When I woke up this morning, my hand brushed something as I shut off my alarm.  It was a note from my two teenagers:  ”Here’s a little something to brighten your day.  We know it has been hard, but we all love you!  We are so proud of you for rising to the challenge and living what you have taught us!” I think March 18 is on everyone’s minds.  (And I promise, I don’t walk around talking about it with my kids.  Hmm…I wonder if they have discovered this blog?:)

Anyway, life didn’t turn out QUITE as I expected it to.  Here’s why.

Last March 18 I dropped my three-year-old off at preschool.  I had a plan for the 2-3 hours he was going to be gone.  And then my spouse called me on my cell phone.  ”What are you doing this morning?” he asked.

I told him my plan and he told me he had hoped to spend time with me.  I invited him to join me doing what I had planned.  He told me he didn’t have that much time.  I asked him how much time he needed, he told me (it was the same amount of time it would have taken to do my activity, and when I pointed that out he told me he wasn’t going to do that activity with me.)  So like the flexible, kind wife that supported all of his dreams that I’d always tried to be, I turned the car around and headed home to spend time with him.  I had no idea I was turning around so he could destroy all of my dreams.

Before I reached home, he called my cell phone again and asked me to meet him in the motor home.  He loved that thing.  (I hated it, had never wanted it, but had supported him in that dream as well.) Looking back, it was probably a bit odd for him to request I meet him there.  But then again, I had no idea what was about to go down.

Everything.

I walked in and he was talking on the phone to someone.  (Not unusual.  He had spent his days and nights calling clients and putting business deals together our entire marriage.) I sat at the table, waited for him to finish his phone call, and happened to glance to the left where I saw a yellow legal pad with names written on it:  Market Street Advisors, C.G.Boerner, Majestic Mountain Construction and Impressions Everlasting.  The only thing I knew about anything on that list was that they were my spouse’s business ventures.  I didn’t have anything to do with them.  I figured he’d been doodling or making one of the endless lists he was famous for writing down on yellow legal pads.  I was wrong.

He hung up the phone, sat across the table from me, folded his hands together on the tabletop and paused.  I looked at the legal pad, slid it across the table to him, and asked, “What’s this?”

He replied, “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”  In a voice as calm and unemotional as I’d ever witnessed.  Nothing about his performance tipped me off as to what was about to happen.

Turns out, that yellow legal pad was a list, but only the beginning, of the lies I didn’t know he had been telling me and everyone else…for over 16 years.

It’s still not quite real.  The fall out is, of course.  But everything else STILL doesn’t seem real. And without warning, I found out everything I thought was real, actually wasn’t.

“My company, Market Street Advisors, is a sham.”

One simple sentence, and the complicated web of choices, actions and decisions of ONE person, the man I’d known since 1988 but apparently hadn’t known at all, shattered my world.

March 18, 2009.

But I didn’t get it.  Yet.

I know it showed in my face.  I didn’t have a clue what he was telling me.  My first thought (always a party or holiday thought at that stage of my life!) was, “Is this an early April Fool’s joke?  Doesn’t he remember yesterday was St. Patrick’s Day? Boy, does he have his dates wrong!  What kind of joke is he trying to play?” All I could do was look at him with a puzzled expression on my face.

Suddenly,  in spite of my education and my knowledge of English and vocabulary, I didn’t understand the word “sham.”

He explained, “My company isn’t real.  It’s a sham, and has been from the very beginning. I’ve been running a ponzi scheme for the past 16 years.”

I didn’t know what a ponzi scheme was.

I’d heard mention of  a ponzi scheme on the news, I’d heard the name Bernie Madoff, I knew he had done something illegal, I knew a lot of people were mad at him and what he had done, but I didn’t understand what it was he, or my spouse, had done.

I got the condensed version.  What I was told left me in complete and utter shock.  But it didn’t stop there.

My spouse told me he had hired an attorney (that was the day he got dressed up and “went to meet a prospective client” downtown, came home, had dinner with the family, had family home evening with the family, and had family scripture study and family prayer with the family.)  He told me he had already turned himself in to the government authorities and to our church leaders (that was the night he missed dinner to meet with a church leader and then came home and watched American Idol with us, as usual.)  He told me  he would be going to prison and getting excommunicated from our church.  He also told me everything had been seized (I didn’t know what that meant but was too shocked to ask–he was still talking.) He told me I would be left alone to raise our children.  And he told me I needed to hire an attorney right away but he’d maxed out all of our credit cards paying for his.

I was shocked.  I was stunned.   I was confused.  I was scared.  I was devastated.  And at the same time, I didn’t know what I thought or felt.

All I knew was that I had been thrown out of an airplane…without a parachute.

What was I going to do?

¹ Finally, brethren, pray for us, that the word of the Lord may run swiftly and be glorified, just as it is with you, ² and that we may be delivered from unreasonable and wicked men; for not all have faith.
³ But the Lord is faithful, who will establish you and guard you from the evil one. ⁴ And we have confidence in the Lord concerning you, both that you do and will do the things we command you.
⁵ Now may the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the patience of Christ.

There are two things that I want to look at here:

1. We are to pray that the Word of God would spread rapidly and that ministers would be delivered from enemies of the gospel (vv. 1,2)
2. God is faithful to strengthen us and protect us from Satan (v. 3).

