientes de un Apocalipsis Zombi?

-Rafel Barceló: Los zombis nos encantan desde hace tiempo. Esas caras semi-podridas, esos andares, esos gritos guturales… son entrañables. Lo de que los protagonistas sean dos supervivientes, a parte de ser una de las constantes del género, nos permite hacer humor sobre cosas muy serias: ¿Cómo debe plantearse una nueva civilización? ¿Qué debe pasar a la posteridad? ¿Si se hacen nuevas leyes, cuales se conservan y cuales no? Y así…

- Berto Romero: Desde hacía tiempo nos apetecía hacer algo de este tipo. Una misma situación con dos personajes y una buena excusa para hablar de cualquier cosa. Dos tipos no demasiado inteligentes con todo el tiempo del mundo para pensar, charlar e intentar construir su propio futuro nos pareció una situación muy adecuada.

2) ¿Por qué elegís los zombis y no cualquier otro personaje de terror, como por ejemplo: hombres lobo, vampiros, momias, etc,etc…?

- RB: Los zombis son los que permiten más la metáfora. Son monstruos, pero antes de serlo eran tus vecinos, y en algunos casos tu familia. Eso permite muchas lecturas. Como masa idiotizada estamos muy cerca de ellos. Personalmente odio a Drácula, con su elegancia y sus maneras de noble. Lleva capa, por Dios, será hortera…

- BR: Las pelis de zombis siempre se apoyan en la metáfora. Eso nos gusta, y quisimos trasladarlo al tipo de comedia que nos gusta. Pero tranquilos, que no profundizamos y vamos a hacer caricatura de temas generales. Va por ahí la cosa, sí.

Rafel Barceló & Berto Romero - supervivientes!

- RB: Las de Romero todas, Zombis Party, Brain Dead, Evil Dead…

- BR: Totalmente de acuerdo. Muertos vivientes power. Recomiendo “Dead Set”, la miniserie de Channel 4. Muy buena.

4) ¿Qué preferís un Muerto Viviente o un Vivo viviente?

- RB: En principio prefiero a los vivos. Pero tampoco muy vivientes. Vivos Tranquilitos.

- BR: Por mi experiencia, vivos vivientes. Quiero decir que nunca he visto uno de los otros. No existen de verdad, ¿verdad? ¿eh? ¿verdad?

5) ¿Tu novia es un zombi? (Si es posible, mientras respondéis escuchad Alaska de fondo…)

- RB: Mi mujer no es un zombi. Aunque si lo fuera yo sería de los que intentaría mantenerla en un cuartucho con vida. Debe ser muy fuerte dispararle a la cabeza a tu pareja.

- BR: Mi novia es muy buena persona, y por lo que yo sé, mantiene sus constantes vitales en todo momento.

6) ¿Necrofilia o Necrofagia? (Tenéis que mojaros!)

- RB: Necrofagia. ¿Cuando quedamos? Tengo un patio con barbacoas.

- BR: Necrofagia siempre. ¿Qué somos? ¿Unos degenerados o qué?

7) Por ahora habéis tocado temas como el amor, la religión, la fiesta,… ¿Y para cuando tenéis pensado tocar la Crisis?

- RB: No lo sabemos. Aunque nuestros planes son tocar temas más universales, y menos de actualidad. De manera que si quisiéramos tocar algo parecido a la crisis sería el capitalismo, o la avaricia.

- BR: Yo creo que estar en un mundo dominado por los zombis ya es bastante crisis. No veo cómo añadirle otra a la situación, la verdad.

Zombólogo (Zombi + Monólogo)

Aparte de vosotros dos como zombis, ¿Tenéis pensado hacer alguna invitación tipo Guest Star al Follonero, Andreu Buenafuente,..?

- RB: No lo hemos planteado todavía, pero yo creo que a los dos nos ha pasado por la cabeza.

- BR: Sí, estamos abiertos a todo. Y en cuanto a la serie, también.

9) Al igual que las pelis de George A. Romero conllevan una moraleja y una crítica social, ¿Cuál sería vuestra función social?

- RB: Yo creo que esta: “si no queda otra persona en el mundo, más vale que te lleves bien con esta”

- BR: Yo tengo otra: “Si todos los demás están muertos, tú siempre estarás en la flor de la vida”.

10) ¿Por que elegís Internet a través de El Terrat TV como vía de promoción de vuestra serie?

- RB: De una manera natural. Nosotros teníamos en la cabeza esta serie desde hace tiempo. El terrat empezó a hablar de una tele por Internet. Nosotros colaboramos con el terrat y estamos a muy a gusto.

- BR: Yo la quería para prime time en la Sexta los domingos, pero cuando se lo propuse a los directivos se echaron a reir y se fueron a otra sala.

11) ¿Zombies o Infectados?

- RB: Creo que es lo de menos. Lo que importa son los resultados. Aunque personalmente soy un romántico y me gustan las explicaciones que incluyen contaminación atómica.

- BR: Zombis, zombis. Que infectados son los de la Gripe A.

Muchas gracias a los dos! Y como colofón (que no es lo mismo que colocón!) final… El nuevo episodio de Zombi:

Zombi / 4 – Civilización
¿Civilización o barbarie? Ese el gran dilema de cualquier sociedad humana. Especialmente si vive rodeada de zombies con hambre de cerebro.

I missed Drag Me to Hell when it made the theatre circuit and having now finally sat down to watch it I have to say I regret not seeing it on the big screen.

An angry gypsy curses a bank’s young loan officer (played by Alison Lohman) after she refuses to give an additional extension on the old woman’s mortgage. The young woman is then plagued by horrific visions, violent physical assaults and a barrage of fluids and grue.

