Have you ever noticed that the back leg of that bunny looks like the head of a rat? Well, you do now. You're welcome.

First, the good news:  Big Congratulations go to Anna from Very Small Anna for knowing that Cool Whip should never be considered an appropriate topping for anything.  Yay, Anna!  By the way, friends, Anna is off to culinary school at the French Culinary Institute this fall.  She’s gonna be a star–she has both skill and creativity to spare!  If you’ve never checked out her corner of the Hinternet, you are missing a Very Good Time.

And now it’s time for some Unpleasantness.  It saddens me to say this.  Truly it does.  But I never promised you a rose garden.  Along with the sunshine, there’s got to be a little rain, sometimes.

Friends, Hungry Girl has struck again.  ‘Member when I was all appalled about the Cap’n Crunch Debacle?  Well, this time, she would have us believe that we should be Happy to feed Blue Bunny Birthday Party Ice Cream Sandwiches to our children (or in my case, kittens) because they only contain 160 calories, 3.5 grams of fat, 27 grams of carbs and >1 gram of fiber.  Oh, Dear, sweet, well-meaning Hungry Girl, I beg to differ with thee.  What’s this Incredibly Long list of unpronounceable words?  Why, I do believe it’s an Ingredient List.  Let’s take a little look-see, shall we?

Light Ice Cream: Milk Fat and Nonfat Milk, Corn Syrup, Buttermilk, Whey, Sugar, Blue Frosting {Corn Syrup, Sugar, Water, Stabilizers (Food Starch-Modified, Cellulose Gum, Dextrose, Carrageenan, Gum Arabic, Potassium Sorbate as Preservative, Citric Acid, Tricalcium Phosphate, Silicon Dioxide), Titanium Dioxide for Color, Artificial Flavor, Blue 1}, Maltodextrin, Sequin Candy {Sugar, Corn Starch, Rice Flour, Partially Hydrogenated Vegetable Oil (Soybean, Cottonseed), Gum Arabic, Xanthan Gum, Confectioner’s Glaze, Natural and Artificial Flavors, Mono & Diglycerides, Polysorbate 60, Titanium Dioxide for Color, Yellow 5, Yellow 6, Blue 1, Red 3, Blue 1 Lake}, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Contains less than ½% of Natural and Artificial Flavors, Propylene Glycol Monoesters, Mono & Diglycerides, Guar Gum, Carob Bean Gum, Cellulose Gel, Cellulose Gum, Carrageenan, Vitamin A Palmitate. Wafer: Bleached Wheat Flour, Sugar, Soybean and Palm Oil, Corn Syrup, Food Starch-Modified, Salt, Vanilla Flavor, Baking Soda. (straight from The Horse’s Mouth)

About those stabilizers in the Blue Frosting?  Do you see how many there are?  Look at all the ingredients in the Blue Frosting Bracket:  Corn Syrup, Sugar, Water, Stabilizers, Titanium Dioxide, Aftificial Flavor and Blue 1.  Without the stabilizers, you wouldn’t have icing.  You’d have some crazy kind of simple-esque opaque blue syrup.  The stabilizers are there to ensure an Icing-like Consistency.  Thanks, Team Stabilizer.

I highlighted the Sequin Candy component because all of the ingredients in the brackets are a bit disturbing.  Honestly, I think I’d rather eat real sequins.

Let’s just take a peek at the non-bracketed ingredients for the ice cream:

• Milk fat and non fat milk–apparently, these two ingredients cannot coexist in the Blue Bunny factory, even though they happily coexist in the carton of milk in my fridge.  I guess the Blue Bunny folks are just playing it safe.  Because they are Concerned for us.
• Corn Syrup
• Buttermilk
• Whey (also separated from its milky friends.  The Blue Bunny folks are being careful and Makin’ Sure)
• Sugar
• The aforementioned Blue Frosting
• Maltodextrin
• Sequins
• High Fructose Corn Syrup
• Natural and Artificial Flavors (but only less than 1/2 of 1%.  I thought that natural flavors and artificial flavors together comprised 100% of all possible flavors.  I guess the Blue Bunny folks found some Third Category of Flavor–maybe the mother ship beamed it down or something).
• Propylene Glycol Monsters (oh, okay, it’s really Monoesters.  Whatever).
• Mono & Diglycerides
• Team Stabilizer, comprised of The Gum Brothers (Guar, Carob Bean, and Cellulose), their cousin Cellulose Gel and the Bad Kid from the beach, Carageenan
• Vitamin A Palmitate