The second section consists of verses 6-15, which read:

⁶ But we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you withdraw from every brother who walks disorderly and not according to the tradition which he received from us. ⁷ For you yourselves know how you ought to follow us, for we were not disorderly among you; ⁸ nor did we eat anyone’s bread free of charge, but worked with labor and toil night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, ⁹ not because we do not have authority, but to make ourselves an example of how you should follow us.
¹⁰ For even when we were with you, we commanded you this: If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat. ¹¹ For we hear that there are some who walk among you in a disorderly manner, not working at all, but are busybodies. ¹² Now those who are such we command and exhort through our Lord Jesus Christ that they work in quietness and eat their own bread.
¹³ But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary in doing good. ¹⁴ And if anyone does not obey our word in this epistle, note that person and do not keep company with him, that he may be ashamed. ¹⁵ Yet do not count him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.

There are three things that I want to look at here:

1. Paul gives a warning against idleness.  If we have the ability to work, we should not be idle, but instead we should work to the best of our ability and earn our own living rather than leech off of others (vv. 8-12).
2. The Thessalonian believers were tired of supporting the lazy, so they were prepared to cut off all charity.  Paul reminded them to “not grow weary in doing good,” that is, to continue to give help to those who were truly needy.  The same goes with us.  We should never stop being charitable (v. 13).
3. Paul explains how church discipline should work.  A continually disobedient Christian should be excommunicated so that perhaps he might come to repentance.  This excommunication is not final rejection; the one being disciplined is still a brother in Christ, so this is all to be done in love (vv. 14,15).

The final section consists of verses 16-18, which read:

¹⁶ Now may the Lord of peace Himself give you peace always in every way. The Lord be with you all.
¹⁷ The salutation of Paul with my own hand, which is a sign in every epistle; so I write.
¹⁸ The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen.

Paul desired grace and peace from God for the Thessalonians.  We should desire the same for ourselves and for others.

OMG!  What exactly is my Lady Fat-Loss Leader talking about tonight?  Is there an orgy planned?  My, my; that would be interesting – among the ocean (no offense, ladies) of women, only three men were present!  At the orgy, would there be a guy jumping out of a cake?  No, not likely at an official weight-loss support group meeting; maybe at a private party, but never here.

As usual, I was seven minutes late to my evening meeting plus I parked at the far corner (see http://southofmoosejaw.wordpress.com/2010/02/17/being-fat-in-restaurants/ blog) of the parking lot, as far as possible from the meeting room door.  No, I haven’t been excommunicated from my fat-loss group; the exercise is needed, especially for obese diabetics (FYI: not all diabetics are fat, so don’t equate the two).

Speaking of an orgy, that was what happened to me last week, all last week.  Here’s how it happened.

The orgy began fifteen minutes after I walked out the door of last week’s meeting.  That’s how long it took me to drive to “the place.”  You see, last week I reached a milestone:  I lost my first ten pounds; that was exciting!  So, what did I do about it?  How did I choose to celebrate?

I walked all the way across the parking lot, got into my car and drove to the food store.  My plan was to pick up a few things for my lunch for the rest of the week.  BUT, I turned my weight-loss celebration into a weight-gain orgy!  I could not (in truth, I CHOSE not to) resist the fresh baked goodies, the fragrant warm breads, the potato salad, and the fried chicken, all so conveniently found in the deli.

So, the entire week was one food orgy after another.  After the comforting bread and fried chicken “came” (the word implies that I was only passively involved in these eating binges, as in sitting on the beach and picking up driftwood to feed the fire upon which the grilled lobster sizzles) the submarine sandwich loaded with the meats & cheeses & and sauces, another grilled chicken with the trimmings, some pork chops with peppers & potatoes, brownies, raisin-oatmeal cookies, and on and on each day last week.

Result:  I gained weight this week.  I didn’t gain all ten pounds back, but enough to self disgust.  At tonight’s weigh in, I had no clever way to stop the scale from growing larger.  The scale told me the truth about last week’s food binges.

The difficult struggles of losing my first ten pounds were lost – I tossed it away just like one might discard a snotted Kleenex.

What was I thinking?  Do I enjoy disrespecting my self?  My health?  My longevity?  That initial weight loss goal was two months in the making; two hard months of self discipline, of saying “No!” to sugar cookies, cakes, French fries, red wine, chocolate chip cookies, pies, lots of ketchup, peanut butter cookies, a double cheeseburger loaded, chilled Molson lager, mint chocolate chip ice cream, and pumpkin chocolate chip cookies.  You get the picture.  And in one week, I gained back some, not all, of the weight.  What am I doing to myself?

I lost weight after being fairly disciplined for two months; I binged for a week and gained weight back.  Why did I celebrate my weight loss by eating?  Am I purposefully driving myself into depression?  What terrible choices I made last week.

I am actually very glad for that weekly scale – I apologize for wanting to sabotage it (see http://southofmoosejaw.wordpress.com/2010/01/29/being-fat/ blog); I pledge to immediately cease research and development on my sonic wave gun that will cause the weigh-in scale to read a lower number.  Facing one’s behavior has its lessons – I will explore these in a future blog.

“I’ve been married 48 years and my husband and I don’t behave the same way we did on our honeymoon,” revealed my Lady Support Group Leader (I am paraphrasing).  “That’s where we are in our weight loss.  Many of you joined our group two months ago and now the weight loss honeymoon is over.  Your meals have become blah, blah, blah dull,” she continued.  “You eat the same things for breakfast, there’s no variety in your lunch, especially if you brown bag it for work, and your supper meal planning isn’t creative.”

She was right – my meals were getting far too routine.  And very boring.