I’ve read a lot of reviews shredding Sam Raimi’s return to the genre that made him famous. I find it funny that the reasons they give for hating the movie are often the ones that made me love it. I couldn’t help but feel that it was a return to form for Raimi, a return to the inventive camera work, over the top gore and love of bodily fluids that made him a household name…well at least in broken homes.

These opposing reviews generally start with “I’m a Sam Raimi fan but…” or “I loved Evil Dead but…” and then go on to condemn the movie on aspects like the comedic aspect and use of slapstick (watch for the anvil). This point voids their opening sentence since Raimi’s balance of comedy and terror ESPECIALLY in his early films is what created so many loyal fans.

They hated the over the top gore which is laughable when you think about a pencil in the heel back in 1981 and the amount of blood shed by these teens at a cabin in the woods. Melting demons and lusty trees. Raimi was a master of gore, what exactly were these “Raimi fans” expecting.

I like the fact that Raimi has stayed true to his habit of putting his leads through as much hell as possible. Lohman was exposed to gypsy puke, some sort of post death gypsy fluid, a vicious gumming and even ended up consumed by thick brown grave water which reminded me of Bruce Campbell doing take after take in muddy puddles in Evil Dead 2.

The only personal issue I had with this film were a couple of instances of bad CGI when I feel a practical effect could have been used (again, anvil, you’ll see). Other than that, it entertained me in a lot of the same ways that Raimi’s horror flicks always have right down to the throwback to floating, dancing, hovering demons. Creepy people puppetry always works for me.

I would say to anyone who hated this movie, especially for any of the features that really make it a Raimi film, your taste is suspect.

This movie is at least a must rent but definitely a must buy if you truly loved the Evil Dead trilogy or if you’ve had a craving to see someone stapled in the face.

Evil Dead: The Musical didn’t get a glowing review from this critic but nevertheless is still going strong and has added another week to their already extended run, now ending November 21, 2009.

Evil Dead: The Musical, presented by Ground Zero Theatre, Hit & Myth Productions and Keystone now plays until November 21, 2009 at the Vogue Theatre, 918 Granville St.  Tickets are available online or by phone at 604-280-4444.

Welcome once again kids to our weekly recap of our myriad journeys through the internet.

This has become a highlight for all of us and we’re hoping you’re enjoying the links as much as we’re enjoying compiling them for you.

Of course, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention this week’s cheesecake.  The lucky lady this week is Julie Bowen currently starring on ABC’s breakout hit, Modern Family.  This is far and away the funniest new show on television and you’re doing yourself a disservice if you’re not watching it.  You may also recognize Julie from Boston Legal, Happy Gilmore or, most of the GonzoGeek staff’s favorite, Ed.

Stephe and I originally had Julie slated for cheesecake duty a couple of weeks ago, but had a hard time finding the appropriate picture.  We’re sure glad we waited.  I bet you are too.

Quick piece of Modern Family trivia.  According to Wikipedia, Ed O’Neill, who plays the family patriarch, Jay Pritchett, is  a black belt in Gracie Jiu-Jitsu.  You don’t mess with Al Bundy kids.

On to the links.

1. Rock beats scissors.  Pelican beats Bugatti.
2. Dokken Radio.  Rhymes with Rokken Daddio.
3. All you gotta do…
4. Copying Risky Business is risky business.
5. In honor of the Sam Kinison concert DVD I found at Big Lots today for $6.
6. America (sadly) asked for it:  More Seth McFarlane than you can handle.
7. Super Dave Osborne on The Tonight Show – dick jokes and nut shots.
8. The trailer for Kick-Ass kicks…well…ass.
9. Will the Inglorious Basterds ride again?  Will they learn to spell?
10. Yo Sherlock!  Esquire interviews Robert Downey, Jr.
11. Evil Dead heading back to theaters in 2010.
12. And you know Ash will come armed…or handed.
13. Murderdeathkill!
14. Carrie Prejean threatens to walk out on Larry King.  Yeah, like she’s the first 20ish blonde to do that.
15. And she wasn’t having sex in that video.  Wow!  Even she can’t stand to be in the same room as her.
16. This one if for John.
17. Only if the swirls make a trio of 6’s.
18. Colts.  Patriots.  Sunday Night Football.
19. I want mine to be adorned with Hourman.
20. Take not girls.  Not all vampries are sparkly and sweet like in Twilight.
21. I blame Justin Long.  Wait!  Was that two Ed references this week?
22. Even Fox News is fact checking Sarah Palin now.
23. ED HAT TRICK!
24. Sean Hannity admits Jon Stewart was right.  In a related story, Hell freezes over!
25. He wasn’t extorting.  He was pitching.
26. Spider-Man 4 villain rumorsssss.
27. The Mayans weren’t the only ones to prophesy the end of the world.
28. David’s Iraq deployment blog.
29. And finally, something for all you golfers out there to put on your Christmas lists.

Anyone who knows me will probably be able to tell you about my love for horror movies. To be more specific: my absolute love of campy low-budget but highly enthusiastic horror movies. Think SciFi Channel original movies. Oh I’m sorry, am I supposed to say Syfy now [I flail]? It all started in 9th grade when my friend David opened my eyes to Peter Jackson’s Dead Alive (yes, THE Peter Jackson). What can I say without giving it all away? Well, how about the fact that I’ve never actually become nauseated while watching a piece of fiction until this movie. That was also the first time I saw Shaun of the Dead and on a different page, Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior. Well…

Skipping to the end:

Army of Darkness is one of my  favoritest favorite movies ever. So much so, I drove my ass to the Florida SuperCon this summer (along with my good friend Dan) to meet Bruce Campbell. Yes, his chin is that glorious in real life. I urge everyone who is interested in the greatest B-Movie actor in existence to buy his autobiography. It’s hilarious AND it has pictures. Yes, it might be blasphemy to like the third installment of the Evil Dead series more than the first two, but seriously…HE GOES BACK IN TIME! Automatic win. I have a point, I promise. I was Stumbling through the internets as per my usual late night routine when I laid my tired eyes upon gold. Apparently Sam Raimi is all up for an Evil Dead IV and Bruce Campbell is definitely in for it (not crappy Harrison Ford style either, for real real). There’s no actual production going on, but both Sam and Bruce are optimistic. That’s all I really need, honestly. Who cares if it comes out in 2015, hopefully the world will still be around, I’d be first in line to see it. Along with all the fanboys dressed as Ash with a chainsaw for a hand and a boomstick in the other. Well, I might have a boomstick. No guarantees.