And that doesn’t even count the “wafer” ingredients.  Friends, I am at a Loss for Words.  I mean, are they serious?  They expect moms to feed this to their kids?  And the Brunette Cartoon Hungry Girl has bought into this for some reason.  I am going to believe that Hungry Girl doesn’t want us to slowly poison our children/kittens.  I’m just going to believe that she’s basing her assessment on the calorie/fat/sugar/fiber information.  Look deeper, Hungry Girl.  They put the ingredient list below the little box because the bottom of that black box is a cue to Stop Reading.  And if we take that cue, we will never really know what we are eating.

These ice cream sammiches are relatively low in calories because the Blue Bunny people have performed Industrial Food Sleight of Hand and replaced most of the fat (except for bad fats, like partially hydrogenated vegetable oil) with sugars and stabilizers.

Ask yourself, do you really want to give your kids this stuff?  Do I really want the kittens to eat this stuff?  Should anyone eat this stuff?  I’d rather have some full-fat premium ice cream in moderation than fool myself into believing that these guys are Guilt-Free!  In the words of Ricky Bobby, “Dear, sweet baby Jesus in the Manger.”  Deep breaths.  Deeeeeep brehhhhhths.

If you’re not feeling all Homemade, get some ice cream with a short ingredient list, let it soften, and then stick some between two cookies.  If you insist on letting Hungry Girl lead you down the Primrose Path of Doom, at least go with your eyes wide open, knowing that what you’re eating isn’t so much food as it is a Mass Produced Product.  Don’t go down that path secure in the knowledge that you are eating Healthy.  Cuz you’re just not.

Eating out in Japan is ranked highest out of all leisure activities.  In Tokyo alone, there are some 80,000 restaurants.  From the rowdy yatai (屋台), busy stand-up noodle stalls and the after work izakaya (居酒屋) to the countless specialty-ya (屋) and the pricey palette tantalizing ryōtei (料亭), Japan is a true mecca for food enthusiasts.  Going-out to eat for the “eater” is most definitely a fun experience, yet for the food providers, attracting customers is quite the head-splitter.  However, for over 70 years, Japanese food retailers have adopted an appealing mode of menu advertisement that has gained them some steady success: sampuru (さんぷる) or plastic food displays.

An impressive array of plastic ice cream flavours at a vendor in Tokyo.

A visual taste of what the menu has to offer.

The concept was developed in the 1920s, when an ambitious entrepreneur began manufacturing wax food models from his small apartment in Osaka.  This man was Takizo Iwasaki, who now owns one of the largest plastic food model supplier companies in the world, Iwasaki Be-I. Today, a large concentration of independent plastic food model manufacturers can be found in Kappabashi-dori (合羽橋) in Tokyo.

Kappabashi-dori, Tokyo

Over the years, food models were no longer made from wax, but from liquid plastic and silicon, giving the models a whole new dimension of texture and realism.  Here’s what happens in a nutshell:

A snapshot of the model making process.

• the food to be modeled is prepared and obtained by the factory
• silicon is poured on the food to form molds
• the food is removed and discarded
• depending on the type of food, liquid plastic may poured into the mold after the food is removed
• the molds are put in ovens to cook
• models are removed from the molds
• garnishes or sauces are put on in layers and reheated until the entire model is complete
• painting, adding texture and positioning to make the models realistic

The more realistic and intricately arranged the model displays, the more likely customers will be attracted.  Thus, for a while now, plastic food displays are as ubiquitous as the restaurants in which they are used.

Models, ready to be used.

Restaurants worldwide are beginning to incorporate plastic food models as part of their promotional mix, but interestingly, for something very Japanese, plastic food models are actually said to be as a result of dealings with the West.  Apparently, the introduction of Western menu items was poorly received as many Japanese were uncertain as to what these new dishes were.  The plastic food models were first intended for disambiguation purposes and an alternative to giving out actual samples as opposed to visual advertisement, which is the norm now.

A typical menu display at a restaurant in Tokyo.