“Get that thrill back!  It’s exciting to be here each week!  It’s thrilling to lose weight!  Last week, we all together lost 90 lbs!  Tonight it’s a grand total of 60 lbs!  That’s an awesome accomplishment!  Celebrate those victories!”

We celebrated each other’s weight loss with raucous applause!  I shamefully held my head down; I wasn’t part of the weight-loss team this week.  I was a gainer.

“Plan some excitement in your meals!  This week’s newsletter describes some bright, different, colorful, flavorful and downright exciting ways to ‘spice up’ your boring meals,” she concluded.

“If your meals are boring, your body is bored.  If your body is bored, your mind is bored.  A bored mind may lead you to temptations, temptations such as a huge cake, or a Canadian Club.”

OMG!  Not a Canadian Club!  The filling in the cake might, however, prove interesting.

I am definitely not bored “South of Moose Jaw”

smj

Outline:

III. Practical: The Privileges of Justification (5:1-6:18)
D. Freedom from Spiritual Bondage (6:1-10)
E. Conclusion (6:11-18)

Let’s start with verse 1:

Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.

If we catch a fellow believer sinning, it is our duty to “restore” or correct him or her.  How should this be done?  Matthew 18:15-17 outlines this process of restoration:

¹⁵ “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. ¹⁶ But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’ ¹⁷ And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.

Restoration is a four-step process consisting of the following:

1. Tell the person his fault in private
2. If he does not repent, take one or two other people along to tell him his fault again
3. If he still does not repent, take the matter in front of the whole church.
4. If remains unrepentant, then he should be excommunicated and be regarded as if he was “a heathen” or “a tax collector,” or in other words, as if he was not a brother.

Now let’s move on to verses 6-10:

⁶ Let him who is taught the word share in all good things with him who teaches.
⁷ Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. ⁸ For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. ⁹ And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. ¹⁰ Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.

Since I think he did such a good job commentating on these verses, here is what Matthew Henry wrote:

Many excuse themselves from the work of religion, though they may make a show, and profess it. They may impose upon others, yet they deceive themselves if they think to impose upon God, who knows their hearts as well as actions; and as he cannot be deceived, so he will not be mocked. Our present time is seed time; in the other world we shall reap as we sow now. As there are two sorts of sowing, one to the flesh, and the other to the Spirit, so will the reckoning be hereafter. Those who live a carnal, sensual life, must expect no other fruit from such a course than misery and ruin. But those who, under the guidance and influences of the Holy Spirit, live a life of faith in Christ, and abound in Christian graces, shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. We are all very apt to tire in duty, particularly in doing good. This we should carefully watch and guard against. Only to perseverance in well-doing is the reward promised. Here is an exhortation to all to do good in their places. We should take care to do good in our life-time, and make this the business of our lives. Especially when fresh occasions offer, and as far as our power reaches. (Matthew Henry’s Commentary)

I conclude this post by looking at verse 14:

But God forbid that I should boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.

I found an excellent resource from John Piper on this verse, so instead of writing about the verse myself, I will link to the resource and encourage you to check it out:

Boasting Only in the Cross

Canon Law Regarding Catholics and Abortion:

“Canon Law 1398 Catholics who have obtained an abortion, or performed an abortion, have excommunicated themselves latae sententiae (automatically by their very action) from the Catholic Church. They remain outside the church until the reception of the sacrament of Penance through a good confession.

“Canon Law 1329 Catholics who are accomplices in enabling and permitting the crime of abortion to occur, who without their assistance the crime would not have been committed, incur the same penalty.

“Canon Law 915 (an exception to receiving Holy Communion) “Others who obstinately persist in manifest grave sin are not to be admitted to Holy Communion.”

All bishops should follow their own Canon Law concerning their constituency and the abortion atrocity.

Roman Catholic Bishop Thomas Tobin sets the morally correct standard. He refused Patrick Kennedy the sacrament in Rhode Island.

Kennedy’s endorsement of child killing is abhorrent to God. It is abhorrent to the Roman Catholic ethical understanding of Scripture—the inerrant, infallible Word of God.

Kennedy favors killing womb infants. That is called “murder.” Female rights have no right to murder.

Therefore, the devil is in the process when mortals slay mortals who are in female bodies. That is not only how Tobin sees it; that is the way biblical believers understand divine revelation.

TV’s The View Whoopie Goldberg had a field day this morning when it came to her understanding of what the church does with its constituency’s views of right and wrong. With that, she went on her evangelistic diatribe about her understanding of Scripture.

She concludes that the Bible allows a human to do what he or she wants to do as long it is in keeping with that individual’s personal communication with God—no interference from churchly organizations or spiritual leaders.

On one part, she is accurate: a mortal can communicate with God and is served the consequences of that via accountability from that God.

But on the other part, she is so wrong. The God of the Bible does not have various moral codes for various persons depending on what they say they “hear” from God. God’s biblical standard is there as an eternal verity; it is not waffling to left or right, up or down.

Whoopie always has a good old time of it when trying to make deity out to be a Nice Guy on everything from communion altars to sex. In that she makes a lot of viewing friends for they likewise serve a deity who is totally into relativism, discounting absolutes.

However, Tobin is in line with the true understanding of Scripture when he holds the line on not permitting those who claim to be “Christian” yet murder to have Communion. They in no way have the ethical right to partake of the body and blood of Christ. That is atrocious in itself.

Think about it: Did Savior Christ suffer severe mistreatment on the cross in order to share His body and blood with persons who slay children? I don’t think so.