Sam Raimi MAKE IT SO!

-Estherocket

“If someone vomits watching one of my films, it’s like getting a standing ovation.”

-John Waters

A few weeks ago I taught Herschell Gordon Lewis’ Blood Feast (1963) as part of a lesson on the advent of extreme gore in American cinema. In addition to providing context for why the film was made — Lewis only turned to gore because his stock in trade “nudie cuties” were now becoming standard fare in mainstream Hollywood films — I also went over the conventions of the gore film and the slasher film (Blood Feast is both) and screened clips from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974, Tobe Hooper) and The Evil Dead (1981, Sam Raimi). Given my blood-soaked lecture I suppose that my students were primed for an evening of non-stop blood and terror when they attended the Blood Feast screening.

But as the first example of gore, Blood Feast is far more restrained than its generic descendents. Therefore, during our class discussion of the film one disappointed student raised his hand and complained, “You wrote a check that film couldn’t cash.” His classmates nodded in agreement. This reaction surprised me a bit: Blood Feast may be tame, but it still contains scenes in which a woman’s tongue is ripped out and a leg is severed. I left the classroom shaking my head and wondering about the state of today’s youth.

The students found this scene to be only mildly disturbing

Theatrical poster for Blood Feast

But as it turns out, it is possible to shock Generation Y. All it takes is a little poop eating.

For our week on camp and its relationship with trash cinema, we discussed some of the basic characteristics of the camp aesthetic described by Susan Sontag in her famous essay, “Notes on Camp” (1964), such as artifice, exaggerated sexuality and theatricality. We then related these characteristics to the work of John Waters, especially as they applied to his star and muse, the incomparable Divine. I also described Waters’ interest in the abject and bodily fluids (saliva, vomit, shit) and warned them that the film contained (unstaged) acts of felatio and coprophagia. But truly, is there any way to prepare students for a screening of Pink Flamingos?

Waters once said of Divine "She was my Elizabeth Taylor."

Approximately 10 to 15 minutes into the film, not too long after Divine steals a piece of meat from a grocery store by shoving it under her tight lamé dress (all to the tune of Frankie Lymon and the Teenagers’ “I’m Not a Juvenile Delinquent”), the same student who had complained about Blood Feast turned to me and said, “Okay, you didn’t oversell this one.” “Just you wait,” I replied, “There’s a lot more to come.”

There is a voyeur character in Pink Flamingos named Cotton (Mary Vivian Pearce) who pleads with her beloved, Crackers (Danny Mills), to engage in ever kinkier sex for her viewing pleasure. “I’ve gotta see more than what I’ve already seen!” she whines. Crackers complies by incorporating two live chickens into his next “love making” session.

Crackers forces Cookie (Cookie Mueller) into chicken sex.

The viewing audience for Pink Flamingos is a lot like Cotton in that we too expect Waters to present ever more shocking images as the film goes on — every scene ups the ante. This goal is achieved by having the film’s narrative center on a group of scheming middle class poseurs, Connie and Raymond Marble (Mink Stole and David Lochary), attempting to wrest the title of “filthiest people alive” from Divine and her family. This leads to the breaking of all kinds of long-standing cultural taboos, including the big three: murder, cannibalism and incest. Of course, Divine does not engage in these acts to compete with the Marbles — she does these things because they are in her nature to do them. She is, indeed, the filthiest person alive.

Divine prepares to perform felatio on her son.

The movie concludes with a kangaroo court trial of Connie and Raymond Marble, who are convicted of “assholism.” Divine tars and feathers the convicts, executes them in front of a crowd of gossip reporters, and then flees to Boise, Idaho with Crackers and Cotton.

Divine holds a press conference before executing the Marbles

At this point in the film my students were pretty shell shocked. They had watched an extended scene of passionate toe-sucking. They witnessed a singing asshole (literally)  and a pre-operative transsexual flash her penis at the camera. But then came the film’s famous denoument. My students knew it was coming and yet, they were not prepared.

As the scene unfolded my students howled with disgust. But I was in the back of the room laughing so hard that tears were rolling down my face. “You’re enjoying this?” one incredulous student remarked, “What is wrong with you?” But this scene is funny. When Divine smiles at the camera with shit-covered teeth, the image is gag-inducing but it is also hilarious in its sheer defiance. It is the ultimate in juvenile high jinks. This image appeals to the 9-year-old in me.

The credits rolled and my students slowly filed out of the classroom, shaking their heads and muttering under their breath. Watching them go  I realized that it is still possible to shock today’s youth. My hat goes off to you, Mr. Waters.

If you’ve noticed the lack of posting on B&B recently, it’s been due to the fact that I (Bill Bodkin) have been taken away from blogging duties because I just went in for surgery. Nothing huge, but it’s kept me away from the site for the past week and 1/2. I even had to forgo my Halloween plans to make sure all my work was done for my job.

So I felt what better inspiration for a Top 10 post! These films are ones that I feel really can capture the Halloween spirit even if the ground is covered in snow or it’s the middle of a blazing summer.

