Private investigation firms are multiplying across the UK: As the technology used by undercover snoopers becomes cheaper and increasingly advanced, the practice continues to grow, with even town authorities using them to bypass pri

After a while his hand came back, searching for hers.
He tried to fit his fingers in the spaces between hers.
She pushed his hand away before sitting up in the bed.

Her head in her hands.
She could hear his breath change.
He had no idea what was going on.
She could feel her heart break right there.
Suddenly she couldn’t keep it in anymore.
Tears streamed down her cheeks.
Like rivers running wild.

He instantly sat up in the bed, looking at her shaking shoulders as she silently cried her heart out.
“oooh baby…” he said before wrapping his arms tightly around her.
He held her closer than ever.
“my poor little sweet beautiful baby…”
Her heart broke even more.
How could life be so cruel and beautiful at the same time?

It felt as if everything had been crashing down on her for the past four weeks.
The only thing that made it more or less bearable was that look in his eyes.
Those whispers in her ear telling her how much he loved her.
She know he did. She knows he does. As does she.
So why had it become so hard all of a sudden?

The sobbing got more intense.
There was sound now.
The sound of someone who had just broken.
“I feel as if I’m sucking the life out of you.
I feel such a burden sometimes.
I’m so hopelessly broken.
I’m so lost. So hopeless.
Things have been so hard lately.
You have been the only thing that was good.
That is good.
You’re the one keeping me from hurting myself again.
Your love is saving me.” she slowly said, sobbing at the same time.
Her cheeks all wet with salt tears.

He took her by her chin and turned her to face him.
“Our love baby. Our love.
I love you. That’s the only thing that matters.
That’s the most important.
That’s all you need to know.
You don’t know yourself anymore?
I do.
You’re beautiful, sweet, caring, loving…
You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.
You’re my true love.
My everything.
My heart and soul. My reason for living.
But you know when you’re even more beautiful?
When you smile. So please baby, love of mine, do smile.
Don’t hide the beauty of your smile.”

Lovingly he wiped away her tears.
After doing so he left his hand on her cheek.

“I love you”, he whispered.
“and you’re not broken, not at all. You may have some cracks, but don’t we all?
No one is without scars.
And I even love you with them.
You take away mine, so please, let me take away yours.
Let me bent you.”

She took in a deep breath.
“It may not look like it,” she said, while looking down to her lap wet from her tears “but I do love you as well. So damn much.”

He laughed, and she couldn’t help laughing as well.
It was a rather faint laugh, but it was a laugh.
He looked into her eyes deeply.
“We’re going to make it love. Our love is going to make it. Have faith.
Life will get better.
And if it won’t, I’ll always be here to hold you, listen to you, cheer you up when it gets too much.
I’ll never let you down.
That’s a promise.”

Westfield’s non-compliance has been proved to be a real pain for the ECB

The England and Wales Cricket Board (ECB) are facing the risk of paying former Pakistan leg-spinner Danish Kaneria ”very substantial damages” after Mervyn Westfield, the main witness against him in the recent spot-fixing trial, continues to refuse to appear at an appeal hearing.

Kaneria, along with Westfield, was found guilty of spot-fixing by the ECB in June 2012 and received a life ban and a fine of £100,000.

Kaneria was also accused of pressuring Westfield into spot-fixing, and he deliberately underperformed in a limited overs match for Essex against Durham in 2009, for which he was paid £6,000.

Westfield testified against Kaneria at his trial.

Under the International Cricket Council (ICC) rules, Kaneria’s ban is now worldwide.

The ECB were set to hear Kaneria’s appeal in December, but after Westfield refused to appear, they postponed the hearing to April 22.

With the chances of Westfield appearing getting slimmer by the day, the ECB are hoping the testimony he gave during the first hearing will be enough.

However, Kaneria and his lawyers feel that Westfield should be allowed to make his own decisions and added that the ECB were trying to make him appear since they will ”have no case” if he doesn’t.

“The legal principle is this,” Farogh Naseem, Kaneria’s lawyer, told ESPNcricinfo. “If the ECB rely upon a witness, that witness should be available for cross-examination. If he is not, then his evidence can hold no weight. Without him they have no case. Clearly we are taking a different stance on this to the ECB and, ultimately, I expect the matter to be decided by the High Court in London.