Did Christ stretch His holy presence on Calvary, permit nails to be driven through His hands and feet, then endure the spear slice in His side to allow pious appearing church goers the honor to partake of the sacrament representing that redemptive offering?  I don’t think so.

Did Christ anywhere in His public ministry ever teach that slaughtering womb innocents is okay if it is not in a person’s life plan?  I don’t think so.

Would to God that more clergy kept the same biblical standard that Tobin keeps. All spiritual leaders in the Christian tradition should obey God, His moral base and instruct those under their care to do the same.

“Sorry, you can’t chalk it up to an ‘imperfect humanity.’ Your position is unacceptable to the Church and scandalous to many of our members,” Tobin told Kennedy.

Stay the holy course, Tobin. Stay the holy course.

FOOTNOTE:

The Bible speaks of a fetus as a person, not simply tissue that can be discarded if found to be a bother or nuisance. Since the fetus is a person from the moment of conception, then the destroying of the fetus is killing a person.

“In the past, some people have mistakenly speculated that perhaps the body might be in the process of formation for some time, and then ‘God breathes a soul into it.’ They had it backward. The life that is present forms matter into a body for itself’” (Joseph Breig, “Life Forms Matter,” The Catholic News, Jan. 24, 1974, p. 8).

“Your hands shaped me and made me. Will you now turn and destroy me? Remember that you molded me like clay. Will you now turn me to dust again? Did you not pour me out like milk … and knit me together with bones and sinews? You gave me life and showed me kindness, and in your providence watched over my spirit” (Job 10:8-12 NIV).

“Before I was born the LORD called me; from my birth he has made mention of my name…and now the LORD says–he who formed me in the womb to be his servant…” (Isaiah 49:1, 5).

“The word of the LORD came to me, saying, ‘Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations’” (Jeremiah 1:4-5).

In the following passages we note that personality is ascribed to the unborn.

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that fully well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be” (Psalm 139:13-16).

“Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him” (Psalm 127:3).

Exodus 21:22-25 relates how Israel was to judge a circumstance relating to the death of the unborn:

“If men who are fighting hit a pregnant woman and she gives birth prematurely but there is no serious injury, the offender must be fined whatever the woman’s husband demands and the court allows. But if there is serious injury, you are to take life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, wound for wound, bruise for bruise.”

All of the latter deals with unintentional hurt that comes to a pregnant woman; how much more will divine penalty come upon those who intentionally discard the fetus? The Gospel of Luke ascribes personality to the fetus within Elizabeth:

“When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit… As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy” (1:41, 44).

Mere tissue does not leap for joy; only personhood leaps for joy. The Bible regards the fetus as having personality. In Galatians, Paul speaks of himself as a person while still in his mother’s womb, but more a person consecrated by God for a holy mission (compare Jeremiah 1:5 for the same accent):

“But when God, who set me apart from birth, and called me by his grace, was pleased to reveal his Son in me so that I might preach him among the Gentiles…” (Gal. 1: 15-16).

Since the Bible regards the fetus as personality, then the aborting of the fetus is murdering personality.

Some verses from Scripture dealing with murder are then appropriate for study, such as Genesis 9:6: “Whoever sheds the blood of man, by man shall his blood be shed; for in the image of God has God made man.” Also, read Exodus 23:7: “Have nothing to do with a false charge, and do not put an innocent or honest person to death, for I will not acquit the guilty.” Note I Peter 4:15: “If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer…”

If the Republic returned to the biblical definition of personhood, we would defend every womb child.

John Adams said the following:

“Our Constitution was made only for a religious and moral people. It is wholly inadequate for the government of any other.”

Andrew Jackson said the following:

“The BIBLE is the rock on which our Republic rests.”

Daniel Webster:

“If we abide by the principles taught in the BIBLE, our country will go on prospering.”

“For all the talk of freedom and self-determination, the abortion movement is at its heart a movement denying rights to a silent segment of humanity and soliciting public sanction, support and subsidy to its own cause” (Donald P. Shoemaker, ABORTION, THE BIBLE AND THE CHRISTIAN, Hayes Publishing Co., 1976, p. iv).

• Played before the congregation is the video clip of  Willy Santiago and cohorts’ attempt to intrude the locale in Singapore during the gathering of  the brethren for Thanksgiving. His purpose was to look for his wife who runaway from him. The wife, Sis. Jane testified the cruelty that Willy did to her when they were together. Willy’s team accused the members of destroying a family by keeping his wife away from him when in fact it was his own family who has a record of destroying a family. The video clip of testimonial of a member whose wife was the one that Ber Santiago took away was played before the congregation. Ber is excommunicated from the Church long before Willy for living a filthy way of life  and ultimately for adultery.

• Almost 200 souls received baptism from Cotabato Provincial Jail, Siargao Island, Isabela and Apalit, Pampanga in the Philippines and in South America within this week.

- Notes from 11.14.09 TG

I have lost some of my family due to certain religious beliefs. I have spent the last 8 years trying to convince myself that someday they would come around and see past their judgement and accept me into their hearts again, but I have finally realized that will never happen. This is a sobering revelation, and has cut me to the core, but in the end they are the ones who are suffering the greatest. I guess this is what hurts me the most, since I do still love them very much.