Although, whatever their intended purpose, they remain a mouth-watering feature of Japanese dining that many food appreciators (me included) look forward to.  Itadakimasu (いただきます)!

Don’t be fooled by its cuteness. This food tastes like robots and My Little Ponies…Not like I’ve eaten a pony…toy…but…uh…hm…

Mixko

yum! Plastic!

This week I read a post on The Happiness Project blog. In the article, Gretchen Rubin, the author, mentioned how she gave up all fake food. She defines fake food as anything that comes in a crinkly package. She gave it all up, cold turkey. This is impressive. And while her post for that day was about something deeper and more meaningful than fake food, what stayed with me was this little mention of giving up fake food.

Over the course of the day, I thought about this and concluded that someday, that might be something I would consider, too. So I went back to Gretchen’s post and clicked on the link to her original article on giving up fake food for a little research. This is where the story begins. I expected to read in great detail how bad fake food is for us and how giving up fake food made such an improvement in her life. But instead, I read this:

I haven’t noticed any change in my body. I haven’t lost weight, I don’t have more energy, I’m not any more or less hungry.

But I feel much HAPPIER. I hadn’t realized that I got a prick of conscience every time I bought those items that I knew had no nutritional value and that I was substituting for healthy food. Or when I read an article about the importance of eating right. Or when I reflected on what I’d eaten in a particular day.”

I think Gretchen Rubin is on to something big here. She gave something up simply because it didn’t make her feel good. She writes in another post about her First Splendid Truth, which is:

To be happy, I need to think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right.

I need to generate more positive emotions, so that I increase the amount of joy, pleasure, satisfaction, approval, gratitude, intimacy, friendship, etc. in my life.

I also need to remove sources of bad feelings, so that I suffer less guilt, remorse, shame, anger, envy, boredom, etc.”

We all have this awareness inside us, this observer of our life, call it spirit, instict, or our gut, whatever you like, it’s that feeling we get when our actions are out of sync with who we are. It is when we are out of sync that guilt, shame, anger, frustration or other negative emotions enter the picture. These feelings are relaying an important message that we we must listen to if we are to live happy, joyful lives.

I am really impressed by Gretchen Rubin’s choice to give up fake food simply because it didn’t make her conscience feel good. She could have rationalized her fake food habit until the end of time or waited until the day it did make her feel sick, lethargic or gain weight, but instead she paid attention to her feelings and followed them. That was enough. And that is the lesson, our feelings are enough. We have the right and the obligation to listen to, and follow, our gut instincts whether they be about something seemingly small like eating junk food or very big and life altering like leaving a job or a friendship. Gretchen’s articles illustrate that nothing too big or too small falls outside of this category. Simply put, if anything you do in your life causes you these bad feelings, it’s time to consider their position in your life and make a change.

On the flip side, how many times have you tried to add a positive behavior or habit into your life because you think you should do it, but your heart just isn’t in to it? The behavior or habit just isn’t sticking but you keep trying to force it. Perhaps you aren’t generating negative feelings when the habit won’t take but you certainly aren’t generating the positive feelings you expected, either. This might be a time to check in and realize this new habit just isn’t resonating with you. It may be time to drop this habit and realize it’s just not the one for you. And that’s okay.

Hungry?

Just a reminder to our readers that tonight is Dining Out For Life in Seattle. The idea is that every restaurant involved donates 30% of their profits from the night to Lifelong Aids Alliance. It’s a great event and one we at Whimsy would love to participate in except that we are, er, not a restaurant. No matter! You will definitely be seeing us supporting our fellow humans, as well as our neighbors, by eating out at one of the many dining establishments Capitol Hill has to offer. We’re thinking bagels. Or noodles. Hmm.

A list of restaurants is here. Thanks to Capitol Hill Seattle blog for compiling it!

PS. The bagel and coffee combo in the picture above isn’t real, but it sure looks like it! It’s actually part of our faux food collection. We sell everything from frosty martinis to luscious looking pies – all faux and fabulous. See the whole collection at Whimsy Home Decor.