“We will definitely seek compensation from the ECB. Not only have the delayed the procedure, but they refused to allow an interim measure until it was decided. Mr Kaneria should have been allowed to continue to play and earn a living while the matter was settled. I don’t want to disclose the figure, but we will seek very substantial damages from the ECB. They have been too harsh and delayed the appeal too long. There is a great level of guilt on the ECB.”

Kaneria is still clinging on to the hope that he has a chance of reviving his international career.

“It will be a victory for the game of cricket when Mr Kaneria is cleared,” Naseem continued. “He is a young man with a promising career ahead of him and he could be utilised by Pakistan and other teams around the world. As a legspinner, he is the master of a dying art and it is in the interest of the game of cricket that he should play.”

Westfield’s non-compliance has been a major headache for the ECB and this may be a result of the fact that they made him serve a four-month prison sentence and banned him for five years, but with the ability to play club cricket again after three.

Naseem stated that Kaneria had no problems with Westfield providing evidence against him, but added that his client wanted the appeal to be held in public.

“All we want is for everyone to tell the truth,” Naseem said. “In the interests of transparency, we would like to have the hearing in public. We do not have anything to hide and, if the ECB if confident they have a strong case, they should have nothing to hide as well. If they are confident in their case, nothing should stop them having it heard. So why have there been so many months of waiting?

“I cannot tell you why Mr Westfield is not willing to appear. Maybe he has guilt issues; maybe he does not. But Mr Westfield should speak the truth.”

One of the greatest arts we have perfected as human beings is the art of running away from our responsibilities or in other words, our problems. As humans we constantly find different reasons to put off our problems using different self learned illusory “techniques”. These techniques are the roots of the obstacles that keep people from owning up to their actions, and making the positive changes to become serene. The first is blame; one of the most common tools used to brush off our problems. One of the biggest sign of someone who will not likely change a habit is a person who deceives themselves into thinking that they’re being held back by others. It can also be referred to as the idea of “external shackles”. Have you ever been in a position where you are being pressured by your peers to do something that you know you shouldn’t do, or told by your parents to undergo a specific career path, and eventually you end up giving in? Surely, your reaction after doing so was blaming them for the decision, saying “It’s all because of you” or “I did it for you”.

Sometimes people delay change and taking responsibility for their life decisions for the simple fact that they come up with reasons for obstacles of why they can’t do something. This applies for anyone who keeps saying things like “it’s not my fault,” “my parents raised me this way,” “I wasn’t given attention,” and the list goes on and on. For example, a sister really wants to put on the hijab, she truly is convinced but tells herself, “I just can’t because my environment, and my friends make it impossible.” What this person is denying and what they need to know is that it doesn’t take away the person’s say in the matter, it doesn’t eliminate their choice in this play. One can adjust their lives accordingly if they really wanted to own up to this responsibility, yet it is always easier to blame others for our wrong doings. If this sister wants to identify where she stands and critically come up with a solution to the change she wants to make, she would undoubtedly then change her environment to best suit her needs.

Sometimes people blame their parents and will tell themselves things like “I need to shave my beard because my parents are telling me so, and I need to follow my parents …” Allah  says about this “Whoever chooses to follow the right path, follows it but for his own good; and whoever goes astray, goes but astray to his own loss; and no bearer of burdens shall be made to bear another’s burden” [Isra' 15]. What this verse means is that nobody in life is forced to bare the burden of the other, which means that it is a conscious decision from the person to make them their burden. Allah talks about these kinds of shackles, saying that when Islam was revealed through the Prophet (SAW), mankind was liberated from these shackles, “(…) relieves them of their burden and the shackles which were upon them (…)  [Al A'raf 157]. What this verse is trying to explain is that as soon as you become a Muslim, these shackles are not there anymore, that you become free of them, unless however of course you decide to imprison yourself in illusions. The sad fact is that sometimes we spend so much time blaming and complaining, when we could just use that same time and energy and use it for positive change.

The second means we use to run away from our problems is what is referred to as internal or self-imposed shackles. Self-imposed shackles are the hardest to overcome because they are not necessarily tangible obstacles. Not only is it easier to see something that is external rather than internal, another factor that makes this type of obstacle hard to deal with is the fact that it imposed by your own hands. In other words, you become your biggest enemy, and it is never easy to fight yourself. There are various types of internal shackles, amongst them are: laziness, procrastination, excessive guilt and learned helplessness. Before describing each however, a point that needs to be highlighted is that sometimes external shackles can accentuate internal shackles. What this means for example is that some external shackle like debts can affect one’s self esteem which then becomes not only an external problem but one of the internal as well, which becomes even harder to surpass. In other words, you become your own enemy.

