Oh Hai,

I just wanted to recommend a great website.  It is called Fail Dogs.com.  It is an off shoot of  I Can Haz Cheezburger.com and Fail Blog.com.  I like it better than Fail Blog because it combines the hilarity of the failure with the cuteness of dogs and other animals.  Sometimes, however, I am not sure why the dogs are categorized as failures when they are just so damned cute.  See the example below:

Anyway if you love cuteness, check out Fail Dogs.com.  It will definitely improve your day.

Thank You For Your Consideration,

The Graham Ten

…jamais falhe

Nachdem ich gerade die Fail Dogs neu entdeckt habe, poste ich hier einfach mal ein paar, die ich für gut halte:

Mehr davon gibts hier.

Two of my favorites.

And this one cause a) it looks like Riley and b) she would do something dumb like this.

Click here to get to faildogs.com.

Now, that’s a fail for a dog!

Despite closing early today at 2 my day in the office today is going to feel like a full week. As I write this, the clock flips to 10 am on the nose. Four hours… that’s all… just gotta get through it. Rehearsal tonight for Dare and then Dani gets back semi-permanently from tour. All of that… if I can just get through 4 hours. This is going to be a LOT harder than anyone can imagine. Wish me luck.

See you again on Tuesday… enjoy the weekend!

Mmmmm…. (leave it to Tim to bring this to my attention)

The incredible edible anus

As if that wasn’t disturbing enough… how about examining the global and historical reach of one vagina:

Six degrees of Paris Hilton’s vagina

All right… today has taken a turn for the perverse.. and I apologize… maybe it’s the long weekend, maybe it’s the moon, I don’t know… but everything popping up in my suggestion box seems to be this questionable so that’s what I’m posting today… sorry:

Sex with cars: A tutorial

Ok… let’s come out of the swamp… here’s a quiz I can get behind… in fact… it may even come in handy at a barbecue this weekend:

Beer slogan quiz

This can’t be real… it just can’t… but if it is… these are dating videos from the 80s and someone needs to find Mr.Castle for me and tell me what he’s doing with his life… because that guy is the inspiration for Dwight Schrute and he’s owed some money:

I got 8 out of 30… but then again I’m not a 14 year old:

Chat room acronyms

I wish I was a 14 year old… well more like 17… here’s the thing… some kid just got arrested for posting nude pictures of his 16 year old girlfriend on the internet. He too is 16 but it’s still illegal. He got the pictures from her because she took them on her cell phone and send them to him. Fuck! I was born at the wrong time. When I was in high school we didn’t have cell phones and if we wanted to see a boob we hate to squint our eyes at the squiggly lines on Cinemax unless we lucked upon a free weekend. Kids today have their whore girlfriends making videos with their webcams and sending them shots on their cellphones. Not fair! Even prom for fucksake! My prom date wore a burkha compared to what girls are wearing to prom today:

Prom fashion 1950s – present

If you’re ever thinking about breaking any records, you can’t do worse than having one for the longest something or other… here’s a jumping off point for you:

Longest list of the longest stuff

I recently introduced my friend Tim to LOLCats, I thought everyone had been aware of them for a while… I was however shocked to find during the introduction that they have a canine counterpart:

Fail dogs

An interesting idea but I don’t think it will happen:

Who should Obama choose as his running mate?

A collection of how to draw the Simpsons videos, everyone from Homer to donut-head Homer:

Drawing the Simpsons

Finally before I bid you all adieu to go to your various BBQ events around the city… I leave you with an inspiring piece, close to my heart:

Pandas rescued after China earthquake

Hoje eu fiquei sabendo que a operacao de resgate do ja famoso Flying Priest (que e’ como a midia internacional apelidou nosso aventureiro tupiniquim) ja custou mais de meio milhao de reais.

Eu nao consigo me conformar com tamanha falta de bom senso do figura, que em certo momento da bizarra jornada telefonou para sua equipe de terra e pediu que alguem o ajudasse a usar o GPS para ele poder ver a latitude e longitude de onde estava.

O bom e’ que existe tudo quanto e’ tipo de brasileiro, desde aqueles que se aventuram a voar de balao sem planejamento algum, ate aqueles que que perdem o amigo mas nao perdem a piada.

Aproveitando a onda FAIL DOGS, algum cara-de-pau ja lancou a campanha do FAIL PRIEST.

UPDATE: Encontrei essa excelente materia no ALIAS, do Estadao. O tom ironico, raro no jornalismo brasileiro, deixa a historia mais comica. Porque, convenhamos..

Internetslang van de dag:

“Fail” zeg je als iemand (anders) iets helemaal fout doet.
“Epic Fail” als dat op een spectaculaire manier gebeurt

En uiteraard zijn er al heelder verzamelblogs aan gewijd. Bovenstaande komt van The FAIL blog.

En omdat honden bekend staan voor hun klunzigheid en onelegant falen, hebben we na de de LolCats, dus ook de Faildogs.

I’m definitely not the first to keep up with the internet subculture – but I know you’ve heard of icanhascheezburger.com. Finally, it’s the dogs day to shine. Sort of.