This is not food

We are beset by fake food. We’ve all become health experts haven’t we? Vegetarians, low-fat devotees, the frozen yogurt mob. Everyone these days has their specialty. And what has all that expertise led to? A whole lot of stupid behavior and unhealthy, unsustainable lifestyles. For something as essential as food, its amazing how ill-informed yet overly zealous we all can be. Some swear off carbs, some proclaim dairy the problem, others don’t eat meat, others eat too much of it. We all walk around with a Health Aura, even though few of us are actually healthy.

The Health Aura is poorly described, hinted at really, in this Times piece by Alex Mindlin. The article sums up a recent study conducted by the Journal of Consumer Research, that when published, will illustrate that, “the presence of healthy options on a menu can induce some diners to eat less healthily than they otherwise would.”

The article takes the example of fast food death factories (OK sorry, “restaurants”) like McDonald’s, who in recent years have added healthier options to their menus. But the mere addition of those healthy options may be giving people a false sense of security, a giant head fake really. They see the salad, order it, and complement it with a large order of fries that completely negates the entireAnd it’s connected to a larger trend.

The bottom line is this: People think they are eating healthier than ever before. They eat salads for lunch, they have smoothies at the gym, protein bars for breakfast, cereal with supplements, egg white omelette’s, sushi by the sea full. They won’t eat bread, or butter, or milk or cream. They decry fats in all its forms. They eat low fat baked everything by the bushel, but tell them you are making cookies with real lard and the silence is sure to deafen.

And all this time, with all this raised consciousness about their own healthy, most have never been more UNHEALTHY in what they are eating. I guess for some, its become normal practice to abrogate the responsibility of nourishing themselves to those that provide us food cheap and easy and without thought is too well entrenched. They’ve never had to think about food before, so why should they now? There are more important things to worry about right?

WRONG. Food is the most essential choice we make on a daily basis. Thricely! Three times a day we take the easiest choice we have, and SCREW IT UP. And whats worse? We aren’t even aware that we’re wrong. In fact, worse than that, we think we’re being good, all those protein bars, and bowls of kashi Go Lean with skim milk. And then on top of that, to walk around with an air of superiority. I just laugh these days. Sometimes outloud, but I am getting better.

How do I know this? Cause I have lived through it. I actually thought skim milk was delicious and drank it with impunity cause, it was healthy, and had little fat. Of course, I read Nina Plank’s essential book Real Food, and immediately went out and got some grass-fed whole milk from Milk Thistle Farms. It’s been two weeks. I haven’t had a single stomach problem, the milk is delicious, I’ve lost several pounds, and I find myself craving thick, delicious milk throughout the day. In fact, I think I’ll go have another right now. Tonight for dinner, I had roasted bone marrow on toast. You know why? Cause its HEALTHY, and its what we’ve been eating for hundreds of thousands of years. They didn’t have Special K with Protein then btw. And spare me the progress crap. Healthwise, we haven’t made progress. We’re killing ourselves more effectively now, so if that’s your definition of progress…

I just know I am gonna have more to say about this soon, so please stay tuned my friends, cause the outrage? It’s not going anywhere anytime soon!

As you’ve probably noticed, almost all the humor here is original.  (That is, unique, handcrafted, one-of-a-kind, limited-edition, you-saw-it-here-first type stuff.)  But occasionally I like to share a few funny links to other humor sites, so you may enjoy some of the random stuff I come across while perusing the Internet.   This is one of those times. 

If you’ve eaten fast food, you’ve probably noticed that the food item you receive doesn’t usually look anywhere like the commercials on TV.  I saw a special on TV about this one time, and they said some of the food shown in commercials is fake — that is, not even made of food.  Here’s a post with many pictures comparing the commercial version vs the actual version (which of course can vary quite a bit).

fast food pictures — commercial vs reality

Yumo!  Hostess!

Hostess cupcakes! Yum.

Actually, I don’t have any particular deep-seated hate for pastries and things that taste good.  Sometimes Hostess products actually sate the taste buds.

But constant consumption of this stuff that’s this over processed and advertised as fresh, oh!  It’s a shock to-me-spirit!

Hostess--Fresh from the Bakery?

Oh!  Lies I say, lies! The IRONY!  Freshly baked goods come in individual wrappping in a colorful box that’s been sitting there for quite some time in stacks and stacks, maybe just hinting that there’s so much that the establishment needs to get rid of them?  I think not!

Yes, I may be bit eager about this subject.