1. Shaun of the Dead:
Fresh off the critical and cult success of their UK sitcom Spaced, Simon Pegg, Edgar Wright, Nick Frost and Big Talk Productions took a huge gamble and produced this wacky yet serious, romantic yet gory tribute to George Romero films. The film is filled to the brim with brilliant sight gags, witty one-liners, wanky British humor, tongue-in-cheek film references as well as genuine horrifying sequences and a real sense of humanity. This is one you can watch a million times and still find something new and hilarious.

2. Evil Dead Trilogy: Suck on this you primitive screw heads! The brainchild of then first-time director Sam Raimi and executed to acting perfection by Bruce CampbellThe Evil Dead series, is equal parts side-splitting comedy and gruesome, terrifying horror. The first Evil Dead flick is a bloody-as-all-hell horror film that is a good Evil Dead starting point. Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn is basically a rehashing of the first film with the Three Stooges-esque comedy ramped up to 11. “Evil Dead 3″ Army of Darkness is a terrific combination of slapstick and action/horror film that is known for its memorable one-liners than anything else. Remember…shop smart…shop S Mart.

3. Sleepy Hollow: Heads will roll indeed! Tim Burton creates a beautiful film that seamlessly combines 50s Hollywood back lot horror with modern CGI technology. Slightly modified from the original story, Johnny Depp played Constable Ichabod Crane, a forward thinking yet timid NY cop sent to the small hamlet of Sleepy Hollow to investigate a series of murders. Burton’s gothic tendencies, Depp’s daft performance and Christopher Walken as the Headless horseman makes this a classic.

4. The Nightmare Before Christmas: Another Burton gem. This is a beautifully crafted stop-motion animated musical comedy that has inspired millions of Hot Topics products. The music of Danny Elfman (who provides the singing voice of Jack the Pumpkin King) and unique vision of director Henry Selick (and Burton of course) make this not only a timeless Halloween classic, but a Christmas one as well.

5. Night Watch/Day Watch: The brainchild of Russian visionary Timmur Bekmambetaov, (known in the states for Wanted), this is a really trippy series of films that has to be watched within the same sitting. The film revolves around Anton Gorodetsky (Konstantin Khabenskiy), a reluctant agent for the forces of good who constantly battles the end of the world, vampires and tons of emotional problems in Russia. The visuals are mind-blowing, I mean see to believe it good and the story-telling, while frustrating at first, come together perfectly in the final act.

There's gonna be HELL to pay: The Hellboy films are just two films you can catch the Halloween spirit with year-round.

6. Hell Boy and Hellboy 2: The Golden Army: Hellboy’s success can be attributed to the brilliant mind of director Guillermo del Toro as well as the brilliant performance by Ron Perlman. The fantastical adventures of Hellboy and his buddies is a visual buffet filled only with the sweetest treats. The comedy is very high especially in Hellboy 2: The Golden Army where a drunk Hellboy and Abe Sapien belt out Barry Manilow’s “Cant Smile Without You.”

7. Pan’s Labyrinth: The masterpiece of Guillermo del Toro. He is able to tell concurrent stories of a fantasy world and World War II Spain, with the same attention to detail. The film’s creature effects are what’d you’d expect from the fantastical touch of the jolly director, but the drama and the phenomenal finale are what makes the film that damn good.

8. Big Trouble in Little China: Jump on the Porkchop Express with good ol’ Jack Burton (the amazingly underrated Kurt Russell) as he and his friends go into the mystical depths of the Chinese underworld. Helmed by John Carpenter, the film has a lot of strong fantasy and martial arts elements, but it’s Russell’s faux-John Wayne performance that makes this a truly enjoyable film.

9. From Dusk Til Dawn: Not many people dig this film, but it’s still a fun film. Take the snappy dialogue of any Quentin Tarantino film and combine it with the rock ‘n’ roll violence of a Robert Rodriguez film, add a dash of pre-awesome George Clooney with a whole mess of blood, guts and go-go dancers and you’ve got yourself a damn fine horror film.

10. John Carpenter’s Vampire 2: Los Muertos: Oh my sweet Lord…Jon Bon Jovi as a vampire hunter named Derek Bliss? Yes, this actually did happen! This made for DVD sequel (from the late 90s flick with James Woods) features Jon Bon Jovi kicking vampire ass in Mexico. Along for the ride is Darius Mcrary AKA EDDIE WINSLOW from Family Matters and indie film darling Diego Luna of Y Tu Mama Tambien and Milk fame.

GORE……: 3 / 5
HUMOR…..: 5 / 5
SEX…….: 1 / 5
SPÄNNING..: 3 / 5
VÅLD……: 3 / 5
STORY…..: 4 / 5

SCREENSHOTS

Comme j’adore le mois d’Octobre, l’Halloween et les films d’horreur, j’ai décidé de faire le premier Horreur-o-thon des Bipolaires! En effet, j’écouterai un film de peur par jour jusqu’au 31, alors revenez lire mes critiques quotidiennes…si vous en avez le courage! MOUAHAHAHAAA!

————

Avant Lord of the Rings, Peter Jackson faisait des films d’horreur sanglants et grotesques (Bad Taste, Meet the Feebles), mais je crois que Brain Dead AKA Dead Alive pour les USA les bats haut la main.  Ce film est le summum du gore et du divertissement, un film idéal pour les party d’Halloween.

Lionel est un jeune homme constamment opprimé par sa mère tyrannique et jalouse.  Par contre, lorsque Lionel tombe amoureux d’une belle Italienne, Maman n’est pas contente.  Lors d’un rendez-vous au zoo où Maman espionne Lionel, elle se fait mordre par un spécimen de rat-singe Sumérien, la faisant mourir puis revenir à la vie en zombie indestructible.  Aie-je mentionné que le virus peut se transmettre après une coupure ou morsure? Et aie-je mentionné que Lionel tente tant bien que mal de contrôler les zombies dans son sous-sol?  Aie-je dit que c’est un des films les plus sanglants que j’ai vu dans ma vie?!!