I was raised in a strict religious environment and I am thankful for it. It taught me to overcome adversity and remain strong throughout various trials and tribulations. It taught me to be bold and courageous. It taught me to love with my whole heart, soul, and mind. Nevertheless, it also taught me to feel as if I were somewhat exhaulted above others because of my beliefs. In no way did that ever come out literally, but every teaching had a thick undertone of self-righteousness and stern judgement. I worshipped out of fear. Fear of death. Fear of loss. Fear of abandonment.

I made a mistake, like all humans do, and was condemned from the church. In turn, part of my family condemned me as well. At first I thought I understood why and I made excuses for them. I explained verbosely how they had excommunicated me out of love and sincerity, not malice or judgement.

I was told by the church I could lift my “disfellowshipped” cloak by repenting.

“I have repented. I married the man I love and I am now living a clean life. I pray every day and I know in my heart that God has forgiven me,” I would explain.

“No, no. You must come to the church regularly and then write a letter to the elders of the church. When they feel as if you have repented, they will pray and lift your scorn.” This would be their repetitive answer, and I didn’t agree with it. I started to feel heavy with guilt for questioning this process. You see, when you are taught something your entire life, from the time you were born, it makes it virtually impossible to undo that belief. If you no longer believe something to be true which was always considered gospel, then what else can you depend on? What is reliable? What is the truth?

I didn’t want a group of imperfect men to be responsible for my standing with God and the condition of my heart. I didn’t feel as if I needed them to make that decision for me. I wasn’t being stubborn or independent, I was simply being realistic. Isn’t man imperfect? Why should my family and loved ones wait until a group of men say it’s okay for them to talk to me? Didn’t they see I was living an upstanding and steadfast lifestyle? So many of whom they chose to hang around were leading adulterous, sinful lives themselves but they didn’t have that “cloak” over them, so that was okay? I was muddled with confusion.

I have recently realized that I will never again be close to certain family members that I once was. This isn’t by my choice, but theirs. I understand now that just because I have grown past certain teachings and chose to let them go, not everyone is ready to accept that, and that’s okay. Not everyone can swallow the bitter pill of admitting certain lifelong beliefs may be unhealthy and unloving. I am blessed that I now have a full heart, one of love and forgiveness and non-judgement. Am I perfect? Absolutely not, and that is why I don’t expect anyone else to be.

I was reading my favorite scripture the other day that speaks of unconditional love. You know, the one that states the fact that love is not jealous, it doesn’t brag, it endures all things, believes all things, hopes all things? The one that says “love never fails”? God is love. We are undeserving of His graciousness and ability to forgive, yet He showers us with it anyway, out of pure, unconditional love.

If my estranged family members surprise me one day and want to be in my life again, I will welcome them with open arms and most importantly, an open heart.

As though I had forgotten, as though I

had simply forgotten to file past and up—

they told me, at 7—on Sunday mornings

made up of gray matter and lifeless like

cold and dirty bed linens twined between

your legs—they told me when the old church

on St. Dismus still faced ad orientum—told

me as though their reminders should easily

have been welcomed and thanked—their

reminders to me that the invitation was

now mine too in the extending—to come

and taste—to eat, to drink—a privilege

they said, the only thing in life that’s

truly free they said, you’re old enough

now they said. 

I shivered.  Each time at the haunting

elevation—shivered at the through Him

with Him—shivered that Sunday shiver—

and sometimes a Saturday shiver too—

wanting and not wanting the miracle,

believing He had come, believing He

hadn’t.  They didn’t know, that May,

the first time—we had a celebration

after and everyone came—they didn’t

know that time, nor the times after—

the entumescence, the frothy dissolving

into each Sunday rejection—of me—retching

and heaving alone out on St. Dismus Road—

washed away in the rain torrents of the

gutter like cum in a draining bathtub.

If it’s true—and it really is—it’s cannibalism.

If it’s not, then it’s the supreme lie.  Were I

to go I would approach with reverence—I

did that once—It’s chewed like bubble gum

by those filing past like a bar-b-cue line. 

They threatened in rooms with the vinyl

drapes drawn.  Nuns in green pantsuits

scowled.  Were I, but were I only one of

the trillion atomic particles in the mid-

century floor.  Priests practiced me with

Unconsecrated rounds—I can still taste

The English Leather on their hands as

They coaxed my renegade tongue from

My mouth.  Such a long word.  I was only

7 years old.

Lent 2009

Dan Davis, © 2009

Story #1 – A Brazilian 9-year-old was allegedly raped by her step-father (who is now in jail for this). Weighing only 80 pounds and 15 weeks pregnant, this little girl was pregnant with twins. Abortion is against the law in Brazil, but a judge can make an exception if the mother’s life is at risk. It was determined in this case that this child’s life was at risk. The abortion was carried out yesterday amidst protests from the Catholic Church.

Story #2 – According to an article by Human Rights Watch, officials in the Mexican state of Guanajuato are preventing rape victims from getting abortions even though the Mexican Supreme Court upheld a ruling that it is legal. The HRW article says this:

Guanajuato permits legal abortion only after rape. But over the past eight years, the state has denied every petition by a pregnant rape victim for abortion services. Over the same period, about 130 persons have been sentenced for seeking or providing illegal abortions. Hospital workers often report women suspected of having received abortions to the police, instead of focusing on the provision of safe and confidential medical care for women with post-abortion complications.

In Mexico City, women can have an abortion in their first trimester, no matter whether they were raped or not.

Feministing.com includes this unbelievable bit. Their comment about it is in bold type:

Virginia gubernatorial candidate Jerry W. Kilgore was quoted in 1997 as saying he opposes abortion, but “supports exceptions for rape and incest if the woman reports the crime to police within a week.” Cause really ladies, seven days is plenty of time to deal with your dad raping you.