Oh, and if you have yet to see ImprovEverywhere’s latest addition, check it out below. We’ve all seen musicals in movies where we don’t think twice about how fucking odd it is that people are busting out in song at every conceivable opportunity about the most insignificant shit.

Well, what if that happened in real life?:

Food Court Musical: “Can I get a napkin, please?!”

When me and Gawker’s ‘official sometimes favorite blogger’ Ephemerist were in college we were both in the same Shakespeare Voice class.  I posses one defining memory of the semester I mutilated the brilliant words of the immoral Bard every Tuesday and Thursday morning at 10am.  This was of our deeply intense teacher gathering his young students into a circle and explaining that in order to take on these profoudierrific words (he did not say profoundierrific obviously, no one ‘rrifics’ everything the way I do) we had to give each other permission to fail. 

Then began a series of exercises where my classmates and I attempted bits of texts & scenes, then to overcome any sense of perceived failure we’d throw our arms up into the air proclaiming to the heavens “I FAILED!”  Celebrating this submission to inadequacy, our fellow thespians would throw their arms up in the air rallying supportive cries of “HE FAILED!” or in my case, “SHE FAILED!”  or sometimes to improve solidarity among the group, “WE FAILED!”  You may think that I am recalling this sense memory to pity you into donating to my CHARITY BADGE, but while donations are appreciated, I actually enjoyed the welcome relief that this failure permission created. 

At my low points, which I am never at a loss for, I have often recalled this memory and to amuse myself wondered how it would play out in the real world.  For instance, running late to work the other day I just missed the ‘Magic Train.’ This is the L train that comes at approximately 8:17 everyday and through some rift in the space-time continuum has plenty of room.  And will even ride smoothly through to 8th Avenue without delay.  You miss that train, the next one takes forever to come, is packed with deodorantphobes, and hangs under the east river indefinitely while an anonymous stranger feels up your ass.  Eager for the Magic Train, I raced down the steps and missing the last one wiped out on the platform.  How awesome would it have been to be able to jump up and throwing my subway-mucked arms into the air proclaim, “I FAILED!”  My cries answered by a multitude of hipster strap-hangers, who whipping off their iPods to rejoin the land of the living, would all shout, ”SHE FAILED!”

Cut to: the corner of the park that I walk by every morning which was the backdrop for the snotty, hysterical, overly dramatic moments that made up my Ex’s and I last hour together.  As I fought to pull myself back from the utter humiliation of my heart falling out of my chest and splattering on a sidewalk in Central Park, what a relief it would have been for the Homeless Guy who had witnessed this display in its entirety (while actively picking his nose) to shout, “SHE FAILED!”  I would have gladly taken the excuse to stop sniveling and roar back in return, “I FAILED!” Although looking back now, months later, I might be tempted to shout, “HE FAILED!”

Or what if, after last call, all the people left in the bar drinking alone could raise their arms up and collectively cauterwaller, “WE FAILED!”

This Sunday despite my Resolution to not use being hungover as an excuse to inhale large quantities of cheese, I found myself stuffing multiple grilled cheese sandwichs down my gullet after succumbing to a day-after-way-too-much-tequila depression. But then I had to giggle at the mental image of my roommate’s cats Fanny&Charles dancing around, raising their tiny paws into the air, and with fur flying yelling in high pitched Itchy&Scratchy voices, “SHE FAILED!”

Failure should be celebrated more often, because it is how we get strong.  How we learn.  And it makes for the best stories, I should know.  It’s time to buckle down and defend my Former Phat Fcuk standing of #1!  Food journaling, interval sprint work outs, plenty of water, no eating after 7pm.  Crap, it took me so long to write this that it is already after 7:00.  “I FAILED!”  I expect each and everyone of you reading this to now throw your arms in the air and shout, “SHE FAILED!”   If only for the pleasure of having people stare at you for being a complete nutjob.  Sort of the way my office’s cleaning lady is staring at me right now.  

Photo credits: Steve Wright

*Thanks to Ephemerist whose blog turned me on to FAIL DOGS  my new favorite way to waste time at work.  And thank you to all that have donated to BARE ASS 2008!  and to any Non-Donators “YOU FAILED!” but this second is the first second of the rest of your life, no this one is, no this one, no this… never mind just CLICK HERE TO DONATE ALREADY

It’s like a spinoff of LOLCATS, but better. The last point being obvious, since dogs > cats.

The link to the site: Fail Dogs.

Some of them are oldies.

Some are new ones.

It is all awesome (at failing).

I need to get my dog Emma on there.

I guess I should also mention The FAIL Blog, from which this meme is derived. I looked at it a while ago, but never bothered to go back again. Just like 99% of websites I see.

Lolcats may rule, but there’s a new kid in school. Its called Fail Dogs. It follows the same basic rules as many internet meme’s, unfortunate picture of something/someone + funny text. In this case the text is a constant: FAIL. The images are all of dogs, and it’s funny just how funny this can be.

Good for a few laughs at least… enjoy.

At least for the next few minutes: Fail Dogs.

[image credit: Steve Wright]