Mais attention! L’hémoglobine (et l’histoire en général) ne se prennent jamais au sérieux et vous vous esclafferez des morts de plus en plus extravagantes.  Têtes coupées passées au Blender, coup de poing à travers la bouche, des centaines de litres de sang et une finale impliquant une tondeuse…Tout pour vous en mettre plein la vue et haut le coeur.  Finalement, l’humour constant à la Evil Dead va parfaitement avec l’atmosphère cartoonesque (un prêtre qui s’improvise Ninaj par exemple) et vous en redemanderez…mais peut-être pas après un gros repas!

Note finale: 9/10

————-

Meilleure citation:

“Your mother ate my dog!”

“Not all of it!”

(Lionel tente de rassurer sa blonde avec peu de succès!)

Meilleure mort: Beaucoup trop de choix! Le dernier 40 minutes est une orgie de mort affreuses.

Y’as-tu des tits?!: Des gros seins de la créature/Maman/Boss de fin de Lionel.

Saviez-vous que…: Plus de 300 litres de faux sang ont été utilisé pour la finale du film, faisant de Brain Dead LE film le plus sanglant de l’histoire.

Five films that definitely go bump in the night

From the gore splattered fright-fests of George A. Romero and Sam Raimi, to the old-school scares of Boris Karloff and Hammer Horror, to the tense, chilling spectacles of Ridley Scott and John Carpenter, cinema has provided us with a formidable array of pant-wetting flicks. I’m not just talking about slasher flicks, but those movies that simply succeed in sending shivers down your spine. Read more at Casual Game Informer.

In an ideal world, reviews of each show would be done completely independently of others, not by making side-by-side comparisons.  However, in the case of the two productions of Evil Dead: The Musical running so close together, that becomes almost impossible.

In last week’s review of Evil Dead: The Musical at the Vogue I panned the music and book of the show.  After seeing the second production of Evil Dead currently playing in Vancouver, I admit that I may have been unduly harsh.

What brought on this sudden change of heart?  Simply put, the Vancouver production was better acted and better sung, and that made all the difference.  Even in a campy musical, with limited character development and a bare-bones plot, acting still matters.

With essentially the same script, lyrics and music, I got an entirely different vibe from the local production.  This version just had way more fun.

Scott Walters as Ash in Down Stage Right Productions' Evil Dead: The Musical.

Scott Walters (We Will Rock You, Mirvish) as Ash hammed it up, giving his eyebrows the workout of their lives with his rapid-fire facial contortions.  Meghan Anderssen (Thoroughly Modern Millie, TUTS) as Ash’s girlfriend Linda and Ian Rozylo as perpetual horndog Scotty both brought personal flourishes to their respective roles.

Local musical-theatre dynamo Jennifer Neumann (Les Misérables, Arts Club) as Ash’s younger sister Cheryl once again brought home the goods.

Meghan Gardiner in the dual-roles of Annie and Shelley was an unfortunately weak link.  Her somewhat wooden take on the ditzy Shelley might have come off as a passable interpretation, except that much of that same stiffness was also present in her portrayal of Annie.

The actors from the second story line were also not as impressive. Matthew Graham’s Ed needed to be reined in and could have benefited from some stronger direction.  Mat Baker (Les Misérables, Arts Club) as good old reliable Jake was also disappointing.  Where most of the other actors seemed to have found a comfortable groove, Baker’s portrayal was harsh and rubbed me the wrong way.

Sylvia Zaradic’s off-stage musical direction was spot-on.  She and the band consisting of Boyd Grealy, Aaron McKinney and Kelly Brown added an extra level of drama missing from their competition over at the Vogue.

Special honours go to set designer John Bessette.  While the other Evil Dead has the use of the original Toronto and off-Broadway set, Bessette’s (presumably lower-budget) design is no cheap knockoff.  In several respects, it actually worked better from a theatrical standpoint.

I did find Ken Overbey’s choreography to be somewhat underdone.  The group dance number “Do the Necronomicon” was anticlimactic and in need of some punching up.

Overall, director Mark Carter has shaped a solid production and has coaxed some life from a show that last week I was ready to toss out.

In some ways, the differences between the two productions are like night and day.  For blood, gore and special effects the Vogue production is the clear-cut winner.  But Down Stage Right Productions has given proof to the old adage that money can’t buy everything.  For pure acting, singing, comedy and heart, Evil Dead at the Norman Rothstein Theatre can’t be beat.

Evil Dead: The Musical, presented by Down Stage Right Productions, plays until November 7, 2009; 8 PM (with additional midnight shows October 30, 31 and November 6) at the Norman Rothstein Theatre, 950 West 41^st Ave (at Oak). Tickets are available online now.

We’ve done our fair share of promoting zombies this month, positioning them as fun for the whole family in the form of our latest game, Zombie Pizza. We even went so far as to publish a roundtable asking if our pop culture has gone too far in taking the horror out of the walking dead. With zombies atop the box office and the best seller lists, it should surprise no one to learn that zombies are just as hot with teens and tweeners as with their developmentally-arrested parents. To zero-in on what makes zombies so damn cool, we went to the source — our resident (almost) teenager, Miles O’Connor.

Miles, the zombie-hunter

The son of Appy co-founder Paul O’Connor, Miles probably never had a chance at a normal life. Burdened by the nerd gene, and raised around videogames all his life, Miles was bound to grow up bent. But even the most ardent supporters of environment over heredity as the determining factor in personality would have to admit that Miles is unusually attracted to horror and the undead, even for someone of his geeky bloodline.

We caught up with Miles after he returned from seeing Zombieland with his old man (who won’t be winning Father of the Year any time soon, we know).

APPY: So, what did you think of Zombieland?