But was simply looking to share the falsities of the capitalist industry and to show how they make things that last 10 years and don’t go moldy for us to eat {as freshly baked goods!} so that they can get some moolah.

~~~~~~~~~~

But!  there are two sides to every story.  Hostess most definitely employs a good amount of well-intentioned people who need to work.

What I’m saying is, Let’s funnel this potential of the well-intentioned people into a well-intentioned, productive cause, and not the power of oily Twinkies.

I mean, there are recipes for making your own Twinkies.  {This dude Todd Wilbur, an awesome “food cloning” guy, has one recipe right here.}  And I bet you that someone who goes ahead and makes their own homemeade Twinkie-like pastries and sells them as part of their own local business will definitely be inflicting less harm on the environment than a corporate giant.

Photo credits: me&theredcarrot©2008

It’s been a while since I blogged but felt compelled after watching a documentary tonight – “Bad Seed:  The Truth About Our Food”.

If you’ve read my previous blog postings you know what GM/GE/GMO means and know why these modified “foods” are bad for you.   I put “foods” in quotations for a reason; because they aren’t food anymore in my book.  But I digress.

After watching this documentary I’m even more outraged.  Did you know that some of the largest pharmaceutical companies such as Bayer, BASF, Pharmacia, Upjohn, and others are owned, partners with large bio-tech companies such as Monsanto or have bio-tech subsidiaries?  Doesn’t that seem strange to you?  That companies that develop medication for sick people around the world are also involved with genetically modifying foods that are proven in many cases to make people sick?

Please take the time to watch “Bad Seed:  The Truth About Our Food” as well as do your own research about how these biotech companies and pharmaceutical companies are related.  I’m still researching this myself and will definitely post more information as I find it.  I encourage you to do the same by posting comments and including websites, books, etc on the topic.

We have a really cool red bowl that sits in the middle of the dining room table.  I used to throw bills in it, but then had the idea of making it more ornamental by filling it with fake fruit.  I did what any mature, 45 year old mother of two would do when faced with a dilemma.  I called my mommy.

“Where do you get fake fruit?” I asked my mom.

“I’ve seen fake fruit at Crate and Barrel,” she said.  See?  My mom knows everything.

“Can we get some the next time I visit Boston?” I asked.

“Sure,” Mom said.  “But we should get some real fruit, too, because it has more nutritional value.”

“Hardy har har,” I said.  “You can use that one when you do your opening act at Ceasar’s Palace.”

The next time I went to Boston, my mom took me to Crate and Barrel.  There was terrific looking fake fruit everywhere.  They were scattered throughout the store, on polished countertops, and in nearly empty china cabinets.  I walked around the store picking up fake watermelon slices, fake grapefruits, and fake mangos.  When my arms couldn’t hold any more fake fruit, I made my mom carry some.  A woman in a red and white striped Crate and Barrel apron hurried towards us.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

I smiled as engagingly as possible. “I was going to buy all this fruit!” I said enthusiastically.

“It’s display fruit,” she said.  “It’s not for sale.”

“Oh, crap,” said my mother.

“Put the fruit back,” said the lady, and whirled away.

I watched her walk out of our line of vision.  “Put the fruit on that table and let’s get out of here,” I told my mom, who cocked a disapproving eyebrow at me.  “It was very misleading fruit.  We are under no obligation to spread it artfully throughout the store.  Let’s get lunch.”

________________________________________

Back in Reading, I saw fake apples in AC Moore, the craft store.  They were thin skinned and each one looked the same.  They sure weren’t Crate and Barrel quality fake food.  I reluctantly put them in my red bowl.

“They look nice, Honey,” said Adam.

“They look like shit,” I replied.

“No, you can tell they’re apples,” said Adam.

I called my mom.  “How does your new fake fruit look?” she asked.

“Like shit,” I said sullenly.

“Hmmm. . .it would be better if it looked like peaches and apricots,” my mom replied.

_________________________________________

Last week, in a shop in Cozumel, Mexico, I saw baskets of gorgeous fake bread and fake vegetables.  There was a wonderful variety.  You could practically smell warm yeast wafting off the shiny fake loaves.  I yanked Adam’s arm.

“Wouldn’t those look great in our bowl?” I squealed.