People often compare laziness with procrastination. Laziness is very special in its way. When someone is lazy what happens is that they know there is something to change but they don’t feel like simply doing something about it, while as procrastination is when the person wants to but keeps pushing it away due to other priorities coming in the way. The dangers of laziness is that the more one gets consumed in the cycle, the more unlikely the person will end up doing anything about it and the more likely (through cognitive dissonance), the person will slowly get assimilated into believing that there is no need to change anything, “I’m perfect the way I am.” When it comes to procrastination it’s a similar danger; the more you let off tasks, the more you will keep procrastinating. Unfortunately it becomes a cycle and like a disease in the sense that one needed change becomes two needed changes, and then three until you become so overburdened by things you need to change, that it depresses you and consumes you. Also, it may have the ultimate danger of making you believe that you don’t need to change once again, because of the dynamics of cognitive dissonance used to deal with this acquired anxiety. The best way to avoid it is to never begin the cycle.

Sometimes procrastination takes different forms, when it comes to important things needing change (specifically if by change we mean repentance). Sometimes people start to look for a sign, which is quite scary because this is undoubtedly one of Shaytan’s oldest traps. For example, this same sister mentioned before who wants to change but tells herself she can’t unless she goes to Saudi Arabia. Another brother says he won’t stop dating this girl until he hits Ramadan, and then he’s going to stop. Parents most often use the excuse, “In sha Allah when I go for Hajj or Umrah, I will start praying, putting on the hijab, etc… but when that day comes I will definitely make the changes required.  What’s very scary is that they never end up changing, or death comes unannounced before this sign ever arrives.

Allah  warns us about certain people on the Day of Judgement who will blame their procrastination saying, ”And turn in repentance and in obedience with true Faith to your Lord and submit to Him, before the torment comes upon you, then you will not be helped.” [Az-Zumar 54]. Allah then goes on in the next verses saying “Or (lest) he should say when he sees the torment: “If only I had another chance (to return to the world) then I should indeed be among the good doers.” [58]. The reality is that Allah knows that we would repeat the same actions if we were given another chance. The even clearer reality is that every single day we are alive is a chance that we are given by Allah to change, yet we abuse chance after chance and never change. So the claim isn’t “just give me one more chance” but rather the true claim is “what are you doing with your chances?”. These two primary shackles are the one with the most impact when it comes to keeping us away from accountability whether personal or social. It’s like the example of driving a car and almost getting into an accident, you can close your eyes all you like, but you will undoubtedly crash. Unfortunately, this won’t be the article dealing specifically with how to overcome laziness or procrastination specifically, perhaps in a future article.

The next two techniques we use to delay our change or obstruct ourselves from changing are excessive guilt and learned helplessness. The two can be deeply rooted and dangerous frames of the mind, which require one to completely change the thought process first before anything. Excessive guilt is when a person becomes paralyzed by past mistakes, and leads to a person continuously beating themselves for that reason, and further issues like low self esteem, a sense of worthlessness, etc… Allah says about this in the same chapter just before “Say: “O ‘My slaves who have transgressed against themselves by committing evil deeds and sins! Despair not in the Mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” Allah is acknowledging the fact that people will despair and it will lead them to delay repentance or change. Many times you meet brothers or sisters who live a shaky life style, and think themselves that they have no chance. Sometimes it is a sister who has removed her hijab, sometimes a brother who commits fornication, and they condemn themselves and further lead themselves into never ending beatings and despair. The reality is the following, you failed once, now get up and try again, you’ve been given another chance don’t lose this battle too. Unfortunately sometimes, the person has forced themselves to believe that it’s done, that they are ultimately doomed, and that is the true defeat. As the saying goes, “Failure is not falling down, but refusing to get back up.” What the person needs to realize in this case is that they do have control over their thought, that they are fooling themselves and are inflicting pain upon themselves. That’s why self imposed shackles are the worst, because when you become your own enemy, you lose track of what’s going on and how to fight back. So brothers and sisters, take heed from Allah’s advice, never, and I say never despair in His mercy, and know that if you do, there is nobody to blame except for yourself, and you will lead yourself in a spiral of negative emotions until the day you make the decision to stand up and fight back.