MILES: I’m very happy about it, it was more than I expected and I want to immediately go back and see it again.

APPY: To give us some context, tell us what other zombie pictures you’ve seen.

MILES: The Evil Dead series, Shaun of the Dead, I Am Legend … what else?

APPY: I Am Legend was without approval, by the way. You’ve seen the original Night of the Living Dead. No way would we turn you loose on these deconstructed zombie pictures without first seeing the original.

MILES: Ok, there you go.

APPY: Where does Zombieland rank for you?

MILES: I’d give it a ten out of ten. That was the best. I liked the way they kill zombies in the film. I liked the way he (Tallahassee) opens the car door on the zombie as he drives by, the way they hit zombies with golf clubs.

APPY: Can’t say I remember golf clubs, but if you say so … think was that an homage to Shaun of the Dead getting loose with a cricket bat?

Shaun faces a sticky wicket

(warning … Shaun of the Dead spoilers follow below)

MILES: It reminded me of Shaun. They obviously watched Shaun along with a couple other movies before they started directing.

APPY: This zombie business obviously isn’t scaring you … in the picture today, you were squirming and cheering like you were on a thrill ride. What is it about zombies that you find so fun?

MILES: I like the panic that they spread to people, and the way they act … the chasing and they won’t stop unless given a sudden blow to the head.

APPY: Why, you little … in our day, blows to the head were confined to the Three Stooges. Don’t you feel bad when zombies get killed? They used to be people.

MILES: Nah. I’d feel bad if it was an innocent person getting killed in the middle of changing into a zombie, but once they go bad, I like watching them get hurt.

APPY: Do they really get hurt?

MILES: No I don’t think so. Zombies don’t really feel anything.

APPY: Ever seen a zombie that seemed to have feelings?

MILES: Well, I don’t think I’ve seen any zombie movies where they build up a zombie relationship.

APPY: I guess you haven’t seen Day of the Dead yet –

MILES: You won’t let me!

Bub, from Day of the Dead … a thinking man’s zombie

APPY: — you’re not missing much, it’s not Master Romero’s strongest film — but in that picture, “Bub” definitely has feelings. What about Shaun of the Dead’s friend? At the end of the picture?

MILES: Yeah, that changes my feelings.

APPY: What’s different?

MILES: It’s because they build up a relationship between Shaun and Ed, but the joke is when he’s a zombie, he still acts the same as when he was alive.

APPY: I think the subtext of Shaun of the Dead is that we’re all zombies. Shaun’s life before the zombie attack was a kind of living death, to be sure. But for all that it was comedic, Shaun of the Dead has some dark, dark moments. Didn’t you feel bad when Shaun’s mother turned undead?

MILES: Of course I feel bad, I feel bad for when she turns and when she gets shot, but if she was out in the zombie crowd for an hour and then she came back I wouldn’t feel bad becaushe she’s a zombie already. Like when Pete, Shaun’s roomate changes, you don’t mind, it’s fun when he gets shot.

APPY: Now wait a second. We build up a relationship with Pete just like we do with Shaun’s mother. Why is it funny to see him change, but not funny when the mother changes?

MILES: Pete’s sort of yells at Shaun and criticizes him, so I guess that when he gets shot, he’s the guy that’s always chattermouthing, so it’s kind of fun. When he dies you’re kind of relieved.

APPY: Remind us to point your future college roommate toward this blog.

APPY: All right, let’s talk about Left 4 Dead. When we saw this game rolling out at PAX last year, it looked like a sharp little zombie shooter, but we had no idea it would become a daily obsession for you. Don’t you feel the slightest bit of remorse gunning down all those people?

MILES: I don’t feel bad for them because it’s a video game. The zombies look really great, but if you look carefully, some of them are the same. I don’t feel bad about it in Left 4 Dead because you never knew those people before they turned. I wish you could have your survivors turn undead when they die, but they didn’t do that in the game, which is why I curse them. I guess I should write a letter.

APPY: You just did. But it isn’t just zombie games where you kill lots of people. You’ve blasted a whole Reich’s-worth of Nazis to death in Call of Duty.

MILES: They do terrible things, don’t they deserve it?

APPY: You tell me. What’s the dividing line?

MILES: In a game like Grand Theft Auto, you’re just killing random people.

APPY: You’ve never played Grand Theft Auto.

MILES: I’ve played Crackdown, that’s about the same. And Destroy All Humans. I kind of feel bad because you’re electrifying people in that game, but they obviously don’t want you to feel bad for killing humans. When there are only three kinds of humans and they all look the same, you don’t feel bad for them when they die.

APPY: Is it a question of identity?

MILES: In a video game, they don’t have personality. They’re just zombies, they’re all the same, they all think the same way.

APPY: By the way, which is your favorite zombie videogame — Left 4 Dead or Zombie Pizza?

Zombie Pizza, for iPhone & iPod Touch

MILES: Left 4 Dead.

APPY: You little bastard. Zombie Pizza puts food on your table!

MILES: You taught me not to lie, Dad.

APPY: We’re not “Dad” here, remember? It’s Appy!

Miles, the zombie … with a shirt from Nightshade

APPY: What are the essential elements of a zombie movie?

MILES: Terror, in every zombie movie, but they didn’t really have that in Zombieland. The intense feeling of the zombies being outside and you can’t escape from wherever you are, zombies banging on the window and coming through the door. The intense feeling that you’re not immune to the infection so you can be infected that easily. You feel threatened by the thought that just being scratched can make you change.

APPY: Do you worry about changing into something or getting sick?

MILES: If I get the flu or something I’m happy because I get to stay home from school. But I don’t think there’s a z-virus out there yet.

APPY: Let’s talk about how zombie movies have changed. What do you remember about Night of the Living Dead?

MILES: I remember conflict.

APPY: What kind?