In a different take on men’s appalling insensitivity to what it is like to be raped and impregnated by a rapist, I read a story about how a Japanese computer game was available on Amazon.com and eBay where players must rape women and force them to have an abortion. It was taken down off Amazon on 2/13/09.

Rape in itself is violent, intrusive, and forever changes and affects a woman or girl. I do not believe that abortion should be used as a form of birth control, but no woman or child should be forced to carry the child of a rapist. Lawmakers and churches who disregard not only the danger to a raped child’s life but also the emotional devastation of having to carry and give birth to a rapist’s child are not just or godly. And entrepreneurs profiting from glorifying rape and the men who buy this disgusting filth bear culpability in promoting a world where rape is seen as a means for men to take out their aggression and as entertainment.

Women who were raped had no choice in the matter and they did not choose to have a child by their attacker. They deserve a choice on whether to carry to carry and be a mother to a rapist’s child…especially when the unwlling mother-to-be is a child herself.

UPDATE: The Vatican has excommunicated the mother of the raped 9-year-old Brazilian girl who had the abortion and the doctors who performed the abortion. The step-father, who raped the girl, was not excommunicated. The regional archbishop said that even thought what he did was “… ”a heinous crime … the abortion – the elimination of an innocent life – was more serious”. The girl said the step-father had been sexually abusing her since she was six years old. Police said the 23-year-old stepfather also allegedly sexually abused the girl’s physically handicapped 14-year-old sister. He faces up to 15 years in prison if convicted.

Williamson, now once more accepted as a Roman Catholic, said in a TV interview last November that he feels there has been a “huge exploitation” of the claim that six million Jews were gassed – which, he is at pains to tell the interviewer, he is certain is not true. He’s “not interested” in being called an anti-Semite, either. It’s not a matter of emotion, he says. (view the video here) He has a pleasant, polite, very English voice. And Pope Benedict, God’s rottweiler, wants him back.) For the record, Williamson believes it may be true that “several thousand” Jews were killed by the Nazis. But not six million. And there were no gas chambers. No crematoria. He’s sure of that.

Ruth Gledhill at the Times:

Bishop Richard Williamson is a hardline ultra-conservative bishop of the Society of St Pius X. He is excommunicated from the RC church, along with his three brother SSPX bishops but as we report, and also according to reports coming out of Rome, the excommunications could be lifted soon by the Pope. It could even be lifted by Sunday, according to the usually reliable Rorate Caeli. And that while he faces possible prosecution for Holocaust denial in Germany after an interview with a reporter from Swedish TV in which he claimed that six million Jews did not die in the Holocaust, merely a few thousand, and that the gas chambers did not exist. CathCon has the translation of the Der Spiegel report and more on the likely lifting of those excommunications. Could the clock really be turned back this far on Nostra Aetate and the teachings of Vatican II?

The response of the Lefebvrist Society of St Pius X was telling:

Although it had been understood that the interview would deal with religious issues only, the reporter asked the bishop’s opinion concerning historical matters. It is obvious that a bishop can only speak about questions of faith and morals with any ecclesiastical authority. If he deals with secular issues, he is personally responsible for his own private opinions. The Society I am governing has no authority to address such issues, nor will it ever claim such authority. -Bishop Bernard Fellay, 21st January 2009, via

From the Independent, October 1999, back when Pope John Paul II was trying to have the first Nazi Pope sainted, on Pius XII (who canonized Pope Pius X):

a single-minded Vatican lawyer and diplomat who, from the earliest part of his career, set out to establish the absolute authority of Rome over Europe’s Catholic populations in a series of accommodations with autocratic regimes. Having served as papal nuncio in Germany throughout the 1920s before becoming the Vatican’s chief diplomat, Eugenio Pacelli was in a unique position to negotiate with the Nazis over the church’s status. The deal that was cut guaranteed Catholic influence over education and spiritual life in Germany, but at a terrible price: the Catholic Centre Party was forced into dissolution, removing the last obstacle to Hitler’s goal of absolute power, and all attempts at resistance by Germany’s Catholic bishops were cut off at the knees.

The so-called Reichskonkordat, between the Vatican and Germany, handed the Nazis their first much-needed piece of international recognition and, according to Hitler’s crowing at a subsequent cabinet meeting, opened the way to undertake “the urgent struggle against international Jewry”. The concordat was celebrated in St Hedwig’s cathedral in Berlin with swastikas flying alongside the Catholic banners and the “Horst Wessel” song, the Nazis’ unofficial anthem, blaring out from loudspeakers to the thousands that had assembled outside.Cornwell shows that Pius XII’s attitude to Jews was ambivalent at best, unearthing letters from his early career in Germany in which he refuses favours to the Jewish community on the most pusillanimous of grounds and describes the Munich chapter of the German Communist Party as being chaotic, filthy and full of Jews. He refers dismissively to “a group of young women, of dubious appearance, Jews like all the rest of them” and describes the Communist leader Max Levien as a Jew, “pale, dirty, with drugged eyes, hoarse voice, vulgar, repulsive…”

When, during the war, he came to learn of the extermination of millions of Jews, he made only the vaguest of references to the slaughter in a 1942 Christmas message – making no mention of either anti-Semitism or the Jews – and concentrated instead on developing his inner spirituality, commissioning a film called Pastor Angelicus to show off his reflective, fiercely ascetic nature.”It is very sad,” the then British ambassador to the Holy See, Francis D’Arcy Osborne, wrote in a letter unearthed by Cornwell. “The fact is that the moral authority of the Holy See, which Pius XI and his predecessors had built up into a world power, is now sadly reduced.” link (more here)

In September 2008, Pope Benedict spoke at a symposium in honour of Pope Pius XII on the 50th anniversary of his death, praising his predecessor.