When it comes to learned helplessness, the best describing story of the matter is the one of the elephant. The circus elephant had his neck once tied to a rope he could not break out of as a child and when he had been fully grown as an adult, he still could not (though he had the physical strength now to even break the whole tent that was holding him back). What this shows is that some of us teach ourselves how to be weak and worthless when in fact we can actually change without a problem. Key sentences like “I’m bad”, or “I just can’t”, etc… teaches a person how to become useless in situations that they could have otherwise handled excellently. There is a very serious story that happened during the Prophet’s time PBUH, that really goes to show how often we can when we say we can’t. When the Prophet (SAW) saw a man eating with his left hand he said to him: “Eat with your right hand.’ The man said: ‘I can’t’. The Prophet (SAW) there upon said: “May you not be able”. He refused (to eat with his right hand) out of arrogance or sheer excuses that had no true meaning. He was not able to raise that hand again. So the question isn’t “can I or can’t I”, but one needs to start realizing is that it really comes down to “do I or don’t I”.

All in all, we always teach ourselves new techniques and ways to stop ourselves from moving forward. However Allah constantly brings us back to reality in the Qur’an saying: “Whoever chooses to follow the right path, follows it but for his own good; and whoever goes astray, goes but astray to his own loss (…)”. You chose your path, whether you go astray or decide to become wrapped with Allah’s guidance. In the end there will be things only up to Allah, but our decisions are not made by Him, and that doesn’t take away a person’s will in choosing what to do no or not do. Allah says in a very serious sequence of verses in the Qur’an “And whomsoever turns away from my remembrance, We will give him a depressed life”. If you ever felt depressed know for a fact that the reason could have simply been because you chose to be that way, to put yourself in that position. I’m not saying that everything is in your control ultimately, but before always jumping to conclusions about change, ask yourself if there really was a tangible opposing factor or if you were the only factor all along.

The Prophet also said, Allah will meet a person and ask him, “O person, wasn’t I generous to you? And didn’t I give you a spouse and make the horses and camels at your disposal?” The servant will reply, “Yes!” Allah will then ask, “Did you think that you will meet Me?” He will reply, “No!” Allah will say, “I will forget you as you forgot Me.” Then Allah Almighty will meet another person and his reply will be the same as the first person’s. Then again He will meet a third person and will ask similar questions, and the person’s reply will be, “O Lord, I believed in You, in Your books, and in Your messengers. I prayed, I fasted, and I gave charity.” And he will praise Allah as much as he can. Allah will say, “Hold on to your words, now We will bring the witnesses.” The person will ask himself, “Who will testify against me?” Then that person’s mouth will be sealed, and his thighs, flesh, and bones will be asked to speak. They will speak about his bad deeds. He will know that he has no excuse. That is the hypocrite with whom Allah the Exalted will be furious. (Muslim). What this hadith shows us is that sometimes you think the shackles are external and that they are the reasons to blame others, but on the Day of Judgement, everything will be cleared up since you will be testifying against yourself, all these problems you tried to hide yourself will be exposed by your very limbs used to hide them. My advice is the following then, do not wait for you to be held accountable by yourself on the Day of Judgement, rather take the time now to critically advise yourself and make the necessary changes for your after-life.

Although these issues are better left treated individually and through a specific method, here are some general solutions that if undertaken properly, you will see a definite change in the mentality, in the framework of the mind and from there changing them and ridding yourself from these techniques will become a whole lot easier. The first is to constantly analyze yourself critically and question yourself for every decision you make. Ask yourself who you’re doing it for and why you are doing it, if you’re truly forced to do it or if you just think you need to. This concept of self-awareness will allow you to keep yourself accountable and will help you identify yourself as the blame for your problems. Which brings me to my second point, always blame yourself for your failures, don’t blame others. Thirdly, remember death for verily death is the killer of pleasures. There is a reason why Allah repeats death so many times in the Qur’an. Death grounds you, brings you to reality, and helps you refocus on your every dealing and allows you to develop an responsible side to decision making and accountability. Lastly always look at the social accountability sphere just as you remember the self. Analyze how a single decision you make can affect others and the society, either helping them or bringing to them harm. Remember Musa and the sinner, and how you might think you only affect yourself, but in the end it is not always the case.

Feel free to comment and give some pointers as to how you keep yourself accountable and help yourself deal with your obstacles to change. If you want even write a story that is relevant with the theme.

A good leader faces the music even when he doesn’t like the tune.