MILES: Arguments. The people were arguing. Didn’t have those kind of arguments in Zombieland, it was a little more about the zombies.

APPY: George Romero always used his zombie movies to tell us something about ourselves, and our attitudes toward each other. His movies are about how close we are to a total breakdown in civilization.

MILES: That’s like the message, right?

APPY: What’s the message of these new movies, like Shaun of the Dead or Zombieland?

MILES: Shaun was practically a human zombie until he had to start fighting them. The meaning of Zombieland … probably, I’m guessing, I don’t know, was there a message of Zombieland or was it just a movie?

APPY: Wasn’t it about trust and family and love? Appreciating the little things?

MILES: Yeah, in Zombieland they learn to trust each other.

APPY: What about consumerism? The need for things, the owning of things? Is this part of any of these films?

MILES: Twinkies. Yeah, Twinkies.

Twinkies … the ultimate treasure of Zombieland

APPY: Well, not quite what we were thinking. At one point in Zombieland, they’re in this expensive mansion full of cool stuff, but they just leave it. They also bust up a trading post full of stuff.

MILES: They decided they just needed to, they were probably stressed. Sometimes tipping things over can be fun.

APPY: But don’t people spend all their time trying to get those things?

MILES: Things they don’t need, yeah.

APPY: How about Dawn of the Dead? The heroes hole up in a shopping mall full of the things they most wanted when they were alive, but now …

MILES: Can I see Dawn of the Dead? I really want to see that.

APPY: No, not yet.

Dawn of the Dead told us what we already knew — shopping malls are full of zombies

APPY: So do zombie movies somehow ask us what it means to be human? Just being alive, being hungry, wanting things … is that what’s important in life? Because sometimes it seems that’s all we do. But when the apocalypse comes, it doesn’t mean anything any more.

MILES: It’s time to let go of all that and just survive. It probably means take what you need, don’t take what you want.

APPY: Maybe we don’t need the end of the world to decide that makes sense, right?

MILES: I guess.

APPY: So these new zombie movies almost make it seem fun to survive the end of the world?

MILES: Yes, it looks like a lot of fun. I’d love to just go and whack zombies, that would be fun.

cutting loose in Zombieland

MILES: They don’t treat it seriously. They were just trying to have fun and that’s why I liked it.

APPY: But what about the infection and the loved ones turning and the fear and the mass deaths?

MILES: You think too much, Dad. Lighten up, it’s not like Zombie Pizza is some big serious zombie game you know.

APPY: Go to bed, Miles!

1. The Misfits – Halloween
2. Dawn of the Dead Soundclip
3. Does It Offend You, Yeah? – Dawn of the Dead
4. AFI – Fall Children
5. Army of Darkness Soundclip #1
6. Bloc Party – Hunting For Witches
7. Joy Division – Dead Souls
8. Night Of The Living Dead Soundclip
9. We Bite (Misfits Cover) (Honestly don’t know who this is)
10. Army of Darkness Soundclip #2
11. Poison The Well – Zombies Are Good For Your Health
12. Army of Darkness Soundclip #3
13. Samhain – Halloween II
14. Hammock – Dawn Begins To Creep
15. The Lost Boys Soundclip
16. Gerard McMann – Cry Little Sister (Theme From The Lost Boys)
17. Ramones – Pet Sematary
18. The Shining Soundclip
19. Rockwell – Somebody’s Watching Me
20. Ghostbusters Soundclip
21. Rocky Horror Picture Show Soundtrack – The Time Warp
22. Danny Elfman – This Is Halloween
23. Army of Darkness Soundclip #4
24. Echo & The Bunnymen – People Are Strange (The Doors Cover)
25. The Rolling Stones – Paint It Black

DOWNLOAD

Happy Halloween ;]

Well.

It is officially Halloween Eve-Eve-Day. Can ya FEEL IT?!?

Halloween has always held a special place in my heart. I’m not “goth” by any means, but a holiday based around the macabre warms my heart for some reason. I love the supernatural. I love that “other world” that rests just slightly to the left of ours, here, but not here – yet always in danger of letting something loose into our dimension…something different, something Not Quite Right. Shapes and creatures that shift and ripple, always staying just out of focus to to the human eye – because if they ever did come into focus, the mere sight of them would loosen your mind from whatever moorings held it in it’s place, sending it floating away like a boy in a balloon (topical!), while blood poured from your nose and your hair turned to white.

I love scaring people and being scared. I love horror movies. The gorier the better. The gruesomer the better. I don’t know why – maybe I’m morbid. Maybe I’m not. Because I’m not alone in my love for these films. And the more violent and ridiculously over-the-top, the better.

It’s schlock. It’s camp. It’s not real.

And it’s fun. Key-word, there. FUN.

What does Christmas have, after all? Family? Reindeer? Goodwill towards men?

Psssh. Give me Bruce Campbell cutting down hordes of the undead with an arm made out of a chainsaw anyday. Give me corny one-liners from Freddy Krueger as he tears some kid apart with one clawed hand. Pumpkin pie? Give me Pumpkinhead. Freshly fallen snow? I’ll take an extra dose of freshly spilled blood, please. (Created by a special effects team with just the right amount of corn syrup and food dye, of course.)

Let’s revel in madness for a bit…and, just to make sure you can make your way back, let’s throw in some good old fashioned laughs with that good old fashioned terror while we’re at it.

Here’s a rundown of yesterdays bottom six:

10. The Frighteners. (1996)

Michael J. Fox sees ghosts for fun and profit – until things, inevitably, go horribly wrong. Jeffrey Coombs shows up briefly, but memorably, to be awesome.

9. Dead Alive (Brain Dead). (1992)

Peter Jackson gives us a heaping helping of over-the-top, ridiculous, gory camp. And god bless him for it.