Ruth Gledhill asks if this means the Catholic Church is reversing the Vatican II reforms. Yes: both Pope John Paul II and Pope Benedict have made clear over the decades, Benedict both as head of the Papal Inquisition as well as Pope, they don’t like the Vatican II concept of the Catholic Church: they like Pius XII’s concept of the Church as a fascist authority, working in concert with other fascist authorities, to rule over the people. Bishop Williamson belongs in Pope Benedict’s church.

One of my new favorite writer and blogger , JF Lewis, got excommunicated from his church for writing an urban fantasy novel with a vampire protagonist.  You can find the story here, but below is a quick synopsis.

Lewis adds that the elders of his church believe that “by writing the book, I committed the sins contained within it. They also felt that I’d aimed the novel at young children (which boggles the mind) and that it teaches and encourages the use of vulgar language. Though I disagree wholeheartedly with their decision, I can’t really say they took the action they took in order to be mean… they appear to have been acting out of genuine concern.”

Whatever their motivation, I can’t believe that a loving church would honestly remove a member for writing FICTION.  I have to think that Lewis’s christian charity at their motivations is a greater sign of Christ’s loving influence than the church’s actions.

I discovered Lewis quite by accident.  I was wandering around Books-A-Million one day, looking hopelessly for a new vampire book to read.  I love vampire stories.  And I came across a new book written by an Alabama author about Vampires.  So I picked it up.  And I loved it.  The book, if you want to support the author, is called Staked.

In an interview at Urban Fantasy Land, Lewis talked a little bit about the action.  It wasn’t much detail into the why, but it did have a bit to say about how it effected his family.  The following quote from Lewis in the interview really upset me.

They went after my wife, too…. tried to hold her partially responsible for what I wrote because she did my website.  They used my dedication against me, tried to make her ashamed of being named in it.  I’m still mad about that.

I’m still trying to figure out the motivation on that.  Okay, don’t like the book I guess you do what you have to do, but then to target his FAMILY like that?  I have to give the man credit.  According to the interview he has still attended services at the church, and has taken communion there.  He is a better Christian than I am.  Seems to me, the church could learn a thing or two from his actions.

I’m so alarmed that such a thing could happen today, that I’m nearly speechless.  And the book really is good.  I enjoyed it completely.  This March, ReVamped comes out, the sequel to Staked.  You can be sure I’ll get that book too.

Excommunicates: Janice Sevre-Duszynska conversing with Fr. Roy Bourgeois who co-celebrated false ordination of Janice as a Roman Catholic Womanpriest in Lexington, Kentucky on Aug. 9, 2008

From the National Catholic Register…

Maryknoll: ‘Excommunicated’

Wednesday, December 10, 2008 2:09 PM

Tom Hoopes here. I just got off the phone with Betsey Guest, spokeswoman for the Maryknoll Fathers and Brothers in New York, to ask about the reported excommunication of one of their priests for participating in an attempt to ordain women. Here’s the raw interview:

Does Maryknoll consider Father Roy Bourgeois to be excommunicated?

“We believe that he has been excommunicated. This was done by the CDF, not by us.”

As of today, Dec. 10?
“Yes.”

Have you heard from the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith about it?
“There has been no direct communication from the CDF regarding that.”

Then why do you consider him excommunicated?
“Because he was given 30 days to recant his actions, and he had responded saying that he could not recant those actions, he has been excommunicated at the end of that” period of time.

Is there usually a communication like these?
She said she had no idea, but reiterated that Maryknoll leaders “have not received any formal notification to that effect and are in fact awaiting a response from the CDF to Father Bourgeois’s letter sent Nov. 13″

Is he still a Maryknoll?
“He’s still a member, but possibly open to possible further penalty. We don’t know whether that will take place or not. We have not had official word.”

So, any further penalty would be in the hands of the CDF and not the Maryknolls?
“We are awaiting their response.”

He can be excommunicated and still be a Maryknoll?
“He is still a Catholic.” Many people misunderstand what excommunication means, she said. “He is just prohibited from receiving or administering the sacraments.

Does the order regret the stance Father Bourgeois took on women’s ordination?
“We’re very saddened. The fathers and brothers are very saddened by the course of the events that have taken. He’s been a member of the family for 63 years. They give him their love and pastoral response.”

Yes, but does the order regret his stance on women’s ordination.
“We are saddened by the whole circumstance.”

Does Maryknoll have a stance on women’s ordination?
“Maryknoll has no official stance by the order”

Either for or against?
“We have no official stance. The order follows the rules and regulations of the Catholic Church.”

How is Father Bourgeois taking the news?
“He does not live here at headquarters. His work is quite separate.”

Have you spoken to him personally?
“I have not.”

Where is he now?
“He lives outside Fort Benning, Ga. The School of the Americas Watch is his ministry. Peace and Justice work is his ministry. He speaks around the country on many issues of peace.”

How will this affect that work?
“It remains to be seen. This is all so new.”