Adam’s eyes glowed with anticipation of the upcoming bargaining session.  “I’ll offer the guy 100 dollars for a hundred of them,”  he said.

“How the hell are we going to fit one hundred pieces of fake food in our luggage?” I asked, but Adam was too far gone to care.  He bounded to the cash register and accosted a manager.  They gestured and dickered.  Our offer was rejected, and we walked away, my heart heavy with fake food longing.

Adam looked at me pityingly.  “What is it with you and fake food?” he asked.

“No calories?” I suggested.

Well, Folks, a happy ending was had by all.  The manager of the shop sold 52 pieces of fake food for $1.75 each, (the same price listed on the sign in front of the baskets).  I got my bread and vegetables.  Adam was able to dicker.  I’ll never make my mom go looking for fake food again.  The only unhappy person was the Crate and Barrel lady, who probably had to run around the store placing fake fruit on tables and in china cabinets after we left.

Here is the fake bread and fruit from Mexico:

I’m going to alternate displays.  In the fall and winter the bowl will be filled with bread because that’s cozy.  In the spring and summer it will be filled with vegetables because they’re fresh and colorful.

I’m the Martha Stewart of fake food.

If I would actually use $40.00 worth of donut soaps- I would totally buy these.
They look better than real donuts.

MUST HAVE NOW.
hamburgerbed

Causes Of Childhood Obesity: Overeating Is The Main Culprit

There are more than one causes of childhood obesity though the main cause is overeating accompanied by a sedentary lifestyle and general physical inactivity. Children that consume too many calories and who do not exercise to burn up those calories are most likely to suffer from obesity because each calorie that is not burnt up will translate into body fat and subsequent obesity. Read Further

You know what I don’t understand? Instant porridge. It’s as incomprehensible to me as mild cheddar. In fact more so, because at least some hidden part of my brain can grudgingly just about concede that it is possible that some people have something wrong with their tastebuds and therefore prefer mild cheddar to actual cheese, but instant porridge? It’s supposed to taste just the same as real porridge, in reality it tastes slightly less nice, and it takes just as long to make. It is no quicker to make up a packet of instant porridge than it is to put some fucking oats and milk in a fucking saucepan and stir them for a bit.

I really don’t understand people and fake food. I don’t actually mean ready meals. I know I take the piss but I understand ready meals, really I do, they really are quicker. Hell, sometimes I even – don’t tell anyone I said this – sometimes I even buy ready-made microwavable mashed potato. I know it’s Bad and Sick and Wrong. I know it’s nothing like as nice as my own mashed potato (I make a mean mashed potato, y’all). But it does take all of five minutes in the microwave, and even at my most crazy-uber-mashingest I can’t get a good mashed potato together in less than twenty, with a fair bit of effort expenditure.

So ready meals, yeah, I get it. They’re fast. I don’t get people who buy ready meals and cook them in the oven, though. If you’re prepared to wait that long for your food, why not make some real food? But that aside, I do get them. It’s all this fake food nonsense I don’t get.

Like instant mashed potato. I can just about understand it if you’re camping (though I don’t understand why you’d be camping!), and I can even concede that there might be some weird people somewhere who actually like its somewhat, ah, distinctive taste. But there are people who actually eat it like it’s, you know, ordinary mashed potato and that I really don’t get. And, god, there’s that fucking kid’s TV programme set in Brighton with that badger in it who eats mashed potato all the time and they show him making it AND THEY NEVER ONCE MENTION THAT IT’S INSTANT MASHED POTATO. There are probably children everywhere who think that all mashed potato starts life as A POWDER IN A PACKET.

I’ll let you off for instant hot chocolate. I drink it sometimes myself. It’s not much quicker than real cocoa but it can be sweeter and creamier, depending on how you make your cocoa. And yes, instant soup makes sense, too. But milk powder, seriously? Those pasta bake things that come in a jar and are no faster and less nice than making your own? And even – dare I say it – cake and bread mixes? (What the hell. Seriously. IT’S JUST THE INGREDIENTS MIXED UP ALREADY. THERE IS NO EXTRA MAGIC THING IN THERE THAT MAKES IT EASIER. I did actually buy one quite recently, but that was because I wanted the dalek-shaped cookie cutter that came inside the box. The biscuits it made really weren’t very nice. A bag of flour from my local supermarket costs nine pence, dude.)