8. Beetlejuice. (1988)

Michael Keaton steals the show from Tim Burton, and just about everyone else, in this goofy supernatural comedy.

7. Return of the Living Dead. (1985)

Zombies head off in search of brains – with hilarious results!

6. Re-Animator. (1985)

Jeffrey Coombs is back to raise hell, and the dead, in this Lovecraftian horror. With hilarious results!

5. Shaun of the Dead. (2004)

Two slackers take on the zombie apocalypse in this very funny, very, original, very British film

And now…let’s get bloodier! (But we’ll play if for laughs, so it’s totally okay.)

Four: An American Werewolf in London. (1981)

John Landis, the used-to-be brilliant comedy director of such classics as “The Blues Brothers” and “Animal House”, tackles the horror genre – and brings some laughs with him. Griffin Dunne and David Naughton star as Jack and David, two Americans lost in the English countryside, who disbelieve the frightened townspeoples warnings about full moons and werewolves until it’s to late.

A funny movie, with great performances from the two leads, sure…but the real star here is Rick Baker’s Acadamy Award winning make-up work. David’s initial transformation from uncouth American to uncouth-er werewolf is a treat to behold. Keep in mind, this was before the advent of CGI, and long before that technology was allowed to run amuck – much like the werewolf in this movie. Practical effects are where it’s at, folks, and ths movie is a wonderful showcase for them. And, soon, I’m sure these classic films will be the only place we can still witness those effects.

Three: Evil Dead 2. (1987)

Ash is back, baby. And this time – it’s personal.

Part sequel, part remake, “The Evil Dead 2″ is a genuine cult favorite – and for good reason. It’s bizarre, gory, hyperkinetic, and, perhaps more importantly, slapsticky enough to resemble a Three Stooges film…and all thanks to the genius of writer/director Sam Raimi. His style is original, his ideas, batshit crazy. From Ash’s prolonged battle with his own severed hand, to his eventual prosthetic replacement (a chainsaw), this movie showcases some truly unique sight gags and visual stimuli.

Which is all very well in good. Yeah, it’s original. Yeah, it’s over-the-top funny. Yeah, a chick gets raped by a tree. But we all know there’s more to this movie’s charm than that. Precisely One Thing More.

Bruce Campbell.

If schlock horror B-movies had a chiseled, heavily chinned face – it would be the face of that man. Bruce. Campbell.

The dude is the greatest living embodiment of B-movie horror greatness, and the Evil Dead films were the perfect outlet for him to perfect his cult idol status. And he damn well knows it. And relishes it.

If you haven’t seen any of the Evil Dead films, you are missing out.

Two: Young Frankenstein. (1974)

Gene Wilder might just be the greatest comedic genius of all time. There. I said it. And this movie certainly supports that statement.

Along with co-writing the script with comedy legend Mel Brooks, Wilder stars as Dr. Frederick Frankenstein – who, despite being a member of the dreaded Frankenstein clan, really has no interest in reviving dead tissue, thank you very much.

But when a solicitor arrives with news of his inheritance (his family’s estate), the old Frankenstein spirit resurfaces, and he resumes his families morbid business with zeal – aided by his two new assistants, the lovely Inga (Teri Garr) and the bizarre Igor (Marty Feldman.)

The cast is fantastic. The aforementioned Wilder, Garr and Feldman hit all the right notes, and Cloris Leachman and Peter Boyle as the Monster only add to the lunacy. Throw in Kenneth Mars as the ridiculous Inspector Kemp, and an unexpected cameo by Gene Hackman as a blind hermit, and you’ve got one of the most perfect casts every assembled for a comedy movie (the number one movie on this list has an equally impressive cast.)

The jokes come fast and furious, spoofing Universal horror movies, musicals and even (at least then) current events at a breakneck pace, all while leisurely circling this absurd cast of characters.

While not particularly frightening, it’s one of the most impressive comedies I’ve ever seen, and will always remain a favorite. Mel Brooks may not be the genius he once was, but this is a prime example of him, and Wilder, at the top of their game.

One: Ghostbusters. (1984)

What else?

“Ghostbusters” changed my life. I’m dead serious. This movie stands out as a landmark to me. As a film enthusist, as a comedian, as a writer, as a goddamn human being – this is it. This is the big one.

“Ghostbusters” is a nearly flawless film.

The cast is unbelievable. Bill Murray, Dan Ayckroyd, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis…it’s like a who’s who of comedy elite. Throw in some Sigourney Weaver, some Ernie Hudson, and some William Atherton (who would make a very fine living in the ’80s playing assholes) to round out the cast, and you’re golden.

The music, the writing, the ghosts. Again, no reliance on CGI. And they still look great. The Staypuft Marshmallow Man – iconic. The lines…Murray’s ad-libbing is ridiculous, gelling well with the script, and the other actors. Venkman, Stantz, Spengler, Zeddemore…names that will live in infamy forever. These guys are the real deal. Real dudes fighting ghosts. Wearing volleyball pads on their elbows and sporting equipment that is untested and designed by themselves. Brilliant.

Scary? No. Hilarious? Always. The movie still holds up to this day. None of it seems dated in the slightest (alright, maybe the dog-demons at the end look kind of sketchy). The cast has amazing chemistry, and bounce off each other like pros. (Which, I guess, they were.)

This is one of my all time favorite movies…definitely one of my top comedies of all time, and clearly, my favorite comedy horror of all time.

Who you gonna call?

Well.

There you have it. Agree, disagree? Let me know. There’s a lot out there, for sure. In fact, here’s some more Honorable Mentions:

Arachnophobia. (1990)

Gremlins. (1987)

Army of Darkness. (1992)

Tremors. (1990)

So that’s it for me this week – and until Monday…

Happy Halloween, from the Tabby-ban!

*cue spooky laughter.*

Pretty scary, eh?

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