- Tom Hoopes

Maryknoll Statement…

For Immediate Release, November 12, 2008
Contact: Betsey Guest, 914-941-7636×2219

Statement regarding Father Roy Bourgeois

The Maryknoll Society did receive a confidential communiqué from the Congregation for the
Doctrine of Faith, and forwarded the contents of that communiqué to Father Bourgeois. The
Society continues to respect the confidentiality of the communications between the Congregation
of the Doctrine of the Faith and Father Bourgeois.

The Society will abide by the decision of the Congregation. At the same time, we have an
obligation to ensure the canonical rights of our members, and we will fulfill that obligation.

When the Word was read to Josiah, and he knew God’s commands had been violated by allowing idols  in God’s Holy Temple, he took action:

“Then the King commanded Hilkiah the high priest and the priests of the second order and the doorkeepers, to bring out of the temple of the Lord all the vessels that were made for Baal, for Asherah, for all the host of heaven; and he burned them outside Jerusalem in the fields of the Kidron, and carried away their ashes to Bethel.” (2 Kings 23:4)

“He brought out the Asherah from the House of the Lord outside Jerusalem to the brook Kidron, and burned it at brook Kidron, and ground it to dust, and threw its dust on the graves of the common people. He also broke down the houses of the male cult prostitutes which were in the House of the Lord, where the women were weaving hangings for the Asherah.” (2 Kings 23:6-7) 

The Bible says Josiah “did right in the sight of the Lord, and walked in all the way of his father David, nor did he turn aside to the right or to the left.” (2 Kings 22:2) 

Imagine what Josiah would think about churches allowing these idols right back in through the all-gods worship of the Alcoholics Anonymous religion. According to the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book, “We found God does not make too hard terms with those who seek Him. To us, the Realm of Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive; never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek. It is open, we believe, to all men. When, therefore, we speak to you of God, we mean your own conception of God.” (pg. 46-47)

Josiah, based on the Word, would never have accepted this. Far more importantly, neither does Jesus. For, where A.A. calls the spiritual realm “broad,” Jesus warns, “Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is BROAD that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it.” (Matthew 7: 13-14) 

What, I’ve gotta draw ya a picture? http://www.christianworldviewnetwork.com/article.php/4180/Brannon-Howse/By-John-Lanagan

Let’s start out with the subject of college mascots. North Carolina Wesleyan and Ohio Wesleyan are both The Battling Bishops. I think they should play each other every year with the winning team retaining their mascot and the losing team going by the new mascot The Excommunicated. No American college has a mascot called Industrialists. Seems such a shame since there are plenty of Aggies. Puget Sound Christian and Rhode Island College are both The Anchormen. I hear it’s far tougher to win the P.A. announcer’s position than it is to actually make the team. (And yes I already know they’re both actually anchormen as in the guys on the boat who drop the anchor, but my way is funnier.) There are eight colleges who use the mascot Bison. Lipscomb University uses Bisons as their mascot. I’m voting to change their mascot to The Fighting Illiterates. People, let’s get this straight. You should refer to multiple Bison as either “Bison” or a “herd of Bison”. More on the topic of mascots later.

Since I am in the process of successfully dropping serious poundage I’m not currently throwing any of my wine soirees. This has enlightened me on something. I may have to actually amend the Finn Social Rules. For those of you who don’t know, this is about as easy to do as amending the Constitution Of The United States, mostly because it would involve me not having foreseen a potential problem.  Anyway, one of the social rules was that I could kick you out of the social group if you missed more than two events in a row. A lot of my social friends are now convinced I hate them and have cast them out into the cold cruel world of sobriety! I will recap the rules in a future blog for those of you who aren’t already intimately familiar with them.

I’ve always toyed with the idea of simply reciting The Aristocrats joke on a blog if I suffered from writer’s block. I’m not sure too many people would actually “get” the joke if I did that. Like that would ever stop me. Be prepared peeps. It’s probably coming at some point. Did I just say “coming at some point”? That reminds me of a joke. A guy walks into the office of a talent agent…

If I ever run for President, I’m going to have Caitlin Upton be my running mate. She’s hotter than Sarah Palin (who Bill Maher said looked like an airline flight attendant) and I’m pretty sure they are going to sound similar in the debate. See the Caitlin Upton link above and you’ll see what I mean. Uh oh. Writing that will insure a call from my mother. She’s probably going to try to take away my kids for me writing that.

Time to go to bed. See you tomorrow.

Chad Hardy, creator of the ‘Men on a Mission’ calendar, said:

“I felt like I spoke my truth. Bottom-line, they still felt the calendar is inappropriate and not the image that the church wants to have.”

Read the full article here

Kullervo has stated several times on the blog that Mormon doctrine is actually very loose. Every one thinks that it is strict and that it’s their own personal interpretation that IS what the church teaches. If someone happens to disagree, it will just be a matter of time until everyone comes around to accepting their viewpoint as the one, true teaching. This viewpoint of Mormon doctrine is perfectly illustrated in Paul Toscano. He is utterly convinced that he is the one who has got it right on issues that the larger church body clearly doesn’t agree.

My favorite part of the interview was his take on his excommunication. He was told that he was being excommunicated for threatening and weakening other people’s testimonies. “They said ‘You’re damaging people’s testimonies’. And I said ‘Show me who has lost their testimony as a result of anything I’ve said, and if it comes to taking a body count, I’ll put my lost testimonies up against Boyd Packer’s any day of the week.’ “(Tim’s paraphrase). His sheer bravado just made me laugh.

If you want to hear the whole interview go to Mormon Stories.

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5