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New song, darker, then my previous few…Give a check if interested…Lyrics…

I walked out into The Field today

It wasn’t the same

I tried to keep my head in check

But it’s always upset

And I’m on my own

i’m on my own

And I walked out into the sea today

But it wasn’t the same

The blue waves came the sun it set

Still I couldn’t replace

I’m on my own

On my own

And my heartbeats…My heart beats Tonight

So I walked into another wall today

And it was all just the same

As it’s been for sometime

I see the birds, I feel sunshine

With those wings that you hold I don’t own them,

And I know its all the same for me

I’l go this road I’ll try to hold on but I know

I got nowhere else to go,

On my own,  I’m on my own

And my heartbeat, my heart beat, gives out

So I walked out into The Field today

But it wasn’t the same

Last month Trinidad Magistrate Judge Maureen Baboolal-Gafoor found Montano guilty on four counts of assault, but the singer avoided jail time.

Baboolal-Gafoor fined Machel Montano TT$13,700 and ordered him to pay TT$13,500 in compensation to the plaintiffs in the case.

See also: Machel Montano Escaped Jail Time, Fined TT$27,000

However, the legal showdown is not over yet as both lawyers reprenting Machel Montano and his co-accused Kernal Roberts filed an appeal to overturn the judges ruling.

Attorneys Dana Seetahal SC and Keith Scotland, representing Montano and Roberts respectively, contends that there were insufficient evidence to convict both men.

The state also filed their own appeal.

Senior State attorney George Busby also filed an appeal against the judges ruling, arguing that the judge was too soft on Machel and Roberts.

In related Machel Montano news, the soca singer could see his United States visa being revoked as a result of his conviction.

According to reports, Machel Montano may require special permission from the US Department of Homeland Security to acquire a new visa.

.

Knowing how flannel always shrinks the first time it is washed, I washed and dried the fabric first and then I was ready to cut. As I cut out the pieces of this pattern, I realized that this piece of fabric was not a flannel, but instead just a cotton. It is a little thicker than quilting cotton and has a texture to it, but it is not a true flannel. And since I was just sewing to learn some new skills, I decided to just keep on going even though this project was supposed to be flannel pajamas, and not cotton ones. Also, I figured that I had plenty of fabric to do the project and I would have some fabric left over, but after cutting out the shirt, I almost did not have enough for the pants because of the print. I could have turned Blue upside down on the back of the pants and still had plenty of fabric left over, but for Blue to be upright, I had to cut the pants a little off from the grain line and shorten the pants length by an inch. It is only off the grain line by less than 1/2 an inch and I can make up the lost inch in length with a shorter hem so I kept on cutting.

.

When it was finally time to start sewing, I decided to not follow the sewing guide in the pattern. And since I had mainly wanted to try out adding the piping, I skipped straight to that step first. The pattern assumed you would purchase the piping if you added it, so it does not give you instructions on how to make your own piping. But making piping is pretty straight forward and I made my own anyway. I had some previously purchased cording to use for it and not really knowing what I wanted at the time I had purchased it, so I picked a fairly good sized diameter cording, (and I learned that I would like a smaller diameter cording for the next time I do some piping on clothes.) Because I had originally thought that the Blues Clues fabric was a flannel, I had picked a pink flannel to make the piping with. I know that the covering for the cording should be cut on the bias so that it has some stretch to it, but I’m frugal at heart and I did not want to use all my pink flannel to make the piping for a project that may not even work out, so I just cut some 2 inch strips off of my pink flannel piece. Flannel has a little stretch to it so I thought it should work out ok. I placed the cording inside the 2 inch strips and using my zipper foot, I sewed the cording into the strip of flannel. Then after sewing the shoulder seams, I stitched the newly made piping to the front of the shirt. And it worked out great! Yes, sewing the curves of the piping on was a little interesting, but I don’t know if that was because of my inexperience in sewing with piping or because of the piping not being cut on the bias. I blame it on the first one, but that may not always be the case.

.

I was smart enough to follow the pattern guide when it came to ironing and clipping the seams. Ironing the seam in the correct direction made the construction of the pajama top so much easier and gave the piping a better finished look once it was done. The double facing on the front of this top was tricky. Because you want the tops front facing to be seen, it is sewn on backwards of how you would normally add a facing that is folded back. This complexity makes this pattern a poor choice for a beginning sewer. Once you wrap your mind around it being backwards, it becomes clear how the facings need to be sewn on, but at first it is very confusing, and sewing the curves backwards does take some skill.

.

You know, I hate long posts, but I have so much more to tell you about this pattern. So, I am going to stop here and type a part two later. So, stay tuned.

Reblogged from Fairytale Epidemic:

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